Actions

Work Header

What to do when your husband has a weird fetish

Chapter Text

Victor was a curious man.

Currently curious about one thing.

Was there anything special his Yuuri wanted to try in bed?

By no means was he bored with their love life, quite the contrary. They very soon found out they were perfectly compatible in the bedroom as well, and the sex was absolutely incredible every time. To Victor, they were still in the freshly married honeymoon stage. It had only been four months since their wedding, and he still sometimes caught himself just staring at his brand new golden band with a silly smile. The same smile that crept up on him whenever he saw Yuuri making breakfast wearing his shirt, or whenever Yuuri came home from an errand, automatically calling out a greeting in his mother tongue. He couldn’t get enough of their comfortable domestic happiness.

So no, he was not bored.

He just wanted to reciprocate.

Some time ago, Victor inadvertently let a dirty little secret of his slip, right after a particularly steamy love session, when the endorphins were running high. When he’d admitted he’d really like to try having sex in unusual places with the risk of getting caught at least once, Yuuri hadn’t said anything. But a week later, he surprised him yet again by dragging him into a changing cabin of an Armani store when the overzealous shop assistant wasn’t looking, and giving him the blowjob of his lifetime. Victor came out so dazed he bought all three suits he was trying to decide between. Since then, they had done it in the ice rink locker room, in a bathroom in the middle of the Worlds banquet, in a quickly parked car besides Neva at 3 am, even on the beach in Hasetsu. Yuuri’s sweet face always ended up redder the soviet flag, but he went with it every time.

Victor had no idea how he got so lucky.

So what did he know about Yuuri’s secret desires?

He pressed his thinking finger to his lips and started making a mental list.

First off, Yuuri very quickly came to enjoy sex. Victor had heard about the sexually repressed Japanese and their declining birth rates, but if it was true, his husband was a shining exception. Every time he thought he’d seen through all the layers of Yuuri’s well hidden erotic side, he pushed the limits even further. He would dance for him, seduce him, moan for him, come for him. And boy, were his orgasms intense. Viktor had to admit it was very flattering. Partially because it meant Yuuri trusted him enough to bare everything to him. Victor caught himself smiling.

Next - Yuuri could top him for ages with his crazy endurance. Victor loved getting mercilessly railed by his manly looking little piggy, watching those handsome eyebrows furrow in concentration as he got fucked into a complete mess. It was a sight for gods and only Victor had the front row seat.

Yet despite his talent at smashing Victor into oblivion, Yuuri seemed to enjoy bottoming a bit more. Sometimes they even had to negotiate who’d be on top, often compromising on doing it both ways during the same night. But even more often Victor just went with anything Yuuri’s little heart wanted. He would steal the damn moon and hang it in his room if Yuuri asked for it.

And lastly, Yuuri seemed to like being cummed inside. Victor found out during one memorable night back when they were still just engaged. Yuuri shyly asked if they could try doing it without a condom, and then completely blew Victor’s mind by ordering him to finish inside of him. Victor was never harder in his entire life, and he never forgot that night.

After all Yuuri had treated him to, on ice, in bed, anywhere, Victor wanted to give back a little. Just the thought of his Yuuri having the best climax of his life as his most secret desires got catered to by his one and only husband was making him grin with satisfaction. He just had to coax that secret out of him.

He went for it the very next day.

They were rolling around the bed after a round of traditionally amazing sex, kissing and tickling each other like two high schoolers, giggling until they couldn’t breathe, when Victor just spontaneously said it.

‘Yuuri, tell me a fantasy of yours!’ He nuzzled his forehead into Yuuri’s face, eyes twinkling. ‘Is there anything you want to try in bed?’

‘Uh…’

‘Or do you have a specific fetish I could help you out with?’ He fluttered his eyelashes at him teasingly.

Yuuri immediately started squirming in his arms. So he did have one.

‘I don't, really…’

‘Tell me, Yuuri!’ Victor pleaded. ‘I told you mine, didn’t I? And I love that you went with it for me. I want to do the same for you.’ He hugged him tight.

Yuuri was biting his lip, obviously thinking about something. After a few moments, he blushed and hid his face into Victor’s chest.

‘You’ll laugh…’ he mumbled.

‘I will not,’ Victor declared in the most serious tone he could muster. ‘I swear on everything that’s dear to me. Which is mostly you.’ He ran his fingers up Yuuri’s sides for a quick tickle.

Yuuri chuckled a little nervously this time. His eyes were as large as saucers as he stared into Victor’s chest, his heart pounding so hard Victor could feel it through the hug.

‘I…’ he started.

‘You?’ Victor encouraged, nipping playfully at his ear, trying to make him feel at ease, no big deal.

‘Sometimes, I-’ Yuuri was trying hard to wheeze out the words Victor so desperately wanted to hear. He was dying to know at this point, considering all this hesitation.

‘Tell me what you like, sweetheart,’ he purred, trying to set a mood racy enough to accommodate whatever Yuuri was getting worked up about. ‘Come on, love, I won’t judge you. I’ll be more than happy to go along with whatever play you want.’

‘Sometimes I fantasize about you getting me pregnant,’ Yuuri blurted out.

‘…’

Victor’s throat went dry. Suddenly he was glad Yuuri’s face was buried in his chest, because he didn’t trust his own expression, which at that exact moment must have been… hard to define. He had no idea how to respond to that. He’d expected literally anything else, even BDSM. Okay, he might have kind of hoped it would be something of the bondage variety. He was even mentally prepared for some kinks of the nastier kind.

But this… this was a new one.

‘Do you want to have children, Yuuri?’ He managed to ask. ‘We could adopt, if you-‘

‘No! No, I mean, I don’t know, but it’s not like that.’ Yuuri sat up abruptly, starting to get panicky. Victor could already feel the impending bad end to this budding trainwreck of a conversation. ‘It’s not about that, I just, it’s a- It kinda started when I saw you skating Eros for the first time.’

‘Me skating Eros?’

‘Back before Onsen on Ice,’ Yuuri said, the pitch of his voice gradually getting higher and higher. ‘You were so sexy I just got this stupid random thought that even a man like me could get pregnant just by looking at you, and then I got it again… I don’t even know why it came back…’

‘You thought I was sexy back then?’ Victor hopefully grabbed onto the part of the sentence he knew how to react to. ‘I could skate it for you again if you want.’

‘I’d love that!’ Yuuri anything but squeaked at this point. ‘You know what, I have to go now!

He slowly backed out of the bed, gathering random articles of clothing as he rambled on.

‘I must go. Go and walk. Walk the Makkachin.’ He put on Victor’s dress shirt backwards, tripped into his own pants, forgetting underwear completely. ‘He needs to get walked. You should also forget what I told you. I was joking anyway. I’ll make you dinner when I come back. Good night!’

He grabbed Victor’s coat, the leash, the dog, and he was gone, leaving his husband sitting naked and astounded on the bed.

He didn’t come back for three hours

**

Victor had been granted time to process the new information.

He got up, picking up the rest of their clothes from the floor, dropping it all into a laundry basket. He made coffee, and drank it while looking out of the window dramatically. He took a shower, then spent a few minutes staring into the mirror.

How the hell should he deal with this?

He definitely wanted to play along, for Yuuri. But how? Did Yuuri want a roleplay? Should he act like Yuuri was his wife instead of his husband? No, he had said ‘make a man pregnant’. Victor wasn’t sure about many things at the moment, but he knew for certain at least THAT was biologically impossible. So then… should he file an adoption request? Would that make Yuuri happy? For a moment Victor’s mind wandered, imagining them both waltzing into a nursery, picking out the cutest baby, and taking it home in a nice poodle-printed bag. He had little idea about how adoption worked.

Or they could get a puppy.

No, Victor shook his head, his damp fringe spraying droplets all over the mirror. He looked at his reflection with determination. He was going to do this, and he knew exactly how. He wasn’t certain he could pull off a large scale roleplay, but dirty talk he could manage.

He just had to practice with a specific script.

He cleared his throat, giving the mirror a smouldering stare.

‘Yuuri. Prepare yourself.’ Well that just sounded like an invitation to a duel. Victor rubbed his forehead, feeling utterly ridiculous, yet determined. Do it for him.

‘Yuuri, my love. I’m going to fuck you so hard… um, then, I’m gonna, cum in you so hard… s-so much, we will make… little piglet babies…oh my GOD!’ He cringed so hard he had to sit down for a moment and take a few breaths.

He thought he was good at dirty talk, but damn, this was something else. Perhaps dirty talk was impossible to rehearse. Maybe in the heat of the moment it would just come to him somehow. Would there even be a heat of the moment if he said this nonsense right away and laid waste to all boners present?

He had no idea how to approach this.

The last time he felt this unsure was after coming to Hasetsu to see his love and life for the first time after their fated meeting. Back then he had spent a lot of lonely evenings complaining to Makkachin about Yuuri’s sudden inexplicable coldness, and overanalyzing his own failed flirting attempts over horrible Japanese beer.

He even tried to consult the internet, hoping for some inspiration. He found Yuuri’s laptop, typing ‘porn hub’ into google. Yuuri always teased him about typing stuff into google. After he got redirected onto the site, he started typing into the search bar… and to his mild horror the word IMPREGNATION autocompleted itself after the first two letters.

Victor clicked everything shut and sat back on the couch, feeling a little lost.

Well, at least he didn’t laugh, like he promised.

**

After Yuuri came back, dragging a totally exhausted dog behind him, he went straight to bed, forgetting the promised dinner. The day after, he talked to Victor as if nothing happened, and Viktor would believe him, only if Yuuri’s eyes weren’t twice their size, and he wasn’t sweating bullets everytime they spoke. At the rink he immediately threw himself into training, popping quads like a suicidal maniac, not caring about taking falls at all. Everyone noticed there was something wrong with Yuuri. And of course they all glared at Victor. Why did everything automatically have to be his fault?

‘What did you do this time?’ Yakov grumbled at him after Yuuri attempted a quad flip-quad salchow-triple axel combo, tumbled into the mantinel, and got up laughing a lot more hysterically than usual.

‘I didn’t do anything! Why does it always have to be me?’ Victor threw his hands up.

‘Because it IS always you! Your idiot husband is going insane all over my ice, and I won’t believe for one second you don’t have anything to do with it!’

Victor chose not to confront him, and moved to the other side of the rink.

‘Careful with the quads, don’t overdo it!’ he shouted in Yuuri’s direction. The idiot husband gave him a shaky thumbs up, and promptly fell on a quad lutz.

‘If you need help, I will do my best to give you advice.’ Victor wearily turned to the side, greeted by the ever so serious face of Georgi Popovich. ‘Love is a rose, and none is without thorns, but if you learn to hold it right, it will not prick you.’

Victor stared into Georgi’s intensely sincere eyes for a few seconds. Instead of telling him ‘Georgi, what you just said to me was so painful I lost several years of my lifespan, and I would rather take love advice from Makkachin, than from you’, he just clapped the man on his back, and silently walked away.

But apparently, no part of the rink was safe from prying Russians. Mila skated over, closely followed by Yuri, and they both cornered him.

‘It’s hilarious how easy it is to spot when something happens between you two,’ she said, looking thoroughly entertained.

‘More like obnoxious.’ Yuri joined in.

‘Nothing happened between us.’

‘Then why is Katsudon trying to commit suicide by quad flip?’

‘Oh my god, is this an ice rink or an interrogation chamber?’ Victor was getting a little exasperated at this point. ‘I didn’t do anything. I have no idea why he’s getting so worked up over something so silly.’

‘The words of a man who didn’t do anything.’ Mila had the audacity to poke him in the side, and glided away.

‘I don’t give a shit about what happened, ‘ Yuri said before following her, ‘but do something about your pig. If he breaks his spine, I won’t be able to destroy him at Worlds.’

Victor frowned, thinking hard. He hated seeing an anxious Yuuri, both because the last thing he wanted was a sad and upset husband, and because he himself still didn’t know how to deal with Yuuri’s stress issues. The first time he tried playing a psychologist, Yuuri ended up crying his eyes out in a parking lot before an important competition. It has been two years since then, and even now Victor was still stuck at the ‘try to help, end up making it worse, then hug him a lot until it passes’ stage. This situation however, was a bit different, and Victor knew it required a different approach. He got an idea.

‘Yuuri!’ he called across the ice, putting on his shiniest heart shaped smile. ‘What is with this lackluster performance?’

‘I’m sorry! I’ll try again!’ Yuuri bowed frantically, looking flustered.

‘No way. Since you’re not taking it seriously now, you’re getting a skating detention!’ Victor pointed a finger at him triumphantly.

‘Eh?’

‘You will stay here after practice, because you obviously need some private coaching. Until then, go do more stretches.’ Victor beamed at him.

‘Eh???’

Victor pretended he hadn’t heard Mila’s ‘Don’t make it too private, Viktor!’ and Yuri’s ‘If they fuck in here, I’m leaving the country’ and hurried off to the locker room to get some crucial equipment and do some stretches himself.

It didn’t take long for the rink to clear out. The season was just starting, and even Yakov seemed to feel lenient. Victor putting on his skates and annoying everyone with unnecessary coaching advice could also have had something to do with it. He was skating around, like he always did despite being retired, while Yuuri sulked on a bench, looking like a deflated balloon.

‘So!’ Victor clapped his hands together immediately after Yuri slammed the door behind him as the last one to leave. Yuuri jumped up about to make his way towards the center of the rink, but Victor stopped him.

‘Not yet, Yuuri. I want you to watch me first.’

Victor skated over to the old CD player, and inserted a disk he got from his locker. He selected a track, and put it on repeat. The short pause was just enough for him to return to the center of the rink, and he fixed the confused Yuuri with a sultry gaze.

The strum of a guitar filled the space, and Victor was hit with nostalgia, his hands instantly springing into a familiar movement. As the tune of Eros echoed around the rink, he cocked his head at Yuuri, winking at him with a seductive smile. Yuuri’s mouth fell open, and his hands flew up to his face, and he squished his own cheeks with a surprised gasp. Victor fought off the impulse to clutch his heart and keel over, and started moving to the sound of violins. The routine came back to him at once, even though he hadn’t skated it for over two years. It felt like meeting an old friend again. It was special to both of them. Victor kept stealing little glances at Yuuri, who was standing off to the side, looking absolutely entranced, his eyes sparkling. Victor got all giddy at the thought, that he really married his own biggest fan.

Despite the adorable distraction, he smoothly moved through the challenging step sequence, making his way towards Yuuri, stopping in front of him, right as the dramatic hitch of the violin cut through the music.

‘Shall we dance?’ He gently took his hand, kissing it. Yuuri’s face flushed a shade of lovely pink.

‘But, how… together?’ He stammered out.

Victor just pulled him close, and Yuuri let him. He relaxed in Victor’s arms, tension leaving his body for the first time since that evening. Victor twirled them around, holding him tightly, looking into his eyes. He wanted to seduce his Yuuri the best he could. It seemed to be working. Yuuri was staring right back with an enthralled expression.

They missed a lot of the music, but quickly caught on. For a while, they skated in unison next to each other, their jumps impeccably synchronized. The tune culminated, then abruptly ended, leaving them frozen in the finishing pose, mirroring each other. After a short pause, filled with the sound of their heavy breathing, the guitar trilled again. But this time, instead of the opening move, Yuuri skated over to Victor, and pressed his body to his chest, snaking an arm around his neck, looking up at him. The gaze got right into Victor’s head, he grabbed Yuuri’s slim waist a little too firmly, and jerked him closer. Yuuri smiled and bit his lip, putting his hand over Victor’s, squeezing it, making his heart rate pick up. It seemed he couldn’t keep himself from seducing Victor, even though Victor aimed to be the seducer. Or maybe he was just that much receptive to Yuuri’s charm.

They started dancing to the vigorous rhythm together. Despite never having rehearsed a dynamic pair routine, it came naturally to them, and one always moved in a way that allowed the other to complement him. Ever since they met, they had communicated best through skating, and this was a flirty yet passionate conversation. Victor immediately thought that if regular Eros was a game of seduction, pair Eros felt like lovemaking on ice. He loved skating with Yuuri, loved the sound of his breathing in his ears, and the feeling of the lithe body twisting in his arms, making the most wonderful music right in front of him.

The track ended again, but this time, the solitary faux embrace of a finishing pose turned into a real one. They both instinctively leaned in, and kissed.

‘You’re beautiful,’ Yuuri breathed when they split apart, his eyes glazed over.

‘Makes two of us.’ Victor smiled and kissed him again.

They ignored the third replay of Eros entirely, kissing and nuzzling all the way through it. Victor was glad his Yuuri was back with him, squeezing him in a tight hug, not wanting to ever let go. But he had to.

He had other plans for tonight.

Chapter Text

The walk home was brisk and full of pleasant tension. They went hand in hand, getting progressively closer, until they were practically hanging off of each other. The anticipation of intimacy was making Victor’s heart pound, and he couldn’t help but steal little touches off Yuuri here and there, all the way to their building.

They managed to behave until the elevator doors closed behind them, then the floodgates opened. Yuuri all but threw himself at Victor, and Victor grabbed him so enthusiastically he lifted him off his feet. Their kisses were feverish and sloppy, accompanied by the sound of heavy breathing. At one point Yuuri’s hand brushed against Victor’s crotch, and that brief touch was enough to bring him to full mast.

As soon as the elevator opened again, they stumbled out, groping each other like two sex-crazed teenagers. Victor barely managed to unlock the door with a tantalizingly amorous Yuuri latched onto him, already undoing his belt while fondling him through his pants. They backed into their hallway, slamming the doors shut, and Victor immediately hoisted Yuuri up and pressed him against the wall. Yuuri immediately wrapped his legs around Victor’s waist, and started grinding against him, while Victor ran his hands all over his firm ass.

‘You’re so needy, love,’ he hummed in a low voice. ‘You really want it, don’t you?’

‘Yes…’ Yuuri gasped.

‘You want me to take you? To fuck you good?’

‘Yes!’

Victor tightened his hold on Yuuri, and carried him to the bedroom, while the latter tangled his hands into his hair, moaning softly into his ear. Victor was suddenly really grateful that Yuuri insisted on taking a shower at the rink. If he started fussing about it now, it would definitely break the spell.

After they made it to the bedroom, Victor threw Yuuri onto their bed, and climbed on top. They were a complete mess, grinding against each other roughly, practically ripping each other’s clothes off. As Victor stood up to take off his shirt, Yuuri yanked his pants down, freeing his dick, and he hungrily slid it right into his hot mouth. A raspy moan rose from Victor’s throat, and he cupped the back of Yuuri’s head, letting his hair slip through his fingers, before pushing gently forward. Yuuri dug his fingernails into Victor’s thighs, licking him messily all over, then taking him in deep, flitting his eyes up to look at him. It took a lot of willpower to tear him off his leaking cock, but Victor somehow managed to do it. He pushed him back down and stood over him. Yuuri obediently lay back, flushed and aroused, watching Victor’s every move. Victor grabbed him by the hips, and tugged him closer to the edge of the bed, maybe a bit more roughly than he intended. Yuuri gasped, but the lustful expression on his face showed he was very much into it.

‘Spread your legs for me,’ Victor said in a husky voice.

Yuuri’s thighs immediately parted. He looked so incredibly inviting, all ready to get fucked until he screamed, Victor could hardly wait. He hastily uncapped the bottle of lube he fished out from under the bed, and poured a generous amount sloppily between Yuuri’s legs, making him squeal in surprise. Despite the heated moment they found themselves in, Victor didn’t allow himself to just ram in straight away like he so desperately wanted to. Instead he leaned over him, and started kissing him while putting his fingers to work. Yuuri was obviously loving it, rocking his hips upwards and moaning into his mouth. Victor tried to do a thorough job, but Yuuri had a different idea.

‘Put it in, Victor, please, I’m ready now, just put it in already.’

Victor couldn’t resist such a plea if he tried. He took out his fingers, and pushed his dick in to replace them. There was little resistance, Yuuri was clearly eager. But once he was fully inside, everything tightened back up as Yuuri ardently took him in. He arched his back, and rotated his hips quite obscenely, hinting at what exactly he wanted from Victor. But Victor didn’t give in this time, determined to start off nice and slow. He lay atop of Yuuri, just enjoying the feeling of being inside him, and the way his lean firm body moved restlessly against his. Then he leaned in close to his ear. It was now or never.

‘You know Yuuri…’ He made sure to keep his voice as deep and seductive as possible. ‘I really wouldn’t mind getting you pregnant.’

Yuuri’s breath hitched, and he went still.

‘If I could, I definitely would,’ Victor pressed on, settling on slow languid thrusts, sliding in and out smoothly, kissing Yuuri’s neck in between words. ‘Put a little something in you to show the world we belong together.’

Yuuri let out a strangled noise and his breathing deepened. Victor noted he suddenly got even tighter.

‘I know you could take it.’ He gently nipped at Yuuri’s shoulder, lifting his ass higher, pressing in deeper. ‘Just look at your perfect wide hips. I can’t get enough of them.’

‘V-Victor...?’

This wasn’t at all as awkward as Victor expected it to be. He was actually kind of getting into it as well. Yuuri’s responding so beautifully to his dirty talk only encouraged him more. And the results of his work showed right away. Yuuri’s breathing was labored, pupils blown wide, and he kept raising his hips trying to get his stiffened cock to rub up against Viktor’s stomach, leaking all over him. Victor wasted no more time, straightened back up, and set an intense pace, slamming his hips forwards, angling Yuuri’s body just right to hit where it counted. The sight of him, splayed on the bed, hair tussled, face flushed, legs indecently spread, dick hard as a rock, was downright sinful. Yuuri was gripping onto the sheets for dear life, moaning loudly and lewdly, enjoying the hell out the thorough fucking he was getting.

Victor dared to take it a step further.

‘Who knows, maybe if I fuck you hard enough, you really will get pregnant,’ he purred in a low sensual tone.

That seemed to be the last push Yuuri needed. He suddenly cried out, squeezing Victor’s waist with his thighs in an iron grip, as an orgasm ripped through him unexpectedly and he came all over himself. Victor relished in the sight of his pretty husband writhing on his cock in pure pleasure, the feeling of his walls clenching around him pulling him dangerously close to his own finish.

‘I’m going to come, Yuuri,’ he panted. ‘Tell me what you want.’

‘やって, ヴィクトル... 中に全部を-‘ Yuuri unwittingly slipped into his own language, still not down from his intense high. Thankfully, Victor was pretty sure he knew exactly what he was asking for.

‘You want me to fill you up, don’t you, Yuuri?’

‘Y-yes!’

Victor finally allowed himself to fully focus on the perfect feel of the wet heat around his dick, ready to let loose. The fact that Yuuri was watching him intently helped a lot. It took just a few more thrusts before Victor reached his limit. He fell forward, lifting Yuuri’s ass up with one arm, the other one landing besides his head to brace himself as he came hard with a grunt, while Yuuri stared into his face with a blissed out expression, eagerly taking everything Victor was pouring into him. After he was completely spent, Victor collapsed on top of him, burying his face into his tousled hair, panting heavily.

‘I’m not pulling out yet,’ he breathed, kissing Yuuri’s sweaty shoulder. ‘It would be a waste if anything leaked out, wouldn’t it? You need to keep it all inside you, Yuuri. You know why.’

Yuuri immediately wrapped his legs around Victor again, pulling him close into a full body embrace. Victor rested all his weight against him, sated and pleasantly exhausted, lying on top of him until he went soft, only then he carefully slipped out.

‘Keep it in,’ he whispered with a devious smile on his lips. Yuuri sighed blissfully, and his eyes fluttered shut and Victor took the opportunity to admire his well fucked husband. The post-sex afterglow, swollen lips and flushed face definitely suited him. He couldn’t help but feel very pleased that he was responsible for this.

After a quick cleanup of the mess they made, Victor pulled a blanket over them both, cuddling up to Yuuri, who started playing with his hair absentmindedly.

‘Thank you, Victor,’ Yuuri suddenly said in a nervous voice, and placed a tiny kiss on top of Victor’s head. ‘Thanks for doing this, even though it’s so…you know...’

‘Yuuri!’ Victor lit up like a praised puppy. ‘Of course I’d do it! I really enjoyed it too.’

‘Y-you did?’

‘Absolutely.’

Yuuri shimmied in his arms, looking bashful, but happy. Victor was being honest. The play turned out to be unexpectedly sexy. Not only was seeing Yuuri so desperately aroused a real treat, but the idea, that his desire for Victor went this far made his love for him burn even hotter.

‘Would you really want to have my children?’ he teased.

‘No! I mean… yes?’ Yuuri blushed furiously. ‘It’s just a silly idea, and also impossible.’

‘You know, maybe God prevented us from having kids because they would be too perfect,’ Victor mused.

‘I love how humble you are.’

‘No, it’s true. Our son would be too beautiful,’ Victor sighed dreamily. ‘A tiny little Yuuri to win all the gold medals.’

‘Or we could have triplets.’ Yuuri joked, finally looking at ease.

‘Named Salchow, Flip, and Rittberger?’ Victor deadpanned.

‘Victor…’ Yuuri tried to sound reprimanding but his laughter betrayed him. ‘Please stop making fun of Yuuko for that already.’

‘Never.’

‘Oh really?’ Yuuri’s eyes twinkled devilishly. ‘The names wouldn’t even matter anyway, because I bet you would forget you even had a baby the very second its born. ‘

‘Yu~uri! How can you even say something like that?‘

‘As soon as the midwife handed him to you, you’d ask if he wants a commemorative photo.’

‘Come on, you swore to me you got over that already!’

Yuuri playfully rolled onto his back, looking at Victor upside down with his finger pressed to his mouth, grinning ear to ear, making Viktor fall in love all over again.

‘You would forget him in an Armani shop,’ he offered.

‘Much better than you forgetting him on a bench in Barcelona.’ Victor decided to play along equally dirty.

‘You would let Chris babysit him.’

‘What, are you worried we could find our kid hanging off a stripper pole pouring Cabernet Sauvignon all over the place?’

‘Low blow!’ Yuuri sat up with an expression faux outrage.

‘If he fell and scraped his knees, you’d brush away his hair to check if he’s crying from both eyes.’

‘Victor!!’ Yuuri sputtered, immediately reached for a pillow and whacked a laughing Victor in the face. ‘You’re getting a little vicious here.’

‘Shut me up?’ Victor offered with a radiant smile. Yuuri leaned in and kissed him, gently and tenderly, making his heart swell up with a feeling he never wanted to forget.

‘And what do you think of getting a puppy?’