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Through the Rain

Chapter Text

The White House Washington D.C.

October 15, 1998

6:15am

It was a cold Wednesday morning, given the fact that it's the middle of an autumn season.

Outside were trees getting glabrous. Oranges, and yellows falling on the pastured, and flat grounds piled up together scruffy, but still alluring.

To Hillary it was not. Everything about everything made her feel somber. 

She was currently leaning her upper body at the wall, her legs scattered on the bathroom floor, feeling the freezing tiles up to her core. She'd been continuously vomiting from late five in the morning, until nothing was left for her to throw up. She felt normally sick, but something felt a little different. Something wasn't right, but she couldn't figure it out.

She was about to rise from the ice like floor when she felt the rumbling sensation in her stomach again. She crawled lazily, but in a rapid motion to reach the frequently flushed toilet, just in time before she could pissed the spotless floor. She steadies herself, by grabbing the sides of the toilet seat, bending her head towards it as well, causing little strands of blondes falling over her face. she slightly opened her mouth preparing for the outburst. She waited, but nothing ensued her.

"Fuck!" She was furious, this has been up for the majority of her time spent in the bathroom.

She'd lost almost an hour of her slumber, she felt tired sick. She rises up from the ground, hands gripping the edges of the sink. She looked directly at her reflection on the mirror. She was studying her face, and she immediately felt self pity. Ughhh.. those dark circles that are hanging under her eyes, her skin looking saggy, wrinkles getting deeper, Hues of blues running out of its vibrant color. Maybe everyone's right, she thought. The reason why her ill fated husband cheated on her, is because she's not attractive anymore. Or maybe she never was. Not fresh, Sexy, and certainly not 23 like... her. Even her thoughts couldn't bare to speak it's name. His mistress name.

She then switched the faucet on, propping her head downwards to the bottom of the sink, as she reached for the running water to wash her face, she felt her head getting more dizzy, and unfortunately the warm water didn't made anything better. She raised her head, took a nice long look at herself- and then there it is again, she felt another ripple of nausea. Her knuckles were already turning papered white, from gripping the edges way too hard, as she dry heaves.

Great! Just great.

She opened the cabinet under the sink, and took a clean towel, and used it to wipe her face dry. She reached her hands to anything she could use to steady herself with, as she makes her way out to the bedroom. When she made further inside the room, she caught her eyes on the phone, that was sitting on the nightstand table.

She was fighting to keep herself from fainting, fighting.. until everything finally went black.

-

7:20am

Bill was getting ready for the day, he was facing the mirror fastening the last three buttons of his shirt, when two secret service entered his private study a.k.a his new sleeping quarters. Gestures like those used to be disrespectful, but since the last five years of his presidency, it became typical.

"What is it?" acknowledging the intruders standing next to the door.

"Sir, we wanted to inform you, that the First Lady was brought to the medical unit.."

He was in the middle of tying his necktie when it slowly sank into him, He turned to face them, his eyes wide, face pale, he was worried as f***.

"Wait, what?"

"She was found in the masters bedroom lying unconsciously on the floor."

And with that, he flung his way out off the room, to the private halls of the residence, down the stairs. He was running, he was afraid. why is she unconscious? Was she sick? Every bit of negativity, was surfacing his mind. anything, but minor illnesses, was eating him alive. If anything happens to his wife, he can never forgive himself for it.

A tear fell from his blues, His broken heart's shattered pieces, getting worst. He stopped from his track, when he saw one of the rooms of the medical unit swung open. A nurse, followed by Doctor Mariano, coming out of the door.

-

As bill opened the door, His attention promptly got caught by the figure lying on the hospital bed. She was facing the wall, opposite from where he was standing. The foul smell of iodoform was running through his nose, he never liked the scent.

He sauntered to her, cautious not to make a sound that might disturbed her unconsciousness. When he settled down at the side of the bed, he just stared at her. Droplets of tears were silently falling out of his eyes, that made hillary stir from her musing. How sensitive she had turned into for the past few weeks. She took a quick glance at her husband, who doesn't seemed to notice her wake.

"I'm not dying, you know?" 

He was flustered..

"Yes, William. I'm alive. If you're mistaken, we're not in the morgue. It's not my funeral yet."

Yet? What does she mean by yet..

He had begged their doctor to tell him earlier what his wife's condition was, and he wasn't successful since Hillary warned Dr. Mariano not to say a single word about her condition to anyone, even her husband. That’s why the doctor insisted that it's Hillary's responsibility, to tell him about it. He'd gone ballistic! since he thought it was something vital, and as her husband, he thought he has all the rights to know what it is! Whether it would be coming from the doctor or from Hillary, it’s his right to know.

He'd been aware of his wife's frequent visit to the medical unit, and he had also been aware about the test Hillary had been taking. Although she'd never discussed what those test are for. She'd received the results a few days ago, and to all those test: no illness was she positive for. Which brought her all the confusion the world has to offer. Not until this morning, when she took another test. A test she'd thought was silly for her to take, given her age, and her, and her husbands current state. But Doctor Mariano insisted as she contemplates on why she had not suggested it promptly on Hillary's first visit, about this matter. And given the symptoms that she'd been feeling, including fainting that had just occurred this morning, everything just seemed to fit.

He walked his way around the bed to where his wife was facing. He grabbed a chair that was sitting at the corner of the room. He carried it, and placed it on the side of the hospital cot. There he sat, as he took her hands that was resting on her stomach. He wiped his tears with his free hand, and then he enveloped her palms between his.

"Tell me my love, what's wrong?"

She looked at him in the eye. blues building its waves of tears. She hated him for cheating on her, and she wasn't even done with it, and now he'd given her a reason, for the hate, and anger to subside. He gave her another purpose to love him more. Still she was afraid. Afraid about his reaction. Afraid about everyone's reactions. Ones it's out, people would think it's planned. And of all perceptions of people about them, she never wanted that one. She never wanted to hear it from anyone.

 "I'm.. I'm..." 

He looked at her while struggling at preparing himself, for the worst.

"I can't do this."

Now he's overly perplexed. his brows furrowed, his palms got tighter around hers.

"Hill.. Tell me, what is it? Please!?"

Bill's eyes were flooding with tears. He was kissing her hands, pleading for her to say it.. to say something, to say anything.

She retrieved her hand away from him, sat up on the bed, and slips her hand under her pillow. She took something under it. 

He on the other hand, had gone desperate, wishing for her balled up fist to unfold right away. 

She turned her face away from her hands. She was contemplating whether or not to show it to him. 

He was not amused, it's torturing him. Like every second spent by her thoughts, was taking forever. 

She took his hands, and placed her enclosed one on his opened one. It took her a few more self encouragement till she finally decides, and releases what's inside: A white rectangular object, with two pink lines on the middle, flashed right in front of his eyes.

 

Chapter Text

September 17, 1998
8:30pm EST

It had been a very busy evening for the president alone in the oval office. He's well occupied that he had no spare time for dinner, including lunch, nor some snacks earlier that day. Although it's been tiring, God knows how much he's been thanking him for all the non stop workloads on his desk! which played an important role, in his life at the moment, as distraction from the scandal.

Not long ago, Kenneth Starr released a report about his year long affair with Monica Lewinsky. And boy had it been the talk of every news stations, and had served as a feast for every late night shows. Details about his affair had been revealed to the American people. He felt completely exposed, but hell did he deserve all of it.

He'd been trying to avoid his wife, just as she was probably doing as well, since the morning he confessed to her. He felt embarrassed, and felt deeply sorry for her, for making her perspectives a laughing stock.

A vast right wing conspiracy

A vast right wing conspiracy

A vast right wing conspiracy

Which she of all people doesn't deserve.

He doesn't know how to approach her without breaking down. Which would make the situation far more worst. Of all feelings she never liked being pitied at, and because of the scandal he'd sent her over the edge.

It had been over a week, or two since they last shared a room together. She didn't even gave him precautions on what he needed to do, or what he deserves to do, but he did it, he did the first move in kicking himself off their bedroom. Since Hillary gave him a silent treatment after their argument that morning, he also got the message of giving her space in silence.

He was in the middle of reviewing a report about the current economic issues, when a knock on the door had occurred. Being the focused and persistent worker that he is, he didn't notice the sudden commotion. That's when the unknown presence made an act to be known. He cleared his throat, and bill immediately looked up from his desk. Still with his glasses perched on the bridge of his nose.

"Very sorry to disturbed you Mr. President. But the First Lady Sir.." He kept his sentence hanging, intending to hear from the president first before continuing.

"What about the First Lady ?" He relaxed from his seat, resting his back on the swivel chairs splat. And playfully gripped its arm rest.

"She's been ordering wine bottles sir.. From 6pm. And it's been her 4th bottle now sir."

"-I've thought it's time for you to know."

"How is she?"

"Well, that's the case sir, she seemed overdosed."

He ran his hands through his salt and peppered hair.

No ones fault but yours William.

"We were trying to talk her out of it, but she's very hard headed. And there's nothing we can do more about it, but to give the bottle to her. We're very worried about her sir, she's not that far from alcohol poisoning."

He ran his fingers up to his temples, slightly massaging it to ease the light headedness he was feeling. He absentmindedly strips off his glasses, moved his chair backward and rose up from it.

"Where is she?"

-

Jeffrey told me that she's somewhere around the third floor..

They're married for almost 23 years, he knows every bit of her soul, and that involves her multiple personalities when getting dead drunk. Although Hillary has always been a responsible drinker, and a lady who's good at handling her alcohol intake, there were instances in her life, where she just goes out of her way, and drink.. Heavily.

These "instances" first happened when they were younger, when she was only his girlfriend, when she found out that he was cheating on her. And in 1989 when he asked for divorce. Making this it's third.

I tromped my way up the stairs to the third floor, and as I was getting closer.. I heard music playing.

A glowing ember

burning hot

burning slow

I stopped from my track as I begin to notice the song, and its familiarity through my ears. No!

deep within I'm shaken by the violence
of existing for only you

How?

Did she found the cd?
Bullshit!

I know I can't be with you

I do what I have to do

and I have sense to recognize that 

Bill run halfway of the stairs.

The song was about to end,

I don't know how to let you go

When it starts to replay again, he immediately sensed where it was coming from. 

When he made his way to the open door of his music room, he saw her standing on the mini bar, her back facing him.

Hillary was having a hard time opening what seemed to be a fifty years old Johnie Walker scotch, a gift to her husband by a friend.

Bill saw one bottle of wine beside Hillary's feet. He darted his eyes around the room to find the other three, splayed messily on the couch table. Is she trying to kill herself?

When she popped the bottle open, which took her a few seconds to realize she'd finally opened it, proving her being off the wagon. She raised her hands up in the air, while enthusiastically chanting 'I did it', giggling like a 5 year old celebrating her little achievement. she reached out for the glass at the side of the bar, and poured the alcohol in it, but before she could drink it, bill took the glass away from her hands, and chug the alcohol himself.

suddenly the world slowed down from its rotation.

She raised her head to look at the alcohol thief beside her. Although it did took her mind a little while to process what was happening. Her eyes fell on his jaw, down his throat. His adams apple popping out of his skin, as he guzzle down the drink. She gulped.

As soon as he dropped the glass on the bar,
He turned his body to her, and they Locked eyes. both felt the heat that was rising above their chest. Intoxication from the warmth lost in weeks.

Hillary licked her lips as she tries to suppress herself from falling into his arms. which became very difficult for her, due to the great amount of alcohol that are lurking inside of her.

They were lost in each other's eyes, lost with the reflection of lust in their blues.

He was sweating. Inhale, and exhales becoming the only music to their ears.

Music, It stopped for awhile, but only for awhile. And the last thing they knew, the cd player started to replay the exact same song, over again. that made them broke them from their reverie.

What ravages of spirit
conjured this temptuous rage

She turned away, away from him, as her cheeks burned from embarrassment.

created you a monster
broken by the rules of love

Bill looked away from her too, cursing himself in his thoughts to stop the rising temptation in him.

They remained that way, for quite a short time. Acting shy around each other.

and fate has lead you through it
you do what you have to do

and fate has led you through it
you do what you have to do ...

But then she saw the cd's cover that was laying on top of the table, and her mood quickly changed. She walked around the furnitures to where it was, and furiously grabbed it.

and I have the sense to recognize that
I don't know how to let you go

"I hope you don't mind me, listening to the cd your bimbo gave you.."

Fuck

She was looking down at the cover, hands shaking while holding it, and tears building up in her eyes.

Bill spun around to see his wife, emotionally broken. An image not a lot of people had bound to witness.

"-It says here that she wants you to listen to this song..  have you?"

I did,  but I can't, I shouldn't.  It would break her to pieces, so i've made my mind not to say a thing,  I just looked at her. God, I miss her so much.

"So.. was this... your love song?" Slurring with her words while pairing it up with over emphasized hand expressions. She looked up. finally, meeting his gaze.

"Fucking- answer me!!" She threw the cover to his direction. Her eyes blazing with flames.

"-I.. hillary.."

"Was she good?"

Her eyes completely red.

"How different- was- she- from your other- floozies? TELL ME!!"

And the next thing I knew, Is that i was only a feet away from her.

"That- narcissistic- bitch!- Who- who does she think she is?- Dictating you-" She points her fingers to his chest, slightly pushing him rearward. "to listen to this piece of shit?"

She looked at him in the eye, and she saw tears lingering around his sclera. She looked down, and instantly noticed the small scale of space between them, that made her step a foot backward from it's stance. She turned her back to him, and when she was about to walk away she felt his hand grip her arm, that resulted a sideway turn of her head to him, with her jaw clenched, paired with cold stares that could burn. She furiously yanked her shoulder, to free her arm from his hands.

She walked back to the mini bar, and lift the bottle of scotch from the top of the table, poured alcohol inside the glass, which unintentionally got mixed with tears, that freely fell from her eyes. She raised the Tumblr up to her lips, and chugged the whole glass.

As much to bills dismay, He'd made the mistake, and it's time to pay the price, to suicide watch. He didn't stir in protest. He just watched his wife suffer from his unfaithfulness.

She was keeping herself from breaking down, but she couldn't. She couldn't keep her emotions intact.

I heard her whimper
Saw her lose her life.

When she filled the tumblr again, that's when I made my way to stop her from trying to kill her self. I  walked as fast as I can to where she was.

She was about to consume the strong drink, when bill fought her from doing so. Bill took a strong force, that made the alcohol spill a little on both of them. He took a quick glance at her, and she wasn't really pleased about his actions. His eyes got caught by the tumblr, that made him drink the remaining liquid.

When he was in the middle of drinking, Hillary drank the alcohol straight from it's bottle, that made him stop from consuming the rest of the tumblr. He dropped the glass, and forcibly grabbed the bottle from Hillary's grip, but she didn't let go that easily. Instead, both had come across of a little tag of war, until it ended with the bottle falling to the ground. soaking it's carpet, by a half of a hundred year whiskey.

She slapped him hard. Slapped him so hard that her hands marked his face.

Chapter Text

9:20pm EST

Her slap made his head reel. It was loud and destructive. He got slapped. He got slapped in the face by his wife. It stung, it burned. But more importantly, it made him lose his patience. Hillary was shocked. She didn't purposely want to slap him, as if she owned a hand made of steel. But she got completely carried away by her inebriate condition.

Oh my God, oh my God, oh my God. I just hit him.

Hah! I just hit him.

Wait... I hit him?

Oh, Shit.

Okay, don't make him think that you regret it. Don't make him think that you're sorry. When he looks at you, look at him straight in the eye Hillary. Straight in the eye.

Bill was taking his time of composing himself. He was trying really hard to calm his senses, and his anger towards his wife. After all, he deserved more than a smack on the face. He never laid a hand on Hillary, and he wouldn't do it now. But he was livid. Livid in a different way, livid in an erotic kind of way. His anger wasn't really because of the slap, but the realization it brought to him: the lack of physical contact between him and his wife for more than he can remember. He longed for her touch, craved for the contact of skin. He desired for his hands and lips all over her body. He longed so much of her.

He couldn't help himself anymore, and when he turned to face her, his eyes turned dark with lust. She welcomed those pairs though, with an exchange of those innocent eyes in defense of his lustful ones. However, it only escalated the fire that burned within him. She got trapped in its spell. Both of them got trapped in the spell of alcohol and lust. Bill shifted his eyes on the floor. He travelled his gaze slowly to her feet. Her smooth porcelain thighs. Her thick hips. Then, his eyes stopped for a while at the center of her hips, in which she noticed. That made her breath hitch. It made the center of the small fabric, in the middle of her hips drip with moisture. She continued following his sinful gazes. He admired her stomach for a couple of seconds. Of course he would admire them, like he always did, since it bore the fruit of their passionate love. They wanted so badly to have more, but it wasn't meant to be.

He then went back to his task, moving his eyes at the two mountains that hanged freely beneath the negligee he bought. He licked his lips in anticipation of the things he would do to them, when the events had played well into his favor. His eyes was caught by her sultry collarbone, that he would frantically shower with nibbles and kisses. Up to her neck, from which she got herself in a lot of troubles, through the years

Thank God for her three best friends: Turtlenecks, scarves and concealers. If not for them, hickeys that had to do with the first couple, would've ended up in the headline of news programs. Then her face, her sweet but not so angelic face, that he'd love to capture in his mind each time it makes different faces. And those eyes, those beautiful set of deep blues that clutched his gaze. They locked eyes for a moment. Everything stopped. Time paused for a moment. Then suddenly, it played fast. He went to her quick. His arms violently encircled her waist. She looked up to his lips, and before she can think of another thought, he already crashed his mouth on hers. He kissed her hungrily, his hands running up and down to her sides. Hillary grabbed the lapels of his coat, pulling him as close as possible to her. The kiss was hard, hurried, and full of avidity. He turned his aim to her chin, down to her jaw. He bit down the sensitive spot that he knew she liked so much as it sent shivers through her nerves. An unsolicited moan escaped her mouth, proving his predictions were right.

She wrapped her legs tightly around his, and ran her hands up to his nape. Then, she turned her head to the side giving him more access to her neck. He groaned. They missed this. Ever since they became president and First Lady, given the cruel reality of it's very unpredictable nature, they grew far apart from each other. Which unfortunately had never come to anyone's notice even theirs. Sex had became the least option for them. It had been a very long time since they felt the fire of greed for passion.

His lips made a pathway back to her lips, those lips that he yearned for days. No, actually for years. He missed being a 24 year old charming Yale law student. He missed being the guy who would proudly kiss and cling to her even with a lot of people around. He missed being young wild and free with Hillary Rodham. He missed being what they used to be.

Both of them wanted skin, so even if she didn't want to, she pulled herself back from the kiss. She looked at him seductively, while pushing his coat out of his arms. When the coat was off, she grabbed it with both of her tiny hands, and encircled it on his nape, using it to slowly pull him back to her. She looked at him innocently, and when his face was inching closer to her lips she turned her face aside making his lips land on her cheek. She tiptoed to reach his right ear. "Touch me," she whispered sensually. She moved back to her feet, and waited for him to attentively follow her instructions.

He crossed his arms around his chest. He examined me first. I bit my lip. I thought he was playing coy "Aren't you--?" I was cut off by his sudden movement. He walked to my back and i felt his arms circled around me, I felt his fully hardened member nudge the space in between the dimples on my lower back, that turned my carnal desire on even more.

His hands slowly made its way around the middle of the belt that was securing her garb. His fingers fondled with the knot as he leaned closer to the side of her face while his fingers untie her belt. He was sucking, nipping and licking her ear lobe. The belt fell on the floor, and the small piece of garment that hugged her curves loosened, leaving her bare on the stomach. His left hand ran its way down her thighs while the other one ran up to her breast. He pulled away from her earlobe and seductively whispered "Like this?"

"Oooooh yeeees! Fuck, please just like that," I cried.

He stroked his way down her center atop her panties and when he reached her entrance He made circular motions around it.

"Babe...your...panties...are...soaked," he said each word in between kisses on her jaw. His hand went under her black laced bra and then squeezed her right breast hard, that made hillary scream with pleasure. Bill’s fingers moved the small piece of fabric aside and he immediately slipped one finger inside of her.

In each pump of his fingers in and out of her tight trench, she felt her knees getting weaker and weaker. He pinched her hard nipples, and thrusts another finger in.

I was losing my mind, that i started grinding my buttocks to his member. I felt how fully erected it was, ready to swim deep inside of my wet folds.

Bill felt her walls grip his fingers, reminding him that she's close to her peak, so he curled up his fingers to reach her g-spot, and presses up his thumb on her clit, and started rubbing it hard.

I couldn't hold it any longer, I was whimpering. bill felt that I was losing my balance, so he holds me tight on my stomach.

"Yes, that's it. cum for me baby. Cum for me.." He seductively said to me.

"You know what i will do to this rosebud right here? I'd fuck it with my dick so hard later, that you'd scream so loud, It'd reach the
Second floor."

And with that she came hard, while screeching his name. her juices flowing warm and slick on his fingers. She was panting heavily.

Bill showered her sweaty neck with wet kisses. Making butterflies fly inside her stomach, of how affectionate it felt like for her.

I smiled.

When she recovered from her emotional high, She turned around to face him with a smirk on her face.

Now, it's showtime.

She grabbed his necktie, choking him a little. Being pulled towards her lips, Bill was expecting that she'd steal a kiss but to his surprise, she stuck her tongue out, and licked her way from his bottom lip up to the bridge of his nose, and mopped it all over his face. She cockily smiled at him, while unfastening his neck tie. She ripped the buttons of his shirt open. She got really aggressive going as far with pushing him down the floor. She pulled down the zipper of his pants, and strongly pulled it out off his legs with his briefs. Without his breeches, his manhood stood proudly. She grabbed the bottle of liquor on the side where it fell, and to both of their surprise, there was still a bit of wine left. Suddenly, an idea popped out of her head. She knelt down in between his bare thighs, and without hesitations spilled the liquor on both of his upper leg. "I wish Monica was here so I could show her how it's really done." She leaned closer placing her hands on each side of Bill's thighs, and rapidly licked her way up to his member, tasting the alcohol mixed with his sweat. Hillary clasped her hands around his shaft. She looked up aiming to lock eyes with him while doing it. But she saw him, eyes closed.

Bill was praying, that his seeds would not spill in any minute.

"Open your eyes, and look at me."

And he did. She gripped him hard, She planted a wet kiss on his testicles as she made an up and down rhythm with his member.

He writhed in agony of the burning sensation within him.

She tongued her way to the head of his cock and kissed it deeply. She made out with his other head. Then she sucked...

-

"I can't do this anymore. I think that's all I can remember Bets." Hillary said while covering her face with a throw pillow, embarrassed.

They were in the living room of the private residence. She invited Betsy for lunch to tell her the big news herself, before she found out from some other sources when the press unpremeditatedly finds out. Also, she wanted to ask her good, loyal friend some much needed advice.

"Well that's quite an information alright,” Betsy carelessly responded as she sips her green tea. "You know Hills, I didn't know that you had a talent for narrating."

"Oh, God! No!" She buried her face deeper into the pillow, praying she'd just disappear from the surface of the Earth.

"I mean, I didn't know you can get pregnant through oral se-" before Betsy could even finish her sentence hillary was already shooting daggers at her, that made her stop from speaking.

"Well, uhmm. What's the plan? To be honest I can tell from the moment you walked in the room, that you've gained a slight amount of weight from the chubbiness of your face. And it's only been what? 4 weeks?"

"Oh my Lord! Really?" Hillary dropped the pillow and immediately palmed her face to feel the added flab on her cheeks.

"So.. what did billy boy say? I'm guessing his ego flew up to Mt. Everest when you told him! Like, you cheated on your wife with an intern, you're in deep shit with your presidency, and you get her all knocked up on a drunken night? What a karma!" Betsy scoffed as Hillary's face turned tomato red.

"What would people think of me?" Hillary sobbed.

"Oh! Hillary. Where's the Hillary I know? You never give a fuck about what people thinks or says about you! You're going to be fine. It's a baby! You've waited so long for this baby right here!"

"But!- what about the baby? I don't want the baby to live with all this pressure around him or her. And, of all the years, God why now?!" Hillary cried louder.

Betsy chuckled "I know Hon, but God does have a strange humor sometimes."