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Let's Go to Bed

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Let me take your hands I'm shaking like milk

Turning, turning blue all over the windows and the floors

Fires outside and the sky looks as perfect as cats

Sonny is standing with Amanda near the window watching fireworks, the loud noise of the party behind them. A beautiful series of Hello Kitty faces bloom into the sky. Shaking, he turns towards her and takes her hands. She faces him noticing the blue of his dress shirt spilling onto the wall behind him. A trick of the light.

The two of us together again

It's just the same

A stupid game

This wasn't the first time he'd taken her hands like this . . .

But I don't care if you don't

And I don't feel if you don't

And I don't want it if you don't

And I won't say it i f you won't say it first

But it was the first time he kissed her – deeply, passionately, drawing her lips up to his with both hands on her cheeks, pulling her closer until -

"It didn't really mean anything," he says, pulling away when he senses her discomfort.

"Of course not," she answers, feigning nonchalance.

"We don't have to. . ." he trails off.

She stares at him. Waiting. Waiting for him to say something he never seems to say.

You think you're tired now

But wait until three

Laughing at the Christmas lights

You remember from December

He leads her back to the main room. The Christmas tree is still up.

"Oh, I remember this," Amanda says and points at it, laughing. "How in the hell did your cousin pull this off? Find only red lights for you?"

"I have no idea. But they match your dress."

They are standing close enough to the Christmas tree that the blinking reflections of the lights are all over her crimson dress and Sonny stares at the patterns they make. He is mesmerized as they seemingly move all over her body. He moves closer and circles his hands about her waist.

"Remember this?" he says softly as he starts to sway and places his forehead on hers.

"Yes," she says glumly and pulls away. "But I'm tired of this."

"Wait until after midnight," he chuckles, intentionally 'misunderstanding.' "This party will probably rage on until at least three."

All of this and back again

Another girl

Another name

Stay alive and stay the same

It's a stupid game

A stupid game

"I'm not tired. I'm tired of . . ." she won't say it. He needs to say it first.

"This is stupid," he says simply.

"So was Mary. Or was it Marion? Perhaps Muriel?"


She leaves him standing there.

But I don't care if you don't

And I don't feel if you don't

And I don't want it if you don't

And I won't play it i f you won't play it first

He stares bitterly at the Christmas tree, remembering. Remembering all the times she had rejected him – she was never ready.

She is staring out the window where the fireworks had been, arms crossed, trying not to feel. And wondering why he thought he could -

Why couldn't he see another woman if she wouldn't even give him the time of day?

Why hasn't he apologized yet? And why isn't he coming after her?

You can't even see now

So you ask me the way

You wonder if it's real because it couldn't be rain

Somehow Amanda finds herself blindfolded playing a game with the other party-goers. Sonny had made himself scarce quite a while ago even though it was his place. It was close to three and the party is still going strong. So when she hears that 'pop' and cries of "Happy New Year's" she half wonders what that liquid is that's raining down on her. It can't possibly be yet another bottle of champagne can it?

She grabs for the nearest person, and her hand lands on a sinewy elbow. "Can you take me to go get cleaned up? I'm not allowed to take this blindfold off until –"

The elbow begins leading her down a hallway before she finishes. She knows it's his. Sonny's.

Through the right doorway and into the white room

It used to be the dust that would lay here when I came here alone

They turn right and he sits her down on the bed. She hears some running water and then he joins her and she feels a towel patting at her dress. At one point he lifts her hair up to run the towel behind her ear, and he goes agonizingly slow, following it with a slender finger.

The towel drops and the finger continues down her neck, dipping low into her dress. She feels warm lips caress the top of her bosom. Lips that trail up to her neck and then bite the tendon below her ear. She moans and leans into him.

"Here," he says and slowly removes her blindfold. "I want you to see something."

His room is so bright white for a second it almost gives her a headache.

Sonny runs a hand along part of the bedspread. "This is where I don't sleep. This is the side of my bed that's been reserved for you. Do you know how many times I have come back here alone?"

But I don't care if you don't

And I don't feel if you don't

And I don't want it if you don't

And I won't play it i f you won't play it first

"But Mary . . ."

"You didn't want me, Amanda, remember?"

"But -"

"But what? I wasn't going to force your hand, Amanda. You weren't ready and I was tired of waiting."

She looks down at her hands.

"It doesn't mean I didn't care," he says softly and turns her face to look at him. "I saved this side of my bed for you regardless."

Let's go to bed

Let's go to bed

Finally softening, Amanda gives Sonny a tender smile and says, "Let's go to bed then."

"Let's," he answers and has her pushed back onto the bed in seconds, his dress shirt popped off, her red party dress removed in a jiffy. He's wanted this for far too long. Grown tired of playing the waiting game.

They fuck so hard that night that the bed breaks early on, but they only acknowledge it with a little laugh and continue, only really noticing it in the morning when they wake up in a tangled mess of sheets and sweat, a broken frame beneath them.