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A Very Merry Real Birthday

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Upon walking through the Heart Castle’s doors, Alice immediately found herself to be greeted by two maids on duty.

“Good morning miss Alice.” they offered. “We have been expecting you. Please follow us to the location of Minister White’s birthday celebration.”

“Um...sure...but there’s no need for “miss.” Just “Alice” will be fine.”

“As you wish...Alice.”

They led her out into the rose garden and straight to Vivaldi’s tea table. There sat Ace, Her Majesty, the King, and of course, Peter, all awaiting her arrival.

“ALICE!!!” Peter cried. Leaping up from his seat, he rocketed towards her, intent on locking her away in his arms. Fortunately for her, Alice had grown accustomed to this sort of greeting and managed to dodge him with ease. Sadly, this left Peter bound for one of the Queen’s rose bushes, where he earned himself a few painful pricks.

“Hi everyone, sorry I’m late.” she apologized. “I was helping Julius with his work and lost track of time. I hope you’re not upset.”

“It’s cool.” Ace waved her off. “I get lost going places all the time, so it’s not like I always show up when I’m suppose to.”

Vivaldi smiled. “We are pleased enough that you came to excuse your tardiness.”

Peter, having recovered from his recent mishap, reassured her with “Don’t even consider it, my precious lamb. I’m just so happy that you’re here. And because you are my last guest, we may start celebrating!”

He walked over to the table, and pulled out a seat for Alice. “Here, sweetness, sit beside me. I’m going to assemble the maids for games; I shall return shortly!”

“Ok…” Alice answered. She looked towards Ace, who sat across from her, and asked “Isn’t this a low turnout for a party?”

“Well, it’s not like Peter has friends or anything to invite. In fact, the King and I are only here for courtesy; he didn’t actually want us to come. He’s fine with the Queen attending though; and of course, you’re his favorite person in and out of Wonderland.”

“I don’t know, I thought he’d have family or something…”

“He never mentions it. To be honest, no one even knew he was capable of feeling any kind of affection before you showed up. He just tries to kill everyone else.”

“Huh…” What makes me so special? Alice wondered. Why did he even bring me to Wonderland in the first place?

“I’m back!” Peter called out. “Let the games begin!”

“What are we playing?” Alice questioned.

“Well, it doesn’t really have a name.” Peter answered. “But in order to participate, one must put on a blindfold, take a gun, and try to shoot as many maids as possible in the time allotted.”


“Oh, don’t worry my joy! They won’t move a muscle while we’re playing, so you’ll be sure to score at least a few points, even though you lack experience with firearms.” He offered her his gun. “You may have the first turn if you like.”

“Peter, that’s called murder! I don’t care if it is your birthday, I’m not letting you slaughter innocent people!”

Peter frowned and opened his mouth to argue, but in the face of Alice’s firmly set jaw he merely sighed. “Very well my dear, if you insist. What would you like to play instead?”

“We’ll do something similar but somewhat less dangerous; how about Pin the Tail on the Donkey? Someone get a picture of a donkey and a needle with some rope attached.”

“Oh, there’s no need for that.” Peter replied. He glared in Ace’s direction. “We already have an ass present; and his sword will work well in place of a needle.”

Ace let out a small laugh. “Geez Peter, that’s pretty harsh. I’ll try to remember that for my birthday. Besides, you’d make a much better target; what with how big your ears are they’d fit on any mule.”

Peter whipped out his pistol and aimed it at Ace’s head. “My ears are a perfectly fine size! And they’re very attractive as well!”

Ace pulled out his sword, and held it in defense. “Peter, shooting at me is asking for a fight.”

“Fine by me; your death is one of the greatest gifts I could ever receive.”

As they readied for dueling stance, Alice yelled “STOP IT, BOTH OF YOU!”

They turned to her and stared.

“Honestly…” Alice sighed. “Put away your weapons and sit down. We’re going to play Musical Chairs. Everyone grab a seat and someone play a song.”

“Only if he takes back that jab about my ears.” Peter fought.

“What about him wanting to skewer me?” Ace added.

“Both of you, apologize now.”

“I’m sorry Peter.”

“I’m sorry…” Peter grumbled. ...Sorry that you are an ass. he finished silently.

“Can we play now?” Alice asked impatiently.

“First agree that my ears are attractive.” Peter conditioned.

“What? No!”

“But aren’t they?” He gazed at her with large, pleading eyes.

“Ugh...fine, yes, they’re the best rabbit ears I’ve ever seen.”

“Really? Fantastic! I can’t wait to tell that mafia dolt you said so!”

...Which is ok because not only is Elliot in denial of his species, he probably wouldn't believe you anyway. Alice thought to herself. “So everything’s fine now, right? We can finally have some fun?”

“Certainly.” Peter smiled brightly. “I’ll go get a musician.”

“By the way,” Ace whispered. “While she probably won’t kill you it’s still in your best interests to let Her Majesty win.”