The truth is that Frank finds Mikey’s older brother annoying. It’s not something he would ever admit out loud, and it really sucks because Mikey is Frank’s best friend. But Gerard is just… weird.
The best solution would be if Frank could simply avoid Gerard completely. That’s why he tends to always invite Mikey over to his house or suggest that they go do things at a third location like going to the movies or the comic book store. The third location never really works, though, because Mikey will inevitably ask if Gerard can come with them and since Frank isn’t a douche bag, of course he can’t say no. A couple of times Frank has tried inviting Mikey to do things that he knows Gerard won’t have any interest in, like bowling and miniature golf. The problem is that he and Mikey don’t really have any interest in those things, either, and it turned out to just be kind of … boring.
Mikey doesn’t ask to bring Gerard over to Frank’s house, thank goodness, but hanging out at Frank’s house is less than stellar. The problem is that Frank doesn’t have an Xbox (because his mom says video games will rot his brain) and they only have one computer and it’s in the living room (so his mom can monitor his internet activity) and Frank doesn’t have a TV in his room (his mom says if he wants one in his room so badly, he can buy it himself once he turns 16). So going to Frank’s house isn’t really a great option if they want to find stuff to do for more than like, an hour.
So avoiding Gerard is basically impossible, and lately it feels like Gerard is around more than ever. Last year was better because Gerard was away at college a lot of the time. Frank had hoped that maybe Gerard would get a job this summer or do something, anything, to get him out of the basement so he wouldn’t be around so much. No luck, though. Gerard’s taking a couple of elective art classes at the community college, but that’s it. Other than the two afternoons a week when he goes to class, he’s home All. The. Time. And, of course, Mikey being the awesome younger brother that he is, Gerard is always invited along for whatever he and Frank are doing.
It’s odd, though, because Frank feels like he has a lot of memories of what Gerard was like when he was in high school, and those memories aren’t exactly matching up with how Gerard is now.
For one thing, Gerard looks different. He was always pretty greasy and gross in high school, and he still is, but… it’s different now. He’s let his hair grow out and started dying it black, so the greasiness actually looks sort of badass and not so much like Gerard is just a lazy pig. Gerard’s thinned out a lot since he went to college, too. He’s done some kind of backward freshman fifteen thing where he’s lost that much weight instead of gaining it and suddenly he has cheekbones. Frank is honestly kind of freaked out right now that he’s noticing fucking cheekbones. What fourteen-year-old dude notices cheekbones? Frank’s realized for a little while that he likes guys in not such a platonic way – it’s much more of an ‘I wanna stick my tongue in your mouth and my hand down your pants’ sort of way – but he didn’t think he was gay like the dudes on TV who make a big deal about cheekbones, and notice the way that clothes fit (Gerard has been wearing his tighter lately and it’s doing him kind of a lot of favors), and think about things like lip color… Gerard’s are this amazing dark pink color… He keeps licking his lips and it’s seriously distracting Frank from the movie they’re supposed to be watching right now.
It’s something with zombies and lots of blood… Frank doesn’t really know. He’s hardly even looked at the screen since it started. Mostly he’s been looking at Gerard’s fingers. He’s sketching with charcoal again. He’s been doing that a lot this summer. It stains his fingers, so they’re always a bit grey at the tips around his nails that he’s bitten down to the quick. Frank used to find that habit so disgusting but now… Frank shakes his head and grabs another beer from Gerard’s stash. He hasn’t had that much to drink yet, but he kind of wants to blame his weird wandering thoughts on the alcohol.
As Frank watches Gerard draw, he thinks about other ways that Gerard has changed since high school. The way he acts about his art is one thing that’s totally different. It used to be this big secret thing that Gerard always acted super dramatic about, like it was a matter of life and death. Most of his stuff he would only show to Mikey. He would draw things to show people if they asked him for something specific, but that was about it. He’s way more chill about it now. Frank was stunned the first time he came over after school ended and Gerard immediately offered to show him what he was working on. It was a badass painting of a wolf. Frank kind of loves it. It’s propped up on Gerard’s dresser now. Frank thinks it would make an awesome tattoo.
The movie ends and Frank can’t believe how much time has gone by. He goes for a swig of his beer only to find that it’s already empty. How did that happen? Mikey notices and hands him another one. Frank focuses back in and realizes Mikey and Gerard are having one of their super serious discussions. It’s about zombies, of course. That’s another thing Frank adds to his mental list of reasons why Gerard is not as annoying as he used to be. Gerard’s always been a talker. He has lots of ideas and Opinions about many subjects. Frank kind of remembers his rants as being super annoying, though. Gerard would go on and on about social justice and oppression and to be quite honest, it simply bored the shit out of Frank. Mikey would sit and listen and nod and act as if Gerard was the wisest person he’d ever known. Mostly Frank would just try not fall asleep as he sat there thinking about how much he’d rather be playing video games or getting high.
It’s different now. Frank stares at his half empty beer as he listens. Gerard’s explaining how zombies are really a metaphor for the feeble-brained masses of people doing whatever society and the media tell them to. It makes a lot of sense to Frank. Maybe Gerard is just more articulate than he used to be…. Or maybe it’s something else. Maybe it’s Frank…
Frank notices that Gerard has stopped talking and is looking at him kind of funny. Frank’s probably been staring and didn’t even realize it. He looks away and quickly guzzles down what’s left of his beer. Gerard starts talking again, but he’s cut off when Mikey’s phone buzzes with a text message. As soon as Frank sees the disgusting grin on Mikey’s face, he knows the message is from Pete. Fucking Pete Wentz. Mikey’s had a crush on the dude since seventh grade and that’s never bothered Frank at all, but about a month ago Mikey finally got up the nerve to talk to Pete at a local band showcase they all went to. Mikey and Pete exchanged numbers and the rest is history.
Pete fucking Wentz is the reason why Frank’s been spending more time alone than normal this summer, and he has a sinking feeling, as Mikey goes to reply, that he is about to be left alone again, but this time, with Gerard.
“So Pete’s gonna pick me up,” Mikey mumbles. Gerard groans and rolls his eyes. Frank’s never agreed so hard with Gerard. Mikey shrugs, “Oh come on, Gee, you know how it is.” Mikey glances at Frank for some reason and then goes on to have one of his and Gerard’s silent eyebrow conversations.
Eventually Gerard sighs and waves his hand, shooing Mikey up the stairs. “Whatever, go on. Have fun.”
Frank gives Mikey a seriously evil look as he turns to walk out, but Mikey just murmurs, “Whatever, you’ll forgive me later,” and walks up the stairs without looking back.
Frank really hates how true that is. He surprises himself then by saying out loud, “I don’t get it.” He thinks he must be drunk. When he’s sober he only really talks to Gerard if Gerard’s asked him a question or if Frank really needs something from him.
“Hmmm.” Gerard’s eyes are heavy-lidded. He’s obviously more than half-drunk, too. He perks up a bit, eyes brightening as he asks, “What don’t you get?”
“Just-” Frank waves a hand, agitated now. “Mikey and Pete.” The alcohol is definitely affecting him, because suddenly Frank feels like venting. To Gerard. “I mean, it isn’t that there’s anything wrong with Pete. I guess he’s okay to look at, but Mikey acts like he’s the coolest dude on earth just because he already has a car and that stupid tattoo.”
“I don’t know.” Gerard scratches his head, thinking for a moment. “I guess the excitement over the car is really the convenience factor. It’s nice dating someone who can pick you up whenever they want.” Frank isn’t able to stop himself from making an exaggerated gagging sound when Gerard says “dating”. That makes Gerard smile, his eyes crinkling up at the corners. Frank suddenly feels hot for no real reason. He pulls off his hoodie and realizes his cheeks feel flushed. Definitely drunk. “And you have to admit,” Gerard continues, “Finding a way to get an underage tattoo is pretty badass. I know how hot you are to get ink of your own. Maybe there’s a little jealousy there.”
“Fuck you,” Frank spits out.
Gerard just laughs. “Could be jealousy over more than just ink actually. It really sucks when your best friend starts dating before you. Same thing happened to me when Ray and Christa started dating.”
Frank cocks his head to the side. Could this be real? Is Gerard Way actually able to relate to something Frank is going through? How odd. Frank shrugs it off. He’s still mad and the conversation isn’t helping. “Whatever. I could never get away with getting a tattoo before I’m eighteen anyway. My mom would find out for sure and skin me alive.”
Gerard nods. “Definitely true.” He turns his head to the side for a few seconds and gives Frank a considering look. It makes Frank feel exposed, and somehow excited at the same time. When Frank can’t take the intensity of the gaze any longer, he looks away and coughs awkwardly. “Anyway, it’s just a crush,” Gerard says casually. “I mean, maybe it’s turning into more, but… didn’t you ever have a crush on anybody Frank?”
“I don’t know.” Things are starting to feel fuzzy. Frank shakes his head a little bit to clear it. “Maybe.” Frank spits out, “Let’s watch another movie,” somehow suddenly desperate to change the subject. He has no idea why he feels so uncomfortable. Obviously part of it’s just from being left alone with Gerard, that’s always made him feel uncomfortable, but there’s something else, too. Frank’s skin feels too tight, like it doesn’t fit him right. It’s weird.
Gerard gets up to put on another movie. He bends over to rummage through all the DVDs Mikey got out earlier. Frank isn’t blind, so he can’t help but notice Gerard’s ass in the tight, black jeans he’s wearing. Frank decides he must be going crazy… that’s the only explanation, because his dick fucking jumps right up and takes notice while Frank’s zeroing on Gerard’s ass. What the actual fuck is going on? Frank sits up on the bed and pulls a pillow into his lap, willing his ridiculous dick to fucking relax already. He tells it nothing is going on. There’s no reason to be excited.
Gerard finally picks a DVD and comes back to sit on the bed next to Frank. He sits so close that they’re touching all along their sides and Frank’s dick jumps again. Frank pushes the pillow harder into his lap and stares at the TV screen, very intentionally not looking at Gerard.
The movie starts and it’s obvious within the first couple of scenes that it’s going to be pretty dumb. It’s about an invincible mass-murderer and the people are all doing the absolute worst possible things from the very start, like running upstairs when they should be running out the door and screaming when they should be quiet. Frank and Gerard start yelling at the screen, telling the people what idiots they are. Gerard makes a lot of hilarious comments and Frank can’t stop laughing. Frank figures Gerard’s movie-mocking wit comes from his steady diet of MST3K when he was in high school.
Frank quiets down and manages to stop laughing when there’s a sex scene. Then his stupid dick gets confused again and Frank doesn’t know what to do. Part of him feels like he should get up and say he needs to go to the bathroom or something, but that would be totally pathetic. He’d be outing himself a hormonal adolescent who pops wood from a sex scene in a stupid horror movie. He can’t do that, so he tries to just sit completely still. When the girl in the movie bites at the guy’s lip, a small sound escapes Frank’s throat. He tries to cover it up by coughing, but it’s too late. Gerard’s already turned to look at him. He’s got that heavy-lidded eye thing going again and he’s raising an eyebrow. Frank shrugs, “It just doesn’t look sexy. I mean, I think it would hurt to have someone bite my lip. It’s seems unrealistic.” Frank rolls his eyes and hopes Gerard can’t tell that he’s lying, or worse, thinks that he’s just an immature kid because he doesn’t know how awesome lip biting is.
Gerard grabs the remote to pause the movie and turns toward Frank. “It feels really good, though, if the person does it right.” Gerard licks his lips and Frank sucks in a breath. Of course Gerard knows about kissing. Yeah, maybe he didn’t get laid at all in high school, but he’s been away at college for a year, at Art School for fuck’s sake. Who knows what kind of freaky sex stuff he’s experimented with.
Frank doesn’t know what to say and he cringes at himself when, “I guess I wouldn’t know,” slips out.
Gerard smiles softly. “That’s okay, Frankie. I’d never kissed anyone when I was fourteen either. I didn’t know anything.”
“I didn’t say that,” Frank immediately retorts. He isn’t going to let Gerard pity him. That is totally not on. “I didn’t say I hadn’t kissed anyone. I’m just not into biting, that’s all.”
“Ah, okay.” Gerard looks at him silently for a few seconds. It’s almost like he’s staring Frank down. Frank doesn’t blink, determined to stand his ground and not let Gerard think of him as a dumb kid. Frank’s concentrating so hard on not backing off that he doesn’t even notice it as Gerard brings his fingers up to Frank’s face and gently sweeps them across Frank’s lips. It’s the strangest thing Frank’s ever felt. It feels like Gerard’s fingertips are electrified or something. A shiver shoots down Frank’s spine at the touch. It’s totally bizarre because Frank touches his own lips all the time, like to put on chapstick and stuff and it’s never felt anything like it does when Gerard touches them. Frank’s head is totally fuzzy. He’s still stuck on the chapstick thought when Gerard leans in and kisses him.
Gerard kisses him.
Frank’s dick has never been so hard in his life and all he can think is, “oh,” because he should be upset. He should be pushing Gerard away and yelling at him and finally telling him out loud that he’s gross and annoying and weird, but he’s not. Instead, Frank is pushing his hands up under Gerard’s shirt, desperate to feel his skin. It’s hot and slightly damp and that should gross Frank out, right? But it doesn’t. Gerard smells like sweat and stale beer and sauce from the pizza they had for dinner. It’s a disgusting combination and something is seriously wrong with Frank because that smell is turning him on even more.
Frank feels Gerard’s tongue pushing at his lips and it takes him an embarrassingly long amount of time to catch on and finally open his fucking mouth. When he does, he freezes because he doesn’t know this part. French kissing is a whole new ballgame for him and to be honest the idea of it has always grossed him out in the past. This is not gross, though.
This is not gross, this is amazing. Frank forgets to be nervous after about two seconds because Gerard obviously knows what he’s doing. Frank relaxes into the kiss and decides to just go along for the ride.
Gerard has one hand tangled up in Frank’s hair and the other wrapped tightly around Frank’s back when he finally pulls out of the kiss. He stares at Frank until his eyes clear a bit and he gets a wicked grin on his face. Frank realizes what Gerard’s about to do and opens his mouth to say something, but it’s too late. Gerard leans in and bites down on Frank’s bottom lip, not hard at all. It’s gentle, but just enough pressure so that Frank can feel it. He can feel Gerard’s teeth. It should feel weird or painful, but it doesn’t. Gerard tugs the tiniest bit before letting go and pulling back to give Frank a questioning look.
Frank stares at Gerard’s lips for a few seconds before swallowing and saying, “I change my mind.”
“Oh?” Gerard raises that damned eyebrow again.
Frank nods slowly. “Yeah. I think I actually do like the biting thing after all.”
Gerard smirks at Frank and it’s adorable. “Is that so?”
“It is.” Frank smirks back before continuing, “But just to be sure, maybe we should try it again, or even a couple more times.”
Gerard laughs and says, “I think I can handle that,” before closing the distance between them and covering Frank’s mouth with his own.
As he basks in the feeling of Gerard exploring the inside of his mouth with his tongue, Frank can’t seem to remember why he ever thought that Gerard Way was annoying.