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Neptune Vasilias, Detective Second Class in the Vale police force, was sitting at his desk, writing a report on his piece-of-junk terminal, when his scroll buzzed in his pocket. He frowned. Who would be calling him on that? It took him a few moments to dig the thing out of his jacket pocket, and he half hoped they would give up. Most likely another one of those callbots calling him about the car accident he'd had up to five years ago that wasn't his fault. Except, Neptune didn't own a car, having been thoroughly sold on motorbikes years ago. He opened his scroll, preparing to tell some salesdroid to get lost and stay lost.


On the screen was a picture of a platinum blonde girl he'd had a massive crush on back in the day. With a sudden rush, he answered the call.

"Weiss? Hi!"

"Hello Neptune."

The voice sounded familiar, but somehow softer and friendlier than he remembered. And it still tugged at what was left of his heart.

"How are you, Weiss? How's Ruby?"

There was a bit of a loaded silence.

"She's... out. Slaying dragons."

"That sounds like her."

"And I'm not." Neptune imagined Weiss swallowing away something. "We're taking... a break," said Weiss.


"Weiss, I'm so sorry. Are you okay?"

"Oh yes, yes. I still love her, she still loves me. We just want to do, um, different things right now."

"Still after the Real White Fangers, is she?"

After the Battle of Beacon, Blake Belladonna had launched a massive campaign with her parents to bring the White Fang back to the Right Side. How successful it had been, was a matter of some debate. Small groups with a deep remaining hatred of all things Human had splintered off, and were making life difficult. These days, they were more an annoyance than anything else, but still, there was the occasional attack. Neptune knew all about them. Ruby Rose had a few very good reasons to hate them.

"So what are you doing these days?"

"I want to have a baby," said Weiss, like a stone dropped into a quiet pond.

Whoa! A long while ago, Weiss had told him that some time, she'd want to produce an heir of her own, but Neptune hadn't given it much thought at the time.

"It's a quiet time," said Weiss. "Grimm activity is at an all time low. Major enemies are hiding. If not now, then when?"

"And you told Ruby?"


"How'd she take it?"


"Oh. Ow."

"Oh, as you rightly say," said Weiss. "Ow."

"She doesn't want a child?"

On the other end of the connection, a world away, Weiss sighed.

"She's not against it, but she wants to solve the world's problems first."

"Which would take too long," said Neptune. "Biological clocks and all."


Neptune said nothing for a while. "I see," he added, finally.

"So. Ruby is out hunting terrorists, and I'm at home planning for an heir."

"You're going through with it?"

"Yes. And... um..." Weiss' voice wavered. "I wanted to ask you something. A favour. A big favour."

"Name it Weiss," said Neptune.

"I want to ask you for some, well, genetic material."


Neptune blinked. Realisation dawned.

"You want me to be the father?"

"Donor," said Weiss. "Not father. I wouldn't put that kind of load on you just because..."

"Um... When were you thinking of doing this?"

Weiss laughed nervously. "I've been tracking. I'm ovulating next week."

"Hmm..." Neptune grinned to himself. "Next week, I'm kinda busy. Can't you ovulate the week after?"

"You jerk! Do you realise how important this is to me?"

Well, this sounded more like the Weiss Neptune knew.

"I am defying my girlfriend of five years."


"I am putting myself completely at your mercy..."


"Do you even realise how long it's taken me to work up the courage even to ask you this? And you turn it into some..."

"Weiss! I'll do it!"

"... kind of stupid joke. Um. What?"

"I'll do it," said Neptune. "It's okay. I can get next week off."

"You will?"

"Yes, I will. My genetic material is going to waste anyway, I can spare you some if you have a good use for it."

Neptune listened carefully. On the other side of the Ocean, Weiss took a few deep breaths.

"You mean it?"


He couldn't hear it, but he almost thought he could hear the quietest, whispered 'Yes!'

"All right then. I'll arrange a flight for you, I'll send you the details. There's a few things you need to think about." With the big question answered, Weiss turned back into the efficient, businesslike woman who ran a sizable part of Schnee Dust Company. Neptune could almost imagine her crossing things off on a clipboard.

"First, health. I've had myself tested for all social diseases and viruses, and I've come up clean. When was your last physical?"

"Three weeks ago. Clean as a whistle."

"Right. If you could send me the results by email, that'd be great."

Neptune laughed. "You're going to ask me for a sample, aren't you?"

"Huh? Of course not. Sperm lasts only a few days at most. It'd be useless by the time it got here."

"Of course."

"I'll make an appointment for you in a Vale clinic. Are there any hereditary diseases in your family?"

"Apart from stupidity? Nope."

"Riiight... Do you have any medical evidence of that?"

Neptune stared at his scroll. "Uh... no."

"O... kay. Probably doesn't matter. Right. Next, if the child wishes to contact you when she's older, can she?"

"Of course she can," said Neptune. "I'll tell her all about her crazy mummy."

"Haha. Next, you will not have any parental rights or duties. For legal purposes, we never met."

"Oh, that's a bit harsh."

"That clause protects you and me both, Neptune. I won't be able to hit you up for child support if my family throws me out." She sniffed. "Again. And you won't be able to take her away from me."

"Wouldn't want to, Weiss."

There was a little pause on the other end. When she spoke again, Weiss' voice was soft, sad.

"People change, Neptune. Good fences make good neighbours. Oh. One more thing... no, on second thought, it doesn't matter. We can talk about it when you get here."

"Okay. So you send me a ticket?"

"Hang on." There were some terminal type noises on Weiss' end as she looked something up. "Even better. Can you get to the docks at Beacon this Friday?"


"Great. I'll send you the details when I get them. I think that's all for now. If you have any questions, just call."

"I will."

"And Neptune..."


"Thank you. Thank you so much."

"Anything for you, Weiss."


The connection dropped, and Neptune sat staring at his scroll for a long time. Well... time to get a couple of days off. That at least was pretty simple. Neptune swiveled his chair.


Sun Wukong, Once Neptune's team leader, now his boss as long as he didn't try actually giving orders, muted his phone.


"I'm off for a week from Friday."

"Oh? Doing what?"

"Remember Weiss Schnee?"

"Team RWBY member who's not the hottest woman in the world? Of course I do."

"Just had a call from her. She needs me for something."

"What would she want you for?"

Neptune grinned. "What would she want me for?"

"Hah! In your dreams, Humie!"

"Guilty as charged. Only one way to find out."

"Cool. Be gentle with her." He unmuted his phone. "Right. Sorry about that. Now you said she was carrying an umbrella?"


Winter Schnee's battle cruiser was no longer the top of the line, despite many upgrades to her weapons and C&C electronics. But since the Atlas military had gone for bigger and stronger rather than fast and deadly, she was still one of the fastest things in the Remnant sky. Of late, Winter had been mostly on Dragon Grimm pest control, not a job for the faint-hearted. She greeted Neptune as he came on board. The years had tried to be unkind to her and failed. Winter had been tempered in the fires of war until she was made of pure Atlesian steel. She was standing in front of Neptune, arms crossed, beautiful and terrible, looking down on him.

"What," she said, "are your intentions towards my sister?"

"My intentions are to put a baby inside her," said Neptune. "To continue the proud Schnee line."

Winter stared at Neptune. Neptune stared back. Then, at the same time, they burst into laughter. Winter held out her hand and Neptune shook it.

"How have you been, Mr. Vasilias?"

"Good. What can I say? Life. How about you?"

"I made Field-Marshal this year. Can't complain." She pulled out her scroll. "Take us out."

"You've earned it," said Neptune, as the cruiser pulled away from the dock.

"And now my little sister is going to produce an heir before I do."

They walked through the corridor to the bridge.

"Did you really want to?"

Winter shook her head. "No. I'm a ship's captain. Married to my ship as they say."

"I'm sure Qrow Branwen would be happy to help if you asked him."

Winter gave Neptune the evil eye. "I can still have you thrown out, you know."

Qrow Branwen was Ruby's uncle. He and Winter Schnee enjoyed the kind of relationship where they would meet, earnestly try to kill each other, and then just before the final stab or shot, fall into bed together. All those who knew them had given up trying to understand it.

"You're hot-racking with the day crew," said Winter. "Just put your things in one of the blue lockers."

That sounded a lot sleazier than it really was. It simply meant that Neptune would sleep in the same bed as one of the night shifters while they were up. Could be worse. In war times, it'd be four hours on, four hours off.

"Well, I've got a ship to run," said Winter. "Go find the galley if you're hungry. Oh and one more thing."


"Weiss has been planning this for well over a year now. You're going to make my little sister the happiest girl in the world. I appreciate it."

Neptune smiled. "She's a friend. If I can make her happy, why wouldn't I?"


Winter's cruiser pulled into the small dock at Schnee Manor. Winter had called ahead to tell her sister that the "package" was about to be delivered. Neptune had half expected to be dropped onto the roof, but Winter actually walked him to the gangplank. As the gangplank extended, Neptune noticed a figure standing on the dock. Small and white. Clean and bright. Winter smirked, grabbed Neptune's shirt collar, and pushed him down the gangplank.

"Hello Weiss," she said. "Here's your new sex slave. Will this be satisfactory?"

"A fine specimen," said Weiss. She opened her arms and hugged Winter. "So good to see you."

"I can't stay," said Winter. She held Weiss' shoulders, looked at her. "Are you sure you want to do this?"

Weiss beamed. "Yes. Yes I am."

Winter nodded at Neptune. "With him?"

Weiss turned her eyes to Neptune. "Yes."

Neptune gave Weiss a thumbs-up. "At your service Milady."

Weiss leapt at Neptune, held him close. He looked down on her hair, still with that quirky off-center ponytail. Well, she seemed happy to meet him. She'd never been this touchy-feely back at Beacon, but then, she'd been Ruby's girlfriend for years. Ruby Rose was hugs incarnate.


They waved and watched Winter's cruiser take off, tail banners extended, for the harsh mountains of Atlas where Draco Glaciendis still plotted the downfall of Remnant. Weiss turned to Neptune.

"Are you hungry?"

"Could do with something to eat."

"I'll have Klein bring us something."

The dining room was massive, with a dining table that went on for miles and could seat the whole of Atlas' rich and powerful. Neptune pulled out a chair for Weiss at one end of the table, then ran to the other end, cackling with laughter, and sat down. Weiss laughed, shook her head.

"Get over here, you idiot!"

Neptune got up, walked the mile back to Weiss' end of the table, sat down. His knee brushed Weiss' and she looked up at him, shifted slightly to break the contact. Klein Sieben, the Schnee family butler, came in carrying a tray with a tureen of soup, two bowls, and a basket of bread rolls. As Neptune watched, Klein put down two napkins, carefully put spoons and butter knives on them, followed by two gold-edged porcelain bowls bearing the Schnee family snow flake emblem. Klein took the lid off the tureen, and standing behind them, first filled Weiss' bowl, then Neptune's. Finally, he put the lid back on the tureen, and nodded at them in turn.

"Enjoy, Milady. Sir."

Neptune was not used to being waited on like this. Food, in the Vasilias household, arrived in plastic dishes to be put into a water-wave oven and consumed in front of the television. To be honest, it freaked him out a bit. Neptune was an egalitarian at heart, and to divide the world into People and Servants went against his principles. Of course, as a cop, he was sworn to protect and serve the citizens of Vale, but that servitude included occasionally hitting them over the head if they didn't behave.

Weiss tore up a bread roll, dipped it into her soup, and bit into it. Neptune had some of his soup. It was some kind of beef and vegetable soup, and very good. He looked at Weiss.

"So. How do we do this? You give me a cup and a naughty picture of you and I disappear for a bit?"

Weiss laughed, a bit nervously. She closed her eyes a moment, took a breath, then looked into his eyes.

"Neptune, I want to ask you something, and if you say no, then sure, that's how we'll do it. But if you want to... if you are..." Weiss looked away for a second, then back into his eyes. "I'd like to do this the natural way."

"Uh..." said Neptune. Never short a snappy answer. "The natural way?"

Weiss looked away, her cheeks maybe a touch darker than normal.


"I mean... you mean... you and me... in... bed?"


"Why? You're into girls. Why would you put yourself through this if you don't have to?"

Weiss put down her spoon, put her elbows on the table, hands folded. She looked out of the window. Then she turned to Neptune, eyes steady.

"Look around you. Everything you see is artificial. The old-world decor stops one inch in, and then it's all bomb-proof concrete. Everything from the room we're in, the food we're eating, to the clothes I'm wearing, even me. I am artificial."

"Eh? You're not going to tell me you're an android are you?"

Weiss chuckled. "Salutations flesh-being! No. I am flesh and blood, but I am carefully selected, manufactured, nurtured flesh and blood. My mother provided the optimal egg. The best sperm was selected from my father's... product. All to ensure the purity of the Schnee blood line. And the traditional Schnee Glyph Semblance, mustn't forget. I didn't come as a lovely surprise to my mother. They knew exactly how I'd turn out. Everything. Down to my eye colour, hair colour, size. They knew I'd be a girl before I was even conceived. Neptune, I am a designer baby." She put her hand on Neptune's arm. "I don't want a designer baby. I don't want a perfect baby, I want a perfect stranger, one I can get to know like I got to know you, and Ruby, and Blake, and... everyone. Do you understand? I want my child to be random. Free to become whatever she wants to be. As for the breathless sweaty parts... I'll put up with that, because it's part of the package. The fun, the feelings... everything. Who knows? I might even enjoy it. I definitely want you to enjoy it. That'll add to the baby's character. Do you understand?"

Neptune looked at Weiss for a long moment, taking this all in. Then he took her hand between his.

"Weiss, you really need to work on your pickup lines. A simple 'Hey Neptune? Wanna fuck?' That would have worked just as well."

Weiss smiled at Neptune, eyes suddenly shiny. She sniffed once.

"Hey Neptune?"


"Wanna fuck?"

Neptune grinned. "Absolutely."


Klein came and took away the bowls. Neptune wanted to hand him his bowl, but Klein politely asked him not to trouble himself, young Sir. He watched Klein walk out of the room. Weiss had an amused look in her eyes.

"You're not really used to butlers, are you?"

"Only in murder cases," said Neptune. He pointed over his shoulder and whispered. "Does he know why I'm here?"

Weiss leaned over and whispered back. "He's a butler. He knows everything. He knows when to put a packet of tampons on my nightstand. Even before I do myself." She sat up. "Which hopefully will not be for another nine months. Are you good to go?"

Neptune nodded, got up, and followed Weiss through long hallways. Schnee Manor was enormous. Weiss looked over her shoulder, held out her hand. Neptune took it and they walked up the stairs. Neptune was grinning to himself.

"What?" said Weiss.

"I've forgotten to bring my rubbers."

Weiss looked ahead of her and snorted with laughter. Her eyes grew large and innocent.

"Doctor, I don't understand! We have been trying for months and still I'm not pregnant! What could it be?"

Both howling with laughter at a joke that would never win any comedy awards, they walked up to Weiss' bedroom.


The door closed behind them. Neptune looked round. Weiss' bedroom was larger than his whole apartment, but most of the space was empty, for Weiss to practice her summonings and glyphs. The stained glass windows turned the sunlight into a range of blues. They had heavy shutters, presumably to protect them from the fallout of Weiss' Semblance. Neptune's gaze returned to Weiss standing in front of him, looking up at him, biting her lip. She took a deep breath, and turned round, looking over her shoulder.

"Unzip me, please?"

"O... kay," said Neptune. He shouldn't be this nervous. He'd swept girls off their feet, scattering their clothes to the four winds, crashing into bed with them. Good times. He took a hold of Weiss' dress, pulled down the zipper. "There."

"Thankyou," said Weiss. She shrugged. The dress fell to the ground, and she turned towards him.

Neptune stopped breathing. He couldn't stop looking at her. Everything about her was... perfect. Long supple legs, muscled thighs, a small white shining piercing in her belly button. Small, firm breasts. A little blush on her cheeks. A nagging voice in the back of his head remarked that this was the best body that money could buy, but he told it to shut up. The most beautiful girl he'd ever known was now the most beautiful woman he'd ever known.

Weiss looked at her feet. "Um... I don't know all that much about boys, I must admit, but don't you at least have to unzip your pants?"

"Uhh... yes of.. of course." He started to take of his clothes, with Weiss watching him. He dropped the last of his clothes onto the floor, and they stood still for a few moments.

"Umm..." Weiss swallowed. "I've read that it's best if I orgasm just a little bit before you do... if you don't mind..."

Neptune reached out, gently brushed her cheek with the back of his fingers.

"Weiss. Don't worry. I've got you. I know how to treat a woman."

"So do I," said Weiss, with a giggle.

They stood still for a few moments, looking at each other.

"Do we kiss now?"

"Oh absolutely!"


Neptune had forgotten how good a kisser Weiss was. He'd expected her skin to be cool. He'd expected her to be cool. She wasn't. Weiss held on to him, pressing her naked body against him. Her kisses were slow, deliberate, hot, her lips slightly parted, with only the tiniest touch of her tongue against his. He wanted it to go on forever, hoped that he was giving her back as good as he was getting. She slowly opened her eyes, smiled at him lazily. Nodded her head towards the bed.

Oh gods yes!

She got under the covers, and he joined her there, looking into her eyes. He tried touching her shoulder, for a start. She pushed his hand to her breast.

All right then.

Weiss' breast fitted easily in Neptune's hand. He gently pushed her onto her back. He kissed her lips again, but quickly. Then, he moved his lips to her neck, her collarbone, between her breasts. Weiss closed her eyes, lay back on the pillow. Neptune gently pulled at her nipple, first with his lips, then as her nipple hardened, with his teeth. He listened carefully to Weiss' breath, deep sighs, little gasps. He looked at her face as he slowly ran his hand over her stomach, pulled away the covers, traced slow wet kisses from between her breasts down. He looked up at her with one eye.

"Oh yes," she whispered. Laughed quietly as his tongue played with her navel piercing.

Who would she be thinking of? Him, or one of the girls she'd been with? Ruby? Or maybe a girl she'd wanted to be with, but never got the chance? Weiss looked down at him, smiled. She put her hand on the top of his head, ran her fingers through his blue hair. Not pushing, just... suggesting. Neptune moved his lips down, to the soft trim triangle of thick white hair. He looked at the lips, the thin slit in between. He could hear Weiss take a deep breath. Being a trained singer, her breasts didn't move, but her stomach did. He touched his tongue to the bottom of Weiss' slit, moved it up. She exhaled sharply. Moving slowly, Neptune continued to run his tongue over her lower lips, now and then pushing between them, now and then sucking on sensitive places. Weiss didn't cry out, only gasped. She pushed herself up, urgently. More. Neptune slowly ran his hands from her hips up to her breasts, played with her hard nipples. He looked down and saw her skin wet, glistening in the soft bluish light of the room. He moved back up to her, feeling her hard nipples in the palms of his hands.

"Ohw," said Weiss, a tiny, disappointed noise. She opened her eyes, looked at him.

"Ready?" said Neptune.

Weiss nodded. "Oh. Wait."

She grabbed one of the pillows, put it under her hips for the perfect angle of entry and flow.

"Ready," she said. "Umm... do you need any, uh, help to get ready?"

Neptune rolled over. "Why don't you find out for yourself?"

Weiss gave him a look, then ran her hand down his stomach.


"I assume that means you're ready," she said.

"Does Milady approve?"

"Milady does."

Neptune moved up between Weiss' legs. He reached down, almost but not quite touched the head of his cock to Weiss' entrance. He looked into her eyes.

"Last chance to change your mind."

Weiss put her hands on his cheeks, breathed in.

"Do it."


Without another word, Neptune pushed forward. The first thing he noticed was how tight she was. How her insides gripped him as he entered her, carefully, so as not to hurt her. Weiss finally gave a long slow groan. Her hands moved to his back, then down to his butt, pulling him into her.

Oh gods did it feel good.

Neptune closed his eyes, concentrated on the feeling, her slick warmth round him. Her thighs, gripping him. Her fingernails digging into him. He looked at her face, looking up at the ceiling. He'd given her enough of a headstart going down on her, hadn't he? He could just let go for a while.

"Neptune?" Weiss' breath came in shallow gasps. "If you want to... go a bit faster... I won't mind."

Neptune put his hands on Weiss' cheeks, kissed her.

"Weiss? The words are Fuck Me Harder."

Weiss laughed, wild. Her eyes bored into his. Her hands grabbed his butt with a slap.

"Hey Vasilias?" She pushed her hips up to him. "Fuck me harder!"

They fucked harder, looking into each other's eyes, seeing the pure unmixed lust growing. Neptune could hardly believe it, how Weiss of all people could be so... She gave a high-pitched yell, and her whole body tightened up against him, pushing against him with all her strength. Neptune stopped holding back. He gripped Weiss' shoulders and pushed, slammed into her, only vaguely aware of her voice, only feeling, until his own orgasm hit, and she held onto him tightly.

"Give it to me. Give it to me!"

Neptune pushed as hard as he could, emptying himself into her. Then, the sudden release, the lazy, satisfied glow. He looked at Weiss, at the wild smile on her face, fighting for breath. He tried to roll off her so she could breathe more easily, but she held on to him for a few more deep breaths, then relaxed back into the pillows with a deep sigh. She looked at him, laughed, pure happiness.

"I could feel that," she said. "I could feel that going in. Oh gods, I hope it worked."

Neptune looked at her, drinking in her expression. She grabbed his face, suddenly, and kissed him.

"Thank you," she whispered. "Thank you so much."

Neptune stroked her hair.

"You're welcome," he said.


"So." Neptune looked at Weiss, still lying on her back, eyes closed, willing the little Neptunes to swim upstream. "Was that okay for you? I mean, it's not what you normally do. With a boy, I mean."

Weiss opened her eyes. "That was exactly what I wanted." She stroked Neptune's cheek. "I may not have wanted this for the same reason I'd want a girl, but still. This is what I wanted."


Weiss chuckled, drunk with the experience. "No matter how wild Ruby gets, she can't get me pregnant."

"Ruby? Wild?"

"Oh yes. Sweet, young, innocent if a little psychopathic, chaste, pure Ruby. Until you get her clothes off. Then she's a dirty girl. Hmm..."

"I'll take your word for it."

"You'd better. This..." Weiss waved a hand at the bed, their naked bodies, everything. "This is the same, but it's different. I want a child. I really want a baby. You are giving me the chance to have that wish. You have no idea how much it means to me." Weiss looked into Neptune's eyes, and only now realised what he'd probably meant. "And yes. Yes, you made me feel good. Nice tongue work. You haven't quite sold me on man-flesh, but don't let that stop you."

Neptune noticed that Weiss' hand had crept up the inside of his thigh, and her fingers were slowly stroking his balls. He could feel himself grow hard again. Weiss turned towards him with a filthy grin on her face.

"Anything left in there?"

"I think so," said Neptune.

"Good. Give me what you have."


Neptune sat at his terminal, reading reports. He was finding it hard to concentrate. It had been frankly amazing. Weiss seemed to think that if she wanted to partake of his genetic material, the least she could do was make sure he'd enjoy it. And boy, had he enjoyed it. She didn't have to do it. He'd have been perfectly willing to do his business in a cup and hand it to her. It didn't even have to be a picture of Weiss. The latest Pumpkin Pete cereal girl would have done nicely. But she'd insisted. If Ruby Rose just walked away from her, she didn't know how good she had it. Still, it was over and done with now, with nothing left but the good memories.

His scroll buzzed, and played a melody he'd picked specifically for Weiss. He answered it.

"Hey Weiss!"

"Hi Neptune." Her voice sounded dull. "It didn't work. Got my period this morning."

"Oh Weiss. I'm so sorry."

"It's to be expected," said Weiss. "Can't expect it to happen on the first try. So. Um. Would you...?"

"Back to the ovaries?"

Weiss laughed wryly. "Basically. If you're up for it?"

"Of course," said Neptune.

"Don't worry about taking time off. I'll come to you this time. Twelve days from now. For four days."

"Okay. Ping me when you're here, and I'll pick you up from the docks. And... Weiss?"


"We'll do this. It'll work. In the end."

Weiss sighed. "Thank you. I really appreciate it."

Weiss dropped the call.


That meant a few things. First, he was going to get a visitor. That meant tidying up the place. It was a girl, so that meant also washing and changing the sheets. And finally...

He was going to have lots more sex with the most beautiful woman in the world.

Neptune sneered. While that was far, far from a bad thing, they weren't just doing this for fun. He'd have to put his best leg forward.

That afternoon, he picked a healthy salad for lunch.


Neptune stood at the docks, at ease, hands behind his back, and watched the airship sail in. He saw a small figure get off, wearing a blue dress, bag on one shoulder, and her sword on a strap over the other. Weiss never travelled without her rapier. He waved, and she came towards him. He took her bag from her, put it over his shoulder. She smiled at him, and he couldn't have stopped himself smiling back id he'd wanted to.

"Ready for round two?" she said.

"Been saving up all week," he said.


They walked back in the general direction of Vale. Weiss nudged him.

"I've been sitting in a stuffy airship all day. Can we take a walk? Get some fresh non-recycled air?"

"Sure," said Neptune. He thought a moment. "How's the Amity Coliseum sound?"



The Amity Coliseum was the scene of the start of the Battle of Beacon. It was where Pyrrha Nikos had been tricked into killing her opponent in the tournament. It had been where public outrage had been caused, drawing in the Grimm by the thousands. After the battle, as part of the cleanup, the Amity Coliseum had been put down a little way away from the City. All the engines and equipment had been removed. Soil had been brought in and grass sowed. In the very middle of the arena, overlooked by the seats, was a tomb. It was large, rectangular, made of marble. In the lid was carved only a single name.


Weiss and Neptune stood in front of the tomb. They were among the few people who knew that the tomb was empty. Head Master Ozpin's body lay buried, not in this tomb, but in the deep vault underneath Beacon Academy, together with that of the unfortunate Fall Maiden Amber, Cinder Fall's arrow probably still in her chest. As for Ozpin's soul, as he was a descendant of the Wizard of the Maidens, it had fled his dying body, and found a new refuge in a young farm boy named Oscar, who had gone on to do great things. With time, Ozpin and Oscar had melded together, until their old head master was truly gone, dissolved into a new person.

Neptune looked round. They had the place to themselves. Nobody came here, because there were many dark memories attached to this place. He looked at Weiss.

"Do you remember?"

"Oh yes. Nevermores and Griffins and Ursai, oh my."

"There's nobody left here," said Neptune.

"We're all alone," said Weiss. She looked up at Neptune, a little twinkle in her eyes.

"Nobody can see us," said Neptune, not sure if Weiss was saying what he was hearing.

"Out of earshot too," said Weiss. "So wonderfully quiet. Can't hear the city noises at all."

They started to grin. Weiss looked up at the place where once the announcers had been.

"I'm going to tell you a secret," said Weiss. "I was going to surprise you with it when we got home, but I think I'll tell you now."

"Oh? A nice surprise?"

"I think you'll like it," said Weiss.

"Hm? What is it?"

"I'm not wearing any underwear," said Weiss. "No bra. No panties."

"Oh, I find that hard to believe," said Neptune.

Weiss bent forward and leaned her elbows on the tomb.

"Why don't you find out if it's true?"

Neptune took one last look round, then pulled up Weiss' dress.

"I humbly apologise," said Neptune. "You were telling the truth."

"Told you."

"Your butt looks tense," said Neptune. "Let me massage it."


Neptune ran his hands over Weiss' bottom.

"Nice," she said. "I have been sitting on it all day." She opened her legs a bit so Neptune could reach other areas in need of massaging.

Neptune bent over her so he could whisper in her ear. "One of us is getting wet."

"Is the other of us getting hard?"


"Fuck me already. Babies don't make themselves, you know?"

Neptune laughed, unbuttoned his pants. He rubbed his hard-on up against her, then pushed inside. Weiss threw her head back, and quiet as she'd been in the privacy of her own manor, here she decided to be loud.

First, it nearly gave him a heart attack.

Then, it turned him on like nothing else in the world.

He took a firm grip on her hips, and pushed into her hard. In the beginning he'd been afraid Weiss might not like that, being used to soft, small, gentle hands, lips and tongues. She'd showed him one or two of her toys. One white, one fire engine red.

She could take it.

Half way through, Weiss decided she wanted to look into his eyes when he came. Neptune whipped off his coat, spread it out on the tomb, lifted Weiss onto the coat. He hooked her knees behind his elbows. Weiss gripped the edge of the tomb. She grinned.

"Who of us tells Oscar?"

Neptune pushed hard. "None... of... his... fucking... business!"

Having your orgasm at the exact same time as your partner is vastly overrated. Not worth trying for. Ladies first, if there is a choice. On that occasion, though, they absolutely nailed it. They looked at each other, laughing like kids, both enjoying a few nice aftershocks. Neptune slowly pulled out, mustn't spill. Weiss dropped her legs to the ground. She reached out, grabbed Neptune's shirt, pulled him closer, and kissed him. They slowly caught their breath, composed themselves. Weiss put her arms round Neptune, rubbed her cheek against his chest.

"Even if this one doesn't stick," she said, "if Snowdrop asks, this is where I'm going to say we made her."


They went to Neptune's place, showered, had sex, showered again, went to a nice little noodle place for dinner, skipped dessert, went home, had sex again. Children don't appreciate all the hard work that goes into making them. Honestly. If it wasn't so much fun, nobody would be making babies at all.

Neptune held Weiss in one arm, ran one finger over the scar on her forehead and cheek.

"You could have had that taken care of," he said. "But you chose not to, didn't you?"

"Goes well with the ponytail," said Weiss. "I'm a non-conformist designer baby. The nightmare of any parent."

"Your parents had it all worked out," he said. "Did they know you'd turn out a rebel?"

"Nope," said Weiss. "Had me all set on the railroad to becoming the Cruel and Evil Overlady of SDC. And Winter before me. She defected to the Army. I defected to Beacon. I think after that, they gave up on female CEOs."

"And yet, here you are. On the Board of Directors. They going to be okay with you being off for a few months?"

"They had better be," said Weiss. "Whitley's offered to take up the slack when my waters break."

"Nice of him," said Neptune. How that little shit had actually managed to evolve into a fairly decent human being was one of the great wonders of this age.

Weiss nudged him. "One more round? Or wait till tomorrow? Either's fine by me."

"I think I need my beauty sleep," said Neptune.

Weiss snuggled up closer.

"Wimp," she said, closed her eyes, and fell asleep.


Neptune walked into the station, hung up his wet coat, turned on his terminal. Hey, there was an email from SDC's Cruel and Evil Overlady. He opened it. There was not a single word, just a picture. It was some sort of display. On the display were two lines...


His scroll buzzed, and he answered it almost without looking away from the screen.


"Hello Weiss," said Neptune. "Sup?"

"You did get my email, didn't you?"

"Hang on. Just starting up the terminal. How are you? What's the weather like in Atlas? Cold?"

"Oh you jerk! You did get my email, didn't you?"

Neptune laughed. "Congratulations, Weiss."

"Oh gods. Remember, you are the only one to know, but I had to tell someone. This is Week Two. Don't tell anyone until Week Twelve."

"I'll leave the telling to you. Donor, not daddy, remember?"

Weiss breathed down the line. "Yes. Yes of course."

"I'm very happy for you, Weiss. All the best wishes."

"Thanks. Oh, and Neptune?"


"Thank you. Thank you for doing this. You are the only one I could have asked."

"My pleasure," said Neptune.

The connection dropped, and Neptune sat looking at his scroll for a long few moments. Well, there was only one possible thing to do in this situation. He turned his chair round and pulled the monkey tail of the person peacefully asleep in the other chair.


"You. Me. Drinks. Now."

Sun scratched his head, got to his feet.

"Sure. What's the occasion?"

"I'm thirsty."

Sun Wukong reached for his coat.

"Sounds good to me."


"Miss Rose has returned, Milady."

"Thank you, Klein," said Weiss. She didn't turn away from the window.

"She seems rather... agitated, Milady."

"It's called Attention Deficit Hyperactive Syndrome, Klein."

"Indeed, Mila-"


"Here she is, Milady."

"Thank you, Klein."

"Don't you 'Thank you Klein' me! What the hell do you think you are doing! When were you thinking of telling me this?"

"Hello Ruby."

Ruby blew clouds of smoke out of her ears.

"What do you think you were doing, keeping this from me?"

"I did try to contact you earlier. Really I did."

"I was undercover! You can't just take calls from your Huntress girlfriend when you're in a Mistrali bandit tribe!"

"Well," said Weiss, "there you have it."

"Do you really mean to tell me that even with the full might of Schnee Dust Company's detective agencies, it took you ten months to find me?"

"You were very well hidden," said Weiss. She turned back to the window, bent down, and picked up something, very carefully.

"I wasn't invisible! You could have found me! And instead you go and have..."

Weiss turned round.

Ruby's silvery eyes turned grew large as saucers, and her voice turned to a hoarse whisper.

"... an adorable little baby girl. Oh my... Oh Weiss..." She looked up. "Can I...?"

"Of course you can," said Weiss. "Your hand goes under the head."

The little girl's head was in Ruby's rough hand, her legs almost reached her elbow.

"She's so... perfect."

Weiss leaned on Ruby's shoulder. "No she's not. She's perfectly imperfect."

Ruby looked up at Weiss.

"Who's the father?"

Weiss smiled, took a deep breath.

"You are," she said.

Ruby studied Weiss' face carefully. She knew better than to press Weiss for things that she really didn't want to say. She squinted.

"Your boobs have grown bigger."

"That's been known to happen when you're lactating."

"Lactating." Ruby's smile slowly grew bigger. "Ooo. Can I..."

"Absolutely not," said Weiss. "That's for Snowdrop. When she's on solids, it's your turn again."

Ruby looked at the tiny human in her arm.

"She's beautiful."

Weiss leaned in against Ruby's shoulder, turned her face towards herself, kissed her.

"Yes she is."