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The flat felt cold as I sat in my chair across from his. The rain was beating the window, making it sound like a thousand drums in my ears. It’s been so long since that day…that day he….

I can’t think about it or I’ll break down, and Mrs. Hudson has been through enough already without hearing me. I keep up the façade that I’ve gotten over it, but in reality I’m screaming in my head, cursing him over and over.

The cold is starting to get to me. I start to build up the wood in the fireplace to try and chase it away when a knock comes from downstairs. I lean back and wait to hear if Mrs. Hudson answers the door, but I don’t hear her and the door is knocked on again. Slowly getting to my feet I start to make my way down the stairs and to the front door.

Every time I answer the door I whisper a secret plea that Sherlock is on the other side. I slowly open the door, finding only a package waiting on the step. Sighing I pick it up, close the door and walk back up to the flat.

When I reach the open door to my flat I see the fire roaring in the fireplace. I stop and hold my breath, my eyes searching the room, when they come across a figure standing by the window. A tall man with dark hair, he looks sickly thin. He turns and gives me a half smile. I drop the package and start to walk towards him, he flinches, I can only guess because he thinks I’ll punch him. With his frame so much smaller than the last time I saw him I don’t dare strike him with fear that I could break him. As I approach he slowly loosens his body, “John, I’m so sorry,” Sherlock says with a weak expression.

“Sit down” I say as I stare at his clothes. They’re ripped and dirty, like he hasn’t taken care of them in a long time. He smiles at me and walks over to the couch; he looks like he hasn’t slept in days either.

I turn and make my way to the kitchen, thoughts of tea and biscuits flowing through my mind. I take the tea pot out of the cupboard and start the water boiling. Opening a package of biscuits, I look over at Sherlock again. He’s staring down, massaging one hand with the other, he looks nervous. The water is finally boiling and the biscuits are laid out on a plate.

Making my way back from the kitchen he looks up at me. I sit next to him and hand him a biscuit, “Eat,” I say making sure my point is made. Sherlock takes it quickly and shoves it into his mouth chewing it gingerly. When he finally swallows, he gives me another smile, “Thank you John, I haven’t eaten in a while.”
I stare at him for a long time when suddenly I have the urge to hold him in my arms and never let him go. My arms come up and I notice him flinch again but I keep going. I grab his small frame and draw him close to me, my face in the crook of his neck and his face in mine.

After a couple seconds he sighs and brings his arms around my waist as well. I can feel his ribs and his spine through his shirt and I am scared for him. Sherlock squeezes me and I start to feel my neck getting wet.

I push him back staring into his teary eyes and marveling at the amount of emotion I see. “Jesus Sherlock, what happened to you?” I whisper to him realizing I’m holding his hand.

“I….I can’t talk about it yet,” he sniffs. “Can I just be here with you, I’ve wanted to be here since I left you, I’ve missed you so much John.” Sherlock moves fast and wraps his arms around me again.

“Of course Sherlock, I’ve missed you too…so much, but Sherlock I want you to follow me okay?” I say pulling out of his embrace and taking his hand as I begin to stand. He nods and follows me to his old room.

I let go of his hand in the doorway and headed towards his dresser, opening different drawers and taking out a pair of underwear, a t-shirt and some night pants. I never had the heart to get rid of his things, knowing that one day by some miracle he would come back. When I look over at him he’s staring at me, I place the clothes on his old bed and walk back over to him, taking his hand again to lead him towards the bathroom.

His bathroom hadn’t been used in a while but it’s clean never the less, I guess Mrs. Hudson never believed he was dead either. I turned on the taps and felt the temperature of the water. Perfect, I put the plug down and turn back towards Sherlock. He’s just standing in the doorway looking around the room.

I walk back over to him and start to raise my hands to his suit jacket, “May I?” I ask. When I see him nod his head I begin to unbutton his jacket then his shirt. He shudders when my fingers sweep across his chest. I slowly raise my eyes to his and what I see there is no longer sadness but something else entirely.

Calmly I raise my hands from his shirt buttons and cup his face. Suddenly I just can’t take it anymore, I pull his face towards mine and kissed him with every feeling I’ve had since knowing. Sherlock begins to kiss me back, fiercely, and with a desire I haven’t known for so long.

I gradually pull away and smile. Sherlock smiles back at me and I quickly notice his hands are at my waist when he starts pulling my jumper up and over my head; I shiver but continue to smile. Realizing the water is still running I turn and walk back over to turn it off.

When I turn back around, Sherlock is standing right behind me. He grabs my face and kisses me again. I melt against him and bring my arms up and around his bare back. His hands slowly move from my face and find my shirt buttons below, carefully undoing them one at a time until my shirt is wide open.

Sherlock pulls away from me then and looks down. “You know…” he says pausing for a moment. “You stole my first kiss.” I stare at his face knowing this is true. I take one of my hands from behind his back, bringing it up and under his chin to lift his head. “Well then you should know that I love you, you stupid git.” He chuckles at my announcement.

“I thought you weren’t gay?” he says as he moves a strand of hair away from my face. I smirk at him, “Well I guess that’s not true.” Moving my hand from under his chin I slowly stroke the side of his face.

He moaned, closing his eyes and leans his face into my hand. “Well then I guess I love you too John Watson,” Sherlock whispers as he opens his eyes again to stare into mine.

I bring his face close to mine again so I can kiss him gently, the kiss building as it went on. My hands travel down his chest and to his belt buckle. Sherlock shivers under my touch and he brings his hand down to my belt as well.

Taking my time, I undo his belt and slide it from his pants, Sherlock doing the same to mine. I unbutton his pants and slide the zipper down, he copies my every move. Suddenly we’re both pant less standing in just our shorts.

I break the kiss and look down noticing how skinny he is and how pale. Sadness crosses my mind before I see his member is pressed tightly against his shorts, mimicking my own tightness, and the sad thoughts are replaced by lust.

I bring my hands to his waist and pull his shorts down releasing his member, surprise changes my face. With Sherlock being as skinny as he is, his cock is quite impressive. When I look back up at his face he chuckles at my look of surprise. Sherlock bends down slightly and removes my shorts as well finally letting my member free from the cloth cage.

As Sherlock straightened back up our members touched slightly and we both shiver from the contact. “Bath?” I asked realizing I was breathing heavily. Sherlock nodded his head. I placed one leg into the perfectly temperatured bath and then bring the other, Sherlock following suit beside me.

We both sat down, Sherlock on my lap. I stroked his legs and kissed him again. “John I want you,” Sherlock huffed between kisses. That was all the encouragement I needed as I slowly moved my hand towards his entrance. Tracing my fingers around him, I felt him shiver on top of me and moan while he tilting his head back.

Slowly I pushed one finger in, stopping so that Sherlock could adjust. He moaned even louder, so I pushed the rest of my finger in gently.

“JOHN!” Sherlock gasped when my finger was all the way in. I smirked in response and moved my finger slowly in and out of him. Sherlock began grinding his hips against mine, making me even harder.

Gently I pushed the second and third finger in and began to stretch him. Sherlock moaned again and brought his head down to kiss me. Slowly I began to move my fingers deeper inside of him searching for his prostate. Knowing I had found it when he broke the kiss and screamed my name.

“Do you really want me Sherlock?” I asked looking at his wonderful face. “Oh my god John, yes…please,” he moaned. Staring at his face I removed my fingers from him and watched his face morph with pleasure. I grabbed my member and stroked it. It was the hardest it had ever been. Moving carefully I positioned myself at Sherlocks entrance, teasing him as I moved it over him.

Sherlock shivered; when I finally couldn’t take it anymore I pushed my member inside him. Sherlock yelled my name, his walls clenching around me, I moaned his name when I was fully inside him. I stopped before pulling out to give both of us time to adjust to all the sensations.

“Please keep going,” Sherlock pleaded on top on me. He brought his head back down and started kissing me again forcefully. I kissed him back with as much force as he was giving. I grabbed his hips and lifted him up until I was nearly out of him and then slammed him back down.

We both moaned against each other, having Sherlock around me was the most wonderful feeling in the world. As I started to pick up the pace our breathing became more ragged. I just couldn’t get enough of him; slowly I began moving from his mouth and started nipping at his neck and collar bone. Making my way to his nipples where I suckled them continuing to slide in and out of him.

Hearing Sherlock moan my name was the best sound I’ve ever heard. I moved one hand to his shaft pumping him up and down in rhythm to my thrusts. Sherlock grabbed my head and pulled me back up to kiss me.

I felt a tightening in my groin and I knew it wouldn’t be long until I came inside him. Sherlocks cock was twitching in my hand and I knew he wouldn’t be long either. “Oh…John…Yes…OH JOHN!” Sherlock cried out, he was coming in between us with such force he wiped his head back, his mouth in a glorious ‘O’. Sherlocks walls were clenching so hard around me, I slammed into him once more hitting his prostate and making him cry out again at the same time I came inside him and cried myself.
We were both breathing heavily when I brought his lips to mine for a gentle kiss. “How are you feeling?” I asked staring into his eyes.

“Amazing,” Sherlock whispered to me. “Can we do that again?” a smile dancing across his lips.

“Ah, you finally have sex and you can’t get enough, huh?” I chuckled at him. “Of course but I think we should move to the bedroom, don’t you?”

Sherlock placed another kiss on my lips, “Yes I think we should.”

Both Sherlock and I moaned again as I slid myself out of him. We got out, pulling the plug in the tub to drain the water and dried off. Turning towards Sherlock I grabbed his face again and continued our breathless kissing.

When I could feel the bed behind me I broke our kiss and pushed his clothes to the floor. I sat on the edge of the bed and pulled him on top of me when I lay down. Having Sherlock between my legs, naked and on top of me was a wonderful sight. He slowly bent down and kissed my lips before trailing kisses down my jaw and neck. I felt myself become hard again every time he kissed me.

Sherlock slowly made his way down my chest and stomach until his head was between my legs. “Shall I?” he asked peering up at me. “Only if you want to, seeing as this is your first time,” I replied mystified by his eagerness. Gently he placed a hand around the base of my cock and started pumping slowly. Sherlock then placed his lips on the head of my cock, his hot breath making me twitch in his hand. Smiling he licked the head and I nearly jumped out of his grasp, the sensation was amazing, making my mind leap all over.

Suddenly he took me into his mouth. I was so aware of every feeling, how warm and amazingly wet his mouth was. If he kept going like this I`d come immediately.

``Sherlock please stop, oh my god, if you keep doing that I’m going to come right away and I want you inside me first.``

Sherlock released me and came back up to kiss my mouth. “Should I stretch you like you did to me?” he asked pulling away from the kiss. I nodded my head and took one of his hands, sliding three fingers into my mouth to make them wet. Sherlock moaned as I sucked on his fingers, when I released them he moved them down to my entrance, my body screaming for future pleasure.

He slowly circled my opening before gradually pushing the first finger in. The feeling was uncomfortable at first but it soon became amazing, and then his whole finger was inside pumping in and out. It was astonishing, I had never felt anything like it and I craved more. “More Sherlock, please.” I pleaded looking into his eyes. His answer was a second finger entering me, gently he began to scissor my opening, stretching me. Then the third finger came, he pushed them deep inside stroking my walls, when suddenly one of the most incredible feelings hit me.

Sherlock must have hit my prostate because I bucked my hips against his hand and moaned his name. “Shall I fuck you now John?” he said with an impish grin on his face. “Oh God Yes,” I moaned as he withdrew his fingers from me.

He placed his cock at my entrance and pushed the head of it in. Sherlock moaned, no doubt marvelling in the feeling like I was. Deliberately he pushed the rest of the way in, inch after glorious inch he filled me. If I knew when I first met him that sex with Sherlock was going to be this good, I would have fucked him then and there.

He began to thrust in and out of me at a steady pace continuously hitting my prostate. Both of our moans were muffled by our relentless kissing. Suddenly Sherlock began to move at a faster pace making me match him with every thrust, our breathing becoming more ragged. His hand was around my cock pumping me every time he slid himself inside me again.

“Oh…My…God…SHERLOCK!” I yelled. I couldn’t hold out any longer, my orgasm hit me like a continuous wave over and over again. My cum slicked my stomach, as I continued to come. Sherlock finally let out a fierce moan and pulled himself out of me. He kissed me again with so much passion that I was in awe of him.
Sherlock rolled over and moved the blankets so we could get under them. We laced our legs together and wrapped our arms around each other marvelling in the afterglow of our love making. I kissed him gingerly, while stroking his back. Pulling away, I looked at his face.

“I love you so much Sherlock, please promise me that you’ll never leave me like that again?” I pleaded, worry pinching my brows together. Sherlock smiled and leaned forward to kiss my forehead. “After finally finding that I love you and you love me back. Do you think I would ever let that go?”

Relief flooded through me upon hearing his words. “Good,” I said kissing him again. I turned over to my other side and let him spoon me, his face tucked between my neck and shoulder.

“I will love you forever John, never doubt that.” Sherlock whispered into my ear. I slowly turned my head and kissed him. “And never doubt my love either.” I whispered back.

Turning back, I pushed myself against him and sighed. Tonight was the craziest night of my life, but it was definitely the best. Finally knowing that he loved me the same way I did him made my whole being sing. With the memories of tonight stirring through my mind and Sherlock already asleep behind me, I drifted off to the best sleep I’ve had in years.