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Flutter-Flappers

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“Hey, Twilight! Wowsers, you look beat. Your new flutter-flappers all tired out?”

Twilight Sparkle sighed, shaking out her mane as she stepped into the library. “You have no idea, Pinkie. Rainbow Dash was pushing me hard in today’s training, and I just...” Her friend’s words finally registered, and she stopped stock-still. “Hang on. What did you just say?”

From the table, surrounded by books, Pinkie Pie beamed at her as if nothing was wrong. “I said your flutter-flappers look all sore! Your flippity-floppers are drooping, your pony peepers are baggy, and even your fuzzytop’s all messy from being out in the wind too long!”

Twilight reached up to her fuzzytop—no, no, to her mane—reflexively, before frowning at the new nonsense coming out of Pinkie’s mouth. “Why are you using those ridiculous words all of a sudden?” she demanded.

“I found them in this book!” Pinkie gestured to the manual in front of her, open to an anatomy chart labeled in a fashion that could charitably be called unorthodox, and could more accurately be called ridiculous. ‘Cutie mark’ seemed to be the only term it got right. “I wanted to impress you with my new technical knowledge!”

“I’m sorry, Pinkie,” Twilight insisted, “but the only thing I’m impressed with is how absurd this chart is!” She pointed with her left clippity-clopper—no, no, her hoof, her left hoof. “The technical term for a unicorn’s horn is most definitely not ‘magic zapper’!”

“But it’s so much more fun to say! And you weren’t confused, were you? You knew what I meant!”

Twilight pursed her lips. “Well, yes...” she reluctantly admitted. Really, the purpose of language was to convey meaning, and any word that served that purpose, however silly, couldn’t technically be called incorrect... But her internal critic still chafed at the thought, and she scrunched up her whiffermuzzle—no!

“Pinkie Pie,” she finally said, as kindly as she could. “You know I enjoy your silliness more often than not these days. But you also know how important correctness of speech and writing is to me, don’t you?”

Pinkie giggled and flopped down on the table, covering the ridiculous chart with her hug zone. “Yeah, I know. Don’t worry, I’ll save it for when your flippity-floppers aren’t around to get bugged!”

Twilight allowed herself a little laugh as well. “Thank you, Pinkie. So is that all you were reading while you were waiting for me?”

“Oh! Actually, I found a book with your name on it...”