Over the course of three days, Nick discovers that showing casual affection towards someone you desperately want to put your mouth on is pretty fucking difficult. If he didn’t know before the convention that his crush on Griffin is wildly out of hand, when he watches back the footage of them together, it’s painfully, embarrassingly obvious. Every gesture and expression spells Nick like likes Griffin. His eyes might as well be hearts.
Now, they’re an hour into their terrible, wonderful idea of podcasting from a hot tub while drunk off their asses. It gets away from them pretty quickly, and Nick wonders how the hell they’re going to cut together something that doesn’t include the point where pushing each other’s buttons tips into him touching Griffin and Griffin leaning into it. Even without Waluigi body pillows, he knows he’s truly fucked.
The camera is off, their co-workers have disappeared, and they are well beyond the point of drinking hard liquor at which Griffin predicted messiness. This could just be guys being dudes in a hot tub except it’s not, because there’s flirting and then there’s... whatever they’re doing right now. Griffin keeps looking at him.
Like, looking at him.
Nick is good at a lot of things, but resisting temptation isn’t fucking one of them. This is it, Nick thinks, he’s going to die and it’ll be Griffin’s fault, as he always knew.
‘I’m gonna do it, I’m gonna take my fucking shirt off,’ he announces, throwing caution to the wind.
‘We said no nips! I’m contractually obligated to wear discreet nipple coverage at all times.’
‘That’s so weird, because I just got a call from your boss, who is me now, actually, and he said that’s bullshit.’
‘This is my fully erect, nude body,’ says Griffin, before slapping a hand to his forehead and groaning.
‘Oh God, Nick, I am so fucking drunk. And so hot.’
‘You are both,’ says Nick, indistinctly from within the sodden t-shirt halfway over his head, which earns a bark of laughter.
He flings it off and flicks his hair back, and watches Griffin struggle out of his clinging shirt. He takes in Griffin’s soft lines, just on the edge of chubby, and slightly flushed chest, and wants harder than he ever has done in his life.
‘Fuckin’ - fuck, my glasses!’ Griffin yelps as they topple from his face.
Nick moves quickly to grab at them, and puts them straight on.
‘Hi, I’m Griffin McElroy and oh boy, I absolutely can’t see for shit,’ he says, pushing the glasses down his nose and surveying Griffin over the top of them.
‘Y’know, this establishes that you’re super hot with or without,’ he carries on, lit up by the smile on Griffin’s face.
‘Jesus, Nick. How much have you had?’
‘Um, it’s hard to say. Ask me how I feel about Tony Hawk.’
‘Okay bud, how do you feel about Tony Hawk?’
‘I want him to fuck me real bad.’
Griffin laughs with his whole body, head thrown back, and collapses into Nick’s shoulder. It sends waves of pleasant tingling over the surface of his skin.
‘I mean, I feel like I should quantify that -’ he tries, already blushing because what in the goddamn fuck is he even saying.
‘No, no, you do, that’s what makes it so fucking good. Oh my God.’
Griffin takes the opportunity to grab his glasses from the end of Nick’s nose and crams them back on his face. There is a pause, while they make the kind of eye contact that makes Nick’s stomach do a sweet kick flip into the abyss.
The moment passes when Griffin says ‘Tony Hawk,’ in a strangled voice and is totally gone for the next minute, but they’re that bit closer. Nick doesn’t move away, doesn’t think he could if he tried.
‘I guess I won’t see you again for a while, huh,’ says Griffin, more to the night sky than Nick.
‘Um, not until winter?’ December 7th, to be exact, he thinks.
‘When I think about it, it’s so fucking weird that I only see you in these like, bizarre liminal environments where we’re both totally out of our comfort zones and working the whole time.’
‘Yeah dude. Like, E3 has basically been one big fever dream, but don’t get me wrong, I’ve had a fucking good time with you. I don’t even want to get back to San Fran in... oh Jesus, seven hours.’
‘Bud, I’m super not stoked about saying goodbye.’ Griffin pauses for a moment. ‘We could actually, like, see each other. I mean, we could see each other... more often. Like -’
‘For real?’ he blurts without even thinking, and oh God why is he like this, why can’t he just say good words and not bad ones.
‘For sure for real,’ says Griffin with a warm intensity that catches him off guard.
Nick feels a surge of adrenaline flood through him. He is so hyperaware of the points of contact between them, that he forgets to reply, but Griffin carries on falteringly.
‘This is – legitimately, the best con experience I’ve had, and you’re – you’re a big part of that.’
His heart soars.
‘Wow, fuck. Uh, I – that’s really good. To know.’ He puts his hands up to his face and squeezes his eyes shut, and wants to sink beneath the water because he’s forgotten how to words.
‘Hey, Nicholas?’ Griffin bumps their shoulders together.
‘Mmhmm?’ Nick peeks out through his fingers.
‘Can you stop being so fucking cute for like a second?’
Nick huffs out a laugh.
He lowers his hands, and tries to remember how to breathe. Griffin is looking at him, cheeks flushed, and Nick feels like they’re teetering on the edge of whatever this is now.
All he can think about are the places their skin is touching.
‘Griffin...’ he begins, with no clear idea of what he might say after that, and he turns to look at him. Griffin shifts at the same moment, and suddenly they’re right in each other’s space, faces inches apart, and neither one moves.
His pulse is racing.
Time slows to a stop while their gaze lingers, but then his eyes drop to Griffin’s mouth and he really, really wants to kiss him.
‘Can I kiss you?’ he says, stupidly.
‘Fuck,’ Griffin breathes. ‘Hell yeah, dude.’
Nick closes the gap and presses their lips together, easy and slow.
It is soft, and sweet, and so good.
They’re still for a moment, and Nick starts to pull back, but Griffin moans quietly and chases his mouth. The sound sends a frisson through his whole body, because he knows it, he’s chased that sound with the distance of thousands of miles between them. Griffin moves around and backs him into the cool tile, which, okay, this is something he likes, a lot. The next breath Nick takes emerges with a gasp as Griffin kisses his mouth open and licks over and past his lower lip in earnest.
His skin practically hums with electricity when Griffin deepens the kiss and wraps his arms around him. Griffin strokes through the short hair at the back of his neck and the contact sends flares to every pleasure receptor Nick has in what feels like his entire body. Nick moves a hand down through the water, settling on that soft hip; strokes his thumb down gently over the hipbone before digging in a little just underneath the waistband of Griffin’s shorts, where he’s been wanting to kiss him for days after catching a glimpse of smooth skin when his shirt rode up. Griffin bucks into it, and pulls them flush. Nick is hard as hell and chasing friction when their hips meet and he feels like he shorts out for just a moment. He makes a noise he didn’t know he could.
He pants into Griffin’s mouth and rests their foreheads together.
Griffin disentangles himself and places kisses along the edge of Nick’s jaw before settling back far enough to see his face.
His lips are parted and wet, his eyes wide, short hair already a mess. Nick can feel the colour high on his cheeks, knows he must look the same.
‘Nick, talk to me. We can take it slower. We can stop,’ says Griffin gently.
‘It’s just – a lot. I get overstimulated easy. I want this,’ he replies, and Griffin nods.
‘Keep me in the loop, bud.’
‘Mmhmm. We good?’
‘Holy shit, we’re so good, I, I want you – I want you to keep doing that thing to my hip because fuck, Nick. This is good.’
‘Okay – I – anything you wanna do,’ he says, and Griffin is reeling him in again, and Nick follows, pliable and fucking melting at the touch.
Their mouths meet again, but it’s different, because everything is suddenly so much hotter and closer. Nick drags his thumb over Griffin’s hip firmly, ready when he jerks his hips forwards again. The friction makes them both moan way too loudly and Griffin claps a hand over Nick’s mouth.
‘I never thought I’d have to fucking say this, but we’re being inconsiderate porno neighbours,’ whispers Griffin urgently, while Nick is introduced to how much he really likes having Griffin’s hand over his mouth. He flicks his eyes at Griffin, who notices because of course he does.
‘So... nod if you wanna take this inside?’ Griffin asks, with the familiar cajoling tone that he always uses when he asks Nick for something he wants.
Nick nods. It feels really good and his brain is fizzing pleasantly. He definitely wants to do whatever Griffin wants to do.
Luckily, what Griffin wants to do is haul them out of the hot tub onto the patio, throw him a towel and drag them inside.
Chapter 2: make it feel like the first time
‘I guess it’s actually a good thing that I have an intimate knowledge of your kinks,’ says Nick.
at last i am free
thank you for the love and encouragement
these events are non-canonical
They get as far as the door to Nick’s room without coming across any of their co-workers, but it is only there he thinks of his soggy socks, and he falls on his ass trying to clamber out of them while Griffin is helpless with silent laughter.
‘You fucker, Griffin, I swear to God -’ whispers Nick as they fall into his room, but Griffin shuts him up by kissing him backwards until he hits the bed.
‘Shorts,’ is all Griffin says as he shucks his own off, and Nick follows suit, hardly believing what’s happening, then lets himself topple onto the comforter when Griffin pushes gently down on his shoulders. Reaching out, Nick grabs Griffin’s wrist and brings him down half on top of him. They both find themselves laughing, which is both achingly familiar and completely new. Instead of just thinking about it every time he opens his mouth and trying not to stare, Nick can dip his head to nip at Griffin’s bottom lip and be kissed breathless in response with the kind of urgency that makes him want to touch Griffin everywhere, a lot.
They pause for breath, and Nick draws back slightly to really look at Griffin, his thighs, his smattering of chest hair, his belly and puffy nipples, and his cock, curving upwards to the right, filling as they lie facing each other. Away from the liminal space of the hot tub, he feels more real. He’s lying next to Griffin in bed, naked, with significantly more than a semi, and just had his tongue in his mouth.
‘I didn’t even think you liked boys,’ he finds himself saying.
‘Nick, how many times do I say the word boy on an average day?’
‘It is a lot. But that doesn’t mean you wanna kiss them.’
‘I’ve kissed boys. I’ve kissed boy dolphins.’
‘Griffin. I still wasn’t sure you would kiss me.’
‘Why wouldn’t I kiss you? You’re fucking beautiful.’
Nick can feel himself blushing under Griffin’s heated gaze.
‘Hmm,’ is all he manages, and Griffin laughs.
‘You don’t even know how much I fucking love that sound you make, bud. It goes right to the good parts,’ sighs Griffin. He reaches out to pinch Nick’s nipple and says ‘So, you been thinkin’ about me, Nicholas?’
‘Fuck! Yeah, dude. Like, all the time? I feel like I was really obvious. Fuck. Every time you tell me to do something – I just want to get on my fuckin’ knees,’ babbles Nick, squirming underneath his touch.
‘Jesus,’ says Griffin. ‘We can – we can definitely try that.’
‘Can you like... tell me what you want? I want to make it good for you, I want to be good for you,’ murmurs Nick, cheeks burning. He chances a glance at Griffin, who is looking at him intently. He brings his hand to Nick’s face and runs a thumb over his cheekbone.
‘Sure,’ he replies quietly. ‘I really, really like telling you what to do. Which is... kinda new for me? I haven’t explored it a whole lot. But I also like, just wanna make out with you forever because your lips are very cute and puffy right now.’
Griffin slowly brushes the tip of his forefinger along Nick’s lower lip, and without hesitation he sticks out his tongue to lick it.
Griffin watches, pupils blown wide.
‘Oh God, Nick.’
‘I guess it’s actually a good thing that I have an intimate knowledge of your kinks,’ says Nick.
He licks over the pads of Griffin’s fingertips and Griffin fucking whimpers. Nick grins, and takes two of his fingers into his mouth, whorling his tongue around them, sucking a little.
Griffin’s voice cracks as he cries out and palms himself with his other hand.
‘Mm?’ he questions through his mouthful of finger. He feels bratty and it’s very very good.
‘Nicholas, I could literally come from you suckin’ off my fingers and that’s the fuckin’ truth,’ says Griffin fervently.
‘Sweet,’ breathes Nick, and goes to do it again, but Griffin cups his jaw and kisses him a little roughly.
‘C’mere,’ says Griffin, voice low.
Griffin gets a hand on Nick’s ass and drags them close, aligning their hips. Then it’s all skin on skin on skin, mouths sliding together, sloppy and uncoordinated, cocks twitching against each other as they both rock into the sensation. It’s right on the brink of overwhelming, but Nick wants more, almost hurting with desire, dick hard and beading precome that smears on contact with Griffin’s stomach. When Griffin takes them in hand, swiping over the head of his dick with his thumb and slicking up both of them, Nick turns his head to moan into the covers, tensing hard.
‘Nick, baby, remember you gotta talk to me,’ Griffin says softly into the shell of his ear, letting go.
The pet name filters through the static. Nick groans and cants his hips further forward, wanting Griffin’s hand back on his dick.
‘Griffin, it feels so fucking good. I’m gonna die.’
‘We’re gonna go slow, baby,’ says Griffin with a smile.
Light fingertips trip down Nick’s back. He arches into it, eyes closed, hyper aware of the pleasure that flares down his spine. Griffin kisses down his exposed jaw, and he shivers.
‘You got any lube in here?’ Griffin gently scrapes his neck with his teeth, then licks.
‘Uhh, fuck, no, in my wallet which is... in the kitchen. God fuckin’ dammit.’
‘It's fine bud, let’s do this another way.’
Griffin puts his hand up to Nick’s mouth and says ‘Lick.’
Nick doesn’t need to be told twice. He laps at Griffin’s palm, and a moment later the head of his cock is enveloped in wet and warm by Griffin’s hand, rubbing cock against silk-smooth cock. There is still friction, against the beginning of a slide. They press together, everything heat and touch.
‘Lick, get it messy,’ says Griffin bringing his hand up again, and Nick feels every tension leave his body as he follows the instruction. It feels even better, and they kiss deep and open-mouthed, sloppier by the minute. Nick hooks his leg over Griffin’s thigh and grinds forward, revelling in the slick sensation. Griffin takes his time working them together until Nick is a quivering mess.
‘Fuuuck, Griffin...’ he pants into Griffin’s mouth.
‘D'you - d'you wanna suck me off? Because I think... I need that to happen right now,’ says Griffin tentatively; quiet, pitched low, and really fucking hot.
‘Yeah, wow,’ Nick closes his eyes in pleasure as Griffin puts a little more pressure on them both, ‘I really do.’
‘God. Alright. Can you, uh – d'you wanna get on the floor?’
Nick smiles at Griffin with heavy-lidded eyes for a moment, and moves down, trailing a hand softly over his stomach and thighs.
He kneels on the floor, shivering slightly, because this is happening, and Griffin shuffles to sit at the edge of the bed. There is a moment of stillness where they simply look at each other. Griffin whispers, ‘Nick, fuck, fuck,’ in awe when Nick looks up at him through his lashes.
‘You’re so fucking pretty.’
Nick feels tingly all over at the praise. He likes being pretty.
It’s been a while since he’s gone down on anyone, but he imagines it’s like riding a bike. Or fellating a bike? Faced with Griffin’s dick, pink and sticky with pre-come and spit, all he wants to do is go to fucking town on it. Nick takes a breath and licks up from the base in one wet stripe, closing his lips over the head and taking as much as he can until it hits the back of his throat. Griffin jerks his hips forward involuntarily and clutches at Nick’s long hair.
‘Fuck, sorry!’ he yelps, letting go quickly.
Nick slides up and off with a pop that makes them both grin.
He wraps one hand around Griffin’s length and takes him into his mouth again, licking over the top and down, sucking hard enough to hollow his cheeks. With the other hand he reaches for Griffin’s, and places it firmly on the top of his head.
Hearing Griffin pant his name, sounding wrecked, goes straight to his dick and he bucks into his fist, trying to keep it together.
Griffin’s cock twitches against Nick’s tongue, and he can already feel him getting harder, getting close. When Griffin clutches at his hair, keeping a hold this time, Nick makes a muffled noise in his throat. He wants Griffin to come first on point of principle, but he can feel his orgasm building. Restrained by the almost-painful tug of Griffin’s hand in his hair, he holds his head still, and lets Griffin fuck into his mouth.
Time slows like honey and he’s weightless.
‘Nick, I’m gonna come, I’mgonnacome.’
He moans around Griffin’s dick, and then Griffin breaks into a litany of ‘Nicknicknick!’ and is thrusting deep, pulsing against his tongue, and Nick swallows him down through the wave of his orgasm. For a while, he floats.
Everything is intense, every sense heightened, when Griffin hauls him back up onto the bed and into his arms.
‘Fuckin’ fuck me – Nick – tell me what you need, baby,’ he says breathlessly, and Nick buries his face into the space between Griffin’s neck and shoulder.
‘God, Griffin.’ His voice is ruined.
‘Yeah, bud, I’m here.’
‘Need you t’touch me. Uh. Hard.’
The moment that Griffin wraps his hand around him, things sharpen into focus. Pleasure pools deep in his belly, with Griffin jerking him off just this side of roughly. Griffin licks into his mouth and then bites down on his lip, the little spike of pain shooting sparks through him.
It’s not long before he’s taking deep shuddering breaths, almost whiting out from an orgasm that courses through his whole body. He spills over Griffin’s hand, getting come on them both.
While Nick basks in his fucking golden post-coital glow, he hears Griffin say ‘Yucky,’ and sees him wipe his hand on his only towel, that lies further up the bed.
Nick looks at him and thinks that this might be what love is.
‘You wanna be big spoon?’ he asks.