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The Greater Night Vale Medical Community

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Leslie was clearing brush in the Dog Park when she got bitten by- something. Not a dog. There were no dogs in the Dog Park. The dog-like shape of the biting something was probably just a coincidence.

Luckily there were some hooded figures nearby, and they called an ambulance. Twenty minutes later, Leslie had gently clotting blood on her arm and a room in the ER. She waited patiently for a doctor. And waited. And waited. She tried playing candy crush on her phone, but it was hard with her right arm injured. It felt numb. Neurotoxins or shock, that was always the question.

A woman leaned in through the room's open door. She had short brown hair and smiling brown eyes and flawless freckled brown skin. "Hi," she said. "I'm Ann Perkins, I'm a nurse. There should be a doctor in to see you soon. They're trying to deal with a blood fountain on floor twelve right now."

"Jeez, that thing again?" Leslie rolled her eyes and started to push herself off the bed. "That blood fountain's been broken since I was five. I guess I'll just go home, then."

"Whoa, hold on." Ann shooed Leslie back into bed. "You have some major lacerations and puncture wounds on that arm.You're not going anywhere."

"I have stuff to do," said Leslie. "And the doctors could be hours. Plus, there's all this blood, and doctors get really annoyed when you bleed on them."

Ann got a weird look on her face, and she took a couple deep breaths. Then she said "I'm going to disinfect this and sew the lacerations up for you. Okay?"

"I figured you would amputate," said Leslie, suspiciously. "Are you sure you're a qualified medical professional?"

"Got my nursing degree at IUPUI." Ann rummaged in one of the cupboards. She pulled out a live snake, a Tupperware of gray goo, a book with the face of a man, and finally a little first-aid box. "I only moved here last week."

"You're new in town!" Leslie beamed, and then winced as Ann started cleaning her arm. "I hope you enjoy your time in Night Vale, the best little desert community in America. We have the highest mysterious death rate in the entire southwest, and the largest beehive in the entire world. No one knows where it came from."

"That sounds like a quote from my welcoming pamphlets," said Ann, still swabbing at Leslie's wounds.

"I wrote those," confided Leslie. "In eighth grade, as part of my citizen loyalty essays. Leslie Knope, parks department."

"Nice to meet you." Ann smiled. It was a perfect smile. Ann had white, even teeth, like a densely built picket fence that was meant to keep something out. Or keep something in.

Leslie couldn't help smiling back.

"Ann," she said. "Beautiful Ann. I get a feeling that we're going to be friends."

"Awesome," said Ann. "I'm going to give you some anesthetic now."

Leslie felt a small prick and then the stabbing agony from her arm just melted away. And Ann hadn't even performed any long and tedious chants!

"Really good friends," said Leslie, dreamily, as Ann carefully sewed her back together.