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Covalent - Well, That Was Pointless.

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-- undyingUmbrage [uu] started trolling centaursTesticle [CT] --

uu: WHAT THE FuCK IS uP. WITH THIS CHAT CLIENT.
uu: TROLLING IS FOR LOSERS. WHERE IS THE JEERING OPTION.
CT: D --> I beg your pardon
CT: D --> Who the heck are you and why are you on my chumproll in the first place with your l00dicrous and despicable hemoanonymity
uu: I COuLD ASK YOu THE EXACT SAME FuCKING THING.
uu: BuT I WON'T. BECAuSE I'M NOT A DuMBASS.
uu: AND I ALREADY ASKED DIRK WHO THE FuCK YOu WERE. AND WHY YOu WERE ON MY CHuMPROLL.
CT: D --> Why are you then
CT: D --> Ah, let me hazard a guess
uu: GAME SHENANIGANS.
CT: D --> Game shenanigans
uu: WHY ARE YOu REPEATING WHAT I JuST SAID. ARE YOu THAT STuPID. TOO STuPID FOR ORIGINAL THOuGHT?
CT: D --> I was not
CT: D --> We merely came to the same conclusion at the same time and you happened not to have to type up a bow first
uu: OH. IT'S A BOW.
uu: I THOuGHT IT MIGHT BE YOuR TROLLISH PENIS.
uu: DIRK uSED TO DRAW STRANGE NONSENSICAL THINGS LIKE THAT. WHEN HE THOuGHT I WASN'T WATCHING.
uu: FOOL. I AM ALWAYS WATCHING.
CT: D --> What is a penis
CT: D --> No, it does not matter, no doubt it is silly and irrelevant
CT: D --> Why have you contacted me
uu: DIRK PROMISED. THAT HE WOuLD TALK TO ME JuST AS LONG. AS I TALKED TO OTHER PEOPLE. WHO WERE NOT MY COW OF A SISTER.
uu: I THINK YOu WILL FIND. THAT I EXCEL IN THE ARTS OF CIVILIZED CONVERSATION.
CT: D --> I fail to see why you sh00ld engage in them with me
uu: YOu WERE THE LEAST OFFENSIVE. ON ACCOuNT OF MY NOT KNOWING YOu.
uu: ALSO THE ONLY ONE ONLINE. WHO WAS NOT A HIDEOuS SHADE OF GREEN.
uu: SO.
uu: WHAT IS IT LIKE. BEING uGLY. AND A TROLL. WITH FREAKISH BLuE BLOOD.
CT: D --> Ah, yes
CT: D --> I find the fog of sleepiness lifted at last
CT: D --> You are the shrill and puny larval form of our enemy
uu: EXCuSE YOu.
CT: D --> A being so petty he sought to break everything he could not own
CT: D --> Admirable trait in a troll
uu: I AM NATuRALLY ADMIRABLE. AND GLORIOuS.
CT: D --> If one isn't a grote%e mutant-blooded mistake of course
uu: WAIT. I AM NOT. A FuCKING TROLL AT ALL!
CT: D --> You might not have been hatched one
CT: D --> But denial will get you nowhere
CT: D --> It is what you are now
CT: D --> A low, wretched excuse for a troll, but a troll all the same
CT: D --> The swill in your veins is what it is, but so is its vessel
CT: D --> Throwing tantrums about it will not change the truth of it
uu: I AM NOT. A TROLL.
CT: D --> You are indeed a troll
uu: NO.
CT: D --> Yes
uu: NO.
CT: D --> Yes
uu: FuCKING NO.
CT: D --> Fu
CT: D --> Fudging yes
uu: NO!!
CT: D --> Yes
uu: I AM. NOT. A MOTHERFuCKING TROLL!!!
CT: D --> You are
CT: D --> You possess gray skin and horns on a trolloid body shape
CT: D --> Your body is that of a granted rather diminutive male of the troll species
CT: D --> You are a troll
CT: D --> You would do best to a%ept it
uu: NO I WOuLD NOT!!!
CT: D --> Yes
uu: THIS IS STuPID.
CT: D --> Yes
uu: NO!
CT: D --> I was agreeing with you about the idiocy of this futile e%ercise
uu: OH.
uu: WELL. GOOD.
CT: D --> Good
CT: D --> If there is no other conversation you wish to have I will go back to sleep
uu: WAIT.
CT: D --> Why
uu: BECAuSE. I COMMAND IT.
CT: D --> You are an abomination
CT: D --> Why sh00ld you get to command me
uu: BECAuSE I AM YOuR OBVIOuS SuPERIOR IN ALL THINGS. IS WHY.
uu: AND THAT OTHER ABOMINATION COMMANDS YOu JuST FINE. HYPOCRITE.
CT: D --> What
uu: THAT SCRAWNY. SHOuTY ASSHOLE. WITH THE ALMOST TOLERABLE HORNS.
CT: D --> You refer to Vantas and his borderline lack of such I presume
uu: SEE. YOu ARE NOT INCuRABLY STuPID.
uu: JuST MOSTLY SO.
CT: D --> Vantas is indeed an abomination
CT: D --> A remarkably
CT: D --> Forceful one
CT: D --> Your STRENGTH of personality might be a match
CT: D --> Your loudness and lewdness certainly are
CT: D --> Those are not the same things
uu: WHAT THE SHIT DO YOu EVEN MEAN.
CT: D --> That Vantas has proved himself worthy as a leader
CT: D --> And that you have not
CT: D --> Though you certainly have proved yourself as our enemy
CT: D --> I am willing to reserve judgment mostly so long as you keep your distances and do not force me to acknowledge your repulsive e%istence
CT: D --> Am I making myself clear
uu: WHY SHOuLD I CARE. WHAT YOu'RE WILLING TO RESERVE OR NOT.
uu: YOu HAVE OBVOuSLY NEVER BEEN SuBJECTED TO MY MASTERFuL LEADERSHIP.
uu: YOu WILL LEARN.
CT: D --> Are you suggesting that it is in any way a possibility that I will one day be working under you
uu: SEE. INTELLIGENCE. SOME OF IT.
uu: I WILL ONE DAY HAVE MY CLAWED FOOT ON YOuR STuPID NECK. IT IS PuRE FACT.
uu: YOu MIGHT BE ALIVE TO SERVE ME. OR YOu MIGHT BE AN uGLY MANGLED CORPSE.
CT: D --> Is this a quadrant solicitation
uu: A WHAT.
CT: D --> Never mind
uu: I AM VERY GENEROuS. SO I WON'T.
uu: NOW WHERE WERE WE.
uu: KEEP LISTENING TO ME. SO THAT I MAY FORCE DIRK TO LISTEN TO ME LATER. HE PROMISED ME THAT LONG.
CT: D --> Has it occurred to you that I might simply decide to log out, and there is nothing you may do to stop me
uu: NO!
uu: YOu OWE ME FOR BEING THE MOST BORING IDIOT I EVER TYPED AT.
CT: D --> May I suggest you try your luck with someone else
CT: D --> Maryam for example is still awake at this ungodly hour and is generally of a pleasant, patient disposition
CT: D --> You should be in possession of her trolltag
CT: D --> It is grimAu%iliatri%
uu: THERE IS NO ONE CALLED THAT IN MY LIST.
CT: D --> Can you not read a simple substitution quirk
CT: D --> She is the one situated between arsenicCatnip (who you shan't contact ever) and gallowsCalibrator
uu: OH.
uu: FuCK NO! I AM SO DONE WITH GREEN BITCHES.
uu: AND BITCHES IN GENERAL. BuT ESPECIALLY GREEN ONES. THEY'RE THE CRAZIEST.
CT: D --> You have already e%perienced the threat of her chainsaw then
CT: D --> A pity
uu: NO I HAVE NOT.
CT: D --> Yes you have
uu: NO.
CT: D --> Yes
uu: NO.
CT: D --> Yes
uu: THIS THING YOU DO WITH YOuR POSTS REALLY DOES RESEMBLE A HuMAN PENIS.
uu: ALSO, NO.
CT: D --> What on Alternia is a penis
CT: D --> Also yes
uu: I DON'T KNOW. ASK DIRK. IT HAD A TON OF OTHER STuPID NAMES BuT FuCK IF I CAN REMEMBER THEM ALL.
CT: D --> More alien nonsense no doubt
CT: D --> E%tremely irrelevant nowadays, so I shan't bother a%ing
CT: D --> I am going back to sleep
uu:  NO YOU FuCKING AREN'T.
uu: YOu SHOuLD BE PATHETICALLY GRATEFuL THAT I AM PAYING ATTENTION TO YOu AT ALL.
uu: AND NOT EVEN IN A PARTICuLARLY MuRDEROuS WAY. YET.
CT: D --> It has come to my mind that you might perhaps be practicing your caliginous flirting
CT: D --> Is that what you are doing
CT: D --> This is vile
CT: D --> I order you to stop
uu: MY WHAT.
CT: D --> Your
CT: D --> Urgh
CT: D --> Concupiscent hate flirting
uu: WHAT THE FuCK IS A CONCuPISCENT.
CT: D --> Vile se%ual desires
CT: D --> Replace the % with the appropriate %-looking letter
uu: WHAT??
uu: NO!
uu: FUCK NO, THAT IS DISGuSTING. I HATE YOu HARDLY AT ALL.
CT: D --> That is not reassuring
uu: I DON'T EVEN WANT TO WASTE MuCH TIME ON YOUR MuRDER YET.
uu: JuST MAYBE A COuPLE OF KICKS TO YOuR CORPSE AFTERWARDS. THAT IS THE uPPER LIMIT.
CT: D --> That is slightly better
uu: WHO WOuLD WANT TO DO THOSE.
uu: THINGS.
uu: IN THIS BODY ANYWAYS??
uu: MY FAT BITCH OF A SISTER TOLD ME. TROLLS DON'T HAVE A MATING FORM. AND HAVE THEIR LEWD PARTS ALWAYS OuT AND READY. THAT IS REVOLTING TO THE MAXIMuM. WHO WOuLD EVER SPARE A THOuGHT TO THOSE GROTESQuE SHENANIGANS??
CT: D --> It occurs to me your age might not quite correspond to that of the rest of our cohort
CT: D --> I admit the topic is indecorous to the e%treme but your rea%ion seems to me quite impasture
CT: D --> I meant immature
CT: D --> Apologies, this topic is quite flustering
uu: IT IS NOT IMMA FuCKING TuRE TO NOT WANT TO WONDER. HOW TROLLS EVEN KNOW WHICH IS THE LOSER, BEARING MATE OF THE TWO. WHEN MY COW OF A SISTER MAKES ME READ uPSETTING STORIES WHERE FuCKING ROXY AND DIRK. DO **BOTH AT ONCE.**
CT: D --> Fudge darn it
CT: D --> I do not have enough towels in the whole hive for this

-- centaursTesticle [CT] stopped trolling undyingUmbrage [uu] --

uu: HEY.
uu: YOu COME BACK RIGHT THIS INSTANT.
uu: WE HAVE NOT SPENT EVEN HALF ENOuGH TIME BONDING TOGETHER.
uu: I ORDER YOu TO GET YOUR GROSS TROLL FACE BACK ON THE COMPuTER RIGHT NOW.
CT: D --> Discourse with you feels like being inappropriately accosted by the ghost of a five sweeps old Vantas
uu: WHAT.
CT: D --> A less verbose, less all-encompassingly domineering ghost to boot
CT: D --> I order you never to contact me again
CT: D --> Or at least to complete the appropriate biology module first
uu: I ORDER YOU TO STOP ORDERING ME AND TO OBEY MY PREVIOuS ORDER.
uu: OR I WILL MuRDER YOu.
uu: PLATONICALLY!!
CT: D --> I am sure you are engaging in no denial whatsoever
CT: D --> Somehow it is of no help when it comes to swallowing this conversation

-- centaursTesticle [CT] blocked undyingUmbrage [uu] --

uu: HEY! THAT'S CHEATING.

--

-- arsenicCatnip [AC] started trolling undyingUmbrage [uu] --

AC: :33 < hi cattyporn!!
AC: :33 < whoops. i meant cattyborn.
uu: ARE YOu ANOTHER GREEN BITCH.
uu: GO AWAY.
AC: :33 < *the kitty ignores the grumpy troll and finds a good spot to curl up on*
AC: :33 < *she licks her paw disdainfurly and says, haha nope! i heard a kitten n33ded a crash course on two-legged hornbeast repurroduction*
AC: :33 < *also she wants to make her furiend the sunset-maned hoofbeast happy, and she knows that so does the grumpy grub over here, no matter how much he grumps rudely about it!*
uu: ARE YOu TALKING ABOuT ME.
uu: I WANT NO SuCH THING.
uu: WHY ARE YOu REFERRING TO ME AS A HOOFBEAST. WHAT EVEN IS A HOOFBEAST.
AC: :33 < dirk is the hoofbeast, dummy! calleopard told me you've been stalking him for SW33PS and you don't even know he likes horses? that's not furry observant ://
uu: OH. RIGHT. HE HAD THAT WEIRD TINY HORSE. I NEVER THOuGHT ABOuT IT.
AC: :33 < maybe you *should* think more about it if you want to get anywhere! i don't think you can really care, but at least try to think of it as tactical infurmation.
AC: :33 < nyow i am going to explain all about repurroduction to you!
uu: OH FuCK NO.
AC: :33 < oh fuck y33ssss.
uu: I WILL CHEW OFF MY TYPING HANDS. AND ESCAPE.
AC: :33 < *the kitty grins and her tongue lolls out*
AC: :33 < and after that just to make dirk happy let's have a long nice talk about gr33n bitches and why you shouldn't threaten their moirails if you plan on sl33ping with both eyes closed efur again.