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Tony's Little Black Book (Big Heroes)

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Hannibal had wondered how Tony would take his incarceration. He adored his husband, but the man did have an Italian temper when provoked. Hannibal hid his marriage for obvious reasons. The only one in the team who even knew about Tony was Face, and the man was still sore that he couldn't flirt with Tony successfully. 

The judge read the sentence out, and Face turned to his leader, "Boss, Tony is going to kill you."

Hannibal chuckled, "He just might."

He hoped he could persuade his spouse to visit him at some point in the first year as he would never be able to put his plan into action. The plan was going to be dicey with the players involved.




Tony could not believe he was doing this. It had taken him six months to get over his anger and annoyance at Hannibal being so stupid. Still, he'd made vows of  for better and for worse,  so here he was at the gates of the Federal Prison. The only trouble was that he wasn't here to interview a suspect but to see his husband. 

He'd parked the car when the phone call interrupted his thinking. He was more than aware of Gibbs' belief that was rest was for the weak, but Tony was re-establishing boundaries in his work/personal life. "Boss. It's my weekend off."

"Why are you at a Military prison?" Gibbs demanded to know. 

Tony could have taken this conversation in many directions, like how stalking your team is inappropriate. Tony knew that sometimes the truth was a better defence than a lie. "To see my husband."

"I will get the truth out of you on Monday."

"Maybe," Tony evaded and then did the most infuriating thing he could do - he turned Gibbs off. He would probably get a head slap for it, but his mind was on his errant husband currently. He would deal with Gibbs at a later date. 

He went through signing in with the guards and got a few looks when he signed in as a spouse and surrendered his weapons. 

He lost his patience with the incredulous glares, so he made a quip, "I want to hear his side before I decide whether to divorce him."

"Didn't you know? They are all innocent in here."

Tony gave them a rueful grin, as he had heard it on multiple occasions in his career. The thing is that Hannibal wasn't dirty; he was crazy and specialised in the ridiculous, but he wouldn't betray his country. 

So in Tony's mind, that meant someone had framed his husband. If that was the case, they both had an enemy. 




Tony sat at the cold table and looked around, waiting for Hannibal. He still wasn't sure whether he was going to kiss him or punch him. 

Tony could see the weariness, "You better have a good reason for being so stupid."

Hannibal kissed his cheek, figuring he hadn't earned the right. "It's good to see you, Darlin."

"Don't darling me, I am doing my best not to strangle you," Tony replied, letting the hurt show on his face. 

Hannibal held his hands up in a placating gesture and showed a hidden piece of paper that Tony knew would be obscured from the camera. The note just said  tetracodine 5cc infused cigar. 

"You would be entitled, but I would prefer a proper kiss."

"You got some convincing to do, oh husband mine, before I do anything close to it," Tony assured Hannibal.  

What was impressive about the whole conversation was their faces outwardly showed a happy conversation. 

Hannibal sighed, "Look, you told me that Lynch was not a friend, and I should have listened to you. I just thought it was interagency rivalry bullshit."

Tony shook his head, and  I told you so  should have been satisfying. "You've always said avoid douchey idiots."

"No, it's like you said never trust twisted psychos," Hannibal replied with a tired smile.

In their time off, they would share stories of what they could discuss. There was one benefit to their relationship - they had ridiculously high-security clearance. Well, Hannibal did have it before getting sent down for murder and theft. If they ever discussed the FBI, it was always as douches because there was no other way to describe Sacks. Hannibal had strong feelings about the CIA, which is why the moniker of twisted psychos stuck. Thanks to his acquaintance with Kort, Tony could honestly say that he didn't have any higher opinion than his husband.

"You know when news of our marriages breaks, this is going to make my life extremely difficult." Tony reminded his husband in a resigned tone. Tony could have divorced him, but it was a statement by choosing to stand with him. He just hoped this wouldn't come to bite him on the ass. 

Hannibal looked sheepish, "I will make this right, Tony." 

"Your grovelling is going to make Hercules 12 labours look like a cakewalk," Tony assured Hannibal, letting him know that there was some hope. 




Tony was a good husband, so he decided to buy his man a poison-laced cigar. Oh, and because he was an excellent husband. He started to use his favours to figure out exactly who had set up his husband. Some things in this life were unforgivable, like denying Tony quality time with his hubby.  

Kort listened as Tony gave him a story and a half. "You want to go to war with Agent Lynch?" 

Tony shook his head, "No, Hannibal is capable of that on his own. I want to have the right information so he doesn't get blindsided  again ."

Kort hated Lynch as he'd stolen the assignment he'd wanted, and as a result, he was in rainy England for way too long. It would have been a sweet deal for some, but for an operator like Kort - England was hell on Earth. Kort's posting was the CIA's twisted version of punishment. 

"You don't like conjugal's?" Kort asked, and Tony could hear the leer in his voice. 

Tony rolled his eyes because if Kort were looking to bait him, then he would have to do better, "I'm a faithful guy, so that is not an issue."

Kort wasn't going to change his personality for anyone, so he tried to needle Tony, "And yet none of your team believes you can keep a woman for more than a week."

Tony was more than up to the task of answering that snark, "Well, there not wrong in a way. It's not my fault they never asked about men."

You couldn't fault the logic Tony used, and it showed how adept he was at manipulating his surroundings. After all, all of the MCRT believed he was a skirt-chasing frat boy, and that was what he wanted them to continue to think. 

Kort chuckled, "You are a sneaky son of a bitch."

"From you, I will take that as a compliment."

"And I will be magnanimous and get you the info you need. If you do something reckless, you should know that there is a DOD agent who is sniffing around the original case, a Lieutenant Sosa."




Hannibal looked at the post he'd received. The note was in a backwards cursive style. It was fancy and elegant in a way that would ironically be difficult to catch. He opened up the package to see a book drop out. Hannibal had to smile at the book choice - Art of War, as Tony had given him a copy as part of their first anniversary. The book was not his copy as that was considerably more expensive. And yet, it was the best gift a husband could ask for - a poisoned cigar.

He looked at the guard with a grin and let his cigar and savoured it. His day was going to get seriously weird, and he wasn't going to regret a single moment. 

He felt his heart start to slow and calmly lay on his bed, blowing smoke reasons. There were some inventive ways to escape prison but playing dead was up there with the best. 




Tony was at work on Monday just like he promised. He watched the team stare in shock as Gibbs grabbed hold of his arm and dragged him to the lift. Tony shook him off, "I don't appreciate being manhandled like a perp!"

Tony had let a lot of shit slide, and he was starting to realise it needed to stop.

Gibbs didn't acknowledge what he'd said, and that pissed Tony off more. He was mentally adding it to his resignation letter of all the reasons he was getting the hell out of dodge (it was the draft title of his resignation letter). "You went to the military prison on Saturday. Why?"

Tony rolled his eyes at the attitude and didn't give Gibbs the satisfaction of the information he was seeking. "I'm entitled to my private life, Gibbs."

Gibbs shook his head, "You would have said something to the team."

Tony snorted and let his genuine emotions go as it was more in his favour right now, "Why should I? None of you ever want to know, and if I mention anything, it gets thrown in my face. A guy gets a clue after a while, Gibbs."

Gibbs paused for a second and reflected, "You used to call me boss."

Tony slapped the button on the elevator back up to the bullpen. "Yeah, I did. You ever ask yourself why I stopped?"

Tony said nothing else and went back to work like it was a normal start. "McStare, what have you got?"

"What was all that about?" McGee asked, not focussing on his work but rather what gossip he could figure out and was it to his advantage.

Tony shrugged and wanted to laugh in the junior agents face because if Gibbs wasn't getting an answer, then Tim sure as hell wasn't getting anything. "Gibbs thinks he gets to know I get up to on the weekend."

A shadow took over his workspace, and he looked up, and with a . "What can I do for you, Agent Sosa?"

"How the hell did your husband walk out of prison?" She demanded to know and didn't care to modulate her voice, so most in the bullpen now knew about Tony's marital status. 

Tony smirked, "How does someone walk? You don't want me to answer, do you?"

He could hear the absolute silence from the rest of his team, who for once was struck silent. Tony was going to savour this moment on multiple levels. It seemed like a few of his masks were about to be torn away, so he may as well show his true personality. It was yet another clue that his time with NCIS was getting drastically shorter by the second.  

She tilted her head to the side as if she was analysing his every move. Tony did not doubt that she was, and also no doubt, comparing him to his husband. "It was the fact he was declared dead first that I find intriguing."

Tony's smirk grew and was deliberately vague. "Well, you know what they say. The dead can't rest when wrongfully convicted. They might want to get revenge on those who set them up."

Ziva couldn't stay quiet any longer. "Tony, who is this? And why does she believe your gay?"

Tony snickered, "I am not gay. I am Bi. You never asked, and I never correct your mistakes."

McGee shook his head, and he looked like his whole world had ended. "You're not married!"

Tony flicked a ring out of his wallet. "Yeah, I am. Sorry, I didn't invite you, but I wanted to enjoy my happy day."

Sosa was curious, "Who was there?" 

"The team."

The MCRT members bristled because it was clear that they were not the team in question, so who did Tony trust more than them? 

Gibbs had focussed on a different aspect. "Why was your husband locked up?" 

Tony pointed at the person, Sosa, who seemed determined to turn his life upside down. "You should ask her. She was the one who found the false evidence that saw him locked up."

Sosa was getting more frustrated because that whole case had been a clusterfuck from beginning to end. The only satisfaction in her demotion was in seeing Hannibal and his team convicted for their crimes. 

"You are not saying that you think they were innocent?" She snorted in derision, "You're not that naive, are you?"

Tony knew how to hit below the belt and decided to continue with this game. "I know that I believed my husband, but you wouldn't give, Face the time of day."

She sneered. "How did Smith do it?" 

Tony shrugged as he was hardly going to reveal the plan because she asked nicely. He played it cool, "Look, I visited him on Saturday. And I got he was sorry, and he was going to prove his innocence and then begged me not to divorce him."

"And what did you say back?" She asked as it hardly made sense the convict and the Agent. It sounded like the start of a sordid romance novel. 

Tony smirked, "I told them that his grovelling is going to make Hercules 12 labours look like a cakewalk. I can be vengeful when I want to be, and his idiocy could make my life difficult. Like, for instance, now."

She could tell the team didn't know what to make about anything to do with their conversation. So, it said to her that the man in front of her knew how to fool even professionals. She suspected that he was worse than any of the spooks who liked to play with the Army. 

"You seem too calm for an Agent who knows a dangerous convict is on the loose."

Tony shook his head, "Nope, you see, he was a well-respected Colonel in the army, and I was not the one who wronged him, so I have nothing to fear."

Sosa understood what he was implying, "He is going after who?" 

Tony zinged back, "It was your case. You should be telling me."

She shook her head, "Oh no, you're coming with me. I've already cleared it with the higher-ups."

Tony wanted to roll his eyes because Vance would welcome the chance to offload him for some time. And now Gibbs was standing up, objecting because their boss had never learned to share his toys. 

Tony stepped around Gibbs because this was going to plan. Tony needed Sosa to want him to liaise with her for the second part of the plan. "You're army CID, and you already have workers you don't need me."

She snorted with incredulity. She may be Army, but she knew of the man's reputation. "I need your ingenuity and insight to make sure this doesn't turn into a bloodbath."

"If you think I am going to help you arrest him, you're mistaken." Tony wasn't going to help them screw Hannibal over a second time. If he could prove their innocence, then he was more than willing to use his favours to ensure he stayed free. 

Sosa impressed him even if she was a little inflexible, "I could see you suspended for such comments."

Tony was smug because it was an empty threat, and they both knew it. It was evident that she had done her research, "No, you couldn't. I have favours for days."

"And yet you never used them for Hubby," She needled.

He sighed, "He trusted the system, but now he realises it is not perfect."

"If he is going Lone Ranger. We need to know." She could guess he'd want his team, but they'd been sent across the country. Their teamwork skills were legendary, so they didn't want to give them a chance to cause combined mischief. 

"The only people who should be worried are the people who framed him," Tony replied silkily, and Ziva reached for a knife which made Tony smirk. He wasn't trying to unsettle Ziva, but that was a happy bonus. 

"And who would that be?" Although she had a sinking feeling, she knew the answer. 

"Morrison and Lynch." Tony offered, knowing that it wasn't enough information for his team to try and intrude on his life. 

She glared, "Morrison's dead."

"And I'm supposed to be a widower," Tony replied calmly. 

She growled, "I want answers."

Tony stood up, "Shall we go and get them?" 

McGee demanded, "What about us?" He didn't get why Tony seemed to have a whole other life they didn't know about before. 

Tony knew this would wind up the junior Agent, and that was hardly a deterrent. "What about you? Sorry, McGeek, this is not your adventure."  

Hannibal was going to owe him into the next century.