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Before Nova Touhou Episode One: Is This Really What You Have Planned, Alice?!

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A prequel to Beyond Nova Touhou.


Before Nova Touhou: Episode One: Is This Really What You Have Planned, Alice?!

By Thedude3445


Several units of time measurement in the past, there were two magical females that lived in the land of Gensokyo. Their names were Marisa Kirisame and Alice Margatroid, and they were going on a date on this particular night.

There weren't many places to go on dates in Gensokyo, or at least ones that they could immediately think of, so they just went to McDonald's. Fortunately for them, in Gensokyo, McDonald's was extremely rare, so this was basically the same thing as eating at the fanciest restaurant ever.

Upon entering, it was instantly apparent that something was amiss. The entirety of the McDonald's was covered in Flandre Scarlet merchandise, and glowing lights were placed across the store in the same pattern as the immortal vampire's little wing whatever things.

“Yo Cashier Dude!” Marisa threw her broomstick at him (him is a pronoun referring to a Male; during this time they were a dying breed, and only two or three dozen still remained in Gensyoko. They are completely extinct today.) to alert him to their presence, since he (again, this word is a Male pronoun) was currently asleep.

The Cashier woke to a start and hastily welcomed his (yet another Male pronoun) guests to the McDonald's. “Hello, welcome to McDonald's! May I take your order?”

“Yeah you can!” Marisa shouted. “We've been waiting for you to get off your ass for like, three minutes already!”

Alice tugged at her arm and whispered, “Marisa, we don't want to cause another incident. It's alright.” She reluctantly calmed down, and the Cashier gave a sigh of relief.

“Okay then,” Marisa said. “I guess I'll have a number two, and Alice'll have... uhh...”

“A milkshake.” Of course she wanted a milkshake, Marisa thought. How somewhat related to her personality or something.

While the Cashier was off heating up their orders (even the milkshake???) (also, he seemed to be the only employee, for some reason), Alice and Marisa stared at each other, not really knowing what to say. Despite dating for like, six years, they still weren't particularly great at talking to each other, especially in awkward situations like waiting for food to arrive.

“I... uhh...” Marisa tried to say something, but she couldn't think of anything. They had already wasted their last conversational topic on the broom-ride over here, and even that was a kind of silly argument about the merits of cheescake and its importance in the Women's Rights movement (the one that was 100% successful and was now a synonym for the Human Rights movement).

“Aren't you wondering why this McDonald's is decorated like this?” Alice suddenly pondered. “It's not like you to ignore something so gaudy and tangentially related to a member of Your Harem.”

“...For the last time--” Marisa said angrily. “I don't have a harem! It's just you. Okay, I went on a date with Nitori once, but that doesn't even count! …And all that stuff with Reimu I GUESS, but that was so long ago that... Wait, did I date Flandre or not? I can't remember at this point.”

“You did.”

“Oh. Uhhh..... Yeah. This layout is really weird. Let's ask the Cashier about it when he gets back.”

“He?” Alice laughed a little. “Such a weird word.”

“Hey, if you recall, I actually had a dad,” Marisa informed. “Males haven't been endangered THAT long...”

“Uhhh.... What's a dad?” Alice was genuinely confused. But alas, Marisa didn't have time to explain such irrelevant things as a different gender. The cashier was back! He carried out one crappy-looking hamburger and a melted milkshake. Because food was so plentiful in Gensokyo and there were so many great chefs, crappy fast-food was considered a delicacy, and just seeing this McDonald's food was making Marisa salivate.

However, her insatiable hunger did not deter her from her main train of thought! “Thanks, but we were wondering what the deal is with all the Flandre Scarlet stuff here in the restaurant.”

“Oh, that,” the Cashier said. “Some Japanese guy on Nico Nico made this really cool video, and then suddenly McDonald's became affiliated with Death Waltz, one of the coolest pieces of music out there. Somehow, through a really long series of events, it was discovered that it was actually Flandre Sacrlet's theme song and this massive boost in her popularity led to a boost in our own traffic. So we licensed her likeness out to capitalize on her success as a Vampire Lordess Lady until some other magical girl becomes even more popular sometime in the next two or three years.”

“Gosh, I forgot about all that Ran Ran Ru stuff,” Alice said. “I wish my theme song was as popular as her's...”

“Maybe one day it will be,” Marisa said encouragingly as she took the food from the Cashier's hands and sat down at the stickiest table in the restaurant. Alice smiled, and sat down next to her. They quickly gulped down their respective foods, and spent most of the rest of the night trying to figure out a good topic to discuss. It had gone from just how many people Marisa had dated in the past to how useless death was in their universe, when there were so many ways to cheat it and overcome it, and then to awkward silence.

Marisa stared off into space, wondering where the playplace had gone since the remodeling, when suddenly Alice kissed her on the cheek. Her face reddened in a flash, and when she turned her eyes, Alice was off her seat, kneeling on the ground.

“Will you marry me, or at least perform whatever ritualistic bonds exist in Gensokyo that I may or may not actually know about that pertain to the union of two magical Females?” Alice requested in a long-winded fashion, due to no fault of her own, but the author's for not researching any before writing this.

Marisa tried to think of a response, but nothing came out. She actually couldn't decide whether to say yes or no... This question had been asked before by a couple of Marisa's past girlfriends. Okay, so just Nitoni, but she was pretty sure she was gonna ask Reimu to marry her before... the incident. But did Marisa even want to settle down with Alice, have kids, and all that typical family stuff? Hmm... Marisa moved her eyes back and forth, doing eenie-meenie-miney-moe, catching a tiger with her toe. When it hollered, she didn't let go, and she decided....

“Sure I guess.”

“Really?” Alice was completely awe-struck, as if that wasn't even the answer she expected. “I... I love you, Marisa.”

“I love you too, Alice. When's the wedding or whatever gonna be?”

“Hmmm....... I'll look at the calendar,” Alice said. Marisa was actually pretty okay with the turnout of her eenie-meenie-miney-moe; spending the rest of her life with Ms. Margatroid....  Future Mrs. Kirisame (which one would change their last name, anyway?) would be pretty cool. And it would be a story to remember, being proposed to at a date at McDonald's. An amazing one.


To be continued????