???: Well, it's certainly a... unique plan.
Monokuma: Oh, you think? Stop, I'm blushing.
???: But how exactly do you plan to do it? Bring people from other realities to compete in a mutual killing game?
Monokuma: Pshaw, it's simple once you understand the rules of particle physics, and astrophysics, and pretty much every other type of physics.
???: It shouldn't be possible. But I should know by now not to doubt you, I suppose.
Monokuma: There's a good little minion. Now shhh, the device is bringing in our first player!
Welcome back to Despair High
???: Hello~ Rise and shine, sleepyhead.
I can hear somebody speaking, but even after opening my eyes, it takes a while for them to focus on the person speaking.
Purple Haired Girl: Ah! About time.
Purple Haired Girl: Yeah, I'm talking to you. How ya feelin'?
Purple Haired Girl: Eh, you'll walk it off.
Hayato: Where... where are we?
Purple haired girl: [Shrugs] Dunno. I just woke up here, same as you. Name's Neptune by the way.
Ultimate Main Character
Hayato: Hayato Suzuki.
Ultimate Average Guy
Hayato: Any idea how to get out of this room?
Neptune: [Looks away] Nah, puzzles ain't my style.
Hayato: I guess that means you're leaving it up to me?
Neptune: [Thumbs up] If you're offering.
This looks like your run of the mill school dorm. But...
[Look at beds.]
There's two beds in here. One with blue sheets, one with pink.
Hayato: Are we supposed to... share a room?
Neptune: What, like in the biblical sense? [Winks] Sorry hombrȇ, you're not my type.
Hayato: No, I'm talking about the two beds.
Neptune: [Smug] Oh, sure...
Hayato: I'm serious!
Man, this girl...
[Look at door]
Neptune: [Annoyed] Gee, why didn't I think of that.
Hayato: I could do without the sarcasm, thank you.
[Look at desk]
There's a note on the desk.
Neptune: Ooh, what's it say?
Dear participants 1-A and 2-A
You have been selected for the Multi Dimensional Mutual Killing Game.
But this killing game has a twist!
Two participants are heavily encouraged to work together in order to escape the school.
Hayato Suzuki, the Ultimate Average Guy, and Neptune, the Ultimate Main Character, the two of you will be a team.
If either of you successfully graduates from the school, both of you will be allowed to return to your own worlds. And to spice things up even more, if you get caught, only the person who does the actual killing will be punished! It's a win-win situation for the team member who does nothing!
Signed, your loving headmaster, Monokuma
Neptune: Mutual killing game? What's that?
Hayato: It's bad news. I've heard legends of the mutual killing games that went down during the tragedy.
Neptune: The.. tragedy?
Hayato: You know, the worst, most tragic, most despair inducing event in the history of mankind.
Neptune: [Confused] And you lost me.
Hayato: Wait, are you serious? You've never heard of the tragedy? What are they teaching you kids nowadays?
Neptune: [Annoyed] First off, I'm older than you. Way older, by like, a billion years. [Confused] and second, if their was any sort of tragedy, I'd know about it. I am CPU of Planeptune after all.
Hayato: What's a Planeptune?
Neptune: We... aren't in Planeptune?
Hayato: Nowhere like that exists. You're clearly delusional.
Neptune: Doesn't exist my tushie! I'm pretty sure I know where I live, Hayato.
Hayato: I'm telling you, I know my geography fairly well, and unless it's some rural European town that nobody's heard of, there's no such place as 'Planeptune'.
Neptune: You're-a-peein'? Gross, dude.
Hayato: What, does Europe not exist in whatever world you came..from...
No... that can't be right...
Neptune: Hayato, you're sort of trailing off, there.
The Multi Dimensional Mutual Killing Game...
Neptune: Hello? Earth to Hayato?
Neptune never heard of the tragedy....
Neptune: You're freakin' me out, dude.
And she comes from a place that doesn't exist...
Neptune: You know what, screw it, I'm bustin' this door down myself.
And she's never heard of places that do exist...
Hayato: You're from another dimension.
Neptune: [Annoyed] Oh, come on, again?
Neptune: Yeah, this ain't my first rodeo. I've jumped dimensions like nobody's business.
Hayato: You've got to be kidding me.
Is this girl for real?
[Look at desk]
Hayato: Aha! Here's the key.
Neptune: Not exactly well hidden, huh?
[Look at Door]
Hayato: And... unlocked. You ready to go?
Neptune: [Thumbs up] Ready when you are, champ!
Once out of the dorm room, Neptune and I run into another pair, just leaving their own room
Gruff looking boy: Yo. You wake up here too?
Imposing girl: It would seem that we are not the only people here. Tatsumi.
Hayato: Hey there. I'm Hayato Suzuki. The letter in our room called me the 'Ultimate Average Guy'
Neptune: And I'm Neptune. The Ultimate Main Character.
Gruff looking boy: Kanji Tatsumi. Ultimate Seamster.
Kanji: [Mad] What? You got a problem!?
Hayato: N-No! Of course not.
I should probably watch what I say around this guy. He looks like he could break me in half with a flick of the wrist
Imposing Girl: I am Satsuki Kiryuin. The Ultimate Student Council President.
Ultimate Student Council President
These two are certainly... a pair of characters. If this is a real mutual killing game, then I should definitely watch out for them
[Move to Cafeteria]
[Talk to Blond Cyborg]
Is this guy... a robot?
Blond Cyborg: Do you need something?
Hayato: No, just making the rounds, introducing myself. My name's Hayato Suzuki. I'm the Ultimate Average Guy
Blond Cyborg: It's nice to meet you, Hayato Suzuki. My name is Genos. I've been given the title of Ultimate Cyborg.
Hayato: So, you really are a cyborg?
Genos: Correct. I was almost killed when my town was destroyed. I was built a new body so I could take my revenge on the cyborg that killed my family.
Sheesh, this guy's had it rough.
[Talk to Eyepatch girl]
Eyepatch girl: Who goes there?
Hayato: Uh, my name's Hayato Suzuki, I'm the Ultimate Average Guy.
Eyepatch Girl: Rikka Takanashi. Owner of the Tyrant's Eye.
Rikka: Are you the one who trapped me here?
Hayato: No. I was kidnapped just like you.
Rikka: Very well. You may live another day, but should you dare cross me, you will know the full force of my power.
Hayato: I'll keep that in mind.
[Move to Main Hall]
[Look at gate]
This must be the school gate. It's barred off with a vault door, just like in the stories.
[Talk to gothic lolita girl]
Hayato: Hey there.
Gothic lolita girl: Whadda you want?
Hayato: Just introducing myself. I'm Hayato Suzuki.
Gothic lolita girl: Stocking.
Gothic lolita girl: My name. It's Stocking.
Ultimate Sweets Addict
That's not a name!
Stocking: If your done bothering me, can you kindly fuck off?
Hayato: Uh, sure, if you want...
[Talk to Man in lab coat]
Hayato: Uh, hello?
Man in lab coat: Hmm? You're brave enough to approach the mad scientist of madness, Houoin Kyouma?
Ultimate Mad Scientist
Hayato: The who of what?
Houoin: [Poses] The mad scientist of madness! The one with knowledge no human should be privy to, and will engulf this world in chaos! Fuhahaha!
It's probably a bad sign this this is far from the weirdest person I've met today.
Hayato: Well, I'd better get going, lots of people to meet, y'know?
[Talk to masculine girl]
Masculine girl: Do you need something?
Hayato: I'm just getting to know everyone. My name's Hayato Suzuki, the Ultimate Average Guy.
Masculine girl: Miyabi. I am the Ultimate Evil Shinobi.
Ultimate Evil Shinobi
That's one hell of a title.
Hayato: So you're, like, a ninja?
Miyabi: Correct. Though I am still technically in training.
[Talk to armoured boy]
Hayato: Hi there.
Armoured boy: Oh, hey.
Hayato: I don't think we've been introduced. My name's Hayato Suzuki. I'm the Ultimate Average Guy.
Armoured boy: Jaune Arc. Ultimate Lucky Student.
Ultimate Lucky Student
So, they're really going for a 'Hope's Peak' sort of vibe then. But why ultimate and not Super High School Level?
Jaune: But I've never really been that lucky, like, ever. Must be an ironic title.
And once again, nobody gets the Hope's Peak theming. It's almost a shame.
[Move to A/V room]
[Talk to man with sketch pad]
Man with sketch pad: [Looking down]....
Hayato: I said hello.
Man with sketch pad: I heard you. I just see no point in responding.
Hayato: My name's Hayato Suzuki.
Man with sketch pad: Is it?
This is getting ridiculous.
Hayato: What's your name?
Man with sketch pad: Rohan Kishibe. [Looks up] Now please leave me alone.
It's not like I'd ever get anywhere with him. I may as well just do as he asks.
[Talk to sweet looking girl]
Hayato: Hello there.
Sweet looking girl: Um, hello...
Hayato: My name's Hayato Suzuki. What's yours?
Sweet looking girl: Madoka... Kaname...
Ultimate Magical Girl
This girl's way to innocent to be stuck in a mutual killing game...
[Talk to Unassuming boy]
Unassuming boy: Oh, hey. Name's Koyomi Araragi. Note on my desk called me the Ultimate Oddity Expert.
Ultimate Oddity Expert
Koyomi: Y'know, legendary creatures. Vampires, Zombies, that sort of thing.
Hayato: You believe all that stuff exists.
Koyomi: Well, between you and me, I'm a vampire myself. Used to be one, at least.
You know what. I'll believe anything today. This is fine.
[Move to Gym Entrance]
[Talk to Red haired girl]
Red haired girl: Heh, what business do you have with the future queen of hell, Satania McDowell?
Satanichia Kurumizawa McDowell
Satania:[Smug] Hmph, to afraid of my vast evil to speak? I don't blame you, Mortal!
Is there a single normal person in this damn school!?
[Talk to generic looking man]
Generic looking man: Huh? Oh, hi.
Hayato Suzuki: I'm Hayato Suzuki, nice to meet you.
Generic looking man: Kimhito Kurusu.
Ultimate Nice Guy
Kimhito: Man, is there anybody here my age? I feel like a creep, trapped in here with a bunch of teenagers.
[Talk to Anxious looking girl]
Hayato: Hey there.
Anxious looking girl: …
Her lips were moving just now, but I didn't hear anything...
Hayato: Are you okay?
Anxious looking girl: …
Once again, I couldn't hear a thing.
Anxious looking girl: ...Tomoko.
Anxious looking girl: My name...Tomoko...Kuroki
Hayato: Well, it's nice to meet you, Tomoko.
Tomoko: [Nervous smile]...
Not much of a talker, huh?