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( please, not him ) ;

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I am going to die, you think as your vision fades in and out with tears. Please, don’t allow this to happen, not to him. Fuck, Chuck, please – if you ever loved him, stop this; stop this before…

There is a harsh shake of your body, dislodging the collecting tears and your desperate prayers – also awakening your numb body; a flare of painful awareness assaulting your nervous system.

A crushing pain bruising your hips bones; a raw, stinging spreading over the skin of your back; a bass-deep throbbing radiating through your skull.

They couldn’t compare, however, to the illusion of a cold, piercing sensation resting against the heated skin of your chest.

The result of the tip of an angel blade poised over your heart.

I am sorry – I am so sorry, you sobbed silently in your mind as you curl one set of shivering fingers around the arm clutching the silver blade; the other set resting on the coat-sleeve of the arm pinning you to the abrasive floor.

He must think you are trying to struggle; his grip on your hips and right shoulder tightening, the previous illusion of a piercing cold pain becoming reality as the angel blade draws blood - adding to the amount that he has already spilt.

You gasp, though your [eye colour] eyes never leave his. Eyes that had not changed colour like you expected; eyes that were still beautiful and breathtaking.

Eyes belonging to the angel you had fallen in love with, now glaring at you like you were a demon he was going to smite.

Please, don’t let this happen – I’ll do anything. You weren’t desperately begging for yourself, you had known the minute the red-tinged curse had seeped its way into your angel’s chest that you were about to meet your reaper.

No, you were begging for him – the angel who had enough pain to last eternity; the angel who would never forgiven himself for being the instrument of your death; the angel who used to tilt his head and squint his eyes when you brushed your fingers against his arm, like you were doing now; the angel who always appeared to have too much heart…

The angel who had blue eyes.

“Castiel,” you choked, “I – “

Your vision explodes white.