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[Correspondence between Edgar Allan Poe and Louisa May Alcott, date unknown. Presumed before the author joins the Guild.]

Ms Alcott.

Madam,

                I write to you in the most humblest of manner. I know that my position and reputation within the society right now is the most unfavorable nor the most desired right now but I ask of you to cast away any prejudice that you may have with my person right now. I understand that I am asking things that I dare not ask after my blunder in that one duel I have participated (and if you, Miss Alcott, do not know about this particular incident then I beg of you to not trouble yourself with that business.)

                I also have heard of your paranoia with unknown people reaching out to you (in which I understand as well, although perhaps yours is at a higher level than mine) and therefore I ought to inform you that we are not strangers, although you might have forgotten me. We have met at one of the noisy extravagance that sir F. Scott Fitzgerald likes to throw. I have your address as we had shared correspondence one time, if you can remember.

                I am not asking for a lot, I know this must seem scummy as I am at this moment the very definition of a desperate writer but I have no one but this correspondence. My friends, editor, and everything have left me. My brother has long left this world as have my parents and they have not left me a single penny. My funds that I have saved up after all these years were taken for their farewell from this world. My sister is in University and is unable to help me.

                It is taking all of my pride as I write this. I ask for your financial assistance in this trying times and in exchange, I would offer you my editing and writing experience as well?

Yr. Most Obt. Servt

Edgar A. Poe

***

Sir Poe,

                It has been too long for our last correspondence but I assure you, I still remember your letter and your fancy script-writing. I daresay it must be fancier than mine, perhaps became fancier since the last time I saw it. You have not to worry about any letter you send me but only the contents of your letter.

                I have heard of the incident, regrettably. It is floating around the writing circle I am in, unfortunately, and if I can say I am quite disappointed in how people are quick to dismiss you. You are not anything but a good mystery author, sire. Why should one lose define you? Trust that the incident have casted you out does not change my perception of your writing.

                In that, I would be glad to help you financially at least until your reputation amongst publishers will be remedied however I have a better suggestion if you would like to hear?

                You might have heard that I work for Sir F. Scott Fitzgerald nowadays and even if his loud extravagance might be a bit too much he is a kind and generous employer, in my honest opinion. He would be glad to offer you a job as he had heard of your ability. I apologize; you have confided your ability to me in hopes that I will not tell anyone but my employer has his way to find about these things.

Yours,

Lousia May Alcott

***

Dear Ms,

                While I am a bit disappointed that you have gave away my secret (I have told you that in confidence Madam, I thought that you would have understood how we Ability users are always exploited in this capitalist world). Your employer is much too generous.

                I would have to think about it before I accept anything.

Yours &c

Edgar A. Poe

***

Dear Sir,

                We will be awaiting your reply, though my employer would want to stress the fact the if you join the Guild (our organization), it would be easier for you to exact your revenge on the detective that have defeated you.

                I do not know if that is in your mind but he told me to tell you this. The Guild has resources for you to use and of course a very hefty paycheck. I understand that Rosalie has trouble paying her university bills and you only would like to help her? Flexible hours too as you will be working in the same department as me and at most you’d only have to write one or two books every two months.

                Or so sir F. Scott Fitzgerald tells me.

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott

***

[Letter from Rosalie Mackenzie Poe to Edgar Allan Poe, April 10 2016. Presumed five years after the author joins the Guild.]

Dearest Brother,

                It has been five years since we have last spoke or shared letters and I apologize for that. University life has been very taxing for me. It wormed into my life and did not give me any chance to contact nor send you a letter. I apologize for that.

                I greatly am thankful for helping me pay out my debt to the university. I appreciate what you have done for me all these years. I know that the incident five years ago hurt your reputation so  I understand how hard it must have been to support yourself as you support me.

                I ask for you, dear brother, how have you been? It has been five years since we have last talked. I do not know how you are, I don’t even know if you’re well! I only know you are alive as with the checks you have sent me.

                It is also my fault that we have not been in touch, I admit but how about you? What were you doing the past five years?

                Bah! Whatever you have been doing, dear brother, I am not in the position to ask you about it. I only ask that you are doing well. I cannot bear to lose another brother. I do hope you are alive and is still at this address or else I’ll feel very silly.

                If you read this, perhaps attend my graduation? Full honors, dear brother. It is on May twelve, if you are free. Or if you are busy, at least try write back to me. Thank you.

Yours affectionately,

Rosalie M. Poe

***

[Text from F. Scott Fitzgerald to Edgar Allan Poe, April 11 2016, 9 pm]

Attend your sister’s graduation.

You’ll be free to go on that day.

***

  [Letter from Rosalie Mackenzie Poe to Edgar Allan Poe, May 12 2016]

Dearest Brother,

                You are busy, huh? Not even a single letter.

                I appreciate the flowers though. They are lovely.

                Please be safe.

Yours affectionately,

Rosalie M. Poe

***

[Letter from Louisa May Alcott to Edgar Allan Poe, May 15 2016]

Dear Sir,

                Scott Fitzgerald is quite disappointed in you. I do not understand why but he just stormed into my room and frowned at me before storming out. I distinctly remember hearing him mumble about your name and so.

                Do realized and understand that I think he is starting to see you as some sort of a ward. It is funny, but he has lost a child so I suppose it is understandable.

                On another note, would you be free this Thursday for tea? It is been a long time since we had a chat and you ought to take a break from your revenge plans. I think you are getting too obsessive about it sir.

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott

***

[Letter from Louisa May Alcott to Edgar Allan Poe, May 17 2016]

Dear Sir,

                I worry. I expected for you to decline but I did not expect for no answer at all. Rosalie would be worried.

                You are obsessed over this detective? Remember the mythos of Icarus. Your obsessiveness might lead to your destruction in the end.

                Take care of yourself sir. We will meet again soon as F. Scott Fitzgerald will be moving soon. He might take us with him—ah, no. He will take us with him.

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott

***

[Letter from Louisa May Alcott to Edgar Allan Poe, May 20 2016]

Dear Sir,

                I was wrong on my assumption. Apologies.

                However, I will be calling in that favor you promised me? I think I can call it or else I will feel embarrassed in my assumption. Remember when you told me you would give me your expertise on writing or editing sometimes? I’m afraid I have caught a snag in my writing and I need a second opinion.

                Enclosed in this letter are a couple of pages that I feel are… Unnatural. I would be glad to hear your thought on it.

Yours, Louisa May Alcott

***

[Excerpted writing enclosed within Louisa May Alcott’s letter]

(…) And Jo was wondering as she wandered down the streets of New York. Was she to find her purpose in life? All her sisters were either married or had a successful career with the exception of Amy. However she was a teen model so she was somewhat also already employed.

Jo sighed as she looked at the blue skyline of New York.

In this ever moving world she was still as stationary as ever, unchanging. Stagnant.

She was losing.

(…)

***

[Letter from Edgar Allan Poe to Louisa May Alcott, May 24 2016]

Dear Ms,

                My apology for the late reply Madam. I have just received the both of your letters right now, perhaps there is something wrong with the mail service you are using? I have letters on time but not yours.

                I do not have a clue on why Sir Fitzgerald might be disappointed in me. I think it was my not taking a day off he has ‘graciously’ given me. I regret not taking it but I have my pride and reputation to repair so for the mean time I will not be taking any ‘day offs’. Can you please pass on the message? I am a bit too intimidated.

                How is the front there, however?

(…)

                As for your writing, it is amazing as ever however I feel like there is a message you are subtly sending me. Dear Miss Alcott, you may be a writer but subtly is not your middle name.  Your concern for my well-being is appreciated but I get enough of it from Rosalie, which is doing well I assure you.

                There are a few areas where the wording is slightly awkward and off. A quick read through of it and you will find what I am talking about. It is still quite good though, is this the next installment of you Little Woman series? I am excited to read more of Jo though my favorite character is Beth.

                Have you heard what the masses are doing with your fictional sisters though? It is the most happiest thing. I think you would take some pleasure from it.

                (…)

                I will be out of touch in the next few days. I think I am nearing a breakthrough with my mystery writing and ability use.

Yours &c.

Edgar A. Poe

***

[Letter from Louisa May Alcott to Edgar Allan Poe, May 26 2016]

Dear Sir,

                You are far too paranoid. This is not my intention at all.

                Good luck with your writing.

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott

P.S I do know what the masses are doing to my sisters! I am glad they see themselves so much with my characters.

***

[Letter from F. Scott Fitzgerald to Edgar Allan Poe, January 1 2017]

Happy New Years!

I do not know why you writers prefer this type of communication when texting and e-mailing exist but, you no longer reply to my texts nor answer my call. Did you block me from your phone?

BAH! I am only here to tell you to get ready. You will come down to the mansion by next week, I expect.

-Fitzgerald

***

[Letter from Louisa May Alcott to Edgar Allan Poe, January 1 2017]

Dear Sir,

                 Happy New Years! I hope the festivities did not tire you as they did to me.

                 It is exciting in the mansion of Fitzgerald. I think he is close to getting through a breakthrough as you have. As it is exciting, it is also a bit frightening. I have long known that the Guild is quite not operating under legal ways but that does not mean I am okay with that. There is a job for kidnapping a man with the ability of a tiger that Fitzgerald sent out. If it fails we will have to go with him.

                 I think Fitzgerald will finally call you down to the mansion. I think you will get along with Sir Nathaniel Hawthorne; the two of you seem similar to me. He is a pastor if you must know, I distinctly remember you telling me about a mass service in one of your letter to me last year and I think it would please you to know there is another religious person in the Guild.                                                                                                             

                 There are a lot of odd figures in the Guild. Most are after a paycheck but I like to think they’re also loyal to it.

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott

***

[Letter from Rosalie Mackenzie Poe to Edgar Allan Poe, January 1 2017]

Dearest Brother,

                 I know I will not be able to get a reply. I have made peace with that. That does not mean, however, that I will give up. I will keep on trying; my only desire for this New Year is to start up a correspondence with you once again.

                 I have dearly missed you brother. You are still alive as evidenced by Miss Alcott’s letter to me, but I feel as if you are dead. I feel as if I have lost a brother. I don’t—I don’t care about your reputation, forgive me for being selfish. I just care about having my brother back.

                 Happy New Years. Do take care of yourself.

Yours affectionately,

Rosalie M Poe

***

[‘University of Virginia Writers. Where are they now?’, an article for the online zine of University of Virginia accessed by Edgar Allan Poe, January 2 2017]

  1. Edgar Allan Poe

Perhaps popular for his works with his beloved quiet inspector C. Augustine Dupine and the one who was said to rival even Sir Arthur Conan Doyle and his Sherlock Holmes, Edgar Allan Poe has been away from the public eye for a few years now.

Ever since his defeat with the tiny no-name detective from Japan, the author has been laying low for the past six years. Close sources say that almost all mystery publishers and writer has exiled him for this blunder and we only hope this is not true.

If you wish to read about Edgar Allan Poe’s charming C. Augustine Dupin and his vibrant adventures then click here to purchase the complete set.

***

 [Correspondence between Edgar Allan Poe and Louisa May Alcott, dated January 15 to January 19, 2017]

Sir,

                 I understand that you are an introvert, and I understand that as I am also one. However, this is far too ridiculous! I only see you out of your room whenever you are to visit me for tea or for meal times (and often times you do not even show up!). It is like living with a ghost! Most of The Guild members aren’t even convinced that you exist.

                 This letter serves to remind you that you are human too, and even if you are an introvert, you cannot live alone! As the popular saying goes: No man is an island.

                 I hope to see you outside frequently or else I will sic Sir Fitzgerald on you.

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott

***

Madam,

                 I see where you are getting at but I am close to a breakthrough. I am close to discouering the perfect mystery and I do not haue time to ‘socialize’ with otlners. This behavior is not because I am an ;introvert’ as you put, but simply because I am too busy.

                 Forgive me fr any erroors tlnat may be in this letter. I am far too tired.

Yours,

Edgar A. Poe

P.S. PLEASE do not sic Sir Fitzerald on me, I ann too tired.

***

Sir,

                  I am only worried. I hope you understand. I mourn the loss of your fancy script-writing. You are confusing your u’s with your v’s and you h’s are becoming like l’s and n’s!

                 If you are not too socialize with us, then at least get some rest.  I will not sic sir Fitzgerald on you because you have asked so kindly but I swear to the gods above that if I go to your room and see you frantically typing on your typewriter like your editor is out for your blood then I will do so!

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott.

P.S. Happy Birthday. You are twenty-six on January 19th, if I am not mistaken? We are getting old!

***

[Letter from Rosalie Mackenzie Poe to Edgar Allan Poe, January 19 2017]

Dearest Brother,

                 It has been two years since I started this one-sided correspondence with you. Can you believe it? Almost two years since I started writing to you and not even one single letter! At least your coworker Miss Louisa, even if she is not close, can spare me a single moment to inform me on what’s happening with you! She was the one who sent me your new address if you must now.

                 Alas, now is not the time to be bitter.

                 I simply wish you a happy birthday dear brother. I hope twenty-six is treating you right.

Yours affectionately,

Rosalie M Poe

P.S. Whatever you do, do not look at the new article of our university’s zine. I do not know if she has the right to do that to you!

***

[An excerpt from ‘Edgar Allan Poe: A Quiet Enigma’ written by Virginia Eliza Clemm accessed by Edgar Allan Poe, January 19 2017]

Edgar Allan Poe was a person the media would consider as the typical literature college student. He was incredibly quiet, incredibly distant, and incredibly utterly absorbed in his work. There was not a time in the day where you would not find him elbows deep in his writing or reading. If he was not writing or reading then he was most likely doing basic things for survival,

He is not, however, the most boring person you’ll ever meet. Depending on your interests, perhaps you’ll find him the most opposite of that. The first time I talked to him he had entranced me with words that I thought I was in another dimension.

Alas, it was not meant to be as Edgar Allan Poe played for the other team. Last I heard, he was now too busy trying to regain his broken pride.

(…)

 ***

 [Letter from Edgar Allan Poe to Nathaniel Hawthorne, February 5 2017]

Mr. Hawthorne.

Sir,

                 I apologize for reaching out to you in this type of letter. Miss Alcott had told me that you do not have an e-mail. I do not have a phone nor am I good with one-on-one conversation and thus I have resorted to sending you a letter even though you are quite literally three doors down.

                 It has come to my attention that you were a pastor before you have joined the Guild, if my chats with Miss Alcott are accurate. I have been a religious person when I was just a child but now that I am old, I sadly cannot find time to pay my respects to the Lord. I know my Bible readings though, but I do not know enough.

                 I am not here to confess my sins. If I were here to confess my sins then this letter would be more than ten pages and I am not sure if that would be welcome. I have realized that I have too many sins to even think about asking for penance. I am only here to ask a few questions, nothing more and nothing less.

  1. Hubris is still considered as a sin?
  2. Is foolishly following something (or someone) that I feel I might die for them is considered Hubris and therefore a sin?
  3. Is trying to regain broken pride a sin?
  4. Homosexuality is a sin?

                 Thank you for your patience with me.

Yr. Most Obt. Servt

Edgar A. Poe

***

[Letter from Nathaniel Hawthorne to Edgar Allan Poe, February 7 2017]

Pax et bonum!

My Good Sir,

                 I admit I was a bit confused when I received a written letter from someone I see every other day (in that note: Sir, if I can point out, you ought to eat more. If you are far too embarrassed to join us then I am sure you can peruse the kitchen in the afterhours). I was positively delighted to find out that there is another religious man in this Guild.

                 Although, may I correct you in one particular manner? Before my life in the Guild perhaps you can consider me a pastor but now that I have done evil things under the name of greed, I am afraid to say I cannot, in good conscience, call myself a pastor anymore.

                 Having said that, I would not be able to call myself a good Christian if I were not to assure you that even how many sins you bear on your back—the good Lord would still find it in His heart to forgive you. Please, I urge you to at least try and go to a confessional. What is the Lord but forgiving?

                 To answer your first question: Hubris is still considered a sin, no matter how the world try to normalize this, Hubristic choices and personality are still sins against God as Hubris is the belief that you are greater than God.

                 For your second: my goodness! You ought to tell me where you went for Sunday School so I can properly berate them that they are not teaching Christian kids proper education!

                  That is not Hubris. It is the farthest thing away from Hubris! As long as you do not consider that person greater than God then you are good. My good sir, that is called Loyalty and it is not expendable, I ask for you to be careful in whom you give your loyalty to. It is only a sin if the person you are following to the ends of the earth is an evil man, a man who would not think twice in going against god. Is this someone you are talking about our boss, Sir F. Scott Fitzgerald? Sir, please do not give that man you’re loyalty. (Although I fear that I am too late as after all you are here?)

                 The third question is a bit tricky. The God will not forsake anyone trying to patch themselves together but you have to be careful in how you do so. The important thing is to remember that whatever you do, God will forgive you as He is All-forgiving.

                 For your last question, I have studied the Bible extensively. Not once have I found any damning evidence that God will forsake you for who you love. As written in Micah 6:8 “What does the Lord require of you but to do justice, and to love kindness, and to walk humbly with your God?”. The Lord only asks of you to not be so consumed with your passion for you love that you forget about Him.

                 I hope I have helped you.

God be with ye,

Nathaniel Hawthorne

P.S. Sir, May I offer you to accompany me in mass? I have not seen you and I daresay the priest presiding over the masses in the Church near here has a wonderful way with words in his homilies.

***

[Post it from F. Scott Fitzgerald on Edgar Allan Poe’s door, dated April 5 2017]

we leave in a week.

be ready.

***

[Letter from Louisa May Alcott to Edgar Allan Poe, dated April 6 2017]

Sir,

                 I hope your Japanese is okay-ish! I think mine is mediocre but passable (and I thank the stars for my ability!). I’ll survive though!

                 As you’ve already guessed, we’ll be making our move in Yokohama. Sir Fitzgerald really wants that half-man, half-tiger and the organization we have commissioned for obtaining him has failed and thus we are to fix this.

                 The sir is really writing me ragged at this rate! I have finished writing in four notebooks under the span of ten minutes! My mind feels like it will liquefy at any moment.

                 At any rate, be ready with your ability! You will be able to fight your greatest nemesis. Yes, we have received word that the half-man half-tiger is working in the same Agency. What a nice coincidence! I wish you luck (though I believe you will not need it, after all you will beat him, right?)

Yours,

Louisa May Alcott

***

[Article ‘GRIZZLY MURDER IN YOKOHAMA SOLVED BY POLICE IN UNDER A DAY! accessed by Edgar Allan Poe, dated April 6 2017]

GRIZZLY MURDER IN YOKOHAMA SOLVED BY POLICE IN UNDER A DAY
published February 5 2017

The Yokohama Police had proved themselves once more as the fastest police force in the entire Japan archipelago in solving a murder in under a day!

The victim, twenty-eight year old police officer Yamagiwa Suzuka, was found in Yokohama River having three shots taken in the chest. She was said to be a hard-working dedicated police officer. She was described by her superior as ‘intelligent, courageous and bold’ and was fast-track to having a detective position in a few months.

Her murderer, Junsa Sugimoto, is allegedly her lover.

There are rumors about this whole murder being solved by one Edogawa Ranpo but there are also rumors that this whole case is tied to a famous politician. We ask of you to take this with a grain of salt.

***

[Letter from Edgar Allan Poe to Louisa May Alcott, dated April 13 2017]

Madam,

                 I lost.

                 I will not be coming back.

Yr. Most Obt. Servt

Edgar A. Poe

***

[Letter from Edgar Allan Poe to Rosalie Mackenzie Poe, dated April 14 2017]

Dearest Sister,

                 I have paced around my room here in Japan for at least an hour before I even got the courage to write this. I do not know what to say or what to explain to you. Nonetheless, I know where I should start as our parents have taught us manners.

                 My dearest little sister, I write this letter humbly asking for your forgiveness. I have not been the best sibling the past six years if any of your letters mean anything (and Rosalie, are you not keeping up with your penmanship?). I apologize that I have worried you and almost let you think that I have perished like our parents and brother.

                 Dearest Rosalie, I do not know if you will still accept me as your brother. Dearest Rosalie, you have been nothing but the greatest sister in my trying times even if I have ignored you. Dearest Rosalie, I am on my knees begging for your forgiveness, I am in tears asking for you to forgive my past offenses.

                 Dearest Rosalie, I cannot prove any explanation on why you have not heard from me the past few years. The only explanation I can give you is my hubristic pride.

Yours affectionately,

Edgar A. Poe

***

[Letter from Rosalie Mackenzie Poe to Edgar Allan Poe, dated April 16 2017]

Dearest Brother,

                 The moment I saw your letter come in the mail, you have already been forgiven. Now go join the real world and make a god damn Facebook account! I’m losing money as sending letters nowadays is expensive!

Yours affectionately,

Rosalie M. Poe

P.S. My penmanship is perfectly adequate!

***

[Letter from Edgar Allan Poe to Rosalie Mackenzie Poe, dated April 18 2017]

Dearest Sister,

                 I refuse to make one! I do not wish to see old classmates again nor reconnect with them. However, I can give you a compromise. My email is: poe.edg.a@gmail.com

Yours affectionately,

Edgar A. Poe

***

[E-mail from Akiko Yosano to Edgar Allan Poe, dated May 3 2017]

Reciepient:poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Sent: dr.a.yosano@gmail.com
Subject: HELLO OPEN THIS EMAIL!!!

UHHHHH this ain’t akiko . I DON’T HAVE an email because who even uses emails????????? OLD PEOPLE!!!!!!

(im not saying akiko’s old, im saying you + the old man here is OLD. along like w other salarymen wasting away in companies lol.)

AKIKO I KNOW YOU’LL READ THIS SO I’LL EMPHASIZE THAT I’M NOT CALLING U OLD OK!!!!!!!!!

anyways, dude WTF????????????? why don’t you have a phone # or like twitter???? : ///// like im the hardest person to read (APPARENTLY, there was a poll. im pretty sure kunkikida, the blond guy w the insane standard for women?, voted like 50 times for me) BUT I HAVE A TIWTTER + PHONE #??? this is insane man, I thought u were more responsible than me . I thought WRONG!

and before you start with the phone number, I MEAN A JAPANESE PHONE #! . and not an AMERICAN ONE GOD. ur in japan so please get a phone # thanks!!!!!

ANYWAYS I KNOW LIKE UR NOT gonna U KNOW fuckkng  avid dislike for phones or so im reading right now (IM NOT SURE if this site is the best stie to get info since it’s a magazine site but EH) so I’ll just give u my twitter.

my twitter is: @tanteiran PRETTY COOL RIGHT????

if u don’t make a twitter b cur lazy (in which wtf man every1 has a twitter but also relatable), then just email back so I can Go and make an email acc. GOD.  I’ll adjust 4 u bc I need to ‘talk’ to more people or so the old man here + akiko says.

(also I May want to get Excerpts from whatever murder mystery ur thinking about. I like mysteries.????? and u seem like someone who can match my own wavelength]

- U KNOW WHO THIS IS OR ELSE UR THE WORST MYSTERY WRITER EVER!

***

[Tweet by @tanteiran accessed by Edgar Allan Poe, May 4 2017]

great detective
@tanteiran

GOD I CAN FINALLY GO HOME NOW

10:43 PM – 04 May 17

***

[E-mail from Edgar Allan Poe to Akiko Yosano, dated May 4 2017]

Reciepient: dr.a.yosano@gmail.com
Sent: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Subject: RE: HELLO OPEN THIS EMAIL!!!

Sir,

I’m pretty sure Akiko would not like this at all, also how can you write like that? Did I really waste away six years of my life for someone who can’t even use English grammar…? (Don’t say you can’t. I know where you went to school.)

(Oh god that sounded stalker-ish, I apologize. I only know because you’re school congratulated you for you won against me in that duel, if you can remember that.)

I have a twitter but sadly, it was frozen because it wasn’t technically mine but the publisher I previously worked for. So until further notice, this is the only way you can reach to me online.

Tell me if you have a new e-mail.

Yr. Most Obt. Servt

Edgar A. Poe

P.S. I am not old! If I remember right, you are the older one!

P.P.S Is this how you talk to your coworkers? I feel bad for the good Sir Kunikida. There's nothing wrong with having expectations.

***

[E-mail from Ranpo Edogawa to Edgar Allan Poe, dated May 5 2017]

Reciepient: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Sent: thegr8stdetective@gmail.com
Subject: OH  MY GOD!!!!

oh my god, you STALKER.

I cannot believe you exist??? I cannot believe you did that? (actually I can bc I did peruse akiko’s collection of mystery novels BECAUSE she’s a big fan tbh so I can see why u did that.) ALSO? I spent ALMOST A GOOD CHUNK OF MY CHILDHOOD IN THAT ENGLISH  GRAMMATICAL HELL. I can do this ok.

WHAT YOU SEE IS WHAT YOU GET? also hey thanks for throwing away six years of your life just to write a book for me. akiko say I should say that (not in that wording that’s all my work!)

Aw man, sucks 4 that 2 happen :- ( . I hope u get it back soon tho. or like u kno….????? mayb make a new one lol.

but mystery stuff, lay it on me!!! u (and twitter) are my only saving graces in this boring hell the people call work!

P.S. I might be OLDER than you by like four years but that doesn’t mean im NOT COOL.

P.P.S SO ?! Are u telling me???? Having INSANE standards is acceptable???? he has a LIST FOR TRAITS he wants in women!!!!!!!!!! half of them.... are almost impossible ??

***

[Letter from Rosalie Mackenzie Poe to Edgar Allan Poe, date June 2017]

Dearest brother,

                 I know we have been writing to each other via e-mail and that you know I have met a good man recently, but I might’ve committed offense to you my dear brother as I have lied to you. I have not met this good month a month ago like I have told you in my e-mails, but rather a year ago.

                 He has proposed to me a week ago and while we do not have anything set yet I ask of you to please join with us. My dearest brother, will you do me the honor of giving me away to the man I will spend the rest of my life with?

Yours affectionately,

Rosalie M Poe

***

[E-mail correspondence between Edgar Allan Poe to Ranpo Edogawa, dated December 2017]

Reciepient thegr8stdetective@gmail.com
Sent: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Subject: Might be out a few weeks.

Sir,

My sister is getting married in two weeks or so and thus I will not be able to keep up with our correspondence. If you remember, my sister is the one I have been avoiding for the past years until this year.

I hope you forgive me.

Yours affectionately,

Edgar A. Poe

***

Reciepient: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Sent: thegr8stdetective@gmail.com
Subject: RE: Might be out a few weeks.

YEAH NO WORRIES! it might be boring around here though ughhh don’t u have like internet connection in virginia

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Reciepient thegr8stdetective@gmail.com
Sent: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE Might be out a few weeks. (UNSENT)

We have! Although I just thought this would be a good way for you to not get bored of me because that’s what I do whenever I have something nice.  I destroy it because I don’t know how to okay no, you can’t send this Poe redo this letter

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Reciepient thegr8stdetective@gmail.com
Sent: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE Might be out a few weeks.

I’d offer for you to join but I feel like you might get bored with activities we will do. (I do still have a pesky plus one and Rosalie will pester me if I don’t show up without anyone).

Yours affectionately,

Edgar A. Poe

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Reciepient: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Sent: thegr8stdetective@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE: RE: Might be out a few weeks.

ARE U KIDDING ME. I WILL TAKE THAT OFFER? Anywhere is better than WORK and I’m pretty sure the old man’s gonna agree if I say it’s a wedding and that and that.

also poe, anything with you isn’t boring? sometimes idiotic or funny but never boring. that’s a compliment.

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Reciepient thegr8stdetective@gmail.com
Sent: poe.edg.a@gmail.com
Subject: RE: RE  RE: Might be out a few weeks.

Wow, I feel the love.

Yours affectionately,

Edgar A. Poe

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[Post it left at the desk of Ranpo Edogawa, dated December 2017]

gonna be out a few weeks!!!!! my good friend edgar a poe invited me 2 go 2 virginia w/ him for his sister’s wedding!

sorry 4 not telling y’all but don’t worry I wasn’t kidnapped or anything.