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Adam's Amazing Text Adventure

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You are in your cottage. It is the middle of the night.

 

>look

You look around your small cottage. In the moonlight, you see that there is a FIREPLACE, a DINNER TABLE, a SIDE TABLE, and a BED that someone's already sleeping in.

 

>x me

You are ADAM MOONLIT, WOODCUTTER, resident of HELD'S FOREST, husband to EVE MOONLIT NEE ZVEZDA, son of ALICE MOONLIT, former ROYAL and SCIENTIST of the MAGIC KINGDOM LEVIANTA, former HEAD of PROJECT MA, current FUGITIVE, and SOMEONE WITH MANY, MANY, REGRETS.

 

>Look at bed

You look at who’s on your bed. It's an Eve!

 

>Cuddle Eve

You climb into bed and wrap your arms around your wife. You cuddle Eve. She smiles in her sleep and cuddles you back. It's adorable.

This feels really nice, and you would love to just stay there and sleep until morning, but you can't. You have work to do.

Regretfully, you untangle yourself from Eve and climb out of the bed.

 

>Vore Eve

Why... why would you... okay.

You attempt to vore your wife. You start with her hand, but you manage to get all the way to the wrist before you realize you're choking to death. Eve mumbles in her sleep and turns, taking her now slimy hand out of your mouth.

At least you tried.

 

>Poke Eve

You give your wife a gentle poke on the shoulder. She murmurs and shifts a little, but ultimately doesn't respond. Eve was always a heavy sleeper.

 

>Wake up Eve

You place a hand on her shoulder to shake your wife awake, but... you hesitate. You look at her relaxed face, sleeping peacefully.

...

You can't do it.

 

>Look at fireplace

Your fireplace is a pretty okay fireplace, if rather large. Eve sometimes joked that it was large enough to fit her. It still does its regular fireplace things rather well. There is a POKER right next to the fireplace, as well as a pile of LOGS and some BELLOWS.

 

>Light a fire in the fireplace

A fire is already lit in the fireplace. However, it's rather weak, almost down to the embers.

 

>Stoke fire.

You don't have anything to stoke the fire with.

 

>Take poker

You take the poker.

 

>Use poker on fire.

You poke at the fire a little until it gets a little bit stronger. But not much.

 

>Add logs to fire.

You add several logs to the fire. Thankfully, they ignite, and the room becomes much warmer.

 

>Use poker on Eve

You asshole.

You poke Eve on the shoulder with the still hot poker, leaving a dark ash stain on the sleeve of her white nightgown. She jolts at the heat and whimpers, but still doesn't wake.

Have you considered being a better husband?

 

>Bite Eve's hand.

Now you're just being rude.

You bite Eve's hand, but you really don't have the heart to really do it. It's more like a slight nibble.

She doesn't really respond.

 

>Transcend to the fifth dimension

You can't do that.

 

>Look out window.

Moonlight shines over the forest, dimly lighting the path that goes deeper into it. Listen hard enough, and you might hear the sounds of crows and forest predators stalking their prey. You can barely see the stars. You have a feeling it's going to be a long night.

 

>Go outside.

You exit the cottage. There's a SMALL GARDEN to your right, a WELL to your left, and a PATH right in front of you.

 

>RETRIEVE ARMS

Why? You already have them!

 

>Enter garden

You enter the fenced-in garden. It's mostly Eve's handiwork, a mostly successful attempt to recreate the garden of her own childhood. There is a section for VEGETABLES, a section for MEDICINAL HERBS and PLANTS, and a section for PLANTS EVE PLANTED BECAUSE THEY JUST LOOKED PRETTY. To be fair, they are fairly beautiful. There are some gardening tools in the corner.

 

>Eat plant

Which plant? You're going to have to be specific.

 

>Gather flowers for Eve

That seems like a good idea, but none of the flowers are in bloom

 

>Become embittered about Seth and Project Ma

However tempting it is to wallow in self-pity, you have gotten over that a long, long time ago.

It's only you and Eve now. You remind yourself of that.

 

>Examine tools

They are all lumped in one corner, covered in dirt. There is a SMALL GARDENING SPADE, a LARGE SHOVEL, a WATERING CAN, a pair of SMALL GARDENING GLOVES, and, huh? What's this?

Your AX. Your AX somehow ended up here. Oh, so that's where it went...

 

>Take ax.

You take the ax.

 

>Eat ax.

You somehow consume the entire ax and die from internal bleeding.

BAD END.

RESTART FROM SAVEPOINT? Y/N

 

RESTARTING FROM SAVEPOINT...

You are in your cottage. It is the middle of the night.

 

>You leave to the garden, again

Invalid command.

 

>Exit house

You exit the cottage. There's a SMALL GARDEN to your right, a WELL to your left, and a PATH right in front of you.

 

>Left

You go left. You see the well that you and Eve dug when you first got here. You would've have liked to use the stream but it's just too far.

 

>Sing to the well of your regrets

You are not a very good singer, but you sing anyway. Your voice carries across the forest, and even the crows fall silent.

Wow, you must be really bad at this.

 

>Drown yourself in the well

Overcome by your regret, you jump into the well. Halfway down, you realize you're leaving Eve all alone, and you hate yourself even more.

The water is cold.

BAD END

RESTART FROM SAVEPOINT? Y/N

 

RESTARTING FROM SAVEPOINT...

You are in your cottage. It is the middle of the night.

 

>Throw yourself into the fireplace

You would, but a) You don't want to die, b) You're too big for the fireplace, and c) The fire is way too weak to even give you a first-degree burn.

 

>Throw Eve into the fireplace

Why.

 

>Break window

You have nothing to break the window with.

 

>Leave cottage

You exit the cottage. There's a SMALL GARDEN to your right, a WELL to your left, and a PATH right in front of you.

 

>You walk up to the path

Into the forest you go, deeper and deeper. Despite the moonlight, it's pretty dark. You might be eaten by a bear.

 

>think about seth's ridiculously long legs. just think about them. is he okay

Invalid command.

 

>You try to remember if you have a lantern at home

Invalid command.

 

>kidnap twin babies

Invalid command.

 

>abandon twin babies

Invalid command.

 

>think about seth's ridiculously long legs.

Invalid command.

 

>die instantly

You somehow to tell your heart to fail and you die instantly. Congratulations.

BAD END.

RESTART FROM SAVEPOINT? Y/N

 

RESTARTING FROM SAVEPOINT...

You are in your cottage. It is the middle of the night.

 

>lie down on the floor

You lie down on the floor. It's not very comfortable, especially seeing as there's a BED right there.

 

>sleep on the floor

You would like to sleep, but you have work to do. You get up.

 

>Lie down next to Eve

You climb into bed and lie down next to your wife. Eve, sensing your warmth, smiles in her sleep and wraps her arms around you. You can’t help but cuddle her back. She’s adorable.

This feels really nice, and you would love to just stay there and sleep until morning, but you can't. You have work to do.

Regretfully, you untangle yourself from Eve and climb out of the bed.

 

>use venom on eve

You do not have that item. You hope you will never have that item ever again.

 

>look under bed

You look under the bed. You expect to see nothing but dust bunnies, but what is this? There's a dark rectangular shape that you can barely make out to be a book.

 

>take book

You take the book. It's a rather large book with a black leather cover and yellowing pages. You see no title.

 

>open book

You open the book. You are half-afraid that it might be Eve's journal and are ready to close it if that should be the case, but it isn't. It seems to be a sort of handwritten encyclopedia, documenting magical remedies and medicinal plants. It looks very old, and you see several different kinds of handwriting as you flip through the pages.

 

>eat book

You can, but do you want to?

 

>No.

You don't eat the book. You flip all the way to the end and recognize Eve's handwriting. It's probably very important.

 

>eat last page

Feeling a bit ridiculous, you go all the way to the end of the book, tear out the last page, crumple it, then stuff it in your mouth and try to swallow it.

Thankfully, that last page, and a good chunk of the book before it, is blank. Maybe Eve was meant to fill in the last few pages? You'll probably just ask her in the morning. The page tastes exactly as you thought it would: horrible. You barely manage to keep it down.

 

> Write regrets on a piece of paper and put them in a bottle.

You do not have those items.

 

>inventory

You have:

Eve's encyclopedia of magical healing

 

> Conjure magic!

You would, but you are an ex-scientist. Not a mage. Eve would be better for that.

 

> Find eve?

She's right there.

 

>exit

You exit the cottage. There's a SMALL GARDEN to your right, a WELL to your left, and a PATH right in front of you.

 

>go to well

You go left. You see the well that you and Eve dug when you first got here. You would've have liked to use the stream but it's just too far.

 

>use well

You do not have a bucket.

 

>examine well

You examine the well. Though somewhat new, the stones are already gathering moss. The rope is also wearing thin. You will have to replace it soon. There is no bucket at the end of the rope. You try to recall where you put it...

 

>go to garden

You enter the fenced-in garden. It's mostly Eve's handiwork, a mostly successful attempt to recreate the garden of her own childhood. There is a section for VEGETABLES, a section for MEDICINAL HERBS and PLANTS, and a section for PLANTS EVE PLANTED BECAUSE THEY JUST LOOKED PRETTY. To be fair, they are fairly beautiful. There are some gardening tools in the corner.

 

>Examine tools

They are all lumped in one corner, covered in dirt. There is a SMALL GARDENING SPADE, a LARGE SHOVEL, a WATERING CAN, a pair of SMALL GARDENING GLOVES, and, huh? What's this?

Your AX. Your AX somehow ended up here. Oh, so that's where it went...

 

>take watering can and ax

You take the watering can. You take the ax. Ready for some heavy-duty gardening.

 

>Take axe and chop it into a tree.

There are no nearby trees in the area.

 

>exit

You leave the garden. There's a SMALL GARDEN to your right, a WELL to your left, and a PATH right in front of you.

 

>look

The forest stretches in front of you and around you, daring you to enter its depths. You think you hear the crows getting louder.

 

>Enter forest

You walk down the path. Into the forest you go, deeper and deeper. Despite the moonlight, it's pretty dark. You might be eaten by a bear.

 

>Use ax on tree

You pick a random tree and swing, embedding the ax very deep into its trunk. You may be imagining things, but the forest itself seems to shudder in pain.

It's very dark. You think you hear something.

 

>Search for the fugitive Meta Salmhofer

You really hope someone like Meta Salmhofer won't be stalking the woods at this time of night. You certainly don't want to meet her.

 

>Return to house

You go back to the cottage, maybe just in time. You stand in front of the door. There is a WELL to your right, a SMALL GARDEN to your left, and a PATH right behind you.

 

>go to well

You go right. You see the well that you and Eve dug when you first got here. You would've have liked to use the stream but it's just too far.

 

>tie watering can to rope

You tie the watering can to the rope with the best knot you can manage. Will it hold? You don't know.

 

>fill watering can

You lower the watering can into the well until you hear it splash into the water. You then winch it up, warily watching the rope as it strained against the axle.

Despite your fears, the rope holds. You now have a FULL WATERING CAN.

 

>take watering can

You discover that the knot you made was tied too... well. Your fingers ache trying to unpick the knot, and you give up. The watering can now just sits at the rim of the well.

 

>Water shoe

You water your shoe. Your foot is getting soaked. You now have a HALF-FULL WATERING CAN.

 

>enter garden

You enter the fenced-in garden. It's mostly Eve's handiwork, a mostly successful attempt to recreate the garden of her own childhood. There is a section for VEGETABLES, a section for MEDICINAL HERBS and PLANTS, and a section for PLANTS EVE PLANTED BECAUSE THEY JUST LOOKED PRETTY. To be fair, they are fairly beautiful. There are some gardening tools in the corner.

 

>look

Seems to be a pretty good garden. The vegetables are coming along nicely. Hmm, it looks like something shiny's half-buried in the vegetable section over there...

 

>examine shiny thing

You see it more clearly now. Two handles are sticking up from the dirt, metal biting into the earth. You think you remember Eve working on this section of the garden earlier today.

 

>take shiny thing

You pull the shiny thing out from the dirt. It's a pair of GARDENING SHEARS. Eve must have placed it here to mark her spot. You'll apologize to her later.

 

>go to well

You go left. You see the well that you and Eve dug when you first got here. You would've have liked to use the stream but it's just too far.

 

>fill watering can

You lower the watering can into the well until you hear it splash into the water. You then winch it up, warily watching the rope as it strains against the axle.

Despite your fears, the rope holds. You now have a FULL WATERING CAN.

 

>use shears on rope

You use the gardening shears to cut the rope, just above the knot. You still feel a bit like an idiot.

 

>take watering can

You take the FULL WATERING CAN.

 

>enter house

You enter the cottage.

 

>pour watering can over yourself

For some reason you feel like now is the appropriate time for a shower. You pour half the water all over yourself, soaking the floor beneath you. You have a feeling Eve's not going to be happy with this. You now have a HALF-FULL watering can.

 

>drink all the water in the watering can.

You regard the water suspiciously, thinking how it's usually best to boil the water first. You eventually shrug and drink the entire contents of the watering can like the incompetent ex-scientist you are.

A minute later, you vomit violently, emptying the contents of your stomach all over the floor, and yet you still continue to throw up. The sound of your retching wakes Eve up, and she frantically rushes to your side.

It turns out there was a deadly water-borne bacteria in that watering can. Eve tries her best, with all the shamanic knowledge she knows, but it's no good.

You die before morning.

BAD END.

RESTART FROM SAVEPOINT? Y/N

 

RESTARTING FROM SAVEPOINT...

You are in your cottage. It is the middle of the night.

 

>make cottage cheese

That sounds nice, but you don't have anything to make cottage cheese.

 

>check your food supply

You check your food supply. You're still pretty well stocked from your last foray into town. There are a few bottles of MILK, a couple loaves of BREAD. a jar of SUGAR, a jar of SALT, some COOKING OIL, and various SMOKED MEATS.

 

>take bottle of milk and loaf of bread

You take one BOTTLE OF MILK. You take one LOAF OF BREAD.

 

>make cheese with milk

You can only stare at the bottle. Helpless. You have no idea how to make cheese. You really are a city kid, aren't you?

 

>screech

You screech, mostly from all the regret in your life. Eve wakes up frantically, thinking you're in the middle of being murdered. Out of panic, she impulsively releases a burst of magic at the dark shape in the corner of her eye. It turns out to be you, and it turns out to be lethal. Whoops.

BAD END.

RESTART FROM SAVEPOINT? Y/N

 

RESTARTING FROM SAVEPOINT...

You are in your cottage. It is the middle of the night.

 

>i

You have:

Eve's encyclopedia of magical healing

An ax

A full watering can

A pair of gardening shears

 

>Save

You save. You have no idea what that means, but you SAVE. You may or may not be filled with determination.

 

>use shears on eve's hair

Eve's hair is down, a mass of sky blue flowing over the bed. You somehow make yourself take the shears in your hand and begin to cut her hair to just above the shoulder. The soft snipping doesn't make her stir, neither does the sensation of such a large amount of weight suddenly lifting from her head. When you finish, Eve has a brand new haircut, and a ridiculous amount of hair still lies on the bed.

Have you considered the fact that you are a terrible person?

 

>use watering can on eve

What, do you think pouring water all over her is going to make her hair grow back again? You really were a terrible scientist. Either way, you "water" Eve with the watering can, soaking her in frigid water. She jolts as the water hits her, and her eyes spring open. She tries to sit up, but her head hits the watering can you still hold above her and she recoils back, rubbing her head in pain. Her eyes focus on you, still pouring water all over her. "What are you doing?" she asks.

 

>reason out with her

You try to come up with a ridiculous yet plausible-sounding excuse for why you suddenly decided to pour cold water on her in the dead of night, something that involves health benefits somehow. She listens, half-awake, but you can tell that she's not buying it. She absentmindedly runs her fingers through her wet hair, and her eyes widen as she realizes that her hair stops just above the shoulder. You're fucked.

 

>stab eve with shears

Seeing no other solutions, you suddenly take the gardening shears and stab Eve in the stomach. Her eyes go as wide as dinner plates, and she tries to struggle as you pin her down and stab her again. And again.

You realize that she hasn't tried to fight back, that she hasn't used her magic at least once against you. You can only see a helpless look of betrayal in her eyes as she weakly struggles against your grip. She tries to open her mouth and speak, maybe to ask you why, but the only thing that comes from her is a weak gurgling noise as blood spills from her lips. Eventually, she convulses and dies.

What... what did you just do?

 

>run out of the room

This... this was all too much. You abandon Eve's body and flee the cottage, still soaked in blood. The moon is still shining, the crows are still cawing. There a PATH right in front of you, EVE'S GARDEN to the right, and WELL to the left.

 

>stab self with shears.

You're still holding the shears. You feel numb. Without thinking, you decisively stab yourself with the shears, right in the stomach. You think you see crows flying above your head as you bleed to death.

BAD END

RESTART FROM SAVEPOINT? Y/N