L stared at the chess game in front of him. Checkmate. Of course. This game was so unlike reality. Because there was no happy ending for them, no matter how you looked at it. He bit his finger, trying to hold back his tears. He didn’t want to die. He was afraid to die. It was too soon. And yet it was too late. There was no real reason to keep on living without Light. He closed his arms around his body, shaking. Why did it have to end like this? Why couldn’t they have some kind of happy ending? At least, just some kind of life together? He wanted to go against Light’s family to be with him. He wanted their love to show how strong it was – stronger than all their prejudices. And yet, here they were. Some tragic kind of Romeo and Juliet. He smiled despite himself when he thought about how similar the two of them were to the mythical couple.
“Ah, crap”, he said. “I’m crying now.”
Tears were streaming down his face. How could he have fallen in love with Light this way? He never thought this could happen, and yet… Yet here he was, counting minutes until his death. It would be quick, smooth and painless. He had made sure of it.
“I’m sorry, Light”, he whispered, “I couldn’t give you this. A painless death in my arms.”
No one knew. What they were to each other. No one. So of course, L couldn’t rush to Light’s side and hold him tight as he died, whispering soothing words. Hell, L couldn’t even cry. You don’t cry over the criminal that would have been condemned to death anyway.
They had orchestrated everything. They knew how it would end. To be honest, the only false note about all of this had been Ryuuk’s reaction. It should have been L, writing Light’s name on a piece of the Death Note. Anyway, it had the same result. And somehow, both of them were alone to die.
“You were such a drama queen”, L chuckled through his tears.
He leaned in his armchair and closed his eyes. There was no happily ever after for them.
Perhaps it’s better this way.