Chapter 1: Coffee Shop + Fake Dating = Pining
"For the last time, no means no," he hissed, scowling at the messy-haired man. The man squinted at him in disgust, making a 'hmph' sound.
"It's not like you're dating someone, so what's the problem?" the offending man pouted (and not in a cute way).
"Whether I'm dating someone or not does not change the fact that I am not interested," he huffs at him, wishing he could force him to leave with just a sour expression. The man didn't seem to want to grant his wish anytime soon. "You can get in trouble for this. They call this sexual harassment in most states, in case you weren't aware." the bearded man warns, frown deepening.
"I think you're in trouble for being so attractive, honestly," the man flirts haphazardly, and the harassed male rolls his eyes at him.
"Leave. Now." he growls, tightening his jaw as he slams the takeaway coffee cup on the counter between them. It's the man's turn to roll his eyes as he picks up his coffee and leaves, bell signalling his departure. The tension rolls out of his shoulders just as another customer saunters up to the counter. "Welcome to Caffeine Dreams, how can I help you?" spills out of his mouth, almost naturally. The customer smirks at him, so he readies himself for another bout of flirting.
"Hey, Derek. How ya doin', buddy? Greenberg bugging you again?" Derek's gaze snaps up to the customer's face, confirming his suspicions. In front of him is a mole-covered man, brown mess of hair sticking up in several different directions. Whiskey coloured eyes stare back at him, a lazy smile set on his features.
"Stiles," he says instead of answering. Stiles' grin grows wider. They stay like that for a while, before Stiles clears his throat and puts his arms on the counter to prop himself up.
"With whipped cream and cinnamon dusting."
"Oh, c'mon honey, don't play coy."
"I'm not being coy in any way, shape, or form," Derek argues. Greenberg sighs at him.
"Just go to a bar with me sometime, we'd have great fun, and if you don't like it, you don't have to go again," he offers, leaning over the counter a little more than would be considered polite.
"I've already said no to you and you still won't leave me alone, so why the hell would I trust you?" Derek's eyebrows knit together, frustrated. The bell tinkles above the door and Derek barely registers someone come up behind Greenberg.
"Hun, you're not saying no. You don't actually mean it." Greenberg whines, as if trying to convince Derek that he doesn't understand what he's saying.
"Are you calling me an idiot?" Derek counters, that thought in mind.
"Hey, Derek, how's it going?" a cheery voice pipes in. Derek's eyes wander toward the source of the noise, which seems to be coming from behind Greenberg. Of course, it's Stiles.
"Back again, I see," Derek internally rolls his eyes. He's grateful for Stiles being there, though, because Greenberg is now looking between them like a lost puppy.
"Greenberg, would you take your coffee and go? You're holding up the line." Stiles says when he notices the coffee Derek had placed on the bench long ago. There isn't actually a line, but Greenberg seems to understand and leaves, but not before shooting Stiles a dirty look.
"Thanks." Derek says quietly. Stiles grins in response.
"Ever gonna do something about him?" Stiles asks. Derek is about to reply grumpily when an idea pops into his head.
"Actually, I just thought of something," he replies.
"And what is that?"
"You should date me."
"What?" Stiles splutters, eyes wide.
"Before you start freaking out, I don't mean for real," he explains.
"Oh." Stiles replies, shoulders sagging.
"Yeah. Anyway, I figure if I have someone I'm dating, he might leave me alone," Derek reasons, searching Stiles' face for acceptance.
"Like-- You want me to fake date you?" Stiles asks, looking bewildered.
"No, Stiles, I want you to murder Greenberg in cold blood." Derek retorts with a roll of his eyes. Stiles looks at him for a moment, seeming to seriously consider that idea.
"But how could you get him to believe you? Are you gonna print out a card that says, 'In a Relationship with Stiles Stilinski, Not Available for Flirtation'?" Derek squints at him.
"Well, actually, I was going to say that we should just act like lovers, but I guess that works too," he monotones sarcastically.
"Like hugging and flirting and shit like that?" Stiles questions, eyes narrowed. Derek nods his head slowly, while giving Stiles an incredulous look.
“This is a terrible idea, and it didn’t even come from me,” Stiles complains. They’re sitting across from each other, feet just touching underneath the table, two coffee cups on the table. Greenberg is sitting a few tables away, giving Stiles a dirty look that changes to a flirtatious smile whenever Derek glances at him. It’s quite impressive, honestly.
“Shut up and stick with the plan, Stiles.” Derek orders, looking thoroughly unimpressed. Stiles sticks his tongue out at him childishly before taking a sip of his caramel dream. He moans shamelessly and Derek glares.
“What? It’s great. Here, look, you should try it,” he says as he hands it to Derek. The bearded man raises a brow before taking an experimental sip. He makes a face and hands it back quickly.
“I’m pretty sure that is made out of 90% sugar.” Stiles rolls his eyes. His hands make grabby motions toward Derek’s drink and Derek looks worried as he takes a sip.
“Dude.” Derek looks sheepish. “This is sweeter than mine and-- Wait, is that green tea?” he asks, looking confused. Derek looks away and is he embarrassed? That’s simply too adorable for such a scruffy, growly man.
Chapter 2: YouTuber!Stiles
Summary: The squad are all YouTubers, also Stiles' subscribers ship him and Derek
He opened up the laptop, set up the camera and hit record.
“Hey guys! Stiles here. Today is Friday Friends, which again, I agree is a very cheesy name, but I couldn’t think of anything better, so stop judging me.” he squinted at the camera, shaking his head in disapproval before he called his friend in.
“Everyone welcome my boy Scotty! …Again!” Stiles says with a dramatic flair of his hands.
“I’m pretty sure they’re gonna start thinking I’m your only friend, dude,” Scott comments, plopping into the chair beside Stiles.
Stiles gasps in mock hurt before saying, “Rude! I totally have more friends than just you! There’s Lydia--”
“--I’m pretty sure she just hangs out with you to shut you up--”
“I will hit you. I have Erica too! And then there’s Allison and Kira!”
“Dude, do you only have female friends?”
“Is that an insult?”
“What? No! No, uh, having female friends is great!” Scott says, flustered. Stiles smirks at him, knowing he’s won this argument.
“Anyway, fine! Next friend I’ll introduce someone beside from you,” he says, and Scott gives him a wounded look.
“You’re replacing me?” he asks, placing his hand over his heart dramatically.
“Shh, don’t worry about it. Anyway, moving on…”
Stiles really regrets saying that on camera. Erica is on a date with Boyd this Friday, along with Allison, Isaac, Scott, and Kira. It’s like a triple date and he hates them for it. God, if only he’d shut his big mouth. Now he’s going to have to tell the fans he is, in actuality, forever alone. He grumbles quietly, pouting at the camera, as if it was its fault.
“Why me?” he muttered quietly to himself. After rubbing a hand over his face, an idea popped into his head. Yes, this was probably a terrible idea, but it was worth a shot if it would save any scrap of dignity he had left (which wasn’t much after the fans learned he would scream from seeing a spider -- Scott had pranked him once with a fake one).
“Is there a reason why you’re calling me?”
“Uh, kind of?”
“Out with it.”
“Seriously? This is what you needed me for?”
“It’s a good cause, okay, now shut up and sit down.” he huffed as he hit record.
“Hey guys! So, as promised, I’m introducing another friend! Well, in his case, not really friends, but more ‘I-tolerate-you-because-I-have-to,’ even though I think I am a bundle of fun, to be honest.” His guest snorted at that. “Anyway, this is Mr. Sourwolf!” A hit landed on his shoulder. “Ow! Okay, fine, his name is Derek.” he glares at the bearded man.
“Wow, inspirational,” Stiles monotones. Derek glares at him.
The response was not as expected. He expected maybe a few comments saying how he was hot or something, but not this. ‘Bring Derek back next week!’ and ‘We want more Derek!’ were just a few of the comments.
He’s wearing a shit-eating grin when he calls Derek up again. As usual, Derek answers with a huff.
“They want you back.”