The biggest achievement in the life of Kirima Sharo? Telling Tedeza Rize that she had feelings for her, and asking her to be her one and only. That had required all of the energy she had been saving up her in her body for her entire life, she had decided, because she had turned into the human equivalent of a deflated balloon afterwards. Words did not exist to describe the sense of relief that had filled her soul on that day.
Until it occurred to her that being in a relationship opened up a whole list of new anxieties. Telling all of their friends that they had become a couple. Going on a first date. Having a first kiss. And ... the thought of everything that might follow after that made Sharo turn so red that looking into the square mirror on her dresser reminded her of a blonde-haired tomato. She had been dreaming of having Rize to herself since high school. For years. And she did have her to herself. She had pulled that off, at least.
Have to knock down one anxiety at a time, Sharo. Their friends at Rabbit House had been 100% supportive. To the surprise of no one (except Rize), they had been expecting the two of them to get together for ages. Telling them had been easy. Too easy, because the next one – The first date had almost been a disaster. Almost. Sharo had a case of the nerves so bad that she could barely pick up her teacup at the table without spilling the tea inside it. But Rize had been calm. Understanding. After all, she and Sharo had been friends for almost as long as both of them could remember.
At the end of the day, it had been a good date. And it led directly into the first kiss. I almost bombed that, too. Sharo had turned red, licked her lips, raised herself up on the balls of her feet, and ... almost fell forward. On her face. But Rize had caught her, dusted her off, smiled at her. Still understanding. And she had closed her eyes, her mouth slightly open. She made it easy for Sharo to kiss her, that first time. Granted, Sharo still thought she had been clumsy about it. Sloppy. Concerned that she had drooled. But it had still been a good kiss. Or so Rize had reassured her.
Why does she do that? Sharo frowned at the mirror as she brushed her hair. I mean, I know why she does, it's just – She set down the brush, shaking her head. – she's still Rize. Even if she's my girlfriend now, she's still just ... the best, I guess. She lets it go when I screw up. Every little thing. And she thought she had acquired a long list of little things she did wrong, but Rize never seemed to mind any of them. I'm being silly.
There had been many dates after that first. Many kisses. Their previous date had ended in the first kiss that had involved tongue. Well, I didn't screw that up. I think. It had been pleasant, in fact. Very pleasant. To the point that it made her heart race and her knees weak. To the point that they had sat together on her sofa and kept at it. For a long time. And she's coming over tonight, so – She swallowed hard. – I think it's that time. It's going to be our first ... um, time. Yeah. The biggest Rize-related anxiety of them all.
I mean, making out went all right, didn't it? I even made the first move. And she remembered the soft mmm Rize had made into her mouth when she leaned her back on the sofa. I'm actually kind of proud of myself. But tonight – The Sharo in the mirror looked ... pensive. Older. More mature. And it was true: She was no longer the Sharo who had longed for Rize in high school. She had turned longing into reality, had managed to juggle her relationship and university and all of the other things that adult life involved. She only had to juggle one more thing. This one's ... super important.
She set her jaw and looked her reflection in the eye. "I'm, uh –" She started again. "I'm not anxious about anything!" And I don't sound convinced. She took a deep breath. "I'm not anxious about anything. It'll be ... f-fine." Another deep breath. "It'll be fine." Her face softened in the mirror. "It's Rize. I love her. I told her that when I asked her out. We've gotten it all right so far, haven't we? This is just ... one more thing." Well, it's a big thing, but – "I'm not anxious about anything. We're going to do this."
The doorbell rang. And here she is. Let's go. She nodded, rose to her feet, used her palms to smooth the ankle-length dress she had picked for their dinner date. I'm not anxious about anything. She smiled. Her reflection looked serene. Argh, I'll never think I'm pretty. A blush. But she does, doesn't she? She doesn't see the million things I could do better. She just sees ... me. One more deep breath. That's fine. Let's go!
Dinner. At a good restaurant, a familiar favorite. Only the two of them – otherwise, they could have gone to Rabbit House, laughing and talking to Cocoa and Chino over coffee and pastries. But, for a date, it only needed to be the two of them. Pasta – no sauce, only herbs and oil, since Sharo had decided to wear white to complement the blue ensemble Rize had picked, including a pair of earrings Sharo had picked for her. They had considered a glass of wine, decided against it. Neither of them had been great at handling their alcohol. Everything they did had to be comfortable. Familiar. Warm. They did not talk about what they expected to happen after they returned home.
Sharo had made up her mind before they left her house. As soon as they made it back, as soon as they closed the door, before either of them reached for a light switch, she held Rize around her middle, saying nothing as she rested her cheek against her back. Rize only nodded once before turning to face her, leaning down and kissing her immediately, touching her face, resting the other hand on her hip. Normally, she might have paused, let Sharo surface for air, give her time to collect herself. Not this time.
If I make the first move, she had told herself before the date, then I won't have time to think too hard about it and mess myself up. So she did her best to keep thinking to a minimum, to listen to her body instead. And, as the kissing continued and she led Rize from the front door to the sofa, her body had a great deal to say. Her heart beat fast. Her face flushed. Her knees threatened to knock together, but she managed to keep them under control. And she could already feel her panties becoming moist. That's ... fine. The thought came almost dreamily. It was like that last time, too. It's fine.
She leaned Rize against the cushions again, holding her close, still kissing her. She's ... still letting me lead? O-Okay. So – She could kiss her all night, but her body wanted more than that. She wanted more than that. She reached one hand down to where the blue dress stopped and stroked her thigh, receiving a low nnn for her efforts. D-Don't overthink it, Sharo! She grasped the bottom of the dress and hiked it up. Rize obliged her by raising her arms and letting her take it off completely. And don't even think of stopping to fold it or hang it, either! On the f-floor! And on the floor it went.
Sharo involuntarily froze. Rize lay in front of her, blushing, her underwear extremely blue against the soft pink of her skin. Seeing her on a day-to-day basis was one thing, but Sharo had never seen her like that. Aroused. Erotic. Alone with her. The thought threatened to overwhelm her, but Rize reached up and touched her face, smiling.
"It's okay. I'm here. Whatever you want, I know –" She averted her eyes, perhaps embarrassed to say it out loud. "– it will feel good." And that helped Sharo push anxiety into the back seat of her mind. She could do everything she had thought of doing to the woman she loved more than anything else in the world. All she had to do was ... do it.
I'm ready. Sharo took one more deep breath before taking off the white dress. I'm ... ready. Old anxieties about her body reared up in her head, but she pushed them back down. She wants me. I want her. Nothing to stop us now. Her bra and panties joined her dress on the floor, and Rize followed suit. I don't care about anything else.
She kissed all of Rize that she wanted to kiss, from her neck to her shoulder to the ticklish spots on her ribs, from her hip to her navel to her breasts. It's ... all of her, and just for me. She sucked lightly on her nipples, listening to her groan as she slipped one hand between her legs. Wow. She ... really likes this. Then, she chided herself. No, Sharo. Don't stop and think. Just ... do! And she did, listening to the sounds Rize made as she touched her, blushing as her fingertips came away wet and glistening, but not removing her mouth from her breasts as she arched her back for her.
Before long, Rize started breathing hard, and her body tensed. Is this – ? Her face clenched, her body tensed again, and she let out a long sigh, sweat damp upon her skin as Sharo gently circled her clit with two fingers, helping her come back down. Huh. I guess ... it was. I – Rize interrupted her thinking by holding her tightly, letting her rest her cheek on breasts still slightly wet from her mouth. So that's it, isn't it? Heehee. Sharo smiled to herself, happy in spite of all the anxieties still in the back of her brain.
They lay like that for a little while before Rize said, softly, "I didn't forget about you, Sharo. Just needed to ... catch my breath for a second." She had her eyes half-open, her face still full of a post-orgasmic flush. "But I think it's your turn now."
"Ah –" Rize ran her tongue from her navel almost up to her chin, and Sharo could feel her eyes roll back in her head. I-I spent so much time worrying about what I'd do with her – She gasped as Rize sucked on her neck, lightly applying her teeth to her hot skin. – I didn't stop to think about what she'd be doing to me! Judging from how exactly she was doing everything, Rize had been thinking about how she wanted to make love to Sharo for quite a long time. O-Oh, wow. By the time Rize had her fingers gently stroking her labia, Sharo was already ready to come out of her skin. Th-This is so —
In the end, the second biggest achievement in the life of Kirima Sharo was discovering that, when it came to loving Tedeza Rize, that was one area of her life where no amount of clumsiness or anxiety could hold her back from true happiness.