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You're gonna Miss Me When I'm Gone

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She came out of her room to be greeted with the familiar sight of them making love to each other, again.

With out her.

A small part of her heart was glad, relived even that she was making this choice but the other part, the huge, invested, bleeding part of her heart that had been 100% committed to this relationship and making it work for a lifetime broke for what was obviously never to be. Six months into her junior year and they had approached her with this arrangement. Life had been rocky, Jesse wasn't all she had thought he would be and that was putting in mildly. Chloe and Aubrey had been there for her in a way she never thought anyone would have had to be. Looking back at it now she realizes what a mistake it had been for herself to let herself be here.

Six months later she had everything ready go. She just finished her Junior year, had offers for paid internships from music studios like Residual Heat here at Barden and they were also willing to bring her to L.A. If this played out like she hoped it wouldn't she would be gone from their lives. She had to try one more time then if they wouldn't listen she could say good-bye once and for all. Slowly bandage the broken pieces of her heart and move on with her life.

"Bree. Chloe. Can we talk?"

Neither stopped sucking face and a mumbled, "Later Bec," was uttered from one of them.

Dropping her things by her feet she picked up the super soaker that lay lying next to her feet. She had brought it earlier this morning just for this occasion. She almost felt it was a fitting way to cool them down and finally get them to listen to her for one damn moment. Carefully Beca anchored it to her shoulder, took aim then fired.

Aubrey and Chloe jumped away from each other in shock as the ice water hit them. They quickly looked for the cause of them being drenched before realizing that it had been their girlfriend who had taken the shot. Aubrey did not miss Beca's pissed off look as she stood a few feet away, her left arm dropping some however the gun stayed firmly clasped in her hand. The ear spike she had loved to hate her senior year once again taking its rightful place and Beca was dressed more 'alt' then when they had first met the girl two years ago.

"Damn it Beca! What the hell?!" She shouted at the same time Chloe said, "Beca, why did you do that."

"Nice to know that you both remember me. I was starting to think you forgotten me with all the time you spend together plus a way for work of classes."

"Beca," Chloe's voice softened, "you know we would never forget about you. We love you."

Beca tried so hard not to roll her eyes at the two–Chloe the peacekeeper, she wanted things to be perfect however Chloe hadn't seen how much she had been hurting all this time. Neither of them had noticed. They got her and then tossed her away– she really did but she was beyond pissed at them. Maybe more so at Chloe for lying to her about how this would all go. How Aubrey truly loved her as well but had difficulty expressing it much like Beca did. How no matter what they would stand by each other and make it into a forever.

Beca would swear on all she loved that she had tried. Really tried to be open and talk to them. To tell them how she felt but over and over again she had just felt ignored. She would swear that she had given it her all even more than she had with Jesse. It had started out more amazing then she could have believed given what she had been dealing with. What she was still dealing with. Two wonderful months of feeling loved and safe with the women she had unintentionally falling in love with, then nothing. The hugs and surprise kisses dried up instantaneous unless it was to seduce her, which ended with her helping to get them off and the next moment they would go right to sleep.

It hurt.

She felt dirty.


Worse then…

Taking a deep breath she asked, "Do you, because I can't tell if you ever were."

This time Aubrey rejoined, "Beca be reasonable. Of course we do."

"I have been reasonable. The fact that you think I am not being reasonable gives me all the answers I need. Which is: no you don't. I'm a toy to you both. And I'm done, dude. I've fucking tried but I'm done. I hoped that when I came in here you both would just stop for once and listen to me but you wouldn't. So that is it. It's finished."

"Beca you don't mean that." Chloe tried as she reached out grabbing the blanket to cover her–self. The irony wasn't lost on her in that moment that she was coving herself for once. She famed catch phrase 'I'm pretty confident about all this' fail her right then. They had both seen her in some pretty risqué situations, yet staring into Beca's eyes it did not feel right to be uncovered during any discussion they were about to have. Seeing her one of her girlfriends standing there, looking so hurt and furious wasn't okay with her.

They knew that having a polyamory relationship would be hard. Difficult even, but they weren't prepared for Beca to be standing before them stating that she was done after only being together for six months.

Chloe would be the first one to admit that she had been the one to want this in the first place. It hadn't occurred to her till she stood in the aisle watching as Beca kissed Jesse that she was in love with the rebel. The Bellas had celebrated their win in style however after the party had died down and everyone had retired she finally let all the heartbreak and missed chances that she would never have with Beca go.

It had been Aubrey to notice her loss of appetite a week later. The lovelorn glances she would continually cast in Beca's direction when the other woman wasn't looking. The adverted eyes when Beca would accept Jesse's kisses. Worst of all the endless crying when Chloe thought no one could hear her. A month had passed and the girls were on their summer break. She failed Russian lit hoping that maybe if she stayed someday Beca would be hers. Aubrey had come to visit and she ended spilling her heart out. Every thought and ache that she had dreamed of involving Beca.

Aubrey had let her cry on her shoulder. When she had finally pulled back she was met with tears on Aubrey's eyes. Her friend had broken down confessing her own feelings for their friend. Beca's fighting spirit had drove Aubrey wild with want and equal parts frustration. They shared all the things that made Beca, Beca to them. The release of their mutual feelings had given them a soothing balm to their broken hearts. In a strange way it also brought them closer together that hadn't happen during their four years as Bellas together. By the end of summer Chloe asked Aubrey out and Aubrey had eagerly agreed. When word broke amongst the Bellas the girls were thrilled for them. Beca had made them a congratulatory mix, but, it there had a look that Chloe still wasn't sure if she had imagined or not, seemed not as thrilled as the rest.

Beca's sophomore year started. The Bellas, along with Chloe and Beca, moved into the new Bella house while Aubrey had moved into a huge apartment not far from campus doing online classes for Harvard Law. She had briefly considered opening a camp to teach teamwork excises and leadership abilities, but dismissed it. She wanted to be like Beca and fight for others, in some way. Chloe would go over often and the rest of the girls would visit. During the night Chloe and Bree would talk and silently acknowledge that the wanting never went away.

Three, four, five, months into the school year they still wanted Beca knowing that they would never have her. Days like those Chloe would stay over. They would lay in bed discussing what they would do if the chance ever came. How would they make love to her, where they would go for that first date and finally would they move to L.A like Beca had wanted before she came to Barden? It was a surprisingly easy answer once they thought about it; yes they would go anywhere with her.

Jesse and her were going strong, yet Beca always seemed to find a reason to hang out with them over Jesse. After seven months Chloe had had enough and moved in with Aubrey. The Bellas had protested at first until they realized the real reason she moved. Beca hadn't had a clue. It was towards the end of the year that Beca seemed slightly different. She came over more and more. The year ended and everyone had gone on vacation. Beca had stayed at Barden then one night she was there. Dripping wet and nervous. She hadn't wanted her dad called or Jesse, she just wanted to be there with them.

They had had to find out from Amy that Beca and Jesse had broken up. How she found out they didn't know. When asked no one knew what happened, only that it had happened. They had let Beca stay with them as long as she wanted. They hoped she would never want to leave. The breakup was listed under things Beca wouldn't talk about. Much like the relationship with her Dad before Barden or the time she grew up. It bothered them, but they respected her need to privacy. They had three great months of hanging out and laughing. When school started again Beca had gone back to the Bellas house. On the second night they had gotten a call from Stacie begging them to come over for Beca's sake.

In the aftermath they had swept in, carried Beca away, into their home and arms. Beca had spent that first night with them crying in their arms. Actually it was more of a week of crying aloud and silently. She just wouldn't open up about it. The tears eventually stopped. Her smirk of a smile came back and the girl laughed again. Six months later they landed the girl. She had honestly thought it had been going well, till this moment.

"I do mean that Chloe. If we're just talking about the physical side of our 'relationship', when was the last time either of you made love to me?"

Both frowned as they thought about the question then like thunder it truly hit them where Beca was going with this. They hadn't. Hadn't talked, touched, or been emotionally or physically involved with Beca in awhile. Too long of awhile, because neither could remember. Chloe caught Aubrey's eyes silently asking if she remembered a time last.

The eye contact between them and subtle shake of Aubrey head hadn't gone unnoticed by Beca. It made her feel even more left out then before. Little things that seem so natural to them, she knew that she would never be on that level.

There was a small sense of glee watching guilt filled their eyes. It made rethinking her plan of leaving in the middle of the night worth it. The harsh release of air from Chloe startled her. They were both staring at her feet. The guilt was quickly replaced with worry and surprise as they took note of the bag which carried her laptop and DJ equipment sitting at her feet.

"I'm leaving." She announced, confirming their fear.

"Beca," Aubrey started then faltered; took a deep breath then spoke again. "Beca, you belong with us. You always will for as long as we love you."

"That is the funny thing about love Posen. You can mistake it for lust and desire which is clearly what you both have done."

"Beca please think about this. We messed up but you must know we care about you."

A sneer curled her lips at Aubrey's response. "Care? Funny. Six months ago it was love and now you say care. You can care for a dog but guess what?!" Both woman cringed as Beca's tone became shriller, "I'm not a fucking dog!"