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A Future Worth Loving

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"Hey, Y/N, I have a favor to ask you." Clint said to you, as you were watching TV.
"Yeah?" You turned towards him.
"All of us except Bucky are going on a mission tomorrow and my wife is in South Carolina with her sister, do you mind babysitting my kids? I'll bring them to the tower, all you have to do is entertain them." He asked you, "My usual babysitter won't be available."
"Oh, of course! I love kids!" You were excited, if you hadn't become an Avenger, you would've become a elementary school teacher.
"Really? Awesome!" He continued to give you information about his children and you hung on to every word he said, you were so excited!
"Can Bucky watch over them too?" You and Bucky were inseparable friends.
"Uh... Yeah, just watch with him." Clint said, hesitantly.
"What do you mean by that?" You got slightly defensive.
"I mean he's still a bit vulnerable from HYDRA's control, and I care for my children's well being, Y/N." He saw your face heat up a bit from anger, "I'm sorry, but they're my kids."
You took a deep breath.
"Okay, Clint. Bucky will be just fine."
"I trust you." He hesitated again. "And Bucky too."
"You're damn right." You huffed.

After he left to go pack for the mission, you went to go tell Bucky that you and him were babysitting Clint's kids.
"I don't want to." Bucky said, turning around, sadness evident in his voice.
"C'mon, Buck!" You put your hand on his metal shoulder and turned him to face you, noticing how he flinched. "I need you."
"Why do you think they don't put me on missions, Y/N?!" He rose his voice at you, for the first time.
"Bu-" He cut you off.
"Because I'm FUCKING DANGEROUS! Why don't you SEE that?! WHY?!" He got in your face, almost screaming at you.
Tears welled up in your eyes.
"Because you're more than that, more than what you see in the mirror, more than what they made you." You whispered, a tear rolling down your cheek, you quickly wiped it off.
Bucky pretended he didn't see the tears in your eyes, pretended that one didn't hit the floor in his room.
"Don't spout that bullshit on me, Y/N, those are LIES! I don't want to." He turned away from you again. "Go away!"
Your heart sank.
"And to think I stuck up for you, bastard! Hope you rot in your own wallowing sadness!" You slammed the door on your way out.
You ran to the elevator, and tried to hold back tears, but they spilled all over, drowning you. You always chose the worst people to fall in love with.
You sniffled harshly as the doors to the elevator opened, revealing Thor.
"Lady Y/N? Are you okay?" His voice boomed.
You attempted to rush past him, but he caught your arm.
"What happened?" He asked, sympathetically.
You couldn't hold it back anymore, so the tears flowed down your cheeks as you tried to cry quietly.
"He-he hates me, and himself! And I'm sick of falling for the hateful, resentful men!"
"And who is this?"'
"Bucky." You whispered. "I just want to prove to him that he doesn't have to be hateful towards himself, but now he hates me!"
"Lady Y/N, he doesn't hate you." Thor said softly, well as softly as he could, because he has seen the way he looks at you. "It's quite the opposite, it's because he wouldn't want to see you hurt."
"Well, he hurt me."
Thor pulled you in for a hug, and you accepted it, crying into his chest.

Bucky felt like shit as soon as he saw your tear-streaked face and slammed the door shut. He sat on his bed, his hands tangled in his hair, eyes shut.
"Shit!" He muttered, "I've ruined everything!"
He got up and kicked his bed, and paced his room.
"Ruined fucking everything!"
He walked out of his room with his motorcycle keys in hand, he was going out for a ride.
He passed the kitchen and saw you and Thor hugging. Bucky gritted his teeth together, wanting a relationship like that with you. He was jealous of Thor's easygoing personality.
He wanted to stomp right over there, yank you away from him and kiss you, wipe away the tears he caused, but that's the thing. He caused you sadness and pain. And he has no right to love you.
He walked out of the tower, got on his motorcycle and drove aimlessly around New York.

Later that night, as you laid in bed and tried to fall asleep, you heard a light tap on your door.
You padded over to the door, in hardly decent clothing, but who cares? You opened the door to see a disheveled Bucky, bags under his eyes, his hair was a mess and he looked beaten down.
"Hey." He muttered, blushing as soon as he saw you in boy-cut shorts. "Can I come in?"
You thought about it.
"I'm sorry." He said.
"Yeah, okay." You said sarcastically, yet you felt the tears come on. "Just go away Bucky."
"Please, I need you," He looked in your eyes, "I never meant to hurt you, I am so sincerely sorry."
He held out a white teddy bear holding a flower.
A tear rolled down your face as you accepted, it's fur was so soft.
"Thank you." You sniffled. " I told you that you weren't a horrible person and you didn't believe me." You held the teddy bear close to your heart, "Would someone 'dangerous' do something like this?"
You took a sniff of the rose, and opened the door to Bucky.
"Thank you." Bucky said, close to tears himself. "It's just that..." He didn't know how to tell you.
"What?"
"I get these nightmares, okay? And they are of when I was controlled by HYDRA, and I relive the times I was made to kill people. I was a murderer!" A tear slid down his unshaven face.
"Bucky. Murderers choose to kill people, you didn't decide that." You placed a hand on his arm.
"And I've had this same dream for a month." He took a deep breath. "Each time I have to kill you."
You looked up at him, at his pained eyes. And you tilted his chin so he was forced to look at you. He closed his eyes and moved your hand to his cheek and leaned against it.
"You would never kill me." You whispered, "You're good now, you were always good."
You pulled him in for a loving embrace.
"Can I sleep here tonight?" He whispered, his arms around you, he craved your touch.
"Of course." You smiled.

At one in the morning you and Bucky were still up, talking about how much the world has changed, and at the end of the conversation (or when you both finally were dozing off), Bucky pulled you in to lay your head on his chest.
"Thank you, doll. I love you." He whispered.
"I love you too, Bucky." You tried to kiss his cheek, but your lips planted on his jaw instead.
He pulled you on top of him and gave you a kiss on your lips.
"Had to, doll-face. Your lips are too tempting."
"You don't disappoint." You chuckled.
You both fell asleep, cuddling.

The next day, Clint got Cooper, who was 9, Lila, who's 7 and the 8 month old Nathaniel at the tower at 10. You and Bucky were taught everything you needed to know about taking care of them.
When the team left at 1, Cooper and Lila were watching TV and Nathaniel was in the portacrib that Clint brought, they set up everything in Bucky's room, which was bigger than yours.
Half an hour later Nathaniel started crying, you picked him up and fed him. After that, you rocked him back to sleep.
Bucky watched you from the couch, smiling.
"Whatcha smiling at, Bucky?" Lila asked him.
"My future." He said, listening to you sing the baby a lullaby.