The sea air left the taste of salt on Thor’s lips and his face and hair feeling like they were coated in a film. It wasn’t entirely pleasant, but it did nothing to dampen his good spirits this afternoon.
He looked over at Loki and grinned. They had been adventuring for days, just the two of them. The widening trajectories of their lives rarely allowed them time alone together anymore and it felt so good to reconnect like this, hunting and exploring through the backwoods, seeing what mischief they could get up to with no company to check their more impulsive urges, laughing like children again.
Loki looked back at him and rolled his eyes.
No one ever dared to do that to him anymore since he had come of age, everyone always practically licking his boots in their haste to ingratiate themselves with the royal family. Gods, he didn't realize how much he'd missed it, had missed his sarcastic little brother lately.
This morning they had come to the edge of a cliff overlooking the ocean. They spent the day investigating the beach and the tidepools, spearing fish for lunch. Caves dotted the cliff that hugged the coastline and he and Loki had searched several of them by the soft green glow of Loki’s witchlight. They found blind fish and white ghost crabs and had even been chased out of one watery cave by a massive tentacle that raised threateningly out of the murky depths.
“I could have just electrocuted it where it sat in its pool,” Thor said confidently afterwards.
“Yes, if only you had stopped screaming and flailing long enough to think of it,” Loki smirked.
Now they stood side by side on the beach, shading their eyes as they looked up the cliff face.
“That cave halfway up the cliff, there, do you see?” said Loki, pointing. “It doesn’t look natural.”
“Aye, that it doesn’t. The opening is too...symmetric.”
“We should investigate it.”
“My thoughts exactly.”
“Grab hold,” Thor said, and Loki slotted himself into Thor’s side, arms around his waist. Thor would never admit it, but he loved any excuse to take Loki flying. They fit so perfectly together like this, like they had been molded from the same piece of clay, and shameful though it was Thor loved to put his arm around his brother and hold him close enough to smell the scent of his hair and feel his warm breath on his neck. Most of all though, he loved how much it meant that Loki trusted him.
Thor spun his hammer and threw. They soared effortlessly through the air and up to the mouth of the cave.
Loki stepped away from Thor’s side and Thor perhaps let his fingers trail just a touch too long on his arm. Thankfully, Loki didn’t seem to notice.
The inside of the cave was perfectly smooth, like being on the inside of an eggshell.
“This is passing strange,” Thor said.
“Mm,” Loki agreed, running his hand along the wall. “Feel it.”
Thor did. It was as smooth and slick as a ceramic plate.
“There’s no dust or dirt,” Thor said. “Not even on the floor. And no moss or lichen either. Or bird droppings.”
Loki sniffed the wall, then gently touched his tongue to it. “It doesn’t taste of salt either.”
“Do you think this is a work of magic?”
“How could it be anything else? Quiet a moment, let me concentrate.”
Loki sat in the middle of the floor and closed his eyes. Thor paced the length of the cave, counting steps. It was relatively shallow, only ten paces front to back, and twenty paces long. He wondered what purpose it had been constructed for. It seemed a useless thing, mostly inaccessible, extremely remote, but obviously some great care had gone into the making of it.
He looked at Loki. His face had gone slack and his breathing deepened. Thor let his eyes linger on the soft fan of Loki’s eyelashes against his pale cheek, on the slight flutter of his pulse in his throat.
Thor knew that the way he looked at his brother was wrong, but he told himself that as long as it was only looking, and only when Loki didn’t know he was looking, that it was ok. He was just so lovely. And not vulnerable, exactly, for Thor knew well his acidic tongue as well as his deadliness with both dagger and illusion, but... whenever Thor looked upon him he felt a swell in his chest, like he needed to protect him at all costs. And under that, something sharper edged, like he also wanted to devour him whole. It was confusing.
Loki shook himself and opened his eyes and Thor quickly looked out towards the sea, hoping Loki hadn’t noticed him staring.
“I can sense some kind of enchantment on the cave,” Loki said, frowning, “but it’s old. Very old. I don’t recognize the type of magic and I can’t get a good read on it.”
“I’ve never known you to be unable to decipher a spell,” Thor said.
“Yes, it’s disconcerting to say the least. I don’t think there’s anything else we can do here, we should probably just go.”
“As you say,” Thor said agreeably. He held out his arm. “Ready?”
Loki stepped into his side neatly again. “Ready.”
Thor spun his hammer and threw and they shot out of the cave towards the beach.
Or at least Thor shot out of the cave towards the beach.
“THOR!” he heard Loki scream and the fear in his voice made Thor’s heart leap into his throat and his blood run ice cold.
He streaked back up to the cave and hovered there in midair. Loki was scrambling backwards on all fours. The walls of the cave had sprung to life with glowing runes, twisting and pulsing, and the walls were rumbling threateningly.
“Take my hand!” Thor cried, reaching for Loki, but when he tried to pull Loki out of the cave it was as though an invisible force field stopped his brother’s hand at the entrance.
“I can’t leave!” Loki said, his eyes so wide that the whites showed all the way around. “I can’t leave!”
Thor landed in the cave and threw Loki over his shoulder. “Like Hel you can’t,” he growled, and once more tried to fly them both out.
Once again Thor sailed out with no problem, but the instant he crossed the threshold the forcefield knocked Loki from his shoulders and down to the floor again.
The glowing runes on the walls began to writhe and form into new shapes and the rumbling changed timbre, grew deeper.
“Thor!” Loki wailed.
Thor rocketed back into the cave. This time he realized that as soon as he crossed the boundary where the forcefield was, the runes dimmed significantly and the rumbling ceased. Hesitantly, he stuck his hand out of the cave. The runes grew brighter. He withdrew his hand and they dimmed again.
“Thor…” Loki said uncertainly.
“What is happening?” Thor demanded.
“I don’t know,” Loki said, a little hysterically. “But whatever it is seems to stop whenever you come back.”
“Can you read this writing?”
“I don’t know I don’t know I don’t -”
Thor dropped his hammer and clasped Loki’s neck with one hand, his shoulder with the other. “Stop and breathe,” he said softly. “We’re ok. And I’m here with one of the best sorcerers in the nine realms, so I have no doubt we’re going to find a way to get you out of here.”
Loki closed his eyes and held onto Thor’s forearms. “Ok. Ok. Give me a moment. You needn’t insult me, you know.” He smiled weakly.
Thor allowed himself to kiss Loki’s forehead. He was never quite certain where the line between brotherly affection and impropriety lay, but if there was ever a time to push, now was it. Loki leaned into the kiss and his breathing started to steady.
“Fine,” Thor said. “The best sorcerer.”
“That’s more like it.” He turned away from Thor to regard the writing on the walls. It had faded to a dim tracery, but the symbols were still legible. “This language is very old.”
“Just like the magic.”
“Exactly so. I don’t...hmm...it bears some resemblance to…” He trailed off, lost in thought.
Thor reached out to touch the writing and Loki slapped his hand away. “What are you thinking!” he hissed. “Don’t touch it!”
“Sorry,” Thor muttered. “Maybe I should just camp on the beach and wait for you, then.”
Loki glared at him. “Cease your inane chattering, please, and let me think.”
Sitting down seemed like as fine an idea as any, so Thor spread his cloak on the floor and tried to make himself comfortable. The view of the ocean was spectacular, the white capped waves crashing on the shore, the steel gray line of the horizon as sharp as a knife. This whole situation was strange, but Thor had no doubt that Loki would figure out their predicament. Figuring ways out of predicaments was his specialty.
“I wasn’t really going to leave you,” Thor said after awhile.
“I know,” Loki said.
The sun began to set as Loki paced and twisted his hair and bit his fingernails. Finally he flopped down next to Thor and put his face in his hands.
“I know why I can’t leave,” he said in a small voice.
“That is wonderful news!” Thor said, clapping him on the back.
“It isn’t,” Loki said miserably. “I think I figured out what this cave was built for.” He ground the heels of his palms into his eyes and turned his face away from Thor, mumbling something too low for Thor to hear.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t catch -”
“Virgin sacrifice,” Loki gritted out, face red. “Norns.”
They sat in silence for some time, watching the sun disappear over the horizon sliver by sliver. Thor digested the information slowly. He knew that Loki had had no public dalliances but he had never imagined that Loki had had no dalliances at all. Thor himself had been active in that respect for...a century at the very least. He had not bothered to mark the year. Suddenly his inappropriate interest in his brother seemed even more shameful.
“So…” Thor began.
“Spare me your jokes,” Loki said wearily.
Thor held up his hands in a conciliatory gesture. “I would never -” he began and Loki snorted. “Ok, I would. But not today.”
“Thank you. I think.”
“So I guess the barrier is to prevent the virgin from leaving the cave?”
“Yes, and it doesn’t activate until the non-virgins leave. Presumably so whatever rotten old priest that was bringing people here didn’t accidentally get sacrificed himself.”
“I’m happy to be your rotten old priest,” Thor leered and Loki snorted again. “So what is the sacrifice to?”
“I have no idea. Some ancient deity that probably doesn’t even actually exist, or at least not anymore. You know how these backwoods realms latch onto any old creature as a god.”
“But the enchantment is still active.”
“What else does it...do?”
“Well I can’t understand every single word, but there’s definitely something about entrails and the last heart’s blood.”
Silence for a moment and then -
“...I had no idea you had never…”
“It wasn’t exactly something I broadcast.”
“Loki,” Thor said as Loki rose and paced around the cave again. “We’ll get out of here. You’ll break the enchantment. Or I’ll smash the entire cliff to rubble if I have to.”
Thor couldn’t help but follow Loki with his eyes. His beautiful brother, trapped here in a cave because he had never been with another person before. He wondered why. Loki was a prince, and true he had never been quite as popular with the people as Thor was, but there were still those who would give their left arm for the chance to sleep with a prince of Asgard, he was sure of it. And Loki was most pleasing to look upon, his spare frame and long lean muscles, the chiseled planes of his face, his expressive green eyes, the way his hair curled just under his ear…
A thought came unbidden into Thor’s head and he stamped on it immediately. No. It was not even worth contemplating.
So it could not be a lack of would-be lovers that gave Loki his status, but instead a choice that Loki made personally. But for what reason?
Maybe the treacherous thought began to whisper, and to cover it up Thor rose and called Mjolnir to his hand.
“I’ll try right now,” he said.
The hammer rang like a bell when it struck the wall and the vibration traveled all the way up Thor’s arm until he felt his shoulder was like to shake apart at the joint and his teeth rattled in his skull. When the sparks and smoke cleared, the wall was as clean and unmarred as though he had done nothing.
“Shit,” he said again.
Loki sighed. “I think I’m in for a long night,” he said.
Thor ended up lying down on his cloak and pillowing his head on his arm, but sleep would not come. Loki conjured a witchlight and sat cross-legged next to him, eyes closed, hands resting lightly on his knees, deep in concentration. The soft green glow gave his features a strange, almost sinister, cast. Occasionally his face would twist or his shoulders would twitch, but mostly he was still. Sometime around what Thor guessed was midnight a fine sheen of sweat broke out on his brow and a small whine escaped his throat. Thor sat up and reached for him, his hands hovering uselessly over Loki’s shoulders, unsure what to do, until finally Loki pitched forward with a small cry and Thor caught him before he went face first into the ground.
“It’s no use,” Loki gasped. “I can’t do it.” He blinked rapidly and tears gathered in the corners of his eyes.
“Shh,” Thor said, rubbing circles on his back. “Yes you can. You just need some rest.”
“I can rest until Ragnarok and it wouldn’t matter,” Loki said bitterly. “This magic is so far beyond my abilities it’s actually absurd.”
“Then rest anyway,” Thor said. “If it makes no difference.”
Loki banished the witchlight and stretched out next to him on the cloak but neither of them slept. The moon was new so even after their eyes adjusted to the dark it was impossible to see much. The air grew colder as the night pressed on and Loki started shivering. Thor thought longingly of the blankets and pillows they had left at their campsite. “Come here,” Thor murmured, and Loki snuggled gratefully into his side.
“You’re always so warm,” he said tiredly. “Thank you.”
They lay there for some time, Thor tracing small circles on Loki’s arm with his thumb, his mind determinedly blank.
“We’re going to die of thirst eventually,” Loki whispered at some point. “If I die first, please tell me you’ll leave and save yourself.”
“Shut up,” Thor said.
“I said shut up.”
“I always thought everyone would mock if they knew,” Loki went on. “That I would just be confirming their suspicions that I'm strange and unnatural.”
“I never thought it would actually kill me.”
Loki sat up in the dark and put his hands in his lap. Thor couldn't see his face clearly. “You have to fuck me,” Loki said matter-of-factly.
Thor nearly choked on his own tongue.
“Loki,” he gasped. His heart hammered twice against his ribcage, two hard jabs that nearly took his breath away. “Are you serious?”
“I've thought and thought all night and it's all I can come up with. Either you fuck me or…”
“I die,” he said simply.
“It's the only way. It's dark, just...I'll just face away from you and you can pretend I'm whoever you want. I won't hold it against you.” Loki’s tone was brisk, business-like, but Thor could hear a slight shake in his voice.
“You can't mean this, there must be some other way…”
“There is no other way,” Loki insisted. “I'm stuck here and if you leave to get help I'll die and if you stay I'll still die, only it will take a week and a half longer. If you just fuck me we can leave in ten minutes.”
Thor made an undignified noise somewhere between a gasp and a choke that ended in high nervous laughter.
He had been looking at his brother in furtive stolen glances for years but he had never really allowed himself to think any further than that. It was too painful of a burden and so he had simply shut it down, refused to follow the train of thought. But now Loki had just gone and outright said that and Thor was never going to be the same again. The idea was presented, the desire shown its logical conclusion, and once knowing it it could never be unknown. He was doomed for the rest of his life.
Loki had just asked Thor to fuck him, his own brother, and by Ymir’s bloody bones he wanted to.
Even so, he resisted. How could he be eager in a situation like this? How could he take pleasure in his brother's body, knowing that it was not something Loki actually wanted? That it was most likely even now making Loki's gorge rise to think on it?
“Say something,” Loki said tensely.
“I -” Thor stopped, unable to force any words past his teeth.
“You can't do it,” Loki said, getting up and moving away from Thor. “It's too much, I'm sorry, I should not even have asked.”
“No, wait,” Thor said, rising quickly and coming to stand behind Loki. He paused, not wanting to seem overeager, but not wanting Loki to feel that Thor was disgusted with him either. He settled for putting his hands tentatively on Loki's shoulders. “Is this what...do you truly wish this?”
“I don't want to die,” Loki said softly, wretchedly, hugging himself.
“I don't want you to die either,” Thor whispered. He kissed the top of Loki's head and wrapped his arms around Loki's chest. Loki tipped his head back to rest on Thor's shoulder.
“Are you sure you don’t want to wait until daylight, try other things?” Thor said. “Maybe there is some other avenue we haven’t exhausted yet...”
“This magic is older and more powerful than us. This is...this is the only way. I’m sure of it. I know it’s sickening. You can close your eyes. You don't have to look at me. You can pretend I'm...Sif, or…”
Thor wanted to tell him right then and there, confess to his shameful secret, that he wasn’t sickened, that he wanted nothing more than to gaze into his brother's green eyes and share his breath while they came undone together, but he clenched his jaw and locked the words away. They would only cause pain. It must already be unbearable for Loki to have to submit to his own brother unwillingly like this and Thor would not make it worse by letting him know that he would find any amount of pleasure in it. That would be Thor's burden alone.
Still, he took a moment to enjoy holding Loki close like this, his quiet breathing next to his ear, imagining what it would be like if Loki actually wanted to be in his arms instead of being forced there.
“If...if you truly think it’s the only way.”
“And if you truly wish me to do this.”
Thor was whispering now. “And if you won’t hate me afterwards.”
“I could never hate you,” Loki breathed and Thor’s chest spasmed. If only Loki knew the truth of what was in Thor’s heart he would probably curse him to seven hells. “But you have to promise you won’t hate me too.”
“So you’ll -”
Thor cursed himself to seven hells and said, “Yes.”
“Norns,” Loki swore.
They stood locked together for a moment, composing themselves in the suddenly fraught silence.
“I don't -” Thor ventured, and then cleared his throat. “There's no, um, oil.”
“Oh,” said Loki and Thor felt his breathing quicken. “I'll conjure some.”
They broke apart and Loki’s hands glowed briefly and then he shoved something small and hard at Thor.
“Here,” he muttered. “I'll just…we should get it over with.” He awkwardly started shimmying out of his pants. Thor gulped and looked away, embarrassed all of a sudden at the display of nakedness. It felt like Loki was baring more than just his skin and Thor didn’t feel entitled to it. He thumbed the vial of oil nervously.
Loki laid down on his stomach on top of Thor's cloak, his buttocks and legs a pale stripe in the darkness. “Do it,” he said.
Thor knelt and put one hand lightly on the small of Loki's back. “It will be easier if you get up on your knees,” he murmured.
Loki got shakily to his hands and knees. Thor nearly wept at the sight, his beautiful little brother, so scared, his trust in Thor so perfect that he would allow him even this. He kissed where his hand had been resting and felt Loki shiver.
“You don’t have to romance me,” Loki said in a tone of forced lightness.
“I don’t want to hurt you,” Thor said. He couldn’t help himself and he dropped another kiss at the dip of Loki's spine and ran his hand softly along the perfect globe of Loki's buttock. “I won't hurt you,” he repeated. He brought one finger to Loki's hole and let it rest at the entrance. “Is this ok?”
Loki nodded silently. Thor steeled himself. He poured out a little oil and slipped one finger inside. It was so warm, the muscles fluttering around him so delicately, so sweetly. It took his breath away. He kissed Loki's back again and this time he heard the smallest noise.
He realized Loki was crying.
Something inside Thor broke.
He couldn't...this was wrong. In horror, he fell back, throwing his hands over his face as though they could hide his shame. He could not take any amount of pleasure in causing Loki such emotional pain, could not keep the secret of his monstrous lust any longer while his little brother sobbed silently beneath him.
“I'm sorry, I'm sorry,” he babbled. “Oh Loki I'm sorry.”
Loki whipped around to look at him, sitting back on his heels and sniffling. “Why did you stop?” he demanded hoarsely.
“I can't, I thought I could but I can't,” Thor said, despairing. “I can't...I have to tell you…”
“Have to tell me what?”
Thor closed his eyes and took a deep ragged breath.
“I want you. I've desired you for years and...I can't...this is...I feel like I'm r-raping you and I can't…” Thor felt himself start to hyperventilate, felt a sob gathering in his chest. He was glad it was so dark, that Loki couldn't see him, that he couldn't see Loki's face as he spit out the truths that would probably kill him.
He expected icy silence, screaming, crying, hitting - venomous words - a knife to the ribs - anything but what he got, which was a lap full of half-naked Loki.
His eyes flew open and Loki’s face was right there, illuminated green by the witchlight that had suddenly sprung to life. His eyes were dark and searching.
“Did you mean it?” Loki said, cupping Thor’s cheeks in his hands, their faces inches apart.
Thor could only gape.
“When you said you desire me, did you mean it?”
Thor nodded dumbly.
Loki leaned forward and kissed him.
All of the confused welter of emotions melted away and his world narrowed to two thoughts - Loki was in his lap and Loki was kissing him. His body responded before his brain knew what was happening, his arms coming up to wrap tightly around him.
Loki pulled away and he was still crying but he was laughing too.
“I never knew,” he accused. “Why didn’t you tell me?”
Thor’s mouth opened and closed a few times before he could make it work. “What?” he finally managed. “How was I - what?”
Loki slid his arms around Thor’s neck and pressed their cheeks together.
“I want you too,” he whispered into Thor’s ear and the breathy little gust of it sent a frisson down Thor’s spine and straight to his cock.
“Loki,” he groaned, running one hand up into Loki’s hair and the other around his waist, crushing them together. Loki nuzzled behind his ear and kissed his way over to Thor’s mouth and their lips met, hungry and eager. Thor felt lightheaded, and elated, and...confused.
“Wait,” Thor gasped, tearing himself away. “We should talk.”
Loki sat back with a tiny huff and ran his hand through his hair. “Talk?”
“Talk,” Thor said firmly. “Can you put your light out? I...it's easier to say things in the dark.”
Loki nodded and the cave plunged into darkness again.
Thor’s heart was still racing wildly, his mind reeling from the emotional ups and downs of the last few minutes. He needed to find out exactly how Loki felt about...things. About all this. About him. But first he needed to breathe for a few moments.
“So how long have you wanted me,” Loki ventured finally. “Like this.”
“I don’t know,” Thor said. “A decade? Two? I don’t remember when it started.” He tried to think back and it felt like he had always been looking at Loki, although he knew that couldn’t possibly be the case. Suddenly desperate for contact again, he groped for Loki's hand and interlaced their fingers. “What about you?”
“I’ve desired you since I knew what it was to desire,” Loki said in a choked whisper and Thor knew at that moment that he was helplessly in love. He kissed Loki’s knuckles to stop his lips from trembling.
“Then why were you crying?” he asked finally when he could speak again.
“I've dreamed of you for...so long but...not like that. Not out of...pity and shame and...I just felt so dirty and low... And I felt like maybe I deserved it for having such unnatural desires...” He sniffled and Thor realized he was crying again.
Thor tugged him into his arms and they rocked together, taking wordless comfort in each other’s closeness. Talking had never been Thor's strong suit, but this he could do effortlessly, offer with his body what his tongue could not deliver.
“Why do you think I never slept with anyone in the first place?” Loki said softly after a while. “I only ever wanted it to be you.”
“Oh, my sweetling,” Thor said, his heart breaking, and tilted Loki’s face up for a damp kiss.
“That’s why I’ve been staying away from you lately,” Loki said, rubbing the tears from his cheek. “I couldn’t bear it. I thought maybe...distance would help.”
“Then why did you agree to come with me on this trip?”
“Because I’m weak,” Loki said. “And I missed you.”
“I missed you too. So much.”
He stroked his thumb across Loki’s cheek and captured his mouth again. Loki’s kisses were hesitant at first, unskilled though he was, but Thor led the way gently and soon he was throwing himself into it with a passionate intensity that made Thor feel giddy and light.
The darkness made the entire strange situation even more unreal and Thor felt disoriented, like he might have floated up from the floor without realizing it. The sudden mad thought entered his head that maybe it wasn’t real, maybe it was the enchantment on the cave doing something to his mind.
“Am I dreaming all this?” Thor asked, their lips still touching.
“If we are dreaming, don’t wake me up,” Loki said. “I'd rather die here with you.”
Thor wanted Loki right then with a desperate intensity that scared him.
“Do you still want me to fuck you?” he asked, low and rough.
The fierceness in Loki's voice lit a fire in his chest. “More than I’ve ever wanted anything in my life.”
Thor pressed him backwards to the floor, his cloak bunching around them. He plundered Loki’s mouth, his neck, Loki’s breathy moans spurring him onward. He sat back and Loki helped him wrestle out of his clothing. He couldn’t figure out Loki’s fastenings in the dark and finally with a growl he ripped the shirt open straight down the middle and licked a stripe up Loki’s stomach.
“So much pretty smooth skin,” he said, rubbing his face on Loki’s chest and then taking a nipple in his mouth. Loki squirmed so beautifully, laughing and tugging Thor up for another kiss. It was a particular laugh he hadn’t heard in a very long time, since before they were men, an unguarded and purely happy sound that he hadn’t realized he’d missed until he just now heard it again.
Thor felt suddenly overcome with emotion and hid his face in the crook of Loki’s neck.
“Brother,” he choked out. Loki’s hands were stroking his hair, his shoulders.
“Yes,” Loki said. “Yes.”
It truly hit him, then, that Loki, his little brother, had been saving himself for this, for him, only for him. How he longed to be worthy of such a precious thing. His chest filled with a hollow ache. On its heels was a fierce protectiveness that he knew Loki wouldn’t appreciate if he knew of it. He knew that all of this should probably feel wrong, but it didn’t. He wondered dimly if he should care that it didn’t. He felt like his heart might beat out of his breast and he clutched Loki to him so tightly that he heard a little “oof” as he drove the breath from his lungs.
Loki clutched him back and then they were moving together, a restless slide of lips and hands. Loki hooked his legs around Thor’s back and arched up into him and for the first time their erections touched.
“Ahh,” Loki breathed.
“I want to taste you,” Thor said. He kissed a trail down Loki’s chest, stopping to nose at the shallow dimple of his navel before moving on to the crease of his groin and then to the delicate flesh of his upper thigh. Loki sighed above him, trying to wiggle his hips to make contact. “Impatient,” Thor said, squeezing both thighs in his hands, and took Loki’s length in his mouth.
He’d barely bobbed up and down twice before Loki fisted both hands in his hair and came with a surprised cry. Thor swallowed all of it and kept sucking until Loki pushed him off.
“I’m sorry,” he gasped. “Oh Norns. I thought I’d last longer than that. I just...you...”
Thor kissed him into silence. He almost, almost, felt he could be happy doing nothing but kissing Loki for the rest of their lives, but heat was coiling in his belly and he needed more, his body eager to explore and conquer, to claim the territory that had been saved in his name. His hands and lips roamed every inch of Loki’s body they could touch, his hips, the meaty flesh of his thighs, the delicate bones of his ankles, the curve of his neck, the dip at the base of his spine, and he found to his surprise that he was babbling nonsensical nothings - “my beautiful Loki, my sweetling, so lovely” - until Loki was a sighing mess beneath him, his cock roused half to hardness again already, and Thor could barely think through the haze of desire.
He cast around impatiently for the vial of oil Loki had conjured, and finding it he poured some onto his fingers and once again brought them to Loki’s entrance.
“Yes?” Thor said, his insides suddenly rather unsteady.
“Yess,” Loki hissed. “Take me, do it.”
Thor slipped his finger in and this time Loki didn’t cry, he moaned Thor’s name, and Thor thought he might die.
He went slowly, not as slowly as he could, but they both needed it too much. By the time he got to three fingers they were both achingly hard and panting.
“Please, I need you,” Loki begged.
He poured the rest of the oil over his cock and nudged the head against Loki’s entrance, then pushed.
They moaned simultaneously.
Thor pushed in agonizingly slowly, pausing after each tiny movement forward to let Loki adjust, but even so by the time he was fully seated Loki was biting his lip and had tears in his eyes.
“Are you ok?” Thor whispered.
“I don’t know,” Loki whispered back. “Just...wait a minute.”
Thor was nearly vibrating with the desire to thrust and he held himself back only out of love and sheer determination. He could feel Loki fluttering around him, tiny little movements that drove him wild. Loki seemed to be having his own moment - he closed his eyes and slid his hands into Thor’s hair and pulled their foreheads together, their noses touching.
“This is all I ever wanted,” he said softly, so softly Thor could barely make it out over the sound of their mingled breath.
“I love you,” Thor said helplessly.
A tear slipped from the corner of Loki’s eye and Thor kissed it, and then his hips gave a little involuntary stutter and Loki gasped and bucked underneath him, and Thor was lost. He was drowning in Loki, their bodies writhing together as Thor pulled out and slid back home over and over again, Loki whimpering sweetly with each thrust and digging his nails into Thor’s sides, urging him faster and faster, and Thor abandoned all thought and all self control and let himself go, pouring out all of his years of frustration and guilt, emptying himself of it until nothing was left but him and Loki here in the sheltering dark at the edge of nowhere.
Loki sobbed and shuddered, holding onto Thor’s shoulders for dear life.
“Thor,” he moaned. “Fuck, Thor, Thooor…”
Thor reached between them and fisted Loki’s cock once, twice, and Loki came with a strangled yell, spending all over both of them in pearly strands.
Thor rose to his knees and lifted Loki’s hips, pounding into him furiously, burying himself inside, his own release building pressure until finally he thrust in once more, hard, and burst so violently that for an instant time itself seemed to cease.
He came back to himself slowly, and realized he had collapsed on top of Loki, still inside of him. Loki had his legs wrapped around Thor’s back like he wanted him to stay there forever and Thor couldn’t find any fault in the plan. He nuzzled at Loki’s neck, inhaling the scent of him, that lovely scent that he used to have to steal and now was his for the taking.
He pulled back to look at Loki’s face and was surprised that he could actually see it; dawn was just starting to break. Loki gazed at him with such a tender expression, his brows knit up, his eyes soft, and Thor tried desperately to memorize it.
“What happens now?” Thor said.
“Let’s get out of this fucking cave.”