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Girl Of My Dreams

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Lil BUB was dreaming. In her dream, she was piloting a hot-air balloon over the surface of Bub Ub Bub, her home planet. She stared out across the familiar sky and the familiar brown plains along the shore of the Sea of a Million Fishes. Lil BUB liked getting to travel all over the Earth, and she liked her dude, but sometimes when she thought about everything she missed on Bub Ub Bub she felt sad.

Suddenly, a face appeared next to her! The face was connected to a body, but it was so big that even when the body stood on the ground, the face was level with BUB in her hot-air balloon. It was SUE, the Tyrannosaur, who BUB had met at the Field Museum in Chicago!

"Hi, Lil BUB," said SUE.

"WHOA," said BUB, and jumped, but it was impolite to act scared of someone who had come to visit you in your dreams, so then she said "Hi, SUE! Welcome to my dream sequence."

"You go to so much trouble visiting thousands of people in their dreams every night, just to make them happy, that I thought it was time somebody visited you in your dreams," explained SUE.

"Do you really eat cats?" BUB asked in a small voice.

SUE winked at her. A bare skull shouldn't have been able to wink, but SUE managed somehow. "Only in the fun way," they said. "And only if they ask nicely!"

"Oh," said BUB.

"Besides," said SUE, "I bet you would eat dinosaur if you could get it! I saw you eying my relatives at the Field Museum."

BUB thought about this. "Only very small dinosaurs like the ones that live outside my dude's window," she said. Those ones looked yummy. SUE looked delicious too, but in a completely different way. "I think you would be too big for me to eat up."

"Well, you would be too small for me to bother to eat up," said SUE. "But you're just the right size for me to eat with."

"Would you like to go out to dinner with me?" Bub asked after a minute.

"Sure!" said SUE.

Luckily, the hot air balloon was just then floating up outside a little café in Tiny Tongue Town. SUE used their itty-bitty arms to tether the hot-air balloon to the restaurant's awning and then lifted BUB down to a table. SUE's arm-bones weren't quite as comfortable as her dude's, but they were still just right to drape herself over. The table had a red-checked tablecloth on it, and a candle in the middle. Bub looked up at SUE while she settled herself on her haunches across the table.

"Table for two, I take it?" said the waitperson. Zie had worked a twelve-hour shift that day, waited for the bus home in the rain, and then fallen asleep looking at pictures of BUB on zie's laptop. Zie really deserved better than to be dreaming about work. BUB figured it was the least she could do to pay zie a visit.

"Yes," said BUB. "I would like FISHES. With YOGURT."

"I'll have fish bones," said SUE. "And also yogurt. That sounds like a good combination."

"I once met another space and time traveler who really liked fish sticks and custard," said BUB. "But I like whole fish and yogurt better." Then she squeezed her eyes shut and squonked with embarrassment. Whenever she met someone she really wanted to impress, she got nervous and just started name-dropping! Good job, BUB. She hoped SUE would ignore that. At this rate she would wind up asking if SUE owned a hot air balloon! She looked up and SUE was looking down at her with their skull tilted and that nice smile they had with all the teeth.

"Here are your fishes and yogurt," said the waitperson.

"Thank you!" said BUB. SUE said thank you, too. SUE had a pile of fish bones almost as big as their head. BUB figured that must look really yummy if you were a giant T. rex skeleton, but she thought her nice meaty fish was yummier. For awhile they were too busy eating to say anything, but then it got awkward. BUB thought you were probably supposed to talk on a date.

"You have nice legs," she said all of a sudden. "And perfect bone structure."

SUE dropped the fish bone they were eating and swished their tail shyly. "Do you think so?"

"Yes!" said BUB.

"I don't really have perfect bones, you know," they said. They gestured at their ribcage. "I broke my fibula and it healed wrong, with too much bone, so I can't walk as well as I used to. And some of my tail vertebrae are fused because of a joint disease. And my skull..." They tried to hide their face in her hands, but their arms were too small, so they held out their fingers instead. "And my finger-bones are all weird because of gout. It's very nice of you to say my bones are perfect but they're not really."

"They are perfect," said BUB. "You are perfect."

"Do you really think that?" said SUE.

"Of course!" said BUB.

"I like your bones too," said SUE. "I saw your X-Rays in your movie. You have nice curves. And your bones are so big and strong!"

BUB did hide her face under her paws. "Do you really think so?"

"You're perfect, BUB," said SUE.

Well, of course she was. BUB already knew that. But she never thought somebody as amazing as SUE would say it to her.

"You two are too cute together," said the waitperson. "I just want to sit here and watch you be adorable forever, but I have to wake up soon to catch the early bus, so I brought you your bill." Zie put it on the table.

"I have to wake up soon too," said BUB. "I think my dude will be getting home." She psychically signed the bill and added her Bub Ub Bub credit number, leaving a nice big tip for the waitperson.

"I had a really nice time," said SUE, getting up and starting to untie BUB's hot-air balloon.

"Yes!" said BUB. "We should do this again."

"Definitely." SUE winked at her again. "I'll be in your dreams whenever you want me there, BUB."

BUB squonked.