It happened often lately that Jeremiah couldn't find some restful sleep in the night. Since Libby's death he had nightmares, did wake up bathed in sweat. Then he could see her eyes, so wonderfully warm, brown eyes. Her soft lips. He could hear her voice, her laughter. He could feel her hands touching him softly.
He had been used to it to be a loner for so long. Kurdy was his partner, almost a friend. The other people in the Mountain, he respected most of them, some of them he did like. But he had never let someone deeper into his life. Until he had met Libby. She had been different, and she had pulled his heart out of the darkness back into the light in an instant.
„I love you,“ he had told her only some days before everything broke down. And she had kissed him and laughed.
He should have known better. Love in times like these was stupid because there couldn't be a happy end. Now she was gone, dead and buried, killed by a freak who insisted that God had told him that her death had been inevitable. Because she had lied without any remorse, had used all the people who had trusted her blind. She had been ready to betray everyone, also him, though she knew that this would mean the end of the Mountain, the death of hundreds of people. And that it would break his heart.
Jeremiah closed his eyes in the hopeless try to fall back into the comforting darkness where he didn't need to feel anything. But he knew this wouldn't happen. Never he would forget the moments of ultimate happiness he had felt in Libby's arms. And nothing could wipe out the strong pain of awareness that he would never feel that happy again.