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Super Wario Bros.: Daily Life At The Rebooted Smash

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Episode 1: Dawn Of The Memes

November tenth, 2016. That day... had a feeling like no other. The wind felt so new, even to the oldest residents of the Smash world. The sunlight seemed fresh instead of its same old, warm, touch upon the world. Everything... it felt new... as if the world had been partially reset by an angel, back to a certain part in time. As if, even though the events before the reset would still happen, they would be different.


Well, the angel bit was indeed wrong. Hell, I'm the farthest thing away from an angel. But, the world truly had been reset. And hopefully for the best.

The tale of the rebooted world began at the same spot the original did: at the fourth Smash Grounds, built right in front of a lush, thick forest, with rolling hills on both the left and right, and a flat plain leading to a beach not too far from the plain. But, enough of that. In the exact middle of the Smash Grounds was the Smasher's Palace, AKA totally not the Smash Mansion. Right on the roof of the palace were two of the temporary residents: Wario and Waluigi, both of them sunbathing.

"I'm bored, my stomach's burning, and my urge to do something stupid is rising" Wario grumbled.

"Waa, me too. Do you think Falco's done washing that Arwing yet?" Waluigi asked. "Or maybe Crazy and the rest of those guys who went shopping are back? Or maybe something incredibly important is about to happen?"

"I dunno, but I don't care if Falco's done or not," Wario replied, getting up off of his back. He quickly grabbed and wrapped up the towel he was sitting on and started walking towards the stairs... until a scream was heard, which froze Wario in his tracks.

"Waa, what's with the scream?" Waluigi pondered. Suddenly, another scream nearly identical to the first one filled the area, getting louder as the source of the screams, Snake, was sent flying over them. Just as flew over Waluigi, he dropped a flash drive from his left hand, leaving it to spiral down onto Waluigi's face as he continued his path, over the mansion and through the clean air. Once the flash drive landed on Waluigi's nose, he let out a quick bass boosted scream of pain.

"What was that all about?" Wario asked.

"Bah, forget about why he was flying! He dropped a flash drive!" Waluigi commented, picking the device off of his nose. Wario rushed over to get a better look at the flash drive before swiping it from his brother's grasp.

"Well... this sure isn't Snake's flash drive thing..." Wario stated.

"How do you figure that?"

"Eh, I've seen Snake's flash drive before. It's got some stupid design of a nearly naked woman on it. Typical of him and disgusting. This one's blander than the stupid jokes that goddess of losers pulls."

"So... what are you gonna do about it? Go and look for the owner?"

"Yeeeeah, but I ain't going to just wander around this place, completely clueless on who to look for. I'mma gonna be heading to my computer so I can put this in and get some clues."

"But Wario, what if that thing's got viruses in it? Or worse!" Waluigi exclaimed.


"It could have pictures of Mario on it!"

~Haunted Graveyard from Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon starts to play~

Suddenly, a chill went up Wario's spine. The thought of having to so much as see Mario more than he had to terrified, but mostly annoyed, his soul.

"... Well, the less I have do deal with this stupid flash drive, the better. Even if it means having to see that loser Mario," Wario replied before the two made it back inside the palace.


~Haunted Graveyard stops as Serious Trouble from Mario & Luigi: Partners In Time starts~

"IDIOT! YOU COMPLETE IDIOT! DO YOU NOT REALIZE THAT YOUR ACTIONS HAVE CONSEQUENCES?!" Professor Elvin Gadd screamed, swinging a Golden Hammer at Zelda as the two ran around in a circle, right at the palace's gates, with Dark Pit the edgelord watching while taking a sip of some Capri-Sun.

"He was being a pervert! I had full right to defend myself!" Zelda argued.

"He only made a single perverted comment on your bust size! That doesn't excuse your poor choice of sending him flying with a swing of a hammer!" E. Gadd exclaimed. "Especially when you know he's carrying something important that could easily be broken or worse!"

"What are these two arguing about?" Cloud asked Dark Pit as he approached the scene.

"Something about Snake being a fucking sick pervert like he always is and some fucking stupid flash drive," Dark Pit answered, throwing in unneeded curse words into his sentence because he's edgy.

"Hey! You could at least treat this situation with more respect if you aren't going to help out, edgy brat!" E. Gadd complained. "That flash drive had a bunch of important data on it! Confidential data, one-thousand degree glowing knife experiments... That could very well be down the drain now, or worse, in the hands of an idiot!"

"What kind of confidential data could possibly be so bad that leaving it in the hands of a moron would actually being a problem besides maybe deleting it?" Cloud asked.

~Serious Trouble stops playing as King Bowser from the same game starts~

"Most of it really isn't concerning, but... there's one program on there. One that is... very easy to mess around with. One that has access to... to..." E. Gadd stopped chasing Zelda to take everything in, realizing that things were far worse than initially thought. "Oh NO! NO NO NO!"

"Is it really that bad?" Cloud asked.

"THERE'S NO TIME TO EXPLAIN! THE LONGER I LEAVE THAT FLASH DRIVE OUT THERE, THE ODDS OF SOMEONE EXPLOITING THAT PROGRAM GO UP!" Elvin then ran off in a hurry towards the palace before Cloud followed him.


~King Bowser stops playing~

Right in front of the Wario Bros. room stood Falco Lombardi, the closest friend the two idiot brothers had at the Smasher's Palace. He had been knocking at the door, saying "Wario" for hours... although a quick laugh track was heard every time he said that word.

"Waa, looks like Falco was done cleaning that Arwing of his," Wario commented as the two bros. entered the hall. Just as they were right next to Falco, they noticed something at the end of the hall. Something that really annoyed the Wario Bros., enough for them to get an annoyed look on their faces as they stared intently at it.

"Wario," Falco said for one last time as he knocked on the door, resulting in another pointless laugh track. It was then that he realized that Wario and Waluigi were right there, still staring. "Oh, there you are, Wario! Where were you?" Of course, as soon as he said that, yet ANOTHER annoying laugh track played. "And what's with the laughing?"

"Look over there," Waluigi groaned, pointing towards the source of the laugh tracks. It was Ness, who was carrying around a boombox for some reason. As soon he knew that his cover was blown, he started walking away, but not before playing the Seinfeld theme song on his boombox.

"What was the point of that?" Falco wondered like any sane bird would.

"I dunno, he's probably just trying to spread some bad jokes around," Waluigi remarked. "I kinda thought the Seinfeld bit was funny though."

"Whatever. We have more important stuff to worry about," Wario said. The fat plumber swung the door to the room wide open and leaped inside, with Waluigi and Falco heading in seconds later. Before messing around with the flash drive, the Wario Bros. yanked some of their usual plumber clothes out of the drawer and put them on over their swimsuits.

"So... what's the "more important stuff to worry about"?" Falco asked. "Did you encounter any of those evil toast lovers?!"

"Waa, we found this flash drive while we were sunbathing," Wario answered, adjusting his hat before pulling out said flash drive. "Now we need to plug it into our computer to see if we can find out who it belongs to."

"Just need to turn this computer tower on and put the thing in..." Waluigi muttered. He pressed the single button on the computer tower, turning the whole system on instantly as Wario jammed the flash drive into the slot. "And there we go!"

"Wahoo! The flash drive's files are already on the screen!" Wario commented, taking control of the mouse. "Now let's see... OneThousandDegreeKnife folder, GhostInfoDump folder... there's nothing that gives us any clear hints!"

"Come on, you only listed a few things when there's at least a good number of folders and programs left," Waluigi stated. "Speaking of programs... PressAllTheButtons+ThrowToiletPaper+TickleIt . exe? What kind of file name is that?!"

"I dunno, sounds like a reference to me, even though I have no clue as to what it's referencing. And it's still better than this image file called "I-Hate-The-Fact-That-Fanfiction-Dot-Net-Doesn't-Allow-Periods-Directly-Between-Words . exe," Wario said. "Say, what's with this program, this InternetConnection . exe thing?"

"Clickitclickitclickit!" Falco demanded, failing his arms around like a friggin' moron.

"Like I wasn't going to. Let's-a see what this program is!" Wario replied. He dragged the mouse over the unusual program and slowly clicked on it...

~Lost World Anthem from Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy's Kong-Quest starts to play~

... which caused a wormhole to quickly appear right in front of the computer screen. The trio backed away from the wormhole in fear, even though it wasn't attempting to suck anything in. However, two figures appeared within the portal, slowly approaching the exit.

"What... did we just do?!" Waluigi screamed, shivering. "What kind of program is that?!"

"Hey, this portal reminds me of the one I came out of when we first started existing! Only with less demons or whatever flying around!" Wario pointed out.

"Oh yeah. Now I ain't scared at all," Waluigi replied.

... It was then that the two figures were forced out of the portal. One was a dangerous weapon... but then there was the second one. A living creature... yet it was a creature that not even the bizarre worlds of Nintendo were used to... an immense amount of power was practically radiating off of it... and the creepiest stare anyone could possibly imagine.

It was the true meme god. Few could stand a chance against him if he were to unleash even half of his true power. No other meme came even close to his power, speed, or abilities.

A-N-D H-I-S N-A-M-E I-S W-E-E-G-E-E.

~Lost World Anthem stops playing as Sealed Ruin Pit from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts~

Weegee quickly vanished for a split second before reappearing right the same spot, now standing right on his feet. After wiping some dust of his face, he took in the surrounding view... only to realize that he had no idea where he was. Or more importantly, where his brother, Malleo, was.

"What... the hell is going on?" the meme questioned.

"I... I know this guy! His name is Weegee, the king of memes! " Wario stated.

"Well, that got my introduction out of the way... but that doesn't matter. Now what is going on? Where am I?!"

"Uhh... we kinda... summoned you," Waluigi answered.

"If you summoned me, you better have a very good reason for it. I have a life to live."

"Er... well, it was on accident," Wario said, scratching the back of his head.

"It... WHAT?! You summoned me just on accident?! You took me away from more important matters... FOR ABSOLUTELY NOTHING?!" Weegee yelled, his face turning slightly red.

"Yeah, sure did!" Wario proudly said with a smile.

"H-hey, I'm sure we can send you back... no need to get so cranky..." Falco suggested.

"Oh, I have a need to get so cranky! My brother's all alone! He must have saw that I was sucked in by that portal! Now he probably thinks that I'm gone forever, and with the only person who can comfort him... ME, gone, he's going to lose his mind! And since you fucking morons claim to say you brought me here on accident, I have no reason to put faith in any attempt to send me back! Speaking of... how the hell did you maniacs accomplish this anyways?!"

"We used a program on that flash drive!" Wario answered.

"Hmph. At least you're good for answering questions, assholes," Weegee muttered. He then swiped the flash drive out of the computer, instantly closing the portal in the process. "Now I can get back to Malleo myself."

"Hey! No one said you could take that!" Wario shouted. Weegee launched a punch in response, sending Wario flying back into the wall, leaving big cracks in it.

"And no one said you could do this to me, yet you did it anyways. Now then, if you'll excuse me, I'll be off to do far more important things," Weegee commented before teleporting out of the room.

~Sealed Ruin Pit stops playing~

"NO NO NO!" E. Gadd screamed as he, Lucario, and Cloud barged into the room. "Now I'll never get that flash drive back!"

"What the heck were you idiots doing?!" Lucario demanded to know.

"We just clicked on one program on the drive and BOOM! A portal comes out of nowhere and leaves us with a weapon and an angry meme!" Wario said. "We didn't know any of that was going to happen!"

"I suppose that's my fault... I really should have named that program to warn people about activating it," E. Gadd sighed. "But still! You three need to help find that... meme, and get that flash drive back before he discovers the true potential of that program!"

"Why us?! You even said it yourself! It was your fault that we clicked on that thing to begin with!" Waluigi argued.

"He may have made a mistake, but you were still the ones getting into stuff that you shouldn't have!" Lucario said.

"Even disregarding that fact, that "meme" thing could be a big threat with that flash drive in his hands," Cloud added. "And even without the drive, that Luigi clone could start trouble."

"They're right guys. We really need to help out," Falco told his two friends.

"I mean, you guys have a point... but he only implied he was going to use that thing to get back home! It's not like he's going to do anything else!" Waluigi stated. Lucario was just about to continue the argument when an explosion shook the ground.

"Now what was that?!" E. Gadd wondered. Falco grabbed the weapon before everyone ran out of the room, leaving a massive trail of dust in their wake.


~Battle! Deoxys from Pokémon: Omega Ruby/ Alpha Sapphire starts to play~

Right on top of the Prism Tower stage sat Weegee, firing off laser beams from his eyes to destroy as much as he could in an attempt to get revenge on the Wario Bros. and Falco. Everyone who where at the Smash Grounds at the time, aside from Wario and his gang, were gathered around the base of the tower, trying to think of a way to get up to the evil meme.

"So absolutely no one but Master Hand knows how to activate the moving platforms?" Snake asked.

"Eh, I don't need some platforms to get to the top of a tower. All I need is some a good, fast jump and I'm golden!" Sonic claimed before he ran a bit towards the tower at full speed. Right before he would have otherwise crashed into the pseudo-building, he instead used the Spring Jump technique at full force, launching himself right up into the sky above Weegee. Thinking he'd only need one blow to finish the meme off, he then used a flying kick, falling downwards towards Weegee's head.

~Battle! Deoxys stops~

... But Weegee easily teleported away and Sonic fell all the way down back to the ground, creating a loud and large crash upon doing so.

~Battle! Deoxys starts again~

"Idiot. Making an attack so obvious that it can be dodged easily," Weegee commented as he reappeared on the tower. "Oh well, back to destroying everything." He then proceeded to fire another laser right at the group gathered at the tower's base, forcing them to jump out of the attack's way. Just then, Wario and his crew bursted through the front doors of the palace, noticing all the damage Weegee had done to the now burning Battlefield stage and was now causing around Prism Tower, with Falco dropping the weapon at the burning sight.

"Ooh, so that's what Weegee meant by want by doing something else more important. He wanted to go sight seeing!" Falco idiotically commented.

"Fantastic guess on what he's doing, bird brain. But hey, you might want to see the damage Weegee has already done if you want to know what he's actually doing. And Master Hand will only get even more upset if anything else gets destroyed, so let's quit focusing on what's already destroyed and focus on stopping that meme!" Lucario shouted.

"Good thing I already have a plan!" Waluigi said.

"And it's a plan that will get us all killed, isn't it?" Lucario groaned, causing the Wario Bros. and Falco to glare at him for a moment.

"Wario, Cloud, and I will go distract Weegee while the rest of you guys find some stuff around the palace that could help us out... like that book of how to get Lucario to shut up!" the lanky plumber said proudly.

"Well, it's a plan to get you three killed. Hope you live Cloud!" Lucario said. He then ran off back into the palace before E. Gadd ran towards Battlefield. Waluigi and Cloud ran towards Weegee, but Wario was stopped by Falco before he could follow.

"Hey, you remember that weapon that came with Weegee?" Falco asked as he picked the weapon back up.

"Yeah, that th- Wait, that's the Dinner Blaster!" Wario replied.

"The... Dinner Blaster?"

"Waa, only someone who watches good YTP's would understand, but I'll give you a quick run-down," Wario said.

~Battle! Deoxys stops as Destiny, Help Us from Fire Emblem Fates starts~

"The Dinner Blaster is a grand weapon of sheer power developed by King Harkinian of Hyrule, with most of its power being blessed onto it by the Triforce Of Courage. Made with the sole purpose to be the one weapon t-"

~Destiny, Help Us stops~

Suddenly, one of Weegee's less powerful lasers hit Wario, causing him to catch on fire. He ran around, flailing his arms for a bit before he grabbed the almighty Dinner Blaster from Falco's hands and rushed over to the tower.

~Boss Battle from Learn With Pokémon: Typing Adventure starts to play~

Weegee was now on the ground at the tower's base, firing lasers at anyone who tired to get close. However, he did not notice Waluigi quickly approaching him, tennis racket in hand, until it was nearly too late... yet he still managed to teleport in time, leaving Waluigi wondering where the meme went. He reappeared right behind the purple pest, ready to fire yet another eye laser, but Cloud intervened, launching a Blade Beam that struck Weegee, sending him flying and giving Waluigi another chance to attack. This time, Waluigi jumped into the air and pulled out a Bob-omb before he smashed the bomb with his racket, sending it towards Weegee. However, Weegee dodged yet again by teleporting. Instead of attempting to attack the purple ding-dong again, he instead appeared on the palace's roof, attempting to attack the Smashers while they tried to get up to him again. While he started his laser assault, Falco ran right up behind him and grabbed his overalls before turning the meme around and delivering a flurry of speedy punches, finishing with an uppercut that sent Weegee hurdling over towards the gate of the Smash Grounds, where Wario was waiting for him.

"All right... just one shot..." Wario muttered, aiming the Dinner Blaster right for the incoming Weegee. Alas, Weegee managed to teleport before Wario could do anything, making the yellow dunce growl in anger. Just as he was about to walk away, Weegee reappeared right behind him.

"You know, if it weren't for all these morons trying to beat the shit out of me, I'd be willing to get in a one-on-one fight with you," Weegee stated, with Wario turning around in response.

"Why's that, punk?"

"You should know why. I hate you. And I would be able to tell just how weak you truly are when it would be a fight between just us."

"Oh, so you think I'm weak?! That I can't beat you?!"

"Hmph. We'll continue this topic another time. For now, you can try and stop me from trashing this place. After all, I'm sure you don't want that on top of your stolen flash drive, right?" Weegee then teleported away, allowing Wario to wander back to the palace.


~Boss Battle stops playing~

Falco, Lucario, and E. Gadd were in the palace's basement looking at the small amount of items they had gathered: a Super Mushroom, a Fire Flower, Dark Pit's staff, a loaf of bread, and a book of bad puns written by Sans the Skeleton.

"This is all we can find... yep, we're dead," Lucario complained. "I'll go see if I can get a burial ready for me and Elvin."

"And who bothered to bring the bread? Or this book?" E. Gadd asked.

"Ask the dodo brain over here. He's obsessed with the former, and... well, he's just dumb," Lucario replied, pointing to Falco... which technically was him just holding his hand out at the space bird, but you get the idea.

"Hey! The bread could easily take care of that Weegee guy!" Falco argued. "And puns could serve as the perfect distraction!"

"Bread. Defeating a demon. How is that supposed to work?" E. Gadd inquired. "Although I can't help but agree on the puns. Bad puns draw everyone's attention. And they can decimate the minds of certain people..."

"Maybe when a huge battle isn't going on, then it could work, but now... c'mon Elvin, you should know better," Lucario groaned. As soon as Lucario finished, a part of the floor above them broke thanks to Wario and Ness falling through. Weegee quickly teleported in moments later, shaking his head.

"I'm afraid you're going to have to try a lot harder than that, idiot," Weegee commented, staring at the exhausted Wario.

"Hey, Weegee!" Falco said, looking into the bad pun book. "What do you call an idiotic man who deals with toilets?!"

"Wait, what?" Weegee said, raising an eyebrow while turning his head.

"A dumb-er! You know, just like you!"

... Weegee's answer to that after a few seconds of staring at Falco was a punch to the space pilot's face. The book flew out of Falco's hands due to the force and quickly slammed into the once again standing Ness, sending him back down. As soon as Ness fell down on the floor, Sans himself teleported right next to the PSI boy.

"Hmm. Seems very chaotic around here. I guess you could say there's nothing but... mad-NESS!" Sans joked, which caused Ness to scream like a baby.

"You idiots still don't treat me as a real threat, do you?" Weegee asked. "Despite all the chaos I have already started... actually, this is good. After all, I can put less work into taking this place six feet under the ground."

"Look, those three idiots may have ticked you off, but does everyone else here really have to suffer?" Lucario asked.

"Well, I want some form of revenge before I reunite with my brother. And as much as I would love to take their lives away, revenge is sweeter when it's served slowly and painfully. Thus, I'm taking things step by step, with the first step being leaving those weak-minded fools homeless. And since all you morons live here too... you know, you're just going to have to suffer with them."

"Waa! What did you do to Wario?!" Waluigi screamed as he broke the basement door down.

"I just kicked his ass a bit. He's probably just unconscious or something," Weegee answered calmly. Wario was slowly crawling back onto his feet just as Weegee stated his answer, but Waluigi didn't care. This had to end then and there. Thus, Waluigi leaped down from the top of the stairs and started charging towards the evil meme. However, Waluigi wasn't anticipating Weegee's right hand to disconnect with his arm and stop Wario's brother in his tracks by choking him.

... At the sight of Waluigi's suffer, Wario's rage grew to an enormous size as fast as the blink of an eye.

~Meta Crystal from Super Smash Bros. starts to play~

"Look, now you just gave me the chance to kill you," Weegee said as a faint, yellow aura surrounded Wario, though only Falco, Lucario, and Gadd took notice. "I had no intentions of killing you... but now that I can-"

Suddenly, Wario bashed into Weegee with his shoulder, letting Waluigi free of the meme's grasp. Wario pushed Weegee right into the wall before quickly grabbing him and tossing him through the floor above and jumping back up to deliver more pain. Falco rushed over to the barley standing Waluigi while E. Gadd gathered all of the items on the table.

~Meta Crystal stops~

"Before... before somebody asks... I'm fine, I just need... some air... waa..." Waluigi gasped. He took in a deep breath so deep that it started sucking out all of the oxygen of the basement.

"AGH! CAN'T... BREATHE!" Lucario moaned before punching Waluigi right in the gut. The punch forced Waluigi to spit out most of the air and fly around the basement.


~Meta Crystal starts again~

Weegee was sent flying through the Smasher's Palace, breaking through any walls in his way until he crashed on the ground outside. Quickly getting onto his feet, the meme got ready for Wario's next attack, turning around whilst charging up an eye laser.

"Come on, idiot. You know you can't outwit me... or overpower me... especially not now."

~Meta Crystal stops~

Soon enough, Wario jumped right out of the same hole Weegee made when he was flung out of the palace, charging shoulder-first right at the meme.

Weegee was all too aware of that fact and turned around.

And then he fired the laser, hitting Wario perfectly and even burning up a bit of the palace in the process.

Most of the other palace residents rushed towards the action and saw what was happening.


The laser eventually died down as Weegee instantly shut his eyes afterwards and started laughing.

"Ahahaha! Now I think I'm satisfied! Every moron around here can cry for that dead maniac and I can finally reunite with Malleo!" Weegee laughed, crossing his arms.

"Uh... you sure about that?" Mega Man asked.

"Sure about what? Everything I just said?" Weegee replied, still chuckling slightly.

"... Yeah actually. You might want to take a look for yourself."

And so the meme did. And he was not pleased with what he saw.


~VS Rayquaza from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red/ Blue Rescue Team starts to play~

Wario was still standing, with nothing but soot covering him. Not even a single scratch could be found anywhere on his body. The fat plumber shook off all the soot before making eye contact with the evil meme, a smile forming on his face.

"WAA! I haven't felt this determined or immortal in at least a few years! I think the last time was back during that whole Shake Dimension nonsense! Or was it back when I fought that Rudy wacko? Oh well, who cares?!" Wario exclaimed, followed by a hearty laugh.

"No... this... I thought these were myths, but... deus ex machinias! They're real!" Weegee screamed.

"Yeah yeah whatever. Hey, if you wanna back down right now... I just might. I'm in a good mood all of a sudden, so I might as well give you a chance to surrender," Wario stated.

"No! I can still take you down! You can only take so much damage, and I can take everything you got!" Weegee growled.

"Waa... can't make it easy can ya... well then... let's-a go, you stupid even if funny meme!"

~VS Rayquaza stops as Battlefield from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts~

Weegee dashed towards Wario, but before the meme could do anything, Wario managed to land a hard-hitting uppercut onto him, sending Weegee up into the air. Still determined to target Wario over all else, Weegee tried to control his upward movement and launch one of his hands downwards, but Waluigi broke through one of the palace's windows and did his infamous air swim over towards Weegee before smashing the meme right in the face with his handy-dandy tennis racket and sending him right back down to the ground. The meme slowly got up onto his feet and stared right at Wario, charging up another laser beam. Unfortunately for him, Captain Falcon struck the meme with a Falcon Kick, sending him flying yet again, this time flying towards the rest of the Smashers currently at the palace.

"Din's Fire!" Zelda shouted, unleashing her attack.

"Crash Bomber!" Mega Man yelled, firing the special bomb at Weegee.

"Gordo Toss!" King Dedede screamed, sending a Gordo forward.

"Idon'tknowwhyeverybody'sshoutingoutattacknamesbut GRENADE!" Snake roared, tossing a single grenade. All attacks managed to hit Weegee, causing a massive explosion that sent the stiff meme flying the other way. Wario pulled the Dinner Blaster out as fast as sound itself and pulled the trigger, launching a hot plate covered with lotsa spaghetti. Through sheer, dumb luck, the attack managed to land, resulting in a big spaghetti explosion that sent Weegee flying over and far away from the palace, all the way out to the sea to the south.

~Battlefield stops as Classic: Results from Super Smash Bros. For 3DS/ Wii U starts~

"WAA-HA-HA! We did it! We defeated Weegee and saved the world!" Wario screamed with joy before he proceeded to jump up and down, with Waluigi and Falco following suit not long after.

"The world's far from saved, you morons!" Lucario complained. "That meme thing's probably still alive and still has the flash drive!"

"Bah, whatever you say, flea bag," Waluigi replied. Lucario groaned before he looked at who was right behind the trio, smiling in response.

"What... What am I SEEING?!" a certain voice demanded to know.

~Classic: Results stops with a record scratch~

Master Hand floated over the troublesome trio and took a good look around. The grounds had spaghetti all over, the palace was damaged quite a bit, Battlefield was nothing but ashes, Sonic was in a wheelchair, Ness was chasing Sans, and Conker the squirrel was burning to death.

"WARIO! WALUIGI!" Master Hand screamed, turning back towards them.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" the Wario Bros. and Falco yelled as Master Hand was about to grab them.


~Dark Cave from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

Weegee kept flying over then seemingly endless ocean, surprisingly asleep, until he crashed right into an abandoned castle sitting on a large, isolated island. As soon as he hit the floor, the meme woke up and jumped onto his feet.

"Hmm... an empty castle? How did I... oh yeah, that Wario idiot. That piece of shit," Weegee groaned. "Screw it. Screw Wario. Screw that Waluigi guy. And screw that brainless bird. I have this whole castle, a powerful flash drive, and all of my powers. Instead of bringing myself to Malleo... I think I'll bring him here, along with everything else I own... but I need a computer..." Weegee looked around for a bit and found a complete computer set that was even plugged into the castle walls and was turned on... for some damn reason. However, Weegee didn't care and grinned, even though it was impossible to tell since his mustache was hiding his mouth, and walked over towards the computer with the flash drive in his right hand.

Chapter Text

Episode 2: WAA-Conda

NOVEMBER 11th, 2016

Somehow, the Smasher's Palace had most of the damage the infamous Weegee caused yesterday completely fixed, and even the burnt down Battlefield stage was replaced. Despite this, Master Hand and some of the other palace inhabitants were still mad with the Wario Bros. and Falco about the whole chaotic ordeal. Speaking of the trouble-making trio, they were in the palace's cafeteria, eating some breakfast made by the godly Chef Kawasaki.

"Waa! I still can't believe that E. Gadd dork is forcing us to find that stupid flash drive thing of his!" Wario complained before stuffing his mouth full of cookies.

"C'mon Wario, you know that it was all our fault. Besides, if Gadd can't find a signal, it means the drive is toast, and if he finds out that the drive is toast, we won't have to even bother looking for it!" Falco argued.

"Elvin said that if he couldn't locate the drive, it's either because it's ruined OR because it just hasn't been used since you absolute morons messed with it," Lucario said as he walked over towards the trio's table. "So even if he can't get a recent signal, you three are still going to have to hunt for it." The Pokémon then walked away, leaving the trio to continue their discussion in piece.

"Wait, did he mention hunting? In that case..." Wario muttered. Digging into his right pocket, he yanked out the almighty Dinner Blaster. "I'mma gonna have fun with this search! And he didn't even specify what kind of hunting! Hunting animals! Treasure hunting! The possibilities are endless!"

"They should go hunt for my sanity," Lucario muttered within his mind.

"Whatever happens during the search doesn't matter right now. We should actually be using what little free time Master Hand gave us to have some fun," Waluigi stated, getting up and off the chair. "C'mon you two, let's go mess around on the Internet or something."

"I think I'll hang back and enjoy this..." Falco started, staring at the loaf of bread sitting in front of him. "... beyond lovely piece of bread!"

"Whatever floats your boat then, bud," Wario replied as the Wario Bros. began walking towards the cafeteria's exit.

... And as soon as the brothers left, the Kapp'n drove his boat into the cafeteria while firing the Steel Diver weapon at everyone.


~Main Menu from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

Wario swung the door to his room open before running right in and taking a seat in the computer chair. Waluigi ran in as well, but not without shutting the door as soon as he stepped in. Immediately turning on the computer and heading onto YouTube, the two thought about what exactly they should watch.

"Let's check the recommendations... there's some dumb theory video about Ness being that skeleton guy from yesterday, that GoAnimate video about that Caillou brat... waa, this site's suggesting only garbage or stuff we've already seen before to us!" Waluigi complained.

"Yeah, none of these new things look any good!" Wario added, folding his arms.

"Hmm... waa? What's that video with the girl in the thumbnail?" Waluigi wondered.

"Huh? You mean that... Anaconda one? What kind of video had that for a name?"

"I dunno, let's check it out."


~Main Menu stops~

Crazy Hand was floating through the second floor of the palace, humming the Flintstones theme as he did so. As he drew closer to the Wario Bros.'s room, Falco and the Duck Hunt Dog tapped on the insane hand from behind.

"Oh, hiya hiya hiya Falco and Duck Hunt Dog!" the hand greeted. "Looking for Wario and Waluigi?"

"Uh, yeah, actually. They said they were heading to their room the last time I saw them," Falco answered. "Were you looking for them too?"

"Yep! I wanted to ask them if they'd join my "unban the nuclear pickles" campaign!"

"The what cam- er, whatever, let's just check on them," Duck Hunt Dog sighed. The gang then moved on over towards the shut door, stopping for Falco to knock on the door. The door opened by itself, revealing that both of the brothers' faces were frozen in shock.

"Wario?! Waluigi?! ARE YOU OKAY?!" Crazy asked in fear.

"Quick, punch them!" Falco ordered, smacking the yellow plumber right on his cheek, bringing him back to his senses.

"Hey, what was that for?!" Wario shouted.

"What happened to you guys?! Did you eat too many prunes again?" Crazy spazzingly asked.

"Waa, I wish that was what happened," Wario replied. "We watched this one music video on YouTube, and... bleh! It's idiotic! It's gross! It's sexual and would appeal to Snake! And... actually... now that I think about it..."

~Stonecarving City from the same game starts to play~

"... that song's perfect for parodying! Waa-haa-haa! We could make something funny out of this!"

"Sounds like someone's late on the "poking fun at Anaconda" bandwagon," a Motobug that was passing by the room mentioned. The gang turned and looked at the robotic ladybug with bewildered faces before turning their attention back to themselves.

"And you all know what the best part about all of this is? We could make money off of this!" the yellow plumber continued.

"People can make money off of parodies?" Duck Hunt asked.

"There ain't no law in this world that says otherwise, so we can pull it off! And even if there were, I don't care!" Wario stated. "Now, who's in?!"

"I am!" Falco responded.

"Meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" Crazy squealed.

"Well... any kind of purpose at this point is good enough for me, even if it means dismantling my reputation, so I'm in I guess," Duck Hunt Dog answered.

"Great! Now we just need a camera to film this video with and a few other things and we can get a move on with our plan! Let's get moving!" Wario ordered. The three morons ran out of the room, leaving a still frozen Waluigi by himself. Wario rushed back in, grabbed his lanky bro by the legs, and ran back out.


~Stonecarving City stops as Come With Me 2 from Pokémon: Heart Gold/ Soul Silver starts~

Wario ran throughout the halls, looking for a camera to record the video. He broke into Link and Zelda's room, finding one on top of his drawer. The yellow dunce grabbed it and looked at the recorded video, which was of Snake shaking his ass. Wario shook his ass alongside the recording as he wandered his way out.


Falco sneaked into Pit and Dark Pit's room for pencils. Instead, he found Dark Pit's staff. Being completely idiotic, he picked it up and fired it, destroying the window of the room. Deciding it was worth keeping, he ran out the room, completely forgetting the pencils.


Crazy Hand was searching for lots of paper. He eventually found a huge hoard of it in Robin's room. However, upon touching the first sheet, he got a paper cut, causing him to fly all around the room in pain, wrecking the walls and knocking things over.


Wario was in Peach and Rosalina's room, looking for a few sets of bras and panties. He found plenty, but he found one bra in particular to be very strange: an Abra bra was what kind of bra it was. It was so confusing that Wario's head exploded. Despite his head going boom, Wario managed to get enough bras and panties before he wandered on out.


~Come With Me 2 stops playing~

The four idiots and the one smart dog were gathered around a round table in the basement of the palace. Everything they had gotten was on the table: Snake's camera, Dark Pit's staff, a pile of paper, a miniature house made out of pencils, the panties and bras, the Dinner Blaster, lotsa spaghetti, Crazy Hand's nail polish, DK's Coconut Gun, Peach's diary, and a floating shopping list. Wario's head had even regenerated and looked perfectly normal and perfect because it's Wario's head.

"Good job, fellas! We got everything we need!" Wario stated.

"So, we can start recording, right?" Duck Hunt Dog asked.

"Waa... not entirely. Crazy's itching to get started on the advertising, and we need him for the one scene with the robo cops," Waluigi answered, tugging on his mustache. "In other news, I managed to get these three to lend us a hand."

"I'm only in this for the money," Toad said as he, Tingle, and Chef Kawasaki stepped out from the shadows of the basement.

"I'm in this for the sake of variety!" Tingle shouted.

"I want the world to burn slowly and painfully," Kawasaki said, resulting in everybody giving him disturbed looks.

"G-g-great!" Wario cheered awkwardly. "Crazy, you can get to work on advertising while we start shooting."

"What are you guys shooting, turkey?" Crazy questioned.

"Well, that and the music video," Waluigi responded.

"Ooooooh... uh, I'll just, um, get onto the advertisements then," Crazy awkwardly said before grabbing the pencils and paper and floating out of the basement.

"Say, don't we still need to get a few vids of some of our matches?" Duck Hunt wondered.

"We'll get Master Hand to give that stuff to us soon enough," Wario said.


Crazy Hand was in his room, sitting... er, floating, by a table, pencil in hand, ready to start writing up an advertisement. Slowly lowering himself towards the paper, sweat fell from him, until the pencil made contact with the paper... and immediately snapped in half.

"Ah! Shuckie darn it all!" Crazy screamed as he threw the only half of the pencil he had at the wall. "I can't work with these small pencils! Ugh... how'd I pull this off last time... of course, the one time I want to remember that, I can't..." Thinking hard about it, even more sweat started to fall from him and towards the table and floor, until he found had a realization. "Aha! First, why am I sweating when I'm a glove-hand-deity thing? And second, it may or may not be the way I pulled it off, but it'll work!

One 1966 Batman-Styled Scene Transition Later...

Now Snake was sitting at the same table, with Crazy Hand right behind him. With pencil and seven rings in hand, Snake was leaning down towards the paper, ready to write.

"Alright, now tell me what you want me to write down," the soldier said.

"Gotcha... please write "Tonite, 9 O click, on YuNaruTube, Wario and palz present teh funniezt ting in existence! Shoe uup, or Fredee Fizbar will Finland u!"

"I need something that doesn't intentionally butcher the English language, please. And no, I don't want it in any other language. This place is Americentric."

"No it isn't," Crazy pointed out... while pointing at Snake. "That may be the norm in places that are quite a bit like this place, but that ain't the norm here. Even if this world clearly has similarities to America... whatever America even is!"

"Whatever. All of us speak English, so something in English, please."

"Ugh, fine..."


Wario and the rest of the squad were on a hill a decent ways away from the palace, gathered around the Wario Car. The Wario Bros. were putting their regular clothes back on while everyone else, aside from Falco and Tingle, looked away.

"That wraps up the filming!" Wario acknowledged as the two idiots finished putting their clothes on by putting their iconic hats on their heads. "Aside from the shootout, that is."

"I hope that Crazy's finished with the ads," Waluigi said.

"I'm more concerned about the ad's quality than how much of it is done," Duck Hunt Dog stated.

"And I'm more concerned about the Tingle behind Tingle," Toad said, pointing to a red-eyed Tingle that was standing behind the normal Tingle.

~Scarescraper - Ghost Theme from Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon starts to play~

Eveyone turned to see the demonic beast, yet no one besides DHD were concerned much.

"Hello there... IMPOSTOR!" the demon Tingle screamed.

"And a Kooloo-Limpah to you too, fellow handsome fairy!" Tingle greeted his psycho impostor.

"What? Are you not afraid?"

"No. Why should I be?"


"Murder, huh? Can I join in?" Chef Kawasaki asked. "I have the most beautiful plan. We can slice him up while he's still alive, roast him over a roaring fi-"

~Scarescraper - Ghost Theme stops~

... And that's when Duck Hunt pulled his NES Zapper and shot the evil Tingle, mortally wounding him.

"Cursed mutt! I'll... have... my... REVENGE!" the evil Tingle screamed before dying.

"... Well, that was pointless, just like Mario, Luigi, and that stupid Lucario," Waluigi said.

"Let's just head back before anymore weird stuff happens," Duck Hunt Dog suggested, leaping into the Wario Car.


~Foulwater Falls from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

Crazy was floating around the palace's lobby, pinching the paper Snake had written on earlier in between his index finger and thumb. Wondering what to do, the hand floated in circles until the rest of the crew opened the front doors of the palace.

"Waa! The filming's mostly done!" Waluigi remarked.

"And I'm done making the ad!" Crazy added, placing the paper on the closest table. Wario and Waluigi took a look at it before the yellow moron picked it up and read it aloud.

"Hey there, hip young kiddos! You looking for something to watch tonight? Then tune in on YouTube tonight at nine and watch the hippest, most radical music video you'll ever see! Don't be a square and tune in!"

"I find it fitting that you weirdos are using outdated words for an ad about a parody of an outdated song," the same Motobug from before stated, even though everyone ignored it.

"Great! Short, sweet, and to the point while still throwing in that classic slang!" Wario praised.

"Yeah, but there's one issue with this ad," Waluigi said, grabbing the paper.

"Like what? What's wrong?" Crazy inquired.

"You see the part where you credited those that are gonna cameo in this thing?" the lanky weirdo replied, pointing the bottom-right corner of the paper, where pictures of certain fellow Smasher's Palace residents were located. "Well, take a look at Sonic here."

"And the problem with Sonic is..." Duck Hunt muttered.

"It's that he needs a different picture," Waluigi said as he place the paper down onto the table. He then pulled out another piece of paper, a pair of scissors, and a bottle of glue and cut the paper before gluing it over Sonic's picture.

"Wait... is that a picture of Sonic when he was younger?" Toad wondered, noticing that the glued on picture was of Classic Sonic.

"Yep! Everyone knows that we gotta plaster the younger, more classy Sonic onto everything or else no one will care about anything involving that blue weirdo," Waluigi answered.

"So, now what do we do?" Falco quizzed the rest of the squad.

"We still gotta film the robo cop bit and go shooting for more turkeys! I say we shoot the turkeys first!" Wario suggested.

"Alright, but nobody aim for any Cuccos this time!" Waluigi ordered. "I don't want my butt handed to me by a bunch of birds... for the third time today." The group of four left the place, off to grab their weapons.

~Foulwater Falls stops~

Two Pointless Hours Of Hunting Later...

~Encounter from Metal Gear Solid starts to play~

The gang were right outside the Smash Grounds, standing behind some bushes. In front of the ground's gate was a small army of robotic police. Waluigi had the camera set up while Wario, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt, and Toad were preparing for the final scene to be recorded. And behind them was a burning pile of mostly destroyed robo cops, with only a few still dying in agony to the joy of Kawasaki.

"Remember, we can't mess up this time. These are the last robots we have. Screw up now and we'll have to find another way to do this scene," Duck Hunt Dog reminded everyone.

"Waa! I'm ready to start when you guys are!" Waluigi told the quartet. Each of them nodded before Wario, Duck Hunt, and Toad pulled out their weapons: for Wario, the Dinner Blaster, for DHD, the NES Zapper, and for Toad, Dark Pit's staff.

"Ready for action!" Wario shouted.

"Then let's go already!" Waluigi shouted back.

~Encounter stops playing as Duel from the same game starts~

The lanky plumber then started filming as the quartet jumped out of the bushes and ran for the robots. The robots themselves stood in place and started firing corks from their guns. Duck Hunt and Crazy stopped and started shooting back while Wario and Toad dived behind a log before they joined in the fun. While the robots started to fall quickly, the four managed to keep standing. One of the robots however decided to take a new approach. Tossing its gun aside, it jumped high into the air and whipped out a wooden nightstick. Toad noticed that the cop was aiming for him. Waiting for just the perfect moment, the living mushroom readied his feet. As soon as the cop drew near, Toad flipped backwards, dodging the attack with relative ease. In response, Toad fired a single shot from the staff at the robot's head, completely obliterating it.

~Duel stops~

Once the robot fell to the ground, Toad noticed that the rest of the robot army had been eliminated. The quartet walked back over towards the rest of the gang, sweating from the action.

"How did we manage to screw up something so simple three times in a row?" DHD thought out loud.

"It's Wario's fault! He's the one who blew them all up in one hit the first time, attacked the Cuccos the second, and-" Toad yelled.

"You were the one who attacked those dumb birds, loser! Don't pin the blame on me!" Wario argued.

"Guys, just calm down, please. We shall settle this over a loaf of bread!" Falco said, holding a loaf with angelic wings attached to it.

"Either way, we have all the filming and shooting done! Now all we need are those match videos and we can finally put it all together aga- er, yeah! WOOHOO!" Crazy screamed with delight.

"Waa, that's right! And we still have some time until we have to upload this thing!" Waluigi noted. "Now c'mon, we gotta get those vids!"


The entire gang were inside the Wario Bros.'s room once again, with Toad putting the video together while everyone else chatted among each other.

"Waa, I can't believe how stingy your brother was with those videos, Crazy!" Wario commented.

"Yeah, and to think without you, we probably wouldn't have gotten them!" Waluigi added.

"And there we go! The video's put together!" Toad said with pride. "And with only five minutes to spare!"

"Oh yeah, that's- wait, five minutes?! We still haven't gotten the ads handed out yet!" Wario shrieked.

"Leave it to us!" Falco said, he and Crazy Hand rushing out of the room with copies of the original ad. Just as they ran out, Alfonzo poked his head through the door and, despite his smile, started to cry.

~Piranha Plant Slide (Final Lap) from Mario Kart 8 starts to play~

The two ran down the hall, quickly slipping the ads underneath all the doors. As soon as all the rooms had ads, the duo rushed down the stairs and towards the cafeteria, where nearly everyone else was at. Crazy flew ahead at full speed, nearly knocking down Luigi and Ike while doing so. The giant hand then started folding the ads into paper airplanes and started throwing them all over, one of which landed right in Sonic's eye, causing the hedgehog to scream. Feeling satisfied, Crazy and Falco rushed right back out of the cafe before running back upstairs to Master Hand's office. Crazy barged right in before slamming an ad right onto Master Hand's desk before rushing back out. As soon as the two were out of sight, Master Hand entered the room, finding the ad right away.

"Oh... that's what they wanted the videos for..." the giant hand groaned.

Meanwhile, the two were running back up the stairs, heading to all the other floors to deliver more ads, even though pretty much everyone had one at that point. Soon enough, the duo made it to the palace's roof, where a cannon was strangely placed... which also gave Falco an idea.

"Hey Crazy, hand me the rest of the papers!" the bird brain commanded. Crazy obliged, giving Falco every single last ad left. Falco then swiftly stuffed the cannon with all the ads and lit it before the two ran as far away from the cannon as possible. The weapon made an loud bang before it shot all of the ads across the vicinity, one of which managed to land in the Warp Pipe entrance to E. Gadd's laboratory of the Smash World, and plenty more even managed to reach the bustling city of Smashtopolis. As soon as the last ad left their sight, the insane duo ran back inside and into Wario's room as fast as they could.

~Piranha Plant Slide (Final Lap) stops~

"All done, and I only got seventy paper cuts from it!" Crazy squealed, showing off hit cut-up hand... body... whatever.

"We're done too! The video's up on YouTube!" Waluigi commented.

"Ooh! Let's watch it, let's watch it!" the giant hand ecstatically said.

"That's just what we were about to do!" Wario stated, clicking on the video.

... But before the video could start, a fifteen second, unskippable ad for Captain Falcon's new drink, Falcon Punch had to play before hand.

"Waa, stupid ad," Wario complained. "Wasting our time..." And that's when the ad finally ended.

... Only for another unskippable ad, this time one that would play for five minutes, and for Waluigi's Taco Stand, started to play.

"MY OWN AD! WASTING MY OWN TIME! I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS!" Waluigi shouted. Falco already started to doze off, while nearly everyone but the Wario Bros. and Crazy were nearing that point by the time the ad started to end.

... And then a thirty minute ad for Weegee's Even Better Taco Stand started, but everyone was already fast asleep aside from Crazy by this point.

... And then that ad finally ended as the video finally began to play. Crazy woke everybody up as fast as he could, and just barely managed to get them up in time to see the name of the song appear on the screen: WAA-Conda

~An instrumental version of Anaconda starts to play~

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun!" the infamous Microsoft Sam sang as Wario was break dancing while Waluigi has doing acrobats in the video.

"... What in the world..." Zelda muttered as she watched the video in her room.

"Boy toy named Roy used to live in Dededetroit!" A picture of Roy Koopa showed up on the video.

"Hey, that's me!" Roy shouted, pointing at his computer screen.

"Should be me," the other, worse Roy from Fire Emblem complained.

"Big dong dealer money, he was getting some rupees!" Now, the video was showing Wario, who was beginning to strip.

"MY EYES! MY EYES!" Fred the fish screamed as he watched the video from his house in Bikini Bottom.

"Was in shootouts with the law, but he live in a Smasher's Palace!" The video showed Wario and Toad behind the log, shooting at the robotic police.


"Sir, enjoy the video!" Waluigi shouted as he broke into the room before he shot the angel with the staff.

"Bought me Alexander McQueen, he was keeping me top tierish," Wario, now in only a bra and panties, was break dancing again.

"Tiers don't exist!" Jigglypuff complained, ready to smash her computer.

"Be quiet, low tier," Pikachu replied.

"Now that's bread, bread, bread! Gun in my butt, I came dressed to fart!" Wario was now on the Onett stage, releasing a Wario Waft attack on Snake and Sonic.

"Oh... that sure was a fun time," Sonic sarcastically commented.

"Who wanna go first? I had them losing stocks!" Falco was now firing his lasers at Pikachu on the Great Cave Offensive stage.

"I'm high as hell, Waluigi ate Mr. Krabs' pill," Wario was on Skyworld, chomping on Villager on one half of the screen, while Waluigi was eating a massive pill on the other.

"... That still terrifies me," Villager commented.

"I'm hating on Dark Pit," Wario and Falco were now attacking the edgy angel on Green Hill Zone.

"Waa, good thing I knocked him out," Waluigi stated, folding his arms.

"By the way, what he say? He can tell I ain't missing no meals!" Wario was now in the panties again, twerking.


"Come through and eat 'em in my automobile," Wario and Waluigi, both in panties, were eating Maxim Tomatoes in the Wario Mobile.

"... I never thought I'd see so much of Waluigi's skin," Lucina remarked as a bit of blood dripped from her nose.

"Falco be eatin' it, all of Dr. Mario's pill, with no fever or chill!" Falco, also in panties, was eating a pill.

"I think I understand why those morons were stupid enough to make this thing now... they took too many of my pills," Dr. Mario remarked.

"He keep telling me it's real, that he love my WAA appeal," Wario and Waluigi were break dancing again.

"Because he don't like 'em Dry Boney, he want something he can grab!" Mario was seen jumping on some Dry Bones.

"That's offensive!" Bowser roared.

"Enjoy the video!" Waluigi shouted once again, barging into Bowser and his son's room and firing the staff again.

"So I pulled up in the WAA, and I hit 'em with the jab like... WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA!"

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti!" Tingle was now eating lotsa spaghetti.

"This dude named Wario likes to ride motorcycles. Pingas bigger than a tower, I ain't talking about Prism's!" Wario was riding his Wario Bike across the Prism Tower stage, running over Samus.

"... Then which tower are they talking abou- wait, why are they comparing towers to Wario's... GROSS!" Lucario thought.

"Real country donkey guy, let me play with his rifle. Weegee put his butt to sleep, now he calling me Cyndaquil," Wario was now petting a Cyndquil.

"At least that's cute and not nightmare fuel," Master Hand stated.

"Now that bread bread bread. I tell you hwut, Hank brought the Propane!" Tingle was now driving a Propane truck.

"... Where did they even manage to get half of this stuff from?" Shadow wondered.

"Who's Hank?" Pikachu asked.

"He toss my salad like his name Romaine, and I don't know anymore but Balmain!" Wario and Tingle were break dancing in panties.

"It's a good thing I'm used to seeing Tingle in panties," Toon Link muttered.

"I'm hating on Sonic," Now a clip of Wario attacking Sonic on Final Destination played.

"Great, and they had to throw that in too," Sonic complained.

"By the way, what he say? He can tell I ain't missing no meals! Come through and eat 'em in my automobile. Falco be eatin' it, all of Dr. Mario's pill, with no fever or chill! He keep telling me it's real, that he love my WAA appeal. Because he don't like 'em Dry Boney, he want something he can grab! So I pulled up in the WAA, Mayweather with the jab like... WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA-W-W-WAA-WAA!"

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my gosh, look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti! Look at her spaghetti!"

"Little in the middle but she got much dinner! Little in the middle but she got much dinner! Little in the middle but she got much dinner! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti!" Wario and Toad were now eating as much food as they can.

"My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't... My Pingas don't want none unless you got dinner hun! (Don't don't don't) My Pingas don't... (Don't don't don't) Don't want none unless you got dinner hun!" Wario, Waluigi, Falco and Tingle were all breakdancing. "Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti! Oh my WAA, look at her spaghetti!" Toad was eating a whole Wario statue made of spaghetti.

"Finally the end is near," Olimar muttered.

"You do realize you can just stop watching this, right?" Alph asked.

"No," Fat Mario said, randomly appearing in Olimar and Alph's room just to kick Alph.

"Yeah, he love this fat dong! Yeah! This one is for my Smashers with a fat dong in the stinking club! I said, "Where my fat dong big Smashers in the club?" WAA those skinny Smashers," Wario was performing an air guitar solo.

"WAA those skinny Smashers in the club, I wanna see all the big dong Smashers in the motherstinking club, WAA you if you skinny Smashers. What? Waluigi time! Yeah. I got a big fat dong. Come on!"

~Anaconda stops~

"... That was still bad," Meta Knight stated, turning away from his and Lucario's computer. "But I'd take this odd parody over the original, considering the fact that it just tries to be stupid rather than be serious and... disturbingly sexual. Why must the youth be watching such... questionable music videos?"

"Can you really call this a parody though like those idiots are?" Lucario asked.

"A parody is a mimicry of something with deliberate exaggeration for comedic effect. That video was just that," Meta Knight answered.

"But it was terrible! It was dumb, it was overly sexual..."

"So was the original. This just took everything bad about the original and took it up to absurd levels." With that, Meta Knight warped out of the room the same way he always does, by surrounding himself with his cape.


"Waa! Would you look at all these likes?!" Wario cheered, staring right at the like bar on the YouTube video. "I to think we got this monetized!"

... And then it instantly got demonetized but they didn't notice. R.I.P. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy, and Toad's hopes and dreams, it would've been demonetized even if it met with YouTube's standards.

"And then we can buy all the nuclear pickles we can get our giant hands on!" Crazy commented, spazzing as usual.

"Or we can buy weapons of mass destruction and wipe out every single last creature in the multiverse," Chef Kawasaki suggested.

"Or we can get some more robo cops to shoot!" Waluigi brought up.

"Come to think of it... where the heck did you manage to get all of those robots in the first place?" Sans the skeleton, who showed up out of nowhere, wondered.

"Yeah... Waluigi, weren't you the one who got them? Where'd you find them?" Duck Hunt Dog asked. Waluigi just stared into space as everyone surrounded him... until a loud scream could be heard.

"WHERE IS MY ROBOT POLICE ARMY?!" E. Gadd screamed, all the way from his Smash World lab. Everything stayed silent for a few seconds afterwards...

... Until everyone in the room except for Kawasaki and Sans started screaming, knowing that Elvin would eventually figure out what happened and would demand for something in return. While they screamed, their video started to get disliked to all hell and back, and nearly everyone at the palace started screaming around the door, with Lucario banging his hand on it and nearly everyone else holding torches, pitchforks, and Cuccos.

Chapter Text

Episode 3: Shake And Vaike

NOVEMBER 12th, 2016

~Goodnight from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts to play~

It was four AM at the Smasher's Palace. Nearly everyone was asleep, with Master Hand being the exception. Even Wario and Waluigi were having sweet dreams. In fact, they were both sharing the same dream, which was... only them two hugging each other in an open, sunny field, loving each other as brothers.

~Goodnight stops~

But of course, the dream had to be interrupted by a bunch of sudden screaming, which woke nearly everyone in the palace up.

"WAA!" Wario screamed before he jumped out of bed and ran around the room in nothing but his underwear. Waluigi woke up just a few moments later and turned on the light.

"Wario, what's going on?!" Waluigi shouted.

"Either Weegee's back, or the apocalypse is starting!" Wario replied, screeching to a halt. "Or... or maybe it's just that Cool Ca-"

"WARIO!" Lucario yelled as he swung the door wide open, with Meta Knight, who was only wearing his mask, right behind him. "WHAT'S THE MEANING OF THIS?!"

"Waa, it's only natural to scream and run around when you're woken up by some screaming!" Wario said, grabbing his hat off of the floor and putting it on. It was only then that Lucario noticed the mysterious screaming.

"Well... I guess you have a point, for once," Lucario begrudgingly replied. "Hmm... sounds like it's coming from outside."

"Then let's get to the bottom of this," Meta Knight said before running down the hallway.

"Yeah, let's get to the bottom of this palace, with my bottom leading the way!" Wario said before thrusting his butt ahead like Peach would with her Peach Bomber move. Lucario sighed as he and Waluigi followed as fast as they could.


Master Hand and Crazy Hand raced towards the front doors. Master Hand really wanted to know just who was causing all of the ruckus, while Crazy was merely chasing his bro around just because he was bored. As soon as they got there, Waluigi, Lucario, and Meta Knight had already arrived, though Wario was missing.

"Any clue as to what's out there, Lucario?" Master Hand asked, slowing down while Crazy eventually crashed right into the doors, somehow not breaking them.

"Well, I can sense a huge group of... I believe humans, outside the gate. Two of them somehow managed to get past the gate and are standing right outside the door. None of them seem hostile, judging from their auras," Lucario answered.

"Hmm... well then, I guess we might as well meet them," Master Hand said. He was about to open the doors with a magical snap, but Wario finally arrived while still moving forward with his butt, crashing into the doors and knocking them down, revealing just who exactly was behind the doors...

~Agh! Won Goph In Mah Mouph! Blech! Ptooey! from Fire Emblem: Awakening starts to play~

... Which just so happened to be Lissa, Frederick, and Frederick's horse.

"What the? Lissa, Frederick, what are you two doing here?!" Chrom asked as he rushed over to the group, with Lucina, and Robin right behind him.

"We came to see you, silly!" Lissa chuckled.

"In the middle of the night?! Couldn't you losers have found a better time to show your stupid faces?!" Wario complained, getting up from his crash.

"I can't believe I'm actually agreeing with Wario, but... you two really should have found a better time for this!" Lucario replied.

"How'd you two manage to get through the gate?" Master Hand asked.

"Oh, that was easy! We found some empty armor suit sitting right next to the gate, climbed on top of it, climbed over the gate and... well, here we are!" Lissa stated.

"Why was there empty armor by the gates in the first place? No one around here even has that much armor!" Master Hand wondered. Robin quickly came to a conclusion and grimaced at what the "empty" armor really was.

"Don't tell me you guys climbed on top of Kellam?" she asked. Frederick blushed in embarrassment while Lissa merely chuckled.

"I, uh... guess we did," Frederick groaned, with his blush quickly fading away.

"Someone please heal me," Kellam begged all the way from outside the gates, in pain from Lissa, Frederick, and mostly Frederick's horse. However, the rest of the Shepherd's forgot he even existed, but at least Genji of all people came and hugged him.

"Heh, looks like even someone like old Freddy Bear makes some rather non-noble mistakes sometimes," Lissa giggled.

"Never call me that ever again, please," Frederick grumbled. "Frederick the Wary is bad enough, but that..."

"Wait... if Kellam's here... did ALL of the Shepherd's come here?!" Lucina asked.

"Aside from Owain, Severa, and Inigo, yep! Everyone showed up! We even invited a radical monkey!" Lissa answered as Funky Kong hugged Kallem too, before consoling Kallem with his soothing yet Funky voice. "I'd still like to know where Owain went though..."

"Why are all of you here in the first place?! Think about what could happen to Ylisstol with everyone gone!" Chrom mentioned.

"Well... you can thank Frederick for dragging us all here," Lissa answered.

"Frederick..." Chrom groaned.

"Milord, I-"

"Hey, what's going on down here?" Falco asked Wario and Waluigi as he, as well as Duck Hunt Dog and Snake showed up.

"Waa, some loser friends of Lucina and pals decided to show up," Waluigi stated.

"Fine..." Chrom sighed, having just had a minor argument with Frederick and Lissa. "As long as Master Hand agrees with it."

"Agrees with what?" Wario asked, joining back in on the original conversation.

"Having the Shepherd's spend a few hours here," Master Hand said. "And that I can definitely allow."


"Wario, calm down! Yes, they may have waken everyone up, but they still deserve a rest from their travels," Master Hand said.

~Agh! Won Goph In Mah Mouph! Blech! Ptooey! stops~

"Hey, does anyone else think that song name's a bit too long?" Crazy randomly asked.

"Crazy, what are yo-" Master Hand wondered before Wario interrupted him.

"They don't deserve a rest! Not for what they did!" Wario yelled, pulling out the Dinner Blaster from his underwear. He quickly fired a hot plate of spaghetti right at Frederick. Time itself seemed to have slowed down for everyone as it flew over towards the knight. Yet... Frederick didn't bother to move. It stayed perfectly still, as if he wanted the plate to hit him...

... which it did...

... only for it to bounce off of him and fly back, eventually hitting Snake's face, causing him to scream in pain.

"WHAT?! HOW, WHAT, WHY?!" Wario yelled, wondering just how Frederick took the attack so well and especially how it just bounced off of him.

"WARIO! What did I say about firing that thing in the palace?!" Master Hand roared.

"To fire it at strangers and strangers only, and these losers are strangers to me!" Wario retorted, putting the Dinner Blaster back into his underwear.

"Ugh... just don't do that again or else I'm taking that thing away," Master Hand sighed before heading out to the gates to let the rest of the Shepherds in. Wario and Waluigi stomped back towards their room, with Falco and Crazy Hand following them. Lucario, Meta Knight, and Duck Hunt Dog tried to help out Snake while Chrom, Robin, and Lucina started talking with Lissa and Frederick.


~Goomba Village from Paper Mario starts to play~

Two hours had passed since the Shepherds had wakened everyone. Now, nearly everybody was in the cafeteria, with the place being nearly filled thanks to the Shepherds. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, and King Dedede all sat at the same table, eating all they could.

"I can't believe Master Hand let those losers stay!" Wario complained while chewing on a cookie.

"I can't believe we're complaining about things at the cafeteria again," Waluigi remarked.

"I say we make Master Hand give us a life time of food for having to deal with these rude lunatics!" Dedede suggested, slamming his fists on the table.

"Waa, brilliant idea!" Wario said.

"Wario, Dedede, that's a little ridiculous, don't you guys think?" Falco replied.

"So is Master Hand letting those punks stay!" Wario argued.

"Those guys may have woken everybody up, but come on, it's not like they tried to. They just came over too early," Duck Hunt said.

"Waa... whatever. I'm still not happy about this."

"No one is," Waluigi muttered, looking around the cafeteria. Nearly immediately, he noticed one of the Shepherds sitting by themselves: it was none other than the axe-wielding fighter, Vaike. "Huh, looks like one of those weirdos is hangin' out by himself."

"What, where?" Falco asked.

"Over there," Waluigi said, turning around while pointing at Vaike. Falco got off of his seat to get a better look at the fighter.

"Uh... all I see is that skeleton guy running away from Ness," Falco said, paying attention to Ness chasing Sans in a circle.

"A little more to the left," Waluigi suggested.

"Oh, now I see him! Looks like a cool guy."

"Waa, let me take a look at him," Wario said, turning around.

"I'm gonna talk to him for a bit, mostly to ask if he too respects the grand food that is bread," Falco said before walking over to Vaike.

"What's that bird brain doing?! Befriending the enemy?!" Dedede growled.

"Hey, don't call Falco a bird brain, bird brain!" Crazy spazzingly replied.

"I'll call him whatever I want!" Dedede shouted back.

"Guys, cool it before Master Hand gets over here," Duck Hunt Dog warned. The two grumbled before turning away from each other. Falco walked back over, now with Vaike right behind him.

"Ugh, I'm out of here," Dedede groaned. He took in a huge breath of air and then jumped up and out of his seat, flying away from the table.

~Goomba Village stops as Here We Are! The Shepards' Garrison from Fire Emblem: Awakening starts~

"Guys, I want you meet Vaike," Falco said, introducing the fighter to the gang. "Vaike, this is Wario, Waluigi, Crazy Hand, and Duck Hunt Dog."

"Heya! You can call me Vaike, but you can also call me the Teach if you want!" Vaike proudly stated.

"Oooh! Do you happen to teach Spanish by any chance?" Crazy asked.

"Er... no. Not even entirely sure what Spanish is," Vaike answered.

"Well, I guess I'll just stick with calling ya Vaike then!"

"Uh... good plan!"

"Any particular reason why you brought him over here?" Waluigi wondered.

"He's actually a bit of an outcast, just like us!" Falco said.

"Eh... kinda. People like me, especially back home, but... I still kinda feel a little, you know, left out otherwise," Vaike stated.

"Huh? You really don't look like the kind of guy to just be unpopular period. You look like one of those tough, handsome guys people fawn over," Duck Hunt pointed out.

"Well, looks aren't everything. But hey, enough about this outcast talk! Falco here thinks we can get along, and I think we should try and, well, get along!"

"And how do you propose we do that?" Wario asked, tugging on his moustache.

"Well... uh, how about we have some fun by throwing some axes around?" Vaike suggested.

"Throwing axes? That... sounds a little fun," Wario said.

"Yeah, not a bad idea," Waluigi commented.

"Oh yay! I have a reason to call you Teach now! You can teach me how to throw axes!" Crazy squealed. "And then I can teach you about SpongeBob lore!

"Uh... I don't really want to throw axes, but hey, I can watch, right?" Duck Hunt Dog said.

"Sounds like a plan to me! Now let's head somewhere where we can have some fun!" Vaike ordered. Everyone jumped out of their seats and scarfed down any food they had left before following Falco and Vaike out of the cafeteria.


~Here We Are! The Shepards' Garrison stops as Random Dungeon Theme 2 from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts~

The gang was at the training ground outside the palace. Five wooden pegs stood out of the ground, with five red objects standing on top of them. Vaike, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy Hand each stood a decent ways away from one while holding a hand axe. Duck Hunt Dog was standing back to watch while munching on some popcorn.

"Alright, now just watch how the Teach does it!" Vaike yelled. He chucked his axe right at the red object he was facing, which just so happened to be an apple, slicing it in two.

"Oh-hoo-hoo, I'mm-a sure gonna have fun with this," Wario chuckled.

"WAA! I'm going first!" Waluigi yelled. He then started lifting his axe, but had difficults due to his weak muscles. While everyone else waited for Waluigi to throw, Falco noticed that the rest of the red objects were... off.

"Hey, uh, Vaike? Why do those apples look weird? They look... like they were painted red rather than being normally red. And why do they look like they have orange feet? And their stems looks like... string."

"Oh, I couldn't find anymore apples, so I had to, you know, improvise. So I found some black things with painted eyes in some shed and I painted the round part red," Vaike said.

"Uh-huh... what shed did you find these things from, exactly?" Falco asked.

~Random Dungeon 2 Theme stops~

"That one over there," Vaike said, turning and pointing towards a big shed. One that horrified Falco, for he saw what the sign that sat right in front of the shed said.


"WaaaaaAAAAAA!" Waluigi screamed, finally throwing his hand axe.

"RUN!" Falco shrieked. Everyone but Waluigi did just that, fleeing straight for the palace. As soon as the axe made contact with the Bob-omb, it obviously exploded, with the other three exploding shortly afterwards. Waluigi ran away as fast as he could and somehow managed to get away unharmed. The area by the Bomb-ombs started to burn, which caught Sonic's attention. Rushing at the speed of sound, Sonic gasped at all the damage.

... Unfortunately for him, Master Hand showed up at that point.

"SONIC! WHAT HAVE YOU DONE?!" the giant hand screamed, tackling the innocent hedgehog.


"I'm surprised we managed to get away with that explosion," Wario remarked. The entire gang was in Wario and Waluigi's room, watching some SpongeBob on the new HD TV.

"If Sonic didn't show up, I'm pretty sure we wouldn't have... even though we should have," Waluigi said. Just before anyone could argue with Waluigi, an ad started playing which stole everyone's attention.

"Do you like getting wet?" a near silent, edgy voice said, leaking from the TV.

"Sure do! I like getting wet with everybody!" Crazy replied.

"Do you like hard things? Hard things so hard that they won't ever break?"


~TV from Pokémon: Diamond/ Pearl starts to play~


~TV stops~

"WARIO! WE NEED TO BUY SOME OF THOSE! IT'LL BE SO MUCH FUN!" Crazy begged, spazzing even crazier than usual.

"Eh... you're lucky you're a friend, Crazy, or else I'd demand a lot in return. Sixty-nine bucks is a lot you know," Wario said, grabbing his cell phone.


~Lollipop Land 1 from Kirby: Triple Deluxe starts to play~

A single delivery truck was driving through the woods that led to the Smash Grounds. Driving it was a Delibird, with a Koopa Troopa sitting alongside her. Things were going just fine as the truck moved through the dirt path, had bugs land on the windshield, had its packages in the back flying all over the place, mowed down trees, dove into the water, and wake up a certain Snorlax before it somehow fell onto its side, skidding the rest of the way to the mansion. In fact, it just barely came to a halt, nearly breaking down the gates. Wario and the gang arrived just seconds after, broke into the back, took the water guns, handed the Delibird the cash, and ran back into the grounds... before the truck started floating up high into the sky for no reason.


~Lollipop Land 1 stops~

The gang was back out at the training area, which was mostly just a dirt field now thanks to the fire. A single long, white line divided the field in half, wooden obstacles that resembled the pixelated bushes, question mark blocks, Warp Pipes, and Goombas from the original Super Mario Bros. game were scattered across the field, and there were even two small fortresses, one on each side of the field.

"Waa! Now how are we going to chose teams?" Wario wondered, picking his nose.

"We still need to choose captains before we can do anything else," Duck Hunt Dog stated.

"Oh yeah! I call being a leader!" Wario yelled, pulling his finger out of his nose to wave his hand around.

"Oooh, I wanna be a leader too!" Crazy squealed.

"OK... who wants to go-" Duck Hunt started before Wario interrupted him.

"Waluigi's on my team!"

"Oh yeah! Waa haa!" Waluigi laughed, walking over by his brother.

"Falco! Come over here!" Crazy shouted.

"Hey, Vaike! You get your booty over here!"

"And... I guess I'm with Crazy and Falco then," Duck Hunt said, crawling over to the giant hand and space pilot.

"C'mon, we have to get on our side!" Vaike said, running over towards their side. Wario and Waluigi followed suite while the other three talked about their battle plan.

~To A Foreign Land from Fire Emblem Fates starts to play~

"Now Crazy, since you're probably going to be the one who can take the most, you should stay back by our fort and serve as our last defense. Falco and I will try to take their fort," Duck Hunt Dog stated. They all agreed to the idea and quickly spread themselves out.

"Ready when you are!" Crazy screamed, spazzing out a little.

"Waa! We're nearly ready!" Wario replied. He was busy digging through a big chest, filled nearly to the brim with swords, lances, axes, magic tomes, and even other useful things... but instead of getting one of those out, he just grabbed a single clove of garlic out of the chest and swiftly ate it. "OK, now we're ready!"

~To A Foreign Land stops as Funky Area from Kirby's Return To Dreamland starts~

Wario, Vaike, Falco, and Duck Hunt charged for the white line dividing the field. As soon as all four drew near, they started rapidly firing their water guns, sending water all over. Somehow, they all kept managing to dodge all of the water. However, Vaike grew tired very quickly and ran back before diving behind a wooden Warp Pipe. Of course, this allowed Falco and Duck Hunt Dog to gang up on Wario, which resulted in him getting drenched.

"One's nearly down!" Falco enthusiastically yelled. However, Wario was far from down and out. Deciding to stand strong, Wario took a few more shots before preparing to fire one himself. The blast hit Falco right into the face, causing him to fall down. Just then, Vaike came back, ready for more. Duck Hunt Dog nervously swallowed his own spit before running all over to avoid the shots from both buffoons.

"Oh... I'm never going to join in on the real fun!" Crazy Hand whined. "I'm coming over boys!"

"Crazy, no, wait!" Falco begged, getting up. Sadly for him, Crazy ignored him completely, firing water all over with his giant water gun. The water drenched nearly everything in sight, including Sonic, the Bob-omb shed, a gang of wild Pidgey, and even the palace's windows, which cleaned up all the gunk that was on them. It even managed to knock Corrin down to the ground.

"Ugh! What's going on?!" she groaned, getting up. Quickly, shaking all the water off, Corrin looked over towards the battlefield, noticing the drenched weirdos and even stranger than that, a pond that was made out of a ton of water Crazy fired off. Said pond had Yoshi, Chrom and Sans lounging in it already, all three of them wearing sunglasses.

... Yet, even weirder than that was a strange, glowing orb that only Corrin could see that sat just behind Falco, Crazy, and DHD's fort. Deciding to check it out, she ran ahead, evading any of Crazy's misfired shots. As soon as she reached the fort, she could immediately recognize the bizarre orb.

"Wait... a dragon vein?! Here?!" Corrin gasped. "I wonder... what will it do?"

~Funky Area stops~

And that's when she used her dragon blood to activate the dragon vein. Thus, the earth beneath the grounds began to shake, scaring everyone and forcing the gang to stop playing.

"WAA!" Waluigi screamed, falling down. Wario manged to get him back up onto his feet while Falco, Duck Hunt, and Vaike tried to calm Crazy Hand down. Soon, the earth cracked just the tiniest bit before a purple mist began to emerge from it. Marth, Corrin, Chrom, and Yoshi rushed over to get a better look at the mysterious mist, which slowly spread across the entire field. Soon enough, everyone was blinded by the mist, causing Crazy to panic even more. Just as soon as the mist arrived, it faded away, revealing an entire army of shadowy humanoids wielding swords, lances, axes, tomes, staves, and even Dragonstones.

"What the?! Who are these punks?!" Waluigi demanded to know.

"I don't know, but I don't think they're here to be pals with us," Duck Hunt commented.

"AHAHAHA!' a high-pitched voice cackled. Suddenly, the owner of the voice, another one of the shadowy beings, appeared right above the gang. It then started glowing, before filling the area with an immensely bright light, blinding everyone. The light was short lived, but once it faded, everything had changed. A dark barrier enclosed the field, yet even weirder was that was the fact that both the shadow creatures and the gang had been turned into sprites.

"Waa! I'm a sprite! We're all sprites now!" Wario brought up.

"These... things just went from creepy to just plain crazy! Just like me!" Crazy Hand said.

"Why aren't they approaching?" Yoshi wondered.

"I... I may sound a little crazy here, but I think they're wanting us to prepare before they strike," Corrin suggested.

"Please don't try to impersonate me, lady Corrin," Crazy ordered.

"Well then, I suppose that's what we need to do," Chrom said, unsheathing his Falchion.

"Way ahead of ya!" Wario replied, pulling the Dinner Blaster from out of nowhere. Everyone else started getting their weapons out as well, aside from Crazy Hand and Yoshi. As soon as they were all ready, the words "Player Turn" appeared in front of them.

~March To Deliverance from Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows Of Valentia starts to play~

"Uh... what was that?" Yoshi said, scratching his head.

"I... don't know. More importantly, what's with all these tiles?" Marth wondered. Everyone looked down, noticing strange, squared tiles on the ground. In particular, blue and orange tiles surrounded Marth.

"I think they're... how far we can go an attack... I guess?" Corrin suggested.

"Whatever! Let's just go kick some shadow weirdo booty!" Wario yelled. Suddenly, the same blue and orange tiles surrounded Wario as well, before the yellow plumber took four steps ahead, standing just one tile away from one of the shadow monsters. Just as suddenly as they appeared, the tiles vanished while Wario and the shadow creature he was attack immediately transformed back into their normal selves. Wario then aimed the Dinner Blaster right at the beast's head and fired. The attack hit, blowing its head off before it completely faded into nothing.

"WAA-NDERFUL!" Wario laughed as he put the Dinner Blaster down on the ground before flexing his muscles. An EXP. bar appeared over his head, with the bar being filled with twenty-eight points. The bar vanished as Wario turned back into a sprite.


Master Hand, Lucario, Meta Knight, Mario, and Luigi stood right outside of the dark barrier. Master Hand kept trying to punch through it to no avail while the four Smashers thought of another plan to break through.

"So what plan are we going with first, the Final Smash idea or getting everybody to shatter that thing?" Meta Knight inquired.

"I guess the Final Smash one first... I'll go get everyone else while you guys get a Smash Ball ready," Lucario answered before running off to the palace. Meta Knight and the Mario Bros. looked at each other before Mario and Luigi followed Lucario.


Falco, back in his regular form, stood one tile away from a shadow monster that wielded an axe. Staring right at the beast, he quickly pulled out a loaf of bread from out of nowhere.

"Taste the wrath of the holy bread, you fiend!" the space bird screamed, leaning back to throw the loaf. After winding his throwing arm a bit, Falco tossed the loaf... only for it to land just a few inches away from him. Falco and the shadow creature just stared at the loaf with a blank expression as they turned back into sprites. Just then, the words "Enemy Turn" appeared.

~March To Deliverance stops as Annihilation from Fire Emblem: Awakening starts~

One of the shadow beasts marched right over to Waluigi, sword in hand. Waluigi, the beast, and Wario, who was right next to Waluigi, turned into their normal forms. The beast wasted no time, lunging right for the lanky idiot. Luckily for Waluigi, Wario blocked the attack for him. The tall weirdo then counterattacked by jumping over Wario and slamming his tennis racket down on the enemy. Wario finished the creature off with another blast from the Dinner Blaster. Both gained a small amount of experience points before they reverted back to their sprite forms. The rest of the shadow army approached but didn't attack before the "Player Turn" showed up again.

~Annihilation stops as March To Deliverance starts again~

"You punks thing you can hurt my bro?! Well think again, losers!" Wario yelled. He hastily moved to another shadow creature, once again standing one tile away, before he and the beast transformed. Wario aimed for the beast's head, but just before he fired, a cut-in of Wario's face appeared right in front of him.

"What the..." Waluigi muttered, confused by the cut-in.

"Have a rotten day!" Wario proudly shouted. The cut-in vanished, allowing Wario to finally attack. The blast instantly eliminated the enemy, granting Wario more experience points as he laughed at his success before he changed right back. Corrin was just about to move ahead, when suddenly...

~March To Deliverance stops~

... a random human waltzed onto the battlefield.

"Hold up, wait just a minute!" the human demanded. "Did you just block the attack for him just a few seconds ago?!"

~Bouncy Wario from Wario Land 2 starts~

"What does it look like I did, weirdo?! Did I actually hit him myself?!" Wario asked.

"Ugh... that mechanic. It's stupid! Whoever allowed that, I swear to..."

"Someone explain who this guy is and how he got in here," Duck Hunt Dog demanded.

"I dunno about either of those, but he sounds like a loser to me," Waluigi commented.

"And another thing! Why are those three here?!" the human yelled, pointing at Chrom, Vaike, and Corrin. "I mean, them over someone like Ike or Roy?! Come on!"

... And then Wario had it with the new guy's nonsense and fired the Dinner Blaster at him, sending him flying all the way to the moon.

"Thanks for getting rid of that guy," one of the shadow creatures said in an E.T.-esque voice.

"No problem! Now then, how's about we get back to trying to kill each other?" Wario responded.

"Sounds like a fun idea!" the same creature replied.

~Bouncy Wario stops~

Just then, a sudden burst of light appeared behind the Smashers trapped within the force field. Everyone turned around just moments before the barrier broke completely as light enveloped the area, with everyone turning back into their original forms not long afterwards. As soon as the light died down, the small army was greeted with the sight of everyone else who resided at the palace.

~Together We Ride from Fire Emblem Heroes starts to play~

"Waa! You're late!" Waluigi complained.

"Yeah, and so is GengarFan3!" Crazy added.

"What?!" Wario wondered.

"Enough! Let's just take those things out!" Master Hand ordered. Everyone nodded in response before charging at the enemy. All of the non-tome wielding monsters charged for the Smashers and Shepherds while the tome users stayed back and attacked from afar.

... Unfortunately for them, that plan didn't work, for the Smashers and Shepherds easily plowed down the beasts in the front. Wario led the charging heroes through, knocking all foes down with his iconic Shoulder Bash attack. The monsters in the back realized that they were done for and decided to retreat back to the crack in the earth before the opposing army could finish them off. Once the last shadow creature slipped through the crack, the crack itself slowly shut itself.


~Together We Ride stops as Event - Unbound from Sonic Adventure starts~

The Shepherds were standing outside the gates of the Smash Grounds, saying goodbye to Chrom, Robin, and Lucina before they left. Even Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, and Duck Hunt Dog were giving a few certain members of the Shepherds.

"I wish I spent some of the time I spent with with Vaike with you," Duck Hunt said to Kellam. "We understand each other too well."

"Agreed. I hope we can both become truly remembered one day," Kellam replied, petting the dog's head.

"I'll make sure to write... er, get someone to write for me. I'm, uh... not very good at it, you know, with me being a dog and all." The two chuckled before Kellam started walking over towards the rest of the Shepherds while Vaike said his final goodbyes to Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy.

"F-for someone we just met... you sure have become one of us real quick, ya know," Crazy stuttered.

"Yeah... either way, I'll make sure I stop by every once in a while just to be with you guys again," Vaike said.

"Waa! Good to know!" Wario commented.

"You'll... you'll make sure to never forget us though, right?" Crazy inquired.

"Hah! Vaike never forgets! I... just don't always remember, that's all. You guys are staying within my heart and mind until I die!"

"Hey, Vaike!" Lissa screamed, grabbing the gang's attention. "We're leaving!"

"Well then... see you guys some other time!" Vaike said. He ran over to the rest of the Shepherds, who were marching into the woods in front of the grounds. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy, Duck Hunt, Chrom, Robin, and Lucina all waved goodbye until their friends were out of sight. Wario and Waluigi stayed behind while everyone else walked back to the palace.

"I regret saying all those bad things about those weirdos staying here. Mostly because of Vaike, but still," Wario stated. Waluigi merely nodded in response as the two stared off into the sky above.

~Event - Unbound stops~

Little did the two know, Sonic was standing right behind them, with an angry look on his face and bruises from when Master Hand tackled him earlier.

"So, I hear that you guys were the ones behind the explosion earlier," Sonic angrily said. Wario and Waluigi turned around, both a little worried.

"Y-yeah! So what if we are? What are you-"

... Unfortunately for Waluigi, Sonic interrupted him by grabbed both him and Wario and lifted over his head before he threw them into the Smash Grounds's mailbox, where they would stay until their next escapade... which would occur in just less than an hour.

Chapter Text

Episode 4: Weegee Strikes Back

Just an hour after the Shepherds had left the grounds, the ever silly Mailtoad marched right on over, with a ton of mail for the Smashers. He stepped on over to the grounds's mailbox, pulling out the mail before attempting to open the box...

~Know What I Mean from Mario Party 2 starts to play~

... but then Waluigi popped his head right of the mailbox.

"Hhhiiii Mailtoad!" Waluigi greeted the mushroom mailman. In response, Mailtoad... started flinging his arms around while his head flew off his body before he just vanished, leaving behind all the mail for the Smashers. "OK, see you later!" The purple moron pulled himself out of the tiny, metal box, with Wario popping out a few seconds later, and a few seconds after that, Sans did as well. The Wario Bros. stayed by the mailbox to check the mail while Sans ran back into the grounds.

"So, what does this dump have for mail today?" Wario questioned as his bro picked up the mail.

"Let's see... junk mail, junk mail, junk mail, taxes, junk mail, junk mail, a check worth one million dollars, junk mail, Mario Party: Star Rush ad, and... hey, mail for you, Wario!" Waluigi said.

"Gimme that!" the dunce roared as he grabbed the letter before reading it out loud. "Dear Wario, you have just won a trip to some stupid island for no apparent reason! There, you will meet the Boss Baby! You may bring up to eight friends! Not clickbait! Please come unarmed."

"Waa, what's a Boss Baby?" Waluigi wondered, folding his arms.

"I dunno, but it sounds stupid," Wario replied. "That aside, this sounds great! A FREE island vacation! Away from this boring place! We can't pass this up!"

"You got that right!" Waluigi said. The two then dashed right back into the grounds, going to gather some friends for the trip.


~Know What I Mean stops as Beach from Pokémon Snap starts~

Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Lucario, Duck Hunt Dog, Snake, Lucina, and Yoshi were at the closest beach to the Smash Grounds, Beam Sword Beach, preparing to board the boat that would take them to the island.

"It's a shame Crazy couldn't come with us. But I guess that watching a SpongeBob marathon in his sleep is fun too," Wario remarked.

"Remind me why I actually bothered to come with you imbeciles?" Lucario asked as he carried his luggage onto the boat that would take them to their destination.

"Because, if you refused, we would make you watch WAA-Conda again, remember?" Waluigi answered.

"Oh... right. Ugh," the Aura Pokémon groaned. Wario was about to comment on how Lucario was somehow jealous because he couldn't make a video as half as good, but his cell phone started ringing like crazy, forcing him to answer.

"Waa, who's this?" Wario answered.

"It's E. Gadd! Now, where are you lunatics?! I need you to find the flash drive!" E. Gadd replied.

"We're taking a trip to some island, and you aren't going to stop us! We'll start looking for that thing tomorrow!"

"No! That flash drive must be found as soon as possi- wait, an island you say?"

"Yeah, what about it?"

"This island... it wouldn't happen to be north of Beam Sword Beach, would it?"

"Yep, north of Beam Sword Beach."

"Ohohoho! Then you're heading close to where the flash drive was detected! Granted, I can't get a perfect signal from it, but... make sure you look for it while you are on your trip, OK?"

"Waa... fine."

"Good! Now then, good luck!" The call then ended and Wario put his phone away before running over to the boat.


~Beach stops~

About an hour later, the gang had finally arrived on the island. Rolling hills, Goombas rolling down the rolling hills, palm trees, and flowers with smiley faces covered the island, but the most noteworthy feature was the certain castle that loomed over everything else.

"Sure was nice of some random guy to invite us here in the tropic, eh Waluigi?" Wario asked.

"I hope they made lotsa spaghetti!" Waluigi responded. "And they probably did!"

"Everyone, look! Lotsa spaghetti!" Falco yelled, pointing to a huge plate of spaghetti that was just sitting there.

"I told you!" Waluigi bragged as Snake, Yoshi, and Lucina ran for the pasta.

"Something's not right," Lucario said. "What kind of dunce other than Wario, Waluigi, or their stupid friends would leave a huge plate of pasta out in the open like this?"

"Who cares, spaghetti is spaghetti!" Waluigi yelled as he ran for the pasta as well. Just as he was about to get his fair share, a cage surrounded the massive pile of food, capturing the three of the eight Smashers, before teleporting out of sight.

"No! Snake!" Duck Hunt Dog cried out.

"No!" Wario shouted. "Our pasta!"

"I told you!" Lucario bragged.

"Shut up, only I can say that," Waluigi said before pushing the Pokémon over. Suddenly, a shadow appeared over the gang of five, causing them to look up.

~Boss from Sonic The Hedgehog starts to play~

"Well well, if it isn't the "Wario Boobs" and company!" the owner of the shadow, Weegee, chuckled evilly.

"Weegee!" Wario shouted back. "Snooping as usual, I see!"

"And you're as fucking stupid as usual," Weegee cursed. "You fell nearly perfectly into my trap!"

"What's the big idea, kidnapping our friends like that?!" Duck Hunt Dog demanded to know. "I thought you only really had beef with Wario, Waluigi, and Falco!"

"That was the case, but ever since our first encounter, I've done a bit of thinking and, well, those buffoons aren't the only ones on my hit list now," Weegee answered.

"Enough! Hand over our friends or this won't end well for you!" Lucario commanded.

"Like I'd do that. If you want your crappy friends back, you fools will have to rescue them yourselves. You better pray that you can crawl through my castle and find them... if you can even get that far!" Weegee then teleported away, leaving the five remaining Smashers to run over to Weegee's Castle.


~Boss stops as Gruntilda's Lair from Banjo-Tooie starts~

Weegee was standing in between two signs, both of which guiding passerby down one of two trails. One trail lead down to Weegee's Castle, the other to an entrance to the Internet that Weegee constructed. In an attempt to thwart the Wario Bros., the evil, stiff meme switched the signs and teleported away, heading off a bit closer to his castle. A few minutes later, Wario and his gang showed up, noticing the two signs and trails.

"The one on the left says "To Weegee's Castle" and the one on the right says "To the Internet"," Lucario said.

"No dip, Sherlock!" Waluigi replied.

"Yeah, we're all out of dip," Falco said as he shook an empty cup. "I guess that means I'll just have to eat bread without it." Falco then pulled out a loaf of bread from out of nowhere and began scarfing it down his throat while he walked down the "Weegee's Castle" path.

"Something's telling me that this a trap," Wario said. "I say we go on the "Internet Path"."

"You're just trying hard to look smart," Lucario responded.

"Whatever. You can come crawling back to us once you find out you were wrong," Waluigi taunted as he and Wario moved onto the right path. Lucario and Duck Hunt Dog followed Falco down the left path. A few seconds later, the trio came running back, heading back towards the other path.





Weegee was now in front of a large hill, next to path that lead to his castle. Using a paintbrush, he painted a tunnel on the rock face, as well as a sign saying "Shortcut to Weegee's Castle!" He then hid behind some nearby bushes, waiting for the heroes to show up.

"Hey guys, a shortcut!" Wario shouted as he came into view.

"Gee, how convenient," Lucario commented. The group of five walked to the painting and... somehow managed to walk through it.

"Wait, what?!" Weegee said as he jumped out from the bushes. "How did they manage to walk through?!" The Luigi doppleganger then started to run through the rock face, but then realized just what was going to happen. "Oh no, I know how this is. The "good guys" get to waltz right in just fine, but when the one pulling this trick winds up slamming into the rock! I won't fall for that shit!" Weegee then started charging up a laser beam from his eyes, firing just seconds after into the tunnel. However, the beam merely traveled through the cavern, doing no damage whatsoever. Weegee turned to the "screen" and shrugged before marching through the tunnel... only for it to cave in as soon as he entered. "Ugh... I knew it would happen, I prepare for it, and my own Looney Tunes trick completely backfires. Just great."


~Gruntilda's Lair stops~

"Weegee's Castle, dead ahead!" Waluigi shouted, pointing to the giant castle. The only thing standing between the fortress and the gang now was a seemingly bottomless canyon, with the only way across being a shaky, old bridge.

"Try not to fall into the canyon below, or else you will die," Waluigi warned, saying the last five words in CD-I Ganon's voice.

"This is no time for CD-I references!" Lucario responded.

"But that's what all true warriors strive for," Wario said. Lucario groaned and Duck Hunt Dog sighed as the five slowly traveled over the bridge.


"Welcome back, Weegee!" one of Weegee's enslaved Goomba guards said as the Luigi impostor approached the castle's dungeon. "Here to check on the prisoners?"

"Yes," the evil being said as the doors opened. The two made their way to the cells, stopping in front of the one with the other three Smashers inside.

"You owe me a huge plate of spaghetti, you dictator!" Yoshi shouted.

"Shut up dino brain, I owe you nothing!" Weegee taunted. "Now, how to torture you fools... I know! The prehistoric idiot will be forced lay eggs until he dies from it, I'll make the princess the maid around here, and... I'll just get rid of Snake, because he's too stupid."

"You won't get away with this! Waluigi and everyone else will save us!" Lucina argued.

"Yeah yeah yeah, hope will never die, whatever," Weegee muttered, turning to the Goomba guard. "You go check on my secret weapon while I check on Malleo, got it?"

"Aye aye sir!" the Goomba said. Both of them went there separate ways while the three Smashers looked at each other with confusion.


"Man, this place is huge!" Wario shouted as the group made it into the dark castle.

"And empty," Lucario added. "No guards whatsoever? Or anything? Even you three don't seem that dumb."

"Quiet, you furball! We're not stu- hey, look!" Wario shouted. "A button!"

"It says "Do not press this button unless there are intruders. Knowing the Wario Bros., they'll press this regardless". Let's press it!" Waluigi shouted.

"No, don't!" Lucario yelled as Waluigi pressed it. Immediately, an alarm went off within the room, and Goomba guards rushed in seconds later, surrounding the five Smashers. "Now look what you've done!"

"Don't worry, I have a plan!" Wario replied as he ate a ton of garlic as fast as he could.

"That plan being?!" Duck Hunt asked.

"This!" Wario said as he released a massive fart. The guards choked on the horrid stench, while Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Lucario, and Duck Hunt Dog escaped the smell, with the latter three holding their noses.


~Battle Fanfare from Paper Mario starts~

The Weegee version of Mario, Malleo, was sitting in his room, playing Sonic Adventure on his Dreamcast, just having a gay ol' time.

"Man, this is just like 1999 all over again... except this time, I'm in some dingy castle, but whatever! Still nothing but nostalgia!" Malleo cheerfully said. That's when Weegee slowly entered the room. "Heya Weegee! What's up?"

"Something big's going on, that's what's up. You see, we have a few guests over-"

"Ooh! Guests?! Sounds fun!" Malleo replied, throwing his controller aside and jumping off of his bed.

"No no Malleo, calm dow-"

"Yeah yeah yeah! I'm going to have some new friends!" Malleo said. He rushed out of the room, leaving Weegee to sigh.

"Ugh... excitable older brothers." Weegee then gave chase, leaving the lights and TV on and everything.


~Battle Fanfare stops~

The gang of five found themselves within a dark hallway that was usually blocked off. Even the Goomba guards or Malleo weren't allowed to be in there, even in case of emergencies. The only lights in the hallway were barely functioning, only giving off the smallest amount of light and constantly flickering. Aside from the lights, the only other things in the entire hallway was a lone bookshelf and plenty of books in it.

"Yeah, so what? I don't care if you smell slightly worse than usual," Waluigi stated, stopping and turning around towards the Aura Pokémon.

"Slightly worse than usual?" Lucario commented, shoving his face right into Waluigi's. "What's that supposed to mean?!"

"It means you always smell bad, loser!" Wario remarked. Lucario lunged for Wario, which resulted in the two starting a fight. Waluigi hastily joined in, and Falco tried to break up the three. DHD merely sighed before noticing a worn out, green book with the word "diary" on it. Deciding to read it until the others stopped fighting, he opened it to the fifth page... which was among the most bizarre pages in the entire diary.

~Mt. Moon from Pokémon: FireRed/ LeafGreen starts~

"June 13th, 1997

Dear diary,

Honestly, today was boring. Aside from playing a little of Sonic 2 with Malleo, it was nothing but laying around and doing nothing.

But then dad came home late at night... alone. Mom never showed up. And... dad was shivering as if he'd seen a ghost. He sure as heck wasn't cold or anything... it's summer, darn it. He wouldn't answer anything I asked him. Where mom was, if I could get some pizza... nothing. I'm... just confused right now. I'm sure everything's fine and all, but... still.


June 14th, 1997

Dad locked himself in his own room and still wasn't saying a word. Mom still wasn't home.

... Found out why on the news.

Mom's dead. And it sure wasn't just some accident. Her whole arm was sliced off and no one can find it. Some... some monster killed her. Dad must have seen the body or something. That's why he's all shook up.

Malleo's still in the dark about this, and I'm making sure that things stay that way. Since dad is likely going to die in fear in that room, I'm taking over. And I'm keeping Malleo away from the news. I'm never letting him out of the house by himself.

I'm not letting his innocence die.


June 15th, 1997

Dad's gone. Door was unlocked, window was shattered...

What the fuck is going on.

Just... what is going o-"

"Hey, Duck Hunt, we're moving on!" Falco yelled from the other end of the hall. DHD kept staring at the diary for a second before replying and following.

"Uh, yeah, I'm coming!"


~Mt. Moon stops~

Weegee came to an intersection of three wide hallways, looking for Malleo. Not finding him, he ran straight ahead, not knowing that his brother was right behind a nearby plant. Malleo slunk out of his hiding spot and giggled.

"Gee, if Weegee wanted to play hide and seek with me, he coulda just said so," Malleo said. "Or did he want to play tag? Maybe I should've asked." Malleo then just stared off into the direction Weegee went for a moment until he heard footsteps from behind him. Turning around, Malleo saw the crew of five approaching, though they skidded to a halt.

"Waa! Who're you?" Waluigi asked.

"My name's Malleo! And you must be those guests Weegee told me about!"

~Guildmaster Wigglytuff from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts to play~

"And we're going to be the best of friends!" the meme responded. Lucario had a large sweat drop on his head for some reason, as well a tired look on his face, while everyone else were just confused.

"Uh... you want to be best friends... against Weegee's own wishes?" Duck Hunt Dog questioned.

"Hm? What do you mean?" Malleo asked.

"We mean that he wants us dead!" Lucario answered.

"Ah! I hate it when my bro just wants to hurt new friends! What's his problem with you guys?"

"Well... me, Waluigi, and Falco I... summoned him to this world on accident and he got mad because we separated him from you," Wario answered.

"Oh. I can understand why he hates you then, but... why does he have to be such a big, fat meanie?!"

"Look, Malleo or whatever your name is, we're in a bit of a rush to save a few friends of ours. Do you know where your brother might be keeping them?" Lucario asked.

"Yeah yeah yeah! In the dungeon! It's down that way a bit!" Malleo informed, pointing down the third hallway. "It's the only room down there!"

"Thanks!" Duck Hunt Dog quickly said before running down the hall alongside Lucario. The other three were just about to follow, but Malleo tackled them.

"Wait!" Malleo said, getting off of them while pulling out a little note. "Here's my email! Please talk to me online when you can!" Falco grabbed the slip of paper, which had "Sonmalli94 " on it. "Oh, and if you never played the game Sonic 06, Next Gen, whatever you want to call it... DON'T."

"OK, thanks for the advice!" Wario said as the trio got up.

"Hey! Wario, Waluigi, Falco! Hurry up, Lucario fell down a hole, and I'm not getting any response from him!" Duck Hunt yelled, now standing in front of a square hole.

"Yeah yeah, we're coming!" Waluigi replied as the trio walked over. Malleo wondered what to do for a moment until he decided to teleport back to his room and continue playing Sonic Adventure.


~Guildmaster Wigglytuff stops~

"I'm innocent, I tell ya!" Vile the Reploid, who was stuck in a damp cell across from Yoshi, Snake, and Lucina's cell shouted. "I was just tripping down the stairs! I didn't mean to send that kid into the void!"

"Geez, will that guy shut up?!" Yoshi complained, waking up from a nap.

"Probably not soon," Lucina said. "But... hopefully soon."

"Don't worry," Snake said as he was carving a key out of soap. "Within an hour, I will have us all free."

"Or maybe Wario will save us," Yoshi replied as Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Duck Hunt Dog appeared out of nowhere, before Wario ripped the metal bars apart.

"Hey, where's Lucario?" Lucina asked as she walked out through the bars.

"He fell down a hole," Wario muttered. "He should be fine, I think that flea bag still had eight lives or something."


"Oof!" Lucario grunted as he smashed into the bottom of a dark pit (and no, not that kind of Dark Pit). "I always wondered what was at the bottom of these pits," he said as he got up. "Didn't exactly expect that it would just be plain darkness though."

"Oh, but there's much more than darkness! Including a friend in me!" a voice replied as a set of lights turned on. The light revealed the place to be an exact copy of YouTube's website, with random and stupid videos all about, ranging from video game music extensions by BrawlBRSTMs3 X, DidYouKnowGaming videos, and so much more. The only thing that was out of place was a giant Trojan Horse, the owner of the voice, that loomed over Lucario.

"Uh... you were the one talking to me... right?" Lucario asked the Trojan Horse... which responded by shattering its head, revealing a glitchy creature inside the wooden horse.

"YES, NOW DIE, LOWER LIFEFORM!" the glitch matter screamed from the top of its non-existent lungs. Lucario ran away from the glitchy beast, who crawled out of its horse body to follow.


"Either way..." Wario continued. "We need to focus on dealing with Weegee!"

"Whatever you say..." Yoshi muttered as he, Snake, and Lucina got out of the cell.


"Yeah! I have to get back to playing Cars for the Wii!" a Koopa Troopa who shared Vile's cell added.

"Fine, ya whiny losers," Wario said before running over to every single filled cell, breaking the bars and setting everyone free. As soon as Wario was finished, everyone ran for the dungeon's exit.


Weegee was sitting at the room where the computer he found in the castle when he first arrived. Messing around on the computer, he was spying on the Weegee version of Bowser, named Bowza.

"I guess Bowza will be the next one to bring here. He sure as well won't enjoy being a goon, but he'll just have to deal with it," Weegee muttered. Just then, a Goomba goon rushed into the room, sweating and panting.

"W-weegee, sir!" the Goomba panted. "I have a status report!"

"Go on," Weegee replied, still keeping his eye on the computer.

"Well... firstly, it appears Malleo went back to his room. No one's seen him with Wario or any of those weirdos. Secondly, we have the secret weapon ready whenever you need it."

"What about Wario and those fools? Are they in the castle?"

"Oh, uh... yes, they are. Last I heard they broke everyone out of the dungeon."

"Well then... I guess it's time for the secret weapon then," Weegee coldly stated as he shut the computer down and got up. "You stay here and lock the door. I'll go take care of them."

"Y-yes sir!" the Goomba complied before Weegee teleported to the location of his secret weapon.


The seven Smashers were sitting on a few beds in the Goombas's bedroom. Falco had a map of the castle's first floor in his hands and was trying to find out where they were.

"Hmm... I think we're right here, right by the lake that's supposed to be outside," Falco claimed.

"Lemme see that!" Waluigi said, swiping the paper out of the space pilot's hands. Waluigi and Duck Hunt stared at it for a few moments until DHD spoke up.

"Falco, that isn't a map of this castle. That's Snake's lewd drawing of Zelda, with the "lake" being a coffee stain."

"... Oh. I couldn't tell when it was upside down," Falco replied, scratching the back of his head.

"I guess that explains why it smells like coffee and panties. Doesn't explain why it smells like soap though," Wario mentioned.

"How would you know what panties smell like?" Yoshi asked.

"Wearing those panties of WAA-Conda has left their weird scent on me. Not even a bath could get that scent off," Wario answered.

"What I'd like to know is why did Falco have my drawing in the first place?" Snake brought up.

"Hey, I just found it on the floor just a few minutes ago! It's not like I stole it or anything... baka!" Falco said.

"What's going on?" Lucario inquired as he entered the room.

"What happened to you is the bigger question," Lucina said.

"Long story short, I fell in a hole, got sent to the Internet again, came across some sort of weird monster in a wooden horse, ran from him, came across some bee named Boo the Bee that looked like someone Sonic knows, escaped from the Internet, and crawled through this place until, well... here I am," Lucario stated.

"The... the Internet? What else in Grima's name happened to you guys before you found us?" Lucina wondered.

"Well, you se-" Wario said before he was interrupted by an explosion that occurred outside. The entire castle shook slightly from the blast, and the Smashers hastily ran out of the room just to see what was going on.


~Egg Dealer from Shadow The Hedgehog starts to play~

A bunch of small speed boats controlled by the prisoners Wario set free were dashing through Weegee's battleship armada in the waters surrounding the island. Vile and the Koopa Troopa he was imprisoned with were leading the speed boats, with Vile driving the boat while Koopa aimed a rocket launcher at any ship he could. In fact, the explosion that shook the castle was caused by the Koopa sinking one of Weegee's ships with the rocket launcher. The Smashers made it to the beach where they first landed and took in the sight of the massive fleet.

"Where's our boat?!" Lucario yelled.

"Weegee must've trashed it or something! That rotten loser..." Wario grumbled.

"There's gotta be another way of this dump!" Duck Hunt stated.

~Egg Dealer stops~

"Oh, there sure as hell is another way outta here all right," a certain evil meme said as a large shadow loomed over the gang.

~Militant Missionary from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

Everyone turned around and noticed Weegee controlling his secret weapon: a large mech shaped like his own head, with two, white, glove-like hands floating by it. The left hand was even twitching like crazy, just like, well, Crazy Hand.

"I had this bad boy for a few years now, and now I can finally test it out on all of you!" Weegee boasted from inside the mech. "Wario! Waluigi! Bird brain! And all you other damn fools! It's time for your demise!"

"Says you, loser!" Wario yelled.

"Yeah, the only one meeting his demise is you, you maniac!" Snake shouted.

~Militant Missionary stops~

But then, a half red, half gray ball bounced right into the side of Weegee's mech, damaging the mechanical marvel a bit.

"What the?!" Weegee responded. Everyone one turned to where the ball landed, only to discover that it wasn't a ball at all, but rather the Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog version of Dr. Robotnik.

~AOSTH Robotnik's theme starts to play~

"Well well well, if it isn't the idea stealing Weegee! You nincompoop! You can't just take my mech idea and morph it into a narcissistic version just for you!" the "doctor" complained.

"Hold up! Where the hell did you come from?!" Weegee demanded to know.


~Robotnik's theme stops as Running Through The Nineties starts one minute and twenty-five seconds in~

Malleo was messing around on Weegee's computer, summoning beings from the Internet, including all of AOSTH Robotnik's robots, Garfielf, the Illuminati, and even the godly Morshu.


~Running Through The Nineties stops as Robotnik's theme starts again~

"That doesn't matter, you stupid oaf! All that matters is that I'm going to take you down!" Robotnik angrily replied.

"Well, if you want death so badly, I guess I can give it to you!" Weegee said. The mech charged for the portly man, who somehow dodged to attack by rolling to the side.

~Robotnik's theme stops~

Just then, a boat with wheels drove onto the beach, right next to the eight Smashers, before it hopped up into the air and turned back toward the sea. Upon re-landing back into the sand, the gang found Meta Knight, E. Gadd, and Kapp'n on it.

"Hurry! Get on while Weegee's distracted!" Meta Knight ordered. Everyone did just that immediately while Meta Knight and E. Gadd kept their eyes on the fight between Weegee and Robotnik.

"Alright, now get us outta here!" Lucario told Kapp'n.

"ARE YOU READY KIDS?" Kapp'n asked them, strangely enough, in Painty the Pirate's voice.

"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!" Wario, Waluigi, and Falco replied.


"JUST GET THIS DAMN THING MOVING ALREADY!" Snake roared... which resulted in Kapp'n throwing a brick at his face.

"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!" the three idiots shouted again.

"OOOOOOOOOHHHHH!" Kapp'n moaned as the engine started up.

~Climb Up! And Get The Last Chance! from F-Zero X starts to play~

The boat then dashed right into the sea, charging through the hoard of opposing battleships. Kapp'n steered the ship around the cannon balls the ships launched at them. However, two battleships surrounded the little ship, with a third one closing off the way Kapp'n's boat was going.

"We're doomed, doomed!" Duck Hunt panicked.

"No we aren't! Kapp'n, you see that angled rock over there?!" E. Gadd asked the kappa, pointing to a rock up ahead.

"Aye, I see it," Kapp'n replied.

"Drive onto it and keep going. We're going to fly over that boat!"

"Waa?! No, anything but that!" Waluigi whined.

"Too late!" Kapp'n said as the boat drove onto the rock at full speed. The boat then soared right into the air, high above the battleship, leaving the Smashers and the Goomba slaves on said battleship in awe before the boat safely fell back down onto the water.

"Wait... did that just happen? Did we seriously get away with that?" Duck Hunt Dog wondered.

"We did, and now we're home free!" E. Gadd exclaimed. Everyone cheered as the Smashers caught up with the prisoners, all of them driving back to Beam Sword Beach and leaving Weegee's Island and his naval army behind.


~Climb Up! And Get The Last Chance! stops as Goodnight from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts~

"Waa, today was crazy," Wario said. He and Waluigi were in their room back in the palace, ready to go to bed.

"Waa... you say that as if the last two weren't," Waluigi yawned, pulling the blanket up onto himself better.

"Whatever... say, what do you think happened to Weegee? You know, after that Robotnik showed up?"

"Yeah... what did happen?"


~Goodnight stops~

Weegee was all alone, sitting on the beach of his island, staring off into the night sky.

"Great. Just fucking great. The Wario Boobs get away, Robotnik wrecks something I spent years working on, and... well, taking care all those idiots Malleo summoned wasn't that bad..." the stiff, evil meme groaned.

"Heya Weegee! What are ya doing?" Malleo asked as he walked over to his little brother, carrying a phone book.

"Nothing I guess," Weegee sighed. "What are you doing?"

"One of those Goomba guys you hired told me to give you this phone book. They said there's something interesting on page seven. Something about machines."

"Page seven huh... let me see that," Weegee said. Malleo handed the book over and started walking away but stopped once he remembered something.

"Oh yeah! Weegee! I made some new friends today! Those guests you told me about, Wario, Waluigi... I like them and they like me! And I can't wait to have some fun with them!" Malleo then teleported back to the castle, making Weegee all alone again.

"Great... and now Malleo's friends with those idiots," Weegee whispered. "Guess I'll have to take them out without Malleo knowing about it... oh well. Let's see what those Goombas want me to see."

~Dark Cave from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

Weegee opened the yellow book, right away onto page seven, which was entirely taken up by a single ad. Weegee was confused at first, but then decided to actually read through the ad.

"Let's see... a mastermind at mechanics and science... no money needed, just assist me with taking down my arch-nemesis... yadda yadda yadda... call at 112-1717-1987... the magnificent doctor... P.S. don't tell any heroes about this. Oh. Oh, I sure do get why those Goombas wanted me to see this. I guess they aren't as stupid as I thought. And this sure as hell would help me rebuild my mech... and make it even better!"

Weegee then laughed maniacally and loudly, scaring the nearby birds into flying away.

Chapter Text

Episode 5: The Big Bad Gmod Problem

NOVEMBER 13th, 2016

~Main Menu from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

Wario was sitting in his room, staring at his computer while adjusting a headset that sat on his head. Tapping on the desk, he was waiting for Waluigi to show up.

"I WANNA START, I WANNA START! I WANNA START AND END ALREADY!" Wario heard Crazy complain through the headset.

"We gotta wait for Waluigi!" Wario replied. Just then, Waluigi himself flew into his room, crashing into the wall.

"You guys all set?" the lanky moron asked.

"Yeah, we just need you to join in," Wario stated. Waluigi then leaped onto his bed, where his laptop was waiting for him, and logged into the game called Garry's Mod.


~Main Menu stops~

"Welcome to Gmod, guys!" Yoshi said as the Wario Bros. spawned in the game, standing right next to a towering building. Yoshi, as well as Falco, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, and Snake showed up seconds later, all of them holding crowbars. Strangely enough, every single last one of them used playermodels of themselves. Even Crazy Hand. Especially Crazy Hand.

"Wait, I thought this was called Garry's Mod!" Crazy exclaimed.

"Waa! Who's Garry anyways?" Wario asked.

"Meow," Gary the Snail, who was randomly in the game, meowed, even though everyone failed to notice him.

"Waa, who cares about Garry?! Let's just admire his good work! First off, this city makes that Ridley guy look like an ant!" Waluigi said as the two idiots looked around the town, noticing the large buildings and paved streets.

"First, I think this is a modded map or something," Duck Hunt Dog commented. "And second, that last statement... you really shouldn't have said that."

"Why not?" Wario asked.

"Because Ridley is right behind you," Toad replied. The Wario Bros. turned and noticed the large, purple Space Pirate behind them.

"I guess this is the part where we run in terror, right?" Wario muttered.

"No, this is the part where you sneak into the girl's bathroom," Snake sarcastically said.

"That's not our style," Waluigi replied.

"Can we just start running now?" Wario brought up.

"Oh sure, just let me stretch my legs," his best friend responded.

"There's no time!" Wario roared as he summoned a race car. He then started beating Waluigi with his crowbar before the lanky weirdo started moving to the car.

"Grr... Now I have a butt cramp!" Waluigi shouted as he walked into the car

"This is a video game, you can't get butt cramps!" the yellow pest said as he leaped into the portal. As soon as they were gone, Toad burst into a fit of laughter, rolling all over, even in the toxic sewers.

"What's so funny? Are you thinking of YouTube Poop?" Crazy Hand asked as soon as Toad emerged from the sewers.

"Let me guess, that Ridley is a ragdoll," Duck Hunt muttered.

"Yeah, and to think those morons fell for it!" Toad laughed.

"Speaking of morons, where did Falco go?" Yoshi wondered.

~Snow from New Super Mario Bros. Wii starts to play~

"Merry Christmas, everybody!" Falco shouted from the rooftop of a nearby building. "Here's some bread for all the good boys and girls!" He then fired loaves of bread from a rocket launcher, straight for the five remaining heroes, killing them upon contact.


~Snow stops~

Wario kept speeding through the vacant city in the race car, making sure to get as far away from "Ridley" as fast as possible. Unfortunately for him and Waluigi, Wario crashed into a building, which caused the car to catch on fire. The Wario Bros. barely made it out and got away before the car exploded.

... And if that wasn't bad enough, the floor beneath them caved them, with gravity dragging the dumb duo down to the building's basement, which was only a green room with two huge doors as the only exits.

~Koopa Bros. Fortress from Paper Mario starts to play~

"Where are we?" Wario asked his partner in stupidity as the two landed.

"I had a dream once," Waluigi started. "We were in a room just like this one, right down to the absolute worst color that is green plaguing the walls and floor. The only difference was that there was a giant, angry peanut in here too. We ran away from it, leaping from one end of the room to the other, until we managed to get away from it."

"And how did we do that?"

"Simple!" Waluigi answered. "We just walked out that door behind us." The dumb duo quickly rushed to the door, stopping right in front of it. "Waa... wait a second. I think I remember something bad being behind this door. Like... a hoard of headcrabs or something."

"Come on, what's the worst thing that could be in that room?" the yellow idiot replied as he grabbed the nob. He quickly opened it, allowing the two morons to go through.

~Koopa Bros. Fortress stops~

As soon as they came in, they realized that they had entered a bathroom, and were greeted by the screaming of a Squidward Q. Tentacles, who was inside a bathtub, completely naked.

"WHAAAH! YAAAAHHH! YAAAHHH! YAAAHHH! YAAAHHH YAAHHH! YAAHHH!" the squid screamed before he began to grow tired and began to pant.

"Looks like we dropped by Squid's house," Wario stated.

"This... definitely wasn't what I remember being in here," Waluigi muttered as the two left the room.

"Boy, I'm sure glad that's over," Squidward said as he sank into his bubble bath. Just then, a certain purple Reploid crashed through the wall across from the cartoon squid, causing him to scream again.

"I was just tripping down the stairs!" Vile shouted.


"There you are!" Falco said as the Wario Bros. found the rest of the group. "Where were you?"

"In a situation that even I found overly questionable," Wario replied.

"Well hey, at least you two are OK!" Crazy Hand said.

"Thanks Crazy. Hey, wait... that reminds me. Does anyone else wonder how Crazy's playermodel works?" Waluigi asked.

"I also have hands on my screen, even though I don't have hands," Crazy said before the group fell into silence for a few moments as Crazy's sanity quietly dropped.

~Fight Against An Armed Boss from Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars starts to play~

"I don't understand life anymore... again!" The giant hand then flung his body around the street, eventually hitting Snake, killing him and sending him flying.

"Run!" Toad shouted as the remaining heroes ran from the panicking hand, who gave chase, eventually killing Yoshi as well. The five surviving heroes found a temporary shelter behind a small wall as Crazy zipped by them.

"That was too close!" Silas, who was behind the wall for some reason, said.

"I have to feel sorry for Snake and Yoshi though," Toad stated.

"Forget about them, they'll respawn eventually!" Wario argued. "We still have to survive!"

"Does anyone have a plan to stop Crazy?" Duck Hunt Dog inquired.

"What about a portal trap of some kind? One that will keep Crazy flying through different portals until he calms down," Toad suggested.

"In that case, we need someone to distract that crazy maniac while the rest of us build said trap," Duck Hunt mentioned.

"I'm the one who came up with the plan, so it ain't gonna be me!" Toad screamed.

"Not it!" Wario shouted.

"Not it!" Waluigi repeated. The four then stared at Falco for a few seconds before he spoke up.

"Bread?" the space bird said, spawing a bunch of loaves of bread that he and the Wario Bros. consumed while the other two groaned.


~Fight Against An Armed Boss stops~

"Why do I have to play with those fucking morons?" Weegee asked. He and Malleo just spawned within a building, ready to play Gmod with Wario and company.

"C'mon Weegee! You'll never get along with them until you have some fun with them!" Malleo answered.

"Ugh... whatever you say Malleo," the younger brother replied. Weegee opened the door... revealing all sorts of objects all over the place, including ragdolls of Heavy Weapons Guy, a Mario recolor with white overalls and blue hat and shirt, and AOSTH Dr. Robotnik, guns, and Garfield stuck to a cross as Crazy Hand continued his chaotic rampage in the street.

"Woah! I didn't know we downloaded a chaos mod!" Malleo said before Crazy started flying over towards them.

"God damn hand!" Weegee shouted as barely dodged the panicking hand. "Can't you watch where you're going next time, moron?!"

"I CAN'T HELP IT!" Crazy shrieked as Malleo noclipped into the skies above. Just as the crazy hand was about to try and slam into Weegee again, the voice of a certain bird brain interrupted.

"Come get some!" Falco shouted. Crazy took his attention off of the stiff meme and onto the space pilot. Once the two idiots left, Weegee sighed in relief.

"Glad that shit is over," Weegee cursed. He was about to follow Malleo when Squidward's bathtub, which had Vile and Squidward inside, fell on him, killing the "poor" soul.

"Didn't mean to kill you!" Vile said as Squidward continued to scream.


Wario, Waluigi, and Toad were standing in a small park in the center of the city. Toad analyzed the place while the Wario Bros. kept an eye out for Crazy.

"This looks like a good spot," Toad commented as pulled out his portal gun. Just then, Lucario jumped down in front of the Toad, scaring the three.

"How did you guys manage to get on my server?!" Lucario angrily asked, swinging his crowbar around like a maniac.

"Your server?!" Waluigi shouted.

"Not now guys!" Toad ordered. "We need to set up our trap!"

"A... trap? What would you guys need a trap for?" Lucario inquired.

"Crazy is on a panic rampage," Wario answered. "We need him to cool his jets, before he kills all of us!"

"This is just a video game," the Aura Pokémon argued. "If we die, we'll just respawn."

"Yeah, and we won't have any fun if Crazy's constantly killing us! So help us out!" Waluigi commanded.

"Remind me again why I bother with you two?" Lucario said as he stared blankly at the purple pest.


~Run Run Rottytops! from Shantae And The Pirate's Curse starts to play~

Falco was driving a golf cart, still staying away from Crazy Hand. He made a sharp turn, taking him down a street cluttered with buildings and broken cars

"Toasters, peanuts, Fairly Odd Parents, Adam Sandler, Shining Finger, Carl Wheezer, bikes, Ash X Misty, Ike Climbers, donuts, GengarFan3, Malleo, bombs, tentacles, hen, Typhlosion!" Crazy shouted.

"Calm down Crazy!" Falco begged. "Do you even recognize who I am?! It's me, Falco!"

"You're a LIBURL!" Crazy shouted. "If you are not Christen, then you must die!"

"I didn't know you were so religious!" Falco stated. "Wait... what's a "Christen" or a "liburl"?"

"I don't know either, but they both are probably just synonyms for stupid," Duck Hunt Dog, who somehow got in the golf cart, said.

"How did you get in here?!" Falco asked.

"Beats me," the dog replied as he took his eyes to the road ahead. "But still, Crazy, what's a "liburl", exactly?"

"I don't know, I just know that Falco is one!" Crazy shouted. "I also don't know what a Christen is either."

"I'm not a liburl, Crazy!" Falco replied. "And why do I feel like you're referencing something everyone used to hate until everyone found out that it was just a tro-?"

"Look out!" Duck Hunt shouted. However, Falco didn't listen and ran over the newly respawned Snake.

"Ha!" Yoshi laughed as he made his way into the street. "Poor Snake!" Suddenly, Falco drove back and ran over Yoshi as well, before he continued to distract the insane hand.


~Run Run Rottytops! stops~

"Alright, so the plan is, I set up one portal here on the wall, I set another one somewhere on that building over there, Wario places one right in front of the one on the building, making it impossible for Crazy to avoid, and then he sets one last one up right in front of the first portal, resulting in an endless cycle," Lucario said to his four allies.

"Good enough for me. I guess me and Waluigi will keep an eye out for Crazy while you two do that," Toad suggested.

"Wait! I have a trap ready!" Falco yelled as he came out of nowhere.

"And that trap is..." Lucario wondered.

"THIS!" Falco proudly said. He then summoned a whole mountain of bread, causing the game to even lag a bit. Everyone else just stared at it with a confused look in their eyes until Toad angrily shot Falco with a shotgun, killing him.

"NO! GO BACK AND DISTRACT YOUR FRIEND, AND DON'T WASTE MY TIME WITH YOUR STUPID BREAD EVER AGAIN, OR ELSE YOU GETTING SHOT DOWN WILL BE A RUNNING GAG!" the mushroom person demanded. Falco's "corpse" vanished as he respawned somewhere else, leaving the four to set the trap up.


~Condemnation from Fire Emblem Fates starts to play~

Falco and Duck Hunt were driving away from Crazy Hand again, making sure that he didn't fly over to the trap. Small fires began to clutter the street, and any other players were running away... aside from Sans, who was just watching the chaos unfold.


Lucario had just laid down the second portal needed for the trap and was taking a good, up close look at it. However, Wario had already set up what was supposed to be his second portal and then set what was supposed to be his first right where Lucario was standing, sending the Aura Pokémon into the endless trap.


Waluigi was flying in a giant blimp, looking out for Crazy Hand while Toad and a Sentret they had recruited stayed on the ground in the park. While Waluigi and Toad had no luck, the Sentret caught a quick glimpse of the giant hand chasing Falco and DHD's golf cart. Sentret screamed before flying right into Toad, killing him. Sentret then flew up into the sky, knocking into the blimp, causing it to fall into the city below and explode, which started a massive fire and killed Waluigi.


Wario and Lucario were setting the portal trap up again, this time with Wario starting. Just like how Wario had done before though, Lucario had set up what was supposed to be his second portal while Wario was still getting his portals set. Just as the yellow fool had placed his second portal, Lucario laid his "first" one right where Wario was standing, obtaining sweet revenge as Wario started screaming in agony.


Falco and Duck Hunt were still keeping Crazy's attention on them, although now Sonic was racing with them in a race car. The three kept dodging all the fires that covered the roads, the other players that were running for their lives, and any cars that flew out in front of them. Suddenly, a Stone Talus fell from the sky in front of the three racers. While Falco and Duck Hunt Dog barely managed to swerve out of the giant stone beast's way, Sonic crashed right into it before Crazy plowed right through both of them.


~Condemnation stops~

"It's finished!" Toad cheered as he, Wario, Waluigi, Lucario, and Sentret admired the portal trap. "After two stupid efforts, it's finally finished! Now all we need is for Falco to bring Crazy here!"

"I still want to know why of all people you let Falco do the work as the bait. Do you realize how much trouble he is very likely causing?" Lucario questioned.

"Come on, he's just one little idiot!" Toad argued. "What's the worst that could happen?"

... And then a massive explosion occurred north of the park, grabbing the five's attention.

"Look at that!" Wario said as he pointed to the sky. "Lots of smoke to the north!"

"... Well, the worst that could happen is that he survived that I guess," the mushroom servant muttered.


~Rail Canyon Zone from Sonic Heroes starts to play~

Most of the northern half of the digital city was set ablaze. Explosives of all kinds constantly fell from the sky, but Falco, Duck Hunt Dog, and Crazy Hand were still alive, managing to steer clear of the danger that now lurked the town.

"Potatoes, snails, Waluigi time, Vile, cookies, snow, eyelashes, such stunning features, Plankton, Krabs, Plankton, Krabs, SpongeBob!" Crazy spazzed.

"I really, really hope they got that trap ready!" Duck Hunt Dog stated.

"WAA! We just finished setting it up! Head to the park, pronto!" Wario told the two.

"Good! I can't take much more of this nonsense!" the dog said as the cart dodged a bomb.

"Hey guys... again," Sonic greeted as he pulled up to the golf cart in his race car, now with Kirby riding with him.

"Uh... what's going on exactly?" Kirby wondered.

"Oh, nothing much," Falco answered. "Just driving around, talking, and getting chased by Crazy as everything around us burns to the ground. No big deal."

"That's not exactly what I'd consider to be "no big deal"?" Kirby replied.

"Well, we just need to find Wario and everyone else!" the space pilot said. "They have a trap set up in the park!"

"Look out, Snake's in the road again!" Duck Hunt shouted.

"I hate reoccurring gags," Snake muttered before Falco ran him over.

"Wow, twice in one day," Yoshi commented from the rooftops. "Today just isn't Snake's day. Oh well, at least I haven't gotten run over again." The green dino then took a few steps forward, before he got hit by a flying plane.


~Rail Canyon Zone stops~

Wario, Waluigi, Lucario, Toad, and Sentret kept an eye out for Falco, Duck Hunt, and Crazy Hand, waiting by the trap.

"Waa, what's taking them so long? They should've been here by now!" Wario complained.

"Guys!" Waluigi shouted as Falco's group came into view. "It's Falco, and he's brought some friends too!"

"Get ready then!" Lucario ordered.

"There's the trap!" Falco cheered as his group got closer.

"Wait for it... wait for it..." Toad commanded as the two vehicles and Crazy got closer. "And... jump, now!" The five heroes leaped to the side, opening up the trap. Duck Hunt jumped out of the cart, while Sonic and Kirby steered to the side. Falco drove right into the trap, with Crazy Hand following.

"YAH!" Crazy screeched.

"I'm gonna get sick from this!" Falco cried out.

"Well, looks like we're in the clear!" Wario cheered.

~Victory Fanfare from Final Fantasy (PSX) starts to play~

"Wahoo! We're free to have fun!" Waluigi happily screamed. Everyone aside from Lucario started running around the park like crazy in celebration while the Aura Pokémon just looked at them, confused as to why they were celebrating the way they were. He sighed before talking a look up into the digital sky... and noticing something important.

"WHAT ARE THOSE?!" Lucario screeched.

~Victory Fanfare stops~

"Hey, flea bag, no one wants you spewing out bad memes!" Waluigi told Lucario.

"I'm not trying to meme you moron! Look up there!" Lucario replied, pointing to the sky.

~Panic! from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga starts to play~

Everyone looked up and started screaming immediately. Coming their way were three homing missiles that had targeted the gang.

"For the love of glory, run for it!" Toad shouted as he jumped into Sonic's racecar. Lucario, Sonic, and Kirby followed suite while the Wario Bros., Duck Hunt Dog, and Sentret entered a nearby van. The two vehicles drove away, with two of the missiles giving chase, one after Lucario's group and the other after Wario's gang. The third one got caught in the portal trap with Falco and Crazy.


~Panic! stops as Seabed from the same game starts~

Malleo was busy building a bomb shelter in the ocean that sat on the city's western side. Only having a door set up, Malleo dragged a large piece of metal with his Physicsgun and placed it right next to the door.

"Gee, I sure hope Weegee is OK," the stiff meme stated.

"Barely," Weegee answered as he swam towards his slightly older brother. "With all the chaos going on up there, I'm surprised I only died twice... and both deaths were done by the same maniac!"

"Well don't worry bro, because I got a bomb shelter in the works! I just need to place all these pieces of metal together and..." Malleo started. "Hey, wait! Where's all my metal pieces?!"

"I think I saw a few on the beach when I was coming over here," Weegee stated.

"Oh! Can you go get them for me while I watch over this thing?"

"I... I guess." Weegeee then noclipped through the sea and made it back onto the surface... before a missile came out of nowhere and blew up right in his face, killing him.


~Seabed stops as Terminal Velocity from Sonic Colors starts~

"How in the heck did we get on the top of this building?" Wario wondered.

"How do you not know?! You're the one who's driving! Speaking of, just keep driving! That missile's still on our tail!" Duck Hunt replied.

"Woah! Wouldn't want to be that guy!" Waluigi said. He and Wario then laughed as Duck Hunt Dog sighed. "And... WAA! And look out for that bathtub with wheels!"

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Vile screamed as drove the "Tub Mobile", with Squidward still screaming like crazy.

"Ha, no problem!" Wario shouted as he swerved past the tub. "See?"

"Yes, we're alive!" Vile cheered as he continued his drive. After a few seconds, the tub stopped moving, and Squidward stopped screaming. "Huh? Oh, we just drove over the edge, no big deal... Wait." Squidward then continued his screaming as the tub fell downwards.


"I still can't believe how much of a fucking wreck this place is!" Weegee said as he took in his surroundings. "This truly is the face of destruction. And to think this was all likely done thanks to that stupid hand friend of Wario and Waluigi's!"

"Outta the way!" a mysterious voice ordered. Weegee started to turn around, but he was ran over by Falco and Crazy Hand before he could.

"You gotta be kidding me! Another stupid death?!" Weegee shouted as Lucario's group drove by the meme.

"Weegee?" Lucario wondered out loud. "Is there only one big server or something for Gmod?" He turned to Kirby, who merely shrugged in response.


"So how exactly did Falco cause this mess?" Waluigi asked the dog in the back seat.

"In a way too complicated for you two to understand," Duck Hunt Dog answered.

"Are you questioning our intelligence?!" Wario roared.

"No, because even I hardly get it! You can just keep our eyes on the road!" the dog barked. "Make sure we don't drive into the sea or some- Wait, that's it! That's how we'll get rid of it!"

"What's it?" Waluigi inquired. "It's Waluigi time?"

"No!" Duck Hunt Dog said.

"We drive this thing into the ocean, where the missile will follow!" DHD and Lucario simultaneously said to their respective groups.

"I mean, that missile's likely targeting the cars now instead of us, right?" Duck Hunt Dog asked.

"Sounds stupid," Wario muttered.

"And you two can think of a better plan?!" Duck Hunt Dog argued. Wario and Waluigi thought for a bit, coming up with them picking their noses.

"Probably, but I guess we could go with your plan," Waluigi muttered as the three took a sharp turn to the east. "Next stop, the sea!"


"Where are they?!" Yoshi wondered. He and Snake were in a monster truck, looking for the others. They had a hard time avoiding the continuous explosions, but managed to survive.

"I wish I knew... wait, is that Weegee... running away from a tub with wheels, being driven by a purple robot and some squid... thing?" Snake said as he noticed the three figures on the left side of the street.

"Have you been drinking again, Snake?" Yoshi asked.

"N-no! Of course not!" Snake lied.

"OK, then you should notice the giant ramp ahead of us!" the dino shouted, pointing to the very obvious and large ramp ahead.

"All I see is a huge group of sexy ladies!" the soldier answered. "Let's run into them!"

"Yeah, totally not drinking, and totally still sane in the slightest," Yoshi muttered as Snake stepped on the gas pedal. Snake drove over the ramp, causing the truck to fly. It eventually landed in a slot machine, causing it to activate. The machine stopped its wheels on three heads of Sonic, granting the two over nine-thousand rings. The truck began to free fall again, eventually landing on the plane that had killed Yoshi before. After a few seconds, it slipped off and fell into an elevator. It took the truck down a few hundred feet, and it began to fall again. It soon landed on a flying carpet, which took it through a clothing store. The truck exited through the back door, wearing purple panties and bra. The carpet ripped, causing the truck to continue it's fall. It soon fell into a tattoo parlor, crashing out a few moments later with a tattoo with the words "I love Chi-Chi's chi-chis" on the hood.


~Terminal Velocity stops as Super Pipe House from Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars starts~

"Charmander used Water Gun!" a user donning an orange Yoshi playermodel said as he blew bubbles, acting as though nothing was wrong with his burning, hellish surroundings. He noticed a large shadow above him and decided to look up. Unfortunately, he could not avoid getting crushed by the truck Snake was driving. He and Yoshi climbed out of the truck and looked around for another vehicle.

"How did we survive that, exactly?" Yoshi wondered.

"Beats me, but I see a very sexy lady up ahead!" Snake said as he ran ahead.

"I feel like we crushed someone," Yoshi thought as he took his focus on the soldier. "Woah, stop it Snake! That's some guy who likes blowing stuff up!" The green dino chased after the drunk Snake, leaving the truck behind. A few moments later, Luigi, who was using an oversized playermodel of himself, approached the scene.

"Wow, poor Yoshi. Getting-a crushed by truck like that, in a place like this... seems horrible," Luigi commented.

"WAA! STUPID LUIGI!" Waluigi yelled before he fired a rocket from, what else, a rocket launcher, killing the poor green plumber before running off. Just then, the Luigi from the live-action Mario Bros. movie showed up.

"I told Mario it was only improbable that I'd meet a faker some day, not completely impossible," Live-Action Luigi commented.

"I'm-a not a faker! You're the fake Luigi around here!" Luigi argued.

"I hate to break it to the two of you, but you're both fakers of me!" Paper Luigi said.

"I sure have lotsa fakers!" CD-I Luigi claimed.

"Am I really that popular to have fakers?" 8-Bit Luigi said.

"You're all Mama Luigi's fakers!" Mama Luigi Luigi stated.

"Mama mia... This is going to take a while, won't it?" Luigi asked.

"Probably, but it ain't my problem, so I don't care," Weegee said before a truck being driven by Bowser ran him over.


~Super Pipe House stops as Terminal Velocity starts again~

"The sea is dead ahead!" Kirby shouted as their race car was hurdling at high speeds toward the ocean.

"Well, speed it up then! That missile is about to hit us!" Lucario yelled.

"No worries Lucario," Sonic assured the blue Pokémon. "After all, speed is my middle name!"

"I thought your middle name was "capable"," Toad said.

"And I thought it was "the"," Kirby added. Sonic merely sighed as he stepped on the gas, forcing the car to fly by the buildings and chaos even faster.

"It's time to bail, boys!" Sonic said as he jumped out the car. Lucario, Toad, and Kirby swiftly did as well, leaving the car to dive into the ocean, the missile following it into the aquatic depths.

"That takes care of that. Now we gotta find Wario, Waluigi, and Duck Hunt Dog!" Toad exclaimed.

"Knowing those stupid brothers, they could be anywhere in this town!" Lucario complained before the quartet headed south.


"If I'm correct, the closest edge to the sea is right ahead!" Duck Hunt Dog said as he was observing a map.

"Wario, look out!" Waluigi warned his yellow clad companion as Sentret started screeching like a wild animal. "Stoplight dead ahead!"

"Waa, at the worst of times too!" Wario groaned, stepping on the brakes, allowing six Goombas, four Shy Guys, seven Pikmin, Knuckles the Echidna, the Tub Mobile, and Timmy Turner's dad across the intersection. As soon as they passed, Wario drove through at high speed. Just a second later, the missile stopped as well, letting Malleo, ten Machop, eight Tacs, and the some of the shadow creatures Wario and company fought against yesterday cross before continuing its path.

"Guys, look!" Waluigi said as a ramp from before came into view. "We're heading for that ramp!"

"Who just leaves a ramp like that on the edge of a cliff?" Duck Hunt wondered.

"Who cares about ramps on cliffs?!" Wario yelled. "We need to use that ramp! We'll bail on the count of three!"

"Nah, I'll just bail right now," Duck Hunt Dog replied, leaping out of the van.

"One..." Wario started, ignoring the dog. "Two... Three, NOW!" The remaining trio leaped out of the van, letting it go over the ramp.

~Terminal Velocity stops~

Time itself seemed to slow down as the van started flying past the ramp. The missile slowly approached the doomed vehicle as it began to drop back down thanks to gravity. However, the missile hit the van in mid-flight, resulting in a mini fireworks show of sorts.

"Oooh... pretty!" Falco said in awe as he and the rest of the gang walked to the trio.

"Well, all's awkward that ends awkward... I suppose," Lucario whispered.

"You said it. All of this chaos has worn me out. I think I've had enough Gmod for one day," Yoshi said as he and Snake arrived at the edge of the ocean.

"Waa, I agree," Wario stated. "So long, everyone. I'll see you all in this game again after about two years or more. Or maybe never. Or maybe in two seconds. Or maybe when I'm dead." Everyone at the water's edge started to log out of the game, starting with Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Lucario, Duck Hunt Dog, Snake, Sonic, Yoshi, Kirby, and ending with Sentret. Toad was about to log off, but a log crushed him both in the game and in reality before he could.


~Dogsong from Undertale starts to play~

"I was just tripping down the stairs! I didn't mean to send you into the void" the robot shouted randomly, still in the game.

"Quit milking that joke, idiot" Weegee replied. "Whatever humor that pathetic excuse of a joke is gone."

"It's not a joke! I tripped down the stairs again and sent another player into the void!"

"Why do you care for other people like that? I thought you were supposed to be a bad guy or some shit."

"Er, you se- WOAH! Look out for that airplane!" the Reploid shouted as he pointed behind the Luigi clone.

"Please, I'm not stupid enough for your crappy tricks to change the subject," Weegee said as the robot ran away. However, an airplane indeed was heading straight for Weegee and crashed into him, resulting in a massive explosion. Once the dust settled, the words "The End" were shown to be carved into the street, right next to Weegee's burning body.

et, right next to Weegee's body.

Chapter Text

Episode 6: The Giant Breadstalk

NOVEMBER 14th, 2016

It was a quiet day in the Smasher's Palace's library. A few of the younger Smashers were scavenging for books in the children's section, R.O.B. was managing the library's system, and Crazy Hand was reading "How To Summon A Demon In Six Hundred And Sixty-Six Steps For Dummies" in the back corner.

"Hmm... I wonder if they got the book today..." Crazy muttered. Just then, Wario, Waluigi, and Falco broke into the library, with Wario swinging his arms and carrying a brown book in one of them.

"WAA! Who wants to read this story?!" Wario asked.

"WARIO, PLEASE KEEP YOUR VOICE DOWN," R.O.B. said in his robotic voice from behind the checkout desk. "THIS IS A LIBRARY, YOU KNOW. IF YOU DON'T, I WILL FORCE YOU TO LEAVE."

"Can't kick us out if we're here for book related stuff though," Waluigi claimed.

"OH... THAT IS TRUE. CARRY ON THEN," R.O.B. replied. The trio looked at each other with confusion before turning to the approaching Pichu, Toon Link, and Crazy Hand.

"Oh boy, a story! Please tell it!" Pichu begged.

"Alright, all of you sit down and we'll tell it," Falco told them. Pichu and Toon Link did as they were told while Crazy threw his book at Chef Kawasaki, who would pick said book up and begin reading it.

"Here's the title, kids!" Wario said as he showed them the book cover.

"The Giant... Breadstalk?" Toon Link read out loud.

"That book is terrible!" Crazy Hand shouted. "It has words in it! And no pictures either!"

"Hey! How'd you know that? We never told you a single thing about this book up until now!" Waluigi inquired. Everyone turned towards the giant hand, who couldn't answer.

"OK then..." Wario muttered. "Once upon a time..."


~Eterna City from Pokémon: Diamond/ Pearl starts to play~

A small village sat in the middle of nowhere, surrounded by farms and house, those being surrounded by nothing but woods. Nothing but a single road cut through the village. A bunch of creatures, ranging from Pokémon to humans to Dr. Eggman's robots, but most notably, a Falco look-a-like, who was wearing a green, old fashion shirt and pants, with his cow, Maybelle, were walking through said road when a mysterious yet familiar voice spoke up.

"... There was a young bird man by the name of Falco Jack."

"YAAHHH! Who are you, where are you, and how do you know my name?!" Falco asked in panic.

"He was going to sell his cow for gold to help his family through the rough times they were going through," the voice continued.

"Oh no... It's happening... Run everyone, the sky is talking!" Falco panicked. "The sky is talking!"

"Oh great. Just perfect," a nearby Goomba muttered. "First a hand who says the sky is falling, now a bird who claims the sky is talking. Today's been nothing but conspiracy theory nonsense."

"What's next?" a Shy Guy standing next to him questioned. "The sky having a baby?" As soon as the words left his mouth, a giant anchor crushed the house behind the two, causing the area to shake for a few seconds afterwards.

"My house!" a nearby Motobug screamed as he rushed to the remains. The Goomba and Shy Guy looked at each other with concerned faces before they ran off, thinking they had something to do with the damage.

"The sky is talking, head for the bunkers!" Falco continued to warn the villagers, even though he was ignored for the most part. He kept on running until he ran into a Warp Pipe, which a Piranha Plant popped out of just as he showed up.

"Hi Falco!" the red plant greeted.

"Hi Steve!" the bird replied before he continued his panicking. He kept running down a trail for a few moments, until he knocked down a look-a-like of Dark Pit.

~Eterna City stops as Team Galactic Building from the same game starts~

"He eventually found a strange and edgy salesman," the mystery voice said.

"What's the big idea, you damn idiot?!" the angel cursed as he got up.

"I'm sorry sir, I was just warning everyone about the talking sky!" Falco apologized.

"Whatever, stupid bird," Dark Pit replied. "Say, nice cow you got there!"

"Oh, this gal? Her name is Maybelle!" Falco commented, petting her gently.

"Willing to trade that fat ass?" the dark angel suggested.

"Uh... she's not a donkey, she is a cow," Falco stated.

"I know she's a cow! Now, are you going to fucking trade or not?!"

"For gold?" Falco asked.

"Screw gold, I have something better!" the salesman responded as he pulled out the most beautiful thing the bird had ever seen. Something truly magical and perfect.

"Br-br-bread," Falco stuttered in awe as his eyes twinkled. "I'll take it!"

"The salesman made an offer of bread for the cow, and Falco gladly accepted," the odd voice said as the two traded their belongings.

"Thanks, weirdo businessman!" Falco joyfully thanked as he ran back home.

"Heh, stupid ass idiot," the Dark Pit laughed. "I got a cow for just a loaf of bread! Now I, Dark Edgious Pit, shall bring some extra food for my family back in my zombie-infested world!" Dark "Edgy" Pit then took his new cow down the trail, leaving the village for good.

"SPOILER ALERT: YOU DIE! AND YOU DON'T EVEN GET TO EAT THE COW!" Steve shouted, even though his words fell on deaf ears.


~Team Galactic Building stops as Let's Play "Geno" from Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars starts~

Falco Jack was running through the house-filled countryside, keeping his eye on his destination... the yellow and purple house, which just so happened to be his house. Skidding to a halt as soon as stood right in front of the door, he jammed the loaf deep into his only pocket before swinging the door wide open.

"I'm home!" Falco yelled as he entered his home. "And I sold the cow!"

"How much gold did you get?" A Lucario look-a-like asked, holding an assortment of papers.

"When he got home, he told his uncle, Lucario Jack, who is the Squidward of this story, about the trip," the mystery voice said.

"Why must everybody insist on calling me a "Squidward"?" the Aura Pokémon questioned. "And who is saying that anyway?"

"Oh, it's the sky talking. It's been doing that all day," Falco answered.

"You seriously expect me to believe that the sky is talking?" Lucario asked. He shook his head, realizing that he was off topic. "Er, uh... nevermind that. How much gold did you get?"

"I got something better than gold!" Falco said as he pulled out the loaf of bread. "This beautiful loaf!"

~Let's Play "Geno" stops~

"YOU MEAN YOU SOLD MAYBELLE, OUR VERY LAST COW, FOR A HUNK OF BREAD, WHEN WE CAN GET SOME FOR 2.99 AT WAL-MART?!" Lucario screamed as his head grew rather large from all the sudden rage building up inside him.

"Gulp... the giant "Demon Head" trope..." the bird muttered.

"Go back to town and sell that pathetic loaf for something worthwhile! Right this instant!" Lucario ordered, his head shrinking back down.

"His uncle was not pleased, so he forced Falco to sell the loaf," the voice said.

"Ugh... Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go to Oran Berry Fest with that giant 1-Up Mushroom our family's been growing for four generations for the "Biggest Veggie Contest"." Lucario swung open the door, letting "Wario Jack", "Waluigi Jack", and "Toad Hansel" in before he left.

"Just then, Falco's brothers and friend entered the house," the voice continued.

"Waa! Hey Falco!" Waluigi said.

"Hey guys..." Falco sadly responded.

"What's the long face for?" Wario asked, noticing Falco's sadness. "Did you break your 3DS playing Smash, or is it that time of the month again?"

"No, it's none of those! Uncle Lucario wants me to sell this loaf of bread I got!" the bird said.

"Of course that flea bag would want to get rid of something precious to you just to make you upset! What a loser!" Waluigi remarked.

"Er, well, I did kinda sell of Maybel-" Falco said before getting interrupted.

"We need to figure out a plan on how to keep that thing!" Wario said.

"Falco told them about his problem, so they decided to bury the loaf in the backyard, so Uncle Lucario wouldn't notice," the voice said.

"The sky is right you guys, we should bury it!" Falco happily said, pointing to the sky.

"Good idea! I'll go get a shovel!" Waluigi volunteered before he ran out the front door. However, the instant Waluigi set foot outside, something broke through the roof and landed on the wooden floor, causing the room to be filled with dust, blurring everyone's vision. Waluigi peeked back into the house just as the dust died down, noticing just what crashed into the house.

"Do I hear someone needing a shovel?!" the voice of the being who broke in, who was none other than Shovel Knight, exclaimed, holding his iconic shovel high into the air.

"Woah, that shovel's just what we need! Now then, it's time to steal thy shovel," Wario said... before knocking Shovel Knight out cold with a single punch to the head. Waluigi grabbed the shovel before it hit the ground and ran outside with it in both of his hands.

"The quartet found the perfect shovel to bury the loaf with before they set out to their backyard pasture," the voice stated.

"Woah... come to think about it, is it just me, or does that voice sound a lot like Wario's?" Toad inquired.

"What are you talking about, that voice clearly sounds like Danny DeVito!" Wario argued. "Now come on, we need to head outside!" The trio walked towards the back door, ready to bury the loaf.

"Is... Is Wario seriously stupid enough to not recognize his own voice?" Toad thought to himself as he stepped outside.

~Route 1 from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

As soon as Toad came out of the house, the quartet took a look around the wide, open, abandoned pasture, searching for the perfect place to bury the loaf. A spot not too obvious, yet not a forgettable spot either.

"So... where in the world are we gonna bury this thing?" Waluigi asked as he wandered ahead with the shovel.

"Waa... Ooh! By that old tree stump you peed on when you were four, Waluigi! That's the perfect spot!" Wario suggested.

"Woah woah woah Wario! Did you really need to point out the fact that Waluigi peed on that thing? It's a disgusting fact that wouldn't distinguish an already distinct stump since it's the only one here. Besides, Lucario's planning on digging that old thing out in a few weeks. He's bound to find the bread then. I say we bury it underneath the old stable," Toad replied.

"Or maybe by that brick house that stupid Big Bad Wolf O' Donnel loser keeps trying to blow down?" Waluigi added.

"Meh... all of those sound way too obvious!" Falco replied. "We need a spot that our grouchy Lucario would never guess... like... like..."

"No, we're not going to put in a Like Like. Those things are gross," Toad said.

"No, like... in the middle of the Veggie Garden! Of course!" Falco shouted with glee.

"WHAT?! But he's obviously going to find it during harvest!" Toad warned the rest of the gang as they walked over to the garden.

"What would you know, you're not the main protagonist!" Waluigi argued.

"Neither are you!" the mushroom servant replied as Wario began to dig a hole.

"Yeah, Falco's the protagonist, so he's the one who knows what'll work!" the lanky moron shouted.

"B-but it doesn't matter if he's the protagonist! It doesn't make him any smarter!" Toad stated.

"Hey! You two mind keepin' it down?! I can't concentrate on digging if you two are gonna be bickering!" Wario complained, even though he was still digging just fine. The two groaned before walking away from each other.

"You know, these things always creep me out with their faces," Waluigi said as he bent down to pluck a Veggie from the garden. Once he pulled the white turnip out, he noticed that the face looked just like Weegee's infamous, creepy face. The purple pest screamed, completely terrified, before he threw it towards the forest.

"There! That outta be deep enough!" Wario commented. He pulled the shovel out of the deep hole, letting Falco toss the loaf in. As soon as it reached the bottom, Wario started covering it back up.

"Looks like the sun's setting," Toad stated, looking right at the sun. "We might as well get some shut eye."

"Yeah, let's go inside," Wario said as he threw the shovel to the side, having just completely buried the loaf.

"After the four heroes buried the loaf, they decided to get some sleep, so they went back into the house," the voice stated.

"Now that I think about it, that voice sounds a lot like Charles Martinet," Waluigi said as the gang walked back to the house.

"What? Who the heck is that?" Wario asked.


~Route 1 stops~

The full moon hung high over the sky as everyone in the area was asleep, aside from the Zubat who were flying around and the Hoothoot who were chirping the night away in a way only owls could. However, the peace would fade soon enough...

"Later that night, some strange and wonderful magic was taking place in the garden... which caused the ground to shake," the voice said as the ground began to move violently.

"GWAHHH! Risen riding wolves!" Waluigi shouted as he woke up from his sleep. He took a quick look around his room, panting heavily. "Oh, it was just a dream... wait, why is the ground shaking?!"

"Wario!" Toad's voice echoed across the hall. "Are you having a massive fart while asleep again?!"

"No, or else this whole house would smell like beans and death!" Wario yelled. The quakes slowly began to settle as Waluigi wandered into the hall.

"Must have just some random earthquake," the purple pest muttered as he went back into his room. The house was quiet for a few moments, before a large fart was heard, causing a minor quake.

"Aww, come on Wario!" Toad yelled.

"Man, that smells like an awful combo of ketchup, onions, a peanut plant, and dirt!" Falco said before he began to cough like mad.

"Looks like we'll all need to take showers," Waluigi muttered as walked out of his room and down the stairs. "I call first shower!"

"No fair!" Toad complained.


"Hurry up, Toad!" Wario roared as he banged his fists on the bathroom door.

"Can you please shut up? I'm trying to draw a masterpiece over here!" Falco shouted from the kitchen table as he attempted to draw a large, green ogre on a piece of paper.

"I'm going to head outside to do something insanely stupid," Waluigi said as he put his half full bowl of cereal onto the counter.

"Good luck with that!" Wario replied as his twin brother walked by. The purple pest swung the door opened and noticed a giant shadow looming over him. He slowly moved his head up to see the strangest thing he ever saw.

~Still, The Road Is Full Of Dangers from Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars starts to play~

"WAA! Falco, Wario, Toad, come out here!" Waluigi commanded. A few seconds later, Toad rushed out with a towel covering his "lower region", with Falco and Wario right behind him.

"What's so important?" Toad asked before he looked up to the sky. "Oh... I see what's the big deal."

"Is that a... a giant breadstalk?!" Falco questioned as they all stood in awe.

"Once the four heroes went outside the next morning, they found a giant breadstalk in the back yard," the voice said.

"Leave it to the sky to answer all our questions!" Wario cheered.

"That loaf of bread we buried... it must have been magical or something!" Toad stated.

"Hmm... I want to climb that thing! I want to see what the top holds!" Falco yelled.

"That's a stupid idea!" the mushroom servant said, flailing his stubby arms around.

"No one asked you for your thoughts Toad!" Wario said. "Either way, I'm in!"

"Me too, I'm coming too!" Waluigi chimed in.

"Falco, Wario, and Waluigi decided to climb the mysterious breadstalk to find just what awaited them in the sky," the "mystery" voice said, stating the fucking obvious.

"You three are... bah, forget it. You guys can go right ahead, but I'm going to stay down here," Toad said before he walked inside the house. The remaining trio looked excitedly at each other before turning to the humongous breadstalk that awaited them. Falco jumped onto the giant "leaf" closest to the ground, followed by his two brothers.

"Waa... it almost feels like a commercial should be playing right about now..." Waluigi remarked.


~Still, The Road Is Full Of Dangers stops~

A decent ways up the giant stalk made of bread, past the lowest clouds, were two Murkrow, sitting on one of the many "leaves" the stalk had to offer. The two were eating some of the stalk, but after a few bites, the two decided to talk to each other.

"Ugh... you know when me and that dumb Koffing had that... one argument?" one of the Murkrow asked, clearly drunk from the bread.

"D-d-di have no idea what you're... hic! What you're talking about..." the other said.

"Well, I ran into him on the way down here... and I asked him if he still believes we aren't just a figment of some weird man's stupid imagination... AND HE STILL THINKS OTHERWISE! Can you believe that?!"

"Doh... wowie, looks like someone's-a coming."

"Really? DIVEBOMB!" Both of them jumped head first off the "leaf", rapidly falling back to the earth below.

~Fine Field 1 from Kirby: Triple Deluxe starts to play~

Falco then landed on the "leaf" that the twin Murkrow were just sitting on. After getting himself situated, he gazed at his surroundings, realizing just how high they've gotten.

"Woah! I can't believe we're above some of the clouds!" Falco acknowledged as Wario and Waluigi hopped onto the same "leaf".

"Wow... kinda wish this thing wasn't this tall though," Waluigi complained.

"Meh, personally, I prefer the air, so this is amazing for me!" the bird brain commented. He then lightly touched his toes onto the cloud right next to him, finding out that it was solid, for some damn reason, before running at full speed on the cloud. Wario and Waluigi stared at it for a moment, confused about the floating mystery of the sky.

"This thing's solid? Waa... now I wanna know if it tastes like cotton candy or not!" Wario said. Taking a small bite of the white, fluffy thing, Wario slowly chewed on the mouthful he had, tasting it thoroughly before spitting it out. "Bleh! Same texture as cotton candy, but it tastes like water!" The two jumped onto the cloud, running after Falco... leaving the cloud, which actually had a set of eyes and even a brain, to cry silently.

"Waa, now that I think about it, I really hope there isn't much more of this stalk to climb," Waluigi said. "I don't want it to take ages just to get to the top!"

"Then it's your lucky day! Look!" Falco replied, pointing to a spring that was somehow placed on the cloud. Waluigi ran right for it before jumping on, which sent him flying upwards, with Wario and Falco soon following.


~Fine Field 1 stops as Boggly Woods from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door starts~

The breadstalk pierced through a dark cloud that has existed since the formation of the earliest clouds. On it sat a village of large buildings, most of them paling in comparison to the giant castle that laid in the middle of the village. The place was seemingly abandoned, save for a Vile look-a-like, who was sitting on the cloud, reading a book... when Waluigi bashed him from below, sending him up into the air and forcing him to fall of the clouds. Waluigi crawled the rest of the way out of the clouds while Wario and Falco leaped out.

"At the peak of the breadstalk, the three found a village," the mysterious voice boomed.

"Wow... a whole village! I can't believe it!" Falco squealed.

"The place looks deader than the depths of Lucario's soul," Wario claimed. "Where is everybody?"

"In the middle of the village was a giant castle that spewed out lots of smoke. The trio decided to investigate the castle in search of any forms of life."

"Thanks for the idea sky! C'mon you guys, let's check the castle out!" Falco ordered, rushing over to the dark fortress. Wario and Waluigi looked at each other, shrugged, and did as they were told.

"What's with all the smoke?" Waluigi wondered.

"Remember, if there's smoke, there's fire! Or toasters! Or maybe even lotsa spaghetti!" Wario claimed.

"What's a toaster?" Waluigi wondered.

"I dunno, but they sound terrible and I hate them," Falco stated as he was preparing to knock on the door.

~Boggly Woods stops~

Before the bird brain could lay a single finger on the giant, wooden door, an old radio flew out of the castle's highest tower and dove down right in front of them. The trio jumped in fright, yet calmed down nearly immediately.

"Hey there! Sorry, but if it's the cops, then nobody's home! And there certainly aren't any illegal weaponry in here!" a voice said through the radio.

"Come on, the cops are too stupid to come up here!" Wario responded.

"Oooh! Then, uh... just who are you guys then?"

"My name's Falco, and these are my brothers, Wario and Waluigi! We climbed up here on a giant breadstalk!"

"Woah! A giant breadstalk?! That's cool!" the voice said.

"Yeah... uh, mind if we come in?" Falco asked.

"Hmm... sure!" the voice responded. After a few seconds, a giant pipe poked through the dark cloud right in front of the trio. "Just crawl through this very complex maze of pipes and you're in!"

"Waa? Why don't you just open the door?" Wario inquired.

"Door machine broke," the voice claimed.

"Understandable, have a nice day," Waluigi said before climbing into the pipe.


Toad was reading a book called "Mario Story", rocking back and forth in a, well, rocking chair, enjoying the peace and quiet from the Jack family's absence.

"That Kolorado guy seems like a moron," Toad commented. "Come on, risking your life for some treasure is just plain dumb! Just like how those weirdo friends of mine decided that climbing that breadstalk was somehow a good idea." Toad continued reading and rocking... until a certain knight sneaked his way behind the mushroom person.

~The Rival from Shovel Knight starts to play~

"How dare you maniacs do such a thing!" Shovel Knight shouted. Toad jumped right out of his chair and threw his book into the air before turning to the blue knight. "I offer you my assistance, yet all you do is knock me out and steal my shovel! What kind of scoundrels are you?!" Shovel Knight then grabbed onto his trusty shovel and ran for Toad, who fled in response.

"Hey, it wasn't my idea! It was Wario's!" Toad shrieked.


~The Rival stops as Mansion (Dark Hallways) from Luigi's Mansion starts~

Falco, Wario, and Waluigi were crawling out of the other end of the pipe maze they were forced to go through. Falco came out just fine, but Wario ended up crushing Waluigi in the process of getting out. While those two dealt with each other, Falco took in the surrounding area, a dark yet impressively long hallway, with golden walls and rare paintings scattered all over the place. A Malleo look-a-like appeared out of thin air right in front of the trio, bowing to them as a greeting.

"After the gang found a way inside, the friendly "Malleo Big" gave them a tour of the castle," the "mystery" voice said.

"Hah! I knew I wasn't just imagining that voice!" Malleo commented. "Looks like my brother was wrong and just lost a bet!"

"The sky works in such mysterious ways," Falco added. "And... is a stalker. I just realized that."

"Meh, who cares, let's get the grand tour going!" Malleo said. The four began to walk down the cold, dark, and dank halls. Wario and Waluigi looked at all the pictures that hung on the walls, most of them being pictures of Weegee, but some of them instead having Malleo, Morshu, and even Squidward. After a short walk, the gang stopped at a large door. Somehow, it opened by itself, sluggishly revealing a gigantic room behind it. They all walked inside, taking note of the over-sized furniture. "This place here is the ground floor's living room!"

"Sure is built a bit on the "too big" side, don't ya think?" Falco remarked.

"For me and you, sure! But-" Malleo said before being interrupted by the sound of some glass shattering. Spinning around in the blink of an eye, Malleo found Wario and Waluigi standing in front of a broken window, with an old record disc, a miniature golden object, and Sans laying in the window's remains.

"Just then, one of the windows broke, sending glass flying, which knocked some stuff down onto the floor," the voice stated.

"Don't blame us, the skeleton's the one who broke through the window!" Wario truthfully said.

"What's this gold thingy anyways?" Waluigi queried, picking the small gold object up.

"Oh, that? That's a hedgehog that lays golden eggs," Malleo answered. Waluigi took a better look at it, discovering that Malleo was right: it indeed was a golden look-a-like of Shadow the Hedgehog.

"I didn't ask for this," the golden Shadow muttered.

"Waluigi picked up one of the things that fell, which was a small hedgehog that could lay golden eggs," the voice said.

~Mansion (Dark Hallways) stops~

Suddenly, with a loud crash, the entire castle shook violently yet quickly. Everyone jumped up in response before another short quake happened, followed by a whole series of quick quakes and crashes.

"What's g-going on?!" Falco worryingly asked.

"Oh no! That's my younger brother! He must've heard the glass shatter!" Malleo stated. The crashes got louder as Malleo's brother approached, installing even more concern into the castle's visitors... aside from Sans, who was busy chugging down ketchup.

"Fee, fi, foo, fum! Malleo! That glass breaking better have been from those girls who stopped by and not that stupid skeleton again!" the younger brother yelled. "Or hell, even that Snake guy who follows those girls around would be better than the skeleton. At least he's easy to throw out. Also... why did I do that fee fi stuff? It sounds dumb."

"Suddenly, the younger yet much larger brother of Malleo's, Weegee, came into the room and saw everything," the voice said.

"Uh... you guys better go hide," Malleo suggested to the trio. It was too late for them to do anything of the sort however, for the second door in the room was yanked right of its hinges before Malleo's brother revealed himself standing right behind it... Malleo's giant brother, that is. Standing nearly up to the ceiling, Weegee took a few steps forward before he looked down at the floor to find his brother, eventually finding him standing in front of the mess.

... More importantly than that, he found Sans loitering, and even Waluigi holding the egg-laying Shadow.

... Yeah, he got pretty damn pissed.

"FUCK! OF COURSE IT'S THAT DAMN SKELETON AGAIN!" Weegee roared. "AND WHO ARE THESE FUCKERS, THINKING THEY CAN STEAL MY THINGS?!" Weegee then elbowed the wall next to him in rage, pressing a large, blue button, forgetting that it was there. As soon as a all the lights in the entire castle went from normal to red, Weegee realized just what he had done.

~Critical Health from Pokémon: Black/ White starts to play~


"SON OF A BITCH! WHY'D I EVEN PUT THAT BUTTON THERE?! AND WHY'D I LEAVE THE REACTIVATION BUTTON IN THE DAMN DUNGEON?!" Weegee cursed. The castle slowly started to fall down to the earth below, causing everyone else, aside from Sans, who had already teleported out of the fortress, to panic.

"In a fit of uncontrollable fury, Weegee smashed a button, which caused the floating castle to fall," the mysterious voice stated as Weegee let out a massive roar, bringing the gangback to their senses.

"WAA! LET'S GET OUT OF HERE!" Waluigi ordered. The other three nodded before they all took off for the entrance, with Weegee right on their tail. Just before the quartet was about to get stuck in a dead end thanks to the broken door, Malleo fired a laser beam from his eyes, incinerating a portion of the door just big enough for them to escape. They all jumped down onto a huge cloud below as Weegee tore the door down. Afterwards, the giant meme leaped at them. The four ran for the other end of the enormous cloud...

~Critical Health stops~

... But instead of Weegee landing on the cloud, he fell right through it due to his weight, continuing a plummet back down to the ground. The four merely stared right at each other before leaping over to the breadstalk.

"The trio and Malleo just barely managed to escape, both from the falling fort and Weegee's grasp, but they managed to pull through before they climbed back down the breadstalk... with Wario and Waluigi coming up with an idea on what to use the egg-laying hedgehog for..."


Night had fallen once again over the village and its surrounding areas. Trudging through the darkness in his Ponyta-drawn carriage, Lucario looked at the second place ribbon he had got at Oran Berry Fest for his giant 1-Up Mushroom.

"Not bad I say, not bad," Lucario commented with a grin before putting the ribbon away.

"... But at the end of the day, things didn't end well for the three brothers and their friend Toad, for they got into big trouble," the "mysterious" voice said. Lucario instantly realized just what the "sky" meant, mushed the single Ponyta to go faster. The Ponyta started running so fast that all four of its legs seemed as though they were spinning around in circles. It only took a few seconds for the two to arrive at Lucario's house...

~Tiny Wario from Wario Land 2 starts to play~

... finding the village's entire police force had surrounded the entire establishment, demanding that the three brothers and Toad come out of the house for numerous crimes, but most notably for illegally selling golden eggs.

... And then there was the breadstalk that still sat right in the pasture, the remains of Weegee's castle burning right next to the absurd and large piece of bread, Weegee's unconscious body that laid in the front yard, Shovel Knight chasing after Toad all around the house, the Big Bad Wolf O' Donnel chasing a Bulbasaur, a Charmander, and a Squirtle all over the place, Sans drinking all the ketchup he possibly could, and even the two Murkrow dancing alongside Fake Crash right on the roof.

... Lucario screamed to death. Literally.

Chapter Text

Episode 7: Dr. Wahwee

NOVEMBER 15th, 2016

~Stonecarving City from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, and Duck Hunt Dog were in the Wario Bros.' room. Wario was playing Mega Man 2 while everyone else watched him.

"Waa, I can't believe R.O.B. wouldn't accept our book," Waluigi complained.

"Of course he wouldn't accept it. You guys wrote that thing in two minutes and didn't even bother to spellcheck it or anything," Duck Hunt Dog pointed out.

"Hah! Take that, Bubble Man!" Wario cheered, ignoring his friend's comment while waving his NES controller high in the air.

"You still can't beat Air Man though," Lucario taunted as he barged into the room.

"Like you could do any better, flea bag!" Wario shouted. "And that was a horrible reference, by the way! Now what are you doing in here?!"

"Master Hand wanted me to tell you guys that E. Gadd's coming up a plan on invading Weegee's fortress, and you guys are apparently going to be a part of the, what he apparently calls, the "leading force". Guess that means you three are going to be the one's leading the invasion or something."

"Ugh. Sounds wonderful, just wonderful," Waluigi groaned. "What are we even fighting for again?"

"Some stupid flash drive, remember? The one we summoned Weegee with?" Wario replied as Lucario left the room.

"Don't let this put you guys in too sour of a mood. Let's just get back to having some good old fun," Crazy Hand suggested.

"Waa, you're right. Now then, do I go for Heat Man or Flash Man next?" Wario wondered out loud. He kept staring at the screen, wondering which one to pick, until the speakers from the hallway turned on.

~Stonecarving City stops~

"Pathetic Smashers, lend us your ears," a voice boomed through the speakers. "I command you all to meet us on the Wily Castle stage or else... and be snappy about it, all of you."

"Who the heck was that? That didn't sound like Master Hand, that's for sure," DHD commented, leaping off the bed.

"I'm pretty sure it's that stupid Palutena trying to pull one of her terrible pranks again," Waluigi muttered as the others aside from Crazy got up and started walking to the hallway.

"Whoever that moron is ain't going to get away with wasting my time if this isn't something good," Wario replied as he opened the door. He, Waluigi, Falco, and Duck Hunt Dog wandered out into the hallway, where they heard footsteps approaching them.

"Gotta run, gotta run now! Gotta run, gotta run now!" Mega Man said as he raced past the group.

"Quick everybody!" Falco said. "Follow Mega Man!" Wario, Waluigi, and Falco then, through some sort of messed up logic, morphed into 8-Bit, Mega Man styled sprites as they chased after him. Duck Hunt Dog merely made a confused look as he crawled after them. A few seconds afterwards, Crazy Hand peeked out of the door, making sure he was all alone. He then slammed the door and dug his index finger around the dark and smelly area underneath Wario's bed. He soon dug out the remote for Wario and Waluigi's TV and changed the channel to the Channel 209.

"Next on Channel 209, we have Smash World's Most Wanted! On today's episode, we'll be discussing the three most recent criminals to rise from out of nowhere: a trio of scammers named Ed, Edd, and Eddy!"" the TV boomed.

"This... was not supposed to be on the TV right now," Crazy muttered. "Oh well, all I was going to do was jokingly state that I enjoyed whatever was on TV anyways, regardless of its mediocre quality." The giant hand then floated his way out of the room, heading to the Wily's Castle stage.


Nearly every inhabitant of the Smasher's Palace had gathered around the stage they were told to meet up at. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Duck Hunt Dog, and Mega Man were the second to last ones to arrive on the scene. Everyone kept talking about random stuff to each other as the gang of five tried to squeeze their way into the crowd.

"Alright, alright, who's the punk who forced us here and why did they force us to come here in the first place?" Wario asked.

"Yeah, who's wasting our valuable time?!" Waluigi added.

"That's what we'd like to know. Everyone's here and has no clue as to what's going on," Meta Knight pointed out. Wario groaned for a bit before getting an idea. Digging into his overall's pockets, he pulled out a megaphone and brought it up to his mouth.

"HEY! WHO'S THE LOSER WHO DRAGGED US OUT HERE?!" the yellow idiot screamed into the megaphone. Nearly everyone covered their ears as the sound waves traveled all around the entire grounds. As soon as Wario was finished screaming, Master Hand floated over to chew him out. But before he could say a single letter, someone else spoke up.

~Stage Select from Mega Man 2 starts to play~

"You loud buffoon! I'm the one who dragged you out here!" the voice bellowed from the castle replica of the stage. Seconds afterwards, a lone figure broke through the left eye of the skull part of the high-tech fortress and flew over towards the Smashers and company.

"Weegee!" Wario shouted, recognizing the incoming figure.

"Hey! You forgot about me!" another voice replied to Weegee as another figure, this one riding in a hovering mech, broke through the skull's right eye and flew after him. Only Mega Man and Elec Man immediately recognized the second figure.

"Wily?!" Mega Man shouted, readying his arm cannon.

"Put that thing down Mega Man! I have a bomb ready that could blow this whole place to smithereens! You wouldn't want that, would you?!" Wily threatened, showing off the bomb. The robot sighed, deciding to unarm himself.

~Stage Select stops as Bass's theme from Mega Man 7 starts~

"Either way, hello again, idiotic wastes!" Weegee insulted to the whole crowd. "Say hello to my new ally, the brilliant Dr. Albert Wily!"

"Hi!" Falco greeted the old man. Wily chuckled at Falco's stupidity while everyone else sans Wario, Waluigi, and Sans groaned.

"Falco, you do realize that he didn't mean for you to literally greet that maniac, right?" Lucario asked the idiotic space bird.

"Is this seriously all you came here for? Just to let us know that you're working with Wily?" Master Hand wondered.

"Oh no, that was just one of three reasons," Weegee answered. "Speaking of, let's get the second reason out of the way Wily."

"Right, of course. Elec Man! Come here!" Wily ordered. The Robot Master obeyed, teleporting right between the crowd and the two villains.

"I know what you want, but the contract's still got me stuck on the side of these losers," Elec Man pointed out, whipping out a contract that Master Hand forced him to sign before the fourth Smash tournament began. Wily then pulled out a laser gun and shot a blast of green energy at the contract, vaporizing the paper upon impact.

"Too bad that contract's null and void now!" Wily chuckled. Elec Man smirked as he walked over to the villains' side.

"Hey! That contract's not void just because you vaporized it!" Master Hand yelled.

"No one cares, you severed hand! Now then, let's get the biggest and final reason we came here out of the way!" Wily stated, messing around with the controls of his mech as Weegee and Elec Man walked away from the scene.

"Hold up! Get back here you two! FREEZE!" Master Hand ordered, curling up into a fist before charging for the two bad guys.

~Bass's theme stops as Stage Select 2 from Mega Man X starts~

Just as Master Hand was about to knock down Weegee and Elec Man, a larger ray gun popped out of Wily's mech and fired an ice beam at the giant hand, encasing him in a frozen prison. Most of the Smashers charged forward, but they all moved to a halt as soon as Wily pulled the bomb out, reminding them just what could happen if they upset the two baddies. Weegee and Elec Man turned back towards the Smashers as a robotic hand appeared and picked up Master Hand.

"Oh, the sheer irony of Master Hand's last word. It's pretty amusing," Weegee teased, snickering a bit. "Now then, would you like to take the honor of explaining our plan to them, Albert?"

"Gladly," the mad scientist replied. "You see, Weegee and I have a mind-control device in the works. And... actually, I think you all can get the picture from that alone. Hopefully you're smart enough to piece things together."

"Wait, why doesn't Weegee just use his virus to take over Master Hand's mind then?" Wario questioned, actually making a good point.

"Because that would be too easy," Weegee answered.

"But hey, you all have a chance at preventing that plan from happening. Albeit a small chance, but still a chance I suppose! If you can beat us on Weegee's Island... well, you fools better get the picture." Wily finished before he and the robotic hand flew off. Weegee grabbed onto Elec Man and teleported back to his lair as Wily started laughing maniacally like there was no tomorrow.

~Stage Select 2 stops~

"WAA! Get back here, you loser!" Waluigi shouted, but to no avail, for Wily just kept on flying away until he was out of sight. The crowd began to talk about the situation, with some of them panicking and dispersing. Things quickly got loud and hectic, resulting in arguing and more people panicking. It wasn't after a small bomb, thanks to Mega Man's Crash Bomber ability, caused a small explosion, ending all arguments but none of the panicking. However, Mega Man was satisfied with just getting the majority's attention.

"Listen everyone! If you want to tag along with, fine, but I'm going no matter what! I'm going to stop Wily, just like I always do!" the Blue Bomber said.

"Yeah, and We're coming with!" Wario replied.

"Yeah! Weegee is our enemy, and Dr. Wahwee is yours!" Falco started.

"Hey! My name's not Wahwee, you fools!" Wily shouted from afar, interrupting the bird brain's speech.

"If they teamed up, then we should too!" the space bird finished while ignoring the scientist's comment.

"Well, there's some logic in that plan," Mega Man muttered. "Sure, why no-"

"That, and I'm pretty sure we'd be forced to go anyways," Wario stated.

"OK... as I was saying, sure, why not? You all can tag along."

"I'm coming with you guys, too!" a 64-Bit Mario said as he landed right on his back, having fallen from the sky.

"What the heck? It's a clone of me!" Mario shouted in surprise as the other Mario got onto his feet.

"Not just any clone!" the other Mario said. "I am SMG-"

... And that's when Crazy Hand showed up, punching the polygonal Mario square in the chest, sending him flying off into the distance.

"Well... that happened," Lucario groaned, shaking his head.

"Why'd you do that Crazy?!" Falco asked.

"That madman would've been nothing but a waste of space for our mission! He's not even relevant to Wahwee or anything!" the giant hand claimed. "We don't need him. With Mega Man with us, there's no way we'll lose!"

"Everyone but Mega Man's a waste of space for everything as is," Lucario claimed, earning a punch from Wario.

"Ugh... well, I guess since we have a decently-sized group, we need to get to Weegee's Island as fast as possible," Duck Hunt Dog said.

"And how are we going to do that?" Lucario wondered.

"Don't worry! I have the perfect plan on how to get to that loser's island in no time!" Wario replied.


"Scene changes!" the fat plumber said as he, Waluigi, Falco, Lucario, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, and Mega Man, found themselves right in front of Weegee's Castle.

"Wario, I have no clue what these "scene changes" you're talking about are, but you didn't get here because of them. You got here because I brought you over here by airplane," Professor E. Gadd said, standing right behind the yellow pest.

"Yeah, you fell asleep as soon as you were finished mentioning your perfect plan," Waluigi added.

"Oh," Wario said.

"That aside, I'll fly around the island to get a bird's eye view of the place. You seven are going to need to infiltrate the castle and save Master Hand," the professor said. Lucario nodded, agreeing with the plan as Elvin walked back to his airplane, the Sky Pop Deluxe.

"I guess it's time to kick some mad scientist and evil meme butt then!" Wario said.

"Halt!" a voice from underneath the ground boomed. Everyone looked for the voice's owner until the earth in front of the gang shattered. A black mecha broke out of the hole, jumping up into the air before landing, causing a small quake to shake the island. Inside the mecha was none other than the purple Reploid Vile.

~Encounter With Vile from Mega Man: Maverick Hunter X starts to play~

"Waa, I remember you!" Waluigi mentioned. "You're the robot that Weegee had locked up the last time we were here! And you sent some kid into the void too!"

"On accident! I didn't mean to knock him in there!" Vile argued. "But enough about that. I think it's time we got some introductions out of the way. My name's... Vile."

"Vile huh? You're name's really that sickening? Then why don't you spit it out then?" Lucario wondered.

"NO! My name is actually Vile! Vile the Reploid!" Vile said.

"... You're kidding me..." Lucario whispered.

"Now then... I know most of your names already, but there is one that I must make certain of... blue robot! You wouldn't happen to be named Mega Man, would you?"

"Why do you need to know? Do you work for Wily?!" Mega Man asked, readying his arm cannon.

"Working for Wily... no. I don't even know who that is. I have my own agenda... involving you, Mega Man."

"If you aren't working for Wily... then why do you care about me?"

It's because... because of your descendant in the future, Mega Man X."

"Descendant?! I'm a robot! I can't possibly have a descendant!"

"Mega Man, just let him finish," Duck Hunt Dog ordered.

"Thank you mutt. Now then, where were we... oh yes. Your descendant, he... can preform the Shining Finger Sword!"

~Encounter With Vile stops~

"Wait... what?" Mega Man calmly asked.

~Bouncy Wario from Wario Land 2 starts to play~

"The Shining Finger Sword! Or just the Shining Finger for short!" Vile answered. "You must know it, it's an incredibly cool technique! I asked him to preform it for me, but he was such an ass that he refused to do it! I figured since you are his ancestor, you may be able to show me instead! Unless you're an ass like him!"

"... So you're blocking our way, not because you're working with some bad guy, not because of your own evil plans, but because you want to see one of us do some trick? That's really it?" Crazy asked. "Wow, and to think you came off as intimidating and cool just a few seconds ago."

~Bouncy Wario stops as Outlaw! from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts~

"Be quiet, you dumb hand! Now, Mega Man, show me the Shining Finger, or else you will DIE!" Vile demanded, with the "DIE" being said in, oddly yet fittingly enough, CD-I Ganon's voice.

"I don't even know that finger move you're talking about! Now step aside or we'll take you down!" Mega Man commanded.

"No! Now show me the finger, you jerk!" Vile shot back. Suddenly, the mecha he was riding in, his personal Ride Armor, bolted ahead, charging right for our heroes. However, Crazy's index finger began to glow, almost to the point of blinding everyone around him.

"This... This finger of mine glows with an awesome power!" Crazy began. "It's gripping grip tells me to defeat you! TAKE THIS! MY LOVE, MY ANGER, AND ALL OF MY INSANITY! SHINING FINGER!"

And that's when Crazy actually did it. He unleashed the Shining Finger Sword attack. A large beam of energy shot out from his hand, nearly hitting Lucario as it sped towards Vile and his Ride Armor. The attack landed, blinding everyone's vision for a few seconds... until the bright light faded away, revealing that, though the Ride Armor had stopped moving, it and Vile were still completely fine.

"IMPOSSIBLE!" Crazy shrieked.

"Ha! My Ride Armor is immune to your Shining Finger Sword!" Vile boasted. "And don't think that just because you showed it off means that I'm just going to leave you punks be! It's too late for that!"

"Oh yeah? Well, you're going to be leaving us alone after this!" Wario claimed. The yellow pest then began charging up the power of the Dinner Blaster, which began to frighten Vile. "So long loser!"

"NO! NOT A CHARGE SHOT!" Vile shouted as Wario unleashed the true power of his attack, which you cannot grasp. The attack hit at full power, which completely obliterated the Ride Armor and sent Vile up towards the sky. "I'll get my revenge! You'll see!" A twinkle appeared in the sky as Vile went out of sight.

~Outlaw! stops~

All of the heroes just stood there, taking in what just happened. Mega Man was the only one who moved, transforming his arm cannon back into his normal hand.

"Let's move on and roll out," Mega Man commanded after a few moments of silence. The gang obeyed, all of them marching towards the castle that sat on the island... although Duck Hunt Dog noticed something off about the island.

There were fewer of the flowers with smiley faces on them. And some of the remaining few weren't smiling as brightly as they were the last time DHD was on the island.


"Wow, those dimwits arrived here much sooner than either of us predicted," Wily commented, watching surveillance footage of the gang of heroes wandering through the castle, almost of all them being separated from a trap that the mad scientist set up earlier. "It's almost a shame they'll never make it to us."

"Indeed, Albert," Weegee grinned evilly... even though it was still impossible to tell that since his mustache still obscured his mouth. "This time... they shall fail."


~The Ruins Of Lab from Mega Man Zero starts to play~

Crazy Hand was flying through Weegee's Castle, all by himself, looking for any of his friends. It wasn't until he found a giant door, which had a sign that said "WARNING: Here lies Yellow Devil's chamber. Intruders should not enter if they have the will to live. Thank you, now enter this room to get your butt handed to you" hanging over it, that he stopped.

"Hmm... a large door with a sign warning intruders of some monster within a castle that belongs to an evil meme?" Crazy thought to himself. "Oh boy! Somebody must be celebrating Halloween really late this year! I hope they still have some candy left!" The ever ignorant hand knocked on the door before it slowly opened.

~The Ruins Of Lab stops as the Final Boss (US) from Sonic CD starts~

As soon as the door was fully opened, the Yellow Devil itself was revealed to have been behind the door the entire time. Looking right at the giant hand, the yellow demon clenched its fists, readying itself for battle.

"Intruders... must be torn apart... remains... spread all over..." Yellow Devil growled.

"Hi there, guy in a weird Halloween costume!" Crazy Hand greeted, obviously not afraid of the monster. "Trick-or-treat!"

~Final Boss (US) stops~

"Oh, you're here for candy!" Yellow Devil said, running back into its chamber. "I'm terribly sorry for that! Here you go, you little rascal!" The giant beast then came back out and gave Crazy four buckets before it went back in, the door swiftly shutting itself afterwards.

"Yay! Let's see what candy that cool weirdo gave me!" the giant hand cheered before he looked into the buckets. In the first one, a large yacht was inside. In the second was a Zigzagoon. In the third was Sans. And finally, in the last bucket was a bunch of candy, mostly all of it being the best type of candy: CHOCOLATE. "AW YEAH! A YACHT, A COOL NEW PAL, SOME WEIRD THING, AND CANDY! Best late Halloween ever!"


"Waa? Where is everybody?" Wario questioned as he found himself all alone, wandering around in Weegee's empty dungeon. "Those guys got to be somewhere in this joint, but where?!"

"Halt!" a voice from seemingly nowhere boomed. Wario stopped and scanned the dungeon for the source of the voice.

"Waa?! You again?! Stupid Vile or whatever your name is, you really want to mess with me again?!" Wario asked.

"Ha! I'm not this "Vile" fool you speak of!" the voice responded as the bright light shined throughout the room, blinding Wario's sight.

~Air Man Stage from Mega Man 2 starts to play~

After the blinding light died down, Air Man was shown standing not too far ahead of the fat plumber. Wario's jaw dropped at the sight of the blue Robot Master, so much that it actually unhinged itself from the rest of his skull, forcing the moron to manually put it back in place with his hands.

"I am Air Man! The strongest out of all of Wily's Robot Masters and certainly stronger than that Vile!" Air Man boasted, raising his only fist into the air.

"You! I may not be able to beat you in that game you're in, but I will you in real life!" Wario roared.

"Please, you underestimate my power!" Air Man scoffed. "As I already mentioned, I am the strongest of all my Robot Master friends! You don't stand a chance against me!"

"Ha! We'll see about that, punk!" Wario shouted back.

"Still certain you can defeat me? Fine then, have it your way. Just note that you brought your defeat upon yourself!"

"Bring it, you hunk of junk!"

And thus, the greatest battle of Wario would ever partake in began.

~Air Man Stage stops with a record scratch~

... Who am I kidding, this isn't even close to Wario's greatest battle. It was already outclassed by his first battle with Weegee.


Waluigi has hiding behind a certain plant in the same corridor that he met Malleo in during their last invasion. Poking through the plant's foliage, he saw both Wood Man and Cut Man approaching before bringing his head back into obscurity.

"And I can't even begin to tell you how sick of it I am!" Wood Man complained to his fellow Robot Master. "If they remember me for anything, it's for that one stupid, overused joke and nothing else! That meme wasn't even that funny the first time, and now it's just irritating!"

"I'm going to be blunt with you Wood Man, it sounds like you're overreacting to all of thi-" Cut Man said before Wood Man interrupted him.

"NO, I'm not overreacting, you just don't understand! You don't understand what it's like to become nothing more than a bad meme! And you REALLY don't understand what it's like to know that said meme could actually be alive and further run your name in the ground!"

"Ugh, whatever, you stubborn heap of metal," Cut Man stated, running away from Wood Man.

"I'M THE STUBBORN ONE?! Last I checked, you're the stubborn one!" Wood Man shouted before running after him. Waluigi just sat there, taking in everything he just heard, sitting in silence for a few moments.


"Well, that just happened," Malleo commented, teleporting right next to the plant. "Oh, hi Waluigi! I didn't know you were coming over today!"

"What?! How'd you know I was hiding here?!" Waluigi questioned.

"Silly billy, your hat's sticking right out of the leaves! So's your nose, and basically every part of your body!" Malleo pointed out. Waluigi groaned as he stepped out of his hiding place, wiping off any leaves that got stuck on him. "What are you here for anyways? Hopefully a play date!"

"Waa... no. Your brother and his new nerd friend kidnapped Master Hand and me and some others are here to rescue him," Waluigi answered.

"Oh no! We gotta stop them!"

"Yes, yes, we do," Lucario said as he walked up to the two. "Now, do you know where Master Hand is?"

"Sure do! He's right ove-"

Just then, a loud crash filled the vicinity, followed by screaming. The three turned around barely quick enough to find Wario flying across the hallway, with Air Man chasing after him.

"Waa! Wario!" Waluigi cried out as he ran after the two, with Malleo and Lucario right behind him.


Wily and Tewd, the Weegee version of Toad, were in the castle's throne room, with an thawed yet unconscious Master Hand being strapped to their mind-control machine. Wily kept fiddling with the machine as Tewd watched the surveillance footage.

... Yet both tasks were difficult to accomplish due to the bickering between Wood Man and Cut Man.

"For the last time! I'M. NOT. OVERREACTING!" Wood Man screamed from the top of his... uh... well, not lungs, that's for sure.

"YES YOU ARE!" Cut Man shot back.

"Wood Man, Cut Man! Both of you need to SHUT UP! And go find those intruders while you're at it!" Wily demanded.

"Ugh, yes sir," Wood Man begrudgingly obeyed. "I'll get right on i-"

~Final Wily Battle from Mega Man 7 starts to play~

That's when Wario crashed into the room, breaking down a portion of the wall that had the number four on it. Tewd jumped out of the way as Wario nearly collided with him and the computer used to analyze the surveillance footage. Wario eventually stopped, slamming right into a wall as Air Man jumped in through the hole the yellow moron made just seconds prior. Wario jumped back up before the blue Robot Master slowly approached him.

"Impressive! Despite all of the attacks that I hit you with, you still stand. You've got quite the endurance for a human! I anticipated that you'd barely be standing for this long, with me laughing at your misery," Air Man acknowledged.

"Enough with the chit-chat Air Man! Finish Wario off! Wood Man, Cut Man, you join in on the action!" Wily commanded.

"You got it! Prepare to face my kung-fu wrath, fat plumber!" Cut Man taunted as he jumped over towards Wario. Wood Man and Air Man also jumped over, but before they could land, Wario jumped over Cut Man, landing right in front of the mind-control machine.

"Get back here!" Air Man shouted, leaping in front of Wario, who tried to run over to Wily, but was blocked by Guts Man, who teleported in just then. The two Robot Masters, plus Cut Man, surrounded Wario completely, giving him little room to even move. Just then, a loud crash boomed through the room as Mega Man flew in and landed on his back right in front of Wario.

"Huh, so Mega Moron decided to drop by too? Today just got a little better!" Cut Man stated as Mega Man got up.

~Final Wily Battle ends as Sigma Fortress 3 from Mega Man X starts~

The throne room's doors then slowly creaked open. Everyone turned and saw just what had entered the room: a giant Ride Armor prototype, with Weegee piloting it.

"You three step aside. I'll handle those two," Weegee told the Robot Masters as the Ride Armor approached.

"If you say so," Cut Man muttered as he and Guts Man backed away. However, Air Man stood his ground, not budging an inch.

"Hmph. I can handle these fools just fine, thank you very mu-"

~Sigma Fortress 3 stops~

That's when Air Man was interrupted.

Interrupted by a strange sound.

A sound that he wished he wasn't hearing.

He slowly turned to make sure he wasn't hearing what he thought he was hearing.


It was what he was hearing.

Mega Man tossed a Leaf Shield at him, the leaves flying right into his propeller. The foliage clogged up the propeller, immobilizing him entirely as pain spread all over. Time itself seemed to slow down for the Robot Master as the pain took over...

... At least until Wario punched him, sending him flying into the wall and knocking him out.

~Cannonball from Mega Man Zero 3 starts to play~

"Dumbass machine! You should have let me handle things!" Weegee cursed.

"Well, you can deal with us now, loser! C'mon, fight me!" Wario taunted, raising his fists as Mega Man aimed his arm cannon at the evil meme.

... That's when Yellow Devil broke into the room, bashing through the stone wall next to Weegee.

"Hey, you yellow blob! What the hell do you think you're doing?!" Weegee asked, clearly ticked.

"I'm here to give out candy to everyone!" the giant beast replied before it started tossing candy around the room as if there was no tomorrow. Crazy Hand and Duck Hunt Dog sneaked into the room from the fissure Yellow Devil made, walking right up to Wario and Mega Man.

"Don't ask about that guy and why he's chucking candy around," Duck Hunt whispered to the two.

... And then the rebellious Zero broke through the roof, landing right on top of the mind-control machine, screeching like a mad animal.

"WHO LET ZERO OUT OF HIS CHAMBER?!" Wily screamed in horror as Zero began to fire his arm cannon at all of the machinery in the room. While doing so, Waluigi and Lucario came in the same way Crazy and DHD did.

"And don't ask about that freak," Waluigi said as Zero leaped off the mind-control machine.

"GET HIM! STOP HIM BEFORE HE RUINS THE PLACE!" Wily ordered. All of Wily's conscious allies in the room charged for Zero... aside from Yellow Devil, who just kept flinging candy around. However, the rogue robot decided to fire a charge shot right at the mind-control machine, unintentionally freeing and awakening Master Hand.

"Wha-what's going on?!" Master Hand yelled as he escaped from the machine's grasp.

"DAMN ROBOT! You'll pay for th-" Weegee roared before Wily interrupted him.

"Uh, Weegee, I hate to break it to ya, but..."

Wily pointed to the machine... which was glowing red from overheating.

"That thing's... gonna blow."


Nothing but screaming followed.


~Cannonball stops~

Two Pelipper and a Wingull were outside, right next to the throne room's exterior. The Pelipper were trying to have a meaningful conversation, yet the Wingull kept chasing after a Geodude that had an Oran Berry, screaming "Mine!" at every last possible second.

... Then the throne room's exterior wall blew up, sending the two Pelipper and the Wingull flying, with the Wingull still screaming like an idiot. It wasn't until the three vanished in a twinkle that the Geodude was free to eat his berry.


~Veilstone City (Daytime) from Pokémon: Diamond/ Pearl starts to play~

The sun began to set over the slightly destroyed castle as E. Gadd's airplane flew its way back to the Smash Grounds. While Elvin steered the plane, everyone else was talking about their victory.

"I can't believe we got out of there just fine," Duck Hunt Dog remarked.

"I'm just glad that Master Hand's OK," Lucario said, stretching his arms.

"Speaking of, I never really did thank you all for helping out, so... thanks," Master Hand said.

"So... do you guys think Weegee and Wily are going to still work together after all of this?" Lucario wondered.

"I don't know about them working together... but knowing Wily, he'll probably come back to eliminate all of us now that we've gotten in his way," Mega Man said.

"Oh joy. Just what we needed, more freaks after us," Lucario groaned. "Actually, while we're on the topic of freaks... where's Crazy Hand?"

"Don't worry about Crazy. He's just below us," E. Gadd stated.

"Uh... WHAT?! What do you mean he's below us?!" Lucario inquired before running over to the closest window, looking for the giant hand.

... He did find him right away... in the same yacht he got earlier from the Yellow Devil.

"WOOHOO! WE DID IT!" Crazy squealed, rolling around on the yacht as Sans steered the boat, who was dancing around like some weirdo driving a steamboat or something. Meanwhile, the Zigzagoon from before was running all around the yacht, happy about being with his new friend.

"Aww man, I wish Crazy told us he had a yacht! It'd be better than riding with this flea bag!" Wario complained, observing the yacht from the next window over.

"WARIO, QUIT CALLING ME THAT!" Lucario demanded, all of his blue fur somehow turning red with anger.

"Woah! You need to chill man!" Duck Hunt told the angry Pokémon.

~Veilstone City (Daytime) stops~

"Did someone say my name?" the Robot Master Chill Man asked, having appeared out of thin air. Everyone aside from Gadd just turned and stared at him, wondering how he got on the plane. And that's all they did for the entire plane ride back home.

Chapter Text

Episode 8: Sanic Hegehog

NOVEMBER 16th, 2016

~Main Menu - Course Select from Mario Kart Wii~

It was a beautiful day outside. The Pidgey were chirping, the Sunflora were screaming... and that's why it was a perfect day for a race. A bunch of Nintendo characters and some non-Nintendo characters were sitting on a set of bleachers lined up right next to a race track that wasn't too far away from the city of Smashtopolis. A Lakitu wearing a headset floated down from the sky with a white flag in hand, ready to serve as the referee of the race.

"Welcome, ladies and gentleman, creatures of all kinds, to the first ever Super Smash Grand Prix Races Deluxe!" Lakitu shouted as he stopped right in front of the bleachers.

"Why'd he bother to put a pointless deluxe in the title?" a Waddle Dee in the audience asked.

"I dunno, I guess he just wanted to switch it up or something," a Goomba sitting right next to him suggested.

"Why I am bothering to do this for absolutely no pay, I have no stinking idea! Now, here's a butt load of commercials before we get started!"

"Oh, just get on with it!" a random voice yelled.

"Geez, fine! You impatient maniacs..." Lakitu groaned as he floated over to the racers.

~Main Menu - Course Select stops as Nintendo WFC - Course Selection from the same game starts~

"Now then, here are our amazing competitors today! First up, we have the blue blur himself, Sonic the Hedgehog!"

"Heh, I'm way past cool!" Sonic boasted, stretching his legs.

"And then there's the F-Zero legend, Captain Falcon, within his Blue Falcon!"

"Yes!" Falcon yelled with enthusiasm, pumping his fist into the air.

"AOSTH Dr. Robotnik!"

"Wanna listen to my car horn?" Robotnik asked the audience. Despite getting a bunch of nos and boos, he pressed his horn anyways, which... was just a recording of him saying "Pingas".

"Lightning Larry Luciano!"

"Meow..." Lightning, the very old snail from Bikini Bottom, wheezed.

"And, last but not least, the infamous Wario and Waluigi, inside their Wario Car!"

"Yeah baby!" Wario cheered despite the few boos that filled the air. "I'mma gonna win!"

~Nintendo WFC - Course Selection stops~

"Phew! That was a bit more of a mouthful than I anticipated! Whatever. Now that we have those intros out of the way, let's get on with the race!" Lakitu said, causing the audience to excitedly scream. Once the audience calmed down, Lakitu brought up his flag. "Racers! Start your engines!"

Wario, Captain Falcon, and Robotnik revved up their vehicles as Sonic started charging up a Super Peel Out and while Larry just sat there.

"On your mark!"

Lakitu waved the flag once as Wario gripped the steering wheel of the Wario Car, glaring at Sonic.

"Get set!"

Sonic looked back and gave the yellow plumber a smug look.


"Hold it!" a voice shouted as the infamous "Hold it!" speech bubble from the Phoneix Wright series popped up right in front of Lakitu's face. Shocked by the random voice and speech bubble, dropped the flag. The entire crowd stopped their chattering as everyone turned their heads to where the voice came from, only to see a clone of Sonic, seemingly drawn in Microsoft Paint, standing on top of the large rock that stood in the strip of grassy land stuck between the course's road.

~Sanic's theme starts to play~

"What's this?! A second Sonic?!" Lakitu asked in a very unnecessary dramatic voice.

"I'm the first Sanic Hegehog! That blue thing over there is the real faker!" the drawn Sonic claimed.

"Hoo boy, I can tell where this is going," Sonic commented.

"I, Sanic Hegehog, can tell where it's going as well! I also know what I'm going to do with you, faker!"

"This stuff sounds is stupider than that one time Falco and I argued over that piece of bread," Wario whispered to Waluigi.

"Wario, don't be crazy. Both of you nearly destroyed the entire palace for that bread, this is slightly stupider than that," Waluigi replied.

"Oh man! This argument between the two Sonics is getting rather heated, folks!" Lakitu said, floating closer to Sanic.

~Sanic's theme stops as Final Boss from Sonic The Hedgehog 2 starts~

"I've had enough of this nonsense! I shall free the world of this faker!" Sanic shouted.

"Yeah, and how do you plan to pull that off, faker?!" Sonic asked, jumping into a battle stance. The answer however... wasn't quite what Sonic had in mind. The MS paint meme rushed towards the starting line faster than even the real Sonic, ran around him a few times, causing Sonic to become incredibly dizzy, and grabbed onto his tan arms and dashed into a portal leading to the Green Hill Zone.

~Final Boss stops~

"Oh no, ladies and gentlemen! It appears the second Sonic has kidnapped the original!" Lakitu gasped.

"Quit stating the obvious!" Fred the Fish yelled. Having had enough of Lakitu's crap, leaped up into the air, moving at the speed of light and kicked Lakitu off of his cloud and into the portal before following him.

"Great, now the annoying hedgedog is missing!" Wario sighed while he and Waluigi got out of the Wario Car.

"It's hedgehog!" Tails reminded the plumber all the way from the bleachers.

"Well, it looks like us three have another job to do!" Falco said as he, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, Yoshi, Mega Man, Shadow the Hedgehog, and Mario approached the Wario Bros.

"Waa, that just makes things worse!" Waluigi complained.

"Yeah, we need to start getting paid for all this work we do!" Wario added. "So... are the rest of you coming or what?"

"Hey, if you guys are going, then so am I! We're a team, remember!" Crazy Hand said, giving Wario and Waluigi a thumbs up.

"I can't really just let Sonic get kidnapped by... whatever that was. So yes, count me in," Shadow answered.

"Fighting evil is my duty," Mega Man said proudly. "And I think it's safe to say it's Mario and Yoshi's duty too."

"That and the fact that Sonic and I have an Olympic game series going on. I can't afford to get go there without him!" Mario said as Yoshi nodded.

"Eh, I have no real reason for tagging along, I guess," Duck Hunt Dog stated. "I mean, beyond just being a good guy."

"Sounds like GengarFan3 didn't give you a good reason," Crazy pointed out.

"Woah, what did you just say?" DHD wondered.

"Oh nothing, I said nothing."

"Hey! I'll go tell Master Hand what's going on while you guys go after those two hedgehogs! Good luck!" Captain Falcon told the squad before he drove off to the Smash Grounds.

"WAA! Now let's get our butts in gear and find Sonic as fast as possible!" Waluigi shouted before he and Wario jumped back into the Wario Car. Wario started the ignition and started driving, grabbing and lifting Crazy Hand over his head while Falco grabbed onto Falco's arm. The quartet then drove right into the portal, leaving the rest of the gang behind. They all groaned before they ran after them.


~Green Hill Zone - Classic Act from Sonic Generations starts to play~

Green Hill Zone was tranquil as usual as all the animals hopped along the green pastures or swam through the blue waters. However, the tranquility soon began to fade away as Sanic started running through, running over any animal in his path. Eventually, the meme jumped on top of a rock that overlooked a decent chunk of Green Hill.

"I can't believe there's even a fake Gren Heel Zane! I can't believe this!" Sanic remarked, scratching his chin with his... round, fingerless hand I guess. However, something else caught the meme's attention. The portal connected to the race track began to swirl a bit faster before Lakitu flew out of it. The Koopa kept flying until he crashed into a wall made of Green Hill's famous checkerboard dirt. He got up and ran as far away as he could from the portal, leaving a storm of dust in his wake. Just a few seconds afterward, Fred popped out of the portal and ran after Lakitu. Sanic just watched everything unfold, drinking a nice, cool drink of some edgy Purple Flurp until Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy drove into Green Hill using the portal. Sanic leaped behind the rock, only peeking behind it as the Wario Car screeched to a halt. While the quartet got out of the automobile, Duck Hunt Dog, Yoshi, Mega Man, Shadow, and Mario also came out of the portal.

"Waa, this place looks lame," Waluigi commented before the gang started discussing about how to find and rescue Sonic.

"Hmm... looks like a search party that wants to rescue the faker..." the meme hedgehog thought. "Too bad they're too slow! They will never reach their friend in time! It's time to step it up!" The blue faker then ran as far away as possible from the rock, heading off to where he hid Sonic.

"So... how'd that fake Sonic come to be anyways? And where did it come from?" Duck Hunt Dog wondered.

"Hmm taking into account that this Sanic is a uncanny look-a-like of Sonic, just like how Weegee is an uncanny look-a-like of Luigi, plus the fact that Weegee came from the Internet, my hypothesis is that Sanic, just like Weegee, originated from the Internet," Falco suggested.

~Green Hill Zone stops~

Everyone aside from Crazy Hand gasped at the space bird's incredibly unusually intelligent hypothesis. No one ever anticipated Falco to ever say anything even remotely like that.

"Relax, he's about to say something stupid in about two seconds or so," Crazy told everyone else.

"Six plus nine equals sixty-nine," Falco said in a rather silly manner, confirming Crazy Hand's statement.

~Green Hill Zone starts again~

"Aw, I really wanted Falco to stay smart!" Yoshi pouted.

"Waa, who cares? Let's just find Sonic and get the heck out of here!" Wario demanded.

"Yeah. So, uh, what were you saying about us splitting up, Mario?" Duck Hunt Dog asked the plumber.

"I was saying that Wario and Walu-" Mario started before he noticed that Shadow was walking off by himself. "Hey! Where do you-a think you're going?!"

"I can take care of myself just fine. I don't need to work with any of you guys," Shadow said, keeping his attention fixated on the road ahead. As soon as he was finished speaking, he bolted off deeper into the green hillside, vanishing from everyone's sight in a matter of seconds.

"Well... Yoshi and I can go off together. Wario and Waluigi, I think you two work together just... fine, but I want Mega Man to tag along with you guys, just to be safe. The rest of you three can go together then," Mario said.

"No! I demand a new set of teams!" Wario growled.

"Wario, you're only demanding that because you don't want to listen to Mario," Duck Hunt Dog pointed out.

"Yeah, but that's a good enough of a reason!" the yellow weirdo argued. However, before any more conflict could start, Mega Man used his Super Arm ability to lift Wario over his head and ran in the same direction Shadow was headed. Waluigi gave chase as everyone else split.


~Green Hill Zone stops playing~

Fred continued giving Lakitu the beat down by the largest totem pole within Green Hill. The anthropomorphic fish from Bikini Bottom dished out a flurry of punches to the Koopa before landing a kick right in Lakitu's guts, which sent him hurdling over to the more mountainous area to the north. Fred jumped into the nearby lake and swam after him just as Shadow arrived on the scene.

"Where could that hedgehog be?" Shadow wondered, looking up at the blue skies above. As soon as he looked down at the base of the giant totem pole, he found the last thing he was expecting to come across: the green Chaos Emerald. As soon as he laid eyes on it, the special stage clear jingle from Sonic Advance 3 played, strangely enough. "What? The green emerald? Why is that here?" Rushing over to it and grabbing it, Shadow stared at the emerald before shaking his head. "That stupid echidna must've failed to keep those emeralds hidden... again. Ugh, I'm really get sick of having to deal with his mistakes." Shadow then ran back the way he came as fast as he could.


~Big Fishes At Emerald Coast from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

Wario, Waluigi, and Mega Man were marching through the empty beach in the middle of Green Hill. Even though parts of the mountainside that overlooked them were crumbling thanks to Fred, they didn't really care, focusing on finding Sonic.

"Not here either..." Mega Man stated as he came to a halt. "Let's turn back guys."

"Hold up! What are those?!" Wario wondered, pointing to two shining spots in the sand.

"Wario, I can't believe you referenced a meme that bad," Waluigi remarked.

"I'm not trying to meme! There's actually something shiny up ahead! Shiny like gold!"

"WAA?! GOLD?! Why didn't you say so?!" The two brothers then ran for the two shiny objects, diving right in front of them. Upon landing, the two found that the shiny objects were actually the purple and white Chaos Emeralds.

"Ooh! It ain't gold, but it's still gonna get us rich!" Wario said, picking up the white emerald as Waluigi grabbed the purple one.

"Can we keep the purple one? It looks WAA-nderful! The purple really makes it look so pretty!" Waluigi said.

"Waluigi, how does a single color make something better?" Mega Man wondered.

"Color is very important when it comes to beauty, you uncultured swine!" Waluigi berated the robot.

~Big Fishes At Emerald Coast stops~

"Hey! Hand those emeralds over!" Shadow demanded as he sped towards the trio.

"These aren't emeralds, you stupid punk! Emeralds are green!" Wario said while Shadow skidded to a halt.

"Those aren't regular emeralds! Those are the Chaos Emeralds!"

"Chaos emeralds?" Mega Man muttered.

"These ain't regular emeralds? All the more reason to keep them then!" Wario said. Shadow sighed before he snagged the red emerald from Wario's grasp.

"Gr... fine, take it," Waluigi groaned. He handed the purple emerald over, turning his face away from the hedgehog while doing so.

"What's a Chaos Emerald?" Duck Hunt Dog asked as everyone else showed up.

"A Chaos Emerald... long story short, the Chaos Emeralds are jewels containing the ultimate power. Collect all seven... and one could transform into their Super form. A form that, while temporary, is unstoppable. Their power can even be used to power machines up to become strong enough to destroy worlds with ease."

"So they're a bunch of MacGuffins," Crazy pointed out.

"No Crazy, those aren't McMuffins. Although I wish they were McMuffins. Can we get some later?" Falco stupidly asked, which resulted in Shadow slapping the space pilot in the face.

"We gotta get those things before that Sanic does!" Yoshi said.

"Exactly! We already have three, so we just need to find the last four. Now c'mon, let's get moving!" Shadow commanded. He bolted off before everyone else decided to split back up again.


The battle between Lakitu and Fred continued right next to a strange, metal building that sat in a small, green valley nestled between the mountains. Lakitu crashed right into the building's side, denting it before the Koopa fell back to the ground. Fred followed up with an uppercut that sent Lakitu straight up into the skies. Afterwards, the fish flew after him to continue the one-sided brawl. Once the two were gone, the electronic door of the building slowly opened...

~Dr. Eggman's theme from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

... revealing none other than the mad scientist himself, Dr. Eggman.

"WHAT'S WITH ALL THE RACKET?!" Eggman demanded to know. He stepped out of his newly built base yet found no sign of what caused the racket. "Good grief! First some screaming, fifteen minutes later, a landslide, and now, something crashes into my base! What's even going on today?!" The absolute madman scratched his head, still bamboozled by the ruckus, until Crazy Hand floated by him. "Hold it, giant hand thing!"

"Who, me?" Crazy asked, turning around while spazzing a bit.

"Yes you, you moron! Are you the one behind all the chaos arou... heh, ohoho, that's actually a pretty funny thought," Eggman giggled.

"What's funny? Is it me?!"

"No! Look, are you responsible for that dent or not?!" Eggman inquired, pointing at the huge dent.

"No sir, I didn't cause it."

"Hmm... but if you didn't, then who..."

"Say, come to think of it, why are you here?"

~Dr. Eggman's theme stops the infamous Hill theme from the Sonic . exe creepypasta starts~

"I... don't know. I... just feel like I'm here just because... the world wills me to. I could be anywhere else and it really wouldn't make any difference. My base back in Mystic Ruins was rebuilt not too long ago. I could've built a base like this anywhere else just as quickly... wait. Wait a minute. I think... the world willed me to stay here until the Death Egg's been rebuilt because... of nostalgia. I understand it now. The world... or whatever's controlling me... is desperate for nostalgia. It's even madly blinded by it at this point. It's happened to many before. Building a base here of all places wasn't the only nostalgic thing that... that THING tried forcing me to do lately. Just this morning I was strangely considering wearing an old outfit of mine that I haven't worn since the early 90's. Even weirder than that was what I was thinking yesterday... I was thinking about kidnapping Sonic and... reverting his eyes to a pure... black. And maybe even OK WHO'S PLAYING THAT MUSIC?!"

"Oh, sorry about that," Crazy said before he smashed a boombox right next to him.

~The Hill theme ends as Dr. Eggman's theme starts again~

"Man, that sounded... wrong," Eggman commented.

"Was it too sp00ky for you?"

"No! It reminds me of something stupid, that's what! Now, uh... what I was I ranting about again?"

"Crazy, what are you doing? Get over here, we need your help!" Duck Hunt Dog shouted from afar.

"Oh! Sorry, gotta go!" Crazy told the egghead before he floated back from here he came. Eggman did a complete one-eighty and stared at the giant hand as he floated over to the other end of the valley.

"Sheesh, what a freak. Looked like a talking-"

"PINGAS!" a Motobug that, weirdly enough, was wearing black sunglasses, screamed, shocking Eggman enough to force the old man to leap slightly into the air. Eggman turned, clearly annoyed at the Motobug for what it did.

"JIMMY! What did I tell you about speaking of that meme?! Get back in the base, ASAP!" the egghead instructed. The Motobug did as told, dashing right back inside, leaving Eggman all by himself again.

~Dr. Eggman's theme stops again~

"Hmm... I feel like I might see that freak again. Not sure why... but I feel like it's going to be on the twentieth this month... maybe? I dunno, that's probably just an inaccurate gut feel that's just popping up for... some stupid reason," Eggman muttered as he wondered back into the base. "Ooh, now I remember what I was ranting about! I was ranting about the power of too much nostalgia! I swear, just the mention of it nowadays drives people nuts!"

And then the door shut, leaving what else Eggman was up to a complete mystery.


Shadow was running through the water-filled tunnels hidden beneath Green Hill, dodging all of the Crabmeats and Buzz Bombers that tried to attack him, even destroying some of them. The trek through the water was short-lived, for he eventually popped out of the caverns and came back into the sunlight...

~Desert Ruins - Zone 4 from Sonic Lost World starts to play~

... where a Crabmeat, an Eggrobo, and Sans the skeleton were sitting by a table littered with fresh food all over it.

"Well well well! If it ain't Shadow the Hedgehog!" the Crabmeat greeted with a snarky tone in its robotic voice.

"Yes, that's my name, now what do you want?" Shadow asked, slowly walking over.

"We just want to have a short and sweet talk mate. Now then, how's about you take a seat for a minute?"

"I'd rather stand," the hedgehog calmly answered. However, all that response got was a series of snickers from the crab robot.

"Heh. Oh boy, you sure do sound so "tough" with that answer. Rather hardcore. Hehehe... even really edgy! Ha! Ahahahahahaha!" Crabmeat chuckled. He kept laughing as Shadow gave him a blank look.

"Sorry, but I don't have time for completely braindead idiots like you," Shadow stated before he zoomed past the trio. Crabmeat immediately stopped all of his laughter, enraged by Shadow's words.


"I'm only here just because I feel like it. Kinda feels like my purpose of the day or something," Sans stated.

"What about you then?! What's your excuse?!" Crabmeat asked Egg Robo.

"I just don't care about you or that hedgehog," the Eggman-like robot bluntly answered.


~Desert Ruins - Zone 4 stops~

Suddenly, Lakitu crash landed right on the table, snapping it in two and sending all of the food flying all over. Sans tried to grab some of the grub while Egg Robo covered his face.

"GREAT! NOW ALL THE FOOD I BOUGHT TO WASTE HAS BEEN WASTED! JUST PERFECT! I TOTALLY LOVE THIS! TOTALLY DOESN'T MAKE ME WANT TO PUNCH SOMEONE! JUST... MMMMMMMMM!" Crabmeat sarcastically commented. Egg Robo was about to point out his fellow Badnik's contradiction, but it noticed something much more concerning. High in the sky was Fred, who was hurdling down back towards earth rapidly, with one of his fists ready to deliver a powerful punch. Sans and Lakitu noticed this as well, triggering all three of them to make a break for it. "HEY! NO ONE SAID YOU LOSERS COULD LEAVE! NOW GET BACK HE-"


Fred's fist landed right on Crabmeat's head, which resulted in a massive explosion that could be seen from nearly every last spot at Green Hill. Wario, Waluigi, Mega Man, Falco, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, Yoshi, Mario, Shadow, Sanic, Sonic, and even Eggman witnessed the destructive event as it unfolded. The skies turned a dark red as the mushroom cloud loomed over the once peaceful hillside. Lakitu, Sans, and Egg Robo were sent flying, all of them eventually scattered across Green Hill. Once the mushroom cloud faded away, the skies turned back to their usual blue color... and the small area surrounding Fred was revealed to have been set on fire. Crabmeat has been entirely vaporized from the attack. Fred then ran out of the burning area, still wishing to attack Lakitu.


~Quartz Quadrant Bad Future (JPN/ PAL) from Sonic CD starts to play~

"Get back here, you stupid punk!" Wario shouted. He and Waluigi were using the Wario Car to chase after the dirty treasure hunter Nack the Weasel, who was riding in his airbike, the Marvelous Queen. While Nack steered the airbike with one hand, he held the dark blue Chaos Emerald in the other.

"Heck no! I ain't handing you this pretty emerald! I haven't dodged the law for so many years just to give up on my dreams of gettin' rich! You two can forget about this beauty and go find some other jewel!" Nack yelled.

"We're getting that emerald whether you like or not, cheater!" Waluigi screamed.

"Silence! I said it once already and I'm not saying it again! You fools can't take down the great Nack the Weasel! Or Fang the Sniper! Or... bah, forget it. Just call me Fang the Weasel for now on. It sounds a lot better," Fang stated before turning to the "screen". "And that includes anyone else spyin' on me!"

"C'mon Wario, we gotta think of something, and fast!" Both Wario and Waluigi began to scratch their chins, trying to think of a way to catch up with a plan to catch up, but both stopped dead in their tracks once a bullet blasted into the ground in front of them. The two swiftly turned to the right, finding Sanic running not too far away from them with a "MLG" sniper rifle in his hands and a devious grin on his MS Paint face. The two brothers started screaming and ran after Fang even faster. Sanic then began to fire bullets like crazy, nearly hitting both of the brothers and even Fang with all of his shots. The dimwitted duo had to go up and down and all around to evade the bullets.

"C'mon... c'mon baby... I need a triple..." Sanic grumbled, aiming the shiny rifle right at Wario's head.

"What you need is to quit aiming that stupid thing at me, you stupid hedgehog!" Fang growled. That's when Fang decided it was time to take action. Pulling out his cork-firing popgun, he fired a few rounds of corks at the meme, one of them even hitting Sanic right in the right eye, causing him to slow down a bit, while he covered the damaged eye. Fang laughed until Lakitu crashed into him from the other side, sending him and the Chaos Emerald flying off the Marvelous Queen. Fred came seconds later, grabbed Lakitu, and tossed him right back to the mountains, Super Mario 64-style before flying after him again. While both Sanic and Fang were out of the way, Wario snagged the dark blue jewel before the two ran away from the scene.


~Quartz Quadrant Bad Future (JPN/ PAL) stops~

Sonic sat in the round strip of land that the Green Hill stage back at the Smash Grounds was based off of: the same dip, the same bridge connecting covering a gap to the left, and even the exact same loop-de-loop in the background. Rope laid around the hedgehog as he got onto his feet, stretching his arms.

"Gee, you'd think the rope he tied me up with would keep my down for at least a little while! Looks like that faker was too busy being stupid to buy proper rope! Then again, a little rope can't hold back someone like me anyways!" Sonic began walking right end of the path while the Wario Car, with both of the brothers and the seven Chaos Emeralds inside, with Sanic hanging onto the back bumper, was rapidly heading straight to the ground.

"Waaaaaaaa!" Wario screamed as the car drew closer, finally catching Sonic's attention. Alas, it was too late for Sonic to dodge it as it crashed right next to him, knocking him over. The Chaos Emeralds flew out of the Wario Car and all of them landed right on the blue hedgehog's body, feeling like giant pieces of hail as they bruised him up.

"No! I won't go down like this! I refuse!" Sanic yelled as he and the Wario Bros. "I WILL rid the world of that faker, and I WON'T let you two get in my way!"

"You two! What's going on and where are the emeralds?!" Shadow sternly asked as the rest of the search party showed up.

"This is my last stand, that's what's going on!" Sanic said. Suddenly, one of the Invincibility Video Monitors fell right next to the memehog. Sanic immediately took this to his advantage, destroying the monitor and gaining its powers before anyone could stop him.

~Invincibility from Sonic The Hedgehog (1991) starts to play~

"Everyone, make a break for it! We can't harm him in this state!" Shadow ordered. The search party split up as fast as they could, leaving Sanic to chase after them.

... Or, at least, that's what WOULD have happened if Sonic wasn't there.

"Hold it! Hold everything!" Sonic demanded. Everyone stopped dead in their tracks and rotated towards the original hedgehog, who was standing, ready to fight. "Alright, you knockoff knucklehead. If you want to get rid of me so badly, why don't you take me on first? A battle between the blue hedgehogs."

"Sounds great!" the memehog replied as he ran straight for Sonic. "But if you wanted to come out of this alive, you should asked before I became immortal!"

~Invincibility stops~

But just Sanic was about to collide with Sonic, a bright light emitted from the real hedgehog's body, blinding the small area. Everyone in Green Hill could see the blinding lights. Even Fred stopped beating up Lakitu to pay attention to the light... even though it burned his eyes, causing him to scream "MY EYES!", allowing Lakitu to escape and finally end the one-sided battle between the two. Once the light died down, Sanic lost his invincibility...

~Open Your Heart from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

... and it was revealed that, using the Chaos Emeralds, Sonic had entered his golden Super form.

"This is what I was talking about! This is the power of the Chaos Emeralds!" Shadow told the search party.

"Oh..." Sanic muttered. Sonic smirked, happy that not only had the tides have turned, but how even Sanic realized it. With fighting no longer being an option, the MS Paint hedgehog looked for a way to escape. Soon enough, Sanic did a quick Spin Dash and leaped off it the loop-de-loop.

"Hey, get back here!" Sonic ordered, flying after the memehog. Sanic rolled around at the speed of sound through the loop-de-loop and ran through the thin strip of grassy land that followed as Sonic kept flying ahead, slowly catching up. Sanic noticed this and speed up even more, somehow starting to gain distance from the real Sonic. Sonic decided it was time to step it up as well and started flying faster, though all it did was stop Sanic from gaining any more distance. The chase continued for only a few moments longer until Sanic tried to jump over a set of spikes yet failed, bouncing back and reeling in pain as Sonic hurdled close. Just as the fake hedgehog was about to touch the ground, Sonic finally caught up and, deciding to not give the faker "mercy invincibility", instead gave Sanic a superpowered uppercut, sending him flying all the way out of Green Hill Zone.

~Open Your Heart stops~

"Waa! About time that loser got taken care of!" Wario complained as Sonic flew back to the search party.

"At least it's all over now," Duck Hunt Dog replied.

"Hey, I suppose you guys deserve a thanks from me. You know, for going out your way and all to save me," Sonic stated, transforming back to normal, the seven Chaos Emeralds flying off, all of them leaving Green Hill.

"And now we need to find all of the emeralds and make sure they get put somewhere safe... again. Come on Sonic, let's go," Shadow said to the blue hedgehog.

"I'll catch up with you in a bit Shadow," Sonic responded. Shadow sighed yet turned around and ran after the seven emeralds. "So... you guys want to pose? You know, as a celebration?"

"Eh, whatever, sure," Waluigi said.

"Alright then everybody! On the count of three... one... two... three!"

Everyone remaining then posed, looking right at the "screen" right as the Act Clear jingle from Sonic The Hedgehog 3 played, with some words appearing on the screen seconds afterwards.

"Wario and Waluigi and friends have cleared Green Hill Act 1!

Score: Over 9000

Time Bonus: 15,2004

Ring Bonus: 0"

"WAIT! I just realized something!" Crazy randomly screamed, scaring everyone else.

"What, what's wrong?! Was there a poor jab at a fandom completely irrelevant to this whole adventure?!" Duck Hunt Dog worryingly asked.

"No... I didn't get to drive the truck..." the giant hand muttered. Everyone looked at him for only a few seconds before they began to march back home.

Chapter Text

Episode 9: Good Ol' Memories

NOVEMBER 17th, 2016

It was a slow and boring day for Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy Hand. With no brawls to be had, slow Internet, no video games to play, or even any memes to fight, the four were sprawled all over the floor in the two idiotic brothers' room, watching the weather channel.

"And finally, the forecast for the Unova region," the weatherman, Maxie, began as a map of Unova appeared behind him. "Rain is drenching the region once again... thanks to a bunch of stupid trainers and their stupid Politoed... again. Also those two genie things are still flying around... causing even more rainfall. Again."

"Forget this nonsense," Wario said, turning the TV off with the remote.

"Kinda hard to, it was the best thing from the whole day," Waluigi remarked.

"And we still have so much of the day left. What are we gonna do?" Crazy asked.

"We could go help E. Gadd get his flash drive back," Falco suggested.

"No way!" Wario denied. "We've been dealing with Weegee too much as is, and I'd rather be bored than spend my time with him again!"

"Waa, we could go through this "Book Of Legit Facts" again," Waluigi, who held the big book in his hands, said. "I think we stopped at the part where it mentions that some flower is the best girl or something."

"Maybe there's something in our drawers," the yellow moron said, quickly getting up before wandering over to his drawer. Wario swung the lowest shelf open and started prying through it. Soon enough, he started throwing all kinds of stuff out of it, including one of his hats, some of his 3DS games, a knife, a Sandshrew, Davy Jones's locker, and a Sunrise Katana.

"Is there anything good in there?" Falco wondered.

"Ooh! I just found something cool!" Wario replied. Seconds after, he dragged a slightly worn book out and walked back over to his friends.

~The title theme from Wario Land: Super Mario Land 3 starts to play~

"Waa! It's our old memory book!" Waluigi pointed out.

"Oh yeah! Lotsa pics of lotsa good memories are in this old thing, going all the way back to our childhoods!" Wario added, opening it to the first page.

"Tell us about the memories! Tell us!" Crazy squealed, opening and slamming the door on Davy Jones's locker.

"Alright, just stop with that!" Wario ordered. Crazy immediately stopped and floated back over to the other three.

~The title theme stops as Story Music Box from Yoshi's Island starts~

"Now then... our baby years..." Wario began, picking out the very first picture, which was of him floating on a large raft out at sea. "After some stupid shenanigans on that stupid island of those dumb Yoshis and hours of bickering with that stupid Bowser and riding the ocean's gray waves, I finally came face-to-face with our parents: Papa Wario and Mama Warina."


"Mama! Papa!" the young Baby Wario squealed as the raft approached a small beach where his parents stood.

"There he is! There's Wario!" Papa Wario yelled. The raft washed up on the sandy shore, allowing the two parents to pick up their child. "Isn't he precious? He looks just like me when I was his age!"

"Yes, but... why did he come on a raft? And where's his twin?" Mama Warina wondered.

"Waluigi showed up seconds after I did, in the only way he could," Wario added.

~Story Music Box stops~

"Wahooie!" Baby Waluigi hollered as he drove a machine with a drill sticking out in the front through the sands beneath his three family members, popping out right behind them before leaping out into the bright outdoors, wearing nothing but his iconic hat and a convenient censor placed onto him by 4Kidz, covering up his butt and his already uncircumcised pingas.

"Say, that reminds me... where were you during that escapade on Yoshi's Island?" Wario asked his bro. Waluigi started scratching his chin, digging into the depths of his memories as he tried to find the answer... to which he did find it...


"Waaaaaaaa!" Baby Waluigi screamed as he was falling from the sky. Soon enough, he crash landed right in front of Cranky Kong's cabin in the middle of Kongo Jungle on Donkey Kong Island.

~Bonus Room Blitz from Donkey Kong Country starts to play~

"Oh boy, the baby's here!" a slightly younger Cranky Kong exclaimed, having heard the crash. He ran outside to see the baby... only to be shocked to find Baby Waluigi instead of the expected Baby Donkey Kong.

"Waa! Stupid stork! Waluigi's gonna get you!" Baby Waluigi yelled, getting up onto his tiny feet. While Cranky Kong was lost in thoughts all alone, Baby Waluigi climbed into a wooden tank to hunt down the bird that dropped him there.

"Gee, my grandson is uglier than I expected," Cranky wasn't until the tank started moving that Cranky snapped back into reality. "Hey! What are you doing with my tank?! And look out for that tree!" The old primate then ran after the chaotic baby, flailing his arms around like an idiot.

~Bonus Room Blitz stops~

... only to forget it just a mere second later.

"Beats me," Waluigi answered.

"You're a beet?" Crazy asked.

"I wish he was. At least then he'd have a purpose: to be eaten," Lucario, who was standing by the open door, said.

"Shut up, you stupid fleabag!" Wario shouted. "What're ya even doing here?"

"I'm here because you four are being surprisingly quiet. It isn't like you four monkeys to be keeping your mouths shut. I wanted to see just what shut you up."

"How about YOU shut YOUR mouth, loser?!" Waluigi suggested.

"We're listening to Wario and Waluigi. They're telling us some of their old memories," Crazy said. "You wanna join in?"

"No I do-WOAAAAH!" Lucario screamed as Crazy dragged him into the room before placing him right next to Wario. Before the blue Pokémon could even try to run back to the door, Sans slammed it shut and locked it from the outside, trapping everyone in the room. "Oh... GREAT! Just great. Now we're all locked in here!"

"I guess I'll call Master Ha-" Falco started before Lucario shushed him.

"No, I'LL call Master Hand and have him set us free. You just keep listening to Wario's ramblings or whatever." Lucario then got up and made his way over to Waluigi's landline phone.

"Well... whatever. Anyways... Waluigi and I went mining not long after encountering our parents and each other.

~Indigo Underground from Paper Mario: Color Splash starts to play~


Baby Wario and Baby Waluigi were running through an underground tunnel underneath Toad Town, looking for any valuables they could find. Baby Wario stopped as Baby Waluigi kept being a big show-off, flaunting his platforming skills as he jumped from rock to rock.

"Hey dummy!" Baby Wario called out. Baby Waluigi stopped dead in tracks and turned to see just what the hold up was. Baby Wario pointed to a small boulder that had cracks radiating golden light. However, both of them realized that neither of them brought any pickaxes with them. Both of the babies tried to think of a way to break the rock before Baby Wario came up with an idiotic idea. The young Wario lifted the rock and chucked it over Baby Waluigi's head.

"Man, it sure is a nice day in Minecraft Tw-" a Goomba that was waddling through the cave said before she saw the incoming stone. She could only let out a small scream before the rock crushed her and bounced off of her squishy stone then bounced off of a Koopa Troopa, a Hammer Bro., another Goomba, a Shy Guy, a Rex, a Ninji, and a CHAINED KONG. The consecutive bounces eventually granted the rock another "life" as it slammed back down onto the ground, causing a small quake through the caves. The quakes themselves triggered some of the floating bricks that formed a ceiling of sorts above to fall and break all around the stone. Moments after, a Broozer jumped down through the hole and readied a punch to send the rock into oblivion...

~Indigo Underground stops~

... but thanks to the extra "life", instead of the rock getting demolished, it instead stayed perfectly intact, with an intense pain going through the Broozer's fist.

"AAAUGGGHHH! O wtnoitaranegnillafretawnraelrtagilareftnacyhw!" the Broozer screamed. He ran away from the rock, still reeling in pain, and, soon enough, he fell down into one of the cavern's many bottomless pits, where he would keep falling until he would reach center of the planet. Once the Broozer started his lengthy plummet, Baby Wario and Baby Waluigi jumped over to the rock.

"Waa?! You gotta be kidding me!" Baby Wario groaned. In a fit of fury, the tiny toddler leaped onto the stone and started biting it like a rabid dog. The swift, powerful, chomps quickly broke the stone into nothing more than tiny pebbles, revealing a gold nugget to the world. The two babies cheered before Baby Waluigi snagged the nugget and ran off with it. Wario noticed and gave chase, laughing all the way.

"Waa... some really good memories we had in those mines..." Wario muttered.

"Yeah... good times," Waluigi added.

"Eh... it's too bad that was about all the fun we had back in those days. Everything else was boring without other friends."

"There has to be some other great memories of your childhood!" Falco remarked.

"Not really. Especially not after Waluigi was dragged off to clown college after he turned eighteen," Wario stated.

"Yeah! Those loser clowns actually thought I was one of them!" Waluigi complained. "It wasn't until the tennis tournament of 2000 that we reunited!"

"Oh yeah! That tournament!" Wario replied as he pulled a picture of the two brothers playing tennis out of the book.

JULY 20TH, 2000

Wario stood in front of the large tennis stadium that was ready to host the Mario Star Tournament. He yawned before slowly waddling over to the stadium entrance. Just as he was about to enter the stadium, a barely audible screech filled the air. Wario froze and looked all around him for the source as it got louder.

"WaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" the voice roared. Seconds after, Waluigi slammed foot-first onto the concrete ground, causing a small quake. As soon as the two recongized each other, silly grins appeared on their faces.

~Wario & Waluigi Court from Mario Tennis starts to play~



The two embraced each other with a big hug, Wario even squeezing Waluigi enough to throw the lanky plumber into pain. After their embrace, the duo marched into the stadium, laughing all the way. Though the tournament would end with a not-so-good (and literal) bang, the two brothers still had a great day that day. Once the tournament ended, the duo laughed all the way back to Wario's house that overlooked his own gold mine.

"We were still so happy that night that we couldn't even fall asleep!" Wario pointed out.

"Yeah, we haven't had many days as good as that one," Waluigi added, tugging on his moustache. "The day we first showed up to this tournament though... that one was just as good!"

"Because we all met each other then, right?" Falco asked.

"Yeah! Waa-ha-ha!" Wario laughed, the memories of that day flooding his brain.

~Wario & Waluigi Court stops as Tournament Registration from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts~

JANUARY 13TH, 2008

The third Smash Grounds to ever be built was filled with all kinds of creatures, from humans, to Pokémon, to... well, you can imagine it for yourself.

"Some of these people are... weird. And some of them are weirdly terrible," Lucario muttered to Pikachu as they sat away from the rest of the crowd.

"Weird? Like that guy speaking in some other language?"

"私はカザハナに恋している. 私は日本語を理解できませんが、私はそれを理解していると思うように人々をだますのが大好きです," Marth muttered in Japanese while walking by the two Pokémon.

"No, if anything I expected more people to talk in languages we don't get, so the weird part is that there aren't.  What I'm really talking about are people like that Red guy! Look at him!" Lucario ordered, pointing at the Pokémon Trainer and his three Pokémon. "He actually captures Pokémon and forces them to do his bidding! That's both weird AND terrible!"

"Didn't Arceus mention something about there being another world of Pokémon where humans actually catch and tra-" Pikachu began before Snake and Pit appeared, with the latter appearing right behind Lucario.

"There's something even weirder than that going on around here," Snake said. "Pit, tell them what you just told me."

~Tournament Registration stops~

"You mean the whole "I'm completely certain that by the time the next tournament comes I'll seem like a new person thanks to a new personality that has become a part of me due to the fact that there's not much to it as of right now?"


Nothing but the surrounding crowd's chatter and the sound of crickets filled Lucario and Pikachu's ears as the two Pocket Monsters took in what they just heard. While Pikachu was still taking it all in, Lucario finally spoke up.

"Yeah... that is... even weirder," Lucario replied. Right after he said that, Pit ran off, with Snake sneaking after him. "But despite that... there's something even weirder than him. This... Master Hand guy. And even weirder than him, and the weirdest of all..." Lucario made a one-eighty, looking at two certain individuals who were even farther away from the crowd. "Crazy Hand."

~Alphys from Undertale starts to play~

"Oh bread, oh bread, how I love you, ohhhh how I love you!" Falco sang, hugging a loaf of bread as he waltzed around the giant hand.

"Gee, he wasn't supposed to say that unti-" Crazy muttered just loudly enough for Falco to hear.

"Until what now?" Falco questioned, ending his little dance.

"Er, uh, I didn't say anything like that! I said that I'm sick of it just being the two of us. Everyone else thinks we're too weird!" Crazy partially lied.

"Oooh. Yeah, I wish someone else would join us," Falco replied. The two sighed before a car horn blared throughout the grounds.

~Alphys stops~

"WAHOO! OUT OF THE WAY, LOSERS!" Wario yelled. He and Waluigi were racing towards the Smash Grounds in the Wario Car, with Wario steering the car as Waluigi held up a sign that said "We're gonna win!" on it. Everyone aside from Falco and Crazy bailed out of the way as the duo swiftly approached. Soon enough, Wario forced the car to come to a halt right next to Falco and Crazy and leaped out with Waluigi.

"Uh... hi," was all Falco could say. The Wario Bros. stared at the the bird and the hand for a couple of seconds before Waluigi asked a life changing question.

"Do you two like... memes?"

~Multiplayer Results - Win from Mario Kart DS starts to play~

"I LOVE MEMES!" Crazy squealed, spazzing out a lot.

"Me too!" Falco added.

"Excellent! Some new friends at last!" Wario said with glee.

"Yeah! Waa-haa-haa!" Waluigi chuckled. The quartet walked off to the palace, happy to have met new friends.

"Oh, by the way... hands off my bread," Falco warned the brothers. Lucario groaned, watching the four walk away while Pikachu was taking a sip of some Berry Juice.

"I... have a very bad feeling about those two," Lucario moaned.

~Multiplayer Results - Win stops~

"Yep... that was a good time. Especially with the whole bread party we had that night," Falco mentioned.

"A bread party that I'd like to forget," Lucario said. "I'd like to forget everything that had you four involved that day! ESPECIALLY that stupid party. I can't even understand why you love something stupid like bread of all things so much to begin with." Suddenly, a hard and stale loaf of bread slipped from the shelf that hung above Lucario and landed on his head. "AUGH!"

"Ha! The anvil- er, bread, of irony!" Wario laughed. The other three giggled as Lucario threw the loaf to the other end of the room.

"You know, all this talk about us meeting you two reminds me of when me and Falco met! I think it's even close to fifteen years since it happened!" Crazy said.


It was a loud day for the second Smasher's Palace. All of the Smashers and the other inhabitants were chatting among each other as Master Hand was dealing with a hyped Crazy Hand, who was flopping on the deck like a fish.

"WOOHOO! IT'S THAT TIME, IT'S THAT TIME, IT'S THAT TIME, AND WE'RE STILL IN SB'S GOLDEN AGE, WOO!" Crazy hollered as he continued to flop around in the office.

"Crazy, I know you're excited about finally playing a role in the tournament, but you must calm down. You're making the biggest racket with your flopping and your yelling!" Master Hand stated.

"OOOooo... fine." Crazy floated back up into the air as Bowser started roaring his lungs out. Master Hand flew out the door to see just what the issue was, leaving the other hand to himself. Already bored out of his mind, Crazy turned the TV on and started quickly changing the channel, searching for Nickelodeon. Frames ranging from the weather channel, to the stupid channel that's filled with nothing but pointless ads, the Hotel Mario intro, a Purple Flurp ad, and the scene from Toy Story 2 were Hamm quickly goes through the TV channels appeared on the TV as Crazy continued his channel surfing. While the hand was busy, Falco quietly watched him from the office's entrance. Falco was thinking about how, despite Crazy's hyper attitude, the hand seemed like a nice guy and was thinking of a way to befriend him. However, as soon as Crazy finally found Nickelodeon, the hand turned around at the speed of a bullet and saw Falco.

"O-oh, uh... Hi?" Falco nervously said. "Uh... do you like..."

"Bread?" Crazy asked, holding a freshly-baked loaf in the palm of his... well, hand. A stupid little smile popped onto Falco's beak at the sight of the loaf.

"Do I?!" Falco then used his Falco Phantasm ability to dash over to Crazy at the speed of sound, just barely stopping in front of the godly hand. Crazy tossed the loaf into the air, which Falco proceeded to catch with his mouth, swallowing it whole. The two stared at each other until Crazy raised another question.

"Are you in the mood for flopping?"

"Heck yeah! Let's flop!"

~Choco Mountain from Mario Kart 64 starts to play~

And then they did just that. The idiotic duo dropped to the ground and flopped like the weirdos they were. While they were flopping like crazy, Fox was spying on the two from the exact same spot Falco was spying on Crazy just moments prior.

"Wha? Falco, what the heck are you..." Fox grumbled, finding Falco's behavior to be... interesting. "Forget it. I gotta see what's up with the roaring." Fox then trotted away from the room, letting the two flop in peace.

... Speaking of flopping, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy were now flopping as Lucario just stared at the four. Master Hand even had the door open, with Duck Hunt Dog, Snake, and Lucina standing by his side, yet the four were to busy with their flopping to care.

"Why are they flopping?" Master Hand inquired Lucario. Just then, Duck Hunt Dog, Snake, and even Lucina joined in on the flopping, making their way on over to the other four floppers. "And why are you three flopping now?!"

"I don't know, but what I do know is that the only reason I'm not flopping is because of the fact that I'd be puncturing holes with this chest spike of mine if I joined in," Lucario answered. Master Hand shook himself, the equivalent to shaking one's head, before he gave out orders to the floppers.

~Choco Mountain stops~

"Hey! All of you! Enough with the flopping!" Master Hand commanded. They all stopped their flopping, which drew out a sigh of relief from the sane hand in the room. Master Hand and Lucario left while DHD, Snake, and Lucina stayed.

"What were we doing before the flopping?" Crazy wondered.

"Oh yeah, our memories! We were talking about our memories!" Waluigi stated.

"Do you guys have any memories to share?" Falco asked the three newcomers.

"I... don't have much to talk about. What about you, Duck Hunt?" Snake responded.

"Aside from doing absolutely nothing longer than anyone else, not really," Duck Hunt Dog answered.

"Well... I have one that I think I can share," Lucina quietly said.

"Tell us! Please!" Crazy begged.

"All... alright. The memory is... about when I first came here."


Everyone who was contributing to the tournament in some way were all gathered outside of the newest Smasher's Palace, just like when the "Brawl" tournament started all those years ago. Chrom, Robin, and Lucina herself were the only ones who stood away from the rest of the crowd... aside from two weirdos who had yet to show up.

"I heard that the Hero-King himself is actually here," Robin said. "At first I thought it was nothing more than a rumor... but judging by all the strange creatures gathered here, I suppose anything's possible at this point."

"Gods..." Chrom muttered as he was chewing on a fishstick. "It'd be very... interesting to meet an ancestor." As for Lucina, she kept scanning the crowd, trying to find anyone who looked like the Hero-King. Suddenly, a slow yet still loud engine caught everyone's attention, including Lucina's. The source turned out to be the Wario Car, driven by Wario himself, which was forced to low own thanks to rules Master Hand established because of Wario's reckless driving from he last tournament. Eventually, the car came to a stop right in front of Lucina and the two brothers got out of it.

"Waluigi hates this! A three miles per hour speed limit! That's just crazy!" Waluigi complained to Wario. While the two brothers talked with each other, Lucina kept staring at Waluigi, intrigued by him. In a matter of seconds...

~Ha Ha! Yes, It Will Take Some Getting Used To! from Fire Emblem: Awakening starts to play~

... Lucina actually fucking fell in love with the lanky ding-dong.

"What incredible eyes... eyes like those can only belong to someone filled with determination. And that... dark moustache. And oh gods... gods, that lack of muscles all over! That... that's perfect! O-oh! And those..."

~Ha Ha! Yes, It Will Take Some Getting Used To! stops~

... Once Lucina had mentioned the part about Wario and Waluigi's arrival, she fell into a trance, thinking about what incredible features Waluigi had, not spewing out another word from her gaping mouth. Crazy Hand's Zigzagoon friend had snuck into the room and sat on Lucina's head as her mind still focused on Waluigi. Everyone else stared at her, waiting for her to go on.

"How long has she been in the trace?" Snake wondered out loud.

"About a minute now," Falco honestly answered.

"That's too long for me. We're moving on!" Wario said. "Crazy, wake that slugabed up!"

"Aye aye Captain!" Crazy screeched as he flew over to Davy Jones's Locker. He started opening and slamming the locker's door again, immediately bringing Lucina back to reality.

"Alright, that's enough!" Duck Hunt, who was covering his ears, said. Crazy stopped fiddling with the locker and floated back to everyone else.

"Come to think of it, Lucina makes me think of Marth. And thinking of Marth reminds me of the time I first fought him, all the way back during the second tournament... you know, back when he spoke that language of his," Falco said.

~Battlefield from Super Smash Bros. Melee starts to play~


A melee was set to occur on the "second" version of Battlefield. Marth warped onto the stage with some warp magic while Falco jumped out of his Arwing and landed on the stage. The two then stared each other down and got into battle poses, ready to fight.

"このエピソードの日本語が正確でない場合、私は謝罪する必要があります," Marth told Falco in Japanese.

"I have no clue what the heck you just said, but if you said that you're going to win this fight, you're dead wrong buddy," Falco replied. "After all, you brought a sword to a laser gun fight, and such outdated weapons won't last a chance against a gun."

~Battlefield stops~

Just a single second after Falco said that, he regretted it, for, somehow, Marth had managed to grab him from the other side of the stage, as if Marth had just dashed all the way to Falco, grabbed him, and dragged him back to where Marth was originally standing, all within the blink of an eye.

" あなたの傲慢な行動... 私は罰せられる必要があると言いますが..." Marth began whilst Falco struggled to break free from the grab.

"Hold up, how'd you grab me fro-"



Marth then slammed Falco down to the ground behind him, ready to take a stock of the space pilot's. Marth didn't give Falco any time to recover, for he did a small jump before landing a forward aerial onto Falco, sending him of the stage. Marth ended the assault with a larger jump, another forward aerial, an aerial jump, and finishing it all off with a downward aerial, sending Falco down to the blast line below, resulting in a lost stock.

"No one understood the first part of that fight," Falco said to his group of friends. "Master Hand had no idea how a grab like that was possible. Even... even Marth, after the fight, admitted that he didn't know how he pulled it off. And I'm sure that, to this day, no one has an idea of how it was possible."

"I... I never heard of this before," Lucina admitted.

"Same here. This is the first time anyone's told me about this," Snake added, scratching his chin.

"It gets even weirder. Even though Marth was capable of pulling that absurd grab for the rest of the second tournament... once the third one came around, he couldn't do it anymore."

"I still say that a ghost was responsible for it!" Crazy stated.

"Speaking of weird, unexplainable stuff... I have to ask Wario something. Something that I've been meaning to ask for a while," Duck Hunt Dog said.

"Alrighty then doggo, lay it on me," Wario responded.

"Um... well, it's about... the Subspace Emissary incident. You know, about why you even joined them in the first place."

"Oh yeah... that. Well..." Wario nervously began.

~Dark Skies from Pokémon: X/ Y starts to play~

MARCH 9TH, 2008

Wario was wandering around in the depths of Subspace, looking for Master Hand, who had sent him a letter, requesting him to meet the giant hand in the dark place. While the yellow idiot was re-reading the letter, Master Hand floated down in front of him... though Master Hand had the Chains Of Light digging into his body, which controlled his words and actions by... well, you know who.

"Ah, Wario! You finally showed up!" Master Hand greeted, catching Wario's attention. However, Wario was completely oblivious to the mystical chains.

"Alright Master Hand, tell me what this is all about, and make it snappy! I don't have all day!" Wario replied.

"Well... It's simple. I need you to do an... assassination of sorts."

"Waa? An assassination? Well... let's get the juicy details out of the way first. How much dough am I getting from this?"

"You aren't getting any cash from this, or anything for that matter. You're doing this for free."


"That's too bad, because I think your brother might want to disagree with that notion," Master Hand said as another Chain Of Light fell from above, with "Waluigi" attached at the bottom end.

"Wario, help!" "Waluigi" convincingly cried out.


"You're going to perform the assassination, that's what you're going to do. And once you do, Waluigi will be free from my grasp. You understand?" Wario groaned, taking in everything the giant hand said.

"Fine. Lay the rest of the details on me."

"That's more like it. Now then... there's a jungle north of the portal you came in from. Bowser should be waiting in the jungle's entrance with a new weapon capable of annihilating any Smasher in one hit, forcing them to transform into a trophy. Once he gives you the weapon, head to the Midair Stadium I built. There's going to be a brawl between Mario and Kirby there, with Peach and Zelda spectating. I need you to take at least one of them down with the weapon, get them out of there, and bring them to me. I'd prefer all of them at once, but at least one is all you need to get Waluigi free. Now get going, or else." Wario turned around and began to make his way back to the entrance, but then realized something important: the fact that Master Hand was ordering him to harm Mario, Peach, Zelda, and Kirby, four Smashers that Master Hand liked and trusted.

"Woah, wait a se-" Wario started, turning around before finding that both Master Hand and "Waluigi" had vanished. "Waa... whatever. Let's-a go do what needs to be done."

~Dark Skies stops~

"If I knew that the fake Waluigi was a robot I wouldn't have bothered to get involved," Wario finished.

"Yeah... that was a bad time for everyone. And to think it might not have happened if we hadn't listened to Crazy and his... well, crazy, future-predicting dream," Falco said, patting Crazy on the index finger. Suddenly, the room's door swung open, with King Dedede being the one who opened it.

"Hey guys! Master Hand finally got the Internet going at full speed again!" the self-proclaimed king of Dream Land told the squad before running down the hall, excited to use the Internet again. Duck Hunt Dog, Snake, and Lucina all got up and off of their butts, ready to leave.

"In that case, I guess we better get moving," Snake told Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy.

"Wait! Before you guys go, we should all take a picture to remember today!" Crazy suggested.

~World Map from Kirby: Planet Robobot starts to play~

"Waa! Great idea!" Waluigi commented, giving the silly hand a thumbs up.

"Yes. That sounds like a splendid idea... even though I have no idea how one takes these "photos" anyways," Lucina stated.

"I'll get the camera ready!" Wario said as he dragged his camera and his tripod over to the door.

"Why not just get your cell phone and selfie stick?" Waluigi asked his brother.

"Because people would whine about how things like selfie sticks make things age terribly and somehow make things awful as a result," the yellow weirdo replied as he set the tripod and camera up. "Alright, get ready and say "Wario and Waluigi time!" Wario ran back as Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy stood up. Waluigi held the book of memories up to his chest as Lucina nervously hugged his waist. Crazy was containing the urge to not fly around for the photo as DHD and Snake posed normally, Falco lifted a loaf of bread to the left side of his head, and Zigzagoon stood on its hind feet, pointing a gun at the camera. Wario lined up next to his brother just in time for the photo.

... Unfortunately, Crazy's determination to hold back on flying around faded just in time for the photo as well, resulting in the photo showing the giant hand knocking Snake over.

Chapter Text

Episode 10: Koridian Face-Off

NOVEMBER 18th, 2016

~Piranha Plant's Lullaby from Super Mario 64 starts to play~

Wario was asleep, dreaming weird dreams as usual. This time, he was dreaming that he, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy Hand were racing around Waluigi Pinball, chasing after and attacking Weegee, Sanic, and the ghosts of Cackletta and Fawful with Koopa Shells, Bob-ombs, swords, toasters, guns that shot out hyper-realistic bullets (whatever the fuck that's supposed to mean), and Jack O' Lanterns. Everything was all fine and dandy...

~Piranha Plant's Lullaby stops~

... until a slight yet still noticeable sudden movement woke Wario up.

"W... waa?" Wario yawned as he slowly opened his eyes and stretched his arms. Once he finished waking up, he looked down at the ground... or rather, the ocean that was seemingly miles below him as he flew over it. "WOAH! WHAT THE HECK?!"

"Hey, keep your voice down!" an old voice ordered. Before Wario could look for the voice's owner, another, more recognizable, voice spoke up.

"Wario, what's with all the racket?" Waluigi groaned as he too slowly awoke.

"Take a look for yourself!" the yellow dork replied.

"No, don't!" the older voice cried out. But alas, Waluigi looked down anyways and, along with Wario, screamed and incredibly loud "waa"... which woke up both Falco and Crazy Hand, who were also flying over the ocean with absolutely no control over themselves. And, of course, the too began to scream.

"WHAT'S GOING ON?! WHO'S BEHIND THIS?! WHY IS THE OCEAN BLUE?!" Crazy screeched, spazzing as much as he could.

"I'm the one behind this!" the old voice replied. The quartet looked down and found the voice's owner, the CD-I wizard Gwonam, flying on his magic carpet.

"What's this all about, punk?! What'd we do to you?!" Wario angrily asked.

"There's no time to explain! We're about to land!" Gwonam said.

~Panic Pit from Mario & Luigi: Dream Team starts to play~

Gwonam and the four idiots started to lower towards the sea at a rather rapid rate. The sudden drop only caused the four to scream ever more, said screams causing Gwonam to groan.

"Wait! Look up ahead!" Falco said to his three friends. Up ahead was the island of Koridai, which had dark clouds looming over it. The other three noticed and put an end to their screeching, givin Gwonam some sweet relief.

"It's Koridai! It's actually Koridai!" Crazy pointed out.

"Indeed it is!" Gwonam confirmed. "Now just stay calm as we land by Harlequin's Bazaar!" The five stopped their descent, but only picked up speed as the island got closer. Soon enough, the five picked up so much speed at it seemed like they'd crash right into casino. However, right as it seemed too late for them to come to a safe halt, they did, though it was an extremely sudden halt. Despite their stop, the five still floated a small height above the ground as the casino loomed over them.

~Panic Pit stops~

Suddenly, Arceus appeared right out of thin air, right in front of the floating five. Before any of them even had a chance to react to their sudden appearance, they used the move Gravity to, well, instantly increase the gravity to absurd levels. The five crashed down onto, and in Waluigi's case, into, the ground, with Gwonam ending up as the only one who didn't get hurt from the sudden gravity change. Just as soon as they appeared, Arceus vanished, leaving the five be.

"WHAT JUST HAPPENED?!" Falco demanded to know as Wario pulled Waluigi out of the dirt.

"Maybe that thing was one of Ganon's minions," Gwonam suggested.

"Ah, Gwonam! You've finally returned!" an iconic voice said. A figure in a brown robe swiftly approached the five, but despite the disguise, Wario, Waluigi, and Crazy Hand recognized who the being was. Once he got close enough to them, he brought the hood down, showing his face to the world and revealing that he was, indeed, King Harkinian.

"AH! IT'S THE KI-" Crazy Hand shouted before Harkinian interrupted.

"SHHHH! Keep your voice down, and especially do not yell out my name in public like that!"

"Why? What's the big deal?" Falco asked, stretching his wings.

"Most of Koridai has been taken over once again by the evil Ganon!" Gwonam answered. "This small area around Harlequin's Bazaar and the casino itself are the only places he hasn't taken control of!"

"Waa, is this why we were dragged out here?" Wario grumbled.

"Yes, mah boi. We heard about your battles with Weegee in those lands outside of this Internet realm we live in from some old pals of ours, including Morshu," Harkinian stated. "It's a shame he's leaving this place in favor of that Smashtopolis place, but I suppose one can't blame him for wanting to explore the new realms and such."

"So... what are we going to do?" Waluigi wondered.

~Wigglytuff's Guild Remix from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/ Darkness starts to play~

"Fear not, for we have already formulated a plan to take back the island and rid the world of Ganon forever!" Gwonam said. "While some of us trek through the island to Ganon's hideout down Goronu, some of us will head to an underground library hidden within the bazaar. I hear that someone found the Book Of Koridai once again just recently and placed it in the library. We can use the book to seal away Ganon once again, and hopefully forever this time!"


"Uh... no one knows where he is. He's been missing for a few days now, and so has Zelda. That's why we gathered you four here instead," Harkinian stated. "Now then, how shall we split up?"

"Hmm... I guess I might as well stay back and look for the book. After all, I can't fight well, I'm afraid," Gwonam said.

"I suppose I'll stay and look too," Falco added.

"In that case, the rest of us can go to Goronu," Harkinian stated.

"Hold up! You don't look like you can put up a fight yourself!" the space pilot claimed.

"Ohohohoho! That's what you think!" the king chuckled.

~Wigglytuff's Guild Remix stops as Live & Learn (Instrumental Version) from Sonic Adventure 2 starts~

King Harkinian then started performing three poses: Owain's "sword hand" pose, Eternal Sailor Moon's transformation pose, and Mario's pose from his Super Smash Bros. 4 artwork. Once he finished making those poses, he quickly threw his hand into the belly pockets of the robe and threw it back out, revealing his secret weapon: the Dinner Blaster DX. Not only was it larger than the regular Dinner Blaster, it also had two arms sticking out from the sides, both of them wielding pistols.

~Live & Learn stops~

Falco's mouth hung open as he, Waluigi, Crazy, and Gwonam looked at the marvelous weapon. Wario however pulled out his own Dinner Blaster to compare it to the superior version, quickly becoming saddened.

"Waa... yours is bigger than mine," Wario complained.

"Indeed it is. Now then, let's get this over with. This is going to be very rough," Harkinian said. He, Wario, Waluigi, and Crazy began to walk away from Harlequin's Bazaar as Falco and Gwonam approached the casino.


~Disco Train from Donkey Kong Country 2: Diddy Kong's Quest starts to play~

CD-I Ganon had really renovated the interior of the Goronu monument. The place was now a modern club of sorts, with all sorts of shenanigans going on. CD-I Zelda and Gay Luigi were forced to dance around poles in a seductive manner for many of CD-I Ganon's minions to see, disco balls hung from the ceiling, the ex-duke of Gamelon, Onkled, served as a bartender, and nearly all of the evil king's minions danced as the maniac himself loomed over the rest of the interior, with an imprisoned CD-I Link sitting next to him in a cage.

"At least it isn't boring around here!" the idiotic Link remarked, dancing in his cage.

"Shut up!" CD-I Ganon ordered. "Mutter another word and your face is coming off of your head! Understand?!"


"Good! Now keep your annoying voice down! And let me enjoy my tyranny!"


Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, and King Harkinian had trekked through the mountainous Koridian landscape. CD-I Ganon's old lair was already coming into view as they kept moving along to the island's coastline.

"Hmm... we really haven't come across many foes yet. Strange..." Harkinian pointed out.

"Waa, that's true. Where are all of those losers?" Wario pondered, scratching his extra thicc butt. After the quartet took a few more steps forward, Fat Mario popped out from the ground in front of them, stopping them in their tracks.

"Look!" the CD-I Mario said to them, pointing up ahead. Not too far away from them were hoards of Daira and Stalfos, circling around CD-I Ganon's abandoned headquarters, waiting for any possible Koridians to come by.

"It was only a matter of time until we came across this many opponents," the king said.

"What are we gonna do?!" Crazy asked, panicking slightly. Wario, Waluigi, Harikinian, and Fat Mario stopped to think of a plan while Crazy starting spazzing out. Soon enough, Fat Mario remembered something important, and dug into his overall pockets before, somehow, managing to pull out skateboards with rockets attached to them.

"Here, take these!" Fat Mario told the rest of the crew, passing the skateboards around to everyone but Crazy.

"Now this... this should help!" Harkinian stated.

~Can't Stop, So What... For Metal Harbor from Sonic Adventure 2 starts to play~

Wario, Waluigi, Harkinian, and Fat Mario jumped onto the skateboards and used the rockets attached to them to bolt off, with Crazy spazzingly racing after them. Once the Daira and Stalfos heard the rockets, they turned to the direction of the incoming morons, immediately spotting them. The monsters ran towards them and drew their own weapons, ready for a fight. Wario pulled out the Dinner Blaster and started aiming it at some of the opposing minions.

"Fire!" Wario shouted before firing a hot plate of spaghetti from the weapon of mass destruction. The plate soon landed right into a Stalfos's skeletal face, with a small explosion occurring upon impact, vaporizing the skeleton and some of its fellow monsters. Once they were wiped out, Wario launched more plates of spaghetti in random directions, most of them destroying even more of the evil army. One plate however instead blew up a chunk of CD-I Ganon's old lair, revealing that the random Guy Who Moves His Head was hiding within the forgotten hideout for some reason. Some of the evil minions noticed him and started to attack, but he fended them off by slamming his head right into them, with his short and bizarre theme playing in the meantime.

"Get outta the way!" Crazy shouted as he plowed down some of the opposing army, killing them. This also left an opening for the rest of the heroic dumbasses, which they took advantage of. The gang slipped right through the remaining army, flying out of the area at the speed of sound. With Harkinian and his rebellious crew out of the way, the evil troop decided to fight against the Guy Who Moves His Head instead.

"That wasn't so hard, was it?" Fat Mario asked.

"No, but I think the next part will be," Wario replied, pointing right ahead towards a huge cliff. Wario, Waluigi, and Fat Mario screamed their lungs out, but Harkinian had a plan. The king grabbed onto Fat Mario's left hand, stopping him from yelling and grabbing his attention.

"Everyone, hold hands!" the king commanded. The other three did as they were told, gripping tightly onto each other's hands just as they were sent flying over the cliff. Before they started to fall, Crazy zipped by and grabbed them all in one fell swoop, leaving their skateboards to crash into the ground.

~Can't Stop, So What... For Metal Harbor stops~

Almost all of the skateboards got trashed thanks to the crash, with Harkinian's being the exception. The king walked over to get it once Crazy put the four other weirdos down on the ground.

"What a buncha losers! Couldn't even lay a single scratch on us!" Waluigi said before the gang continued their journey to Goronu.


Gwonam was wandering through the newfound underground library, looking for Falco. The wizard passed by a few shelves, as well as Ordanoel, Sans the skeleton, and even a Piplup standing on top of a chubby Pikachu until he finally found the space pilot, who had a huge pile of books behind him.

"I take it that you haven't had the best of luck?" Gwonam inquired.

"No! All of these books here all just called "Monika"!" Falco replied, shoving a book into the wizard's face. "Even the author of all these books is called "Monika"! At this rate, we're never going to find the Book Of Koridai!"

"Oooh! The Book Of Koridai, you say?!" a cocky voice cackled.

~Library from I.M. Meen starts to play~

The weird maniac himself, Ignatius Mortimer Meen, or I.M. Meen for short, dropped from the ceiling and landed right in front of the two heroes, holding a book behind his back.

"The same Book Of Koridai that can put Ganon into an eternal imprisonment?!" I.M. Meen continued.

"Yeah, have you see-"

"If it isn't Ignatius Mortimer Meen! It's been a while!" Gwonam groaned, interrupting Falco.

"Why yes Gwonam, it has been a while! It's a pleasure to meet you again!" the old wacko sarcastically remarked.

"Um... yeah. Have you seen the Book Of Koridai anywhere?" Falco questioned.

"Have I seen it? Have I seen it?! I have it right here!" Meen maniacally chuckled. He then pushed the book he was holding right into Falco's face, revealing that his book was indeed the Book Of Koridai.

"Meen, you must hand that book over to us at once!" Gwonam demanded.

"Whaaaaaaat?! Why should I?!"

"Or else... you must die," Gwonam threatened in a cold voice.

"Woah! I never knew you were such a violent freak of nature, Gwonam mah boi! Maybe Ganon taking over this puny island will only do good! After all, it'll mean that maniacs like you will be wiped off the face of this hellhole of a world!"

"Are you saying that you're working with Ganon?!" Falco growled.

"Oh no! I'm just saying that Ganon's the real good guy here!"

"Then what's with the book, Meen?! Why won't you hand it over?!" Gwonam asked.

"Well, besides me obviously hating you so much, I just want to obliterate all the stupid books that fill this world! They're all terrible! This one here is the one I plan on destroying next!"

"Meen, this is your last warning. Hand over the book or suffer the consequences!" Gwonam demanded.

"No! If you want it so badly, you can kiss my as-"

~Library stops~

Suddenly, a hand tightly grabbed onto Meen's right arm, causing the evil idiot to make a small scream. Falco, Gwonam, and Meen looked to the right, finding that it was the legendary salesman of lamp oil, rope, and bombs, Morshu, was had intervened. The salesman then twisted Meen's arm, forcing the maniac to drop the book and holler out an earape-esque scream that sounded absolutely nothing like Meen's normal voice. Gwonam picked up the book as Morshu landed a powerful uppercut onto Meen's face of evil. The uppercut was so strong that it sent Meen flying out of the library, out of the underground, and even out in the skies of Koridai. He eventually fell down into Koridai's oceans, where he would get attacked by sharks.

~Goronu Shop from Link: The Faces Of Evil starts to play~

"Ah, Morshu! Thanks for the help, old friend!" Gwonam happily said to the shopkeeper.

"No problem, my friend. Anything for someone like you... and this friend of yours," Morshu replied.

"The name's Falco!"

"Now, Morshu, Falco and I are going to be heading off to Goronu to fight Ganon. Are you going to help us with that?"

"Yes, but you guys go without me. I'll meet up with you two again later. I have two new friends to help really quickly first," Morshu answered. He turned around and walked towards the Piplup and the chubby Pikachu to help them get a book from the top shelf.

~Goronu Shop stops~

"Well then, now that we have the book, we should get going!" Gwonam stated. His magic carpet flew in from out of nowhere and stopped by the two heroes, letting them hop onto it. Once they got on, the carpet flew out of the hole that Meen left behind, with Gwonam shouting out his most iconic words in the meantime.

"Squadala! We're off!"


Wario, Waluigi, Crazy Hand, King Harikian, and Fat Mario continued their journey to Goronu, the five of them walking through the wasteland known as Hermit Flat. While everyone else kept their focus on their surroundings, Wario and Waluigi kept trying to watch "The Sky Had A Weegee" on Wario's cell phone, though the video stopped every two seconds to load.

"Stupid Internet! Can't be bothered to be reliable even when we're in Internet itself!" Wario complained, shaking his phone.

"Now what are we gonna do?" Waluigi replied, twisting his mustache.

"King Harkinian! We have the book!" Gwonam exclaimed as he and Falco rode the carpet back down to the ground in front of the other five heroes.

"Splendid! Now we have an advantage!" the king replied.

"Yeah, and we still don't have any way to pick up the pace besides Gwonam dragging us around in the sky with his magic! That was annoying!" Wario pointed out. The group of seven tried to think of something, but their thoughts were interrupted by a loud honk.

~Encounter! Red And Blue from Pokémon: Sun/ Moon starts to play~

They all turned their heads to find a jeep pulling up alongside them. In the driver's seat was Morshu, who was now wearing a cool pair of sunglasses.

"Need a lift?" the badass motherfucker asked. Fat Mario got into the front while the two Wario Bros. took the backseats. Morshu then drove down the wasteland, with Gwonam and Falco following on the magic carpet. Harkinian chased after them with his rocket skateboard, quickly catching up with his allies.

~Encounter! Red And Blue stops~

Twenty Minutes Later...

~Metallic Madness Zone, Act 1 from Sonic Mania starts to play~

The sun was at its peak in the sky as a single Stalfos danced just like the skeleton puppet from the "Skeleton Dance" video, serving as the only "guard" for the area outside the Goronu monument. He kept boogieing to the loud music that seeped out of the monument... until Morshu ran him over with his jeep, breaking all of his bones and killing him, that is.

"Welp, here we are. The Goronu monument," Morshu said, pointing out the obvious. The four got out of the jeep as Falco, Harkinian, and Gwonam showed up.

"This is it Lui-" Fat Mario started before remembering that Gay Luigi wasn't there with him. He looked at his group of allies for a moment, quickly coming up with an idea. "Umm... th-this is it Waluigi!"

"... What?" was all Waluigi asked.

"Oh! There's a small crack here! Maybe I can peek through..." Gwonam said before taking a peek through the tiny hole. The wizard looked around as much as he could, searching for anything of worth. Nearly immediately, he found both CD-I Zelda and Gay Luigi dancing around the poles.

"Zelda! There she is!" Gwonam pointed out. Fat Mario pushed him to the side to get a good look at the princess, but as soon as he spotted Gay Luigi, his attention had shifted entirely.

"And Gay Luigi!" the chubby Mario added.

"Hey, can we just barge in and throttle some losers already?!" Wario impatiently asked.

"Yes, let's give them what for!" the king replied. "Want to do the honors, Morshu?"

"Gladly," the shopkeeper said. Everyone backed away from the remodeled entrance as Morshu started swinging his arm around in a circle. After a few seconds of swinging, Morshu threw his fist into the door, breaking it off of its hinges and sending it flying inside. The door slammed into a Daira, knocking them down and crushing them. Everyone in the building, from CD-I Ganon's minions, to the enslaved dancers, to even the king of evil himself, stared at the damaged entrance.

"Hey! DJ, stop the music!" CD-I Ganon ordered. The DJ of the joint, DJ MasterSeal, put a quick stop to the music, taking the phonographic record off of the record player and throwing it to the side.

~Metallic Madness Zone, Act 1 stops~


"Can it, loser! He ain't dying, and neither are we!" Wario shouted as the rest of the heroic squad entered the club.

"Oh hell no, screw this," Weegee, who was sitting on one of the stools by Onkled's bar, quietly cursed. "I'm not dealing with those morons today." He then teleported out of the club, shocking Onkled as he vanished.

"SILENCE!" CD-I Ganon shouted, shooting out lightning bolts from his hands. "MY MINIONS, GET THOSE FOOLS!"

~U.N. Owen Was Her? from Touhou Project: The Embodiment Of Scarlet Devil starts to play~

"Let's-a go!" Wario shouted, pulling out his Dinner Blaster as the army of minions ran towards them. While Wario was getting ready to fire, Waluigi, Crazy Hand, Fat Mario, and Morshu lunged forward. Morshu delivered an uppercut to a Stalfos, sending up into the air. Morshu and Waluigi jumped after it and delivered a series of tennis racket whacks and punches onto the skeleton. The two finished their assault with Waluigi slicing the Stalfos' skull off of the rest of its body, followed by Morshu smashing the skull to small bits with his bare hands.

"Somebody mind giving us a hand?!" Gay Luigi cried out as he and CD-I Zelda were getting cornered by CD-I Ganon's goons. Fat Mario came to their rescue, jumping on the heads of the fiends to get to his brother and CD-I Zelda. Once he got to the two, he pulled out a hot plate of spaghetti.

"It's your favorite!" Fat Mario said, shoving the plate right in front of his brother's drooling face.

"Spaaaaaagheeeeeeettttiiiiiii!" Gay Luigi yelled as if he was in slow motion. Suddenly, he shoved the entire plate into his mouth, spit the plate out, completely clean of spaghetti, and swallowed the delicious pasta. Not a second after, Gay Luigi began to levitate, crossing his arms and lowering his head. The minions surrounding them and even Fat Mario and CD-I Zelda backed away from the plumber.

That's when a mysterious voice said a mere six words.

"Smile! Sweet! Sister! Sadistic! Surprise! Service!"

"SUPER SAIYAN GAY LUIGI!" Fat Mario exclaimed as if he was finishing what the odd voice was saying. Gay Luigi then released an a bright light and immense amount of energy, blinding the monument and sending all of the cronies that surrounded the trio flying across the room. The light quickly faded, revealing that Gay Luigi's hat had flown right off of his head, with his hair now being long, golden, and spiky and a yellow aura surrounding him. His hat flew back down and touched his big nose before transforming into a green headband with his iconic L in the center.

"NOW THE TABLES HAVE TURNED!" Gay Luigi shouted. He then teleported up to the ceiling, looking for minions to fight. Seconds after, he teleported back down to the dance floor and struck a Daina in the back with a kick, breaking the beast's backbone. Other henchmen tried to fight against the powerful plumber, but all got struck down by a punch, kick, or headbutt that killed them in one hit.

"Take this, you undead losers!" Wario shouted as he and Falco were firing at a troop of Stalfos, Wario using his Dinner Blaster and Falco using his laser-pooping gum instead of his blaster for... reasons. While they kept on shooting, an Arpagos was flying right above Wario, ready to strike from behind. The dinosaur-like reptile dived down, but just mere seconds before its peak could stab into Wario's back, Crazy flew by and punched it, eventually forcing the creature into the wall and flattening it between the giant hand and the wall.

"Get the pathetic wizard!" a commander Moblin, well, commanded his small troop of ten soldiers. The squad rushed towards Gwonam, ready to pummel him to a pulp with their weapons.

"... I'm sorry, but..." Gwonam started as the troop grew close. Just before the pummeling could began, Gwonam used his magic to hold all eleven of the soldiers in place. "You're going to have a bad time. Let's obliterate these fools, Harkinian!" Gwonam then tossed the goons into the air, where Harkinian jumped after them.

"This time there shall be no mercy!" the king roared. Once he reached the peak of his jump, Harkinian pulled the Dinner Blaster DX out and unleashed a beam of energized cheesburgers, vaporizing the eleven goons. The king quickly landed back on the ground and ran over to help Wario and Falco shoot down some more of the Stalfos.

"Go away, you fools!" Onkled shouted as he grabbed a machine gun. He then started rapidly firing at the incoming Fat Mario and CD-I Zelda, the latter of which was charging up a magical spell. The two barely dodged the speedy bullets as the drew closer to the damaged bar. Fat Mario however soon stopped while the princess kept going.

"Hadoken!" Fat Mario shouted, quickly thrusting one of the iconic balls of energy from his hands. The energy ball collided with the bar, destroying most of it and knocking Onkled back a bit, stopping his gunfire. CD-I Zelda then jumped into the air and let the magic spell loose, unleashing a stream of fire onto the ex-duke. By the time the flame had died out, Onkled, while still alive, was completely charred. The duke threw his machine gun to the side and broke through the monument's wall, running away from the battlefield.

"HOW CAN THIS BE?! HOW CAN I BE LOSING?!" CD-I Ganon questioned.

"Probably because you're a lazy idiot whomst is only sending out your talentless lackies out to fight for you because you're a fool with even less talent than them," CD-I Link said in response. The evil king slowly and creepily twisted his neck and head, eventually staring into CD-I Link's eyes with his own, fiery eyes. Steam crept its way out of the demon's ears as his green skin turned blood red.


"Oh boy! This face is groovy!" the dumbass Link remarked, touching every single last part of his new face.

"How many more of these punks are there?!" Wario asked as he reloaded the Dinner Blaster.

"Not much more! Just a few more groups to go!" Waluigi answered.

"Leave the rest of them to us! Gay Luigi and I can handle them!" Morshu claimed. "Isn't that right, Gay Luigi?"

"Indeed it is!" the CD-I plumber exclaimed. The two memes lunged toward the enemy troops, landing right in front of them before unleashing a flurry of punches onto whoever tried to fight them. After a short while, Gay Luigi changed tactics, opting to attack by spinning like a tornado, plowing through CD-I Ganon's goons as Morshu kept delivering punches. Soon enough, the two managed to obliterate most of the minions, leaving behind only one group left.

"Allow me to finish them off!" Morshu said to Gay Luigi. The godly shopkeeper leaped high above the cowering survivors, pulled out one of his big, classic, and reliable bombs, and chucked it right at them. The bomb exploded upon impact with the floor in front of the survivors, knocking them all the way over by CD-I Ganon's throne.

~U.N. Owen Was Her? stops~

Once the explosion died down, the heroes and CD-I Ganon looked around the monument. All of the evil king's minions were either barely conscious, unconscious, or dead and the monument itself was almost completely trashed. The only other living being besides the heroes and Ganon that was up and on their feet was a Shy Guy that was on fire, running around in circles.

"I'm on fire! Put me out!" the Shy Guy demanded before the flames swiftly consumed him.

~Danger from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red/ Blue Rescue Team starts to play~

CD-I Ganon's fingers gripped tightly onto the throne. Lightning filled the room, nearly hitting the heroes. Cracks began to form on the floor.

"NO! NO NO NO!" CD-I Ganon roared as loud as he could. The evil king teleported from his throne and appeared right above the heroes, steam coming out of his ears again. "I REFUSE TO LOSE AGAIN! I WILL DESTROY YOU ALL, AND THEN ALL OF KORIDAI AND HYRULE WILL BE MINE! DO YOU HEAR ME?! ALL OF KORIDA-"

~Danger stops~

... And that's when Wario chucked the Book Of Koridai right into CD-I Ganon's face. The book quickly opened up and sucked the evil weirdo in.

"NO! NOT THIS BOOK AGAIN! ALL THESE PAPERS... I'M ALLERGIC TO THEM! IT BURNS!" the maniacal idiot exclaimed for his final words before the book slammed down onto the ground.

"Gee, if it weren't for the fact that I played the Faces Of Evil, I would've found that incredibly anticlimactic," Wario stated.


~Pokémon Center from Pokémon: Sun/ Moon starts to play~

The dark stormclouds that were looming over Koridai had finally dissipated as the heroes and CD-I Link, who still had Cool Cat's face, stood outside Harlequin's Bazaar.

"We did it! Well done, everyone!" Gwonam said.

"And thank you, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Morshu, and Fat Mario for helping us... even if we did force some of you into it," the king said to the four.

"Waa, just don't drag us over here in our sleep again. And maybe pay us if you're going to force us into anything else," Wario replied, with Waluigi nodding in agreement afterward.

"Don't worry, I promise to never do that again."

"Waaaaait a minute. How are we going to get back home?" Crazy pondered.

"Isn't it obvious? You'll go home the same way you got here in the first place," Gwonam answered, with Wario and Waluigi groaning in response.

~Pokémon Center stops~

But any and all groaning and complaining stopped once E. Gadd's airplane, which, for some goddamn reason, had a bunch of Ekans and Arbok flopping up and down and all around on the wings of the plane, landed right in front of the gang. Once it landed, Lucina rushed out of it and tightly hugged Waluigi.

~Pokémon Center starts again~

"Oyamaa! There you are! Everyone's been looking for you four!" E. Gadd said as he walked out of the plane.

"Even you came out here to find us?" Falco asked.

"Yes. Partially because Master Hand asked me to, and partially because I have some sort of contract with some "GregorFan3D" or whoever that states that, as a main character, I'm obligated to interact with you guys rather frequently," Elvin stated, pulling out the contract in question. "Now come on! We need to get out of here before more of these Pokémon sneak into the plane again!"

"So long! We'll make sure to visit you some time!" Harkinian shouted as Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy, Lucina, and E. Gadd rushed into the airplane. The CD-I memes waved goodbye to their new friends before the plane finally took off, taking the weirdos back home outside of the confusing as fuck Internet.

Chapter Text

Episode 11: The Great Howeegee

NOVEMBER 19th, 2016

Wario, Waluigi, and Crazy Hand were making their way to the cafeteria, wanting to get some breakfast. The two brothers were slouching the whole way there, tired from the madness that happened yesterday in Koridai.

"Yawn... I wanna head back to bed after this," Wario stated, scratching his back.

"Me too, but I have to stay up because of some dumb matches that need the Assist Trophy characters and I hate it," Waluigi replied. The trio of weirdos continued their way to the cafeteria, walking by Master Hand's office, which had the door opened just enough for everything inside to be heard clearly through the hall.

"Oh, so you're a magician?" Master Hand said from within his office, unintentionally grabbing the wacky trio's attention.

~Sina And Dexio from Pokémon: X/ Y starts to play~

"Magician?" Crazy quietly said as the trio stayed by the door to eavesdrop on Master Hand, who was on the phone with a stranger.

"Hmm... The Great Houdini? I think I've heard of you. You're from that one dull, boring world, right?" Master Hand asked the stranger. The stranger replied with, from the trio's distance, was some impossible to make out gibberish that almost sounded like trumpet noises. "I see. I guess a magic show would be good for the Smashers. We have absolutely nothing going on tonight anyways, so I guess we'll see you then, Mr. Houdini!" As soon as Master Hand put the phone down, the trio of pals ran all the way to the cafeteria as quick as they could.


~Sina And Dexio stops~

The cafeteria was nearly empty, for most of the Smasher's Palace's inhabitants had already had their breakfast. The only ones there were Falco, Lucario, Toad, and Chef Kawasaki, the former of which was stuffing himself full of loaves of bread covered with pepper.

"Falco, can you eat your food properly? No one wants to see you trying to swallow a whole loaf of bread in one gulp. It's disgusting," Lucario told the space pilot from a table away. Before Falco could argue with the Pokémon, the idiotic trio barged into the cafeteria and ran right up to the bird brain.

"FALCOAMAGICIANSCOMINGTONIGHT!" Crazy squealed with joy. Since Falco couldn't understand a single word the insane hand said, Falco spat out his loaf of bread, leaving the soggy abomination to lay on the table.

"Crazy, what the heck did you just say?" the bird inquired.

"I said that a magi-"

"Attention everyone: I'm proud to announce that a magician will be arriving tonight around seven to preform a free magic show at our very own auditorium! I hope to see you all there!" Master Hand's voice boomed over the intercom, interrupting Crazy Hand yet still informing Falco of what Crazy said in the first place.

"Woah! A magic show? That sounds neat!" Falco commented.

"Yeah! I wanna see some magic!" Crazy replied, spazzing out a bit.

~Dodo's Coming! from Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars starts to play~

"And you can, because Falco sure as heck can show you a magic trick right now," Lucario intervened. "He can show you how to make that DISGUSTING loaf of bread disappear by eating it already!"

"Geez, cool your jets, I'll take care of it!" Falco replied. He picked up the soggy loaf and shoved it right into his beak, quickly swallowing it whole. Despite Falco getting rid of the saliva-covered monstrosity, Lucario was still not pleased, which the four noticed.

"Why are ya still mad, loser?" Wario asked, tugging on his mustache.

"I'm mad because Falco only decided to quickly finish his food now instead of doing it when he could've done it before his disgusting table etiquette became annoying," the Pokémon answered, getting up from his seat.

"I was trying to savor the taste before I had to swallow!" Falco retorted.

"Waa, let's stop caring so much about this and get a move on," Waluigi suggested. Wario, Waluigi, and Falco started walking away from Lucario as the Pokémon and Crazy just sat there. Lucario then slid over to the giant hand with a big, nasty smirk on his face.

"Hey Crazy, you wanna see another magic trick?" the Pokémon whispered.

"Do I?! What're you gonna do?!" the hand asked with a joyful squeal.

"I'm going to make Falco fly through the air," Lucario stated before running about to Falco and kicking the pilot right in the ass, sending him flying across the room. The Wario Bros. let out a slight yelp before running after their friend as Lucario quietly chuckled to himself, proud of what he had done while walking back to the giant hand.

~Dodo's Coming! stops~

"... That was the absolute most deplorable magic trick ever, and you're the absolute most deplorable magician ever. Uncultured swine," Crazy Hand insulted, shocking the Aura Pokémon, his eyes bulging out from Crazy's surprising choice of words, especially the "uncultured swine" bit/. Lucario remained frozen from the shock as Crazy floated after his pals.


Most of the Smasher's Palace's inhabitants were gathered in the auditorium or were hanging around the concession area to get some food, all of them waiting for the magic show to begin. Peach and Zelda in particular were heading right into the auditorium, with Peach drinking from a bottle of Fresh Water that came straight from Hoenn.

"Why is everybody so excited about a magic show to begin with when a good chunk of people of creatures from most of our worlds can use magic anyways?" Zelda asked Peach.

"Probably because no one really uses they're magic to preform for people to begin with," Peach responded. "That, and probably because everyone's interested how magic works when done by someone from such a dull, lifeless, awful, pathetic, evi-"

"EVERYONE! THE MAGIC SHOW IS GOING TO BEGIN IN JUST A FEW MINUTES! PLEASE GET TO YOUR SEATS OR LEAVE AT ONCE!" Master Hand's voice boomed throughout the auditorium. Peach and Zelda ran down to the front seats as everyone else came in and sat down. The two princesses managed to get two of the front seats, sitting right in front of Malleo of all people, who somehow sneaked his way into the grounds without getting caught.

"This is gonna be great!" Malleo said to himself. As the auditorium got filled with more people, creatures, and nutjobs, the virtual YouTuber Ai Kizuna, sat down next to the distorted Mario.

~An Encounter from Pokémon: Sun/ Moon starts to play~

"Hey there, big guy! Mind if I sit next to you?" Ai asked Malleo.

"OK, but I have no idea who you are, and yet I find it strange that you're speaking English instead of Japanese, the language that, for some reason, I feel like is the only language you in particular are supposed to fully understand," Malleo replied.

"Oh! Sorry about that! My name's Ai Kizuna!" the girl replied. "And about the whole language thing... I sure as heck can speak Japanese, but I don't use that one much anymore. Not sure why you think I was supposed to know only Japanese though. Maybe you've been thinking of an alternate universe version of me or something! But who cares about that, we're about to see a magic show!"

"Yeah! A cool magic show! Let's watch it together, new friend!"

"Yeah! Yay!"

~An Encounter stops~

"Hey, be quiet up there!" Ganondorf ordered from a few rows back, sitting right behind King Dedede. The Gerudo tried to look around the king's big head, having difficulty seeing the stage or even the loud duo that sat ahead as he began to very quietly complain about the rest of his predicament. "It's bad enough that I have to deal with a fat penguin blocking my view, I don't need dumb kids screeching like a bunch of animals too." While everyone else were picking a spot, "Houdini" took a small peek through the curtains, analyzing the crowd.

~Mansion (Dark Hallways) from Luigi's Mansion starts to play~

"Hmm... can't see those stupid brothers or their just as irritating friends," "Houdini" remarked, stepping away from the curtains. "They must be somewhere in that crowd... at the very least, that idiotic hand's gotta be somewhere in there." Little did "Houdini" know, Wario and Waluigi, as well as Falco, Crazy Hand, and Duck Hunt Dog, were backstage as well, looking for the "magician".

"As I was saying, a magician from a world none of our worlds are connected with well randomly wanting to preform a magic act is suspicious," Duck Hunt Dog said as the gang approached the last corner before they would encounter the "magician" himself, who just so happened to be deep enough within his thoughts that he couldn't hear the gang on wackos approaching.

~Mansion (Dark Hallways) stops~

"Oh well, even if they aren't in the crowd, I can still send some of these other lowlifes to uncharted territory where they'll die or just saw them up the old fashioned way... that ought to-" "Houdini" started before a sudden urge to sneeze flew up into his nose. "Haaaa... HAAAAA..."

"I think I hear that Houdini up ahead," Wario whispered to his pals. They picked up the pace and stopped right at the corner, peeking at the "magician" as his sneeze kept trying escape.

"HAAAAA... HAAAA-CHOO!" the "magician" sneezed, which accidentally caused his magical cover to be blown with a poof of pink magic. Once the poof soon faded, his true identity was revealed: it was none other than Weegee, but you already probably guessed that. The gang of five managed to keep themselves from gasping at the sudden shock as Weegee realized that his cover was blown. With a wave and a tap on his head from his magic wand, Weegee instantly managed to get his disguise back before waltzing out onto the stage. The crowd applauded as the gang took in what just happened.

"Wow... that Houdini guy accidentally used his own magic to transform himself into Weegee for a few seconds," Wario claimed, causing Duck Hunt to cringe.

"I feel sorry for him. Must've been the worst seconds in his entire life," Waluigi added.

"No! That "Houdini" is actually Weegee you guys! This whole "magician" nonsense was just a stunt so he could sneak his way into the grounds!" Duck Hunt informed the other four.

"That... was my second guess," Wario claimed.

"What're we gonna do?! Master Hand isn't going to believe this, especially not from us!" Crazy mentioned, spazzing and panicking a bit.

"He might believe it from me! I'll go look for him while you guys try to expose Weegee on stage or something!" the dog suggested before he ran back the way the gang came, heading for the auditorium's back entrance. The other four looked at each other, unsure of what to do about exposing Weegee to the public.

"What're we gonna do about it?" Falco wondered. The gang looked around the backstage, looking for something that could possibly help them out, until Waluigi spotted something and pointed at it.

"Waa! Let's us that thing!" the lanky plumber said, dragging the others's attention to the thing he was pointing at before they all ran towards it. Juts as they began running, the applause from the overly excited crowd finally ended.

"Took you all long enough to shut up..." Weegee whispered before shouting loud enough for the entire auditorium to hear. "Yes, it is I, The Great Houdini! Now, do you all want to see some magic?!" The crowd loudly spewed out a small variety of answers for the question.

"Yes please!"


"Use your magic for my political agenda!"

"NO!" the ever weird SMG4, who just so happened to be sitting right behind Malleo and Ai, shouted. The two new friends turned around, looking right into SMG4's eyes with their own, anger-filled, eyes. After a few seconds of complete silence and SMG4 sweating intensely, the weirdo got up and ran out of the auditorium, crying like Peter Griffin. The silence in the large building continued once SMG4 left, with everyone shifting their attention back to the magician on stage.

~Come With Me 2 from Pokémon: Heart Gold/ Soul Silver starts to play~

"Oh... OK then! Let the magic begin!" Weegee exclaimed, ending the maddening silence. "For my first trick, I'm going to need a volunt-" Suddenly, an Infernape from the audience wooshed onto the stage, ready to serve as the volunteer for the first magic act. "Oh! I guess we have our first volunteer right here!"

"Infern!" Infernape happily shouted.

"Alright then Weegee, just do a simple magic trick, no malice with this one," Weegee thought before speaking aloud again. "Now then! For my first act, I shall create an illusion copy of this fine Infernape!" The crowd gasped in awe as Weegee stretched his arms out, just for you, while the inane quartet were ready to try to reveal "Houdini's" true identity.

"I'm about to drop it onto Weegee!" Wario told the other three as he held tightly onto a rope with a Sandbag tied to the one free end.

"Yeah, drop it like it's hot!" Crazy Hand replied, giving Wario a thumbs up.

~Come With Me 2 stops~

A drum roll began from out of nowhere as Weegee started waving the magic wand around, ready to preform the magic trick.

"Bibbidi... Bobbidi..."

"Now!" Waluigi ordered. Wario obeyed, letting go of the rope and letting the Sandbag with eyes fall. The Sandbag quickly crashed onto and even through the stage, interrupting Weegee's act.

... But instead of crushing Weegee as planned, the Sandbag crushed Infernape instead, resulting in a mass amount of gasps from the audience.

"I HATE ALL OF YOU!" the Sandbag screamed as soon as it finally stopped falling, landing with a loud thud.

"Uh... that plan failed," Falco muttered, peeking through the curtains.

"Are you going to be all right, Infernape?!" Weegee asked with a concerned tone in his voice that was as fake as the Super Smash Bros. Universe "leak", yet still was completely convincing to the crowd and Infernape.

"Infernape!" the Pokémon replied. He then used the move Dig to, well, dig through the dirt beneath the auditorium. Duck Hunt sighed, now standing next to Snake, who was sitting on the left edge of the seats.

"Look Snake, I need to know where Master Hand is, and pronto," the dog whispered.

"He told me that he had to go to his office for something before he could watch the show," the soldier replied.

"Alright, thanks." The dog ran out of the auditorium as fast as his four legs could carry him as Weegee kept staring at the hole.

"Well, I guess Infernape's going to dig his way out, so I guess for my first act, instead of creating illusions, I'll fix this nasty hole up instead!" the phony magician stated. Some of the audience members clapped as Weegee pulled an entire blanket that was big enough to cover the entire hole and then some from inside his fake shirt and laid it over the stage's cavity. Weegee then began to rapidly spin, blocking the audience's view of the covered-up hole. While he spun around, he intentionally dropped the magic wand onto the hole. Upon the wand's contact with the hole, the hole was magically fixed, trapping the Sandbag beneath the stage. Weegee then stopped spinning and grabbed both the blanket and the wand in one fell swoop, revealing that the hole had been fixed.

~Win & Dance DX from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Sage + Bowser's Minions starts to play~

"And presto! It is fixed!" Weegee exclaimed, stepping aside to let the crowd see his accomplishment. Some of the crowd roared with excitement as the other half stayed quiet, though all of them were interested for what was in store for them. Falco stopped peaking through the curtains and turned back to his three pals with a concerned look on his face.

~Win & Dance stops~

"Wait... didn't that Sandbag still crush somebody though?" Crazy asked. The insane hand soon got his answer, for Infernape decided to uppercut his way through the backstage's floor, smashing his fist right into Wario's chin, forcing a yelp out of the yellow dork and sending up into the air. Once Wario landed back down on the floor, Infernape ran for the backstage's back exit.

"Yeeeeeep," Falco replied as Wario got up on his own.

"Well... what else can we try?" Wario wondered.


~Pause Menu from Luigi's Mansion: Dark Moon starts to play~

Master Hand was in his office, sitting at his desk and having a video chat with E. Gadd on his computer via Skype, AKA The One-Hundred Percent Inferior Option To Discord.

"So you can't explain this new discovery to me at all yet?" Master Hand asked.

"Not really. All I can say is that this discovery about our universe doesn't involve the Internet this time. It's something... bigger than that. Stranger than that. Even I don't entirely understand it yet. That said, I should be able to figure this all out soon enough. Hopefully sometime tomorrow," Elvin replied.

"I'm not sure how something can be stranger than a universe with distorted versions of some of us, but whatever you say Elvin. Hope to hear from you again soon."

"Same here. Ciao for now!"

~Pause Menu stops~

The chat then ended as Master Hand exited out of Skype before shutting his computer down. As soon as the computer was shut off, Duck Hunt barged right into the room, panting a bit.

"What?! Duck Hunt? What's the meaning of this?" the giant hand wondered.

"It's... it's the magicia-"

"Oh, right, the magic show! I nearly forgot about it! Thank you for reminding me!" Master Hand interrupted as he exited the room. The dog however was too tired to follow him out, forcing him to fall down onto his belly as he watched the sane hand slowly float his way down the hall.


~Lollipop Land 1 from Kirby: Triple Deluxe starts to play~

"Alright! For my next act, I'm going to need some assistance once again!" Weegee exclaimed. "This time, I'm going to need TWO volunteers!"

"OOOOH! Two volunteers! Let's go up there, Ai!" Malleo squealed.

"Yeah! Let's get in on the magic!" Ai replied, the two jumping out of their seats and making a run for the stage. Weegee spotted them as they made their way into the lane stuck between the hordes of seats and groaned.

"Ugh... whatever. One more actual magic trick before the revenge can begin is fine. Besides, Malleo deserves a little bit of the spotlight..." Weegee thought as the two made it onto the stage. Once Malleo made it onto the stage, commotion began to break out among the crowd.

"Doesn't that weird looking Mario on stage look kinda like that Weegee guy?" Chrom whispered into Corrin's ear.

"I don't know, but he's so adorable. I want to adopt him and take him back home with me," Corrin replied, getting a weird look from Chrom who couldn't just accept the simple fact that Malleo was indeed very adorable.

~Lollipop Land 1 stops~

"Now that we have our two volunteers, I shall preform my next trick! I shall magically place Ma-erm, this young man's glove on this lovely lady's hand!" Weegee said to the oblivious crowd before pulling out a handkerchief from his fake shirt. Once Malleo and Ai reached their right hands out, Weegee placed the handkerchief onto both of them. "Now, before I do my magic, I'm going to need you two to close your eyes."

"Okie dokie!" Malleo happily replied. Ai simply closed her eyes as Malleo zipped his shut with zippers that seemingly came out of nowhere. After the two of them shut the "windows to their souls", Weegee reached his left hand out over their hands and started waving it around a bit as he held his magic wand behind his back. As Weegee was readying his magic, Wario and Waluigi spied on him from behind the curtains.

"That does it! I'm just going to have to out there and expose that meme with brute force!" Wario said.

"Wario, we really should come up with a smarter plan than that," Falco replied.

"I thought we were the ones who weren't supposed to come up with smarter plans," Crazy stated. Falco was about to argue, lifting his hand up, but suddenly realized that Crazy was right and put his hand down.

"Alright, here I go!" Wario said. Just as Weegee was about to unleash his magic via his magic wand, Wario bolted through the curtains and tackled Weegee, Malleo, and Ai. The wand landed right on Malleo's hand, causing the magic to take effect.

"OW! War-er, I mean, what was the meaning of that, chubby idiot?!" Weegee shouted as the three tried to squirm underneath Wario.

"You know what the meaning of it is!" Wario shouted back.

"Hey, can we take this handkerchief off now?" Malleo asked.

"Once this dolt gets off of mEEEEEEEEEEE!" Weegee replied as Wario picked him up and lifted him over the yellow weirdo's head. Malleo then tossed the handkerchief to the side, revealing that the trick had worked... and it even revealed his astonishingly wrinkly hand, covered his scrapes and a tattoo of his grand dad, Fortran.

"Now I wish the trick didn't work," Lucario groaned, disgusted by the hand.

~Egg Dragoon's battle theme from Sonic Generations starts to play~

Suddenly, the magic started taking full effect on Malleo's hand, causing it to grow in size. Those on stage, behind the curtains, and in the audience gasped as it continued to grow. It stopped as soon as it was Master Hand and Crazy Hand's size before the tips of Malleo's index, middle, and ring finger started mutating. The index and ring finger mutated into the two brainless heads of a Hydreigon while the middle finger's tip transformed into the main head. The tattoo of Fortran even shifted onto Malleo's palm, with "Fortran's" eyes glowing red.

"BAN. ALL. MASHUPS," the now evil Fortran tattoo demanded. Some of the audience, such as Luigi and Villager, ran out of the auditorium as others, like Lucario and Meta Knight, leaped onto the stage, ready to combat the abomination. Ai, despite screaming, pulled out a rocket launcher to fight the hand of pure evil.

"I'm sorry Malleo, but a girl's gotta do what a girl's gotta do!" she cried out.

"It's OK, I understand. The beast must be put down after all," Malleo replied, a tear falling down from his eye. Ai began to cry as she aimed the rocket launcher right at the center "Hydreigon" head...

~Egg Dragoon stops~

... but that's when the mutated hand suddenly started morphing back into its original state. The finger tips transformed to their normal form, the tattoo moved back to the, well, back of Malleo's hand, and the hand itself shrunk back down. The screaming audience stopped their screaming, those on stage threw their weapons to the side, Kawasaki started complain about how the chaos and destruction ended before it could even begin, and some of those that fled the scene walked back in.

"Yay! I don't have to kill Malleo's hand after all!" Ai cheered, hugging her new friend. While everyone else calmed down, Lucario turned around to face Wario, staring into the yellow plumber's face with an angry look.

"Nice job, you imbecile! Your interference turned my harmless magic trick into a spell that nearly got us all killed!" Weegee said.

"Yeah, you stupid maniac! We're lucky that spell didn't last long!" Lucario added.

"Quit yelling at me, fleabag! That chaotic spell was probab-"

Having had enough of Wario, Lucario used the move Extreme Speed to snag Weegee out of Wario's grasp, place the disguise meme's feet back onto the stage, and kick Wario all the way back into the backstage in the blink of an eye. Wario crashed into a barrel seconds after being launched, nearly knocking Waluigi down. With Wario out of the way, Lucario wiped the dust off of his hands with a smirk on his face.

"Thank you for making that brute unhand me, Mr. Lucario! You sure are a fine gent!" Weegee lied to the Pokémon.

"No need to thank me. I mean, it is the right thing to send a maniac like him flying for his idiotic actions," Lucario replied with a chuckle. While the two kept talking, Meta Knight sneaked behind the curtains, finding the four dunces.

"Wario, you either were doing something really dumb, or you know something about Houdini that the rest of us don't know. Which one is it?" the tiny knight asked.

"We know the truth about Houdini! That guy's just Weegee under a magical disguise!" Crazy answered. Meta Knight thought about Crazy's claim, rubbing his chin before coming up with a response.

"Well... that does actually sound believable. I'm not sure where Weegee could've possibly gotten such grand magic from, but that doesn't matter right now. What does matter is that we spread the truth before someone gets hurt," Meta Knight replied.

"Now then!" Weegee exclaimed to the crowd. "With that psycho out of the way, we can move onto the next act! I'll need another volunteer, and this time, I'll need them to sit inside this large box so I can cut them in half with no pain at all before putting them back together again!" This time, the crowd only responded with minor commotion, mostly due to the uncertainty of just how safe "Houdini's" magic tricks really were. After a few moments of nothing but the commotion, Weegee decided to speak up once again. "Well, if no one's going to come up here by themselves, I guess I will choose the volunteer!"

"Eeek!" Bowser Jr., who was sitting in his Junior Clown Car while sitting between Lucina and Bowser himself, shrieked, not wanting to head up onto the stage. That's when he decided to use the Clown Car to chuck Lucina right onto the stage, causing her to land face-first in front of Weegee. Once the princess from Ylisse landed, Bowser turned his head towards his evil little son and gave him a grin plus a thumbs up.

"Finally, someone to unleash my revenge upon," Weegee thought as Lucina got onto her feet. "Well then! I guess I don't have to pick after all!"

"No! Weegee's going to slice and dice Lucina into pieces!" Crazy said, stating the obvious... or not so obvious. Maybe, maybe not. Either way, Lucina began to crawl into the box as Weegee got his saw ready.

"Quick! We've got to do something!" Meta Knight exclaimed just loud enough for Weegee to hear as Lucina crawled into the box. In response, Weegee silently pulled out a magic wand built like a boomerang and chucked it towards the backstage, the action going completely unnoticed by the crowd and Lucina. After flying right through the curtains, the boomerang wand smacked Meta Knight right on his mask before zipping right back into Weegee's grasp. Meta Knight tried to continue speaking, but all he could make were muffled noises.

"Waa! That stupid meme used magic to shut Meta Knight up!" Waluigi said, definitely stating the obvious.

"Now what're we gonna do?!" Crazy panicked. Suddenly, after remembering just what caused Weegee to accidentally reveal his secret to him and his pals in the first place.

"Wait! If all it took was a sneeze to force Weegee's cover to be blown, then all we have to do is make him sneeze again!" Wario claimed. "Falco, do you still have some pepper from breakfast?"

"Sure do!" the space bird replied, whipping out two leftover pepper shakers.

~Your First Battle from Miitopia starts to play~

Wario then snagged the two shakers and took the caps off of the shakers with his mouth. Once they were off, Wario ran through the curtains again while shaking the shakers wildly, causing most of the pepper to fly out as he passed by Weegee. A lot of the spice went up Weegee's nose, irritating the nose. As the irritation became more and more unbearable, Master Hand and Duck Hunt Dog entered the auditorium and saw just what was going on.

"Ah... HAA... ACHOOOO!" Weegee sneezed, forcing him to drop the magic wand he had in his hand as his disguise malfunctioned again, causing the entire audience to gasp. Before Weegee could do anything else, Meta Knight swiped the wand that was on the ground and gave it a little wave before smacking it on his mask to regain his voice.

~Your First Battle stops as Boss Battle 2 from the same game starts~

"It's over, Weegee!" Meta Knight claimed, aiming the magic wand he picked up at the evil meme. "Your plan ends here!"

"Darn it, Weegee! Why do you have to be such a meanie?!" Malleo complained.

"I don't get what's going on," Ai muttered.

"You really think it's over, you dumbass knight?! I brought more than one wand, you know!" Weegee shouted back at Meta Knight as he pulled out another magic wand.

"Hmph!" Meta Knight grunted before firing a magical beam at the meme, who responded with the same tactic. In the blink of an eye, the two beams collided, trying to overcome the other and keep moving, but failing to.

~Boss Battle 2 stops~

After a few seconds, the beams quickly formed a portal to another dimension. Weegee and Meta Knight stopped their attacks to avoid making things any worse as the portal grew slightly bigger. Upon the end of the portal's growth, four humans stepped out of it: Sayori, Yuri, Natsuki, and Monika.

"Oh great. Someone's been messing with something they can't control. AGAIN," Sans complained as the four girls analyzed their surroundings.

"Nice going, stupid knight. That portal you caused could've killed us all!" Weegee groaned. However, Wario tackled the meme from behind, with Meta Knight, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Lucario, Duck Hunt Dog, Toad, and even Lucina, who had broke her arms and legs through the box and walked around while wearing it, also tackling Weegee afterwards.

Two Minutes Later...

~Goodnight from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts to play~

The stars of the night twinkled brightly over the woodland near the Smash Grounds. A Snorlax was sleeping blissfully as the only noise that filled the forest air was a light breeze and some occasional chirps from some Hoothoot and Noctowl. Even a certain little Vulpix was sleeping quietly on his belly.

~Goodnight stops~

... But of course, all that peace anyone would strive for vanished as soon as some screaming plagued the forest's air. Even though neither Snorlax nor Vulpix woke up from the screaming, they both awoke at the loud crash that followed. Vulpix jumped off and ran away while Snorlax merely brought his head up and found that Weegee had crashed head-first into the ground right in front of him.

"This maniac? Again?! This is the second time he's disturbed me in my sleep... I think. Whatever! If he wakes me up one more time, I swear to Arceus..." Snorlax complained within his head before Malleo drove up in his "Swag" Mobile before parking, getting out, tossing his unconscious brother into the back seats, getting back in, and driving away.


Master Hand, Metal Mario, and Metal Luigi were busy cleaning the remaining damages to the stage as Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, and Meta Knight were hanging around the concession area, chatting the time away.

"I still wanna know where Weegee got all those magic wands from," Duck Hunt Dog muttered. Just then, Meta Knight remembered something about the real Houdini, but wanted a source to confirm that something.

"Waluigi, you wouldn't have that "Book Of Legit Facts" on you right now, would you?" the knight from Dream Land asked.

"Waa, sure do," Waluigi replied, handing Meta Knight the book. The knight opened the book and started skimming through it to find out the truth.

"Let's see here... Shulk's Monado cannot predict the future anywhere near as well in the Smash World, GengarFan3 is a lazy and useless waste of space, Tharja has a crush on both Robin and Walui- ah, here it is! Houdini... died back on October 31, 1926."

The six then just stared into space, realizing that Weegee had disguised himself as a person who had been dead for nearly a century... while Tharja stood right behind Waluigi, staring at his ass.

Chapter Text

Episode 12: Waluigi's Video Game

NOVEMBER 20th, 2016

~The main menu theme from Wario Land: Shake It starts to play~

Wario and Waluigi were in the cafeteria, playing different versions of Fire Emblem Fates on their 3DSes. Wario was playing Birthright (BECAUSE HE'S STILL A SCRUB!1!) while Waluigi was playing Conquest (BECAUSE HE STILL ONLY CARES ABOUT ARE CAMILLA'S TITS1!1).

"Waaaaaaa..." Wario yawned. "You still tired?"

"Wario... of course I'm still tired. From that nonsense that happened in Koridai AND Weegee's attack on this joint from this morning!" Waluigi replied.

"Speaking of Weegee's stupid attack, thanks again for helping us out back there, big guy!" Wario said to the same Snorlax that Weegee woke up yesterday.

"No problem!" Snorlax replied before began to chow down on cooked Oran Berries, Maxim Tomatoes, and lotsa spaghetti. The two brothers then continued to play their video games... until Waluigi remembered something.

~The main menu theme stops~

"Waa! I can't believe I forgot about it!" the lanky weirdo exclaimed, turning his 3DS off and putting it into his pocket.

"Forgot abou- WOAH!" Wario said before Waluigi interrupted his bro by picking up the heavy plumber.

~Spear Of Justice (Date Version) from Undertale starts to play~

Waluigi then dashed out of the cafeteria at the speed of sound, dragging Wario along the whole way. Wario screamed from the top of his lungs as most of body fell off, leaving his skeleton as the only part that Waluigi still held in his grasp. Waluigi kept running, blazing through parts of the Smasher's Palace, some of the Smash Grounds, the nearby woods, the streets of Smashtopolis, Green Hill Zone, where he zipped by Classic Sonic, who tripped as soon as the lanky goofball zoomed past, Rainbow Road, the Kanto region's Cycling Road, the Waterfall area from Undertale, some portions of the bizarre Internet, including sites such as YouTube, Smash Custom Music, and Serenes Forest, Amity Park, Retroville, Kame House, Suzaku Castle, Green Hill again, where, this time, he zipped right by Dr. Eggman and Metal Sonic, the plains of Hoshido, King Dedede's Castle, a destroyed Waluigi Pinball, where a strange genocide was taking place, with another Waluigi fighting back against Bowser and a brainwashed Camilla, and Hoenn's Cycling Road, where Waluigi and Wario's skeleton entered an Ultra Wormhole, and by extension, Ultra Space itself. Waluigi kept up his absurd speed, passing by Squidward, who was wearing a football outfit, carrying a football, and running nearly as fast as the purple pest, as well as passing by Big Yoshi from Super Mario RPG: The Legend Of The Seven Stars, Lissa, a bunch of Buzzwole, Mickey Mouse, and GengarFan3 before finally reaching the other end of the Ultra Wormhole, appearing in the Wario Bros.'s room, stopping as soon as he exited the portal.

~Spear Of Justice (Date Version) stops~

"Phew! That took a little longer than needed, but we're finally here!" Waluigi said. "I hope all that speed didn't make you si-" The tall idiot then realized that only Wario's skeleton remained, rattling as he looked at it.

"Don't worry, the rest of my body's coming," the skeleton told his brother. The pile of bones managed to slip from Waluigi's grasp and walked over to the door, opening it wide. The two looked into the halls...

~The underwater theme from Super Mario Bros. starts to play~

... finding a trio of Bloopers heading their way, somehow swimming in the air just like they were still swimming in the water. Behind the trio of Bloopers was the rest of Wario's body, "swimming" along with them. The Bloopers would eventually pass by the brothers, but Wario's body stopped following the squids and instead grabbed the skeleton and swallowed it whole. Once the skeleton got inside, Wario's body slammed down onto the floor.

~The underwater theme stops~

The two then walked back into their room, with Waluigi heading over to their TV.

"Now, what'd ya drag me through all of that for?" Wario asked as Waluigi put a Wii U disk into their, well, Wii U.

"Remember that video game I was working on? I finished it the night before Halloween, but I never played it," Waluigi answered.

"Oh yeah! I can't believe we both forgot about it for so long!" Wario responded. Waluigi then turned both the TV and the Wii U on, and, soon enough...

~Game Corner from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

... the game loaded up the pixelated title screen, revealing the game's title: Waluigi's Video Game: Conquest For The Five Purple Coins.

"Ooooh, I like it! Nice and narcissistic! Could use a bit more yellow though," Wario remarked.

"Thanks! Now then, let's get this game star-"

~Game Corner stops as Panic Pit from Mario & Luigi: Dream Team starts~

"WAH! YOU MADWOMAN! IT'S JUST A LITTLE BIT OF FOOTAGE!" Snake shrieked from down the hall, interrupting Waluigi.


"What the heck is going on?!" Waluigi wondered, putting the Wii U gamepad down.

"I dunno, but if it involves Lucario getting hurt, then I wanna see it!" Wario stated with a chuckle. Just then, Lucario and Snake barged into the room, running around like a bunch of wackos. "Hey! No acting like morons in our room!"

"I GOT YOU NOW!" Zelda roared as she entered the room, blood-red with anger. Lucario and Snake yelled as loud as they could while the two brothers kept wondering just what the princess was so pissed off about.

"ZELDA, LEAVE ME BE!" Lucario begged. Zelda ignored his plea and started charging up a magic spell. Before anyone could do anything about Zelda's rage, she unleashed the spell, knocking Lucario, Snake, and by accident, Wario and Waluigi, into the TV. Instead of crashing and breaking the TV however, the four were absorbed into the game.

"WARIO! WALUIGI! NO!" Crazy cried out, knocking Zelda down to the ground as he and Falco barged in. Falco stood off to the side as the giant hand floated in front of the TV, shivering and spazzing before turning to face the princess. "YOU MANIAC! WHAT WAS THAT FOR?! WARIO AND WALUIGI DID NOTHING WRONG! AND TO THINK YOU'RE SUPPOSED BE WISE BECAUSE OF THAT "ILLUMINATI OF INTELLIGENCE OR WHATEVER"! YOU MORON!"

"SHUT UP! YOU'RE THE REAL IDIOT HERE!" Zelda shouted back, unleashing a similar spell, sending Crazy Hand into the game's dimension as well.

~Panic Pit stops~

"AH! I gotta call 911 about this!" Falco said before pulling out his phone.


Wario, Waluigi, Lucario and Snake screamed as they fell through the sky while Crazy laughed hysterically at the whole situation. After a few seconds of falling, the five landed safely on a giant marshmallow.

~Dinosaur Land from Super Mario World starts to play~

"I can't believe tragedy just happened... and I can't really blame Wario and Waluigi for it," Lucario acknowledged, jumping off of the marshmallow. Everyone leaped off as well, landing on the snow-covered ground below them.

"Are we really in the game now?" Wario wondered.

"Yep, looks like it. This place here is called Sugar Daddy Domain, a kingdom themed around sweets!" Waluigi informed the squad.

"Wait... what game even is this?" Lucario asked.

"Waa, it's a video game I programmed myself!" Waluigi proudly stated.

"Ah, so you programmed this low-quality game. That explains why Snake's glitching out," Lucario replied, pointing to the solider...

~Dinosaur Land stops as A Cruel Angel's Thesis by Yoko Takahashi starts fifteen seconds in~

... who was dancing a very glitchy dance, preforming "dance moves" like the Peanut Butter Jelly Time dance, some of Azura's dance moves, and Swords Dance, while morphing into a pixelated abomination between dance moves.

"Help!" Snake cried out as he continued to uncontrollably dance.

~A Cruel Angel's Thesis stops~

"So... this place is a kingdom of some sorts then?" Wario questioned.

"Yeah, run by a weirdo who goes by the name of Mr. C. Humbucket who's a p-"

"Waluigi, unless this Mr. Wonko has a way to get us out of this place, let's not talk about him!" Lucario stated.

"Well, what are we supposed to do? Sit around and do nothing?" Crazy inquired.

"Waa! We can look for the five Purple Coins! They're magical and powerful coins! Maybe, if we get our hands on even just one, we can get ourselves outta this game!" Waluigi suggested.

"... Wow. First mayhem that I can't blame Wario and Waluigi for, and now Waluigi coming up with the best possible plan on ending the mayhem," the Aura Pokémon remarked as the other four moved along past him. "UGH! It's all so bizarre!" He then ran after his allies, heading for the first level...


... which just so happened to be called 1-1: Frosted Fields, as indicated by a sign that sat right at the edge of the fields. Near the sign were two knights whose armor was made out of those "boiled sweets" or hard candy.

"And so he's all, "Don't you realize that we just appeared out of nowhere one day? That we started our existences at the physical age of eighteen?"" one of the knights told the other. ""Meanwhile, there are these kids that came into existence at ten or eleven or whatever! Don't you think that's very out of place?" So I told him "You're some wei-""

... That's when Crazy Hand plowed through, his body curled up in a fist, killing the two knights. The giant hand stopped, letting the other five catch up to him.

"Waa! Thanks for clearing the way, Crazy! Now then, let's charge through and snag us a magical coin!" Wario exclaimed. The five then bolted ahead and split up, ready to clear the first level of the buggy game.


~The athletic theme from Super Mario World starts to play~

Wario was still running through Frosted Fields, plucking some of the chocolate-covered strawberries as he passed the bushes they were growing on. However, thanks to the poor programming of the game, an unintended side effect occurred from the strawberry consumption. Wario let out a small yet loud yelp as he started glitching out. However, the glitching soon ended, letting the chubby ding-a-ling let out a sigh of relief. Before he could take another step forward, a clone of him spawned right in front of him. Wario then tackled the clone, initiating a fight with him. The two got so rough with each other that they formed a big ball of violence, kicking up a lot of dust. The "ball" moved up one side of a large hill before rapidly rolling down the other side. As the "ball" rolled down, many other objects and characters, including bushes, the frosting the coated the earth, knights like the two from before, and Bonzi Buddy, got dragging into it, increasing its size and violence. The "ball" continued to roll, even after moving down the hill, still causing damage to the landscape.


Waluigi has nearly at the edge of Frosted Plains, jumping over the bottomless pits of the sugary plains. Soon enough, the lanky weirdo found a Question Mark Block floating in the air and decided to uppercut it from below, forcing a Cape Feather out of it. He then jumped up and grabbed the feather as it floated down before... eating it. YES YOU HAVE TO EAT THE DAMN FEATHER TO OBTAIN ITS POWERS NOW SHUT UP. Anyways, after eating the feather, Waluigi started floating in the air, forming an X with his arms whilst curling up his feet. After a few seconds of floating, Waluigi transformed into Cape Waluigi, destroying the X he made and uncurling his legs as a golden aura surrounded him. He then landed back down onto the ground before taking off at a ridiculous speed that rivaled his speed from when he dragged Wario to their room, nearly instantaneously flying right through a knight and his hard boiled sweets armor. The knight died, yet Waluigi kept floating ever so slightly above the ground... until Waluigi crashed right into an impenetrable wall. The tall ding-dong fell onto his back, losing his power-up. After a few seconds of rest, Waluigi got back onto his feet.

"Waa! Waluigi hates this game's logic!" the wacko complained before he walked towards the end of the stage.


Snake was in the next level, 1-2: Meringue Town, passing through the small village filled with huge gingerbread houses. After tactically sneaking his way around two boiled sweet knights, the soldier found a random cannon on the village's edge. Intrigued, Snake lit the fuse with a match, wondering if it would even work. Once the fuse was lit, the cannon directed its open end right at the castle. Before Snake could change the cannon's direction, the weapon of mass destruction shot out a blue ball, followed by a yellow ball, and then a red one. The three balls eventually crashed right into the castle, blowing the regal building up into a million pieces. Once the castle crashed to the ground, a whole army of the sweet boiled knights charged for Snake... only for the knight hoard to get trampled by the entire town, who praised Snake for freeing them from the tyrannical C. Humbucket.


Lucario was also in Meringue Town, much closer to the end of the stage. The Pokémon leaped from rooftop to rooftop, avoid the knights below. Soon enough, Lucario found a Slurpuff on top of a chimney. The Slurpuff jumped down from its spot and got ready for battle, for the Slurpuff was a secret midboss of the stage.

"Only a single Slurpuff? That should only take only Steel type move to deal with," Lucario thought. He lunged for the Slurpuff, but the Fairy type easily dealt with its opponent by swallowing him whole as soon as he got near it. Once Lucario was in Slurpuff's stomach, the Aura Pokémon lost a life. The Slurpuff then laughed Kefka's absurd laugh before leaping back onto the chimney.


Sanic, who somehow managed to sneak into the game on his own, was in the next stage, 1-3: Sweet-side Hill, was preforming the "Do An Awkward Barrel Roll!" glitch from Sonic Generations, rolling down a very steep hill while facing the "screen". As he was rolling down at the speed of sound, Crazy, who was riding in a rocket-powered sleigh, ran the meme hedgehog over, flatting him completely. Crazy kept riding down the hill, breaking down a candy cane "tree" during the process. The fun ended once the sleigh bolted right into the ocean, forcing the insane hand to make a quick swim back to shore. That's when he found a lollipop on the sugary beach, only without the stick.

"Oh boy! A boneless lollipop!" Crazy squealed. He fluttered right over to the big ball of sweetness and picked it up with his hand... er, body, I guess. After picking the sweet orb, he then came to an incredibly important realization.

... He couldn't fucking eat the thing at all.

"Darn it!" the inane hand cursed, clenching into a fist, accidentally crushing the stickless lollipop. "Oh, double darn it!" He then unfurled his fingers, letting the candy hit the "sand". "Now how's anyone going to enjoy the boneless goodness?!"

"Wahoo!" the Wario Bros. shouted as the leaped from out of nowhere, landing belly-first on the beach made of sugar. The two dimwits the gobbled down on the shattered lollipop pieces, sliding through the "sand" as Lucario and Snake showed up.

~The athletic theme stops~

"Well, at least we're together again..." Lucario muttered as Wario started eating through the sugar beach, digging a hole with his enormous mouth until the ground began to quake. Wario was forced out of the hole and was sent flying up a short distance into the digital air before crashing back down on his feet. The five then got into battle stances as another creature crawled out of the hole that Wario made. Said creature was a Mega Mole, donning the once iconic shades.

"Waa! It's the midboss of this entire world! It's Mega Mole!" Waluigi pointed out.

"Well, if it's an enemy, then there's only one thing to do!" Snake said.

~The boss theme from Mega Man X starts to play~

The five then lunged forward, ready to fight the huge Monty Mole. Mega Mole responded with the same action, leaping at them. Just when it seemed that they would crash into each other, the mole teleported, forcing the heroes to land on the "sand" below. The mole then reappeared behind Lucario and landed a flurry of punches. Time itself seemed to freeze for a short amount of time afterwards, with a flash of light coming from Mega Mole's right hand being the only exception. After the flash, time seemed to have freed itself, allowing Mega Mole to uppercut Lucario into the air. With the Pokémon up in the sky, Mega Mole teleported after him, reappearing next to Lucario to slash him once, sending Lucario back down to the ground. Lucario crashed back down into the ground as Mega Mole landed back on the sugar sand, causing a small quake. Just as the midboss was about to take one of Lucario's lives, Wario saved the Aura Pokémon by ground-pounding on Mega Mole, partially flattening the monstrous mole before bouncing off. While Mega Mole did lose one chunk of damage, thanks to the game's shitty programming, the attack resulted in a glitched clone of Mega Mole to spawn, being just as powerful as the original mole.

"WHAT?! Two of that punk?! Really?!" Wario complained just before a green object zoomed past.

~The boss theme stops~

The green object crashed right into both of the Mega Moles, killing them both before crashing into the sugar sands. Once the sweet dust cleared up, it was revealed that the green object was, of all the possible things, Weegee.

"WHAT?! WEEGEE?!" Lucario hollered.

"And us two!" Malleo exclaimed as he and Vaike approached from behind.

"Waa?! What are you three doing here?!" Wario questioned with a shout.

"Well, I decided to come to the palace to hang out with you guys, I show up, Chrom and Lucina tell me you guys got stuck in some game, I came after you, and, well, he I am," Vaike answered.

"OK, but that doesn't explain why WEEGEE of all people is here!" Lucario mentioned.

"Oh, well, Falco told me that he tried to call 911, but as he did, he realized that there is no such thing as a 911, so he called the only other number on his phone that wasn't Wario or Waluigi: ME!" Malleo joyfully answered.

"Yeah, and he dragged me along for this hellish ride," Weegee complained, walking over to the rest of the gang. "If it weren't for him, I wouldn't be here. Now how the hell are we supposed to get out of this maddening place?!"

"We gotta get a Purple Coin! It's the only thing that might be able to get us out of here," Waluigi informed the three newcomers.

"Ugh... then let's make this quick," Weegee groaned before the eight marched onward.


~Pleasure Castle... For Twinkle Park from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

Wario and Waluigi were jumping from car to car in the next level, 1-4: Sugar Highway. The two kept leaping to avoid low hanging signs that barely stood over the cars, riding their way to the level after Sugar Highway: 1-5: Muffin Man's City. While clinging onto the roof of a van, Wario spotted a Pipe Frame Kart in mint condition. The chubbier brother poked his, well, brother, succeeding in getting his attention, and pointed at the kart as the van sluggishly moved forward. The two dunces then leaped off and ran over to the two-person kart. Wario revved up its engine as Waluigi hopped into the back seat. Once the engine was revved, the dimwitted duo, as well as their new kart, began to glow with all the colors of the rainbow, as if it was powered by a Super Star. The brothers took this fact in before they deviously grinned. Wario then floored it, racing back onto the highway. The gingerbread vehicles on the road steered away from the Pipe Kart, letting the idiots drive by without anyone in the way. After a few moments of high octane chaos, a few police cars began to chase after Wario and Waluigi, their sirens blaring as loud as they could.


Lucario and Snake were further ahead, clinging onto the top of a semi's trailer. The semi hung over on the other side of the road, letting the two relax, not having to deal with the hazardous signs that the brothers had to. While Snake kept his eyes on focused on his surroundings, Lucario was reading the Sunday edition of the Sugar Daddy Kingdom newspaper. Both of them dropped what they were doing as soon as their ears picked up on the sirens, turning their heads to the other half of the highway. The two discovered the Wario Bros. and their kart, still radiating the colors of the rainbow, were being chased by a dozen of cop cars, with all of the cars on that half of the highway still pulling over to avoid the potential pain that could happen if the idiotic duo crashed into them.

"What are those morons doing?!" Lucario wondered with worry. Wario and Waluigi however didn't care and laughed... until they ran into one oblivious semi...

... But since the rainbow effect was nothing more than glitched graphics, instead of sending the semi into oblivion as they expected, the moronic brothers were crushed into pseudo accordions, even making according sounds as their damaged yet still alive bodies bounced up and down. The kart slowed down as one of the cop cars caught up. That cop car ended up driving over the two as they continued bouncing, sending the car up into the sky, with the brothers making the spring sound from Super Mario World as they got crushed again. The police car flew on over to the semi, giving the two riding it a frighten.

"ABANDON SEMI, ABANDON SEMI!" Snake commanded as the two jumped off. They then rolled down the hill, rolling on over to Muffin Man's City as the cop car crashed into the semi.


Speaking of Muffin Man's City, Crazy Hand and Vaike were roaming the skyline of the metropolitan, which was radiating with bright lights, coming from the streets, buildings, and even the moon above. The duo ran across a huge building but came to a quick halt as soon as soon as they came close to the edge. While Crazy tried to think of a way to cross the gap, idiotically forgetting that he could simply float across, Vaike grabbed a candy cane roughly his size and headed over to a nearby wire that was connected to the next building over. He then placed the hook of the candy cane onto the wire and held on tightly, flying over to the next building. As soon as he got off, he turned back, waiting for Crazy to cross.

"What's taking ya, Crazy?!" Vaike asked.

"Oh yeah, I wasn't paying attention to what you were doing. Sorry!" the hand said before picking up a candy cane, getting ready to get over the same way Vaike did. After setting things up the same way Vaike did, Crazy tried to zip on over, but the wire snapped on his end before he could even start, forcing him to fly into the next building's windows. After he got up from the crash, the giant hand discovered a random Warp Pipe sitting in the same office room. Curious, he climbed his way inside...


~Pleasure Castle stops~

... and crawled out the other end, finding himself in a glitch level: 98 - -1: C5K. Everything besides him and the Warp Pipe were glitched sprites from the original Super Mario Bros., all with a purple sky in the background. The only exceptions were what seemed like unfinished sprites pulled from the GBA Fire Emblem games, and fire sprites from the original Sonic The Hedgehog, with the latter not only being perfectly fine, but seemingly incinerating the GBA sprites... or at least trying to, for the sprites would never fade away, resulting in an endless flame. The absurd hand stared at the indescribable world before him, took the defective environment, let reality sink into his mind... and then finally said what he wanted to say.

"What a dump."


~Pleasure Castle starts again~

Meanwhile, Weegee and Malleo were walking through the radiant streets of the megalopolis, being forced to walk since the game somehow prevented them from using their teleportation powers. Weegee was busy using his phone, looking up Love Live fan art, leaving Malleo to bask in the city's alluring surroundings. The billboards in particular, ranging from ones promoting Waluigi's Taco Stand, McDonald's, and Super Wario Bros.: Daily Life At The Rebooted Smash, really drew in the naive meme's attention. However, before long, a hoard of Sniper Bills appeared before the meme brothers, aiming their Super Scopes at the memes' heads. While Malleo was confused and a little frightened, Weegee merely glanced up at his foes, a lazy look in his eyes. He then fired a small yet still powerful laser beam from his eyes that easily vaporized the armed bullets before he looked back down at his phone and walked forward. As his younger brother moved along, Malleo turned his head to the "screen" and shurgged.


~Pleasure Castle stops again~

Harsh winds blew through the final level of the first world. All there was to 1-6: Radio Station CAVITY was the station and its huge radio antenna, where Sans, Mermaid Man, and Funky Kong, who, just like Sanic, managed to sneak into the game, were sitting on the antenna for some reason. Weegee and Malleo were the first ones to arrive, followed by Crazy and Vaike, then Lucario and Snake, and finally the Wario Bros.

"This is... it. The last level of this world," Waluigi panted, tired from the police chase.

"Alright, so is this where we get that damn coin then?" Weegee impatiently asked.

"Waa, yeah. Just gotta fight the boss and then we get the first coin."

"ANOTHER ONE? This one better not be like that Slurpuff or that stupid mole, because I'm not dealing with such nonsense!" Lucario complained.

"Oh no, it's nothing like the-"

~It's A Trap! from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door starts to play~

Just then, Lord Crump, yet another of the weirdos who somehow managed to sneak into the game, jumped down from the moonlit sky, landing right in front of the eight weirdos.

"Buh! Buh! Buh huh huh! Hello, lower lifeforms! Bask in the glory that is me, Lord Crump!" the maniacal wacko cackled.

"This clown is the boss, I take it? Seems like a simple enough of a foe to beat down," Weegee remarked, irritating the X-Naut commander.

"No, he isn't the bo-" Waluigi stated before getting interrupted.

"OOH! But that's no ordinary clown! That's the infamous Dr. Pootis!" Crazy claimed.

"Oh yeah! That is Dr. Pootis! Heya doc! How's it going?" Malleo added.

"BUH! You ingrates! You dare call me a mere clown?! And you even have the gall to call me by that stupid "Dr. Pootis" nickname that sprung out of some dimwit's disgusting mouth some day that somehow caught on with some other idiots?!?! You fools! You may have guts, but you also have no brains! And for that, I'll punish you in an even grander way than I was planning! See you soon, foolish fools!" Lord Crump declared before leaping off the building.

~It's A Trap! stops~

"... So... if that loser wasn't the boss, then what is?" Wario asked right before the entire city began to shake. Both Mermaid Man and Funky began to scream as Sans just continued to smile like he always does.

"Welp, looks like we gotta get out of here," the skeleton stated, grabbing both of the screamers before jumping off the building. The quake only got worse as time went by, with Waluigi, Lucario, Snake, and Vaike eventually starting to have trouble even standing.

~Final Boss - Part 1 from Sonic Colors starts to play~

The tremors got even worse as the true boss started to rise out from the ground a good distance away from the radio station. The boss was a giant robot of Sain, pixelated just like the rest of the GBA Fire Emblem sprites back from the glitch level, though it had a fully body and recolored outfit, with black and white colored armor instead of green and gold. On top of the gigantic robot was Crump, laughing like the madman he was.


"... That's the boss," Waluigi pointed out.

"Sheesh, the moron could have gave it a better color at least," Wario commented as the quake began to cease.

"It could've been worse. I've seen worse sprite recolors than that," Weegee replied.

"ENOUGH BLUBBERING! NOW IS THE TIME I OBLITERATE YOU ALL!" Crump exclaimed, jumping into the robot. As soon as he got inside, its eyes glowed a deep red.

"IT'S TIME TO TAKE DOWN DR. POOTIS!" Malleo roared. Wario got the Dinner Blaster out a fired a steaming hot plate of spaghetti, but the robot incinerated the plate with a laser beam from its arm.

"WAA! Even the Dinner Blaster is useless!" Wario cried out.

"Well, I'm not. I can easily take care of that clown and his robot," Weegee claimed. He then fired an eye laser at the monstrous robot, but the robot fought back with another laser of its own, one bigger than Weegee's laser. The Sain robot's laser easily overpower Weegee's and immediately blasted Weegee himself. The evil meme merely stood in the short lived laser, but he ended up completely covered in soot once the laser ended.

"HEY! NOBODY HURTS MY LITTLE BRO LIKE THAT, MR. DR. POOTIS! Crazy, hold me and fly me over to that meanie and his robot!" Malleo shouted. Crazy complied with Malleo's command, picking the other meme up before flying at the robot. Everyone else just watched the two as they flew around the robot's lasers and missiles. While they stared, a puny sprite of E.T. from the awful Atari 2600 game crawled up Vaike's body, which the fighter noticed.

"What the heck is this thing?!" Vaike loudly wondered, grabbing Wario and Waluigi's attention. The E.T. sprite stared at the robot as Crazy and Malleo flew back to the rest of the gang, having stolen Crump's Atari 2600.

"OI! YOU THINK YOU CAN STEAL ONE OF THE MOST PRECIOUS POSSESSIONS?!" Crump roared. "NOW YOU'VE REALLY DONE IT! PREPARE TO FACE LORD CRUMP'S TRUE POWER, PUNY BABIES!" The Sain robot then started to charge up a Kamehameha in an attempt to vaporize the entire squad. Meanwhile, the E.T. sprite leaped off of Vaike and landed on the Atari 2600. Upon landing, the bizarre sprite then began to absorb energy from the console.

~Final Boss - Part 1 stops~

Seconds after, a bright light flashed from "E.T.", distracting everyone, including Lord Crump.

"What? What was with the light?!" the X-Naut commander wondered. The E.T. sprite then began to rise into the air, beginning to glow a softer, golden light before teleporting much closer to the Sain robot.

~An Unrivaled Battle from Super Paper Mario starts to play~

Suddenly, the E.T. sprite rapidly grew to the giant robot's size, with a golden aura radiating around the alien pixel being.

"OH NO! GET AWAY, DEMON OF THE ATARI! STAY AWAY!" Lord Crump cried out, smashing all the buttons on the robot's control panel. Thanks to all the button mashing, the robot unleashed the Kamehameha at the sprite... only for the attack to do absolutely nothing. The alien then slowly marched on up to the robot, causing small quakes as its feet smashed into the pavement. Crump began to sweat like mad as the alien got even closer. Soon, the E.T. sprite was face-to-face with the Sain robot.

~An Unrivaled Battle stops~

And the alien fought back by... delivering a single slap to the robot's face.

... Which actually proved to be effective, considering the whole robot blew up afterward, sending both Lord Crump and the Purple Coin out into the sky. While Crump kept flying towards the moon, screaming like a puny baby, the Purple Coin landed back on Radio Station CAVITY.

~Victory from Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars starts to play~

The eight then started to dance around, aside from Wario, who picked the coin up, and Weegee, who was just focused on getting out of there. As soon as Wario held the coin in the sky, the eight were then teleported out of the game...


~Victory stops~

... and reappeared back in the Wario Bros.'s room, finding Falco, Zelda, Lucina, Zigzagoon, and Sans waiting for them.

... Well, most of them found the five. As soon as the eight reappeared, Master Hand grabbed onto Weegee and chucked him through the palace and all the way out into the woods... a similar fate to the one he encountered yesterday.

"Weegee!" Malleo cried out before teleporting after his little bro as Master Hand left the room. Meanwhile, Zigzagoon ran up to Crazy while Lucina rushed over to hug Waluigi. After all of the snuggling and happy reunions ended, everyone turned their heads towards Zelda, who answered by slowly walking out of the room.

~Panic Pit from Mario & Luigi: Dream Team starts to play~

She then zipped out of the room and into the hall, where Wario, Waluigi, Lucario, Crazy Hand, Snake, Lucina, and Zigzagoon, angrily chased after her. Falco, Vaike, and Sans merely poked their heads out of the room, staring at the chaotic chase.

Chapter Text

Episode 13: Lucina With Buns

NOVEMBER 21st, 2016

~Save Point from Kirby Super Star starts to play~

It was a bright and sunny morning over at the Smash Grounds. The sun's beams leaked into the many rooms, including Wario and Waluigi's, both of who were still asleep. However, both soon woke up with a loud yawn, feeling great from a good night's sleep.

"Waa... finally, some decent rest!" Wario remarked as they climbed out of bed. "First time in days since we've had no weirdos or losers ending our sweet dreams."

~Save Point stops~

... And then a loud scream blew through the Smash Grounds, shocking the brothers enough that they made a small jump.

"... Well, at least it came after our sleep," Waluigi muttered.


"Are you sure it was Crazy Hand who was screaming?" Meta Knight asked Lucario, both of them roaming around the Smash Grounds, looking for the source of the scream.

"It was Crazy's stupid shriek alright. No one screams as obnoxiously as him," Lucario answered. Just before he could add anything else, another scream began to clog the soundwaves.

"WAAAAAAAAAAHOOOOOOOOOOO!" Wario shouted as he and Waluigi drove towards the two in the Wario Car. Lucario dived out of the way as the car came to a stop, barely missing the Aura Pokémon.

"Though I'll admit there are some close seconds..." Lucario muttered as he got up.

"You two. Do you know what's behind that scream? Was it you?" Meta Knight inquired.

"Waa, all we know is that there was a scream in the first place. Other than that, nothing," Waluigi truthfully answered.

"WARIO! WALUIGI!" Crazy squealed as he flew on over, crashing right into Lucario before coming to a halt. "You need to see this! Lucina's talking with herself!"

"Woah! Now this I gotta see!" Wario said. He then reignited the Wario Car's engine before he and Waluigi followed after their crazy friend. Meta Knight lifted Lucario back onto his feet before they chased after the weirdos.


~Agh! Won Goph In Mah Mouph! Blech! Ptooey! from Fire Emblem: Awakening starts to play~

Over by the auditorium was Lucina, arguing with... another Lucina. One wearing a bunny-themed outfit, to be exact. A small crowd had gathered around them, wanting to see what was going on.

"Wait... so you're from a timeline where Grima failed to succeed, correct?" the regular Lucina asked her counterpart.

"Yep! Er... I think so... timelines and alternate universes confuse me," the other Lucina replied.

"Fight already, you wussies!" Bowser Jr. demanded. The crowd suddenly got a lot more boisterous and hostile, loving the idea of a fight between the two Lucinas.

"No! All of you, calm down!" regular Lucina ordered, even though no one listened...

~Agh! Won Goph In Mah Mouph! Blech! Ptooey! stops~

... until the Wario Car plowed through, running over a small bit of the crowd. Once the Wario Car showed up, everyone aside from the two Lucina, the Wario Bros., Crazy Hand, Lucario, Meta Knight, and those who got ran over made a break for it.

"... At least that ended the crowd's maddening pleas for violence," regular Lucina groaned as the idiotic brothers got out of their car.

~My Sweet Passion (Instrumental Version) from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

But the other Lucina was to busy admiring Waluigi's bod to notice the damage caused by Wario reckless driving.

"Gods... t-that tall man... and his gorgeous moustache... he's... he's the pinnacle of beauty!" the other Lucina thought, her eyes replaced with hearts. She leaped over to the lanky weirdo, trying to get in his view. "Hell-o nurse!"

"Waa, I ain't a nurse, weirdo," Waluigi said to the other Lucina.

"Oh, I know~" the other Lucina cooed just as Snake arrived. Regular Lucina started to get irritated with the other Lucina's bizarre flirts while Wario, Waluigi, and Crazy Hand were oblivious to the other Lucina's true feelings for Waluigi. "You're way more beautiful than some old nurse~"

"What is it with these Lucinas and finding Waluigi attractive?" Lucario whispered to Meta Knight, who answered with a mere shrug.

"Oh, I know I'm beautiful alright. It's hard to be as beautiful as me or my bro!" Waluigi claimed, feeling his own face.

"Uh-huh... say, you like cats?"

"Meh. Cats are meh."

"Well... maybe you'll find my cat to be a bit of an... exception~" the other Lucina seductively replied. Lucario, knowing just what the other Lucina meant, got sick to his stomach while Snake shed a single tear, realizing that Waluigi was getting more sexual attention than he ever had. Regular Lucina however was through with the other Lucina's flirtatious shenanigans. Walking right up to her, regular Lucina viciously grabbed her and turned her around, forcing her to gaze into regular Lucina's fire-filled eyes.

~My Sweet Passion stops~

"ENOUGH! ENOUGH WITH THESE FLIRTS! THEY'RE IRRITATING!" Regular Lucina roared, shaking the other Lucina.

"Irritating?! Why, because you love him too?!" the other Lucina growled back.

"N-no! It's just it's c-creepy!"

"Lucina, pretty much everyone knows you got some sort of weird crush on Waluigi. Quit trying to deny it," Snake stated, even though both Lucinas ignored him to continue their arguing.

"Umm... should we leave, Wario?" Waluigi asked his brother.

"Waa, probably. Let's-a go before things get anymore hectic," Wario replied.

"NO! I'VE HAD IT WITH YOU AND YOUR DISGRACEFUL FLIRTS!" Lucina shouted at the other Lucina.



"FINE! GET READY TO LOSE, WENCH!" The two Lucinas then ran off in different directions, letting everyone else take in the bet the Lucinas just made.

"Waa... wonderful. Just wonderful," Waluigi sarcastically complained.

"It really is. You've got two of the same beautiful girl fighting over you," Snake remarked, failing to pick up on the sarcasm. "The best part is that both of them have the same, nice ass."

"Well, no, only that "Bunny" Lucina brought a nice ass," Crazy pointed out by literally pointing at... Donkey. As in, Donkey from Shrek.

"Hello everybody!" Donkey greeted before Bunny Lucina returned only to drag him with her since he was her pet... for some reason.

"I don't know about you guys, but I wanna see those to fight!" Wario said. He then ran off for the Boxing Ring stage, with Waluigi, Crazy, and Snake following him, leaving Lucario and Meta Knight with the folks that got ran over.

"Why'd today have to be the day Master Hand decided to go shopping?!" Lucario mentally groaned.


~Career Mode Menu from Punch-Out (Wii) starts to play~

The Boxing Ring was nearly ready for the fight between the Lucinas. The seats were packed with nearly all of the Smasher's Palaces inhabitants, as well as many others who wanted to see the fight while the two Lucinas themselves were in the ring, wearing little more than bras, shorts, boxing gloves, and in Bunny Lucina's case, her bunny hat that could somehow express and feel emotions.

"It's a good thing Chrom and Robin aren't here to ruin this boxing action," Snake stated, sitting in between Duck Hunt Dog and Toad. "There's nothing like a hot boxing match between two hot girls."

"Boxing is seriously a fetish now?" Toad wondered.

"Yes, and it's a great fetish to have," Snake replied.

"Meh... whatever fruits your loops."

"Hey, can you guys clam it about weird fetishes?! I don't want that kind of stuff ruining my enjoyment of this match!" Wario, who was sitting with Waluigi, Falco, Crazy, and Sans right in front of the trio, complained before he tossed some bits of popcorn into his gaping mouth of doom. While everyone in the audience was waiting for the fight to start, Lissa climbed into the ring with a microphone in hand.

"Alright you two, I want a clean fight! Nothing below the non-existent belt!" Lissa exclaimed.

"Aunt Lissa?!" both of the Lucinas gasped. "What are you doing here?!"

"Oh, I was just having some fun in the area, heard there was a need for a referee, and, well, here I am! Now then, let's get this match started!" She then leaped out of the ring for the three announcers to take control.

"Hello, whoever you people are. My name is Arvis, and I'll be serving as one of your announcers today. Why? I'm afraid I the answer is quite lackluster, for it's just that some inane wretch named GengarFan3 forced me to do it. The madman mentioned something about some sort of "meta"... whatever the hell that is," Arvis stated as he sat with the other three announcers in the announcer booth that loomed over the seats and the ring.

"And I am the second announcer, King Harkinian of Hyrule," Harkinian introduced. "And our last announcer is a friend of a friend of mine, Zigzagoon!"

"Goon!" Zigzagoon happily chirped.

"And now that we have introductions out of the way..." the king muttered.

~Career Mode Menu stops as Boss - Rawk Hawk from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door starts~

"... LET'S GET READY TO RUMBLLLLLE!" he finished, with his voice sounding exactly like Michael Buffer. The two Lucinas then bolted for each other as the crowd went wild.

"I hope you're to get your face smashed into pieces, just like all those walls I've obliterated back in my day!" Bunny Lucina roared as she threw a few punches that Lucina barely dodged.

"Forget about that plan, because you're not stopping me!" Lucina shouted back before tossing a punch of her own that Bunny Lucina blocked.

"Looks like an even match so far! Care to add anything, Arvis?" Harkinian's voice boomed throughout the rest of the stadium.

"No, no I do not care," Arvis groaned.

"Hmph. How about you, Zigzagoon?"

"Zigzagoon! Goon!" Zigzagoon barked. Suddenly, blue auras flared around both Lucinas, causing the audience to gasp.

"ORA ORA ORA ORA!" Lucina yelled as she started throwing a flurry of punches.

"MUDA MUDA MUDA MUDA!" Bunny Lucina screamed as she did the same. Soon, the flurry of punches met, with all of the punches constantly cancelling each other out. It wasn't until Bunny Lucina manged to land a fist right into Lucina's face that the storm of punches ended from both sides. Afterwards, Bunny Lucina slammed an uppercut right into Lucina's jaw, sending her up into the air. Bunny Lucina jumped after her and swung both of her hands down, smashing Lucina right back into the ring. As the two Lucinas continued to brawl, some more trouble was brewing underneath the ring, for Weegee and Dr. Wily were there with a strange yet small machine.

"Perfect. This fight's already getting hectic," Weegee commented. "Wily, start up that Assist Trophy machine. It's time to bring this stadium and the rest of this place to the ground."

"With pleasure," Wily replied, activating the machine. As soon as it turned on, an Assist Trophy appeared on the stage.

"WOAH! Where'd that Assist Trophy come from?!" Duck Hunt Dog wondered.

"I don't know, but I do know that if an Assist Trophy is used outside of a regular Smash Bros. match... nearly anyone could be spawned from them," Meta Knight, who sat behind the dog, mentioned. After Meta Knight said that, Lucina crashed back down onto the ring again, quickly finding the Assist Trophy. Before Bunny Lucina could attack again, she rolled over to the trophy and grabbed it, unleashing Captain Falcon of all people from it.

"HOLD IT!" Phoenix Wright exclaimed from the crowd, preforming his signature "Hold It!" pose. "Isn't something like this against the rules?!"

"My rulebook doesn't mention anything about randomly summoning people to fight for the boxers," Lissa claimed, reading what was supposedly the rulebook, even though the book was actually "Make Him Fall For You In A Fortnight", for she never got an actual rulebook for her referee job. Bunny Lucina then landed on the stage again, but was surprised to find Captain Falcon standing between her and her counterpart. Falcon looked towards the "screen" and shrugged before taking action.

"FALCON... PUNCH!" Falcon shouted as he slammed his fiery knuckles right into Bunny Lucina's face, sending her flying out of the ring and right for the audience. Once she crashed right into one of the empty seats, the people around her panicked and ran for the exit. Falcon then leaped out of the ring and went back to his seat just before Bunny Lucina rushed back into the ring, still ready to fight.

"Oho! Seems like Lucina has got herself out of that rut! But where did that Assist Trophy come from?" King Harkinian's voice blared as the two Lucinas stared each other down.

"Looks like this machine is functioning properly, so I say we double production!" Wily chuckled to Weegee as Wily changed the settings of the machine from "Single Trophy" to "Multiple Trophies". Once the settings were switched, two Assist Trophies spawned in the ring, one for each Lucina.

~Boss - Rawk Hawk stops as Battle! Trainer from Pokémon Origins starts~

The Lucinas each took an Assist Trophy and raised them into the air. Lucina summoned the ever idiotic GengarFan3 while Bunny Lucina summoned a Magikarp. Both GengarFan3 and Magikarp stared deep into each others' souls before they lunged for each other. However, both of them skidded to a halt before they could crash into each other. GengarFan3 then tried to land a few kicks onto the Pokémon, but Magikarp barely evaded them by splashing around. Once GengarFan3 stopped kicking, Magikarp flew right at the mediocre crackfic author, attempting to use his Tackle attack.

~Battle! Trainer stops~

Which just so happened to be enough to take down the pathetic GengarFan3. Once the idiot fell down, Magikarp turned around as sunglasses somehow fell perfectly onto his face, with MLG airhorns blaring in the background.

~Battle! Trainer starts again~

But then Magikarp heard another Assist Trophy break open, with the airhorns abruptly ending at that moment. He turned around and screeched, for Lucina had summoned a Magikarp's worst enemy: a Pidgeot, the natural predator of the Fish Pokémon. Magikarp splashed for its life as Pidgeot flew at him. Right when it seemed like Pidgeot was about to grasp onto Magikarp with her talons, Magikarp slid underneath Bunny Lucina, forcing Pidgeot to capture the princess instead. While Pidgeot carried Bunny Lucina into the air above, Magikarp used this time to splash on out of the ring and the stadium. Once Pidgeot was high enough, she let go of Bunny Lucina, forcing her to fall back down to the ring. After a loud crash from her fall, Bunny Lucina was pummeled by Lucina's fists.

"Now this is more like it! Waa-haa-haa!" Wario cackled as he chewed his popcorn.


~Battle! Trainer stops again~

It was a calm day at Smashtopolis's Walhar- er, Wal Mart. Master Hand, Chrom, Robin, and Mario were all there, shopping for food and other goodies, even though they had all split up. Chrom followed Mario through the food section of the store, grabbing any sort of food and drinks they needed.

"Let's see... pizza, hamburger meat, Capri-Sun for Dark Pit, bananas..." Mario muttered, checking the list of food and drinks.

"And some fishsticks and rum!" Chrom added as he dumped a whole box of fishsticks plus a few bottles of rum into the shopping cart.

"Chrom, you know we aren't allowed to bring that rum stuff to the palace. Now go put those back," Mario stated. Chrom sighed before bending over to pick the rum bottles up. Before he could, Robin zipped on over, sweating like crazy.

"CHROM! YOU NEED TO SEE THIS!" the tactician exclaimed before she dragged Chrom on over to the electronics section, specifically in front of the huge wide screen TVs, where a small crowd had gathered. On the TVs was live footage of the boxing match, with Kellam helping ward off Bunny Lucina.

"Lucina in some sort of fight with another Lucina?! Lissa as the referee?! AND A ZIGZAGOON SERVING AS AN ANNOUNCER?! Gods, what the hell started all of this?!" Chrom exclaimed. Both of them then bolted out of the store to head right back to the Smash Grounds.


~Battle! Trainer starts yet again~

Things were getting a bit more chaotic. Thanks to the boxing match getting even more intense, the ring itself was getting badly beaten. Even the light fixture that stood above the ring, despite being raised to a high level than usual, was taking damage since the fight would occasionally end up on top of it. But the worse part was that GengarFan3 was running around the ring, waving around a sign that read "Vote For Hana For CYL: Round 2 in 2018", whatever the hell that meant. Either way, Spring Man was helping Bunny Lucina throw punches at Lucina, but eventually, Lucina managed to trick Spring Man into hitting Bunny Lucina, forcing him to leave the stadium out of sheer embarrassment.

"Why hasn't this hellhole fallen apart yet?!" Weegee groaned from below the ring. While he whined about the circumstances, another set of two Assist Trophies appeared in the ring. Both Lucinas grabbed on and summoned a character from them. For Bunny Lucina, Balloon Fighter spawned. For Lucina... Waluigi spawned, having been magically forced from his seat and into the ring thanks to the Assist Trophy's magic shenanigans.

"WAA! WALLY!" Wario cried out as Waluigi suddenly realized his predicament.

"HELLLLLOOOOO, NURSE!" Bunny Lucina cooed, lunging right for Waluigi. Lucina, not wanting Bunny Lucina to get her hands on him, also dashed for him. Waluigi screamed, but before either Lucina could get to him, Balloon Fighter swooped in and carried him out of the ring.

"Waa, thank you! Thank you so much!" Waluigi said to the fighter before Waluigi was placed back into his seat. Since Waluigi was out of their grasp, the two Lucinas went back to fighting. Another Assist Trophy appeared in the ring, which Lucina managed to grab and activate before Bunny Lucina could...

~Battle! Trainer stops with a record scratch~

... but the Assist Trophy actually warped Weegee from his hiding place underneath the ring and brought in inside the ring.

"WHAT?!" Weegee exclaimed... right before he got shot, knocking him down even though he was otherwise unharmed. The one who shot him was fucking Zigzagoon of all people, who held a special sniper rifle in his front paws. Before Weegee could get back up, Zigzagoon fired a magical ball of energy from the rifle, with the ball colliding right into a small part of the ring that laid before the evil meme. Upon impact, the magical ball transformed into a portal that lead back to Weegee's Island, sucking Weegee in. As soon as Weegee fell in, Dr. Wily came out of his hiding spot and leaped into the ring.

"Don't forget me!" Wily shouted as he dove into the portal, which disappeared as soon as the mad scientist stepped in. Everyone in the stadium, sans Bunny Lucina, Zigzagoon, and... Sans, just stared at the spot the portal was at, confused as to what just happened.

"... Well... that was... most intriguing," Lucina remarked. An Assist Trophy then suddenly opened thanks to Bunny Lucina, dragging everyone's attention to her. However, Lucina could barely see any of Bunny Lucina, for Heavy King, the leader of the Hard Boiled Heavies stood between Lucina and her happy-go-lucky and flirty counterpart. In the Heavy King's hands was the Phantom Ruby, a jewel of reality-warping powers, that he stole from Classic Eggman just seconds prior to being summoned.

"Hey! Are you just going to sit there and stare at her or are you going to help me kick her arse?!" Bunny Lucina growled at Heavy King. The robotic king turned towards her, an angry look in its eyes. Not wanting to obey orders, Heavy King just stayed put until Lucina attacked him from behind, forcing him to let go of the Phantom Ruby. The ruby took a short flight through the air until it smacked Bunny Lucina on her bunny-adorned head... which in turn accidentally caused a reality warp. The iconic sound of the Phantom Ruby's reality warping filled the stadium the colors of everything within the building became inverted. Heavy King fled with many of the others, leaving only the two Lucinas, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy, Lucario, Meta Knight, Duck Hunt Dog, Snake, Toad, Sans, and the announcers behind.

~Ruby Illusions from Sonic Mania starts to play~

The color inversion quickly ended, but once it did, Bunny Lucina morphed into a larger being, for the Phantom Ruby had fused with her. Despite having the same human body, huge butterfly wings had sprouted out of her back, and the bunny hat, now with an angry expression on its face, had broken hearts for its eyes instead of the beady, black eyes it usually had.

"WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?! WHY THE HELL IS THAT?!" Arvis hollered in, strangely enough, Markiplier's voice, shocked by Bunny Lucina's new appearance.

"AHAHAHA! YES! PERFECT!" Bunny Lucina cackled. "NOW I'M MORE THAN CAPABLE OF TAKING DOWN THIS INFERIOR ME AND WINNING WALUIGI'S HEART! BOW DOWN TO YOUR NEW WIFE! YOUR WIFE NAMED PHANTOM LUCINA! HAHAHA!" Phantom Lucina then fired a blast of energy from her hand, blasting Lucina out of the stadium before chasing after her counterpart. Once both Lucinas had left, Harkinian, Zigzagoon, Arvis met up with the others who stayed inside the building.


"Thanks for the pointless info, fleabag! Now tell us something that matters!" Wario demanded.

"How about we just chase after that thing before we do anything else?!" Meta Knight suggested before a fight could break out. He then rushed out of the stadium, forcing everyone else to follow.


~Ruby Illusions stops~

The Smash Grounds was becoming a hellhole. Nearly everyone was panicking, Phantom Lucina kept destroying everything as she tried to get rid of Lucina, and fires began to spread. However, Dr. Eggman, Metal Sonic, Mecha Sonic, and the same Eggrobo that Shadow met at Green Hill Zone during the Sanic incident were perfectly fine with the situation, sneaking around the grounds.

"Mwuahahaha! Excellent! Look at all this chaos! With all the madness going on, we can easily kidnap people and bring them to the Death Egg!" Eggman chuckled maniacally as Metal Sonic just shook his head.

"Sure, and it will only risk us our lives. Have you not realized that this place is practically a warzone right now?!" Metal Sonic informed his creator.

"Fear not, my magnum opus! I, Dr. Ivo Eggman, will brave us through the chaos and utilize it to our own advantage! Nothing can stop the man with the master plan! NOTHING!" Eggman claimed... before he and Eggrobo got sucked up into a giant rocket launcher...

~The Air Of Brutality from Fire Emblem Echoes: Shadows Of Valentia starts to play~

... that was being held within Phantom Lucina's grasp. Both Metal and Mecha Sonic intensely stared at the giant woman, with Mecha Sonic in a battle stance. After a few seconds, Mecha Sonic began to float in the air...

~The Air Of Brutality stops~

... but Metal Sonic fled from the scene, flying towards the gates of the grounds, not because of fear, but rather because Metal Sonic didn't care enough about Eggman to try and save him from something like that. Both Mecha Sonic and Phantom Lucina stared at Metal as he flew away, with Mecha Sonic sighing at his fellow Sonic robot's actions.

"Well... if he isn't bothering, I don't see why I should," Mecha Sonic remarked before teleporting away from the grounds before Phantom Lucina flew after a panicking Toad and continued to spread the chaos. Just as Phantom Lucina vanished, Lucina, who was back in her usual attire with the Parallel Falchion in hand, arrived where her counterpart once stood. Soon after, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Lucario, Crazy Hand, Snake, Duck Hunt Dog, Meta Knight, Zigzagoon, Harkinian, and Arvis showed up, and just seconds after that, Professor E. Gadd, Chrom, and Robin arrived as well.


"Well... it all started when she leaped out of a portal that cam-" Lucina began, getting interrupted by Wario.

~Destiny, Help Us from Fire Emblem Fates starts to play~

"Waa, it doesn't matter how all this stupid stuff began! We gotta get rid of that punk's power before she destroys this joint!"

"Right. We can save this topic for another time. First, we have to come up with a plan to steal that ruby from her grasp. Robin, Elvin, your the smartest ones here. Got any plans?" Meta Knight asked.

"Hmm... so it's a magical ruby granting that other Lucina her powers?" E. Gadd questioned as he pulled out his newest version of the Poltergust. "Oyamaa! Then we can try out my new Poltergust CHAOS! After that Sanic fellow kidnapped Sonic, I made this in case those Chaos Emeralds ended up in the wrong hands again. Just a little bit of suction, and OYAMAA! The emeralds get sucked out of whoever absorbed them! Maybe, just maybe, it can suck the ruby out of this Lucina impostor as well!"

"And if that doesn't work?!" Lucario inquired.

"Then I suppose we'll just have to resort to killing this other Lucina," Robin stated. "I'm sure with the power of the two Falchions and everyone else's strengths combined, we can slay her and end this chaos. But first we'll need some of us to gather up the strongest of those still here."

"Pass," Arvis said, walking his way out of the grounds. As he took his first step outside the gates, Lucario punted him into the darkening sky, forcing the emperor of Grannvale to scream.

"... So, who's going to get all the losers?" Waluigi asked Robin.

"Hmm... everyone but Chrom, Lucina, Elvin, Wario, Waluigi, Meta Knight, and I. Who all shall gather everyone," the female tactician answered.

"Heck no! I'm going to fight that thing if Wario and Waluigi are!" Falco insisted.

"Yeah, same here! I'mma fight too!" Crazy replied while spazzing a bit.

"Well... fine. But everyone else, go chase after our strongest!" The rest of the gang then ran off, hoping that they didn't end up encountering Phantom Lucina during their search.

"So why'd ya want us to fight that ugly thing, huh?!" Wario wondered.

"It's simple. You have a vehicle that can reach incredible speed. If you drive around this "Phantom" Lucina, you may be able to help distract it while Elvin either drains her of the ruby or while the rest of us fight her," Robin replied.

"So that's the plan then?" Meta Knight asked.

"Indeed. Now then, let's take that "phantom" down!" Robin roared.


~Destiny, Help Us stops~

The sky was starting to turn dark red as Phantom Lucina clung to the top of the Prism Tower replica, holding onto Yoshi, Dr. Mario, Donkey and Donkey Kong.

"This is embarrassing!" Donkey Kong cried as the other two tried to squirm free.

"Yeah! Now I'm going to have the disgusting scent of a donk-" Dr. Mario tried to say even though Yoshi intervened.

"Wow! Look at that!"

~Lethal Highway from Shadow The Hedgehog starts to play~

What was distracting Yoshi just so happened to be Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, E. Gadd, and Meta Knight. Wario, Waluigi, and Gadd were drawing near in the Wario Car, Falco ran on his feet, and Crazy and Meta Knight flew as fast as they could. However, Yoshi's words brought Phantom Lucina's attention over to the six. In response, she used the Phantom Ruby's powers to magically lift the giant rocket launcher before it fired, spewing out the Blue Egg, Eggman, Eggrobo, a Blissey, and a storm of ordinary eggs. While the noteworthy threats such as Eggman and the Blue Egg missed their targets, the regular eggs hit all over the Wario Car. One of the even smacked Waluigi in the face, leaving its icky contents to slide down.

"Some "wife" that punk is," Waluigi complained as Eggman and Eggrobo fell to the ground. Eggman landed just fine somehow though Eggrobo cracked upon impact... leaking out the inner contents of an egg. Once they landed, Metal and Mecha Sonic returned to take them back to safety.

"DAMN! LOOKS LIKE IT'S TIME FOR PLAN B!" Phantom Lucina screeched. She then summoned a Birdo from a portal. A Birdo who was fucking pissed.

"YOU MUST DIE!" Birdo shouted in CD-I Ganon's voice before shooting out another storm of eggs. Everybody had to serve around the eggs, and just barely pulled it off before the dinosaur had to rest for a moment.

"Falco! You take care of that Birdo, now!" Meta Knight commanded.

"Heh. It'll be a piece of bread," Falco stated, stopping in his tracks as he pulled out both his Blaster and his laser-pooping gum, firing lasers from both of them. Just as Birdo was about to fire again, two of the lasers zipped into her mouth. Birdo froze for a second before a stream of fire blew out of her mouth-nose thing.

"SOMEONE PUT IT OUT!" Birdo screamed. Phantom Lucina groaned, trying to think of who else to summon, but her thoughts came to a sudden stop once Crazy and Meta Knight began to fly around her. She tried to smack them away with the hand that held her four captives, for she had forgotten that she had them in the first place. The four fell until they were rescued. For Yoshi, Dr. Mario, and Donkey Kong, Crazy was their rescuer, while Donkey was saved by his good friend Shrek. Once Shrek and Donkey landed on the ground, they ran into a portal that lead them back to Shrek's swamp that spawned out of nowhere, with portal vanished as soon as they entered it.

"BEGONE, LOWER LIFEFORMS!" Phantom Lucina hollered, still attempting to smack Meta Knight down. Meanwhile, Wario parked the Wario Car right behind the tower, with E. Gadd leaping out of it.

"You two stay put! If she spots me before I suck that ruby out, I'll need to hitch another ride," Elvin said. He activated the Poltergust CHAOS, setting it to the "Super Succ" setting. It took a while, but the machine was slowly managing to suck the Phantom Ruby out of Phantom Lucina... who unfortunately noticed the power being drained from her. She was about to turn around to deal with the professor, but a voice stopped her from doing so.

~Lethal Highway stops as John Cena's theme starts eleven seconds in~

"AND HER NAME IS LU-CINA!" the idiotic voice shouted as Chrom, Lucina, and Robin ran towards Phantom Lucina, the three having rode the stage's platform to the top of the stage. Before Phantom Lucina could react, Chrom and Lucina stabbed the giant woman in the nose with their Falchions, causing her to do nothing but scream until the Phantom Ruby was sucked out of her. Once it was sucked out, a bright light flashed through the area, blinding everyone.


~John Cena's theme stops~

An hour after all the end of Phantom Lucina, the chaos was finally dwindling down. The heroes that ended the madness, as well as Harkinian, Zigzagoon, Master Hand, and Mario, were gathered around a limping Bunny Lucina.

"I... really am sorry for all that. And I thank you for removing that ruby from my mind. That thing really drove me out of control," Bunny Lucina stated, telling the truth.

"Shut your mouth!" Waluigi growled, giving her a slap on the face.

"Yeah, shut it, loser!" Wario added, dishing out another slap. "You nearly destroyed us all!"

"Ugh... and this is why I need to stop leaving this place," Master Hand groaned as Wario hoisted Bunny Lucina over his head, ready to chuck her out of the grounds.

"Hang on. Some... bewildering voice shouted something about Lucina before we stabbed that Phantom Lucina in the nose. Who was responsible for that?" Chrom wondered.

"ME!" the fucking stupid GengarFan3 shouted, waving his arm around like a moron... until Lissa smacked him on the head with a large bell, killing him... for only the time being, unfortunately.

Chapter Text

Episode 14: A Splash Down Under (Part 1)

NOVEMBER 22nd, 2016

The entire Smash Bros. playable cast, including Waluigi, a few other Assist Trophy characters, Crazy Hand, Metal Mario, Metal Luigi, and even Professor E. Gadd were riding in a giant bus, with the bus driver being Master Hand. The bus was flying through a portal, a portal that would take them to a location that Master Hand was keeping a surprise.

"This purple portal thingy sure is WAA-nderful!" Waluigi said, looking out his and Wario's window.

"How is a portal supposed to be wonderful? It's a maddening circle of... madness!" Lucario, who was sitting in front of the brothers with Meta Knight, asked.

"Yeah, all a portal does is make me question my already questionable existence," Crazy muttered, sitting behind the brothers with Falco. While Wario, Waluigi, Lucario, Falco, and Crazy continued to chat about portals, existences, and alternate universes about freaky crews fighting for Hot Topic, Pichu, who was in the seat behind Master Hand, despite her Game Boy Color's entertainment value, grew impatient.

"How much longer until we get to this secret place?!" the little rodent squeaked.

"It should be any minute now..." Master Hand quietly replied, keeping his eyes on the path ahead. As soon as he finished his answer, a small yet bright light appeared a small distance away from ahead of the bus. "Ah, there it is! The light at the end of the tunnel!"

... And, thanks to Master Hand's poor choice of words, most of the bus riders began to panic, screeching and flailing their arms about.

"NOT THAT KIND OF LIGHT AT THE END OF THE TUNNEL!" Master Hand assured, silencing most of the panicking riders aside from Wario, Falco, and Crazy. However, even they shut up as soon as the bus exited the portal and arrived at someplace that had slightly cloudy, blue skies. Fox took a better look out the window, finding that the bus was floating above a large body of water.

"Uh... why are we above the ocean?" the space pilot asked. Once Fox pointed that fact out, many others who sat right next to windows peered out to see the ocean's gray waves. While most of them were just as confused as Fox, Crazy knew just where they were since he spotted an island with three palm trees in the midst of the ocean. And once he figured out what was going on, he began to shudder with excitement.

"We're... WE'RE..." the hand excitedly muttered, scaring Falco a bit.

"Uh... Crazy, whatever you're psyched about, please chill a little..." Falco replied, dashing over to the seat across, squishing both Chrom and Lucina.

"WE'RE... ABOVE... BIKINI BOTTOM!" the inane hand squealed before flying out of his seat and up to the front of the bus.

"CRAZY, NO, SIT BACK DOWN!" Master Hand ordered, though Crazy ignored said orders and blasted right out of the bus's doors. He then dived right into the deep blue sea, ready to have some fun.


~Bikini Bottom from SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle For Bikini Bottom starts to play~

"Ah, Bikini Bottom," the french narrator said as his submarine floated over the underwater town. "Such a beautifully interesting town. With all of its aquatic inhabitants, there's rarely a boring day here. Come now, let's all take a quick tour through the town." The narrator then piloted his submarine on over to the Krusty Krab. In front of the restaurant was Old Man Jenkins, who kept knocking on the front doors, waiting for someone to let him in, even though the Krusty Krab was closed due to Krabs going on a business trip. Right next to the Krusty Krab was a construction site, building what would soon be the Krusty Krab 2.

"C'mon, let me in! I just want something to eat!" the short, fat, and green old man demanded.

"The Krusty Krab. The only home of the delicious Krabby Patty, as well as the secondary home of a cheapskate crustacean. But right across the street lies another restaurant..."

The submarine then slowly approached the Chum Bucket that sat on the other side of the road. Three hooded figures waited by the front doors until Plankton opened the doors.

"Come in, come in!" Plankton greeted. The three then walked inside, with Plankton slammed the two doors shut once they entered.

"... the Chum Bucket. Home to nothing but terrible chum, one of the most evil villains in Bikini Bottom who goes by the name Sheldon J. Plankton, and most importantly... a vile, mysterious odor. I've even smelt Plankton's chum before, and even the chum didn't smell that bad, so I guess it's from Plankton himself. Oh well! Onto the next stop!"

The narrator then forced the submarine to go at full speed, causing it to fly over numerous other places in Bikini Bottom, such as Mrs. Puff's Boating School, the Sea Needle, and the Palace Of Pranks until it finally arrived at its next destination: Jellyfish Fields.

"AAAAAH! MOMMY, HELP ME! SAVE ME!" Kevin C. Cucumber screamed as he ran away from an army of Jellyfish that was lead by the King Jellyfish.

"And here we are. Jellyfish Fields. The grasslands that the Jellyfish call home. Here, we see an idiotic Holothuroidea run from the almighty Cnidaria Rex and his Medusozoa follo- What? What do you mean this isn't what you came to Bikini Bottom for?! Oh, right, him... of course. Let us go!"

The submarine then flew off again, this time buzzing over Sandy's Treedome, Make Out Reef, where Master Hand parked the bus after diving into the ocean, and Glove World before finally arriving at the main attraction: SpongeBob's pineapple.

"And yes, he still lives in a pineapple, you sillies. Now enjoy,"

~Bikini Bottom stops~

Outside of the pineapple was SpongeBob himself, sitting in the sand with Patrick Star.

"I'm so bored," Patrick complained.

"And we've done nearly everything today! We blew bubbles, we played with our Mermaid Man and Barnacle Boy action figures, we even played with that new Goofy Goober guitar I got last week!" SpongeBob replied.

"Hmm... Oh! We could try to eat that sub that's flying over us!" Patrick suggested, pointing at the French narrator's underwater vehicle.

"No... wait! I got it!" SpongeBob exclaimed, pulling out a book called "The History Of Nuclear Testing At The Bikini Atoll From 1946 - 1958". "We could read this book Sandy gave me!" Patrick's "neck" then extended, taking his head closer to the book. He squinted his eyes and stared directly at the book for a few seconds before his "neck" moved back into place.

"Nuclear radiation? Is that why I'm not intelligent?"

"Um... er, how about we just start reading!" SpongeBob opened the book up to the first page, but as soon as he did, a small earthquake started, with almost all of Bikini Bottom shaking.

"Oooooh yeah... feels good..." Patrick moaned.

"Why's the ground shaking?" SpongeBob wondered, turning his head all over to look for the source of the quakes. The quakes then stopped suddenly just like how they started, but a pile of sand arose behind SpongeBob once the quakes did cease. "And what's with that pile of sand?"

"Well, only one way to find out," Patrick said. He got up and walked over to the pile of sand before laying a single hand onto it. "Touch."

"Patrick, how's touching it supposed t-" Suddenly, Crazy Hand rose out of the sand pile, interrupting SpongeBob and forcing the sponge to let out a small scream as he jumped onto his feet.

"Hooray, it's a giant flounder!" Patrick squealed.

"Patrick, that's not a giant flounder! That's a giant hand!"

"Yes I am! I think... Oh well! Hey there, Spon-" Crazy said before he realized that both SpongeBob and Patrick started running away, screeching rather loudly.

~Hen Pecker by the Surfdusters starts to play~

"HOLD IT! WAIT FOR ME!" Crazy cried out, flying after the two friends.

"AH! He's after us! Keep running Patrick!" SpongeBob commanded. The two ran down Conch Street, right in the middle of the rarely used road. However, not long after they started trekking through the road, boats started flying at them from ahead. The two buddies somehow managed to avoid all the incoming traffic, even though the boats didn't stop or move out of the way for them. One of the boat drivers, Fred the fish, turned his head around to get another look at SpongeBob and Patrick as he kept on driving.

"What's with those nutjobs? What are they so hyped up about?" Fred wondered aloud before he put his attention back on the road. As soon as he did, he saw Crazy right in front of him and let out a shriek before his boat crashed right into the incoming hand. Fred then flew right out of his boat, landing on the road, legs first. The pain from the crash caused him to scream out his iconic "My leg!" catchphrase and hold dearly onto his legs. The other boats served out of the way as Crazy came through, with some of the drivers screaming things along the lines of "roadhog", "maniac", and "KnuckleheadMcSpazatron" as he passed them. Once that short herd of traffic, the road was clear as could be for the three idiots for a good while.


On a different spot on Conch Street's road, Sonic, who wasn't wearing a helmet to help him breathe, looked around for Crazy, turning his head all over the place.

"Hmm... maybe I need a bird's eye view to find that stupid hand. And since Tails isn't here..." the hedgehog muttered before using the Spring Jump technique to somehow summon a spring underneath, forcing him up into the higher waters. Once he got high enough though, since he lacked a helmet, he drowned, but thankfully for him, he had a back-up life, allowing him to reappear at the bus. His spring however still remained in the road as SpongeBob and Patrick came along.

"Quick Patrick! Onto that spring!" SpongeBob commanded as they approached.

"That's a spring? It looks like some sorta red mushroom with a star on it!" Patrick remarked. The two then jumped onto it, allowing them to go even higher than Sonic. The buddies even escaped from the water and flew up into the blue skies above the sea. Soon enough, they started to fall back down, but instead of ending up back in the sea, they landed on an extra large surfboard that already had another rider, that rider being Funky Kong.

"You two bodacious dudes better hang on!" Funky told them before he somehow managed to cause the surfboard to jump, followed by making the board spin like a tornado. The tornado spin caused SpongeBob and Patrick to fall off, forcing them back into the ocean.

"Ugh! At least I think we lost that giant hand," SpongeBob stated. Patrick tapped on his pal's head, grabbing his attention before pointing back down, showing that Crazy was flying after them. After the two let out a short yet loud screech, Patrick grabbed onto SpongeBob's legs and yanked onto them, somehow elongating them. Patrick then spun SpongeBob around like a lasso before chucking his friend at the nearby Sea Needle while Patrick still held onto SpongeBob's legs, dragging them both. The two ended up within the interior of the orange ring part of the Sea Needle, flying in through one of the ring's windows... and even flew right into a cannon that was already ignited. Seconds later, the cannon fired both of them right back out of the Sea Needle, causing even more screaming.


Old Man Jenkins was still waiting outside the Krusty Krab, sitting on the cold, wet ground. His stomach rumbled as he put both of his hands there.

"Ooooh... I just want something to eat! Why won't they let me in?!" the old man complained moments before SpongeBob and Patrick landed face-first into the sand right in front of him. Both of them swiftly got onto their feet and rushed over to the front doors of the Krusty Krab.

"Oh, if only the Krusty Krab wasn't closed today, we could hide out in here!" SpongeBob mentioned before hatching an idea. "Wait! Patrick, flatten me, right now!"

"Right!" Patrick leaped up into the higher waters, with SpongeBob looking up at his friend as he went up.

"Uh, Patrick? Why and how are y-" SpongeBob began before getting crushed by a brown, stone steamroller that Patrick was standing on top of while beating his chest like he was an ape.

"SPIDERS!" Patrick roared as SpongeBob, now as thin as paper, slid out from underneath the rock and into the Krusty Krab through the small gap between the glass doors and the ground before popping back into his usual shape. SpongeBob then swung one of the doors open, letting both Patrick and Old Man Jenkins in.

~Hen Peckers stops~

"It's a good thing Mr. Krabs got rid of that bucket of gas he had for security measures!" SpongeBob stated as he and Patrick ran right into the kitchen, looking for a spot to hide in there, while Old Man Jenkins walked on over to the cash register.

"Hey! Aren't you two gonna take my order?!" Jenkins hollered, even though his words essentially just fell on deaf ears.

~Graveyard by Johnny Pearson starts to play~

"Quick, into the freezer!" SpongeBob ordered Patrick. The two stepped on over to the door leading to the freezer, but stopped as soon as they saw something strange that was within the freezer via the freezer door's window: it was none other than a frozen Squidward, sitting within the chilly room, waiting for freedom.

"Oh darn, Squidward's already using it," Patrick pointed out. "And I thought he wasn't supposed to be using it until March 6th of next year!"

"Whatever! We'll just hide in the cupboards then!" SpongeBob said as he swung the metallic cupboards' doors open, revealing that Sans the skeleton was in there for some reason.

"'Sup?" Sans simply asked.

"Ah geez, even Smitty Warben Man Jensen's taken one of our hiding spots!" SpongeBob complained.

"Smitty who?" Sans inquired before SpongeBob slammed the cupboard doors shut.

~Graveyard stops~

That's when the sounds of the Krusty Krab's front doors squeaking filled the entire restaurant. SpongeBob nervously gulped before tiptoeing over to the window leading out to the dinning area.

"I want food!" Old Man Jenkins continued to rant about as SpongeBob peered through the window to get a good look at the front doors... and saw Crazy Hand slowly float in.

And Crazy saw SpongeBob.

"AH! HE'S HERE AND HE SEES ME!" the sponge cried out. Both him and Patrick then panicked, running around aimlessly while screaming.

"Please don't leave this time!" Crazy begged as he floated over to the kitchen. But before the hand could enter the kitchen, Old Man Jenkins got in the way.

"Hey, no cutting! I was here first!"

"I'm not cutting, I just want to talk t-"

And then Old Man Jenkins slapped the giant hand. A slap that hit hard enough that it actually brought pain upon him.

"OW! What the he-"

~Battle! Lugia from Pokémon Heart Gold/ Soul Silver starts to play~

Suddenly, a blue aura emitted from the elderly fish. Crazy could feel the immense power from Old Man Jenkins. Even the Krusty Krab itself shook just oh so slightly as the aura blazed on.

"If you want to get ahead of me, then you're going to have to defeat me first!" Old Man Jenkins stated.

"Ah, a brawl is surely brewing under the sea," the French narrator remarked as the old fish got into a battle stance, waiting for the narrator to let them begin the fight. "And begin!" Old Man Jenkins the lunged at the giant hand before landing a flurry of rapid punches onto him. Once he stopped throwing punches, Old Man Jenkins landed a heavy kick the forced Crazy all the way back over to the Krusty Krab's front doors.

"Hadoken!" Old Man Jenkins shouted as he someone launched one of the iconic "fireball" at Crazy. Crazy grabbed onto the Hadoken once it got close, obliterating it without getting himself hurt in the process. While Old Man Jenkins kept attacking the insane hand, SpongeBob and Patrick kept panicking... until Patrick realized something important.

"Say SpongeBob, can't we just walk out the kitchen door?" Patrick pointed out while literally pointing at the door.

~Battle! Lugia stops with a record scatch~

SpongeBob stared right a Patrick and the kitchen exit for a bit, wondering how and why he didn't think of that.

"Oh yeah." The two then raced out the kitchen exit as quickly and as loudly as possible, catching the attention of Crazy and Old Man Jenkins.

"... They left, didn't they?" Old Man Jenkins asked the weirdo hand.


"They were never planning on giving my food either?"

"99.9 percent most likely."


And then silence as the two just stood there.


Until Old Man Jenkins put on a cowboy hat. After that, the elderly fish crawled on top of Crazy Hand.

"Giddy up! Get along, little doggie, get along! We're going after those lazy youth!" Old Man Jenkins ordered, slapping the hand. Crazy obeyed and plowed right into the kitchen and right through the kitchen exit, leaving a trail of kicked up sand in his wake.

*One bubble transition later*

Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Duck Hunt Dog, all wearing helmets to breathe underwater, were walking up to Squidward Tentacles's house to see if he's seen Crazy Hand.

"Isn't this guy supposed to just be a grouch?" Duck Hunt asked just as they stopped at the door.

"Waa, who cares. Just knock on the door already," Wario said. Waluigi knocked twice before Squidward opened the door.

~Comic Walk by Sidney Torch starts to play~

"Hello an- WAIT! You two plumbers! Aren't you two the ones who barged in on my bath that one time I was stuck in that stupid Gmod game?!" Squidward asked the Wario Bros.

"What?" was all DHD could ask.

"Er, nevermind that. I have a more important question: why do you look like the even uglier cousin of that Barnacle Moron or whatever his name is, purple one?"

"Hey! We're friends with that guy, and we won't tolerate such mud being slung at him!" Waluigi growled.

"Wario, who's this barnacle guy and since when did you know him?" Falco quietly questioned.

"That's a long one, I'll explain later," Wario replied.

"Tone your voice down! I have eardrums that need to be in perfect condition! Now shut your trap and leave, big nose!" Squidward snarled at Waluigi.

"No! You shut up, pingas nose!" Waluigi demanded.

"Pi... What?! What's that stupid p word supposed to mean?!" Squidward angrily inquired.

"What, pingas?" Wario replied, grabbing onto his overalls. "Here, let me show ya what it means!" The fat moron then ripped his overalls and underwear off, exposing his lower end. Squidward shrieked, horrified by the disturbing sight, before slamming the door shut, covering his eyes, and going upstairs to take a shower to cleanse himself and his eyes.

"... I didn't need to see that," Duck Hunt Dog complained as Wario put his clothes back on. "And more importantly, we just screwed over any chances of getting any info out of him.

"Let's head over to that Jellyfish Fields place and see if Crazy's there," Falco suggested. Once Wario got all of his clothes on, the four then walked away from the house, leaving Squidward to cleanse himself in peace.


~Comic Walk stops as Boss Race from Diddy Kong Racing starts~

SpongeBob and Patrick were running through the outskirts of Bikini Bottom, still trying to escape from Crazy. The two invertebrates soon passed by seven Moai heads whose heads turned as soon as the two passed, looking at them while the ran away. Seconds later, Crazy and Old Man Jenkins ran by, catching up to SpongeBob and Patrick.

"How are we going to lose the giant hand flounder thingy?!" Patrick asked. Just when SpongeBob was about to state that he had no idea, the sponge spotted an abandoned boat a little ways ahead of them.

"Quick, into the boat!" SpongeBob said. Both of them dived in, with Patrick taking control of the wheel as SpongeBob sitting in the single passenger seat. Patrick then floored it, causing the boat to blaze away from the two pursuers. Old Man Jenkins started to slap Crazy again as the boat raced out their sight.

"Giddy up! Mush! We'll never catch them at this rate!" the old man demanded. In order to catch up, Crazy curled his fingers up, forming a fist, before blasting ahead, slowly but surely catching up to SpongeBob and Patrick. Before the two could catch up to the sponge or the starfish, Patrick managed to safely yet quickly park the boat right in front of Glove World. The two ocean dwellers crawled out of the vehicle and rushed inside, swiftly paying for tickets and everything.

~Boss Race stops~

Once inside the big amusement park, SpongeBob and Patrick ran right into the closest Port-O-Head to hide from the two maniacs.

"What are we gonna do SpongeBob? We can't keep running!" Patrick questioned.

"I know. That's why we're going to hide in the one place they won't ever look... Rock Bottom," SpongeBob answered, bringing out a gasp from his best friend.

"But SpongeBob! That place is scary!"

"Yes Patrick, but we've been there before, and we can make it out of there again. All we gotta do is wait until the coast is clear, and then we run out, get some balloons, and head straight for Rock Bottom!" As the two continued to talk within the Port-O-Head, Crazy and Old Man Jenkins quietly walked just a small distance from the portable bathroom.

"Where are those confounded youth?!" Jenkins growled.

"Hey look, it's Glovey Glove!" one of the fish children cried out, mistaking Crazy for Glove World's mascot. Within mere seconds, lots of children gathered around the big hand.

"Sorry kids, but I'm not Glovey Glove," Crazy honestly stated, though the children refused to believe the truth. SpongeBob peeked out through a small hole on the Port-O-Head's side to catch a glimpse of the commotion.

"The hand's distracted! If we walk out quietly, we can sneak over to the balloon stand and get what we need," SpongeBob told Patrick before swiftly exiting the old Port-O-Head and heading over to the stand that was selling the Glove World themed balloons. Just after the duo got their balloons, Old Man Jenkins spotted them.

~This Way Out... For Prison Lane from Sonic Adventure 2 starts to play~

"There's the lazy youth! After them!" the old man shouted, pointing at the duo. Both of them screamed and make a break for it as Crazy and Old Man Jenkins gave chase. The chase soon brought the four into Glove World's mirror maze, with Crazy and Jenkins quickly losing sight of SpongeBob and Patrick. The two weirdos wandered around the maze for a bit until Old Man Jenkins stopped in front of a huge mirror, gazing right at the duplicate of him. "Hey! Stop existing, impersonator!"

"No! You're the fake Jenkins! YOU should be the one to stop existing!" the Old Man Jenkins in the mirror hollered back. The two Old Man Jenkins then started throwing punches at each other. Yes, even the one in the mirror dished out some punches. While the two old men duked it out, Crazy kept looking around for SpongeBob and Patrick. After a few seconds, the absurd hand caught them trying to sneak through the maze's single entrance and exit.

"There they are!" Crazy squealed, grabbing Old Man Jenkins before flying after the two. SpongeBob and Patrick screamed again, dashing right out of the maze and heading straight for the Glove World exit. The two barnacle heads had to dodge many fish entering and exiting the theme park. Once the two managed to get through the exit, they bailed right into one of the submarine buses.

"Hurry! Start heading for Rock Bottom!" SpongeBob instructed the bus driver, an anchovy, who responded with a series of meeps that translated into "Then sit your donkey butt down then!" as Patrick took a seat right next to the front of the bus.

~This Way Out... stops~

SpongeBob joined his pink companion, with SpongeBob poking his head through the open window just as Crazy and Old Man Jenkins drew near. Before either of the weirdos could climb in, the bus's door slammed shut.

"Quit haunting us, you big hand thing!" SpongeBob demanded as the bus started driving down to Rock Bottom. Both Crazy and Old Man Jenkins just sat there, with the hand letting SpongeBob's words sink in.

"I guess I'll just eat at the Chum Bucket," Old Man Jenkins moaned before sluggishly moving away from the scene. Meanwhile, Crazy had just taken in everything SpongeBob said...

~Stack Of Leis by Kapono Beamer starts to play~

... and got really upset. His body even somehow deflated as he slammed down onto the ground, forcing him to utilize his fingers to crawl away from Glove World. He kept crawling, even as Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Duck Hunt Dog approached him.

"Uh... Crazy? What's the matter, buddy?" DHD questioned as the hand slowly passed them.

"I... I accidentally scared SpongeBob and Patrick and now they hate me..." Crazy quietly answered. "Now they're in Rock Bottom, hiding from me. I'll just... I'll just head back to the bus and cry for the rest of the time we're stuck here..." The four watched as he crawled away from them before looking at each other.

"Man, poor Crazy... I didn't think something like this would ever happen," Falco said.

"Waa... yeah. Now what're we gonna do?" Wario asked his three friends.

~Stack Of Leis stops~

The four stopped to think for a bit. Wario scratched his butt, Waluigi tapped his foot, Duck Hunt Dog paced in a circle, and Falco consulted a loaf of bread for an answer. Seconds later, Duck Hunt Dog realized what had to be done.

~Up She Rises by Sam Spence starts twenty six seconds in~

"No. We're not just going to let Crazy's trip get ruined because of one mistake he made," Duck Hunt Dog said. "We're going to head to this Rock Bottom place, no matter how scary it might be, explain everything to those two, and brighten Crazy's day! Now who's with me?!"

"I am!" Wario exclaimed.

"Me too! Waa!" Waluigi replied.

"Count me in!" Falco stated.

"Good! Now then, Wario! Did you somehow bring the Wario Car?!"

"I always carry it along for the ride!" Wario answered, pointing at one of the overall's pockets that were on his butt, where a shrunken down Wario Car awaited. The car grew back to its usual size after Wario pulled it out from the pocket and laid it down on the road. "All aboard the Wario Car!" The four then jumped into the car, Waluigi landing face first into the front passenger seat, Falco and Duck Hunt Dog taking the back seats, and Wario obviously taking the wheel. While Waluigi squirmed around while upside down, Wario floored it. The Wario Car bolted down the road, eventually passing the "You Are Now Leaving Bikini Bottom" sign. Moments after that, the Wario Car arrived at the edge leading to Rock Bottom...

~Up She Rises stops~

... even going as far as driving slightly over the edge, stopping right in midair before falling down, down, down to the bottom of the sea, somehow landing without either the car or the passengers getting hurt.

"... Wonderful," Duck Hunt Dog said.

~Rock Bottom from SpongeBob SquarePants: Battle For Bikini Bottom starts to play~

Wario then drove the Wario Car out of the road before turning it off. The four leaped out of the car and looked around, taking in the bizarre environment of the dark trench. The living pile of green soil that was slowly crawling across the road. The green, mono-eyed fish that snagged a Kelp Nougat Crunch bar from the "Kandy" machine just as another bus drove through the road, running over the living soil, who somehow managed to survive the impact of the bus's wheels. The purple eel that slithered its way into the Rock Bottom Bus Station.

"Heh, this place isn't that scary," Falco remarked, crossing his arms.

"Let's see..." Duck Hunt Dog muttered as he and Waluigi examined a map of Rock Bottom that was painted onto a small billboard. "Rock Bottom Bus Station, Rock Bottom Museum, Trench Of Advanced Darkness... where could those two possibly be?"

"They're stuck to the back of this billboard," Wario claimed, causing the other three to walk over to the back.

"Wario, there's no way they're behind thi-" Duck Hunt Dog said...

~Rock Bottom stops~

... until he saw that SpongeBob and Patrick actually were clinging to the back of the billboard.

"I knew we should've hid in the candy machine," Patrick said.

"Hi there! What're your names?" SpongeBob greeted the four as he leaped back down to the ground.

"That's Wario, that's Waluigi, that's Falco, and I'm Duck Hunt Dog, and we need to talk."

"Talk? About what?" SpongeBob asked before Wario began to whisper the truth about Crazy Hand into SpongeBob's... er, one of his many holes.


Master Hand, E. Gadd, Sonic, and Cloud were waiting outside the bus that brought them to Bikini Bottom, with the bus still parked at Make Out Reef, the latter three boys wearing helmets just like Wario and company. After a little chat with Master Hand, Cloud wandered away from the bus, allowing Master Hand to float on over to E. Gadd.

"Cloud spotted Crazy. Apparently Crazy's so upset about something that he somehow deflated and has to crawl with his fingers to even move. He's heading back here as we speak, apparently just wanting to laze on the bus until we head back home," Master Hand informed the scientist.

"I see. Well, at this rate, he'll probably have to wait on the bus for days. My radar's still picking up the signal, but I can't get an exact location!" E. Gadd replied, fiddling with his Game Boy Horror.

"Oh boy... well, keep at it. I'm sure we can still find it before too long," Master Hand responded.


~Hawaiian Cocktail by Richard Myhill starts to play~

Crazy was still crawling away, looking for the bus that brought the Smash crew to Bikini Bottom. The hand stopped for a minute, finding that he was once again back at SpongeBob's pineapple. He groaned before continuing his sluggish trek, passing by Fred's ruined boat. Once he passed the boat, the hand stopped again, too upset to move forward.

"Bleh... stupid me had to ruin everything..." Crazy whimpered.

~Hawaiian Cocktail stops~

Crazy continued to lay flat right next to Conch Street's road, even when the iconic sound of a certain someone's squeaking shoes could be heard from behind. After a few seconds, the squeaking stopped and someone tapped on the giant hand.

"Who is it and what do you want? I'm too upset to turn around, so don't expect me to do it," Crazy moaned. The squeaking started again as the certain someone and his best pal walked around the hand, stopping right in front of him. Crazy looked up and... suddenly, the sadness started to fade away.

"Hey there... friend," SpongeBob greeted as Patrick stood behind the sponge. In a matter of seconds, Crazy's nigh lifeless body leaped back up into the air and puffed back up to its normal state. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Duck Hunt Dog stood a fair distance behind the hand, smiling at his happiness.

"YAY! FRIENDS WITH SPONGEBOB AND PATRICK!" Crazy squealed before flying at the two, ready to "hug" them...

~Roundabout by Yes starts forty four seconds in~

... until the entire world froze, everything turned sepia, and an arrow with the words "To Be Continued..." on it appeared, with the arrow pointing at Fred's boat for some reason.

Chapter Text

Episode 15: A Splash Down Under (Part 2)

~Nostalgic Hawaii by Jan Rap starts to play~

SpongeBob, Patrick, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, and Duck Hunt Dog were all at Jellyfish Fields. The first six were trying to catch some of the local Jellyfish while DHD stayed back, watching the six dimwits swing their Jellyfish nets around.

"Haiyaa!" SpongeBob shouted, capturing one of the little Jellyfish. "Got one!"

"Me too!" Patrick, who was covered with marks from Jellyfish stings, replied, having a single Jellyfish in his net.

"I'm trying to get this one!" Crazy stated, chasing after another Jellyfish. Soon enough, he did manage to catch it, but the Jellyfish easily escaped and tried to sting Crazy... but not the hand, but rather the body that the Jellyfish that was simply invisible. After a few attempts with no results, the Jellyfish looked down at the size of Crazy before realizing just how big that would mean the body that the Jellyfish still believed in would be. The Jellyfish squeaked out a little scream, spewing out some Jellyfish Jelly onto Crazy, before swimming away to safety. "I wish I could eat this jelly."

"Well, at least we can!" Wario said before he, Waluigi, and Patrick licked the jelly off of their friend. Falco soon joined in, taking some of the jelly off to smother a loaf of waterproof bread with it. Meanwhile, the blue Jellyfish once known as "No Name", now known as "Friend" looked at the weirdos from above, confused as to just what was going on.

Thirty Minutes Later...

The gang of seven were hanging around Downtown Bikini Bottom, with Duck Hunt Dog talking to Snake and everyone else chatting with King Dedede.

"And that's how Crazy became friends with these two," Duck Hunt told Snake.

"Thanks for the explanation, Ducky. Now, do you mind answering a more important question, like how the hell a sponge can have things like arms and eyes?" Snake responded.

"*Parrot chirps*? Ain't that bad word number seven?" Patrick asked before SpongeBob gasped at Patrick's use of profanity.

"Patrick! Why'd you use bad word number seven?!"

"I only said it because I forgot that it was number seven!"

"Oh... well, don't say it again! You remember what happened last time!"

"Still... why does this Snake guy say it so weird? Is it one of those fancy regional dialects from Utica?"

"No Patrick," Snake answered.

"Then what about Albany, is it an Albany dialect?"

"Shut up, Patrick," the soldier replied.

Another Thirty Minutes Later...

SpongeBob, Patrick, Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy were getting ready to ride the Fiery Fist O' Pain roller coaster at Glove World, with Crazy sitting in a much larger seat than the others in the ride. Suddenly, the ride began, causing everyone to scream as it bolted through its course of high speed, flames, explosions, and Pokémon battles. Eventually, the coaster arrived at the part of the ride where most patrons would have their skeletons fly out of their body, which did happen to most of the riders, except for Crazy Hand, who lost his "glove" instead, revealing his true body...

... or at least it would have if his body wasn't censored by a huge, black square.

"Oh, phew! Didn't need my naked body to be seen like that! Thanks for the censorship, 4Kidz!" Crazy said.

Forty  Five Minutes Later...

SpongeBob was counting from twenty to one right in front of his own pineapple, serving as the seeker for a match of hide and seek that the seven were playing. Everyone else had already found a spot to hide just as the sponge was reaching one.

"... three... two... one! Ready or not, here I come!" SpongeBob exclaimed, leaping up and turning to face Conch Street's road. He then walked on over to Patrick's rock and knocked on it. Seconds later, the rock lifted, revealing that Patrick was hiding within the hole underneath the brown boulder... playing a game of chess with Sans and Smitty Warber Men Jensen.

"D'oh, tartar sauce!" Patrick cursed once he realized that SpongeBob found him.

"C'mon Sans, let's head back to the graveyard to play Eels and Escalators with the other skeletons," Smitty suggested to the other skeleton as Patrick climbed out of the pit.

"Alright, but I've never played that game before, so I'm a bit of a numskull at it," Sans replied before he teleported himself and Smitty back to Floater's Cemetery.

"One down, five to go! Help me look for the others, Patrick," SpongeBob ordered. The sponge took a good look around the area while his best friend lazily glanced around. Squidward then screamed from within his house, grabbing the duo's attention.

"GET OUT!" Squidward yelled. Wario, who was wearing one of Squidward's shower caps and using one of Squidward's bath brushes to cleanse his clothed back, was kicked out of one of Squidward's house through one of the octopus's (yes, Squiward is actually an octopus) windows. Wario fell onto the ground, still cleaning himself as if nothing happened.

"La da dee, la da doo, la da dum..." Wario quietly sang. SpongeBob and Patrick then laughed, falling down to their backs as Wario kept cleaning.

*One bubble transition later*

~Nostalgic Hawaii stops~

"... and after a little chat we had with him back at Smashtopolis, Mermaid Man gave us a Conch Signal in case we needed anything," Wario said to Patrick as the seven walked through the outskirts of Bikini Bottom.

"Bah-hahahaha! That was so much fun!" SpongeBob laughed, ending the subject and starting a new one.

"No kidding! Today's just like how I always imagined it! Nothing but fun, fun, fun!" Crazy replied, spazzing a bit. "That and a little bit of absolutely crazy but fun chaos!"

"I hate to burst your guys' bubbles, but can we please do something a little less hectic?" Duck Hunt asked.

"Sure! I was planning on taking you guys over to see Sandy anyways! That oughtta be calm enough!" SpongeBob responded as Sandy's Treedome came into view. Crazy raced for the Treedome while everyone else took their time. As soon as the insane hand arrived at the dome, he noticed that everything within the Treedome had been badly damaged. The tree itself had lost a lot of bark, the birdbath had been knocked over, and almost all of Sandy's pets, with the butterfly Wormy being the exception, were free from their tanks, roaming all over the dome.

"Uh, guys?! Something happened in Sandy's dome!" Crazy stated as the rest of the gang approached. Once everyone else arrived, they all glanced at the dome's interior, just as shocked as Crazy was.

"Oh my gosh! What happened here?!" SpongeBob exclaimed.

"Waa, looks like a tornado came through here! Either that or those wackos from my clown college days did," Waluigi responded.

"C'mon, let's get inside!" the sponge ordered. He and Patrick put on their helmets for breathing in the Treedome before the seven all entered the lush dome.

"I've never seen such a mess since I woke up under my rock this morning," Patrick commented.

"Sandy? Sandy?! Are you here?!" SpongeBob wailed as the rest of the gang wandered around the dome. Duck Hunt Dog stopped to stare at Sandy's pet snake named Snakey, who Sandy had fed a live mouse before the disaster struck. Since the mouse was swallowed whole, the rodent could still be seen as a lump in his lower body. DHD continued to stare at the lump and started to sweat as he grew uncomfortable.

"Looks like her tree's a bit more bite than bark," Waluigi stated, pointing at a part of the exposed tree where, strangely, a carving of a mouth with sharp incisors was. Wario waddled over to check the marking out, analyzing it from all angles.

"Let's see if it actually does bite," the yellow moron said. He picked up a broken stick off the ground and waved it in front of the mouth craving, waiting for the carving to bite.

"Woah man, not cool. I ain't into cannibalism," the carving replied, actually showing mouth movements as it spoke. Once it shut itself up, Wario and Waluigi's pupils shrunk from the shocking response before the bros slowly walked away. Meanwhile, SpongeBob just exited from the tree's single standard entrance, just as worried as before.

"Sandy's not in her tree either! She's nowhere in here!" the little sponge guy informed the rest of the crew.

"The place's a wreck, the squirrel's gone missing... and we have absolutely no clue why," Duck Hunt commented.

"I think she just went nuts and made a mess of the place before vanishing," Falco suggested as SpongeBob's eyes scanned the outer edge of the dome before discovering two figures spying on them from outside the Treedome.

"Uh, who are those guys?" SpongeBob inquired, pointing to the two figures. Everyone turned around and Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy, and Duck Hunt Dog instantly recognized the two beings. It was none other than Zigzagoon and Vaike, both of them wearing helmets.

"Waa! It's Vaike!" Wario answered.

"And my Zigzagoon buddy pal of mine! Yay!" Crazy added as he spazzed a bit again, floating on over to the Treedome's entrance to let them in.

"What's either of those two doin' here?" Waluigi wondered as the two came into the Treedome.

"Well, Master Hand sent a letter in advance that nearly everyone would be leaving the grounds for a few days to everyone he deemed likely to try to stop by during the trip, including me," Vaike answered.

"OK, but that doesn't explain why Zigzagoon's here," Duck Hunt Dog pointed out. Everyone aside from Crazy then intensely stared at the Tiny Raccoon Pokémon, who kept on smiling that blank smile of his.

Six Hours Earlier...

~Wonderwing from Banjo-Kazooie starts to play~

Madness was taking over the Smash Grounds and the palace. A bunch of Darmanitan were swinging all over the place, Crash Bandicoot was running from a giant Twerky, a Shy Guy kept squealing about toast, a Dry Bones was driving around in a miniature tank, Heavy Weapons Guy was shooting at everyone with his gatling gun, and the only inhabitants who stayed behind either fought back against the newcomers or were panicking. Zigzagoon however just stared at the worsening chaos from the gates before slowly backing away from the madness, wanting to head to Bikini Bottom instead of dealing with that nonsense.


~Wonderwing stops~

"Who cares why Zigzagoon is here, let's just figure out where Sandy went!" Falco demanded.

"I think it's clear what happened here," Patrick claimed.

~Dicey by Kenny Graham starts to play~

"What do you think happened, Pat?" SpongeBob asked.

"I seems Sandy's been... squirrelnapped! And all this property damage supports the idea that Sandy was attacked within this very dome before she was taken away!"

"Uh... Patrick? How're you coming up with this stuff?" Duck Hunt Dog questioned, surprised by Patrick's sudden intelligence.

"It's all elementary, my dear "Anas Platyrhynchos Pursuit Canis Lupus Familiaris". The answer to that is..."

~Dicey stops~

"... I forget."

"Oh. Thanks for the riveting answer, Patrick..." Duck Hunt sarcastically replied.

"No problem, doggy!"

"Don't you guys think we're wasting enough time here? Shouldn't we actually go look for Sandy?" Wario brought up.

"Wario's right! Let's split up, search the whole town, and spread awareness about Sandy's disappearance!" SpongeBob suggested before they all ran out of the Treedome.


"So at least Crazy Hand's in somewhat capable hands, I suppose," Master Hand said to Professor E. Gadd as they two wandered around the Krusty Krab area. "But, enough about that. Is that Game Boy Horror picking up a better signal?"

"I was just a bit ago, but the signal petered out as soon as we came around this part of town. The signal seemed to come from somewhere around here, but I can't figure out just where. I guess we'll have to scan the whole area for it," Elvin said.

~Chill Out by the Surfdusters starts to play~

The two continued their search, waltzing around without a clue as Plankton watched them using a giant telescope that popped out of the top of the Chum Bucket.

"Who are these weirdos?" Plankton muttered as one of the robed beings who entered the Chum Bucket earlier approached the tiny miscreant.

"What's going on out there, Plankton?"

"Oh, nothing, just some weird people wandering around that infernal Krusty Krab," Plankton answered. The little scientist leaped down from the stool he was standing on and made his way into the laboratory of the Chum Bucket, the robed being right behind him. What the two didn't know was that one of the other robed figures was hiding underneath the table, waiting until they entered the lab, letting the third robed figure escape the Chum Bucket.


~Chill Out stops as Secret Service by Syd Dale starts~

Wario and Waluigi were running through Downtown Bikini Bottom, slapping flyers about Sandy's situation all over the buildings. They even plastered one right onto Squilliam Fancyson's forehead, Waluigi stapling them on for good measure. Squilliam screeched as soon as the staples were set in place, running around in panic as the Wario Bros. continued their flyer duty.

"AGH! HELP! MY BEAUTIFUL FACE! IT'S BEEN RUINED!" Squilliam cried out. Soon enough, Squilliam passed by Squidward, who laughed at his rival's misery while making that weird honking noise of his.

"AHA! YOU KNOW FANCYSON OF A BARNACLE, YOU SHOULD REALLY MAKE THAT FLYER A "STAPLE" TO YOUR OUTFIT!" Squidward teased before he continued his laughing and honking.


Flats the Flounder was walking in the outskirts of town, looking for someone to beat up. In a matter of seconds, Crazy erupted from the sands right in front of the asshole flounder, with Zigzagoon and Vaike popping out of the hole left behind right after. Before Flats could react, Crazy knocked the flounder to the ground and pinned him down.

"Wha?! What's going on?!" Flats exclaimed, trying to squirm free.

"We're just here to "axe" you a few questions, buddy," Vaike told Flats.

"Like what?! What do you morons possibly need to know?!"

"All we need to know is if you know what happened to Sandy Cheeks and why she's missing, wiseguy! Now spill the beans, or else I'll have to spill some tartar sauce on ya!" Crazy growled.

"Cheeks?! I don't know anything! I barely know that girl!" Flats honestly answered.

"Ah, but you know her enough. And while you may not have beef with her, you have beef with one of her friends, SpongeBob SquarePants! That's a motive right there!" Crazy argued.

"Look man, I'm not one to kidnap people! Bully them, sure, punch them, yeah, but no kidnapping!"

"Might wanna let him go, Crazy. He doesn't seem to know nothing," Vaike said. Crazy groaned but did free Flats, even though Flats was too tired to get up and move.

"Alright pal. We'll let you off the hook this time, but if we find out you were involved, we will find you," Crazy told Flats. "But... I still think you deserve a little punishment for being such a big, fat meanie to SpongeBob way back when."

"Woah, what?! What are you doing?!" Flats cried out before Crazy folded the flat fish into a pseudo-paper airplane and chucked him right into the nearby Bran Flakes billboard, where Flats got stuck. As the flounder screamed for help, the trio of weirdos walked away from the scene.


Falco and Duck Hunt Dog were following a trail of footprints that stemmed from Sandy's Treedome and continued throughout the outskirts of Bikini Bottom. No matter what, the duo kept their eyes on the footprints and followed them, causing them to go around in circles and climb up sand hills. One part of the trail of footprints even spelled out "F.U.N." in cursive when viewed from above, with the two following the footsteps every letter of the way. Eventually, the footprint trail lead them to the Fish Hooks Park, even though both were still focused on the footprints instead of the fish hooks. While walking very close to one of the hooks, Duck Hunt Dog's collar got stuck on one of them, the hook flying up to the ocean surface before the mutt even realized his situation in the first place.

"AHH! FALCO, DO SOMETHING!" the dog begged, but the mutt was already hoisted way too high for Falco to hear.


"Ha ha ha! Whoever I just hooked is getting turned into a sea dog!" the Flying Dutchman cackled as he sat on his ghostly ship on the ocean's surface, reeling up whatever he just caught.

... And of course the same fishing pool his had was the same one that hooked onto Duck Hunt Dog's collar, a fact that would be revealed to the Dutchman as soon as DHD was reeled up to the green ghost's face.

"... I didn't think just reeling them in would transform them into sea dogs," the Dutchman remarked.


~Secret Service stops as Detective Mario from Paper Mario starts~

"We've posted flyers all over downtown, we interrogated one of our top suspects, we followed the footprints from Sandy's place, and still nothing!" SpongeBob stated, the entire gang sitting in the bottom floor of SpongeBob's pineapple.

"We even checked under my rock!" Patrick idiotically added.

"Yeah, but we still have a lot of other things to do though. Vaike, hand me the list," Duck Hunt Dog commanded.

"Uh... I would, but, uh... I can't seem to find it," Vaike told the dog.

"Probably because you're sitting on it," Waluigi pointed out. Vaike then stood up and looked at the spot where he was sitting, finding the list. Duck Hunt Dog swiped it and began to gaze over the list's contents.

"Let's see... we still haven't reported her disappearance to the police, interrogated most of our other suspects, double checked the Treedome, consulted the bread lord... wait, what?!" Duck Hunt Dog said.

"Hey, the bread lord probably knows the truth!" Falco claimed. "All we need is to sacrifice a toaster and the bread lord will tell us what we need to know!"

"So what are we gonna do now?" Wario asked. Everyone else thought about it for a moment until Patrick shouted out his answer.

"I know! Let's go to the Salty Spitoon!"

"Eh, not the worst idea I've ever heard. Might as well, maybe there's a suspect or two there," Duck Hunt Dog commented as everybody got up and walked towards the front door.


~Detective Mario stops~

A small line stood in front of the Salty Spitoon. Aside from Wario and his bizarre friends, the only other ones in line was Larry the Lobster, who stood in front of the wackos, and Don the Whale, who was standing behind them. The only reason there was a line to begin with was because of the sailor club's bouncer, Reg, who had to determine one's toughness before they could walk in.

"You sure got the strength, but I'm pretty sure you lack the attitude to come in," Reg told Larry.

"Oh, that's quite alright! See you later, random fish!" Larry said before walking away from the line, allowing everyone else to step forward.

"Yeah, punk lacks the right attitude alright," Reg thought before speaking out loud to Wario. "Welcome to the Salty Spitoon, how tough are ya?"

"Try karate chopping my arm," Wario responded. The yellow moron lifted his left arm and flexed the muscles, ready for the chop. Reg then delivered the chop... before screaming from the pain that was pulsing through his arm. He pulled his arm away from Wario and held onto it with his other arm, ending his screeching.

"Ugh... I'm gonna feel this for a week... fine, you can get in," Reg groaned. The fish stepped to the side, allowing Wario to move up to the doors of the club, and thus giving the rest of the line and chance to move forward. However, as soon as he spotted SpongeBob behind Waluigi, Reg forced the entire line to stop. "Hold it! Little sponge kid, are you seriously trying to come in here again?!"

"You got a problem with my friends coming in, huh? Punk?" Wario snarled, flexing his arm muscles again. Reg gulped and leaped out of the way, letting the rest of the idiotic crew through. Once all of them got to the saloon doors, Wario swung them both open, gazing upon the violence and stupidity taking place within the Salty Spitoon. Captain Falcon and one of the fish patrons were duking it out, glass bottles were getting chucked around, the Tattletale Strangler was, well, strangling another one of the patrons, and even the monstrous Appetizer was there, chasing Bowser around the club. The entire gang walked in, Crazy spazzing out oh so slightly from fear.

"Hey! Ain't that the little yella brat who slipped on an ice cube in this joint?!" one of the buff fish sitting on one of the stools wondered.

"Aye, looks like it!" the burly crab next to her replied. "Oi! Everyone! The sponge boy's back again!"

"Oh..." SpongeBob muttered as most of the big guys in the Salty Spitoon aside from Captain Falcon, Bowser, the Appetizer, the bartender, and a few others came over to the middle of the club, glaring and growling at the sponge and his friends.

"Guess we gotta pummel this sponge to a pulp for making the same mistake twice!" a purple, muscular squid said.

"Hold it, losers! If you wanna hurt SpongeBob, you're gonna have to go through me!" Wario stated, cracking his knuckles.

"Waa, and you gotta deal with me too, ya freaks!" Waluigi added.

"And me! No one messes with my best friend!" Patrick shouted.

"Goon!" Zigzagoon growled.

"You're gonna have to make it past the Vaike too!" Vaike added.

"Hah! And me!" Captain Falcon said, preforming a backwards leap over the crowd and landing right next to the gang.

"Not me!" Bowser yelled.

"C'mon Bowser! I know you're a bad guy, but you don't even a heart to help someone like SpongeBob?!" Falco complained.

"Huh?" the Koopa King muttered as he turned his head towards the entrance, still running from the Appetizer. Though the crowd of delinquents, Bowser managed to catch a few glimpses of Wario and Waluigi. "Oh, hey Wario, hey Waluigi! Mind helping me out?"

"Can't right now, kinda busy with these guys!" Wario answered.

"Thanks for trying to protect me guys, but don't worry! I can fight too!" SpongeBob claimed, putting on his karate gloves.

"Oi! Enough wasting time! Let's give these fools the beating of a maritime!" the burly crab roared.

~Seeker Of Truth from Persona 4 Arena starts to play~

Both factions lunged for each other, starting the brawl. Vaike landed in front of a big, red starfish and swung his axe at the sea star. One of his axe swings landed, slicing one of the starfish's arms off. Suddenly, the arm regenerated, leaving Vaike in a bit of a sticky pickle. However, Crazy Hand struck the sea star from above with one of his fancy finger bullets, dazing the starfish long enough for Crazy to pick him up and chuck him out of the Salty Spitoon.

"You losers are gonna get it now!" Wario taunted as the muscular squid ran towards him and Waluigi. Before the squid could attack, Wario bounced off of Waluigi, jumping higher up into the air while spinning. Waluigi then jumped up and grabbed Wario's legs before the two flipped, falling back down. Wario's fist collided with the squid, squishing the mollusk into the floor as Waluigi let go of Wario. The yellow nimrod continued his attack on the squid by flipping up slightly to slam back down onto the troublemaker WITH HIS BUTT, an action Eggman would have disapproved of... probably. Wario's butt slam caused him to bounce high up again, letting him pull out the Dinner Blaster and fire a small batch of spaghetti onto the squid, resulting in a small explosion that barely shook the Salty Spitoon. Once the dust cleared up, it was revealed that the squid had died and become fried, with noodles and meatballs drenched with spaghetti sauce covering the calamari corpse, press F to pay respects. Kirby then came by and inhaled the calamari and the spaghetti before rushing right back out.

"Look at this little hairy thing!" the buff fish cackled, staring down at a pissed off Zigzagoon. While she kept on laughing, Zigzagoon's fury grew. In a matter of seconds, Zigzagoon couldn't take it anymore and unleashed a few Extreme Speed attacks onto the fish, zipping all around her at the speed of sound. After the Extreme Speeds, Zigzagoon finished her off with a Seed Bomb attack, causing an explosion that forced her out of the Salty Spitoon.

"You bottom feeders are gonna pay for the damages ya'll are doing to this joint, ya know!" a swole sperm whale claimed, charging ahead. Right as he was about to attack Duck Hunt Dog, who was busy firing a few rounds from his NES Zapper, SpongeBob came in and took on the whale himself, spinning around with his arms out right into the whale before he stepped aside so that Patrick could slam right into the aquatic mammal with his belly. The whale flew backwards for a bit before Duck Hunt Dog jumped after him and fired a single blast from his NES Zapper, leaving a burn mark on the sperm whale's head.

"Hey, aren't you gonna join the fight?" the calm and emotionless bartender asked the infamous Dennis, who was still sitting at the bar part of the club.

"I'm not getting involved in a fight that doesn't pay, even if I could easily win," Dennis coldly stated before getting up and exiting through a Isopod-shaped hole left by one of the patrons during the massive brawl.

"Think you can take me?!" the buff crab from before shouted...

... but Wario took care of him by merely suplexing him. Once the crab smashing into the wooden floor, his shell cracked open, exposing his soft shell. The crab screamed, got back up, and ran out of the Salty Spitoon, all while flailing his arms around.

"Ugh! Don't forget me!" the crab wailed, trying to catch up with the other club members who fled from the brawl.

~Seeker Of Truth stops~

And thus the Salty Spitoon became a wreck. Unconscious bodies of the criminals and hooligans cluttered the floor, trails of rotten food scattered everywhere thanks to the Appetizer, and yet the bartender still remained emotionless about the whole ordeal.

"Yeah yeah yeah! Now that was a great fight, guys!" a voice from behind the squad of nine exclaimed. All of them turned around, finding Malleo blocking the entrance, holding a bucket of popcorn.

"Malleo? The heck are you doing in Bikini Bottom?" Falco asked.

"Me? Well, Weegee dragged me here. He said he had some important business with some little guy around this place, and I heard him talking about some sort of secret project," the meme honestly answered.

"Weegee?!" Wario gasped.

"Little guy?!" SpongeBob added.

"Secret project?!" Patrick cried out.

"Shouting words Malleo just said?!" Crazy squealed while spazzing out.


~Void from Mega Man Battle Network starts to play~

"Looks like it's all hooked up and ready now. About fucking time," one of the robed figures said. Both of the robed beings, as well as Plankton, were in the Chum Bucket's laboratory, with one of the robed beings and Plankton standing around a surgical table that Sandy was strapped to while the other robed figure stood over by the large computer monitor that Karen usually took control of. Sandy, despite being knocked out, still had her suit on and had a Dr. Wily-theme blanket covering her body, bar her feet and a small bit of her legs.

"Well then, let's take the blanket off an-" Plankton said before the other robed individual spoke over the tiny tyrant.

"Hey, where the heck did Malleo go?"

"Hold it... you're right! Where the hell..." the first being said before swiping their entire robe off, revealing that they were none other than Weegee.

"Oh yeah, I forgot we could take these off now," the other robed being, Wily himself, replied as he did the same thing.

~Void stops as Monster Bug (A) by Gregor Narholz starts~

"Well, now that we have our little project complete, we can have miss Cheeks go look for him..." Plankton stated, swiping the blanket off of Sandy, revealing that she had a metallic masked shaped like Weegee's head and hat around her own head and inside her helmet. "... and ruin the whole town while she's at it! AHEHEHEHEHEHAH! We're going to bring Bikini Bottom down with everything we've got!"

"Time to hit the switch then!" Wily cackled. The mad scientist then literally hit a Nintendo Switch that Plankton had stole from Nintendo's headquarters, which activated the mechanical Weegee head. The head then forced Sandy's body to get up, get off the surgical table, and spin around with her arms out, causing her to fly out the lab and out of the Chum Bucket entirely.

~Monster Bug (A) stops~

Ten Minutes Later...

Bikini Bottom was up in flames. Many of the buildings were spewing out smoke, some were knocked over, people were panicking, Sandy was spinning through the whole town, slicing down anything that came into her path, Plankton's robots were attacking anyone they saw, and Old Man Jenkins was dancing amid all the chaos. While the pandemonium was going on, the TV reporter Perch Perkins and his crew stood in front of the badly damaged Sea Needle, reporting about the madness.

"Perch Perkins here, reporting live from the Sea Needle!" the purple fish began. "In a matter of minutes, Bikini Bottom has become a fiery warzone, with robots everywhere, attacking everyone in the city. Sources have told me that the ones behind the destruction are Plankton and two unknown allies of hi- AH! RUN FOR IT!" Perch and the rest of the team ran from the Sea Needle as a small group of Fodder robots came for them. The chased continued through a good portion of Bikini Bottom, eventually passing by Master Hand and E. Gadd, who had just watched the report from one of the TVs that were on display at an electronics store.

"I knew it! I knew Weegee had to be planning something while he was here, and all this destruction and teaming up with Plankton is clearly it!" Master Hand hollered. "Come on Elvin, we're going to find that meme and his buddies and stop this madness!"

"And get my flash drive back, I hope!" the scientist replied before the two took off for the depths of the burning Bikini Bottom, dodging all of the robots and the panicking town folk.

~Lava Fields from SpongeBob SquarePants: SuperSponge starts to play~

"Will Wario, Waluigi, and their friends put an end to Weegee, Wily, and Plankton's evil plans?" the french narrator, er, narrated from the safety of his submarine. "Or will Master Hand and E. Gadd be the heroes this time? What were the two tracking before? And just what do the trio of villains have in mind after they destroy Bikini Bottom? Stay tuned!"

Chapter Text

Episode 16: A Splash Down Under (Part 3)

Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, Malleo, Zigzagoon, Vaike, SpongeBob, and Patrick were hiding in one of Bikini Bottom's alleyways. DHD peeked out of the alley to make sure no one tried to wander in while the rest of the gang was coming up with a plan. On the street connected to the alley was nothing but chaos. Plankton's Fodder robots chased after numerous sea creatures, fires were somehow burning, Bob-ombs were on patrol for anything that seemed like a legitimate threat to Weegee, Plankton, and Wily's plans, and a devilish Celebi was trying to destroy some of the residential buildings with a hammer while screaming "Celebi is the picture of innocence!" as it helped spread the destruction.

"I just finished calling a group from an alternate universe called the Nohrian Inquisition. They said they'll be here soon," Malleo said, giving Zigzagoon his phone back.

"Waa? You managed to call someone from an alternate universe?" Waluigi asked.

"Yeah I did! This phone book of me and Weegee's sure has a lot of phone numbers in it!" the meme replied, showing pulling out the same phone book that had the ad of Wily's that brought the mad scientist and Weegee together as allies. Malleo opened it up and the two Wario Bros. silently gazed over it, glancing over numbers for Tentacle Acres's Interpretive Dance Academy, Professor Elm, and Cackletta before finding a huge ad for "Universe Six's" Nohrian Inquisition.

"So... we're just going to wait here for those Nohrian Inquisition guys to show up? Vaike questioned.

"We can just charge through these loser robots of Weegee and Plankton's! We've dealt with worse! Waluigi, Crazy, Falco, don't you remember that Koridai incident?" Wario responded.

"If you're going to charge through, I think you might need some top of the line prank technology to fight against those robots!" a mysterious voice suggested. Before anyone could ask the owner of the voice any questions, a Warp Pipe rose out of a nearby garbage bin. After that, two figures leaped out of said pipe...

~Andy Anorak by Chris Marshall starts to play~

... those two individuals being Frank, the owner of the Palace Of Pranks that resided in Bikini Bottom, and Lissa, who was at the Palace Of Pranks before the chaos began.

"Lissa?! Why're you here of all places?!" Vaike inquired the princess of Ylisse.

"Don't ask questions you aren't ready to know the answers to, Vaike," Lissa answered with a mischievous wink.

"It's nice to see my best customer and his best friend handling the apocalypse of the week well!" Frank said before giving SpongeBob a pat of the back.

"Of the week?" Duck Hunt muttered as he left his post to join in the discussion.

"Believe me, Bikini Bottom must fall into chaos at least once every other week these days. At least!" Frank pointed out. "It's a good thing that the Palace Of Pranks is on the outskirts, or else I'd have to deal with this kind of shenanigans way more often then I think I can handle. Too bad the squirrel attacked the place while me and Lissa here were there. Forced us to take my secret emergency exit some scientist guy from that Mushroom Kingdom place had installed a few weeks ago."

"Yeah yeah, but what's this about that prank tech you were talking about before? Give us the details!" Wario demanded to know.

"Oh yeah, let's get right onto that! We'll head to my secret underground hideout and I'll show you the goods!" Frank said. He then leaped back into the pipe, waiting for the rest to follow.

"Wow, I think Frank's got some real good prank stuff he's been hiding for years!" SpongeBob suggested. "C'mon, let's go!" SpongeBob leaped into the Warp Pipe, with Patrick and Lissa following him in.

"These "goods" better be legit goods and not like those lousy Capri-Suns Dark Pit tried to give us that one time," Wario stated before the rest of the gang jumped into the garbage bin's Warp Pipe.


~Andy Anorak stops as Chill Out by the Surfdusters starts~

Weegee, Dr. Wily, Plankton, and Karen, the last one using her mobile body, were flying above Bikini Bottom in a large hovercraft developed by Wily himself. Wily steered the thing while Weegee kept his unusual and horrifying eyes out for Malleo.

"Yes! Finally! Bikini Bottom is ours! With Krabs out of town and his two employees probably stuck in the chaos, the secret formula WILL BE MINE!" Plankton screeched.

"And that Weegee Mask you guys invented even serves a decent mind control device that could be used for Plan Z if yo-" Karen said before Weegee interrupted her.

~Chill Out stops~

"The fuck? Why does that one guy down there fighting the robots look like that Mega Man guy?" Weegee wondered as he spied on the Blue Bomber's fight against the Fodder army.

"What?! Are you sure it's Mega Man?!" Wily replied.

"Let me check," Weegee said before he pulled out a pair of binoculars from his overalls to get a better view of Mega Man. "Wait... it is him! And... I think I see some of those others Smasher fucks too! That green plumber who looks like me, that Meta Knight guy... Plankton, when you said there were weird people outside the Chum Bucket before... what did they look like?"

"One was some old man dressed up like a lunatic scientist while the other was a giant hand in a glove," Plankton answered.

"Damn! Master Hand and that Elvin guy who made the flash drive!" Weegee cursed.

"What, you mean that flash drive you plugged into the computer system?" Plankton asked.

"Yes, that one!"

"I told you that you should've left that thing back at our island! I knew that Elvin must've had some way to track it!" Wily complained.

"And leave it there for them to destroy your robots while the castle would be without us? Have you forgotten about that, Albert?"

"How about you all shut up and come up with a plan before those Smashers destroy the army?!" Karen loudly suggested before Weegee quickly came up with an idea, a lightbulb appearing over his head as it came to him.

"Wily, turn this thing around and head back to the Chum Bucket. We're going to use that flash drive of Elvin's against him."


Darkness. Nothing but complete darkness. It was nothing more than a pitch black void of nothingness. That is... until the lights finally came back on. The boxes, the joy buzzers, the fake cans of Seanut Brittle, the rotting Pretty Patties, all suddenly getting showered with bright light.

... Xehanort also started hissing as soon as the lights came back on but nobody cared.

~Shooting Star Summit from Paper Mario starts to play~

Wario, Waluigi, SpongeBob, Patrick, and the rest of the gang gazed upon the tons upon tons of pranks, gags, and gross-out toys that went as far as the eye could see and then some.

"Wow, it's even better than I expected!" SpongeBob gasped.

"Yeah, no kidding! These definitely are real goods!" Wario added as Frank opened up one of the many boxes that laid within the underground lair.

"If you all think that's great, wait until you see what's within this ol' box," the fish said, throwing out some things like a pack of Exploding Chewing Gum, a can of Invisible Spray, a picture of Steve Harvey, and a copy of a bootleg game called "Dr. Eggman's Wedding Bash" for the Virtual Boy before pulling out something truly relevant... which seemed like absolutely nothing because it wasn't possible for the standard eye to see.

"Cool, a big pile of nothingness that can fit in your hand!" Patrick unironically squealed.

"Oh no, this isn't a big pile of nothingness! This is an invisible bomb called the Invisibomb. Perfect for blowing people up in the face and catching them by surprise!"

"I thought this was a lair filled with gags, not actual weapons!" Duck Hunt Dog said.

"Nah, those bombs aren't that deadly. Just a little explosion that gives one the chance to strike the opponent. But I do have some actual weapons somewhere in this box..."

"Is this an actual weapon?" Malleo asked, handing Frank a piece of paper.

"Oh no, that's just a letter to remind myself that a new Smash on the Switch will be announced during the Nintendo Direct sometime in early 2018. The day before, I'm gonna post that it will be revealed, tricking everyone into believing that it's just another one of those dumb "wishlist" rumors when it's an actual leak. It's a prank like no other!" Frank answered.

"What," was all Malleo could reply with.

"Waa, mind if we just dig around this joint ourselves because Waluigi and me are probably gonna do it anyways," Wario questioned.

"Sure thing! Take whatever you like!"

~Shooting Star Summit stops as Avatar Creation from Sonic Forces starts~

The rest of the gang split up, running all over the underground lair to find the coolest and best pranks they could find. Falco quickly spotted a can of Canned Bread sitting right next to a pile of gag dollars and ran over to open the can up.

"YES! Some glorious Canned Bread!" the space pilot said. He opened the can, but instead of bread within the can, a green boxing glove connected to the can's bottom thanks to a spring jumped out, disappointing Falco.

"I can't believe Frank stole from Little Mac," Crazy claimed. Falco managed to get the glove back in the can and closed it before the two wandered off to find more equipment, passing by Lissa, who was holding a frog-like robot, and the Wario Bros., where Wario himself was digging through a pile of superhero toys and pranks.

"C'mon, I thought I saw it somewhere around here..." Wario muttered. "Ah ha! There it is!" Wario finally pulled out what he was looking for, and it was a prankified version of Mermaid Man's belt. The fat weirdo filled the belt upside-down, turning the M on it to a W, before putting on his helmet, the "W" on the belt mostly obscuring the W on Wario's hat. Waluigi clapped, finding it perfect. While Waluigi kept clapping, Frank dug through another box, pulling out a special joy buzzer from it.

"It's a good thing I never got rid of this one," the old fish remarked before putting it on his left hand. Soon afterwards, everyone was equipped with a prank gadget of some sorts and marched back to the Warp Pipe exit, Wario pulling out the Dinner Blaster as they marched along.


~Avatar Creation stops~

Weegee had just plugged E. Gadd's flash drive into the Chum Bucket's computer system and was trying to find the "InternetConnection. exe" program that brought him and later on, brought Malleo, Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog Dr. Robotnik, and others out of the Internet. Meanwhile, Plankton, Karen, and Wily stood back and watched Weegee's progress.

"C'mon, where the hell... ah! There it is!" Weegee exclaimed, finding the program.

"Hurry up and summon whatever you're going to summon before that Master Hand gets here!" Plankton responded, jumping up and down.

"I'm going as fast as I can! Calm down! It'll only take a few more seconds!" the meme shouted back before clicking on the program.

~Danger Zone by Mike Sunderland starts to play~

And then a wormhole just like the one that appeared at the Smasher's Palace during Weegee's accidental summoning appeared in between the villains and the computer screen. Seconds after, a terrifying being stepped out of the wormhole and into the non-Internet world.

*One bubble transition later*

~Danger Zone stops~

Chaos was still going on at the area near the alley where Wario, Waluigi, and the rest of the gang were hiding prior. Fodders and Bob-ombs still patrolled the streets, fires continued to spread, and even the devilish Celebi from before was still aiding in spreading the madness, this time sticking posters that said "SpongeBob will be cancelled on Jan. 28, 2014. To save SpongeBob, repost and tag #savespongebob," all over a brick wall.

"So... what're you planning after this Bikini Bottom stuff?" one of the Bob-omb's asked another who wore a blood red fedora and a green eyepatch over his left eye.

"I'm going to see if I can rejoin the Bob-omb Mafia. I left back in January of '05 because the mafia became such a joke then, but I've heard they've improved since," the other Bob-omb answered as a red "Bob-omb" approached the two.

"Bob-omb Mafia? Never heard of it," the red "Bob-omb" that had a smaller version of Mermaid Man's belt strapped upside-down to his forehead said in a rather familiar, wacky voice.

"What?! You've never heard of the Bob-omb Mafia?! How?!" the ex-mafia member gasped.

"Dude, you're more concerned about him not knowing about that mafia when he's one of the Bob-omb Buddy blokes?" the other Bob-omb said.

"Woah, Maverick, buddy, what's stopping those wimpy Bob-omb Buddies from realizing the error of their ways? If this guy's even talking to us without blabbering about how we shouldn't be siding with King Bob-omb, then he musta realized that King Bob-omb is our true ruler!"

"Meh. If you say so, Frank..." Maverick grumbled.

"Ooh... I think I'm about to sneeze... ah... AAH..." the red "Bob-omb Buddy" lied to Frank and Maverick. Maverick immediately caught onto what was really up with the Bob-omb Buddy while Frank remained oblivious.

"Wow. I didn't know us Bob-ombs could sneeze," Frank said.

"We can't! That Bob-omb Buddy is a dud! A fake!" Maverick shouted.


... But instead of sneezing, the "Bob-omb Buddy" blew up, destroying most of the surrounding Fodders and Bob-ombs as well as sending Frank flying into the dark orange skies above. Maverick however didn't survive the blast, turning him into nothing but Bob-omb flavored ashes. Don't ask why I mentioned what flavor it is or how I know about that.

"Yeah, that Bob-omb Buddy sure was a dud. Stupid Maverick," one of the surviving Bob-ombs remarked.

"MAVERICK! NO! YOU BUDDY SCUM! YOU'LL PAY FOR KILLING HIM SOME DAY! I, FRANK BOMBELLO, SWEAR IT!" Frank cried out, flying out of the ocean. The dust from the explosion cleared up, revealing that the "Bob-omb Buddy" survived despite self-destructing, with the ashes of the Bob-ombs and Fodder scattered everywhere nearby.

"'Ey! Bob-omb Buddy punk! What's the big idea, huh?!" another Bob-omb survivor yelled.

"I'll tell ya what the big idea is!" the "Bob-omb Buddy" replied before trying to use on of its feet to meddle with the copy of Mermaid Man's belt. "As soon... as I... get this... stupid... foot to..." Duck Hunt Dog then walked over and pressed one of the belt's tiny buttons for the fake Bob-omb, who transformed into their real identity, Wario, seconds afterwards.

"Ack! It's that Wario guy and his pals that Weegee wants us to kill so badly!" the leader of the Bob-omb squad wailed as the rest of the heroic gang came to Wario and Duck Hunt Dog's side. "Men, women, robots with no distinctive features beyond wielding a glorified backscratcher! Attack!"

~Everyone, Attack! from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions starts to play~

The Bob-ombs and Fodders charged for the heroes, who charged at them in response. Wario led the heroes's charge, preparing to Shoulder Bash into the opposing force. Once he rammed his way through and sent some of the robots and bombs flying, everyone else focused on getting rid of the rest. Duck Hunt Dog was the only one who stayed back, firing blasts from his NES Zapper.

"Uh... how do these things work again?" Vaike wondered as he meddled with a larger than usual whoopie cushion. He then squeezed it, forcing it to fly out of his hands. The strange whoopie cushion flew right into several Fodders and Bob-ombs, knocking the robots down and causing the bombs to make small explosions and thus wiping them out. Vaike stood their, proud of clearing out some of the foes, before the cushion came back and flew right into his face, knocking him back down to the ground.

"Clear the way!" Lissa shouted. She placed the frog robot down onto the ground, causing a few Fodders to gather around it.

"Aw, it's actually ki-" one of the robots said... before the frog robot opened its mouth, revealing a gatling gun within it. The Fodders screeched and ran away before the mechanical frog opened fire, shooting out bullet-shaped bubbles. The bubble bullets somehow managed to tear through the robot's metal hide, bringing them down to the ground. A decent amount of Fodder's managed to sneak around the bubbles and the frog robot, forcing Lissa to take a new approach. Once the Fodder's came close, Lissa pulled out her Steel Axe from out of nowhere and spun around in a few circles with it, slicing off the Fodder's heads. Lissa even stepped on one of the severed heads right after it fell down, crushing it to bits, just for good measure.

~Everyone, Attack! stops~

And after a little more fighting, most of the Bob-omb and Fodder army had been slain. Only the now ex-leader Bob-omb of the brigade remained, shivering in fear.

"Uh... oh! Would you l-look at the time, it's time for my l-lunch break, uh, bye!" the Bob-omb stuttered before running down the street.

"Waa, that takes care of those losers," Wario pointed out. "Now where's that dumb Weegee?"

"OK, but what about those guys behind us?" Crazy replied.

"Waa? Crazy, what guys behind us?" Waluigi asked. The rest of the gang made a one-eighty degree turn to see just what Crazy was blabbering on about.

~Dangerous (A) by Mladen Franko starts to play~

Behind them was an absurdly large army. Aside from the large amount of Bob-ombs and Fodders, many of Weegee's Goomba slaves, a tank being controlled by the Weegee version of Toad, Tewd, Elec Man, the Appetizer, an small group of Chuck robots, and a giant Fodder whose size rivaled even the Sea Needle made up the army.

~Dangerous (A) stops~

... Yet, for some reason, a Mario look-a-like wearing a dark blue hat, shirt, and black overalls stood atop the giant Fodder, trying to laugh evilly but only laughed like an absolute idiot.

"Shut up!" a Goomba slave yelled in Homer Simpson's voice before jumping on top of the large Fodder and pushing the Mario clone off. "Bleh, stupid SMG3 weirdo..."

"You guys go ahead! I'll take care of these jokers!" Frank said.

"Frank, you can't fight all these guys by yourself! You'll get massacred!" SpongeBob warned the fish.

"Don't worry about me, I'll be fine. Now get going!"

"You heard the man, let's move!" Duck Hunt Dog ordered, running ahead. Everyone else, especially SpongeBob, begrudgingly gave chase, leaving Frank with the army.

"So... you all ready to fall to the hands of a true prankster?" Frank asked, gathering a wide array of responses from his new foes.

"Shut up, old man!"

"Boo, you stink!"

"I'm ready to fall to your hands!"

"Shut your idiot mouth, Conrad!"

"So I see most of you aren't prepared to perish I see. Well then..." Frank then threw his eyepatch off, revealing a empty, black hole where his left eye should have been. Yet... as soon as the eyepatch came off, a beam of white light emitted from the cavity... a beam of light that would constantly stop and start appearing again.

~The Valedictory Elegy from Baten Kaitos Origins starts to play~

Frank jumped high into the waters before slapping the button on his joy buzzer. After the hand he used to slap the button got out of the way, a giant, light blue spear of energy flew out from the joy buzzer and stabbed the giant Fodder through the metallic chest. The rest of the army screamed as the Fodder began to fall, forcing the Goomba that was on top of it to jump down onto the Appetizer... only to be sucked into the monster's disgusting, rotten body, never to see the light of day again. Frank landed on his two feet and glanced at the destruction he had already caused.

"Heh... good old Spear Buzzer. I missed ya," Frank muttered. The opposing army charged for Frank, which he responded by doing the same.


~The Valedictory Elegy stops~

Weegee, Wily, Plankton, and Karen were back to flying around in Wily's large hovercraft again, with their new ally hiding in a secret compartment of the hovercraft.

"Looks like those Smashers are kicking our forces's asses. I think we might need to deploy him now," Weegee said, staring at the chaotic battlegrounds below.

"You sure this guy's gonna help?" Plankton asked.

"Of course he'll be of use. A meme like him alongside a meme like me outta shut down those Smashers once and for all."

"If you say so..." Plankton muttered before a hot plate of spaghetti barely missed the hovercraft.

"What was that?! Weegee, what nearly hit us?!" Wily demanded to know.

"Oh, I already know what it was, and I already know who is responsible for it," the meme answered, glaring down at the heroes while Wario tried to aim for the hovercraft again with the Dinner Blaster. "Bring this thing closer to the ground, Wily. I need to have a word with those three asses."

"Alright, then," Wily replied, slowly lowering the hovercraft. Wario decided to lower the Dinner Blaster as the hovercraft came closer to the ground, only stopping once it was a few feet away from touching the aquatic earth.

"Well well well, if it isn't Wario, Waluigi, and Fal-" Weegee said before taking note of Malleo's presence. "Wha- Malleo, what're you doing with these idiots?!"

"Fal? Falchion!" Crazy randomly thought before Malleo made his response to Weegee's question.

"It's because they're my friends! And you're being a big, fat meanie to good people again! So I'm gonna help my pals in ending your meaniness!"

"Oh... fuck," Weegee quietly cursed.

"What's the matter?" Wily whispered.

"I can't fight against Malleo. That'd just be wrong. I've been taking care of him since '97. Even if it's for the better like ridding this world of nutjobs like Wario, I just can't do it," Weegee answered, making sure only Wily, Plankton, and Karen could hear.

"Ah ha! There's the maniac meme we've been looking for!" Master Hand exclaimed as he and E. Gadd arrived.

"Give me my flash drive back this instant! I know you have it on you! The only reason the Smashers and I came here was because I tracked that flash drive's location to this town!" Elvin informed.

"It was? Aw, we only came for boring stuff," Crazy whimpered.

"Psst, hey Weeg, Malleo dislikes that Sonic '06 thing you told me about, right?" Plankton asked the meme after he jumped up onto Weegee's shoulder just so he could quietly ask the question.

"Yeah, why?"

"Hey Malleo! Did you know that Master Hand guy is planning on forcing people to play that Sonic '06 thing you hate so much?!" Plankton lied.

"No I'm no-" Master Hand said until he was interrupted by Malleo bashing headfirst into the giant hand, sending him flying off to the outskirts of Bikini Bottom.

"You fiend! How could you do such a thing?!" Malleo screamed, believing Plankton's lie before chasing after Master Hand.

"Well... that got Malleo and Master Hand out of the picture I guess," Weegee remarked while Wily laughed up a storm. "Don't lie to my brother like that ever again though or else."

"Hey, that's cheating, Plankton!" SpongeBob claimed just before the mind controlled Sandy arrived, standing next to the hovercraft.

"Oh boo hoo, no one cares! Let's get it on! Unleash the beast!" Weegee shouted, slamming his fist onto a big, red button that sat on the hovercraft's dashboard.

~Event - Strain from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

This caused the secret compartment of the hovercraft to open up, letting the meme Weegee summoned free. The meme itself looked like a morbid, distorted, and vile version of Mr. Krabs, with an almost always open mouth that led to the dark depths of its digestive tract.

"It's Moar Krabs! I remember that guy from all of those YouTube Poops!" Crazy squealed.

"MOAR!" Moar Krabs shouted.

"Alright, enough idle talk." Weegee said, climbing out of Wily's hovercraft. "Let's finish what should have ended the day you fools brought me here!"

~Event - Strain stops as Turn The Tables On Plankton from The SpongeBob SquarePants Movie game starts~

Weegee started the big brawl by teleporting over to Waluigi and punching the lanky plumber in the gut, sending Waluigi flying away.

"PUNK!" Wario shouted before doing the exact same to Weegee and running after him. Sandy and Moar Krabs then lunged for the remaining heroes, who did the same. SpongeBob and Patrick split off from the rest of the group to take on Sandy while Falco and Crazy led the charge against Moar Krabs. Only Elvin stayed away from the fight since he lacked any real fighting capabilities, therefore meaning he could never join Smash Bros. RIP. Anyways, SpongeBob, Patrick, and Sandy stopped as soon as they were close enough to each other, with the Weegee mask analyzing the two sea creatures.

"Now Sandy, you know I hate to do this, but a sponge has to do what a spo-" However, before SpongeBob could finish what he wanted to say, Sandy zipped on over and karate chopped SpongeBob numerous times, which ended up slicing his body into little pieces... yet he still survived. Patrick retaliated by slamming his stomach into Sandy, forcing her to fly away. Patrick chased after her by cartwheeling for a bit before an already recovered SpongeBob came by, leaped up into the air, and chucked one of his karate gloves at her, though it did literally no harm to her or the Weegee mask. Sandy then recovered in mid air and whipped out her lasso before ensnaring Patrick with it. Afterwards, she jumped up high into the higher waters, dragging Patrick with her. Once the two got out of sight, a large explosion appeared in the orange skies, with Patrick screaming as he fell from the explosion moments later.

Meanwhile, everyone else aside from Wario, Waluigi, SpongeBob, and Patrick fought against Moar Krabs. The disturbing crab was pinching Crazy Hand's middle finger and clinging for dear life as the hand flailed around from the pain.

"MAKE HIM STOP!" Crazy cried out. Zigzagoon came to his friend's aid by leaping onto Moar Krab's face of doom and scratching it like wild. Moar Krabs then grabbed Zigzagoon, who was still scratching as much as it could, by the tail and chucked him back over to Vaike.

"AH! GET HIM OFF!" Vaike screeched. Everyone ignored Vaike and instead focused on freeing Crazy Hand. Lissa then sliced the arm that firmly grasped it, and by it, I mean Crazy's finger. Crazy then followed up by giving the distorted crab an uppercut to the higher, less hellish, waters. However, Moar Krab's arm quickly grew back before he managed to gain control of himself, stopping his ascent. The giant crab then started charging up a powerful laser within his mouth of doom.

"MOAR!" Moar Krabs shouted before firing the laser. The laser beam just barely missed Crazy and Lissa while everyone else were already a safe distance away from the blast.

"Gee, I didn't think I'd need all this popcorn today," Plankton remarked before munching on a very tiny piece of popcorn. The hovercraft had been brought back up into the higher waters, allowing Wily, Plankton, and Karen to watch the entire fight, though Karen instead used the time to use her phone so she could watch The Haunted Hotel Of Weegee on YouTube's mediocre mobile site. Meanwhile, a short distance away from the rest of the fight was the battle between the Wario Bros.™ and Weegee. Wario and Waluigi lunged towards Weegee from opposite sides, but the meme's hands detached from his arms and grabbed the two before throwing them into a building. Weegee then started charging up a laser from his eyes, but Lucario arrived in the nick of time and gave the evil meme an uppercut to the skies filled with flower-like clouds, giving the brothers and chance to recover.

"Why's Weegee here?! Wario, Waluigi, you two better have an explanation for this!" the Aura Pokémon demanded to know.

"Hey, why do we gotta do the explaining, huh?!" Wario replied. A "Poké Ball" then landed between the brothers and Lucario and rolled over to the Aura Pokémon before exploding. Lucario flew all the way back to where the rest of the fight was before the smoke cleared up, revealing that Weegee stood in the place of the Poké Ball. The meme grabbed the two brothers again and threw them where he sent Lucario, both of them eventually landing on their faces.

~Turn The Tables On Plankton stops~

But then a purple portal appeared in the orange skies, drawing everyone's attention away from the fight just as Malleo and Master Hand returned with Meta Knight and Sans by their side.

"Hooray, a black hole to absorb us all!" Patrick squeaked.

"That's not a black hole! That must be a portal to another dimension!" Malleo started.

"Ugh, not that place again," Meta Knight commented before Malleo finished.

"And I think what dimension it leads connects to!" A purple van then fell from the portal and landed safely on its wheels right in the middle of where the fight was. On the van's doors were the words "Universe Six's Nohrian Inquisition", painted in dark red and green.

"Universe Six?! I wish I discovered that universe!" E. Gadd groaned.

"The hell is going on?" Weegee wondered before both doors of the van swung open.

~The Lineman by Sam Spence starts to play~

"The most unexpectable and unexplainable mercenary group that also happens to be an inquisition is here!" a voice from within the van shouted. The owner of the voice, the Severa from Universe Six, then jumped out and unsheathed her sword.

"The mercenary group of two! Only consisting of a husband and wife! That is the Nohrian Inquisition!" another voice added. The only other member of the inquisition then exited the van, revealing himself as... Universe Six's Weegee, who wore an outfit similar to Severa's yet still wore his green hat

"What the fuck," Weegee cursed.

"Hey! Weegee and red girl from another dimension! I'm the guy who called you before! Now please help stop our Weegee and his friends! They're ruining everything!" Malleo ordered.

"If that's what you want, Malleo!" Universe Six's Weegee replied.

"Malleo, you called another me from some other universe just to stop me?!" Weegee asked his older brother.

"I think we better get out of here, Karen," Plankton whispered. Karen nodded before both of them leaped out of the hovercraft and sneaked all the way back to the Chum Bucket.

"Fools! You're going to have to get through our slave before you can eve-" Wily said before Patrick opened a can of Seanut Brittle... or it least it would have been if it was actually filled with Seanut Brittle and not small electric eels that would then latch onto and electrocute Sandy just enough to destroy the Weegee mask.

"Yee-haw! Nice thinking, Patrick!" Sandy declared.

"I just wanted Seanut Brittle," the starfish said.

"Oh come on!" Weegee groaned.

"Enough with all this idle chat! It's time for me to dominate Weegee yet again!" Universe Six Severa said.

"Severa, honey, I don't think anyone needed to know about our sex life," Universe Six Weegee whispered before the two Nohrian Inquisition members tackled Weegee and started beating him up. Moar Krabs jumped into the small scuffle as well, but was quickly tossed out and sent flying out of the ocean.

"I... think I'll just leave now," Wily stated before floating out of the water and entering the portal Weegee, Malleo, and the scientist himself used to get to Bikini Bottom in the first place that connected to Weegee's Island. Moments later, Universe Six Severa chucked Weegee out of the waters as well and right into the portal to his home.


~The Lineman stops as South Pacific Island 2 by Victor Cavini starts~

The bus sat by the Krusty Krab as the Smashers and even Malleo, Lissa, and Vaike were getting ready to head back to the Smash World. Universe Six's Nohrian Inquisition took off into a portal just as some of the last Smashers climbed into the bus. Some of the Bikini Bottomites, including SpongeBob, Patrick, Sandy, Old Man Jenkins, and Frank waited by the bus, wanting to say their last goodbyes.

"I guess this is goodbye, SpongeBob," Crazy said to his new friend.

"Not goodbye, Crazy. Just so long," SpongeBob claimed.

"SpongeBob, we all know goodbye and so long mean the same thing," Patrick stated.

"C'mon Crazy! I don't want to leave either, but Lucario's getting crankier and more annoying than usual!" Wario shouted, poking his head through one of the bus windows. Crazy sighed and floated back to the bus, stopping by the door and turning back, noticing the Krusty Krab 2 being built. Knowing what would happen soon, Crazy was about to warn SpongeBob and Patrick, but came to the conclusion that they didn't need help if the events played out as they were supposed to. He then entered the bus, the door closing itself, before Master Hand started the engines. The Bikini Bottomites waved goodbye as the bus flew out of the ocean, but they all stopped waving once it was out of sight.

~South Pacific Island 2 stops~

Everyone but SpongeBob left to go back home and get some good night's sleep, but the sponge didn't budge an inch. The "screen" zoomed in onto his face and then his eyes, revealing that something was in his left eye for some reason.

That thing being a burning replica of the Super Smash Brothers logo.

Chapter Text

Episode 17: Smash Five Auditions

NOVEMBER 23rd, 2016

~Holiday Dream by Max Mahlmann starts to play~

Despite the amount of destruction caused by the Darmanitan group, Heavy Weapons Guy, and the rest of the weirdos while most of the Smash crew were at Bikini Bottom, most of it had been fixed, with little damage left in need of fixing. Lucario was spending his time right outside of the Smasher's Palace, reading the book "The Subspace Emissary's Worlds Conquest" with a smile on his face.

"Heh... sure is nice to have some nice peace again," Lucario remarked, turning the page before glancing over to the Wario Bros., who were hanging upside-down from a nearby tree. "Even those two aren't being a problem, despite still being the morons they are."

"Waa... I think I can feel all the blood flowing to my head..." Wario calmly remarked.

"All I feel is a lot of pressure, but maybe that's the blood. But wow, does this pressure feel good... I've never felt so relaxed... or smart!" Waluigi replied.

"I feel smart too! So smart, I've rewritten the entire script to Tournament Gone Wrong!" Wario said before showing his brother a piece of paper... which had absolutely nothing to do with that crappy Tournament Gone Wrong story on it and instead had a realistic drawing of Dankey Kang summoning Satan.

"Ha... morons," Lucario remarked before taking his attention back to the book.

~Holiday Dream stops~

Suddenly, Master Hand arrived as fast as he could, stopping right in front of Lucario.

"LUCARIO! I NEED YOUR HELP!" the giant hand screamed as Lucario jumped onto his feet from shock.

"Gah! Master Hand! What's going on?! Why are you somehow sweating through your glove?! Did Crazy take that demon thing of Bayonetta's to the circus again?!"

"No! I completely forgot about my plans on ending this tournament and preparing for the next tournament I had set for last week!"

"NOOOOO! Anything but the tournament plans!" Crazy Hand hollered as he arrived while spazzing as usual. "Lemme help! Please?!"

"The more the merrier! Now, remember when you two hosted the auditions for the last tournament?"

"Oh yeah! That was fun as heck!" Crazy said.

"Oh no," Lucario thought.

"Good! Now, I had auditions just like that for the next tournament set for today, and many potential newcomers will come in about an hour. I need you two to host the auditions while I go see if I can find a good spot for the next tournament to be hosted at. If you need any help, Meta Knight, Mario, nearly anyone can help. Good luck!" Master Hand informed the two before bolting out of the Smash Grounds and into the surrounding wilderness.

"Help? From anyone? Hey Wario, Waluigi, wanna help us with some auditions?! You two can vote who gets in the next tournament!" Crazy shouted. The two brothers then fell from the tree and scurried over to the giant hand and Lucario.

"With pleasure!" Wario said.

"Oh sweet Arceus no..." Lucario mentally groaned. "Last time was bad enough with just Crazy Hand..." A thought bubble then appeared next to Lucario's head, featuring a few of Lucario's memories from the last auditions at the Brawl Grounds.

~Gourmet Race - Pumpkin Grand & Onion Garden from Kirby Super Star starts to play~

OCTOBER 30TH, 2011

Sitting at a booth right next to Brawl's Final Destination stage, a long line of characters waited to speak with Lucario and Crazy Hand. First up was Eyerok, but instead of an actual audition, Crazy Hand just challenged the pair of rocky hands with eyes to a thumb war... a lengthy, brutal thumb war filled with bombs and bullets that would cost Eyerok its left thumb, which would take years to fully repair.


A little later, the line had shrunk a bit, and next in line was Taizo Hori, more commonly known as Dig Dug. While Lucario and Taizo were having an unusually calm conversation for that audition's standards, Crazy had stolen Taizo's air pump and began pumping air into one of Balloon Fighter's balloons as the fighter waited in line. In a matter of milliseconds, the balloon caused Balloon Fighter himself to rise up into the air. While no one cared because Balloon Fighter was perfectly used to floating in the air via inflated balloons, Kirby came by whilst riding a Warp Star, knocking into Balloon Fighter and popping the inflated balloon, causing him to fall back to the ground. Upon impact, Balloon Fighter fell unconscious. Villager approached his body, wondering if the fighter was OK, but seconds after, Balloon Fighter's helmet fell on top of Villager's big head. A dark little grin spread across Villager's face as he decided to keep the helmet for himself before getting back in line.


About an hour later, the line's length had been cut in half. Next up was a Zoroark, who was showing off some of its moves to Lucario and Crazy. As a grand finale of sorts, the Zoroark showed off her signature technique, the ability to flawlessly transform into the appearance of another being, by transforming into a copy of Crazy Hand. Unfortunately, Zoroark also copied Crazy's batshit crazy personality nigh perfectly, spazzing just like the real Crazy before both of them began to screech about how they wanted Waluigi to join the next game, which both completely confused AND horrified Lucario.

~Gourmet Race - Pumpkin Grand & Onion Garden stops~

"Hey!" Wario shouted, causing Lucario's thought bubble of flashbacks to vanish with a pop as well as jolting the Pokémon back into reality.

"Sorry to burst your thought bubble Lucario, but we gotta get ready for the auditions!" Crazy said before he and the brothers walked away, ready to build the booth for the auditions. Lucario sighed and covered his eyes with his hands while shaking his head.

"And with those two helping with the auditions, it's going to make last time seem like a cakewalk," Lucario groaned, putting his hands down and stopping the head shaking. "I guess some sort of chaos had to happen today..."


An hour later, Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, and Lucario had built the booth and took a seat at said booth. At the gates not to far from the quartet of minimal intelligence, a hoard of hyperactive weirdos waiting to get evaluated, only being held back by Metal Mario, Metal Luigi, Donkey Kong, and Captain Falcon keeping the gates shut tight.

"Can't wait to watch the mayhem," Bowser chuckled as he and Ganondorf sat not to far away from the booth with a popcorn machine that ran on the energy of the powerful Helix fossil placed right behind them.

"Yeah. Now hand me a bucket of that salty popcorn, ASAP," Ganondorf replied.

"Salty? Sorry bucko, I only brought sweet popcorn."

"What? But salty's way better than sweet popcorn! It's salty just like the tears of the lower lifeforms when I burn their homes, break their bones, and force them to watch Fifty Shades Of Grey on repeat for about seven hours!"

"How dare you say that! Salty's OK, but sweet is the best!"

"No, you fat buffoon! Sweet can't compare to salty!"



And then the two villains began to wrestle in front of their popcorn machine. While everyone else were oblivious to the brawl, three beings who had sneaked into the grounds, hidden within bushes close to the scuffle and the booth, spied on Bowser and Ganondorf. Those three were Judd, Li'l Judd, and Sheldon, all with paper and pens in hand.

"Purrfect! Salty popcorn versus sweet popcorn is a great idea for a Splatfest! I'm writing this one down! Make sure you write some stuff down too, Li'l J," Judd said. While Judd wrote his idea down, all Li'l Judd did was stare at his piece of paper, which only had one Splatfest idea on it: tits versus ass.

"Well, I think we're all set," Lucario said. "Alright boys, let them i-" Suddenly, the potential newcomers broke the gates down, screaming and trampling over Metal Mario, Metal Luigi, Donkey Kong, and Captain Falcon before they formed a line in front of the booth.

~Choose An Inkling! from Splatoon starts to play~

And first up was Agent Three of the New Squidbreak Splatoon, one of the few potential newcomers who weren't insanely and destructively hyped.

"Hello! I'm... er, just call me Agent Three!" the female Inkling said.

"Alright then, Agent Three. Show us what you can do," Lucario said.

~Choose An Inkling! stops as Tutorial from the same game starts~

"Sure thing, blue dude!" Agent Three said, readying her Splattershot Jr. "First, I can fire ink from my weapons!" Before Agent Three fired ink around, Lucario let out a yelp and pulled an umbrella out to block any and all ink from touching him. Once a few drops of ink splashed onto Lucario's umbrella, Sheldon gasped a gasp of happiness.

"Hey! That gives me a new weapon idea!" Sheldon said, quickly sketching out a doodle of his idea. Soon enough, his idea was on paper, revealing that his idea was an umbrella with four robotic, noodle-y arms that held a gun, a bomb, a chainsaw, and a Dinner Blaster.

"The ink I fire can damage enemies AND slow them down," Agent Three informed as Lucario lowered his umbrella. "I can even swim in the ink!" The Inkling then transformed into her squid form before swimming through the trail of ink.

"Wait... a squid thingy that can fire ink from cartoonish weapons and can swim through the ink?" Crazy muttered. "Woah! That's one of those fancy Inkling things I've heard about!"

"Waa? Inkling? What's that?" Wario wondered.

"Wario! How do you not know what an Inkling is?!" the giant hand inquired. "They're a recent, new thing, and that alone means they're uber important and relevant!" Suddenly, Agent Three swam back and morphed back into her humanoid form, ending the conversation between the two idiotic friends.

"And that's that! Well, besides the other weapons I didn't bring along, but I have lots of them back home!"

~Tutorial stops~

"Hmm... that does sound interesting, but it al-"

"Shoo-in! We've got no reason to leave her out! We must add the shoo-in!" Crazy spazzingly said.

"Crazy, you madman! Quiet down for a moment!" Lucario demanded as the insane hand continued to ramble about how there was no reason to leave Agent Three out or any Inkling out of Smash. Waluigi looked at Wario for an answer, only for Wario to shrug. Despite that, the two brothers decided to join in on the insistence that Agent Three must be in.

"Congratulations, Agent Three DS! You've passed this portion of the trial!" Crazy finally said, grabbing a piece of paper and checking off every requirement listed on it, which included "recent", "relevant", "popular", and "unique", before pushing Agent Three all the way over to Zelda, who was just standing not too far from the booth. "Zelda! Take this shoo-in to the living room in the palace!"

"Sure... come, little weirdo," Zelda said before the two left and as Crazy returned to the booth.

~Down In The Cellar from Wario Land 2 starts to play~

"Crazy, what was that?! All that screaming about how we couldn't leave her out and even disregarding my opinions before immediately passing her?!" Lucario demanded to know.

"We DID have no reason to leave her out though! She's too important to leave out of Smash!" Crazy insisted.

"Yeah, listen to Crazy, you loser!" Waluigi added, with Wario nodding in agreement. Lucario let out a big groan before continuing with the argument.

"She also has the potential to be too good for Smash without really limiting her powers. If we limit her abilities too much, she'll lose what makes her and the rest of the Inkli-"

"No! Wrong! She can get in just fine without limiting her powers! Being able to cover the entire stage with hazardous ink that slows people down is perfectly balanced! And even if we had to nerf her, she'd still have the charm, no matter how much we nerfed her!" Crazy demanded as Mario came to clean the ink up.

"Are you even really taking other possibilities other than your own thoughts into mind here?! Stop and go through what you just said again an-" Lucario tried to reply before the line started acting up.

~Down In The Cellar stops~

"C'mon, get the line moving! Some of us want to start showing what we got sometime today!" Spring Man said. Lucario sighed as the other three judges stared at the angry crowd with blank expressions.

"Alright, enough with this conversation. We got a mob to review," the Pokémon said to his fellow judges before speaking to the line. "Next!" The line then slowly moved forward as the next to be evaluated, Ridley, approached the booth.

~Upper Norfair from Super Metroid starts to play~

"I hope he doesn't remember what you said back when we played Gmod that one day," Wario whispered into Waluigi's ear.

"Ah, you two. Crazy Hand and Lucario. I remember you two well since you evaluated me last time. I wish it was a pleasure to meet aga-"

~Upper Norfair stops~

"Too big," was all Crazy said.

"Uh, yeah! Too big, waa!" Wario added before Waluigi nodded in agreement.

"Hmph. You sure didn't care about that last time, even though that metallic Mario claimed your brother did, Crazy Hand. However, I came prepared this time. I have managed to find a way to circumvent this size issue, a way to make my addition an addition you and your brother can't refuse," Ridley stated, pulling out a Mini Mushroom before swallowing it. Even though a Mini Mushroom would shrink smaller beings down to a much smaller size, Ridley stopped shrinking as soon as he came to about Bowser's size. And yes Bowser and Ganondorf were still fighting about the popcorn.

"Still not happening," Crazy bluntly stated.

"What?! Why?! We got that big issue Master Hand was whining about last time, why is it still not happening?!"

"Because now you're not yourself now that you're this size. Everything important about you has been lost. You being huge is the correct way," the hand claimed.

"What?! WHAT?!" Lucario exclaimed.

"Yeah, what Lucario said, what?! I'm suddenly not the space dragon I am because of a bit of a difference in height?! Yet you let in that weirdo over there when you had to limit him to a smaller amount of his plant slaves to prevent him from being broken?!" Ridley replied, pointing to Olimar.

"Hello," Olimar said, waving to the "screen".

"And you have Ganondorf doing nothing but punches when he rarely fights like that?!" the leader of the Space Pirates adding, pointing to the brawl between Bowser and Ganondorf as the Gerudo used his Dead Man's Volley attack to attack the Koopa King from a distance. "You even let that squid kid thing in, claiming you had no reason to leave them out, when they need their powers to be limited, and you even said that no matter how much you limited them, they'd still have their charm! Pretty much everyone here is limited in one way or another, some in way more drastic ways than I am, yet I'm an exception just because I'm a bit smaller than usual?! That's insane and hypocritical!"

"Hmm... maybe this Mini Mushroom thing isn't a solution, but not for Crazy's idiotic reasoning," Meta Knight said as he arrived. "After all, that Mini Mushroom might not last for long. Even if Ridley could get his hands on more of those mushrooms, he'll still need a lot to last for the whole tournament."

"Now see, that's actually a fair point. You should take notes, all three of you," Lucario suggested to the other judges.

"Yeah, fair point. Or if, say, this was nothing but a video game, it would be difficult for a developer to shrink me down without using an absurd amount of resources or development time. Yeah," Ridley responded.

"Shut up!" Crazy screamed before uppercutting Ridley into the skies above.

"Ugggghh... it's starting to get as bad as last time again..." Lucario complained.

"Need me to serve as the fifth judge to try and salvage the evaluating? I think you'd need one anyway to prevent a possible tie," Meta Knight asked.

"Oh yes, bless you Meta Knight, yes, grab a chair and save me," the Aura Pokémon said in response.


~Classic: Map from Super Smash Bros. For 3DS/ Wii U starts to play~

After a few grueling hours of judging, the evaluations were over. Those who passed the first round of evaluation were gathered in the Smasher's Palace's lobby, ready for the last part of the trial. Aside from Agent Three, a huge chunk of noteworthy characters, such as King K. Rool, Bandana Dee, Toad, Dixie Kong, and a Meowth, some other Nintendo characters that weren't really noteworthy, like Midna, Daisy, an Incineroar, and a Decidueye, and even some third party characters, like Shadow the Hedgehog, Crash Bandicoot, Rayman, and Sans were among those lucky to have passed the evaluations.

~Classic: Map stops with a record scratch~

"Hold it, hold everything!" Lucario demanded as soon as he found a certain someone in the crowd of those who passed the judging. "Waluigi! Get over here!"

"Waa, what is it now, fleabag?" the lanky weirdo wondered, approaching Lucario, Wario, Crazy, and Meta Knight.

"Why on this danged planet are you with the potential newcomers?! We never evaluated you, so why are you with them?!"

"Well, remember when we had the argument about Crazy's claim that some god who doesn't even have complete control of this "franchise" considers Super Smash Bros. For 3DS and Super Smash Bros. For Wii U were apparently different games and thus Smash for Switch would be the sixth Smash game and that the next tournament would be the sixth but, despite you having no idea what Crazy was even talking about, which admittedly me and Wario didn't understand either and just went along with what he said because he's our friend, you argued that "word of god", a term you mocked, doesn't change the fact that SSB for 3DS and Wii U were just different versions of the same game, especially when you claimed the real "god", apparently some sorta company, behind Smash Bros. never mention them to be separate games, and that even if they were the same game, that wouldn't change the fact that the next tournament would still be the fifth because the current tournament is a mix of those two games?" Waluigi said.

"Wait, we went that far into detail about that?" Lucario muttered.

"Well..." Waluigi said before finally explaining about how he passed the evaluations.

~Passage Boss from Wario Land 4 starts to play~

Forty F ive Minutes Earlier...

Wario, Crazy Hand, Lucario, and Meta Knight were having a big fight not too far behind the booth, with Waluigi just staring at the melee with the angry mob of potential newcomers. However, while the four had their pointless skirmish, Waluigi sneaked back over to the booth, grabbed one of the papers, wrote his name at the top part that required the name of the potential newcomer, left a check mark next to every requirement, and wrote a little "WAA" at the bottom in the notes section before jumping into the fray.

~Passage Boss stops~

"Ugh, of course you'd cheat..." Lucario groaned before finding two others who went without a genuine evaluation within the crowd. "What?! That Zigzagoon too?! And even SpongeBob?!"

"Hi," SpongeBob quickly said.

"Hey, three out of five like them, and that's all that matters. I can be biased with that one," Crazy said, "glaring" at Lucario and Meta Knight. Lucario let out another sigh before grabbing a megaphone.

"Alright everyone, listen up. The last part of the auditions is way different than the judging. You'll all have to pass a series of tests, such as fighting enemies and sending some Sandbags swinging," the Pokémon's voice boomed. "If you pass enough of these tests, odds are you'll be in the next tournament."

"Yeah! And then you'll get to deal with this thing!" Wario added, holding Jigglypuff.

"Some-BODY ONCE TOLD ME THE WORLD IS GONNA ROLL ME," Jigglypuff sang in Steve Harwell's voice.

"OH MY ARCEUS! AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHH!" a Golisopod in the crowd screamed as they ran out of the building, afraid of Jigglypuff's singing because they have bad taste in music.

"Put Jigglypuff down," Meta Knight demanded. Wario begrudging did so before Jigglypuff wandered off.

"Ugh... let the tests begin!" Lucario exclaimed, earning a roar of cheer from the crowd.


Agent Three was on the otherwise empty Battlefield stage as Wario and Lucario managed the stage in the control room that sat in front of the iconic stage itself.

"Listen up, Agent Three! Your first test is to defeat all of the Miis without getting smashed into the blast lines!" Lucario informed the Inkling.

"Bring them on then! I can handle them!" Agent Three claimed, readying her Splattershot Jr. With her ready for action, Lucario pressed a button that caused three Miis of the Fighting Mii Team to spawn. One was a generic male, another was a generic female, and the last looked like Shrek.

"Oh hello there!" the Shrek Mii greeted in Shrek's own voice before Agent Three sent him flying with a blast of ink.

~Multi Man Smash from Super Smash Bros. For 3DS/ Wii U starts to play~

The other two Miis then charged for her, but she just kept on shooting, spreading ink ahead and eventually forcing them to fly off Battlefield. Seconds after, three other Miis spawned, forcing her to jump, swim, and run up and down and all around before taking them out. After that, three more Miis appeared, and the process kept repeating.

~Multi Man Smash stops~

But the stage had already been completely drenched in green ink, slowing the enemy Miis to the point where they could barely move at all, granting Agent Three the chance to easily eliminate them.

"See, this is why these Inklings need some kind of nerf to how much they ink they can leave on the stage or something," Lucario said to Wario, though Wario intentionally ignored his words.


Bandana Dee was charging through the Smash Run arena with Meta Knight and Link spectating from a control room similar to the ones used for the regular stages. The standout Waddle Dee that set himself apart from generic, carefree parasol holders was on the floating island at the top right corner of the arena, fighting off numerous enemies. After taking down a Koffing, a bunch of Waddle Dees spawned in front of Bandana Dee. Despite the fact that they were supposed to fight, neither side raised their weapons against the other.

"My friends... do you really wish to fight me?" Bandana Dee asked the Waddle Dee gang.

~The boss battle theme from Kirby Star Allies starts to play~

"No! We would never fight you! No... we will fight ALONGSIDE you!" one of the Waddle Dees replied.

"Wait a minute! That's cheating!" Link shouted as the Waddle Dees and Bandana Dee began to attack the incoming Bullet Bills that aimed for Bandana Dee.

"Waa, did someone say cheating?! We loving cheating!" Waluigi shouted before he and Wario landed on the floating island. Wario pulled out the Dinner Blaster and fired burning plates of lotsa spaghetti at the killer bullets before a lone Kritter spawned between the brothers and the Waddle Dee army. However, Bandana Dee and Waluigi ganged up on the Kritter, Bandana Dee stabbing the Kremling with his spear and Waluigi smashing his tennis racket into the Kritter's face. Waluigi then finished the Kritter off with a lecture on what hitboxes are and how they work in the Smash Bros. series. As the fight between the Waddle Dee army and the Bullet Bills continued, Link facepalmed himself as Meta Knight just stared at the chaos, only somewhat annoyed by it all, before he left the control room to end the cheating.


~The boss battle theme stops~

King K. Rool was in the Target Blast arena, beating up a bomb that would be used to destroy the targets ahead of the Kremling King. R.O.B. and Crazy Hand were the supervisors, watching from the Target Blast arena's special control room as the countdown for the bomb went down. Before the explosive exploded because what the hell else would happen, K. Rool used his Blunderbuss's suction powers to suck it up before firing the bomb... but instead of heading towards the targets, he accidentally fired the bomb high into the sky.

"What?! Why'd that crummy bomb go flyin' that high?!" K. Rool complained.

"OH DEAR. WALUIGI, YOU KEEP HELPING WITH THE AUDITIONS WHILE I LOOK FOR THE BOMB," R.O.B. said before moving out of the control booth.


The main protagonist from DOOM, named Doomguy because that's what his mother, a bag of Doritos, decided to call him as soon as he was born, was on The Great Cave Offensive stage, waiting for Wario and Lucario to give him his next test.

"Alright, we're running out of ideas for tests, so here's what we're gonna do for you. Since you claim you're some sort of demon killer thing, we're gonna to have you kill all the demons and keep everyone else alive!" Wario said from within the stage's control room.


"Relax, blue fleabag. We're only throwing in fake demons and fake people," Wario told Lucario. "Get ready, we're sending in the fake demons and whatnot!"

"Ready!" Doomguy said, holding onto his shotgun. Wario then slammed a button, causing the fake "demons", which were stuffed dolls of Lucario that had demon horns and a demon tail. That, and a png of Peter Griffin with the back of his wrists on his hips and a smug ass look on his face.

"OH MY ARCEUS..." Lucario groaned as soon as he saw the "demons".

"Waa, we were on a low budget, so I had to improvise," Wario stated.

"Um... I see no demons, real or fake," Doomguy said, looking at one of the Lucario dolls before analyzing the Peter Griffin png that kept facing the "screen" "This thing's giving me some weird vibes though." Doomguy turned around again, this time finding GengarFan3 in the midst of the Lucario dolls. "AH! AN ACTUAL DEMON!"

"Hello there Mr. Doomguy! Do you have a moment to talk about the most perfect being, Ha-" GengarFan3 tried to say before Doomguy fired a rocket from his rocket launcher at the idiotic crackfic writer.

"Say your prayers, demon!" Doomguy shouted.

"OK, maybe later," GengarFan3 said. The idiotic crackfic writer then ran of the stage, only for Doomguy to give chase while firing more rockets.

"NOOOOO! WE CAN'T LET THAT MANIAC RUN AROUND WITH THAT ROCKET LAUNCHER!" Lucario yelled, grabbing onto Wario's shirt and running out of the control room with the yellow wacko in tow.


~Trophy Rush from Super Smash Bros. for 3DS/ Wii U starts to play~

Agent Three was sitting by the Battlefield stage, relaxing since she had completed all of her tests. However, Doomguy's screaming caught her attention, and thus she saw GengarFan3 run past, Doomguy chasing after him, and one of the Marine's rockets explode on impact with the ground not too far ahead. Wario and Lucario came by seconds later, with Lucario raising a sign that read "ALL WHO ARE PARTICIPATING IN THE AUDITIONS FOR THE NEXT SMASH BROTHERS: THE FINAL TEST IS TO CATCH DOOMGUY" over his head. Agent Three read the whole sign before firing a line of ink ahead and swimming through it to at least catch up with the two Smashers, if not then Doomguy.


The Waddle Dee army, Bandana Dee, and King Dedede having a party right outside the Smasher's Palace when GengarFan3 zoomed past. Dedede and Bandana Dee stared at him with a confused look before Doomguy fired another rocket, one that would accidentally destroy the giant cake for the party.

"Hey! We didn't sing that Cooking By The Book song for our cake to get ruined, maniac!" Dedede complained once Doomguy and GengarFan3 started getting out of sight and just as Wario, Lucario, and Agent Three charged by. Dedede and his followers then ran after Doomguy, with a hammer, a spear, a ton of pitchforks, and a Light Saber to attack him with.


King K. Rool was eating sweet popcorn, watching the somehow still active fight between Bowser and Ganondorf despite the chaos that was going on. However, the fight instantly ending the instant a rocket barely zoomed over Bowser and Ganondorf's heads before the rocket blew up right in front of the Gerudo Valley stage. GengarFan3 and Doomguy then passed by, both of them screaming.

"Hold the hell up! No one tries to destroy the stage based off of my homeland and gets away with it!" Ganondorf yelled, chasing after the two dumbasses.

"Wait for me!" Bowser ordered. King K. Rool watched the two run off before noticing Wario and Lucario's gang dashing by. He then shrugged, chucked his popcorn bucket at Ness, and joined the chase himself.


Sans was standing by Warp Pipe that was sticking out of a giant tree right outside of the Smash Grounds, just standing there while looking at the "screen" until GengarFan3 and Doomguy entered the Warp Pipe. He then turned his head, finding the angry mob, now much larger with the likes of Falco, Crazy Hand, Meta Knight, Lucina, Chef Kawasaki, and many others, before they two went within the Warp Pipe. Sans shrugged and quickly followed after them. GengarFan3, Doomguy, and the angry mob, after exiting the other end of the Warp Pipe, found themselves on Weegee's Island, where even more of the once smiley flowers frowned, and even zipped past Weegee himself, but no one noticed. All of them then entered another Warp Pipe, getting stuck in a chain of constantly to going places via Warp Pipes. The group of morons and very few non-morons went to Green Hill Zone, Smashtopolis, Koridai, Bikini Bottom, Gangplank Galleon, and the interior of SpongeBob's mind before coming back to the Smash Grounds, where Waluigi was standing there, sneezing a lot.

"Waa-CHO! Waa-CHO!" the lanky weirdo sneezed, catching Wario's attention.

"WaaaaaAAAAAAAAAACHU!" a Pikachu with Waluigi's face that appeared from nowhere screamed before shrinking into nothingness.

"Wally, there you are! We need to stop that Doomguy from firing rockets or whatever!" Wario informed his brother.

"Waa... whadda ya want me to do about it? Pointlessly chase after him?" Waluigi asked.

"No Waluigi. I think we need to use our secret technique."

~Trophy Rush stops~

The mention of the "secret technique" caused Waluigi's pupils to shrink and leave his moth agape until his spoke again.

"What?! That technique?! Why can't you just use the Dinn-"

"I left my Dinner Blaster somewhere and I can't find it!"

"Oh... let's do it," Waluigi groaned. Wario then lifted Waluigi onto his shoulder, turned around, and aimed at Doomguy.

"WALUIGI LAUNCHER!" a mysterious voice said.

"FIRE!" Wario yelled before Waluigi started flying, though the world seemingly went into slow-motion as Waluigi made his way over to the chaotic Doomguy. Soon enough, Waluigi passed the angry mob and started getting really close to Doomguy... yet, as Waluigi inched towards his target, a bunch of polygonal, slightly unstable Crash Bandicoots flew at the "screen", all of them screaming "Woah!". Once Waluigi was just inches away from the Marine, the Crash clones suddenly vanished.

... But Doomguy somehow dodged the attack as time started flowing normally again, resulting in Waluigi flying right past him and, upon the slightest contact with the crackfic write, obliterated GengarFan3 instead... and unfortunately, GengarFan3 would come back from the dead soon. Sad ! Oh well, at least Doomguy stopped his inane rocket launcher rampage.

"What a marvelous, destructive death," Chef Kawasaki remarked.

"There! The demon is dead!" Doomguy stated as Waluigi crashed into the ground. "Now everything's back to normal!"

"THE HECK IT IS!" Master Hand, who had just returned to see the ruined stages, hellish fires, some of the absurd potential newcomers that passed the evaluations, and an ahegao face that Snake drew on a larger poster before Crazy had hung it on the front of the Smasher's Palace, replied with a heavy dose of fury in his voice. "LOOK AT THIS MESS! WHAT EVEN HAPPENED HERE?!"

"This Doomguy here decided to use a rocket launcher to try and blow up a "demon"," Meta Knight said.

"And that only happened because Wario decided to test that Doomguy by having him destroy fake demons! Not too mention all the chaos that happened during the evaluations because Crazy thought it would be a good idea to let Wario and Waluigi serve as judges!" Lucario added. Master Hand then slowly turned his body towards the nervous trio of Wario, Waluigi, and Crazy.

"WARIO... WALUIGI..." Master Hand growled.

"WAA! RUN!" Wario shouted. But before any of them could flee from the scene, the bomb King K. Rool had forced into the skies above had came back down and blew up on the three. Once the explosion ended, despite still standing, they were all covered with soot. Seconds later, they all fell to the ground, unable to move.


"Wait a minute... but I was the one who sent that bomb flying... so that means..." K. Rool thought, realizing the truth. "AAAAAAHHHH! I DID A GOOD DEED!" K. Rool ran around in a circle, crying about his good deed as the Peter Griffin png returned, slowly rising up in front of the "screen" as everyone were unaware of his presence. But it wouldn't take more than a few seconds for him to gather their attention through a certain action.

"I'M iN ThE VIdEO GaME TOO!1!" PeterGriffin . png screeched in an 8-Bit yet somewhat demonic voice, instantly silencing K. Rool's screams and gathering everyone's eyes and ears and mouths and credit cards.

"AH, DEMON!" Doomguy yelled before shooting PeterGriffin . png in the back with his shotgun, taking the living png's life with one shot. "I knew that thing was secretly a demon! My instincts are always right!"

Chapter Text

Episode 18: Wario Falls In Love

NOVEMBER 24th, 2016

~Shop from Undertale starts to play~

Wario, Lucario, Falco, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, Snake, and Zelda were at the Dragon's Pharmacy that was in the middle of Smashtopolis. Only Wario, Falco, Crazy, and Duck Hunt Dog payed much attention to the medications while the other three mostly kept an eye on the three nutjobs to make sure they didn't start up trouble.

"What kind of meds are we looking for?" Falco asked as he squinted his eyes at a container of Pingasagra.

"We're looking for some Sneezey Breezy and Global Cooling! Those are the two that'll end Waluigi's cold he got last night," Wario reminded the space pilot. "I hope Wally's feeling a bit better..."

~Shop stops~


Waluigi was in his and Wario's room back at the Smasher's Palace, sitting in bed with a thermometer in his mouth.

"Waa, stupid Dr. Mario... not helping me... loser," Waluigi groaned. Suddenly, an urge to sneeze stirred within him, swiftly reaching his nose. "Waa... WAA... WAA-CHOO!" Aside from the usual mucus, a dart came right out of Waluigi's glorious nose once he sneezed before puncturing through a picture of Luigi that hung over Wario's bed, landing right on Luigi's nose. "Heh-heh, bull's-eye." The purple maniac then grabbed another dart and tried to ram it up his nose before he suddenly coughed up one of the blue Chill Viruses.

~Chill (Critical!) from Dr. Mario 64 starts to play~

"WAA! VIRUS!" Waluigi screamed.


"UGLY?! You already sickened me, but you decide to further sicken me by calling me ugly?! I may not be healthy, but I'm healthy enough to give you the beat down you deserve!" Waluigi then leaped out of bed and pounced on the large virus, starting a rumble with it.


~Chill (Critical!) stops as Shop starts again~

"I ain't finding any Sneezey Breezy or Global Cooling. Just some generic vitamins and pills," Duck Hunt Dog said.

"I'm only finding some candy," Crazy informed while staring at bags of cough drops.

"I found something with an actual point in doing while we're here," Lucario said before sitting down and reading an incredibly outdated tabloid.

"Waa... they gotta be here somewhere!" Wario grumbled before staring at the meds on the closest shelf. "Let's see... Hana Cream, For Da Throat Tea, Smash Edition Cough Drops... bah! Where are they?! Oh, at least they have some of that ointment I need..."

"Wario, you moron. If you can't find them, go to one of the workers and ask them were the medications are," Lucario suggested.

"Fine! Stupid flea bag..." Wario muttered before heading to the front counter with the white ointment in hand. However, by the time Wario arrived, no one was behind the counter...

~Shop stops again~

... until literally a second afterward, when SHE rose up, instantly catching Wario's attention. Wario even squeezed the ointment tube so much from seeing the interesting girl behind the counter that some of the white ointment flew into the air and landed on Zelda's face.

~Encounter! Lisia from Pokémon: Omega Ruby/ Alpha Sapphire starts to play~

"Wait..." Wario muttered within his head as he quickly took in the girl's appearance. "I remember her from that Fire Emblem Fates game! Those lovely eyes! That red hair! And especially that finger on her face while she makes that sly smile! It's her! It's that beautiful, money-loving, arrow-slinging Anna girl!"

~Encounter! Lisia stops~

And then Wario's thoughts were brought to a sudden end due to Zelda slapping him on the face.

"Wario, you idiot! Be careful with that ointment!" Zelda said before cleaning the ointment off her face. While Zelda berated Wario some more, Anna took the chance to take in the yellow weirdo's appearance.

~Careless Whisper by George Micheal starts to play~

"Mmm... nigh perfect. Especially those muscles... Niiiiiice..." Anna thought as he smile grew and her eyelids lowered. "The perfect specimen to... bring out the whips and heels and such for. Yes..."

~Carelress Whisper stops~

"And Wario! Are you ever going to ask where those medications are, or are you just going to stand there all day?!" Zelda said once all the ointment was off of her, ending Anna's train of thought and chaos.

"I'm getting to that! Sheesh, calm down a bit, will ya?!" Wario replied. "So uh, yeah, sorry about that, Anna."

"Oh, so you know my name? I'm that recognizable?" Anna said.

"Waa, sure do, for... reasons. Now, uh, where can we find some Global Cooling and Sneezey Breezy?"

"I got some right here!" Anna said, sliding the meds across the counter just like how I slide into Twitter DMs before said DMs mutate into Undyne.

"Aw yeah! Lemme get the cash out quick then..." the weirdo clad in yellow and purple responded, digging into his overall pockets for the money before placing it all on the counter, plus an extra few coins from the Mushroom Kingdom. "And tell ya what. Because you like money just as much as I do, plus just because I like you, I'mma give you a bit more than you want. Just for you."

"Wha..." Anna muttered.

"Yeah, waa's me and my brother's catchphrase. Don't wear it, cause you can't wear words."

"Wario, that's not even close to how the saying goes," Lucario informed, which resulted in Wario chucking a life-sized statue of Pepsi Man at the poor Pokémon before Anna spoke up again.

"Ah, when I said "wha" before, I was just... shocked. Outside of my family, no one, not even some of my closest friends have given me money just because they liked me. And more importantly, it's really nice to see someone outside of the family who claims they're such a large money enthusiast. In fact... why don't we hang out for a bit? I'm done with my shift in just a couple of minutes."

"Oh yeah, waa-nderful! Hey Crazy, Falco!" Wario said before the two came up right next to him. "Take the meds and give them to Waluigi for me. I'll catch up with you guys later. Probably thirty minutes after you guys get back to the palace at most."

"Uh... OK Wario. C'mon everyone, we gotta go cure Waluigi!" Crazy commanded before flying out of the pharmacy with both medications in tow. Falco and Zelda quickly chased after him while Lucario went back to reading his outdated tabloid after recovering from the Pepsi Man statue being thrown at his face and Snake just stared at Wario and Anna with a confused look.

"Really? Love at first sight for both of them? That's cliche and unrealistic as hell," Snake remarked.

"Snake, compared to some of the other oddities that have occurred within this world, especially the recent oddities, that relationship is rather realistic. Just saying," Lucario pointed out, still reading the tabloid.


~Ability Planet from Kirby Star Allies starts to play~

After Anna's shift ended, the merchant and Wario decided to walk through the nearby All-Star Park, where Pidgey were chirping, where the Waddle Dees were playing, where Cranky Kong was whining about how the ongoing Zinger-Kremling War at Crocodile Isle failed to keep King K. Rool away from the Smash Grounds during the auditions, where Shrek just opened the door to one of the park's outhouses and stepped out of it, and where Ness, Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki were running away from a floating, T-Posing Sans while Monika watched the bizarre event unfold, even taking notes of the strange occurrence.

"Waa, sure is a nice day today," Wario said.

"Sure is. Every single last detail here reminds me of my last birthday party, and what a day that was. There's even someone T-Posing and floating in the air over there, just like when Takumi decided to T-Pose and float at the end of my party," Anna responded.

"I didn't know tacos could T-Pose," Wario commented. He took a glance at Anna again and quickly noticed something off with her hands. "Woah, you have six fingers? On both hands?"

"Yeah, not sure why. None of my siblings have them, so even within my family it's... weird."

"Eh, not as weird as me. I mean, look at me. I'm... well, a special kind of weird."

"Oh, definitely a special kind of weird. A cool kind of weird."

~Ability Planet stops~

"Hah! Hold it right there, you two!" a strange voice demanded before Popple, the Beanish thief from the Beanbean Kingdom, leaped out of a nearby bush and blocked Wario and Anna's path.

~Boss Hall from Wario Land 4 starts to play~

"Hey bozo! This better be important, 'cause me and Anna here have better things to deal with," Wario complained, tapping his foot on the concrete pathway.

"Bozo?! Phah! I'm no bozo, see?! I'm Popple, the shadow thief, filcher of the world's treasures! I'm way above all the bozos!"

"Oh, a thief, huh? You're saying your going to try and mug us then, huh?!" Anna demanded to know.

"For once, no. I'm not doing any pilfering. This time, I'm doin' some mercenary work. Not my style, see, but I'm being paid real good to rough up Yellow here and take him back to a certain place where my employers are. Aside from Yellow, they want me to take some purple fella, a bird, an insane giant hand, a bluenette swordswoman, and a reddish fox to 'em."

"What?! You're working for Weegee, aren't ya?!" Wario growled.

"I don't know who this Weegee is, see. That said, I'm certain they ain't either of my employers. Apparently those two a Beanish like me, but they look a little dead to me. An- wait, what am I doing?! I shouldn't be telling you dopes this, see?! I should be taking ya down!" Popple said.

"Hmph. If it's a fight you want, it's a fight you're going to get! And you're going to get cut in half, just like my prices!" Anna taunted.

~Boss Hall stops as The Marvelous Duo DX from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions starts~

Wario and Anna charged forward, ready to pummel Popple up close, but the sneaky thief pulled out the Fruit Bazooka he stole from Crash Bandicoot just recently and started firing Wumpa Fruit from it. Wario and Anna dodged some of the fruits, the latter doing so with style and grace, but most only missed because of Popple's shitty accuracy. Once the duo got close, Popple frowned and put away the Fruit Bazooka before dashing past Anna, stealing her Illusory Yumi as he zoomed by.

"Simpleton! You should've used this bow to attack me, see?! Instead, you thought it was clever t-" Popple taunted before Anna rushed up to him and delivered a flurry of kicks and punches onto him, making him drop Anna's yumi before she kicked him up into the air.

"Wario, you think you can chuck me up that high?!" Anna asked the yellow weirdo.

"I'm not going to shove you in my mouth and vomit you out when I can just toss ya up there! Especially when I'm not into vore!" Wario replied.

"Uh, that's not what I me-" the merchant tried to say before Popple's crash back down into the park's concrete path interrupted her. The shadow thief quickly but painfully managed to get back up, holding his head from the pain, but Anna used the Illusory Yumi to fire an arrow at him that punctured through his shirt right by the left armpit and dragged him through the park at high speeds before the arrow would land in one of All-Star Park's outhouses.

~The Marvelous Duo DX stops~

And as soon as Popple got stuck to the outhouse, Crash Bandicoot arrived and started to attack the thief with Crash's iconic spins as revenge.

"Waa, nice job roughing him up. Serves that loser right!" Wario remarked.

"Thanks. C'mon now, let's get back to that nice walk we were going on," Anna said. The two walked along the concrete path again, but this time the did something too lewd: they HELD HANDS!1!


~Head Honcho Carpaccio from Wario: Master Of Disguise starts to play~

Waluigi and the Chill Virus were still wrestling, despite the long amount of time since the start of their feud. Their wrestling had been moved from Wario and Waluigi's room to the Boxing Ring stage, where a few of the beings that inhabited the Smash Grounds, including Falco, Crazy Hand, and Duck Hunt Dog, watched from the seats.

"Oh, and Waluigi just threw Chill Virus into the corner of the ring yet again!" the announcer of the idiotic match, Crasher Wake, hollered as a dazed Chill Virus sat in the corner closest to Falco, Crazy, and Duck Hunt. "It looks like Chill Virus is done for, but just how is Waluigi going to finish the virus off?!"

"Waa, I'll show you how I'll finish this punk!" Waluigi replied before stepping over to Chill Virus. The lanky wacko hoisted the virus and delivered a suplex of justice onto said virus, knocking him out completely.

~Head Honcho Carpaccio stops as Victory Fanfare from Final Fantasy 4 starts~

"And the virus is down! The winner is Waluigi!" Crasher Wake's voice boomed. "Join me next time, where we'll have a match between a Magikarp, THE EXECUTIONER FROM SOME PLACE I'M NOT ALLOWED TO MENTION BECAUSE IT'S A RELIGIOUS REFERENCE, an-"

~Victory Fanfare stops~

"Just can it already!" King Dedede demanded as a Bonsly that Ganondorf threw into the air crashed into Crasher Wake, sending the Sinnoh Gym Leader flying out of the building. Meanwhile, Waluigi had already crawled out of the ring and walked over to his three friends.

"Waa... you guys got the meds?" Waluigi asked them before sniffling a bit.

"Yep, got them right here!" Crazy exclaimed, handing over the meds.

"Thanks Crazy," Waluigi replied. He grabbed both medications, opened them up, and took a single pill of each before putting them away. "Wait... where's Wario? He always is the one to give me meds and everything when I get stuck with this stupid illnesses!"

"He was going to have some fun with a new friend he met at the pharmacy. I'm sure he'll be back soon," Duck Hunt Dog answered.

"Waa... yeah, he'll be back soon."

"In the meantime..." Falco started.

~The Japan/ Europe version of Palmtree Panic Good Future from Sonic CD starts to play~

"LET'S HAVE A BREAD PARTY! Just like the one we had back in 2008!" the space pilot finished, earning the joyous cheers of non-existent children. Bread then fell from the Boxing Ring's roof as Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy dance, Duck Hunt Dog just stood there with a blank look on his puppy-dog face, and as Ganondorf started to drown in bread.


~Palmtree Panic Good Future stops~

Weegee was in the only flower shop of Smashtopolis, Pick A Peck Of Colors Flower Shop, gazing upon all the flowers the shop had to offer and checking their prices.

"I think mother's favorites were violets... they should be the perfect flowers to place by her grave this ye-"

~Butter Building from Kirby: Nightmare In Dream Land starts to play~

But Weegee was interrupted by Wario mindlessly charging into the building, smashing right into Weegee, and sending the evil meme flying out through the roof. Once Weegee was out, Wario stopped his mindless charge and Anna came in. Wario and Anna stopped by a group of red and blue bouquets before the yellow star of the show tried to grab onto one of the bouquets as tightly as possible. However, the red bouquet he grabbed belonged to a Roserade wearing MLG shades because they were dank af hidden with the flowers who proceeded to jump out and attack Wario, forcing Anna to quickly join in. However, the Roserade easily and swiftly prevailed over the duo and kicked them out of the shop.


About twenty minutes after the madness at Pick A Peck Of Colors Flower Shop, the money-loving duo decided to go watch a movie at Dream Land Theater close to the center of Smashtopolis. The movie that they and a few others were watching was of all fucking things Fifty Shades Of Gray.

"My interests are very singular," Christian Grey's voice boomed throughout the room as the film played.

"Enlightened me then," Anastasia Steele replied. The two characters then went to a locked room before Grey unlocked it. The audience were on the edges of their seats, desperately wanting to know just was behind the locked door. In what felt like forever, Grey finally opened the door... revealing that the only thing in the room was Gray from Fire Emblem, flashing in fifty colors.

"WAA-HOO! BEAUTIFUL! TEN OUTTA TEN!" Wario shouted. Nearly everyone else in the audience joined in on the praise, aside from Sain, also from Fire Emblem.

"I can't believe I sold my soul for this," Sain complained.


After the three hour long film, Wario and Anna went on to ride through All-Star Park on bikes underneath the night sky. While Anna rode her bike like any sane person would, Wario instead balanced himself with only one foot on the seat with his eyes closed, yet the bicycle still had the pedals moving along. After a few seconds of riding, Wario opened his eyes just in time for him to see a huge ramp. Alas, Wario couldn't steer out of the way in time and thus was sent flying so high up that it seemed like he was flying right in front of the rising moon. Halfway through the flight, a Piranha Plant popped out of the basket on Wario's bike and started biting the chubby weirdo before they both crashed into the park's lake, where they both got attacked by Carvanha.


Wario and Anna were at Goldeneye, a shop specializing in gold and shaped like an N64, browsing the wide variety of golden objects. After a short time, Wario found a Gold Flower sitting on a shelf. He then tucked on Anna's red clothes to get her attention, pointed at the golden flower, and grabbed it before eating it, and thus transforming into Gold Wario. The instant after Wario's transformation, a shit ton of greedy, insane, rich people barged in and ran at Wario with spoons and forks in their hands, intending on eating Wario because apparently some of the rich nowadays think that adding gold to foods is fantastic even though it's just a waste of their own fucking money because it adds no nutritional value nor does it change the taste. Dumbasses make me look smart holy shit. Anyway, Wario and Anna had to fend the greedy maniacs off as well as they could before they could vore Wario.


~Butter Building stops as Stadium Rave (A) by Mark Governor starts~

The bread party was going even stronger back at the Smash Grounds. The gang were partying right outside of the Smasher's Palace, with Crazy Hand serving as the DJ, Falco was trying to shove an entire loaf of bread down his throat, King Dedede was standing right beside the space pilot, encouraging him to swallow it, Duck Hunt Dog was in a hot dog costume, and Waluigi just sat on the ground as the bread-themed madness continued. Waluigi even looked at his watch, finding out that it was already eight.

"So many hours yet Wario's still not back..." Waluigi groaned. With a sigh, he got onto his feet and dusted the dust off his clothes before screaming. "WAA! CUT THE MUSIC!"

"Cut the music? Waluigi, cutting the music from the Smash Bros. franchise sounds like an awful idea. Way worse than cutting most of the chara-"

"He just wants our music turned off, Crazy," DHD informed the hand...

~Stadium Rave (A) stops with a record scratch~

... before the dog took the record off the record table and tossed it to the side.

"It's been hours and Wario still hasn't come back! Just who did he become friends with anyways?!" Waluigi wondered.

"Uh..." Crazy muttered before Waluigi started talking again.

"Waa, forget it! It doesn't matter! All that matters is what this "friend" is up to! And his so-called "friend" must be up to something if they're keeping Wario from coming back, and I'm gonna see just what's up!" Waluigi then ran out of the gates of the Smash Grounds and into the wilderness, heading for Smashtopolis.

"Waluigi, wait!" Falco screamed after upchucking his loaf of bread. "We didn't even try to summon the Bread Lord yet!"

"After him!" Duck Hunt Dog commanded. He, Falco, Crazy, and Dedede chased after the long, tall, and not-so-handsome weirdo, ending the party entirely.


Wario and Anna were sitting in the middle of an opera house waiting for the show to begin, with Wario wearing a yellow top hat with his iconic W on the front and a monocle on his left eye.

"Sure was nice of you to buy a ticket for me, Wario. Even... if I could afford it myself," Anna said.

"Waa, 'tus nothing, my dear Anna," Wario replied in a fancier tone than usual. Despite the difference in tone, a certain someone sitting in front of them recognized Wario's voice, that said someone being Squidward, who turned around in his seat to face the two.

"What?! You?! What're you doing here?!" Squidward questioned.

"I'm here because I wanna see an opera show or whatever these things are called with the lo- er, with my new friend. What's it to ya?" Wario replied with his normal voice.

"Hmph. I'd expect those who'd go to operas to look and act far more sophisticated than some maniac who sneaks into people's houses to clean themselves in the bathtub... WHEN SOMEONE'S ALREADY IN THE TUB."

"You're one to talk about being sophisticated. You barely look sophisticated enough to be a part of some stupid octopus army filled with losers," Wario shot back. Squidward's face grew red with fury, but the octopus turned around and quickly calmed down, his color returning to the normal blue.

"Just ignore him, Squidward. Arguing will only make things worse," Squidward said to himself.


Waluigi was outside, sitting in the thicket right outside of the same opera house. As Waluigi got a closer look at the opera house thanks to his binoculars, Falco, Crazy, Duck Hunt Dog, Dedede, and even Sans arrived at Waluigi's spot in the forest.

"Waluigi, I know you want to find Wario, but why are you stopping in the middle of the woods?" Duck Hunt inquired.

"Because, from what most of my sources have claimed, Wario and that "friend" of his are inside that stupid opera house," Waluigi stated, handing Falco the binoculars. And once everyone got a good look at the opera house, they realized something very important.

... The opera house was made out of melting, oozing soap.

"Heh, nice," Sans remarked as Crazy began to laugh uncontrollably.

"Uh-huh. And your sources were...?" Duck Hunt Dog muttered.

"A bunch of weirdos and that guy," Waluigi answered, pointing towards Carl Wheezer, who was just in the woods for some reason.

"Hi," Carl greeted.

"What's the plan Waluigi? What're we gonna do?" Falco wondered.

"Waa, the plan... I'm gonna pose as one of the opera singers, act normal, and when I find Wario... I have no idea what to do at that point."

"Smart plan, Waluigi. Smart plan," Duck Hunt Dog sarcastically remarked.

"Ooh! Can I impersonate an opera singer too?!" Falco squealed. "I'd be incredible at it!"

"Sure! Now let's get in there and save Wario!" Waluigi, Falco, and Dedede then ran towards the opera house of soap as Carl left. Duck Hunt Dog let out a small sigh before running after them while Crazy kept spazzing and laughing and while Sans just stared at Crazy.


"When's the darn show gonna begin?!" Wario groaned, shuffling within his seat in a dire attempt to make the wait less boring.

"Yeah, what's taking so long?!" Squidward added. Others within the audience began to mutter loudly, mostly talking about the long wait, while in a room behind the curtains, Waluigi and Falco were busy trying to get into Fish Poker Pops costumes.

"Stupid costumes. These are so eleventh century," Waluigi remarked. Just then, Pompy, one of the higher-ups of the Snowmads, knocked on the door with his tail.

"Oi! You two! What's holding you two up in there?! The audience wants to see a performance, not sit around all night!" Pompy said. Right after he finished talking, the closet in the room bursted open as two unconscious Fish Poker Pops plopped out. Falco quickly rushed over to stuff the bodies back in the closet while Waluigi talked to Pompy, holding onto the door to make sure it stayed shut.

"Eh, just a, uh, a little longer! A few minutes at most!"

"It better be! We Snowmads need money to rebuild our empire, and if these people get to anxious from waiting, they're going to demand refunds! So hurry it up, lads!"

"Y-yeah! On it!" Waluigi said. Pompy sighed and shook his head before wandering away from the room.

"I need something to hold those customers off until those bu-" the sea lion muttered to himself just as Dedede showed up. Once Pompy saw Dedede, he mistook Dedede for one of the many penguins called Tucks within the Snowmad army. "You! The Tucks in the red outfit!"

"WOAH, I DIDN'T MEAN TO TRE-" Dedede hollered before Pompy silenced him.

"You didn't do anything wrong! I'm not sure why you're so huge compared to the other Tucks, or what's with the outfit, but that doesn't matter! All I need you to do is distract the audience with any kind of act until we can get on with the main performance. Someone like you can surely charm the audience for a couple minutes!"

"Oh, heh, yeah! I can charm people alright! Leave it all to me!" Dedede chuckled. The self-proclaimed king then ran onto the stage, the spotlights instantly shining over him as soon as he got on.

"Oh hey, they got Dedede for this. Nice!" Wario remarked. "Hey Dedede! Do the dance!"

"Yeah! Do the dance!" Toad, who was also in the audience, added. Soon enough, nearly everyone wanted Dedede to do a dance, and he knew just what dance they wanted. But he wasn't going to give them THAT dance. He was going to give them something else... something better. Bandana Dee came outta nowhere and had an electric guitar in his hands, ready for what Dedede had in mind.

~Punch Bowl from Donkey Kong Country: Tropical Freeze starts to play~

Bandana Dee started tearing it using the guitar as Dedede started doing that old dance from his old Final Smash back from Brawl. Numerous Waddle Dees, Waddle Doos, and even a Walky with a spiky mohawk came onto the stage and started breaking it down for the audience.

"Well, this sure as hell wasn't what I came here for," Weegee, who was hidden in one of the box seats, remarked. That's when Duck Hunt Dog rushed into the auditorium, staring at the events unfolding on the stage.

"YEAH BABY! NOW THIS IS ENTERTAINMENT!" Wario claimed as he and Anna leaped out of their seats and began to shake their heads to the music before most of the remaining audience joined in. Only Lucario, Squidward, and Weegee, the first two groaning and sighing from not getting what they wanted and Weegee just not caring.

"Oh-ho! This beats what I had planned by a long shot!" Pompy said, peeking through the curtains. "I don't even think I need those two Fish Poke-"

"Waa, we're ready to sing!" Waluigi said as he and Falco, both finally in their somehow convincing yet ragged outfits, rushed by before Pompy could even object to their plans. As soon as the dumbass duo waltzed on stage, Lucario saw through their disguises thanks to their all too familiar auras.

"Yeah, I think now's my cue to leave," the Pokémon groaned, getting up and swiftly leaving the opera house before Waluigi and Falco could contribute to the weirdness... by having Waluigi sing completely out of tune to the music.

"In pharmacy they sang to you, in random spot they lied! That loser voice which calls to you and speaks your name! And do you trust again? For now you find the Liar Of The Opera is there, inside your mind!" the lanky weirdo sung from the depths of his indescribable heart, trying his hardest to warn Wario of the non-existent danger while remaining as subtle as possible. However, all Waluigi's singing did was cause most of the audience members to scream while they fled from the opera house and especially the horrible singing.

"NO! MY AUDIENCE!" Pompy shrieked.

"THE SINGING IS RUINING EVERYTHING!" an Incineroar in the audience screeched before spewing out a stream of fire from his navel right at the ceiling. The flames caused the already oozing ceiling of soap to melt even faster, forcing a spotlight right above Wario to fall down towards him. While the buffoon kept on dancing, Anna stopped as soon as she saw the spotlight begin to fall.

"LOOK OUT, LOVE!" the merchant screamed before she tackled Wario into the isle between the seats, barely saving him and herself from the spotlight before it crashed into the floor, with Anna landing right on top of Wario after the tackle. As soon as Falco heard the crash, he turned and found Wario, Anna, and the spotlight, realizing what just happened.

"Uh, Waluigi, I think Wario's "fake friend" just saved him," Falco pointed out, bringing Waluigi's attention over to where Wario and Anna were.

"Er... did you just call me... love?" Wario asked. The two just laid there, completely quiet as others screamed and ran all over, and after a few seconds, Anna smiled as hearts popped up in her eyes. Right after, the type of hearts that are biological organs appeared in Wario's eyes. Yes, THOSE kind of hearts. Even the cartoon hearts just like the ones in Anna's eyes started popping into existence around the two lovebirds.

"... Oh. Wario just fell in love. Waa..." Waluigi groaned.

"SOMEBODY TURN THE MUSIC OFF!" Pompy demanded as he moved onto the stage.

"TURN THE MUSIC TO SOMETHING FROM OFF?! OK!" Crazy, who just sneaked into the opera house, yelled before fiddling with the music machine.

~Punch Bowl stops as Pepper Steak from OFF starts~

"NO!" AOSTH Dr. Robotnik cried out before chucking Pompy at Crazy and the music machine. Crazy dodged Pompy...

~Pepper Steak stops~

... but the music machine got trashed and smashed as soon as Pompy crashed into it. Meanwhile, Waluigi, Falco, and Duck Hunt Dog walked on over towards the lovestruck Wario and Anna.

"So, you were gone all day because ya decided to fall in love, eh Wario?" Waluigi said, taking off the top part of his Fish Poker Pops costume after the two lovebirds snapped back into reality.

"Woah! Sorry about that, Wally!" Wario apologized after Anna got off of him and while he got onto his two feet. "I even forgot you were sick! Really sorry, bro!"

"Meh... it's fine. Just don't stay out for that long again without me."

"Alrighty!" Wario said, giving his brother a hug.

"Well... I guess I better be going home. The family's probably just as confused. Wanna come with me, Wario?" Anna asked with a flirty tone in her voice.

"Sure thing, love! See you guys soon, for real this time!" Wario said before the two lovebirds ran out of the still melting opera house of soap.

"Yeah, I'm going home too. C'mon guys," Duck Hunt Dog added, motioning for everyone else to tag along. While Falco and Crazy went along with him for the trip back home, Waluigi just stayed there, thinking, because sometimes, that's what Waluigi does.

"Well. Wario's got a girlfriend now. Probably the best girlfriend possible for him, even," Waluigi muttered within his head. "Wario has a girlfriend, Mario has a crummy one, Luigi's girlfriend's just as crummy and even unimportant... but still. Even that stupid, ugly Luigi has a girlfriend. Even worse... they all have games. Yet... I have none..."

... And then Waluigi had to scream.


But just then, a glimmer of hope appeared behind the lanky plumber. Waluigi noticed its presence and turned, finding Charlotte of Nohr right behind him.


Charlotte grabbed his waist.

She pulled him close.

She lifted him up.


And then she...

~Live & Learn (Instrumental Version) from Sonic Adventure 2 starts~


Note: Waluigi didn't gain anything else from her.

Chapter Text

Episode 19: A Truly Super Smash

NOVEMBER 25th, 2016

~Stonecarving City from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

Wario and Waluigi were sitting in their room in the Smasher's Palace, scrolling through the TV channels to see if anything good was on.

"And don't forget: if you disagree with our politics in slightest, you are wrong and don't deserve to be a part of our political party!" an insane Koopa's voice boomed from the TV before Wario changed the channel again. Wario kept on changing it, passing by a news story covering the chaos that occurred at the opera house of soap last night, an ad for the edgy Purple Flurp, and a show about T-Posing.

"Bah, there's nothing good on," Wario complained before turning the TV off. "When are Falco and Crazy going to finish that bread ritual?"

~Stonecarving City stops~

"Attention, attention everyone," Master Hand's voice boomed from all the intercoms scattered across the Smasher's Palace. "I need everyone to stop what they're doing and listen carefully. Even if you're summoning some sort of bread deity, stop it and listen."

"Ah man!" Falco's voice quietly groaned throughout the palace.

"Er... now, listen closely, because we don't have much time," Master Hand continued. "I know that this is quite unexpected, but to start working on the next tournament, I have decided to end this tournament... today." As soon as that last sentence was spoken, everyone started muttering to each other about the whole ordeal. "But... before everyone packs their things, we have once last thing to do."

~Bug Catching Contest Begins from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

"That last thing will be a huge battle between all of you Smashers, all at once, on a secret stage I've been working on for since the start of this tournament. A stage more than big enough to hold all of you while you knock each other's brains out one last time... for this tournament, at least."

"Ooh, ya hear that Waluigi? Someone might knock my brain out!" Wario told his bro.

"Can't knock out what doesn't exist," Lucario muttered as he passed by Wario and Waluigi's room.

"Smashers, you have one hour to ready yourselves for this massive brawl. Afterwards, please meet me outside the Smasher's Palace. And as usual, any cut Smashers, regardless of whether or not you still live here," Master Hand stated, finishing his big announcement.

~Bug Catching Contest Begins stops~

"Say, this big final match gives us an excuse to have a training montage!" Waluigi mentioned, filling Wario with excitement.

"Ah yeah, a training montage! Waa-haa-haa!"

"Uh, hate to break it to you guys, but Wario and I spent most of our money yesterday while we were out and about," Anna informed the two as she appeared from out of nowhere. "We don't have the budget for a training montage."


Wario then let out the loudest yet saddest "waa" yet.


~Tournament Registration from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts to play~

One hour later, the massive stage was set. It was very similar to the stage for Smash Run, only bigger, with more environments, and thiccer because it had huge thighs sticking out from the bottom. Master Hand waited in the control room while the Smashers were already in the arena. Wario was on a floating part of the stage that was a near-perfect replica of Battlefield, with Jigglypuff, Marth, and Mega Man standing on the three floating platforms above.

"I hope all of you in Smashtopolis or back home are ready for this grand finale!" Master Hand said as Metal Mario and Metal Luigi were recording. "Now, let's get things started!"

~Tournament Registration stops~

"Thre-" Master Hand said before Painty the Pirate came out of nowhere and knocked the giant hand to the side.

"ARE YA READY KIDS?!" Painty screeched.

"AYE AYE CAPTAIN!" Crazy Hand squealed as he broke into the control room, flailing around at the sound of Painty's voice.



"OOOHHH-" Painty hollered before Master Hand struck him back down.

"Just start already!" Master Hand ordered.

~Multi Man Melee 2 from Super Smash Bros. Melee starts to play~

Wario kicked things off right away by using his Corkscrew attack to strike Jigglypuff from below, sending her flying up into the air. Mega Man then fired a small Charge Shot at Marth, knocking the Altean prince off the Battlefield replica and all the way down to a large, yet thin platform that the ever idiotic GengarFan3 was on, close to the thighs of the stage. Marth quickly got onto his feet...

~Multi Man Melee 2 stops~

... but then he spotted Snake happily clinging onto the closer thigh, even though Snake wasn't supposed to be there. And more importantly, he got a better look at the thighs themselves, which made him realize something far more important.

"Wait a minute! Those thighs glued to the stage... they look just like my thighs!" Marth pointed out. Snake's eyes opened from surprise while his smile faded for a few seconds, but he soon enough closed his eyes again as his smile came back, for he didn't care about whose thighs they were because he loved them too much. While Marth continued to give the thighs a confused look, GengarFan3, knowing that the thighs resemble Marth's amazing thighs, decided to leap towards the thighs to cling onto them as well. And he did succeed...

... but then he slipped right off and fell right into the mouth of a Sharpedo that swam in the hostile waters below. Seconds later, the Sharpedo pat out GengarFan3's skeleton, which landed back on the platform Marth was on. More Sharpedo, the fish from Balloon Fight, and even some of Dr. Eggman's Chopper Badnik's rose to the top of the water, waiting for more food. Marth then quickly used a spring that sat on the other edge of the platform, leaving Snake to hang on to his thigh, blissfully unaware of the creatures below, wanting to tear him apart.

~Multi Man Melee 2 starts again~

Just a little ways above the thighs was a brown cave with rubies and sapphires sticking out of the rocky wall. Duck Hunt Dog walked on through with the duck on his back until Ganondorf dropped down from above. Right before Ganondorf could strike Duck Hunt with a kick, a Bob-omb spawned right between the two, causing Ganondorf to hit that and cause it to explode instead. Both Duck Hunt Dog and Ganondorf were sent flying, with Ganondorf even breaking through a target like those in Break The Targets during his flight, while Duck Hunt Dog zoomed past Falco, who was trying to swallow a loaf of bread that spawned just seconds earlier whole. Instead of swallowing, Falco spat it out, forcing it to fly throughout the cave... even almost knocking into Yoshi, Mario, Sonic, and Ness at high speed during its long flight before it fell into the void.


~Multi Man Melee 2 stops again~

"Waa, let's see..." Waluigi, who was right outside the Smasher's Palace with Anna, muttered as he put in one last suitcase into the truck of the Wario Car. "We got all of the 3DS games, that locker Wario got online, a picture of Wario chucking stuff out of his drawer, that Sunrise Katana, the Dinner Blaster..."

"Yep, I think that's everything! We even have that Sandshrew buckled up and ready to take home! It's so cute!" Anna added, rubbing the little Pokémon on its head as it sat in the backseat.

"Great! And now we... just... wait until everyone's done beating each other. Greaaaaat," Waluigi complained. Anna was just about to suggest something, but the gates surrounding the Smash Grounds flew right by, causing the two to stare at the incoming herd of creatures, mostly Nintendo characters, incoming that only stopped once they were mere inches away from the two.

"Hey, purple guy and redhead! Where's the stage where that huge brawl is taking place?! We're going to barge in and join the smashing... by force!" King K. Rool roared, with the rest of the crowd hollering random gibberish afterwards.

"Oh ho! So you wanna join in?! Then just follow me, Waluigi!" the lanky moron ordered before running off. The entire crowd cheered as they and a now worried Anna followed him. Some of the other Assist Trophy characters like Ashley and Samurai Goroh, and even Crazy Hand followed as soon as the crowd came by.


And once almost all of them were out of sight, a Sandslash leaped into the driver's seat of the Wario Car. The Sandshrew crawled out of the back and moved to the floor by the driver's seat to control the brakes and such before the two Pocket Monsters drove after the crowd as fast as the Wario Car could take them.


~Wario Battle - Phase 1 from Super Mario Land: 6 Golden Coins starts to play~

On the top of a tall tower that stood atop most of the massive stage, Wario and Mario were in the midst of a brawl. Wario tried to chomp on his arch-rival, Mario jumped away and tossed a weak fireball at Wario, which flew right into the yellow maniac's mouth. Flames spewed out of Wario's mouth, causing him to run around and scream. Master Hand kept watching the fight between the two rivals, focusing on no other part of the huge brawl.

"Oh, and it looks like some of the flames even caught onto Mario! I hope you folks watching are enjoying this once in a lifetime melee!" Master Hand said.

"LOL no," a Buzzwole replied, suplexing the giant hand as numerous characters ran past Master Hand, Metal Mario, and Metal Luigi, all of them heading over to the teleportation pads, where they would be instantly taken to a random spot on the stage. Within seconds, nearly all of the eager characters had already been teleported, including the Buzzwole.

"Ugh... what just happened?" Master Hand asked, slowly getting up.

"A buncha fucking psychos just snuck onto the stage. Like, there were at least fifty of them," Metal Luigi answered.

"NO! Those fools! There's nowhere near enough room for that many people all at once!" the hand cried out.

Meanwhile, both Wario and Mario were running around the top of the tower as they both felt the pain of the fire. The flames within Wario's mouth soon died out, allowing the yellow moron to charge for Mario while the red plumber continued to mindlessly run around.

~Wario Battle - Phase 1 stops~

Right before Wario could start pummeling Mario, King Bob-omb dropped from the sky, causing the entire tower to shake, the vibrations from the quake paralyzing Wario and Mario. King Bob-omb then grabbed Wario and chucked him off the tower and all the way to the ground below. The fat plumber made a loud and powerful crash into the grassy ground, even getting his head stuck in the dirt.

"GRRRRRR! MMMM!" Wario growled before he managed to yank his big head of waa-ness out of the ground that is not so waa. "Master Hand never said anything about some big, ugly Bob-omb! I outta smack that stupid hand..."

"Not before I smack you, lower lifeform!" a certain familiar voice replied.

~It's A Trap! from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door starts to play~

Suddenly, the two-dimensional weirdo made of paper, Lord Crump, dropped down from above, landing a fair distance ahead of Wario.

"Buh huh huh! Yes, I, Lord Crump, am back! Back for revenge for what you did to me back in that video game!"

"You again?! Listen loser, Wario doesn't have the time to deal with you, so make like a tree and chop yourself down or somethin'!" Wario demanded.

"Buh! You don't have the time to fight me? No, if you don't have anything, it's that you don't have the brains nor the brawns to face me!" Lord Crump taunted.

"WHAT?! WHAT DID YOU SAY, PUNK?! I sure as heck do have the brain to beat you down, and I even have some bronze on me right now!"

"Oh really?!" Lord Crump asked as a white owl flew over the two.

~It's A Trap! stops as On The Edge... For Eternal Engine from Sonic Adventure 2 starts~

The X-Naut commander then pulled a turret about his size out of nowhere and placed it between him and Wario.

"Then let's see you handle this, simpleton!" Lord Crump yelled before activating the turret. The machine fired small cannonballs, a Yoshi egg, a sign that claimed that the Ice Climbers, Ridley, and Simon Belmot would be in the next Smash Bros. game, and a screeching Squidward. Wario barely managed to dodge the ammo, but before he could even get the chance to move ahead, the turret shot out more cannonballs, forcing the yellow maniac to dodge some more.

~On The Edge... For Eternal Engine stops as Stadium Rave (A) by Mark Governor starts~

... And eventually, Wario started dodging the cannonballs and the occasional nuclear pickle by dancing. Most of his dancing consisted of waving his thicc ass around but whatever. Soon enough, Wario spotted the Wario Car coming from behind Lord Crump, with the Sandslash and Sandshrew still controlling it.

"WAAAAA!" Wario shouted. He jumped up as high as he could...

~Stadium Rave (A) stops~

... just before Sandslash ran right into Lord Crump and his turret, smashing them both into the fake, blue sky above.

"NOOOO! NOT THIS AGAIN!" Lord Crump cried out right before he came into contact with the blast lines, resulting in the usual Smash Bros. KO just as Wario touched the ground again with his feet.

"First that stupid Bob-omb, then that Crump punk, and now some little brat that stole my car?! You gotta be kidding me!" Wario complained. And once all of those words came out of Wario's mouth, Falco crashed right next to him.

"Ugh... hey Wario," the space pilot greeted his friend whilst getting up.

"Falco! Have you come across any bozos who clearly aren't supposed to be here?!"

"Sure did! I only crashed like that because some giant mosquito threw me all the way over here!"

"Waa... something's up then. And we gotta get to the bottom of it!"

"The tier list is up on Smashboards. Is that what we're trying to get to the bottom of?" Suddenly, a huge tank slammed down behind Falco. Just as they two glanced at it, the tank lowered its tank gun right at them, two cartoon-ish, robotic arms wielding pistols came out of the tank's sides, and another robotic arm came out of the front, holding a piece of paper saying "Please give me your credit card".

And they both screamed. Wario pulled out his Wario Bike as fast as he could and leaped on.

"Grab onto my hand!" Wario demanded. Falco did just that before Wario floored it, blazing away from the tank as Falco barely held on. Just as the two left, the entrance to the tank opened up...

~Ohayou Sayori! from Doki Doki Literature Club starts to play~

... and Sayori poked her out of it.

"I still don't know what this thing's supposed to do," Sayori stated.

~Ohayou Sayori! stops as Baby Park (Final Lap) from Mario Kart 8 starts~

Wario and Falco kept speeding away from the tank, leaving behind a cloud of smoke from the bike in their wake. On their high speed travel, they zipped underneath a group of Koffing, a laptop that had a gif of Snake shaking his ass on it, and Vile falling from the sky. Soon enough, they found themselves driving towards Dark Pit, who was yelling at Bowser Jr. to get down from a large tree.

"Stop chucking those explosive robots at me and get the fuck down from there, you fucking cheater!" Dark Pit edgily demanded.

"No! I'm playing fair!" Bowser Jr. shot back.

"Oh, fuck you!" Dark Pit yelled. Dark Pit was going to use his Silver Bow and dark arrows to shot at Bowser Jr., but Wario ran into him before he could. Dork Pot couldn't even let out a scream before he reached the eastern blast line, becoming the first Smasher to get KO'd during the hellish match.

"Haha! Thanks Wario!" Bowser Jr. cackled before he drove the other way in his Junior Clown Car while Wario and Falco stayed on their path.

~Baby Park (Final Lap) stops~

But just beneath them was another cave, this one red with magma sluggishly flowing through it. In the steaming cavern was the legend himself, BUBSY FUCKING BOBCAT, holding a Home-Run Bat, standing right next to a Blast Box with a cocky look on his face.

"What could possibly go wrong?" Bubsy remarked. The bobcat then started winding up the bat before swinging it right at the Blast Box, resulting in an explosion that burnt Bubsy to a crisp and sent him flying all the way out of the magma cavern and to the eastern blast line. NONONONO WHY THE GLORIOUS BUBSY WHY?! Anyways, Waluigi and Anna made their way to where Bubsy was and stopped to get a look around.

"Waluigi, we REALLY shouldn't have joined in," Anna said.

"Waa? C'mon. We get to help make sure Wario wins this thing! We finally get a proper taste of all this Smash Bros. stuff! And most of all, you and I, WALUIGI, will finally have a moment of glory when we and Wario win!" Waluigi stated, placing his hand on his chest.

"Yeah, and now we're just going to be stuck in the middle of so much chao-"

"HMM!" an all-too familiar voice grunted. Waluigi turned around and found his old arch-rival, Luigi standing there... menacingly. With a twitching eye, a scowl bigger than Ridley, and a coffee stain shaped like Loss on his hat. Waluigi gave him a glare back... and then a Machamp arrived at Luigi's side.

"Oh, so you think you can cheat by bringing in a partner, eh?! Well, I have a partner too, ya know!" Waluigi informed his rival. "C'mon Anna, let's kick their stupid butts!"

"Ugh... I guess I have no choice here," Anna remarked.

~Battle! Team Aqua/ Team Magma from Pokémon: Omega Ruby/ Alpha Sapphire starts to play~

Luigi and Waluigi then lunged for each other, quickly resulting in a big ball of violence that moved westward. While those two duked it out, Machamp charged for Anna, but the merchant fought back by firing a flurry of arrows. Machamp stopped to shield himself from with arrows with his four arms, allowing Anna the small chance to engage in some close quarters combat, a chance she used to kick the Machamp right beneath the belt. The pain from that forced Machamp to fly straight upwards as he screamed, even piercing through the rock and flying high above the exterior of the stage.

~Battle! Team Aqua/ Team Magma stops~

Wario even watched the Machamp shoot out of the cavern from a long ways away.

"Oooh," Wario grunted while scratching his butt. Right behind him, Falco was chatting with Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog and his duck, and Kellam, having just reunited with them.

"Well, at least we're almost all together! All we need now is Waluigi and Anna and the main gang will be ready to fight together!" Crazy squealed while spazzing a bit.

"How come Anna's already a part of the main gang?" Duck Hunt asked.

"Hoo," a voice uttered. Everyone turned around to the east and found the same Decidueye that came for the Smash Bros. auditions, ready to sling arrows at them. Falco, thinking fast, pulled out the loaf of bread he tried to swallow whole earlier and chucked it at the Pokémon... but it missed and flew right over Decidueye's head.

"NO! NOT THE BREAD!" Falco cried out, running for the loaf. As Falco ran for the bread, Decidueye flailed his entire body around and made that "Blooloolooloo" noise that SpongeBob made that one time he was trying to catch the blue Jellyfish once known as No Name before also chasing after the loaf, wanting the bread for himself. Both of the birds ran off the stage to just to get the loaf.

"FALCO, NO!" Crazy hollered before he also ran off the edge. And thus, it only took a small amount of time for Falco, Crazy, Decidueye, and the loaf of bread to reach the blast line deep in the waters below the stage and get KO'd. Wario and Duck Hunt Dog just stood there, staring at the edge of the stage while a cricket made its cricket-y noises.

"Ya mind shutting up?" Wario rudely asked the cricket. The cricket then stopped and hopped westward.

"Well, I wasn't expecting things to go so bad so fast," Duck Hunt Dog remarked.

"Yeah, no kidding! Now it's just the two of us now!" Wario replied.

"Um, there's actually three of us. I'm still here you kn-" Kellam said before Wario interrupted him.

"No, when I said three of us, I was talking about what Crazy was going on about. The main gang. The main gang doesn't include you or the duck."

... And Kellam's response was his eyes opening wide, somehow causing a glass-shatter sound. But his eyes didn't stay open for long.

~Kamek's Theme from Super Mario World 2: Yoshi's Island starts to play~

"Nyah-ha-ha! Greetings, Wario and dog with duck!" Kamek, Bowser's advisor, cackled as he flew towards the trio on his broom.

"Bah, what do you want, old hag? If it's a fight, then you're gonna get one! One you'll lose!" Wario growled.

"Ha! You two don't stand a chance against me! I have powerful magic on my side!" the Magikoopa informed.

"Really? Then why don't ya try it, bozo?!"

"Wario, don't taunt someone li-"

"Shut it, pooch! If the moron wants some magic, he's going to get some!" Kamek yelled.

~Kamek's Theme stops~

Kamek swung his wand around, readying up a magic spell, before finally unleashing it, spawning a portal. After a few seconds, Weegee, Malleo, and Sans fell out of the portal, barely landing on their feet.

"FUCK! Random summoning again! Right in the middle of me planning my scheme too!" Weegee cursed.

"Oh... that wasn't the spell I was trying to do..." Kamek quietly muttered, just barely loud enough for Weegee to hear.

"Oh, so YOU'RE the one behind this, are ya?!"

"AAAKK! N-no, it wa-" Kamek stuttered before Weegee jumped up and rammed right into the Magikoopa head-first, knocking Kamek off his broom and knocking the wand out of Kamek's grasp while leaking magic as it flew away to the west.

~Menu (Melee) Ver. 2 from Super Smash Bros. for 3DS/ Wii U starts to play~

The wand flew right over the nearby Paper Mario, the magic leaking out of it covering the Mario made out of paper. Nearly instantly, at least fifty copies of Paper Mario suddenly appeared, shocking even the original Paper Mario. But the magic didn't stop there, for the wand flew over E-123 Omega, Natsuki, and Ridley as well. The magic caused Omega to go into out of control and run all over the place and turned Natsuki into her powerful and fabled Buffsuki form.

~Menu (Melee) Ver. 2 stops~

... And Ridley just got a rainbow afro wig on his head.

"YADADADA, CIRCUS AFRO!" Ridley sang in Marty the zebra's voice while dancing like an idiot.

But Wario didn't care about either Weegee beating up Kamek nor the magic that was happening before his eyes. Instead, he just turned around, finding an Assist Trophy that just spawned right behind him.

"Aw yeah, now we're talking!" Wario stated with glee. He snatched the Assist Trophy up before anyone else had the chance and it opened up... summoning Waluigi of all the potential candidates.

"Wario!" Waluigi shouted.

"Waluigi!" Wario responded.



"PINGAS!" AOSTH Dr. Robotnik added, butting in after coming out of nowhere, preventing Wario and Waluigi's screams to go on repeat for lord knows how long.

... But then Kamek's wand flew over Morshu, and of course, the leaking magic altered him too. In what was among one of the worst possible ways.

"Bombs? You want it?" Morshu rhetorically asked, whipping out a bomb. "No? Too fucking bad." The shopkeep from Koridai then chucked the explosive high up into the air before tossing even more bombs at a ridiculously high speed.

~Menu (Melee) Ver. 2 starts again~

"BOMB INCOMING!" Duck Hunt Dog warned, noticing one of the bombs heading straight for them. Everyone aside from a weak Kamek managed to stand aside before the bomb exploded upon impact with the Magikoopa. Kamek instantly flew upwards and got KO'd by the upper blast line, along with many others, including most of the remaining Smashers, the entire Paper Mario army, Vaike, and the Buzzwole that attacked both Master Hand and Falco.

"Yeah, not dealing with bombs. I'm outta here," Weegee said before jumping off the eastern edge of the stage.

"Same here. See ya later, pals!" Malleo added, following his younger brother.

"E3- er, meant me three," Sans said as he also leaped off the edge.

"MORE BOMBS! RUN!" Wario demanded as even more bombs filled the sky. Everyone bolted ahead to the western side as fast as they could, but Kellam couldn't move fast enough, and thus got caught in one of the explosions that would send him to the eastern blast line.

"KELLAM! NO!" Duck Hunt Dog yelled as soon as he looked back, finding Kellam getting KO'd. He stopped and turned around, but that only caused the dog and his duck to meet the same fate. Wario and Waluigi just kept running, barely dodging the bomb hell and the few others who panicked like mad.

"GAH! If only I didn't lose my bike when that stupid Lucario came outta nowhere before!" Wario complained.

"Uh, Wario, the bike's right ahead of us," Waluigi pointed out. The bike was just laying there, somehow unharmed by the explosions.

"Good for us!" Wario swiftly stood the bike back up and got on before grabbing Waluigi's hand. Wario then floored it before another bomb would strike right where they were standing. As the Wario Bros. drove all the way to Morshu, an Ariados landed on Waluigi's head.


"Forget the spider and keep a look out of bombs!" Wario ordered. Waluigi groaned but complied. Before long, the trio managed to mow down the crazed Morshu, ending the bomb mayhem and sending him to the western blast line. And not long before that, they came to a stop right at the western edge of the stage.

"There! Now we ca-" Waluigi tried to say before Natsuki snuck up behind them and pushed the bike and all of them off. "WAAAAAAA! WHAT'S HAPPENING?!"

"THAT THING, THAT'S WHAT!" Wario said, pointing at Natsuki, who just leaped off to pulverize the three. The Ariados, having felt grateful that the brothers helped it through the explosions, leaped off Waluigi's hat and latched right onto Natsuki's face.

"SPIDER! I HATE SPIDERS!" Natsuki screeched, trying to take Ariados off of her. Wario and Waluigi managed to land on the same platform Marth landed on earlier, but Ariados and Natsuki instead landed in the water and eventually met with the bottom blast line without meeting any of the rabid creatures in the H20.

~Menu (Melee) Ver. 2 stops again~

"Ugh... can we have a moment of peace now?" Wario wondered. And that answer would be meet with a no, for another of Eggman's Choppers leaped out of the water and nearly bit Waluigi's butt.

"NO! NO PEACE!" Waluigi said. The two looked over to the pair of thighs and found Snake still clinging onto the same one, still blissfully unaware of anything else, but now with Lucario right above him.

"Hey Waluigi... you got a Bomb-omb on ya somewhere?" Wario quietly asked.

"Yep," Waluigi answered with a Bob-omb in one hand and his tennis racket in the other.

"Then you know what to do," Wario whispered before getting loud once more. "IT'S PAYBACK TIME, LUCARIO!"

"What?" Lucario muttered right as Waluigi smacked the Bob-omb with his racket right at Lucario and Snake. The Bob-omb blew up on the two before either of them could react, causing them to quickly drop into the waters below. The Wario Bros. didn't even have to cling onto the closest thigh before Lucario and Snake met their fate at the blast line.

... Or even afterwards, because as soon as Lucario and Snake got KO'd, that one word rang throughout the stage...


... and the two brothers were almost instantly teleported back to the control room of the special stage, where everyone, ranging from all the Smashers, to everyone who broke in, to Master Hand, awaited them.

~Victory! Champion from Pokémon: Omega Ruby/ Alpha Sapphire starts to play~

"Wait... WE WON! WE BOTH WON!" Wario cheered.


"You didn't win," Master Hand said.

~Victory! Champion stops with a record scratch~

"Wait... what?" was all Wario could asked.

"You. Did not. Win. The match," Master Hand bluntly answered.

"WHAT?! WE DIDN'T WIN?!" Wario yelled, the two brothers clenching their fists.

"Of course not! Waluigi broke into the match just to help you beyond the small amount of time giving as an Assist Trophy character! That's cheating! Every single last one of you Smashers had at least one friend join the fight just to let you win even! You all cheated!"

"If everyone cheated, then why can't we still win then?!" Waluigi demanded to know.

"Well... while any sort of interference like the way every non-Smasher did is illegal, JUST joining the fight and not aiding someone else for victory IS a bit less illegal... and Wario, while you may have been the last Smasher left with Waluigi alongside you, there were two who worked together as a team on their own."

"Then spill the beans! Who won?!" Wario roared. Master Hand just snapped his fingers to let the mysterious announcer dish out the answer.

"This game's winner is..."

And then a green spotlight shone on the winners...

"Sandslash And Sandshrew In The Wario Car!"


Wario started screeching like a rabid animal while Waluigi began chomping on his own tennis racket out of sheer rage.


The sun was setting. Most of those that broke into the huge brawl had already gone home, and even a good amount of the Smashers had left as well. In fact, Sonic and Tails were just running away from the Smash Grounds as Wario, Waluigi, and company were saying their farewells.

"C'mon, I wanna stay at Wario and Waluigi's! And so does Zigzagoon!" Crazy said to Master Hand as Zigzagoon ran around the two hands.

"And I might need your help with setting up the next tournament!" Master Hand argued.

"Pleeeeease? Just for a week at least?"

"... Fine, ONE week after tomorrow," Master Hand said, followed by Crazy squealing and spazzing for joy. "But once that week is up, you need to come back ASAP."

"Will do! Hey Wario, Waluigi, I get to be staying with guys for a week!"

"Aw yeah! Waa-nderful!" Wario replied.

~Cianwood City from Pokémon: Heart Gold/ Soul Silver starts to play~

"Yeah, but... some of us are still going to be splitting ways for a while, ya know?" Falco reminded everyone.

"Aw... that's right... can we have one last group hug before we all go?" Crazy asked.

"Yeah! Group hug!" the space pilot happily replied. He, Wario, Waluigi, Duck Hunt Dog, and Anna gathered around Crazy and gave him a big hug while kinda hugging each other.

"I may not be the most memorable one of us but... I hope you guys won't forget me. Because I know I won't forget you guys... even if you are a little too insane sometimes," Duck Hunt Dog muttered right before the group hug ended.

"You're memorable alright, Duck Hunt Dog. You're memorable," Falco replied.

"Well, Waluigi, Anna, Crazy, Zigzagoon. I think it's time for us to get going," Wario mentioned, leaping into the driver's seat of the Wario Car.

"Yeah... goodbye everyone! Can't wait to see you all again!" Anna added as she got into one of the backseats.

"Yeah! And hopefully next time I'm actually in the tournament!" Waluigi said. He got into the other front seat while Zigzagoon crawled in with Anna.

"Bye Falco! Bye Duck Hunt!" Crazy yelled. Crazy then curled up into a fist and bolted right on out the gates and into the woods, with Wario driving the car after him.

"Waa... this feels like the end of more than just that tournament. Is it the end?" Waluigi asked.

~Cianwood City stops~

But one of the bushes the gang had past in the woods rustled as soon as they left...

~Mine Cart Madness from Donkey Kong Country starts to play~

... and out of the bush rose Sanic Hegehog. The memehog stared at the traveling gang, with a menacing glare in his eyes, a frown on his face, and a cell phone in his hands.

~Mine Cart Madness stops~

"Nope!" the Engineer from Team Fortress 2 exclaimed, trying to answer Waluigi's question a little too late as he rose out of the same bush, scaring Sanic.

Chapter Text

Episode 20: Sanic Hegehog 2

NOVEMBER 26th, 2016

It was a calm day at Wario's Gold Mine. Some Shy Guys ran around in the caverns, taking as much of the gold as they could, other Shy Guys were hanging around outside, sipping on Capri-Sun, and one other Shy Guy on one of the canyon's highest cliffs was busy inscribing "There will be a Minecraft stage in the next Super Smash Bros." on a big, dead tree that was next to Wario and Waluigi's house. Once the Shy Guy got done inscribing what he wanted written down, he turned around... finding Crazy Hand and the Wario Car coming straight for him. He let out a squeal before he ran from the tree as fast as his feet could take him. Crazy crashed right into the cliff looming over the house while the Wario Car slammed right into the dead tree, landing sideways... yet it went right back onto its wheels instantaneously, as if by magic.

"Waa! Now that was one heck of a ride!" Wario said as he, Waluigi, Anna, and Zigzagoon climbed out of the car.

"Yeah! Especially the part where those Goombas challenged us to card games on motorcycles!" Waluigi added while Zigzagoon rushed over to Crazy.

"Oof, that part was rea- HEY! SOME OF THOSE STUPID SHY GUYS ARE STEALING SOME OF OUR GOLD!" Wario pointed out, glaring down below at some Shy Guy thieves running off with some gold bricks.

"What about me?!" Crazy asked, squirming within the rocky cliff as Zigzagoon tried to yank the giant hand out.

"We'll get to ya in a minute! Right now me and Waluigi got some shy punks to beat down!" the yellow plumber answered. Waluigi pulled out his trusty tennis racket of death before the two brothers jumped down at the Shy Guys.

"Well, I gotta go to the restroom first, so I can't help now either. See ya in a minute or so, Crazy!" Anna said before dashing into the house.

"Ah man... at least you're helping me, Zigzagoon," the giant hand muttered. While Zigzagoon kept on tugging the back end of Crazy, the same Sandslash and Sanshrew that won the tournament yesterday popped out of the ground. The two quietly muttered stuff to each other before they ran off to the lands behind Wario and Waluigi's house... and then Sans came out of the hole the two Pocket Monsters left behind, with the Ariados that attack the buff Natsuki during the hellish tournament sitting on the skeleton's head. Ariados leaped off and Sans walked over to where Sandshrew and Sandslash went. Ariados was just about to head into Wario's house, but a strange sound caused her to turn to look at the highest cliff of the canyon, discovering that the sound was coming from a landing biplane...

~Who's The Boss? from Sonic Mania starts to play~

... a biplane driven by Sanic and his fellow crudely-drawn weirdo, Teals, who looked just like Miles "Tails" Prower. The two leaped out of the plane and glanced down at the wiggling Crazy, with Sanic smiling the most evilly evil smile that ever eviled... or at least a smile that attempted to be the most evilly evil smile that ever smiled.

"Sweet! That stupid hand from when I tried to kidnap that faker of mine is stuck! All we need to do is yank that hand out and then we can drag him off with some rope! Then we just need to force him to tell us where that faker is!" Sanic cackled.

"Why didn't you just pay more attention at that Smash Grounds place?" Teals inquired.

"I, uh, wha... er, shut up Teals!" Sanic stuttered, lightly slapping the meme fox's face. "Now help me tie some of that rope we stole from that fat man to the Tornadon't!" Sanic went back to the biplane and rummaged around in the backseat to get the rope while Teals glared at his so-called friend.

"Ugh... today might be a good day to bring out the mask..." Teals muttered within his mind.


~Who's The Boss? stops as the mini-boss theme from The Legend Of Zelda: The Wind Waker HD starts~

A fight between the Wario Bros. and the Shy Guy thieves was happening down at the starting line of the gold mine's race course. Wario was dealing with most of the Shy Guys while Waluigi faced off against a Shy Guy wearing a pirate hat with a cutlass. Waluigi's tennis racket kept clashing with the "Pirate Guy's" cutlass, neither of the two letting the other lay a single bit of pain. It wasn't until Waluigi spun around that any advantage was gained, for the spinning maniac and his racket sliced the cutlass in half.

~The mini-boss theme stops~

"Ack! Fine, keep your gold, we were just gonna eat it anyways!" Pirate Guy begged. "Everyone, run for it!" All of the Shy Guys then started climbing up the closest rockface, screeching like the weirdos they were and still are.

"Finally those losers gave up," Waluigi commented.

"Yeah! Now let's go get Crazy unstuck, and then we can start our vacation off with a bang! A bang filled with money, memes, food, giant snapping turtles, DeviantArt, lightsab-"

"Wario, Waluigi, HELP!" Crazy's voice echoed throughout the canyon.

~Who's The Boss starts again~

The brothers looked up, finding Sanic piloting the Tornadon't high above most of the canyon, dragging behind a tied up Crazy and Zgizagoon, with Anna clinging onto Crazy's finger while trying to cut the rope that bounded the hand and his Pokémon friend.

"That Sanic freak's got me and Zigzagoon all tied up! Help!" the hand continued to cry out. Sanic then flew the Tornadon't right into one of the newer entrances to the mine, escaping Wario and Waluigi's sight.

~Who's The Boss stops again~

"What?! That stupid Sonic impostor that tried to kidnap the real Sonic?! Why's that loser messing with us and not dumb ol' Sonic?!" Waluigi demanded to know.

"Bah, who cares?! Let's just go beat that Sanic up already!" The dimwit duo leaped down onto the track that was connected to the huge cave before running right in.

~Wario's Gold Mine from Mario Kart 8 starts to play~

The two kept running until the came to a sudden drop. Wario glanced down, finding a curve at the bottom of the straight drop. The chubby weirdo then jumped up, curled into a ball, and rolled down the drop, picking up speed as he rolled along.

"Alright people, listen up," a Shy Guy in blue clothes said to a group of other Shy Guys. "Just got a word from the boss, says Wario and Waluigi chased him outta this joint and that we oughtta evacuate too. But to heck with his lousy words, we're gonna keep searchin' for gold for ourselves! We'll even blow this whole canyon to bits if we have to! Now who's wi-"

... And then Wario rolled right into the Shy Guy group, the collision making the same sound of a bowling ball slamming into bowling pins and forcing the Shy Guys to fly away from each other. The blue Shy Guy and one of his associates landed not to far away from where they were standing, but the blue Shy Guy landed the back of his head on a sticky bowling pin.

"Eugh... what just happened?" the blue Shy Guy asked his ally as they got off the rocks.

"I dunno, but you got a bowling pin stuck to your head," the other Shy Guy informed. "Heh, makes you a legit pinhead I guess, hehe."

"PINHEAD!" Sandy Cheeks roared. The squirrel came outta nowhere with SpongeBob clinging onto her back and charged for the Shy Guys, who could only scream and run the other way.

"Waa-haa, smooth thinking and smooth moves, Wario," Waluigi cackled. "Now it's Waluigi's turn!" Waluigi did what Wario did, but instead of rolling right ahead, the lanky nutjob couldn't control his roll and rolled right into a "gutter", eventually entering a Warp Pipe. Waluigi screamed as he came out on the other end, which sent him back out of the cavern and up into the air.

"Fellas, I think it's time we found a new job. Wario's not gonna want us around after trying to steal all that gold," Pirate Guy remarked as his gang were walking away from the same pipe that Waluigi came from.

"Like what? Are we gonna be paleontologists?" a green Shy Guy questioned.

"Apologists? Like that one madman who got all whiny when we said we didn't like every character in Smash Bros.?" a yellow Shy Guy replied just as another of the Shy Guys turned and saw Waluigi incoming.

"Paleontologists are gonna be finding our carcasses if we don't start running! A METEOR'S HEADED RIGHT FOR US!" the Shy Guy shouted. They all then started screaming again and ran as fast as they could without even turning to look at the ball of waa headed straight for them. They barely managed to escape Waluigi's unintentional wrath as he crash through the earth, breaking back into the mine before slamming right in front of Wario.

"Waaaaa!" Wario cried out before he accidentally fell backwards into a pit that awaited him.

~Wario's Gold Mine stops~

"WARIO! YOU OK?!" Waluigi called out, instantly getting up and glancing down the pit.

"Barely! I'm holding onto the wall, and there's nothing but spikes down here! Well, spikes and skeletons of a fox and a hedgehog. Oh, and I think that one of my voodoo dolls of that stupid Captain Syrup is down here. And is that some of Snake's hentai or whatever he calls it? What's that weird stuff doin' here?!"

"OK, I was gonna go down there and see if I could help, but that hentai is making me want t-" Waluigi started before Anna fell down from above and knocked Waluigi down into the pit as well. Luckily, Waluigi managed to cling onto the higher end of the pit's rocky walls.

"Sorry Waluigi! A giant squirrel came outta nowhere and knocked me down!" the merchant said.

"Waa, great. Now we're both stuck down here!" Wario complained.

"Wait, Wario. You're right beneath me, right?" Waluigi asked.

"Yeah, why?"

"Grab onto my feet. Waluigi has a plan to get us out of here."

"OK, whatever ya say," Wario muttered. He grabbed onto Waluigi's feet as tight as he could with his big hands, ready for what Waluigi had in mind. "Alright, what's the point of this?"

"This!" Waluigi responded. He let go of the rocky wall and instantly used his weird ass air swim to bring him and Wario out of the pit and back to where Anna was safely.

"Air swimming, huh?" Sans remarked from the other side of the pit. "Yeah... being able to lift someone as they cling onto your feet... and then being able to swim through the air like that. Quite the impressive "feat" really."

... And then nothing but silence as Wario, Waluigi, and Anna gave Sans deadpan glares for his awful pun.

"... Oh. Just deadpan glares? Did that pun bother you guys THAT much? Is even just making one pun to "pan-der" to my own interests too much now?"

... And then a bunch of rocks came down from above and landed right in front of Sans, nearly crushing him even. Because even the rocks were sick of Sans's awful yet glorious puns.

"... I'm really having a "rocky" day today. Might as well make like a "rock-et" and blast off... or something." And thus Sans finally walked away, letting Wario, Waluigi, Anna, and the rocks to live in peace.

"... Well, now that he's go-" Wario started before Waluigi intervened.

"You guys think there's anything beneath those spikes in the pit?" All three of them looked down, wondering just what could've been beneath the spike pit.


~Dragon's Den from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

... In fact, there was something beneath the spikes. Just a feet feet below was a giant, golden room where all kinds of jewels laid about. A giant, golden Waluigi head loomed over most of the room, with two hands holding giant emeralds sticking out beside it. The emeralds contained so much power that one could feel it just by standing close to them. What did the power feel like? It felt like getting a titjob idk. Anyways, in the center of the room was a large Virtual Boy, and a group of beings that danced around the system while chanting "All hail the Virtual Boy!". One of them just so happened to be Reggie Fils-Aime, who stepped out of the circle and ceased his chanting.

"OK, that's all the time I've got. I've gotta get back to playing Animal Crossing: New Leaf on my Nintendo 3DS," Reggie said. He wandered over to the giant Waluigi head, which opened its big mouth, allowing him to enter, before it shut itself again.


~Dragon's Den stops~

The trio kept staring down the pit until they all came to the same, one-worded answer.

"Nah," they all said at once.

"Anyways, as I was sayin', now that the skeleton's gone, we gotta get movin' again and find that Sanic punk!" Wario said.

"Can't be up above anymore, there isn't much in the higher ends of this mine," Anna informed the brothers.

"And he can't be behind us, so that means..." Waluigi added before the trio turned around, finding that only a Warp Pipe large enough to fit a biplane in was what remained unexplored. "He went in there! Wherever that pipe goes!"

"Then touch me! Er, grab onto me!" Wario commanded. Waluigi and Anna latched onto one of Wario's arms before the yellow maniac charged forward using his Shoulder Bash attack with the other arm into the big Warp Pipe.


A new construction site sat outside the edge of Smashtopolis. In one small building that was just constructed were Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki. While Yuri and Natsuki argued about whether or not Earth was flat, Sayori stared out of a small hole in the wooden wall, looking at Monika, who was taking notes while watching Guts Man and Cut Man tussle over politics.

"Hmm... Monika's been spending more time looking at random things rather than having fun with us ever since we got stuck in this world..." Sayori thought. "Does... does she know something we don't?"

"And that's w... um, Natsuki? Where's the door hole?" Yuri asked after realizing that they were trapped in the tiny building.

"Ugh, it goes right there, see? I drew it with a magic marker and everything. Ugh," Natsuki groaned, crossing her arms.

"You were supposed to cut it out with the power sa-"

~Wario Shipyard from Mario Kart 7 starts to play~

"-aaAAAAAAAAAH!" Yuri screeched once Wario broke down the part where the door was supposed to be as Waluigi and Anna still clung onto him. Sayori nigh instantly joined in on the screeching while Natsuki got some boxing gloves with two spikes on each of them on her hands so she could pummel Wario. The yellow madman however just plowed through the other side of the building, forcing Natsuki to chase him around the rest of the construction site.

"Careful with those iron beams up there!" Weegee, the one behind the construction, ordered some Machop who were up high on a nearly finished building. "The last thing I need is more of those things getting dented up so that Boomerang Bro. maniac starts using them as boomerangs again!"

"Turns out whoever was flying that plane that come outta that one Warp Pipe thing by the edge of the site didn't do too much damage. Just a few dents on that one Spinny Mountain or whatever that stage is because Crazy Hand was squirming like a freak as usual," Dr. Wily told Weegee. "We still probably should clog that pipe up so no one else runs rampant around here."

"Don't worry about it, I'm sure everything's going to be jus-" Weegee said before Wario trampled over him. "Oh what the fuck!"

"Take a look behind you," Wily said, pointing behind him. Weegee got on his feet again just in time for him to see Wario break through and demolish a replica of Shrek's house as Natsuki still chased after the trio.

"DAMN IT! Ugh... that's it. We need to amp up production, because revenge needs to come a hell of a lot sooner!" the evil meme yelled, cracking his knuckles. Meanwhile, Wario continued his charge until the trio entered another Warp Pipe sticking out of the side of a small hill before Natsuki entered it as well.


~Wario Shipyard stops as Oil Ocean Zone from Sonic The Hedgehog 2 starts~

And soon enough, Wario, Waluigi, and Anna fell out of the other end of the Warp Pipe, finding themselves in Oil Ocean Zone.

"Bah! What's this dump?!" Wario wondered.

"Yeah, and why does it smell worse than Lucario's fur?!" Waluigi added.

"Wario, Waluigi? And random redhead who tricked me into handing over my credit card information by pretending to be adorably shy online?!" Sonic exclaimed as he came up to the trio. "What're you guys doing here?! This isn't your world!"

"It ain't your's either, buster!" Waluigi stated.

"Hey, this is my home world! I can even prove it to you!" Sonic said, pulling out a small radio before he turned it on.

~Oil Ocean Zone stops as His World from Sonic '06 starts~

Sonic just crossed his arms as he let the music play... but Wario just grabbed the radio, swung it around, and chucked it behind him... and right for Metal Sonic, who had a sniper rifle aimed at the quartet.

~His World stops~

The music stopped as soon as the radio slammed right into Metal Sonic's head, causing the radio and the robot to fall into the oil below.

"Alright, fine, just tell me why you're here," Sonic groaned.

"We're here because that Sanic freak kidnapped Crazy and Zigzagoon, that's why!" Waluigi answered.

"What?! That impostor? Ugh, first Eggman starts up stuff, and now him... meh, at least Eggman isn't too much of a threat, and if I'm tagging along, this shouldn't be long... fine, I'll lend a hand."

"Alright! Now let's go save those two! And then I can scam this Eggman guy of his credit card information too!" Anna ordered. The four then ran off towards the eastern part of Oil Ocean just as Natsuki finally came out of the Warp Pipe.

~Oil Ocean Zone, Act 1 from Sonic Mania starts to play~

The quartet sped on through together for a bit before they came to a gap between the metallic structures filled with the infamous oil. Anna and Sonic leaped over it while Wario and Waluigi stopped.

"Say... oil is a fossil fuel or somethin', right?" Wario asked Waluigi.

"Waa, think so."

"In that case, then there must be fossils stuck in this oil! Let's grab some quick before we save Crazy!"

"Ah yeah!" Waluigi cackled as he pulled out two fishing rods, handing one of them to his brother. The two started fishing, with Waluigi almost instantly fishing up one of Eggman's Redz from the oil. Waluigi groaned and chucked it back into the ominous oil ocean before Wario fished up the legendary Squidasaurus Rex... and chucked him back into the oil as well. Waluigi then yanked a living Aerodactyl out from the oil by the tail.

"Finally!" the Aerodactyl screeched. "After twelve minutes of listening to that awful Squidasaurus's clarinet music, I'm free! Bless you two!"

"No problem, whatever you are!" Waluigi replied, rubbing his glorious mustache.

"As thanks, I think I'll let you two have a ride while I soar through the air!"

"Oh yeah! Let's go!" Wario chuckled. The two brothers then leaped onto Aerodactyl's back before she took off into the orange skies above... right before Natsuki showed up.

"How'd those idiots fish up a living dinosaur from oil?!" Natsuki loudly wondered. "Ugh... all these talking skeletons and demonic morons and now this... our reality was way more sane than this reality." Natsuki then leaped over the oil-filled gap to continue her chase.


Anna and Sonic continued to run through Oil Ocean until Tails landed right in front of them, stopping them in their tracks.

"Yo Tails? Figured out what Eggman's up to?" Sonic asked.

"Other than the fact that he's working with some alien and something about Micheal Bay, not much," Tails answered.

"Slightly-less-typical-than-normal-yet-still-normal Eggman," Sonic remarked. "Anyways, that Sanic guy's up to something again, so I'm gonna take care of him first."

"Well, I might as well tag along the-" Tails said just as Anna zipped on by him. Sonic and Tails ran after her as Natsuki stared at the trio from one of the tall metal buildings that loomed over the toxic "ocean".

"Dummies," Natsuki grumbled. She jumped off the building and somehow glided over to the wall of an even larger building. Her spiky boxing gloves let her cling to the wall and even climb it to the very top, where Dr. Eggman was in his Egg Mobile, talking to the one-hundred percent real green alien, Marcianito.

"Oh-ho-ho-ho! Now all we need is to find that stupid echidna and our plan can finally go into motion!" Eggman cackled.

"Yes. Just have to find the stupid red furry that doesn't look like an echidna," Marcianito replied.

"Er, what? What are you-" the man with the master plan asked before Natsuki uppercutted Marcianito all the way up to the sun. R.I.P. little martian. "HEY! What's the big idea, Amy?! And why are you a human now?!"

"The name's Natsuki, idiot. Now shut your mouth!" Natsuki demanded. She pulled out a random piece of paper from out of nowhere and chucked it at Eggman, the paper somehow managing to land on Eggman's face.

~Oil Ocean Zone, Act 1 stops~

"What the?" Eggman muttered, taking the paper of his face, only to discover that it was a picture of Tails saying "Who's your daddy, Shadow?" via a text box.

~Boss - Omega Metroid from Metroid: Samus Returns starts to play~

Eggman screeched.

Sweat leaked out of his pores and dripped down in an instant.

Tears formed in his eyes.

His arms and hands wouldn't stop shaking.

He chucked the paper at the ground and tried to fly off, but his shaking caused him to fly out of control... and he crashed right into the oil.

~Boss - Omega Metroid stops~

"Gah... what a terrible, terrible image," Eggman complained, still shivering in fear. "Now how do I get out of this oil?" Eggman looked up, finding the Wario Bros. and Aerodactyl flying away. "HEY! UP THERE IN THE AIR! HELP!"

"Waa, you hear that?" Waluigi asked.

"All I hear is something that sounds like some big, fat crybaby that's as fragile as an egg," Wario answered. Aerodactyl quickly flew out of sight, causing a series of groans to leak out of Eggman's mouth.

"Stupid imbeciles... I even heard that insult!" Eggman complained. Just then, the infamous Tails Doll arose out of the oil right next to him. "Ah, Tails Doll! Go follow those maniacs flying on the reptile! I want to know where they live! I'm going to kidnap them later as revenge for leaving me here in this oil!" Tails Doll then cackled like Woody Woodpecker before flying out of the oil and after the flying trio... before Eggman just realized what mistake he just made, causing him to screech like an idiot.


On one of the highest points in Oil Ocean, Sanic was interrogating Crazy Hand and Zigzagoon about the whereabouts of Sonic and any weakpoints the actual hedgehog may have.

"Now where is that faker?! Tell me or else I will eat Doritos right in front of you!" Sanic demanded, grabbing a bag of nacho cheese Doritos, because it's THE Doritos flavor, let's be honest.

"NO! NOT THE DORITOS! THOSE MIGHT MAKE YOU FAT IF YOU EAT TOO MANY!" Crazy squealed while he and Zigzagoon tried to wiggle free from the ropes that bounded them to the Tornadon't. "NOT TO MENTION THEY MIGHT BE SOMEONE'S MOTHER!" Sanic then glanced at the Dorito bag with a confused and slightly concerned look one his face.

"Fair point, I'd rather not eat someone's mother," Sanic replied. The memehog chucked the Doritos to the side before he started scratching his non-existent chin with his round af hand. "But then how do I get the information out of you...?"

"You'll never get the info you want! Not unless you buy Skyrim for the Virtual Boy! Then you'll know everything you want and more!"

"Wait, that's it? Buy a game for a lost relic of bizarre quality? Man, and here I thought I was going to have to wash your car or something," Sanic muttered.

"Hah! I can't believe he actually bought that!" Crazy thought. "Wait! He didn't buy it, I gave him that lie for free! Darn it!" As Sanic dug around his wallet, Teals flew down next to the hegehog.

"Sanic, those Wario brothers, that Anna person, and that faker guy are here for the hand and the raccoon," Teals informed.

"Why didn't you tell me sooner, you bum!" Sanic growled. Teals glared at Sanic for the insult but the memehog ignored the glare. "Now tell me, where exactly are they?"

'We're right here, buddy!" Sonic stated. Both Sanic and Teals turned around, finding Wario, Waluigi, Aerodactyl, Anna, and Sonic right behind them.

"Now hand Crazy over, or else I'm going to smash you into next Tuesday, bozo!" Wario threatened, leaping off of Aerodactyl.

"Try me, noob!" Sanic taunted. Wario responded by dashing over to the fake hedgehog in the blink of an eye and punching Sanic right in his Microsoft Paint face. Sanic screamed as he flew out of sight in just a few seconds. Teals's eyes shrunk, shocked at just how far Sanic went.

"Wario... did you actually send him into next Tuesday?" Anna inquired.

"Sure did! Now c'mon, le-" Unfortunately for Wario, Sanic reappeared out of thin air and interrupted him.

"Hah! Nice try, fatso!"

"What?! You cheater!" Waluigi cried out.

"Yeah! How'd you come back from next Tuesday?!" Wario added.

"Magic signpost thing," Sanic answered. "By the way Teals, I accidentally crashed into you in next Tuesday and broke your back or something. LOL."

"Are you serious?! Ugh!" the now mad as hell Teals groaned. The Microsoft Paint fox leaped into the Tornadon't and flew off in it, taking Crazy and Zigzagoon with him.

"Teals! Don't take off without me, you coward!" the memehog demanded to no avail. "Whatever! I can take you guys on all by myself!"

"Oh can ya? We'll see about that!" Wario responded. The yellow moron charged ahead using his Shoulder Bash attack, but Sanic managed to land a swift kick that sent Wario the slightest bit upwards just before Wario could trample over the fake hedgehog. Right as Wario was just above Sanic, the memehog flipped himself over, stood on one of his hands, and attacked the moron with quick leg movements that formed the shape of a figure eight. After a few seconds, Sanic stopped and kicked Wario even higher up before the memehog went back into his normal position.

"Heh, so far, too eas-" Sanic claimed right before Sonic Homing Attack the faker, sending Sanic flying across the building over to Waluigi, who smacked Sanic right back with his tennis racket. Sanic landed on his stomach, but Anna brought a heavy stomp onto Sanic just for good measure.

"Too easy for us," Anna replied just Wario landed back down on the building butt-first.

"Great, now let's go after that Teals guy and save those two before Eggman does something stupid!" Sonic demanded. Once Sonic was done talking, Tails arrived in the Tornado and landed right next to them.

"Come on, hop on!" Tails shouted. Sonic and Anna leaped onto the top wing of the Tornado while Wario and Waluigi leaped back onto Aerodactyl. Both the Tornado and Aerodactyl took off at the same time, flying around the tall buildings throughout Oil Ocean. Aerodactyl even had to dodge Natsuki as she tried to glide right into the Pokémon. But soon enough, the gang managed to catch up with Teals and the Tornadon't. Waluigi, Anna, and Sonic leaped off and right onto Crazy Hand while Wario stayed on Aerodactyl for the tiniest bit longer, jumping onto the Tornadon't's top wing instead.

"Alright you little fox, you'd bet-" Wario said before noticing the new mask that covered Teals mouth. "Er, what's with the-"

~Chao Garden (Dark Version) from Sonic Adventure 2 starts to play~

"The mask? Hmph. Of course you notice the mask and question it," Teals said, the mask muffling his voice. "That's what everyone does. They don't care who I am. They just deem me ask weak and utilize me for whatever they want. They don't care who I am... until I put the mask on."

"Then why don't I rip that mask off of ya, huh?!" Wario threatened.

"That'd be extremely painful..."

"Good! You deserve some pain, "big guy"!"

"... for you. Don't interrupt me again, idiot, or el-"

"Or what, buddy?! What do you think you can do?!"

~Chao Garden (Dark Version) stops as Dr. Eggman from Sonic Battle starts~

"Crashing this plane... with no survivors!" Teals shouted. The fake fox pressed a button on a remote, causing the propellers on the Tornadon't to drop off, before leaping out and flying off with his twin tails. The Tornadon't started diving down, forcing Wario to cling onto the top wing as everyone else started screaming.


"DOES ANYONE HAVE A KNIFE ON THEM?!" Anna asked as loud as she could.

"WAA, GOT ONE RIGHT HERE," Waluigi responded by handing her a knife with Waluigi's upside-down L on the blade. "A KNIFE OF THE WALUIGI BRAND, AND EVEN WALUIGI FLAVORED!" Anna then started trying to cut the rope and, after a few seconds, managed to do so, but that resulted in all of those who were hanging onto Crazy and even Crazy himself to fall down, resulting in more screaming. However, Tails managed to catch Sonic and Anna on the top wing of the Tornado, Waluigi and Zigzagoon landed safely on Aerodactyl, and Crazy managed to regain control of himself and stopped falling.

"It looks like this is the end... unless I get randomly determined again," Wario muttered, closing his eyes. Despite Wario's anticipation, Crazy swooped in and grabbed his friend. Crazy then dove into a large Warp Pipe sticking out of the top of one of the metal buildings, with everyone else diving in, including Natsuki, Tails Doll, and even Adventures Of Sonic The Hedgehog Dr. Robotnik, right afterwards.


~Dr. Eggman stops~

Back at Wario's Gold Mine, Sandshrew and Sandslash were throwing rolls of toilet paper at Wario and Waluigi's house. Right as Sandslash was about to toss the last roll, a large Warp Pipe poked out right above the hole Crazy got stuck in earlier before Wario, Waluigi, and everyone else came on out, scaring the two Ground types away. Crazy let Wario go, Tails landed the Torndao, letting Anna and Sonic hop off, Waluigi and Zigzagoon leaped off of Aerodactyl, and Natsuki and AOSTH Robotnik somehow landed safely on their feet. With everyone out of the pipe, it disappeared, leaving the cliff the same as it was.

"Well, that's that. Crazy and Zigzagoon are free, Sanic got dunked on, and we all made it out alive," Anna said.

"Yeah, and now we can finally relax," Wario replied, stretching his arms.

"Oh no you can't!" Natsuki hollered, jumping at Wario before pummeling him with her spiky boxing gloves. Waluigi, Crazy, and Anna tried to get Natsuki off of Wario while everyone else just stared at the fight.

"Ugh... c'mon Tails. Let's go find the quickest way back to Oil Ocean before Eggman does his stupid stuff," Sonic said to his best friend before they took off for the skies again.


Eggman was still in Oil Ocean, wadding through the oil to the closest metal bit. Right as he was almost to the safety of the metal, he found a few hundred boxes of dynamite sticking out of the oil.

"You gotta be kidding me! First I lose my newest ally, then I fall into oil, then I have some moron insult me, and now most of my dynamite somehow ends up in the oil?!" Eggman complained, grabbing one of the boxes. "At least some of it still looks like they're where I left them, but still... what's next?!" Suddenly, a giant shadow loomed over the scientist, causing him to look up and find the Tornadon't falling right for him. Or more precisely, his boxes of dynamite on the metallic "shore". Eggman couldn't do a single thing before the biplane crashed right into the boxes, causing a massive explosion that started a massive oil fire across the entire "ocean". And once the oil fire reached the dynamite in the oil, they exploded too, resulting in a crying Eggman to fly far from Oil Ocean.

Chapter Text

Episode 21: Weegee Smash Bros.

It was a cold, rainy night in the streets of Smashtopolis. Many of the folks that lived in the city for the tournament had gone back to their actual homes, leaving the huge city a lot more empty. Of course, Master Hand and Professor E. Gadd didn't mind, for that meant they would have less traffic to deal with, and thus could get what they needed to get done, well, done and over with a lot faster. Master Hand drove his giant bus, E. Gadd sitting in the seat behind him, until the giant hand parked in a Wal Mart's parking lot.

"So, how's the whole flash drive hunt been going?" Master Hand asked as he got out of the driver's seat. "Any luck on making exact pinpoints with that tracker thing?"

"Sadly no. In fact, I haven't even got much research done at all lately ever since yesterday," E. Gadd said as the two got off the bus. "All I have gotten at all are messages from that sea star fellow back in Bikini Bottom, asking if I can scientifically prove that mayonnaise is an instrument. Oh, and this Professor Juniper keeps sending me messages about her wanting me to come over and research "on her", and she's been sending images of her chest for some reason."

"Uh... oh. That's... something," Master Hand replied. The two moved closer to the Wal Mart until a bunch of Nintendo characters came running out of the front entrance, screaming joyfully while waving their arms around as stupidly as possible.

"Oyamaa! The squeals of the moronic! How beautiful it sounds, rivaling the chirps of even the most wondrous song birds!" E. Gadd commented.

"What's even going on?" Master Hand wondered before a Steenee rushed over to them, flailing her arms just like the rest of the morons.


"What?" Master Hand muttered. Steenee then grabbed the two of them and chucked them all the way into the back of the Wal Mart, where they crashed into the floor right before all the TVs the store had out. "Ugh... you alright, Elvin?"

"Maybe, but I might have a twisted ankle, " E. Gadd replied as the two got back up. Elvin then lifted his right leg and took his shoe off to get a better at the ankle.


"Yep, twisted ankle." The professor then grabbed his sock and drew it closer back to his foot so he could put it back on.

"HEY! DON'T YOU DARE TRY TO PUT ME BACK IN THE VOID! I'LL DESTROY EVERY SINGLE LAST CELL IN YOUR BODY IF YOU DO!" the ankle threatened. But E. Gadd didn't give a damn and put his sock and shoe back on anyways. Once Elvin got his clothes back on, the extremely long and repetitive ad Steenee was talking about started from the beginning again.

~Studiopolis Zone, Act 2 (Prime Time) from Sonic Mania starts to play~

"Hello there, random people I likely never met before!" an unknown woman's voice boomed through the TVs. "Are you upset that the Smash Brothers tournament has ended? Are you so distraught about it that you have nothing better to look forward to other than being insane on the Internet? Well then, we have the thing for you! Because starting on November 27th, a brand new tournament in the same style of Smash Bros. run by a man named Weegee is beginning!"

"WHAT?!" Master Hand exclaimed.

"You heard right, morons who are exclaiming "WHAT?!", a new tournament run by Weegee!" the woman continued. "Here are just a few of the many characters who will duke it out in the new, improved, and less-controversial-due-to-this-tournament-not-having-a-fandom-yet tournament! First up is a wonderful Bellsprout!"

"Bellsprout!" a Bellsprout exclaimed as she appeared in the advertisement just to thrust her hips.

"Shrek the ogre!" the woman added. Bellsprout vanished in the ad in favor of that one png of Shrek just standing there, smiling like an idiot, before even he got replaced with Daisy. "Princess Daisy, who's only here because some maniac kept bugging the hell out of Weegee to get her in!"

"Hi, I'm Dai-" Daisy said before Bubsy motherfucking Bobcat tackled her all the way off screen.

"That demon that just whizzed by and tackle Daisy!" the woman said just as Banjo walked onto the screen. "Oh, and whoever this bear is. Some people like him apparently." Just then a whole slew of other characters, including Natsuki, CD-I Ganon, that horrifying Crash from the old Crash Bandicoot 2: Cortex Strikes Back ad, a toaster, Bunny Lucina, Goofy Goober, and many more rushed onto the screen, causing Banjo to shriek and run the other way before he could get trampled. "So get ready for the brand new tournament, Weegee Smash Bros.!"

~Studiopolis Zone, Act 2 (Prime Time) stops~

"If you'd like to know more about Weegee Smash Bros., please come to the Weegee Smash Grounds right outside of Smashtopolis," the woman ended before the ad began to show pictures of the grounds.

"Oyamaa. All those people being excited over something like this proves that people will get excited over anything I suppose. What do you think, Master Hand mah boi?" E. Gadd asked his friend.

"He's... he's TRYING TO THROW SMASH BROS. INTO A GRAVE!" Master Hand yelled. The Steenee came back, grabbed the two, and chucked them right back out of Wal Mart and into the parking lot, where they landed right in front of the giant bus.

"And that Steenee's trying to throw us into a grave," Elvin added as the two got up again.

"FORGET ABOUT US BEING THROWN INTO A GRAVE, WE NEED TO KEEP SMASH BROS. OUT OF THE GRAVE!" The two climbed into the bus before Master Hand floored it out of the parking lot.


NOVEMBER 27th, 2016

~Goodnight from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers Of Time/ Darkness starts to play~

Everyone in Wario's house were completely asleep. Wario and Anna were sleeping in the same bed, Waluigi slept in his bed, Crazy slept in front of the television as it was still on, with the program on it being an ad for Waluigi's Taco Stand, and Zigzagoon was sleeping right on top of the TV. Even Sans was fast asleep on the roof of the roof... all while Sandshrew and Sandslash kept painting the words "Shoutouts to Simpleflips" on the front door...

~Goodnight stops as Metal Battle from Super Smash Bros. Melee starts~

... until four robotic, noodle-y arms broke through one of the house's windows, each of them speeding through the house so they could grab onto Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, and Zigzagoon, waking them plus Anna up in a flash.

"Waa! What's going on?!" Wario demanded to know as Anna tried to free him from the robotic claw.

"IT'S THE APOCALYPSE! THE ROBOTS ARE GONNA TAKE OVER! THEY'LL ESPECIALLY ENJOY TAKING OVER THE NAVY!" Crazy insisted. The hand latching onto Zigzagoon then pulled him out of the house before Crazy and Waluigi got dragged out too.

"Never thought my life would end by being taking prisoner by robots," Wario remarked.

"Oh no it isn't! I'm going to save you, our friends, and then we'll take this robot army down togeth-" Anna commented before the hand dragged Wario and, due to her might, Anna herself, out of the house... and all the way into Master Hand's giant bus, where they were dropped on top of Waluigi and Crazy.

"And there goes my happiness once again," Lucario, who sat right next to E. Gadd in the front of the bus, complained. Meanwhile, Sans just teleported onto the top of the bus before turning to the "screen" and shrugging.

"What? Thought I was just gonna sit here in this canyon while they're gone?" the skeleton said no one, or maybe someone. Master Hand pushed the bus to high speed again, getting the bus to fly right out of the canyon of Wario's Gold Mine.

~Metal Battle stops~

With the Wario and his friends gone, Sandshrew and Sandslash stared at where the bus once was, their only movements being very fast blinks. After a few seconds, the two Ground types turned to each other. Sandslash slowly pulled a bunch more of purple paint out of nowhere, and the two ran back over to Wario's house.


The sun was shining over the fourth abandoned Smash Grounds. The Pidgey were singing, the Sunflora were using Growth... and on days like these, only wackos like Eggman would hang around a joint like that empty place.

"Muwahahaha! Excellent!" Eggman cackled while admiring the place. "With no one here anymore, I can turn this wasteland into a new base! And this base might be the one where I can pull off my most evil scheme yet: mass producing advanced Spiny Shells and sending them to the officials running the Mario Kart races!" Eggman then laughed maniacally while placing his hands on his belly. While he cackled, a horrifying noise filled the air, swiftly getting louder as the source got closer to the Smash Grounds. Eggman was so caught up in his laughter that he didn't notice the danger until a large shadow loomed over him, just as the noise stopped. Eggman stopped his laughter and looked up...

... Right above him was Master Hand's bus, which landed right on top of the mad scientist, the crash making the same sound a Spiny Shell makes while blowing up. With Eggman thrown under the bus, all of the Smashers, Assist Trophy characters, Crazy Hand, Anna, and Zigzagoon got kicked out of the bus, all of them landing in a huge pile, before Master Hand and E. Gadd safely walked out.

"Everyone! Listen, I brought you all back for a very good reason!" Master Hand said while everyone in the pile began to climb out of it.

"It better be a damn good reason, because everyone here would rather be back home or at least be doing something better than being here!" Dark Pit claimed. Crazy zipped by the edgelord so fast that Dark Pit fell flat on his face.

"I don't have anything better to do, because all my friends are together again!" Crazy stated once he was by Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Duck Hunt Dog, Anna, and Zigzagoon.

"Well... just listen! Weegee has made his own tournament just like Smash Bros.! He's clearly doing to throw Smash Bros. out of with this, and even worse, who knows what kind of things we could get his hands on with all this money and support he's get-" Master Hand informed the huge group before being interrupted by loud snoring. Everyone glanced over to Wario and Waluigi, both of them seemingly asleep, with the latter being the one behind the snoring. Master Hand was about to wake them up violently, but E. Gadd intervened before that could happen.

"He's also planning on making sure Waluigi never gets his own game!" the old scientist lied. And then the two "woke up", screeching mindless screeches.

"LEMME AT 'EM, LEMME AT 'EM!" Wario demanded, punching the air.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Waluigi yelled, spinning in a circle.


"WE WILL SEND HIM TO DEVIANTART SO HE CAN SUFFER FOR HIS PLANS!" Crazy claimed as he was running around the screaming brothers while wielding twenty lightsabers at once.

"Alright, calm down you four! What we need to do is come up with a plan that'll make Smash Bros. more popular than Weegee's ne-" Master Hand said, only for Snake to interrupt him.

"First ten characters who show up get to join the tournament," the soldier suggested.

"And possibly bring in more maniacs like Wario? How about we don-" Lucario tried to say.

"Brilliant! First TWENTY characters who show up get to join Smash Bros.! That's the perfect plan!" Master Hand cried out. "Meta Knight, Mario! You two go out to Smashtopolis and advertise and make sure to stay out of Weegee's sight! Wario, Waluigi, you two can go online and..." As Master Hand kept dishing out commands to the Smashers and company, Lucario pulled out a small container of medical pills for curing headaches. Instead of just swallowing one pill, Lucario took every single last pill from the container before tossing the container to the side.

Three Hours Later...

The gates of the Smash Grounds was decorated with all sorts of ads promoting the return of the Smash Bros. tournament, and especially for the promotion for the "first twenty characters who show up get to join the tournament" idea. Master Hand sat at a booth right in the middle of the grounds.

But nobody came.

A lone Voltorb bounced between the booth and the gates, bouncing along parallel to Master Hand, before eventually exploding off screen and setting Ness on fire.

"WHERE ARE THEY?!" Master Hand demanded to know as everyone gathered around him. "With all that advertising, we should've had them coming by the hundreds at least!"

"Beats me bro, but I sent our best agent out to see if Weegee had anything to do with it!" Crazy said.

"Oh, so you sent Sna-" Master Hand said until he realized that Snake was right beside him. "Uh... Crazy, who did you send?"


A huge line of overly anxious people, mostly consisting of Nintendo characters, had formed at Weegee's tournament grounds, causing lots of ruckus. As Dr. Wily did ID checks before letting people in, Weegee and Natsuki stood right outside of "Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand", with Weegee holding a clipboard with a piece of paper on it. Some of the stuff on the paper was actually relevant to the tournament, but most of it was just pictures of Love Live.

"You sure this tournament's gonna mess with those Wario and Waluigi morons?" Natsuki asked Weegee.

"Yeah, at least it ought to separate them from their stupid friends once and for all. And once we have that done, we can burn their house to the ground with lamp oil, rope, and a new mixtape I've been working on," Weegee answered.

"Hey Weegee!" Malleo squealed as he and Ai Kizuna suddenly appeared behind Weegee, giving him a frighten and causing him to let out a slight yelp. "So many people have come! Do you think mom or dad might be here?!"

"Uh, maybe, we'll see if they are! Now why don't you go see that Bellsprout girl? I think she wanted to play some Sonic games with two!" Weegee stuttered.

"Yeah yeah yeah, playing Sonic games with a new friend! C'mon Ai, let's go find Bellsprout at the speed of sound!"

"Yeah! Let's go fast!" Ai excitedly replied, somehow suddenly in a bumper car. She drove off at high speed, running into Elec Man and flattening him before Malleo chased after her. Weegee and Natsuki just stared at the runaway duo, the former sighing.

"Neither of them are going to show up, are they?" Natsuki asked Weegee.

"Yeah, it's a long story, and I'm not telling you any of it," the evil meme groaned. Right as the two got back to talking about bringing down Super Smash Bros., a bush a fair distance away from them began to shake...

~Secret Service by Syd Dale starts to play~

... and all of the shaking was caused by Zigzagoon, who was wearing spy gear as he popped out of the bush. The Pokémon took a quick look around before diving for another bush that was closer to the grounds's entrance. Cut Man walked by the second bush, but Zigzagoon stuck out his back foot and tripped the robot before diving underneath a box that was even closer to where Zigzagoon needed to go. The little Pokémon started sneaking by the ruckus while using the box as a disguise, but Guts Man soon took notice of the moving box.

"Wait a minute..." the big robot muttered. Zigzagoon stopped in his tracks, letting the box hit the ground just as Guts Man approached. Guts Man picked up the box, surprising to find nothing beneath it or even in it. "Huh. Could sworn I saw this thing move like somethin' was hiding under it." Guts Man put the box down, but Zigzagoon reappeared right behind the robot, floating with a jetpack and wielding a silencer pistol. Zigzagoon then shot a firework out of the gun, knocking Guts Man down and out before Zigzgoon flew up and over the entrance to Weegee's tournament grounds, landing safely by the long line. He looked at the sign above the entrance, which had the words "First Hundred Folks To Come Get To Join The New Tournament!" written on it. Zigzagoon gasped and dug right into the ground, heading back inside to find more info.


~Secret Service stops~

"Well, sounds like someone's going to have to start digging that Zigzagoon's grave then," Lucario remarked.

"HEY! Zigzagoon's smarter and stronger than you think, you big fat meanie!" Crazy insisted.

"Yeah, I'm sure that "pet" of yours is capable of sneaking into Weegee's property, getting the info we need, and sneaking right back out alive. Completely positive."

"That's the spirit! Stay positive and believe in Zigzagoon!" the insane hand said, giving Lucario a thumbs up. Lucario groaned and was just about to comment on Crazy's stupidity when Zigzagoon showed up on a unicycle moving by itself. The unicycle ran both Lucario and Luigi over, causing both of them to scream once the unicycle zoomed past.

"Waa-haa-haa!" Wario cackled. Waluigi on the other hand held up a sign that said "Ten tens out of ten, not enough tens".

"And there he is! What'd you find out, Zigzagoon?" Crazy asked his little friend as the unicycle vanished into thin air. Zigzagoon responded by handing the big hand a photo of the sign promoting the first hundred gimmick Weegee was using. "Hey, Weegee ripped off our idea of the first whatever people! AH9VNHJNVNERBJT!"

"What?! Let me see that!" Master Hand demanded, snatching the photo from his brother. Master Hand glared at the photo somehow for a few seconds before tossing it aside. "That's gotta be a coincidence! There's no way he tried ripping us off... even if he would do that!" Zigzagoon merely shook his head at Master Hand's claim.

"You mean he definitely did rip us off? How, little buddy?" Crazy wondered. Zigzagoon only answered by pointing his front paw to the bus.

"Waa? In here?" Waluigi asked before he, Wario, and Falco climbed into the bus. Everyone else just sat there, waiting for whatever the trio of stupidity could find, until Wario let out a scream.

~Grass Skirt Chase by Sage Guyton and Jeremy Wakefield starts to play~

A few bangs and screams could be heard coming from the inside of the bus before Plankton came running out, with Wario, Waluigi, and Falco on his non-existent tail.

"Just do what SpongeBob did when he ruined that dream, Sheldon!" Plankton thought before he morphed into a tack. Wario stepped on the tiny miscreant, screamed, and shot up into the air before Waluigi and Falco did the same. "Ha! You can't stop me, mortal foo-"

... And then Wario fell back down on Plankton butt-first and squashed him anyways.

~Grass Skirt Chase stops~

"Ouch," Plankton groaned. As Waluigi and Falco fell back down to the ground, Wario farted right on Plankton, forcing the one-eyed monst- er, freak, to cough and gag.

"I feel sorry for that little guy," Lucario muttered.

"Oh, so Weegee decided to spy on us using this little freak, huh?" Master Hand growled, approaching Wario and the flattened Plankton. Wario got off just before Master Hand picked Plankton off the ground and chucked him away. Plankton, still flat as paper, landed right in the middle of Lucina's chest.

"This joke again? Really?" Lucina complained.

"Yeah, me getting flattened. Real original. I hate it too, sister," Plankton replied.

"Well, looks like gimmicks won't work anymore," Master Hand remarked.

"Does that mean there won't be as many gimmicky newcomers for the next tournament?" Pikachu asked.

"We're going to need to change tactics!" the giant hand continued, ignoring Pikachu's question. "We're going to tear Weegee's tournament apart by force!"

"I think we're going to need more people if we're going to try and fight Weegee and all those people in his tournament," Meta Knight stated.

"Oh-ho! In that case, Wario's gonna have to make a few calls!" the yellow moron said, pulling out a cell phone.

~Neon City from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

Suddenly, the "screen" split in half diagonally, with one end staying on Wario while the other end was pure black... or at least it was until Wario called SpongeBob, who was inside his pineapple's kitchen with Patrick.

"Hey there, SpongeBob? I need you to beat up Weegee with me!" Wario told the sponge.

"We're ready!" SpongeBob replied.

"Yang!" Patrick weirdly added for no reason other than that he could say it. Wario hung up on the two and instantly connected to Snorlax, who was chilling in the woods near the Smash Grounds.

"Snorlax! I need your help! What's the pay? Uh, hold on," Wario said to Snorlax before moving the phone by Waluigi's mouth.

"Watch?v=6n3pFFPSlW4!" Waluigi somehow shouted into the phone before Wario brought the cell back to his own ears.

"I can't hear you, you're breaking up!" Wario lied.

"I didn't even ask for any money or an-" Snorlax said before Wario ended the call, instantly starting up a call with Fat Mario, who was in the middle of a random Burger King.

"Oh-ho, so you'll beat up evil memes with me or what?" Wario asked the chubby version of Mario.

"No," Fat Mario answered in that iconic voice of his. Wario ended that call and got connected with Squidward, who was in his bath tub in the nude.

"Hey Squidwar-" Wario said, only for Squidward to scream like a maniac before hanging up. "Eh, oh, OK, I'll call you back." Wario then ended the call and called Mona, who was in a theater with the rest of the main WarioWare cast aside from Ashley, all of them excited that Wario had called them. "Wrong number, sorry." Everyone in the theater donned sad looks on their faces as Mr. Krabs came in, playing a sad song on the world's smallest violin. Wario hung up again, this time calling the Waluigi look-a-like, WAA HAA HEE, who was in hell, on accident.

"It's-a me," WAA HAA HEE said, disturbing Wario enough to end the call then and there. Wario the called Vaike, who was in Waluigi Pinball.

"ME!" Wario idiotically said, though Vaike somehow understood that Wario needed his help. The call ended, and thus Wario called the Aerodactyl from yesterday's shenanigans with Sanic, shouting out "IT'S" yet still somehow getting the plea for help across.

"Is this going to end soo-" Lucario asked before Wario continued his calling spree. This time, the yellow maniac called the Ariados who attacked Natsuki a few days before, with said Pocket Monster still at Wario's Gold Mine.


Wario ended the call, going on to call King Harkinian while the king was at Koridai.


Wario hung up yet again, calling Crash Bandicoot, who was at N. Sanity Beach.


Yet another hang up from Wario before he called Chie Satonaka as she was hanging around in Inaba.

"Oh, sorry, I thought this was somebody worth talking to," Chie said to Wario.

~Neon City stops~

Wario's mouth hung agate as Chie hung up.

"Finally, it's all ov-" Lucario tried to say.

"Well, just gotta make a few more calls!" Wario said.

Two Minutes Of Phone Calls Later...

"... Aaaand done!" Wario stated.

"How long is it going to take for all those folk to show up?" Master Hand wondered. He got his answer a second later when a bus came crashing down, exploding and burning into nothing in seconds. Where the bus crashed were nearly everyone Wario had called, bar Snorlax, Fat Mario, Squidward, the WarioWare gang, WAA HAA HEE and Chie, all of them in perfect condition.

"A few seconds," Wario replied anyways.

"WARIO, YOU CALLED THE GRIM REAPER OF ALL THINGS?!" Lucario squealed, pointing at Death from Castlevania, who was among those who rode the bus, as Luigi cowered in fear.

"He sure did," Death said. "It's nice to see you in the flesh again, Wario. You too, Waluigi."

"Yeah, it's nice seeing ya again after all these years," Waluigi said.

"Well, I think we have enough people. Let's spring my plan into action!" Master Hand demanded.

One 1966 Batman-Styled Scene Transition Featuring Wario And Waluigi Spinning Around In The Void Later...

The line had cleared up at Weegee's tournament grounds, with everyone finally in the grounds itself. Master Hand and E. Gadd waited behind a set of trees just big enough to somewhat conceal them and Master Hand's giant bus, most of the Smashers, Assist Trophy characters, and the like were also hidden around the tournament grounds, and Lucario and Pikachu were dressed up in fancy outfits, approaching the grounds's entrance.

"Ah, more people wanting to check the tournament out I see!" Wily said as Lucario and Pikachu approached. "I'll need something to verify your identity ple-"

"Oh, we're not here for the tournament. We're here to talk about taking down Dr. Light with you, Albert," Lucario lied.

"Woah, really?! Nice to see more people want to give that fat man some well-deserved pain!" As Wily got too caught up blabbering about how he wants to bring Dr. Light and Mega Man down, Pikachu sneaked right in.

"Pikachu's in," Master Hand spoke into a walkie-talkie that E. Gadd held on to. "Wario, Waluigi, Zigzagoon, now's the time for you three to start digging in."

"With pleasure!" Wario said, putting away the walkie-talkie. While Zigzagoon used Dig to dig a hole for the trio to sneak into the grounds with, Wario started munching on some garlic. Once Zigzagoon's hole got big and deep enough, the Wario Bros. dove in too.

"And thus I decided to send Light some links to some of those weird sites about porn, hoping on those viruses will get him. Yet, to this day, I still don't know what porn is," Wily said, even though Lucario didn't actually care about what Wily said. However, due to all the pills Lucario took earlier to avoid getting headaches ironically gave him one... and started messing with his mind. Lucario's eyes became purple, he started to become far more carefree... sorta... "Uh, hey, are you alright? Your eyes are turning purple an-"

And then Lucario snapped.

~Outlaw! from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Explorers of Time/ Darkness starts to play~

"YEEEEEEHAW!" Lucario screeched just like how Crash Bandicoot did in the first Crash game. The Pokémon then tackled Wily, sending him flying through the crowd in the tournament grounds before crashing into Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand.

"What the fuck is going on?" Weegee wondered.


"Yeah, bail in!" Crazy Hand squealed, breaking through one of the grounds's walls while spazzing as usual. All of those who weren't set to participate in Weegee's tournament ran for the exit as the rest of Master Hand's army came in, most of them idiotically falling from the sky or smashing through things.

~Outlaw! stops~

Once all of the non-participants had left, almost all of Master Hand's army, including the big hand himself, were in and ready for battle. All except for Wario, Waluigi, and Zigzagoon.

~Dummy Threat! from Undertale starts to play~

"Fucking of course. Of course it's you maniacs," Weegee cursed.

"The only maniacs here are you and your friends, Weegee," Master Hand replied. "Now, I'm giving you ONE chance to end this tournament right now and never mess with us ever again."

"And I'm giving you one chance to buzz off. Maybe if you do, I'll end this tournament of mine. But only if you leave," Weegee threatened back. Both sides remained still. Master Hand's fingers twitched ever so slightly. A hateful frown hid behind Weegee's mustache. And Crazy was watching an episode of SpongeBob on a portable laptop.

~Dummy Threat! stops~

Suddenly, the ground began to shake a bit right before Lucario shot out right beneath Weegee while yeehawing again, causing the evil meme to fall flat on his face.

"Lucario, you're being just as bad as Wario an-" Master Hand said, only for Weegee to interrupt.

~Planet Namek (Destroyed) from Dragon Ball FighterZ starts to play~

"That's it, you asked for it! Everyone, attack!" Weegee's army lunged for Master Hand's, forcing Master Hand and friends to do the same as the meme himself got up. Just as Weegee got back on his feet, Death tried to slice the life out of the meme with his iconic scythe... only for Weegee to grab onto the scythe's blade.

"Um..." Death muttered.

"Um what? Thought I was that weak? Thought that I was just some scardey-cat plumber? Guess what, even if you did slice me, you wouldn't be able to reap my soul that easily. Now go be grim somewhere, dumbass," Weegee said, swiping the scythe out of Death's hands. The meme sliced Death's skull of the rest of his skeletal body before kicking it off to the distance. Meanwhile, Wario, Waluigi, and Zigzagoon just popped up within the first floor of Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand, right in front of large windows that were the only things between them and the huge brawl.

"Waa, when do think the inevitable fight between Weegee and all of us will start?" Waluigi asked Wario as Zigzagoon stared at the fight, witnessing Bellsprout beat the living hell out of Ganondorf and Mewtwo at the same time.

"Meh, probably in an hour or two," Wario answered.

"Inevitable fight? What inevitable fight?" Ai asked, her and Malleo having just shown up next to the two bros.

"Oh, the fight between Weegee and us because this whole tournament is just another attempt at getting revenge at us," Wario answered.

"Darn it! Should'a known Weegee was just trying to mess with you guys again!" Malleo moaned. "I know what to do though! The basement's got some sorta button that summons a giant robot for kicking people out I think!"

"Oh yeah! We'll kick Weegee out! Let's go already!" Waluigi demanded.

"Hop on!" Ai said, her random bumper car spawning out of nowhere again. Wario, Waluigi, and Malleo jumped on and Ai drove off for the basement, leaving Zigzagoon behind. The little Pokémon pulled out his silencer and fired another firework out of it. The firework blasted through the glass and exploded as soon as it came into contact with Weegee, forcing Death's scythe to fly out of the meme's hands. This let Anna get up close and personal with Weegee, kicking him numerous times before she punched him a fair distance away. Right as she was about to start sniping him with her arrows, Natsuki started kicking Anna back.

"Heh, a big pink loser like you, thinkin' you can take me? Ha! As if, but I'd like to see you try!" Guts Man cackled, standing before Patrick.

"Better than being a useless heap of metal," Patrick replied.

"What?" Guts Man muttered before Patrick lifted the Robot Master and performing an Argentine backbreaker on him, snapping Guts Man into two halves.


Ai kept driving through the basement until she ran through a metal door, revealing a massive control room.

"Now which one of these is the button for the giant robot?" Wario asked, all of them leaping off the bumper car.

"Hmm... I think it's the big red one!" Malleo said, smashing the button with his fist.


~Planet Namek (Destroyed) stops~

The ground around the grounds began to shake wildly. Everyone stopped fighting, except for Lucario, who kept idiotically flinging himself at random people, just to wonder what was behind the sudden quakes.

"Damn, now what?" Weegee cursed. Everyone get looking around, but it wasn't until Snake looked up at the top of Weegee's Even Better Palace And Taco Stand that anyone knew just what was going on.

"Everyone! At the top of the palace!" Snake said, pointing at a giant Time Bob-omb that was rising out of the palace, already counting down from fifteen.

~Boss (Pinch) from Sonic Advance 2 starts to play~

"RUN FOR YOUR LIVES!" Master Hand screamed. Everyone outside fled for the grounds's exit, except for Lucario again, who just continued to tackle people pointlessly. Weegee and Master Hand's army just barely made it out with some of Weegee's allies like Bellsprout and Banjo...

~Boss (Pinch) stops~

... before the Time Bob-omb reached zero and blew up, decimating the entire tournament grounds and burning everyone unlucky enough to escape, yet not doing any damage whatsoever to anything outside of the grounds. Once the damage was done, Wario and company dug themselves out of the ground, discovering all the damage they had done.

"... Fuck this, I'm going home," Weegee growled, teleporting back to his island. Everyone still conscious stared at all the unconscious and burnt people laying around the grounds.

"Eh, at least we can go back to our safe and unharmed home," Waluigi stated.

Another Batman-Styled Scene Transition Featuring Wario And Waluigi Spinning Around In The Void Later...

Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, Anna, Zigzagoon, and Sans were standing in front of Wario and Waluigi's house, now drenched in purple paint thanks to Sandshrew and Sandslash. The two Pokémon waited in some nearby bushes for a sad or enraged reaction from the brothers...

~Victory Fanfare from Final Fantasy 7 starts to play~

... but instead they only got reactions of joy out of them.

"Waa haa! It's beautiful! The perfect shade of the perfect color!" Waluigi cackled, him and Wario dancing as Sandshrew and Sandslash started to cry.

Chapter Text

Episode 22: Spaghetti Makers

NOVEMBER 28th, 2016

~The main menu theme from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

The sun had yet to even rise over Wario and Waluigi's house, yet everyone was up and about within. Waluigi and Anna were putting stuff away in the kitchen, Crazy Hand and Zigzagoon were watching the SpongeBob episode "Idiot Box" on the living room's TV, and Wario was checking on some of their most valuable possessions.

"Anna's Illusory Yumi or whatever? Check," Wario said to himself, putting the bow to the side. "Our old memory book? Check."

"Underwear!" SpongeBob's voice exclaimed through the TV as he and his pink friend prepared to climb their imaginary, icy mountain within the box.

"Uh... check!" Patrick replied.

"Seems like nearly everything! Just gotta check the Dinner Blast real quick..." Wario muttered. Wario picked up the weapon, gave a quick examination of its exterior, and then peaked into it... finding the weapon completely empty of its powerful spaghetti ammo.

~The main menu theme stops~

"WAA! The Dinner Blaster's empty!" Wario yelled. "And I know we still had a few rounds of spaghetti left!"

"And we don't have anything to make anymore spaghetti with!" Anna pointed out. "Where could it have all gone so quickly?!" Anna got her answer when a loud burp came from the end of the house that was closer to the cliff outside. Everyone turned that direction, finding Fat Mario and Gay Luigi, the latter with spaghetti sauce around his mouth and all over his mustache.

"How long have we been here for?" Fat Mario wondered.

"Probably not even a minute," Gay Luigi answered.

"WAAAAAAAA!" Wario screeched, causing everyone else bar Zigzagoon to scream about how they were "defenseless" while running around the house, waving their arms around wildly. SpongeBob and Patrick joined in on the screaming by coincidence as they fell down the imaginary mountain from the first avalanche. Only Anna eventually stopped panicking after a few seconds.

"Wait, are we overreacting to this?" Anna pondered. Zigzagoon merely answered by nodding, yet everyone else still panicked anyways. Meanwhile, a figure whose identity was covered by the darkness of the very early morning stood a fair ways away from Wario and Waluigi's house. The figure slowly marched towards the house, making the sound of snow getting stepped on, even though there wasn't a single snowflake on the rocky ground. Sandshrew and Sandslash watched from the roof and quickly ran away. Soon enough, the tall figure was just a few steps away from the door while the panicking continued inside.

"What if someone attacks us?! And just think about just who that someone might be!" Crazy squealed. "It could be Sanic, or that Dr. Pootis guy, or worse!"

"Yeah, like Weegee!" Waluigi claimed.

"Yeah, but even worse than him! It could be... Lucario!" the giant hand suggested.

"WAAAAAA! NO, NOT HIM AGAIN!" Waluigi yelled. Suddenly, the tall figure knocked on the door, ending the screaming and the panicking.

"... I'll open it, just keep quiet," Wario said. He swiftly yet nearly silently dashed over to the door before very, very slowly opening it. The light from within the house revealed the figure's true identity... as the great Papyrus.

~Nyeh Heh Heh! from Undertale starts to play~

"Oh, it's just some random skeleton," Wario said.

"He looks more like Waluigi's skeleton from the future to me," Crazy stated.

"I am not just some random skeleton, living thing that smells like Sans's sock! I am the great Papyrus!" the skeleton cackled while preforming that iconic pose of his.

"Whadda ya want, weirdo?" Waluigi asked.

"I'm looking for my lazy brother, Sans. One day he just walked out the house and vanished for who knows how long now! He didn't tell me where he was going, how long he was going to be gone, and worst part is, he STILL left his sock laying around AGAIN! I heard that he's spent the last few days around here by some people, so I came here to see if you've seen him."

"That guy in the blue hoodie? Nah, not today. I was just hours ago wandering outside, haven't seen him," Anna answered.

"Maybe he's not here because of some sort of ironic jo-" Gay Luigi said before Fat Mario covered his brothers mouth.

"Meh, c'mon guys. He can find his brother by himself, we need to get ready to make some spaghetti," Waluigi stated.

"Oooh, spaghetti? I love making spaghetti! I suppose the hunt for Sans can wait a while... mind if I join in?" Papyrus asked.

"Oh-ho, sure! The more the merrier!" Wario cackled.

"Then let's go get some ingredients," Anna said. Everyone raced outside, ready to head to the closest store open that early in the morning...


~Nyeh Heh Heh! stops as Pirate Shop from Wario Land: Shake It! starts~

... and the closest one was a new store built close to where Weegee's tournament grounds called the It's Not A Trap. Wario, Waluigi, and the rest of the gang, scavenged the whole store while in separate groups for spaghetti sauce, meat, and noodles, looking up and down and all around.

"You guys find anything?" Waluigi asked Anna over the phone as Wario climbed all over the shelves.

"Other than finding a terrible store to come to, no," Anna answered.

"I found this thing!" Crazy said, approaching Anna with a Banana Bird in his hand/ whole body/ whatever.

~Pirate Shop stops as Drill Chase from Metroid: Samus Returns starts~

Once the "screen" zoomed in on the Banana Bird, the bird gave the "screen" a smile while only halfways facing the "screen", horror coming from its disturbing eye and twisted smile.

~Drill Chase stops as Pirate Shop starts again~

"Ooh! I think I found some sauce right here!" Wario, who was on top of the closest shelf, said, digging through it to get to the spaghetti sauce. Once the jar was in plain sight, Wario reached out for it, but the glass container of sauce spontaneously grew wings and flew right off the shelf.

"Waa! It's like a bird or something!" Waluigi exclaimed.

"Yeah, this little thing is like a bird!" Crazy said, referring to the Banana Bird in the palm of his hand as he, Anna, and Zigzagoon approached.

"Nah, this thing's a flying sauce or something!" the lanky weirdo said as Wario grabbed a far less lively jar of spaghetti sauce right as Papyrus, Fat Mario, and Gay Luigi arrived at the sceen.

"This store's all out of meat and noodles!" Papyrus informed the rest of the gang.

"Darn! Let's pay for the sauce and leave then!" Wario said, leaping down from the shelf before the gang ran right over to the checkout.

"One jar of spaghetti sauce costs one dollar and one cent," the robot with a noodle-y arm running the checkout said in a quite, robotic voice.

"Leave this to me, fellas," Fat Mario said. The chubby plumber dug into his pockets, pulled out one dollar, handed it to the robot, pulled out a single, shiny penny, and let the robot pinch onto the single cent.

~Pirate Shop stops~

"But wait, ain't that one of Wendy's pennies?" Gay Luigi asked, noticing the smug face and large eyebrows on the penny. But it was too late, for the robot had already pinched the penny.

And the penny pinched back with two teeny-tiny copper "fingers".

"SWEETMOTHEROFALLTHATISBLESSEDAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHH!" the robot screeched in a rather non-robotic voice, enormous pain flowing through every single last part of its body. Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, Anna, Zigzagoon, and Papyrus leaped out of the way just before the robot blew up, resulting in an explosion powerful enough to send Fat Mario and Gay Luigi flying out of the store to lands unknown to man.

"... Well that happened," Wario remarked.

"Thank you for your purchase..." the robot muttered before dying.

"And now we get to leave!" the yellow moron said. The remaining gang rushed on out of the store, but before they could get back to the Wario Car and Papyrus's red car, a long fishing rod with a large hook swooped in, hooked around the jar of sauce, and flew right back into the store. "Waa! The sauce!"

~It's A Trap! from Paper Mario: The Thousand-Year Door starts to play~

"Buh huh huh! Excellent!" Lord Crump, the one who wielded the fishing rod, cackled, taking the sauce from the hook.

"Hey! That round man stole our sauce!" Papyrus cried out.

"That Lord Chump loser again? Are you kidding me?!" Wario groaned.

"No, his name is Dr. Pootis! Dr. Pootis, give us our sauce back!" Crazy demanded.

"Mindless simpletons! I told you already, the name's Lord Crump! Not that stupid Dr. Pootis name! And no, I'm not giving this sauce back! I didn't build a store just to let people actually buy stuff from it! I built it so that people will try to buy my stuff, only for me to take it away from them once they pay! This sauce will be forever mine! And it'll have forever twenty-one percent sodium in it too!"

"Why you little!" Waluigi growled. He and Wario ran as fast as their legs could carry them back to the store, back the doors shut tight right before they could get their hands on Lord Crump and the sauce, thus causing them to slam face-first into the metallic doors.

~It's A Trap! stops~

"Ow... stupid metal doors... even stupider, cheating loser..." Wario muttered before the brothers leaped off the metal doors.

"Now what're we gonna do about the sauce?" Anna wondered.

"I say make him go through intense and perplex puzzles until he hands the sauce over!" Papyrus suggested.

"Nah, I know what we need to do! We need to shoplift the sauce back!" Wario growled.

"Are we gonna post about this on the shoplifting reddit afterwards?" Crazy asked, spazzing a bit.

"Can't, we got banned from that place for stealing from that dump," Waluigi informed the hand.

"Enough talk! It's time to do some shopliftin'!" Wario said.

~Battle Ring from Wario World starts to play~

Wario cracked his knuckles real quick before he lifted the entire store off the ground and over his head. Just seconds after the lift, the metallic doors opened up.

"What in the name of the moon is go-" Lord Crump questioned until he glanced downward. "AH! WHAT'S UP WITH THIS MADNESS?!"

"Your store's the only thing that's up, loser! Now hand us our sauce back!" Wario demanded, struggling just the slightest bit to keep the store over his head.

"Buh! Never! Now put me down!"

"Shake it! Shake the store!" Waluigi suggested.

"Excellent idea! Waa haa!" Wario jumped up and down, causing the ground to shake and all of the items in It's Not A Trap to fall off the shelves.

"I'm not going to g-give in! Never! Now leave!" the weirdo made of paper demanded, struggling to avoid falling out of the store.

"Let me lift the shop!" Crazy insisted. The giant hand of insanity flew over and lifted the store even higher up, all the way up into the clouds.

"GAH! NO! CEASE! UNCLE! I GIVE UP! JUST TAKE YOUR JAR ALREADY!" the X-Naut begged. He grabbed the jar of sauce and chucked it...

~Battle Ring stops~

... letting it fall back down while a beating heart could be heard. The jar fell in slow motion, slowly phasing through clouds on its descent.

... Yet Wario was tapping his feet, Waluigi was glancing at his watch, Anna was reading "How To Get Rich With Memes", Zigzagoon was painting a picture of a T-Posing Hugh Neutron on the parking lot, and Papyrus was driving his car around in a circle. All events occurring at regular speed.

"What's taking so long?!" Wario wondered.

... And only then did the spaghetti sauce jar fall down at a sudden high speed, landing safe and sound on Snorlax's belly as the large Pokémon relaxing next to the Wario Car.

"And done!" Crazy squealed, flying next to the rest of the gang just seconds before It's Not A Trap crashed right back down where it was supposed to be.

"Yeah, now what are we gonna do about the meat and noodles?" Waluigi wondered as Papyrus grabbed the jar.

"I guess we gotta use the old noodle," Anna said.

"The old noodle? Where's that at?" Crazy wondered.

"In our skulls," Wario said. In response, a surgical knife spontaneously appeared in Crazy Hand's handy hand.

"Wario, Waluigi, everyone, before I do this, I need to let you know I'm not certified to do this, and I'm only a certified Nintendo character and soon to be certified member of the SpongeBob SquarePants Fan Club located in Encino, Californ-"

"No Crazy, the old noodles are just our brains. They aren't actual noodles," Anna pointed out.

"Why don't you guys just head to Wal Mar-" Snorlax tried to suggest, only to be drowned out by Wario's idea.

"Wait! Let's head to the noodle and meat factory just a few blocks away!"

"Yeah!" the rest of the gang replied. They all took off in the Wario Car and Papyrus's car in a flash, leaving Snorlax behind.

"... That works too," Snorlax muttered.


Speaking of said noodle and meat factory, Sayori and Natsuki were standing in front of it.

"So where did you get that picture of that Tails kid saying "Who's your daddy" then?" Sayori asked.

"Some maniacal green thing gave it to me the day before that large fight where those stupid brothers had their spider friend attack me. You and the others were in the apartment while I was at Hot Topic. That maniac came in, claimed it came from the future, I asked for proof, and WHAM! Stupid moron slapped that picture right in my face! And I didn't even get a chance to throttle them before they left, cackling about cursing the world with something called Tide Pods. Think the dimwit even said it was the "picture of innocence" or something. At least that freak was less annoying than that edgy angel that around that Hot Topic dump..." Natsuki answered.

"Outta the way, losers!" Wario commanded, both cars heading straight for the two girls. Sayori and Natsuki barely succeeded at getting to safety before the two cars quickly parked and all of the crew made their way towards the factory's front entrance.

"Ugh... those two again! Hate them almost as much as I hate my dad..." Natsuki growled just as the gang went inside.

"Alright, where's the manager of this joint?" Wario pondered.

"That'd be me. The random Koopa Troopa with no other purpose," the Koopa Troopa manager answered. "What do you want?"

"Nyeh! We're here fo-"

"Zigzagoon, where are you going?" Crazy asked as the little Pocket Monster kept leaping over towards the depths of the factory. The rest of the gang followed, trampling over the Koopa Troopa manager.

"What's he all up in arms about?" Waluigi asked. Zigzagoon soon stopped in the room where all the meat was processed, staring at the work being done below.

"Ooh, I think he was just to excited to see the meats! And I don't blame him!" Crazy said. "Especially with this fresh scent flowing through here. This is the scent of an anti-vegan zone alright!"

"I dunno, they might come here to eat those guys," Waluigi said as he pointed towards two working Vileplumes down below.

"So... are we gon-" Anna muttered.

"Yeah, we'll get the meat and noodles, right now!" Wario replied. But before they could even take a single step forward, the Lakitu that got attacked by Fred the Fish so much when Sonic was kidnapped by Sanic came out of nowhere.

~The math theme from Baldi's Basics In Education And Learning starts to play~

"Now kids, what should Wario, Waluigi, and all their friends do to get their meat and noodles?" the Lakitu asked while facing the screen. "Should they ask politely, scream at the top of the-"

~The math theme stops~

And then Wario, Waluigi, and Crazy Hand started screeching as they leaped over the railings and fell down, forcing Zigzagoon, Anna, and Papyrus to follow.

"Of course I don't even get the chance to finish. Sorry kids, can't teach you life lessons today I guess," Lakitu said. That's when Fred showed up, breaking through the roof.

"Tatsumaki Senpukyaku!" Fred screamed, preforming the iconic spinning kick on the poor Lakitu.

~The unused Meat Factory track from Undertale starts to play~

Meanwhile, Waluigi just landed on a conveyor belt face-first.

"Waa..." Waluigi muttered, lifting his head...

~Meat Factory stops as Killer On The Run (A) by Gregor Narholz starts~

... finding a giant machine built for flattening the meat ahead, the conveyor belt slowly taking him towards it.

"WAA! GIANT MEAT BEATER THING!" the lanky moron cried out, leaping back onto his two legs.

"Where?" Snake, who poked his head out alongside the belt as Waluigi tried to run away from the machine, asked before looking at the machine. "Oh. That's a disappointing one. Unless you're a masochist."

"Someone help!" Waluigi begged. His lanky legs only moved so fast, barely allowing the moron to move away from the meat beater of doom. "I'm too much of an online celebrity to die!"

"Does that mean he's one of those verified users on Twitter?" one of the Vileplume workers asked another Vileplume.

"He probably is! And those maniacs should suffer for ruining the site!" the other Vileplume yelled. She pulled on a nearby lever, causing the belt's speed to rise.

"No, please! Slow it down!" Waluigi cried out. Determined to stay alive, a mysterious power flowed through his legs, enabling him to finally move ahead at a decent pace.

"This sure is a nice exercise!" Larry the Lobster remarked, running just fast enough to stay in the same spot. Waluigi leaped over the buff lobster before racing down the rest of the belt. "Hey Waluigi! Bye Waluigi!" Waluigi just kept running ahead, focusing on all the other obstacles he had to leap over, such as a large heap of meat, a Bob-omb, a sign that read "Super Waluigi Run", and the Death Egg Robot before he suddenly came across an important realization.

"Oh yeah, I can just jump off," Waluigi said.

~Killer On The Run (A) stops~

And thus he did just that, leaping off conveniently next to the rest of the gang, who already had the meat and noodles.

"Ooh, looks like your legs got ripped from the run," Wario pointed out. Waluigi looked down and found that Wario was right. Waluigi's new beefy legs were barely even contained within his pants, desperately trying to break free.

"Wow, and all it took was a near death experience," Waluigi added. As everyone else admired Waluigi's legs, a Weavile sluggishly moved right up to the legs of beefiness... and gave the left one the tiniest poke with her claws. And thus, Waluigi's legs deflated back to their usual selves.

"... Well that sucks," Crazy muttered.

"WHO CARES WHEN WE CAN MAKE SPAGHETTI?!" Papyrus screeched with joy, followed by everyone sans Zigzagoon squealing like children.


The gang returned back to Wario and Waluigi's house, finally ready to make lotsa spaghetti to kill people with. Sandshrew and Sandslash watched from one of the windows as the gang stood in the kitchen.

"So... who here knows how to cook spaghetti?" Papyrus asked.

"Uh... I know a little bit," Anna answered.

"I know about the part the pan before you swing the pan at people," Wario added.

"I know about every single last episode of SpongeBob," Crazy stated.

"Well then! It sounds like I'll need to teach you the basics!" Papyrus cackled.

~Shaberu! DS Cooking Navi from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts to play~

"First things first! We must beat the meat a bit before we start the actual cooking!" Papyrus informed the gang, placing the meat on a cutting board.

"Waa! I know just the perfect way to beat it!" Wario cackled. He grabbed a giant beet and carved it into the shape of a sledge hammer by eating away parts of it.

"No cross-contamination! Even if we're not going to eat the spaghetti... well, most of the spaghetti," Papyrus demanded. Wario sighed and chucked the beet hammer to the side.

"Well, if beet hammers are off the table, then my fists will be!" Wario said. The fat plumber leaped onto the table and started pummeling the meat to death that comes after death until the meat was ripped to bits and as flat as Mr. Game & Watch.

"Excellent! You're almost as good as me! Now then, we need to start cooking the meat in a pan," the skeleton chef of high standards stated.

"Ooh, seems like we only got three pans here," Crazy pointed out, staring at the three pans. Two of them looked normal, while the last one had Peter Griffin's face where the food is supposed to be placed while cooking.

"Hey Lois, check it out! I'm a pan! Freaking sweet!" the Peter pan said.

"Ew, it talks," the giant hand complained.

"Yeah, and it sounds awful. Luigi's voice sounds better than that," Waluigi added, glaring at the pan.

"Don't worry, I'll fix this pan," Crazy said. Waluigi backed off as Crazy made that finger gun pose, charging up powerful energy at his index finger's tip.

"No, wait! Don't shoot!" the Peter pan begged, only for Crazy to unleash a beam of blue energy onto the irritating talking pan. Once the beam was gone, so was the Peter face, leaving behind a regular pan.

"There! Good as dead!" Crazy proudly said.

"Let's use that one since it isn't possessed by a demon anymore," Anna said. Waluigi took the pan and placed it on the cooktop, letting Papyrus turn on the heat. Finally, Wario placed all the meat in the pan.

"Good! Now, as I stir the meat around the pan, you five can wait a bit before we start getting the noodles ready!" Papyrus said.

"And I know just how to kill the time!" Crazy claimed, wielding one of the unused frying pans. "I'll use this frying pan as a notifying pan!"


Five Minutes Of Notifications Later...

"And now it's time to start the noodles!" Papyrus exclaimed. "We'll need a pot for them!"

"Welp, looks like that pot of fool's gold I stole from Mario will have some use after all!" Wario said, lifting the pot over his head and placing it on the cooktop.

"Good! Now we need to add water to the pan!" Papyrus informed.

"Tap or bottled?" Waluigi asked.

"What about spring water?" Wario added.

"I got some prehistoric water, let's use that!" Crazy suggested, shaking a cup of ancient, dirty water.

"Wario, you already put water in the pot," Anna informed the moron.

"Oh yeah. Hehe," Wario giggled.

"Then we can add the noodles!" Papyrus said.

"On it!" Crazy said, getting ready to throw a noodle. "HeeYAA!" The giant hand then chucked the stiff noodle like a javelin, with the noodle managing to land in the boiling pot.

"Waa! You'll get into the Olympics for sure with that skill!" Waluigi said.

"Yeah, but we don't need to put the noo-" Anna tried to say, only for Crazy to start speaking over her.

"Don't worry, I didn't plan on putting these noodles in by any other way." Crazy started chucking the rest of the noodles, all of them landing in the steaming pot. But the very last noodle would be thrown by someone other than Crazy...

"Fall, so that others may live!" Silas yelled, chucking the final noodle... right into Papyrus's left eye.

"Hmm... it appears that I have lost eyesight in one eye," the skeleton remarked before pulling the noodle out. "There, much better."

~Shaberu! DS Cooking Navi stops~

"Silas, what are you doing here? And how did you even get here?" Anna questioned the Nohrian cavalier... but instead of responding, he just slowly vanished.

"Well that happened. Oh well, let's finish our cooking!" Papyrus said with glee.

~Can You Really Call This A Hotel, I Didn't Receive A Mint On My Pillow Or Anything from Undertale starts to play~

"Now we need to add the sauce onto the meat!"

"On it!" Anna said, dumping every last drop of sauce on the meat.

"There! Now we just need to cut up some vegetables, add them to the meat and sauce, and then we can just wait for everything to finishing cooking!" Papyrus exclaimed.

"I got the vegetables!" Waluigi said as he placed all the veggies and a good amount of tomatoes on the table.

"And I got some knives!" Wario added. "Let's start slicing and dicing!"

"I'm still not certified to do stuff with knives but OK," Crazy said as Wario handed everyone a knife. Wario started cutting up carrots, Waluigi was crying as he sliced some onions while an Assist Trohpy came out of nowhere and floated over him, Crazy mindlessly diced tomatoes, Anna cut up some bell peppers, and Papyrus sliced some celery.

~Can You Really Call This A Hotel, I Didn't Receive A Mint On My Pillow Or Anything stops~

But Zigzagoon didn't stick around inside. Instead, he was sitting outside, a pile of assorted veggies in front of him in a bowl, a katana in his mouth, and his eyes closed shut.

~Path Of The Hero-King from Fire Emblem Fates starts to play~

Suddenly, Ariados came out of nowhere and knocked the veggies into the air. Zigzagoon leaped up and made a clean slice through some tomatoes, dashed over to where some carrots were about to fall and sliced them as well, before doing the same with every other vegetable, all of the sliced veggies landing back in the bowl as Zigzagoon sliced some more.

~Path Of The Hero-King stops~

And soon enough, all of Zigzagoon's veggies were sliced and diced. Zigzagoon, not even sweating the tiniest bit, wondered back inside with the katana in his mouth, with Ariados carrying the bowl and veggies on her back.

"Seems like we're all done! I'll just dump all of the veggies in with the me-" Papyrus said just before a loud quake and shake interrupted him.

~Event - Tension from Sonic Rivals starts to play~

Everyone peeked outside after Wario opened the door a bit, finding a somewhat large robot in Lord Crump's likeness standing not too far from the house.

"Buh huh huh! Guess who's ready to get his revenge!" Lord Crump cackled within his robot. "Revenge for that time within that stupid game, and for what you did earlier today!"

"Will you buzz off, loser?! I'm tired of you and your stupid face, so if you don't get out of here, I'll rip your face off and rearrange it so it looks like those inappropriate faces on Miis!" Wario howled.

"Oh no you won't! This new mech and my new ally will bring you down before you can do any rearranging!" Crump cackled. Natsuki, armed with metallic gloves, leaped out of the robot and landed right between Crump and the house.

"Yeah, you guys are gonna get flattened! Right here, right now!" the feisty girl added.

"Hey, Papyrus? You stick back and make sure that spaghetti gets done cooking. This shouldn't take long," Waluigi commanded.

"Nyeh! With pleasure!" Papyrus ran back to the kitchen as Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, Anna, Zigzagoon, and Ariados stepped outside.

~Event - Tension stops as Final Destination (Ver. 2) from Super Smash Bros. For 3DS/ Wii U starts~

Wario's crew lunged forward, and so did Natsuki, though Lord Crump's robot stayed put. Crazy flew at the robot, but a mysterious beam came out of the robot's left arm, freezing the giant hand.

"Buh huh huh! I threw that paralyzer beam together in just a few minutes just for you, big guy!" Crump cackled as Crazy tried to spaz his way out of his imprisonment.

"Let him go, loser!" Wario demanded, charging for Crump and his robot. But right before the yellow dimwit could lay a single dent in the robot, Natsuki gave a heavy punch to Wario's left side, sending him flying into the cliff face.

"No body hurts my brother li-" Waluigi growled before Natsuki did the same to him. Anna then slammed into Natsuki, knocking the pink haired girl to the ground. Natsuki got up as soon as she could and found Ariados right in front of her, a glimmer of anger hidden within the Pokémon's eyes.

"YOU! I HATE YOU!" Natsuki shrieked, ready to crush Ariados into the ground with her metallic fist. Ariados barely dodged, resulting in Natsuki punching the ground instead. Ariados then used the move Lunge, knocking Natsuki right back down again.

"BUH HUH HUH!" Lord Crump cackled, watching Crazy's struggle. "It's funny, seeing you trying to wriggle free with no chance of escape!" Lord Crump then turned his attention over to Zigzagoon, who was trying his hardest to slice the robot apart with his katana. "And then there's your stupid friend who's just as useless but just as funny!"

"Take that back! Zigzagoon's not stupid!" Crazy demanded.

"Says you!" Crump said, staring at the hand again. He then turned back to where Zigzagoon once stood, only to find the Pokémon to be missing. "Huh? Where is that little Tanooki thing? Where'd he g-" Suddenly, Lord Crump felt something tap his back, so he turned around... and found Zigzagoon right behind him. "GAH! NO, STAY AWAY, SAMURAI TANOOKI DEMON!" Zigzagoon then began to chase Lord Crump around in the mech's cockpit as Natsuki continued to brawl with Anna and Ariados and while Wario and Waluigi dizzily wandered back to the house.

"Waa... I'm seeing stars... Nintendo all-stars..." Waluigi groaned.

"Same here... especially the biggest all-stars of all, you, me, Anna..." Wario added. Papyrus dashed right out of the house, Dinner Blaster in hand, and shook the two brothers back to reality.

"The spaghetti's done, and I even filled up this blast thing of yours!" Papyrus said, handing the Dinner Blaster to Wario.

"Ah yeah! Now those losers are done for!" the fat man cackled, aiming the Dinner Blaster at Crump's robot. Zigzagoon, dashing by the cockpit's window, managed to catch a glimpse of Wario aiming the Dinner Blaster, gasped, and then suddenly vanished, as though he teleported.

"Huh?! WHERE'D YOU GO, VERMIN?!" Lord Crump demanded to know, quickly searching every spot in the cockpit. However, Zigzagoon reappeared beside the Wario Bros. and Papyrus.

~Final Destination (Ver. 2) stops~

"GET COOKED, LOSER CRUMP!" Wario shouted. The Dinner Blaster's trigger was pulled, the spaghetti was shot out with extreme force, and within seconds, the spaghetti punctured right through Crump's mech as though it was nothing. The paralyzer beam stopped working, freeing Crazy, seconds before the robot blew up.

"NOOOOO! NOW YOU'VE GOT THREE THINGS TO PAY FOR, WARIO BROTHERS AND FRIENDS! AND YOU WILL PAY SOMEDAY!" Crump screeched, flying out of sight in seconds. Everyone froze, staring at the charred remains of the mech.

"... I'll be back, idiots," Natsuki informed before running off.

"Well, now that we have that out of the way, let's go eat some of the leftover spaghetti!" Papyrus said. Everybody headed back inside, stretching their bodies and wiping the dirt off of them.

~Death Egg Zone from Sonic The Hedgehog 2 starts to play~

And once everyone was inside, Tails Doll came out of the hole Crazy had left in the cliff a few days earlier before Sanic kidnapped him.

"Just a bit longer, Tails Doll," Dr. Eggman's voice rang within the robotic doll's head. "I'll send a small stealth group led by Metal Sonic once it's time."

Chapter Text

Episode 23: Dr. Eggman's Death Egg Tour

NOVEMBER 29th, 2016

~Azalea Town from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

Waluigi was slumbering, dreaming about standing in the middle of Azalea Town, with him, Wario, Falco, all of Azalea's Slowpoke, and the Guy Who Moves His Head, well, moving their heads from side to side for some reason. The Slowpoke would occasionally yawn as the weirdos just kept moving their heads.

~Azalea Town stops as Sanic's Theme starts~

Suddenly, the sky turned a dark blue, with tons of clouds blocking out the sun. Wario, Waluigi, and Falco stopped moving their heads and turned around, finding a random old man on the roof of Azalea's Pokémon Center before Weegee arrived and used the Weegee Virus to turn the old man into a clone of Weegee, a naked, polygonal Mario doing the Banana Bus dance while somehow moving around Kurt's house, Dark Pit and Lucas drinking Capri-Sun in front of the Pokémon Center, and Dorcas smashing the bloody remains of the Hungry Pumkin in front of the Poké Mart. But worst of all, a giant Sanic loomed over the town.

... But even worse than that was when Weegee stared into Sanic's eyes, spreading the Weegee Virus again, transforming Sanic into a fusion of himself and Weegee!1!

~Sanic's Theme stops~

"WAAAAA! NO!" Waluigi shrieked, ending the dream there while waking up Wario, Crazy Hand, Anna... and Falco, Duck Hunt Dog, and Malleo?

"Wally, what's with the screaming?!" Wario wondered.

"Bad dream... featuring a fusion of Weegee and Sanic," the lanky plumber answered.

"That's worse than just a bad dream," Falco stated. "The only dream that could be worse than that would be involving the Bread God dying."

"Wait, Falco? Duck Hunt Dog? Malleo?! What are you guys doing here? And... and where even is here?!" Anna wondered. Everyone glanced around the room, taking note of the metallic, high-tech walls, the oil on the floor, the two sets of mechanical doors, and the logos of a certain mad scientist all over.

"Hmm... after analyzing our location and situation, it seems we are in... the middle of a dump!" Malleo gleefully said. The back doors of the room suddenly opened up as a metallic cart flew in. Several robotic arms came out of the cart, grabbed everyone, forced them to sit in the cart as they tried to wiggle free, and the cart held everyone down with metallic bands before the cart flew out the room through the other doors.

"What's this stupid thing doing?!" Wario demanded to know.

~Dr. Eggman's theme from Sonic Adventure starts to play~

"Ahahaha! Welcome, weirdos and idiots!" Dr. Eggman, the man with the master plan, cackled, approaching them in his Egg Mobile. "Especially you, giant hand. I figured we'd meet again after our encounter at Green Hill, though my estimated date was a little off."

"Who're you, bub?! And why are we here?!" Wario growled.

"Wait! That's Dr. Robotnik! I'm finally meeting Dr. Robotnik! Cool!" Malleo squealed to the concern of everyone else in the cart.

"Yes, I am the glorious Dr. Eggman-Ivo Robotnik! But for you fools with puny brains, you can just call me Dr. Eggman! You two, the two ugly morons with the ugly mustaches, are here for revenge! You two left me to drown in the oil back in Oil Ocean Zone just a few days ago while you were flying on some reptile! I barely got out of that place alive and in one piece! You even said my cries for help sounded like "a fat crybaby that's as fragile as an egg!", you pathetic vermin!"

"And I say he made a very accurate description of your cries, judging from the look of things," Duck Hunt Dog remarked.

"Shut up or else I'll make mince meat out of you! I'll even let your minced meat just rot... mostly because hardly one wants to eat dog, human, or giant hand that may be potentially demonic," Eggman said.

"At least I'd taste good!" Falco exclaimed.

"Yeah, speaking of you and your taste, after my tour I was planning on sending you to some redhead I met at that Pherae place just a few hours ago who said he wanted to cook you and eat you. At least that's what I think he said," Eggman replied.

"Tour?! What tour?!" Anna questioned.

"Oh yes! The main reason why I brought you all here! I nearly forgot!" Eggman said as a hole in the ceiling opened up.

~Dr. Eggman's theme stops as Tropical Resort - Act 2 starts~

"You're all here for Dr. Eggman's Death Egg Tour!" the mad scientist cackled, a bright sign with the words "Dr. Eggman's Death Egg Tour" made out of neon lights coming out of the hole.

"You mean the rest of us are just here for a stupid tour?!" Duck Hunt Dog complained.

"I said to stop insulting me, pup!" Eggman demanded. "And don't even try to escape! We're floating in space, so unless you can drive one of my advanced ships, you're trapped! All any attempt at escape will bring is your death!"

"Grrr..." Wario growled, still trying to break free.

"Now then, we just need to wait for a few other cargo carts to bring everyone else I kidnapped for the tour to begin!" Eggman said with glee.


~Tropical Resort - Act 2 stops~

Zigzagoon and Ariados were still at Wario and Waluigi's house. Zigzagoon kept staring out the front window, waiting for at least Crazy to come back, while Ariados watched the news on the TV.

"And this just in, we have a report claiming even Marth has gone missing," the news reporter, a Chatot, said. "We can't confirm nor deny that one at the time, but we'll be sure to bring the truth once it comes in." Ariados grew more and more worried as the reports of missing people kept coming in, but that worry faded a bit when Zigzagoon started barking. Ariados leaped on over, glaring out the window...

~There's Trouble from Pokémon Mystery Dungeon: Red/ Blue Rescue Team starts to play~

... finding that Weegee and Dr. Wily were marching up to the house. Zigzagoon and Ariados raced outside, ready to deal with Weegee however they could.

"What's with the raccoon and the spider?" Wily wondered.

"Oh, I recognize that raccoon. It's basically Crazy Hand's stupid pet," Weegee reminded his scientist ally. "Speaking of that damn hand, where the hell is he?! And where's my brother?! I know you and your fucking worthless friends have something to do with his disappearance, so fess up! What'd you do to Malleo?! Did you just decide to have a play date in the middle of the night without telling me? Or did you decide to kidnap him?! If you did, you will perish for that! He'd be heart broken for life, knowing his supposed frien-"

~There's Trouble stops~

"Now hold on a minute here," a familiar voice said before the owner of the voice, Sans, leaped down from the roof. "This Malleo person... looks like that Mario guy, right? And he loves Sonic games?"

"Yeah, you've seen him?" Weegee asked.

"Yep. I was chilling by this very house last night when Malleo came along, saying about how excited he was to get his friends on a surprised play date all about playing Sonic games. Thing is, right before Malleo knocked on the door, some blue robot thing knocked him out cold and threw him into some weird cart thing. I even took a photo... I was a bit too lazy to do anything else, honestly," Sans answered, handing a picture of Metal Sonic attacking Malleo to Weegee.

"Wait... that blue robot looks just like that one who hung around that fat scientist guy who got mad at me for leaving him out of that tournament during auditions... Damn it!" Weegee cursed.

"You mean the one who played that one song he claimed he wrote for himself?" Wily asked Weegee.

"Yeah, and I hated that song. It was extremely narcissistic for someone who's nothing trash. Now, if he wrote something like that for me, it'd fit me perfectly."

"Hey, I liked that song! It was catchy and memetic! Aside from that DK Rap, I've never heard anything better!" Wily argued.

"Uh, hate to break up the conversation here, but you mind if finish?" Sans asked. "Anyways, more robots showed up afterwards and took everyone in the house too while muttering something about some station in space. I'm shocked they didn't find me and take me away. Oh well. Good luck finding your brother and whatnot. I've got a skele-ton of other things to do, like being lazy," Sans then spun right into the ground like a drill, causing small quakes throughout Wario's Gold Mine.

"... I don't know why, but I hate that skeleton guy," Weegee muttered.


~Street Scene by Robert Farnon starts to play~

Eggman slowly flew through the Death Egg in his Egg Mobile, with three of his mechanical carts behind him. Wario and Waluigi and company's cart was the first of the bunch, Lucario sat in the one behind them while sandwiched between two Thwomps, and Marth and Snake sat in the last cart.

"And we're now passing by my giant window to the outside space surrounding us," Eggman pointed out. "Ah space. So huge, so wondrous, and most importantly, so lifeless. Lifeless just like the depths of a volcano, a city after nuclear war, and most of my robots! Especially my robots."

"You know what else is lifeless? This pointless, time wasting, pathetic tour," a squished Lucario rightfully complained. "I'd rather be lifeless than go through this tour any longer."

"Shut up! I've already had to tell you to shut it twice now! One more time and I'll..." Eggman growled.

"You'll take him to the old ball game only to throw him right back out?" Malleo asked.

"I... huh. That's not a bad idea actually," the fat man muttered.

~Street Scene stops as Bogmire Battle from Luigi's Mansion starts~

"Is that the best you can do?" Marge Simpson, who appeared out of thin air, said in a nigh lifeless voice.

"AAH! NOT YOU AGAIN!" Eggman cried out. As if on cue, Metal Sonic arrived and sliced Marge in half with his claws, somehow causing Marge's remains to turn to dust before flying around the Death Egg.

~Bogmire Battle stops~

"Finally that demon is dead! Thank you, Metal Sonic!" Eggman said to his robot. "For your incredible bravery and beautiful murder, I will buy you a new bicycle with training wheels and a little bell for you!"

"I don't need nor want anymore tacky, childish possessions," Metal Sonic complained.

"Ha! And your sarcasm is so good too!" Eggman claimed.

"Yes, I was just being sarcastic about the toys. Just sarcasm," the blue robot muttered.

"Just Monika," Malleo randomly said.

"Don't worry, I'll get the bike as soon as I'm done with the tour. Speaking of..."

~Street Scene starts again~

"Let's get things back on track!" Eggman and the mechanical carts started moving forward again, this time with Metal Sonic tagging along... before they stopped just a few seconds later in front of a capsule containing the same human that complained about Chrom, Vaike, and Corrin's presence back during the brawl with the shadowy creatures during the Shepherds's visit. "Here we have some random idiot I found on the moon a few days ago! I don't know what to do with him. He might just sit there for the rest of his life."

"You! Yellow moron! Remember me?! I'm the guy you sent off into space before just because I had a different opinion!" the human lied.

"Wario, you know this guy?" Anna asked.

"I wish I didn't know such a dumb liar," Wario replied.

"I'm not lying! You shot me with that blaster of yours just because I didn't like the Fire Emblem characters you were fighting with and because you used that awful pair-up mechanic!"

"Fire Emblem characters? So if I was there, you would've been happier?" Marth inquired.

"Eh, you'd be better, but sane people like me would've preferred Ike," the human said.

"OK, enough talking about some Fire Emblem with a crazy liar, let's move on," Eggman demanded, everyone slowly moving forward again... for just a few seconds. Again. This time stopping in front of two glass capsules with a metal pipe connecting the two at the top. Inside one capsule was Nina from Nohr, and in the other was an Arcanine.

"Ooh, what's this thing, Dr. Eggman?" Malleo asked.

"This, Malleo, is an invention I got from some yellow skinned guy with an N on his forehead who said he stole it from some guy named Bill. Allow me to show you all what it does," Eggman answered before pressing a button on a remote control, starting up the machine. Electricity blinded everyone's sight except Metal Sonic but he didn't care about all the morbid things he saw the machine do. Once the machine had finished its job, the electricity died down and revealed that the capsule that contained Nina was empty, with the Arcanine now having Nina's hair on its head.

"Someone help! I've been turned into an anime reference!" the Nina-Arcanine fusion cried out.

"Ah, beautiful. Nothing pleases me more than the suffering of others," Eggman sighed.

"Yeah, I enjoyed seeing her suffering too. Stupid Fates bitch," the annoying human in the other capsule said.

"On second thought I hate this. I'm changing them back," the fat man said, pressing the button again, letting the machine undo what it had done.

"Fuck you, Eggman!" the human whined.

"That's it! I've had to deal with your whining for days, and I'm going to take you back to the moon and bury you alive there once this tour is over with!" Eggman angrily said.

"But what about Metal Sonic's b-" Malleo said before Metal Sonic sped over and "shushed" right in Malleo's face.

"Anyways, more with the tour!" Eggman said with delight, everyone moving along AGAIN. "Oh, by the way, I know I forced you all on this grand tour of mine, but I'm still going to make you all pay a good amount of cash for this."

~Street Scene stops with a record scratch~

"You're gonna make us pay what?!" Wario growled as anger began to flow through his, Waluigi, and Anna's bodies.

"Cash. At least like twenty-five bucks a pop," Eggman answered, looking ahead.

"It's a good thing I'm the only one who brought a pop," Malleo answered before taking a sip of some edgy Purple Flurp.

"You... stupid..." Wario silently growled...

~Chaos Battle from Sonic Battle starts to play~

... before he and Anna broke the binds that kept them in the cart.

"YOU STUPID PUNK! ENOUGH'S ENOUGH!" Wario shouted. Before Eggman or Metal Sonic could retaliate, Anna dashed over and kicked the Egg Mobile down to the ground.

"We don't pay anywhere near that much for something we hate!" Anna added as Wario broke Waluigi's binds.

"Fools! You'll pay with your lives! Metal Sonic, stop them!" Eggman commanded. Metal Sonic obeyed by lunged for Anna, who countered by kicking the robot where his jaw would be as Wario and Waluigi freed everyone else in the first cart from the binds. Anna and Metal Sonic continued to duke it out, seemingly matched, even as Orbot, Cubot, Mecha Sonic, and a high amount of Egg Pawns arrived.

"Oh boy, is this a part of the tour, boss?!" Cubot excitedly asked.

"No it isn't, you lifeless, mindless freak! Now stop them!"

"Hmph. It's about time I had the chance to slaughter again," Mecha Sonic remarked. The taller Sonic robot dashed forward and kneed Anna right in the side of her stomach before she could sling some arrows at Metal Sonic. Anna flew down the hall, with no signs of slowing down.

"ANNA!" Wario screeched, running after her with Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Duck Hunt Dog, and Malleo by his side.

"Metal Sonic, Mecha Sonic, all you Egg Pawns! Hunt those fools down!" Eggman demanded after finally getting the Egg Mobile to float again.

"With pleasure," Mecha Sonic muttered, leading the charge after the runaways.

~Chaos Battle stops~

"Welp, those fools are doomed. Now then, on with the rest of this three day tour!" Eggman cackled as the Egg Mobile, Orbot, Cubot, and the two occupied carts moved along.


Anna finally stopped flying through the Death Egg as soon as she slammed into one of the metallic walls and fell to the ground. She managed to get right back up in the blink of an eye, just before the rest of the escapees showed up.

"Huh. I'd figure a crash with metal would hurt more," Anna stated.

"Stop right there, escapees!" a few Egg Pawns demanded...

~On The Edge... For Eternal Engine from Sonic Adventure 2 starts to play~

... before the Death Egg Robot came down from above between the Egg Pawns and the escapees.

"RUN FOR IT!" Duck Hunt Dog commanded. Everyone ran away from the giant robot as it lumbered towards them, letting the Egg Pawns lead the charge. Several Spikebonkers joined in the chase as well, throwing their boomerang-like maces at Wario and Waluigi's group. Soon enough, a rocket car large enough for the whole gang and then some, piloted by an Egg Robo, stopped right in front of the heroes.

"ALL BOARD FOR ESCAPE!" the traitorous Egg Robo squealed, letting the heroes on board before dashing off. The Egg Pawns and the Death Egg Robot stopped in their tracks, but the Spikebonkers continued their mace-throwing assault, barely missing the rocket car as it flew through the Death Egg. The chase continued as both parties rapidly approached a large, metal replica of Sonic's head.

"And this is the self-destruct button," a different Egg Robo within the giant Sonic head told a Clucker, a Grounder, and a Coconuts, all of them standing in front of a giant bottom that sat in the middle of the floor. "So whatever you do, don't touch it."

"I can touch it if I want!" the Clucker clucked. "Lemme touch it and see what happens!"

"Yeah, let's jump on it together!" the Grounder added.

"Ugh... I told Eggman it was a bad idea to let you three numskulls in charge of this sector. That's it, all three of you follow me, I'm not letting y-" the Egg Robo said before the rocket car ran it over, destroying it. The trio of remaining robots smirked at each other as the Spikebonkers chased after the rocket car.

"It's time! Hop on!" the Coconuts cackled. All three leaped onto the self-destruct button, causing a bright light to come from it.

"WARNING: THE SELF-DESTRUCT BUTTON FOR SECTOR IDIOT HEDGEHOG HAS BEEN ACTIVATED. SELF-DESTRUCT WILL OCCUR IMMEDIATELY" a generically robotic female voice said throughout the giant Sonic head just as the rocket car barely escaped. The giant head exploded, destroying all of the pursuing Spikebonkers. The somehow surviving heads of the Clucker, Scratcher, and Coconuts landed on the floor in front of the giant head's remains.

"Wonder why the Idiot Hedgehog Sector self-destructed?" the Scratcher wondered.

"Ooh, what a pretty explosion," Malleo muttered as he and Crazy stared at the burning remains.

"Reminds me of the big bang," Crazy said. The rocket car kept moving ahead at full speed, but weaved around the magnetic spike balls that fell from the ceiling of fluctuating magnetism. Once the rocket car got passed the spike balls, a giant, red Metal Sonic look-a-like came from out of nowhere and started firing bullets from its gaping mouth. The rocket car weaved around the bullets and, within just a few seconds later, the robotic monstrosity's claws. However, two Aero-Chasers flew in and sliced the giant robot's arms right off with their lasers, causing the giant monster to fly back to the darkest depths of the Death Egg. The Aero-Chasers flew off before the rocket car slowly drove into an elevator...

~On The Edge... For Eternal Engine stops as Happy Jose Ulrich Wenzel starts~

... before the elevator started going down. The Egg Robo had already gotten the rocket car to face the elevator's door again, but everyone else had gotten out of the rocket car.

"So... nice SpongeBob reference we got going on here. Pretty obscure reference, but I like it," Crazy said.

"This is a SpongeBob reference?" Wario asked his friend.

"Yep, a SpongeBob reference. Just like every other living second of our lives," the giant hand claimed. "Well, maybe anyways. I don't know."

"So Crazy, you think you could mail me some of that Canned Bread I heard you talking about the other day?" Falco wondered.

"Sure, as long as I can do it without dealing with Amazon about it. I hate that stupid river."

"Hey, Wario..." Anna started. "We've been in our relationship for... a few days now, like five or so. So I was thinking... how's about we take our relationship to the next level and have se-"

~Happy Jose stops~

But then the elevator opened and the Egg Robo drove the rocket car at full speed... right into a wall, destroying both the rocket car and themselves.

"... Well, I guess we should pay respects for him now," Duck Hunt Dog said. DHD and Anna put their hands over their hearts, but Wario, Waluigi, Crazy, and Malleo found a giant F on the wall. Thus, they all pressed their hands against the F instead.

"Oh hey, another glass window thing," Falco remarked, approaching the giant window to space. "Ooh, there's even a rocket out in space right now."

"Wait, what?!" Duck Hunt Dog said as everyone gathered around Falco... and found a Team Rocket grunt floating in space, waving at the escapees.

"... Is that guy supposed to help us get out of here?" Anna wondered.

"I think Falco was talking about that rocket over in the distance," Duck Hunt Dog said, pointing to a rocket ship with a lone astronaut outside the ship.

"No, I was talking about the guy," Falco replied.

"How're we gonna get their attention?" the merchant wondered.

"The old usual way, by banging on the window, screaming, and threatening to tell the world they're something they clearly aren't in the most desperate of ways," Wario suggested.

... And thus they did just that, with Crazy going as far as outright punching the somehow indestructible window.

"I REALLY wish I could find that fucking space station that skeleton was talking about," Weegee, who was actually the astronaut outside the rocket ship, muttered within his meme head. "And I wish I could hear something else besides my own thoughts right now."

"This isn't working!" Anna said, pointing out the obvious.

"Oh yeah, I forgot no one can hear you scream in space. Or make any noise in space," Duck Hunt Dog sighed.

"Nah, you can make noise, it's just that space is very selective with what noise is allowed," Waluigi claimed.

"Waa? Where'd you hear that?" Wario asked.

"In space."

"Oooh, looks like that egg robot thingy had a boombox back here in his car thingy!" Malleo said as he dragged the boombox over. "It even has a CD that only plays my favorite song on it! A real recognizable one, and one so majestic that no sane person could treat it as nothing more than a mere joke!"

"We got no other options so playitplayitplayit!" Falco demanded.

"Okie-dokie!" the meme said with glee as he turned the boombox on.

~Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley starts to play~

As soon as the song came on, all of the escapees started dancing along.

"Wait... THAT SONG? MALLEO'S FAVORITE SONG? IN SPACE?!" Weegee wondered out loud, turning to the Death Egg. "Albert! Turn this ship a solid forty-five degrees to the right! I've found that damn space station!"

"On it," Wily said, steering the ship as Zigzagoon and Ariados danced within the rocket ship. And thus the rocket ship blasted off for the Death Egg... but right behind Wily's ship were Master Hand, the rest of the Star Fox crew, Kirby and Meta Knight riding a Warp Star, and Samus's Gunship.

"Is that music coming from that giant round thing with bandages slapped all over it?" Master Hand inquired.

"Sounds like it. Should we approach the station?" Fox asked back.

"Yeah. Sounds like music Crazy would play on max volume at three in the morning, so that's probably where he is," the giant hand replied.

"I'm ready!" SpongeBob cheered within Samus's Gunship before the search party headed for the Death Egg as well.

... Back within the Death Egg, the escapees were still dancing, doing the Macarena with Carl Wheezer and Shaggy, both of which just showed up out of nowhere.

... And then Weegee teleported in, wondering what the hell was going on.

"... I don't even think I should ask," the evil meme muttered. "Whatever. Malleo, all of you idiots, stop dancing and follow me. I've got a rocket ship parked i-"

~Never Gonna Give You Up stops with a record scratch~

Everyone except Carl and Shaggy stopped dancing, turned to the boombox, and found that Metal Sonic had taken the disc out off the boombox, with an army of Egg Pawns behind him.

"It's about time one of you stupid robots showed up. Now I can finally tear you all limb by limb for kidnapping my brother, fucking wastes of metal," Weegee claimed.

"That's not going to happen," Metal Sonic claimed, crushing the CD into pieces. "But I'd like to see you tr-"

~Rail Canyon Zone from Sonic Heroes starts to play~

Weegee then proceeded to assault Metal Sonic with all he got. A lightning-fast flurry of punches, a hard backhanded punch that sent Metal Sonic to the wall with the elevator, a toss up to the ceiling, showing Metal Sonic a picture of Wario's butt, and a stomp right back down to the floor. All while the escapees and the Egg Pawns watched... aside from one Egg Pawn, who wrote "WWE Chapter 24 When" on the wall even though they didn't know what a "WWE" was.

"I hope you've said your goodbyes!" Weegee growled, pinning Metal Sonic down with his foot as the evil meme got ready to bring his axe down onto the blue robot's head. Before the decapitation could happen, Mecha Sonic slammed into Weegee's side, knocking the meme off of Metal Sonic.

"The only one who needs to say their goodbyes is y-" Mecha Sonic said. But Weegee didn't care and landed a flurry of even more powerful punches onto the taller Sonic robot before uppercutting him all the way through the ceiling of that floor... and right into a room of Bigboms, causing a massive explosion once Mecha Sonic made impact with one from below.

"I see an entrance up ahead!" Fox said as he and the rest of the rescue party zoomed past the giant window.

"I'm going in solo. If I don't come out soon, send backup!" Master Hand said before flying into the lone entrance to the Death Egg.

"Now what do we do? Just sit here and do nothing?" Peppy asked.

"Yeah, pretty mu-" Fox said before a laser from one of the Death Egg's exterior turrets nearly hit his Arwing. "On second thought, nevermind, dodge the lasers!" The rest of the search party did just that as more laser just kept coming.

"You think anything important is going on outside?" Waluigi asked as Weegee started attacking the Egg Pawns, letting the badly damaged Metal and Mecha Sonic to rot in pain.

"Not likely," Wario answered.

"Wait! Why are we just watching this fight instead of heading to the rocket ship Weegee was talking about?!" Duck Hunt Dog demanded to know.

"Because this fight is to awesome to miss out on!" Falco said, munching on some bread-flavored popcorn. Unfortunately for him and the rest of the escapees, Master Hand arrived at the scene and grabbed Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Malleo in one grab and took off with them, with Crazy, Duck Hunt Dog and Anna in hot pursuit. Once they left, Cubot led one of the remaining mechanical carts, with Lucario, the two Thwomps, Snake, Marth, Nina, and the Arcanine in it, through the army of Egg Pawns, running a lot of them over.

"This is the most fun I've ever had! I wish the boss would let me have fun like this more often!" Cubot chuckled as Lucario screamed from the high speed action. As quick as a flash, the two carts ran off in the same direction the escapees were headed. Just then, Orbot flew right by the window in a mini Egg Mobile and saw all the destruction Weegee was causing.

"Goodness! That's more bodies in one place than the amount of plans of Eggman's that actually worked," Orbot commented, heading over to the Death Egg's entrance. "Then again, one body would already be m-" Suddenly, Fox's Arwing just zipped by, causing Orbot to scream as his mini Egg Mobile went out of control.

"Judging from the looks of things, this thing's exterior weak points would be the eyes," Fox said to the rest of the rescue party. "I say we wait until we've saved everyone we need to save first, then we blast the eyes. Even if we don't go through with that plan though, we must not try to shoot at them now."

"Shoot at them now?" Patrick replied before he knocked Samus away from her gunship's controls.

"PAT NO!" SpongeBob demanded, even though Patrick blasted both the Death Egg's eyes with all the gunship's power.

~Rail Canyon Zone stops~


~Boss (Pinch) from Sonic Advance 2 starts to play~

"WAAAAAAA!" Wario yelled as he, Waluigi, Falco, and Malleo broke out of Master Hand's grasp. "RUN FOR YOUR MISERABLE LIVES!" Everyone else screamed at the top of their lungs as they ran as fast as their legs could take them, with Cubot and his cart catching up.

"Oh boy, the Death Egg's gonna blow! Hooray!" Cubot cheered.

"QUIT CHEERING YOU MINDLESS ROBOT AND GET ME OUT FROM THIS SPOT BETWEEN THESE LIVING ROCKS AND HARD PLACES!" Lucario demanded to no avail. Glass windows covered the top of the cart before Cubot drove the cart into space.

"Hurry up and get in!" Wily screeched as Wario and Waluigi and company drew near the rocket ship. Aside from the two hands, everyone bailed right in, with the two hands flying out the Death Egg.

"Time to fly this thing!" Wario said, diving into the pilot's seat of the ship.

"NO! MORONS LIKE YOU SH-" Wily tried to warn the idiot. But Wario didn't care and let the ship take off into space at high speed. Despite Wily's assumptions about Wario's capabilities, he managed to drive the ship with relative ease. In fact, Zigzagoon rose a sign that read "Better than when Wily was driving"... right next to a pile of vomit Wily spewed out of his ancient mouth earlier.

"Wait, what about Weegee?" Duck Hunt Dog wondered.

"Relax. Weegee can teleport long distances, remember? He's probably gotten off already anyways," Wily stated as the ship passed by the second giant window again... and no one noticed that Weegee was still trying to destroy the few left of Eggman's Egg Pawn army.

~Boss (Pinch) stops~

"YOU! I should've prepared for your arrival, you maniac of a meme!" Eggman's voice boomed throughout the hallway by the second window.

"You should've left me and my brother alone. That's what you should have done, dumbass," Weegee cursed.

"I wouldn't have done that if you just accepted me for the dumb tournament yesterday! You hurt my feelings, especially when you said my theme song sucked!"

"Cry me a damn river, you pussy."

"Quit using vulgar terms I somehow can use in the same vulgar term way you're using! Metal Sonic might hear!"

"If you're not a pussy, then show yourself and fight me, idiot!"

"Fine I will! All I need to do is press this button, and I will show you true pain!" A loud beep blared throughout the Death Egg, but Eggman didn't appear anywhere near Weegee. "Oops! That was the button that would send that maniac who blabbers about whatever a Fire Emblem is back to the moon! Oh well, he needed to go anyways. NOW I will press the right button!"


Another beep, still nothing.

"NO! That was the button for deleting my list of things to buy Metal Sonic for Christmas!" Eggman cried out. As the fat scientist continued to whine and press more of the wrong buttons, Weegee sighed and teleported out of the Death Egg and back inside the rocket ship.

"See, there he is," Wily said. With the rocket ship and the rescue party flying back to the Smash World, the death sound effect came from the Death Egg before the large space station fell like a rock back down to the Smash World... as Eggman screamed like an idiot.


"Man, what's taking so long?!" a Goomba yelled as she, Vaike, Niles, Caeda, and many others waiting in a field with Smashtopolis's outskirts.

"Wait! There they are!" the news reporter Chatot exclaimed, pointing at the sky.

~Ending Medley from Sonic Generations starts to play~

All the ships, the two hands, and Cubot's cart slowly landed back down onto the ground and everyone got off to meet up with their loved ones. If they had any.

"Don't think I'm going to rescue you guys again. And believe me, even if I hate Eggman more than you morons, I'm still going-" Weegee told the Wario Bros.

"Weegee, c'mon, stop being such a meanie!" Malleo begged as Samus chased after Patrick.

"Waa, speaking of that egg loser, I wonder what happened to him," Wario said.


~Ending Medley stops~

Eggman woke up one a small spot of land surrounded by boiling lava, with the still intact yet still unconscious Metal and Mecha Sonic by his side.

"Ugh... where am-" Eggman said before a floating head of his AOSTH counterpart flew right up to his face.

"PINGAS!" the head shouted.

"AH! NO, NOT THAT DANG MEME!" Eggman squealed, running around the small spot of land as the floating head chased after him.

Chapter Text

Episode 24: The Game That Is Board

DECEMBER 3rd, 2016

~Stonecarving City from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

It was a dull day at Wario and Waluigi's house. So dull, that everyone bar Crazy Hand had gathered around the TV as Wario clicked through the channels, looking for something to watch.

"News? Boring. Sports? Maybe if people got hurt more often doing that stuff it'd be worth watching. A talk show with that GengarFan3 loser? Who in the right mind thought he deserved a show?!" Wario complained.

"Yeah, do they just give out shows to literally anyone these days? Giving a stupid loser like GengarFan3 a show would be like including a Piranha Plant in Smash!" Waluigi added.

~Stonecarving City stops~

"AH! OH NO!" Crazy screeched, flying right into the living room while spazzing out. "ME AND ZIGZAGOON HAVE TO LEAVE BY THE END OF THE DAY BECAUSE TODAY'S THE DAY THAT MASTER HAND WANTED ME BACK!"

"WAA! NO!" both Wario and Waluigi cried out.

"The worst part is, I want at least one last fun day before I go, but I still can't think of anything fun we can do that we haven't already done during this week!"

"Everyone! Stop what you're doing and think of something for us to do for Crazy!" Wario demanded. Everyone rubbed their chins as they tried to come up with something... except for Crazy himself, who just fell to the floor seconds later.

"Oof... I stopped doing everything I was doing to think of something to do and the only thing that came to my mind was us stopping everything just to think of something to do," the hand said.

"I say we go start a big business!" Anna suggested.

"That's not fun, that'd only rot our brains and our muscles," Crazy pointed out.

"Dos," Ariados muttered.

"No Ariados, we tried building a giant Squidward robot yesterday while you weren't here," Waluigi replied. Everyone continued to think up an idea until one suddenly came to Wario at full force... knocking him down to the floor.

"Waa! I got the perfect idea! Bro, you still have that old board game hiding in the kitchen somewhere?" Wario asked Waluigi.

"Sure do!" Waluigi happily replied before flying into the kitchen. He opened up a secret trap door in the floor, revealing a tiny, dark room with the ancient board game and a growling, drooling Chibi Natsuki. Waluigi grabbed the board game covered in spider webs and dust that smelled like spiders and brought it back to the living room.

"Ooh! A corpse of a board game! That sounds fun!" Crazy said, spazzing out a bit from excitement. "What's the corpse called, what's the corpse called?!"

"Waa, even I don't remember. Let's blow all this gunk off and find out," Wario said. Both of the Wario Bros. took a deep breath before blowing the webs and dust off the board game and right into their eyes, resulting in both of them screaming. As the two screamed and rolled around on the floor, Anna approached to read the name of the board game.

"WAA-nders Of The Wario World? Sounds neat!" Anna said as the webs and dust got out of Wario and Waluigi's eyes.

"Wait, I forgot. You lost all of the player piece things years back during all that stupid Subspace stuff, remember?" Waluigi reminded Wario.

"Oh yeah. Bowser got so mad at losing that he melted all those pieces before he and Ganondorf decided to settle their differences in Shrek Super Slam," Wario added. "Oh well! We can get new player pieces in no time! And hey, Waluigi, while the rest of us go get new pieces, why don't you go see if you can get a few of our other friends just to make Crazy's last day here even better?"

"Oh yeah, even more friends for even more fun!" Crazy squealed.

"Alright! Then let's get this stuff done!" Wario commanded.


~The main theme from Wario World starts to play~

Crazy was in the middle of a parking lot, melting some giant metal object with a Crazy Hand-sized flamethrower so that he could use the metal to make new player pieces.

... But then the "screen" zoomed out a bit, revealing that the giant metal object was a statue of Lord Crump, and the still evil X-Naut was fuming at the sight of his precious statue being melted.


Waluigi was standing in front of his and Wario's mailbox, putting a few letters in it. Right as he was about to pull out, the mailbox trapped his hand inside before rocket jets came out of the mailbox's back end. The mailbox then took of into the sky and into one of the Warp Pipes around Wario's Gold Mine, all while Waluigi screamed a loud and long waa. The Warp Pipe led him and the mailbox all the way to Bikini Bottom, where the mailbox proceeded to fly around Squidward's house.

"I didn't know my house had an orbit of unwanted morons," Squidward muttered, watching Waluigi fly around his house. The octopus then grabbed a sledge hammer and smashed Waluigi and the mailbox into SpongeBob's pineapple.


Anna was still in Wario and Waluigi's house, cutting cardboard. That's all she was doing. Lame. Well, she was also coming up with a plan for all of them to get rich by selling cardboard, but that's not relevant.


With all the piece making done, everyone plus SpongeBob were back at the house, sitting around the ready board game. All that was left was to place the new player pieces down. SpongeBob placed his down at the starting square, followed by Zigzagoon, Anna, and Crazy, all of their player pieces made out of the metal Crazy melted, glued to cardboard bottoms.

~The main theme stops~

... And then Wario placed a Wario and a Waluigi amiibo down.

"What? They were the cheapest option!" Wario said.

"Waa, sorry I couldn't get Falco to come, Crazy," Waluigi said to his friend.

"It's OK, but I don't get why Patrick's not here," the giant hand stated.

"Patrick said he had something to do today. He said it was so top secret that he couldn't even tell me," SpongeBob answered. "I wonder what he's up to that's so important..."


~Azalea Town from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

Patrick was laying around the entrance to Slowpoke Well in Azalea Town, just staring up at the sky as Kurt came along.

"What's with the one Slowpoke wearing the green and purple pants?" Kurt wondered.


~Azalea Town stops~

"Oh well, let's get on with the game!" Crazy squealed with a small spaz.

~Bug Catching Contest Begins from the same game starts to play~

"Here are the rules! The first to get to the end square wins!" Wario started. "To get there, you roll the dice and move forward the amount of squares the dice land on! If you land on a event square, you got to pick a card and do what the card says!"

"Wario, almost all of these are event squares," Anna pointed out.

"Exactly! Oh, and avoid the eels, they send you all the way back to the start," Wario continued.

"Just like Eels And Escalators!" SpongeBob pointed out before thinking to himself. "Just remember not to blurt out any of those thirteen bad words, SpongeBob, and you'll live through this."

"Failure to do what the event card demands three times, or landing on an eel three times will result in you going to the Jail Graveyard Realm Of Shadows!" Wario finished, pointing to the dark, evil spot away from the rest of the squares, where a picture of Dead Hand, Death, and the Jigglypuff sprite from Pokémon: Red/ Blue were.

"Is that it? Sounds easy!" Crazy said.

"We'll see about that. Let the games begin, and may the best player win boasting rights for five minutes!" the yellow wacko said with glee as Ariados watched Glee on TV.

~Bug Catching Contest Begins stops as Casino from Super Mario 64 DS starts~

"Me first, me first!" Crazy insisted, snagging the dice before anyone else could. He shook them for four seconds before tossing them at the board, with the dice both landing on one.

"Ooh, two spaces," Waluigi commented.

"Ah man, I don't wanna go just two spaces ahead. There's not even an event square there!" the giant hand complained. One of the dice then grew an arm and whipped out a gun, aiming it right at Crazy to force him to move where he needed to go. "Ooh, a free gun! Thanks die!" Crazy then swiped the gun out of the die's hand before waving it around.

"Ah nuts, I'm defenseless now! Er, offenseless, I mean!" the die without their gun complained, even though no one could heard their words. "What am I supposed to do, Die?!"

"Don't worry Already, I got this," the other die said, growing an arm before spawning a flyswatter in its new hand.

"AH! FLYSWATTER! GET AWAY!" Crazy screeched, flying all around the room.

"Hey, knock it off, stupid dice! We didn't even properly decide who'll go first!" Waluigi ordered. Die the die ceased with the flyswatting and both die withdrew their arms while filled with disappointment.

"Hey Ariados, you mind deciding the order we go in?" Wario asked the Long Leg Pokémon before it handed Wario a piece of paper and went back to the TV. "Let's see... looks like Ariados says I should go first, then Waluigi, then Crazy, then Anna, then SpongeBob, and then Zigzagoon."

"Here are the dice then," Anna remarked, passing the dice.

"Thanks beautiful. Now let's get playin'!" Wario cackled. He shook the dice and threw them at the board, with both the dice landing on one again. "Really? Two spaces again? Eh, whatever." Wario moved his amiibo ahead to where he needed to go before passing the die to Waluigi.

"C'mon, give me two sixes and spawn another die that also gives me a six!" Waluigi gleefully said before chucking the dice... and getting only a one from both dice. "WHAT?! TWO SPACES THREE TIMES IN A ROW?! Did we rig this thing before, Wario?!"

"Move your player piece before the demon die brings out its flyswatter!" Crazy begged.

"Meh, fine... stupid dice..." the lanky plumber growled before moving his amiibo up to where Wario's was.

"Hey, at least we're together at the same mediocre spot," Wario said.

"My turn!" Crazy giggled, grabbing the dice, shaking them like wild, and tossing them at the board, both of them landing on two. "Yay! Finally an event square!" Crazy picked up his player piece and slammed it right onto the red square ahead of everyone else.

~Casino stops as I Can Do It! from Mario Party 2 starts~

"Grab a card, Crazy!" Wario commanded. Crazy obeyed, drawing the first card before reading what the card said on the back.

"Dance to that one iconic Wily's Castle theme thing as it randomly plays until its your turn again."

"Wait, wha-" Anna muttered...

~I Can Do It! stops as Dr. Wily Stage 1 & 2 from Mega Man 2 starts~

... before the music played and Crazy started to flop to the beat.

"These events are... something alright," the merchant remarked.

"And they're gonna get harder and even more fun!" Waluigi pointed out. "Oh yeah, and it's your turn."

"Well, here goes nothing!" Anna said as she tossed the dice, with Die landing on one and Already landing on two.

"Three! Three spaces! Ah-ah-ah!" Count Von Count cackled, having just appeared out of thin air, right before vanishing just as fast. Anna moved her player piece ahead and landed on another event square before drawing a card.

"Let's see... catch as many golden items in a laundry basket within a minute while dodging all the other things? Catch less than five gold objects or catch five other things and you fail? What?"

"Oh boy, this one is a wild one. Both me and Waluigi went on rampages before after failing!" Wario said. Suddenly, the ground began to shake. Everyone but Crazy ran outside...

~Dr. Wily Stage 1 & 2 stops~

... and found that a giant Piranha Plant had risen from the ground.

"There's the Piranha Plant that's gonna start spitting everything out of his mouth!" Waluigi pointed out.

"Woah, what?" Anna muttered as a laundry basket spawned within her hands. "Woah woah woah, no one mentioned anything about laundry baskets randomly com-"

~We Can't Lose! DX from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga + Bowser's Minions starts to play~

"IT'S THROWING UP RANDOM STUFF TIME! YEEHAW!" the giant Piranha Plant squealed. He started upchucking as much stuff as he could, including gold nuggets, golden eggs, chickens, and so much more. Anna tried her hardest to collect as much of the gold things as she could, catching one gold nugget before Wario passed on some advice to her.

"Hey! Everything'll shrink down to fit in the basket, so you can catch the big gold things too!"

"Gotcha!" Anna remarked. She dove down to catch a mostly golden sarcophagus with blue parts on it, proving Wario's advice to be true. But once the tiny sarcophagus landed in the bottom of the basket, it revealed itself to be a Cofagrigus, showing her face and arms.

"Nyah-ha-HA! What a weak-minded fool!" the Cofagrigus cackled with delight. She reached over to eat one of the gold nuggets Anna caught, but a shrunken Shrek along with other things landed between the Ghost type and the nugget.

"Oh hello there!" Shrek greeted. The Cofagrigus screamed before climbing out of the basket and crawling as far, far away from the ogre as should her arms could take her.

"Aaaaand... time!" Wario shouted.

~We Can't Lose! DX stops~

"Alright, let's see what you got, Anna," the fat man added. Anna nodded and dumped every single thing she caught onto the ground for everyone to see.

"Waa, let's see... one gold nugget!" Waluigi exclaimed.

"Shrek!" Wario added, pointing at the glorious ogre.

"A golden spatula! So pretty... and valuable during robot takeovers!" SpongeBob said, holding the golden spatula.

"A pair of gold teeth!" Waluigi said while holding golden dentures as Baoba, the Safari Zone owner, arrived.

"Hmph!" Baoba grunted before the gold teeth bit Waluigi's hand, the same one that already got clamped on by that mailbox earlier. As the poor lanky nimrod cried in agony, the fake teeth flew back into Baoba's mouth. "Bleh! These teeth taste like stomach fluids now!" Baoba then flew off on a Pidgeot before Wario could attack the Safari Zone owner with rocks.

"Grr... stupid moron hurting Waluigi... whatever," the yellow maniac muttered as he tossed the rocks to the side. "Oh, a golden look-a-like of Shadow!"

"I didn't ask for this," the golden Shadow muttered.

"The deed to Bowser's soul!" SpongeBob added while holding a piece of paper.

"WOAH! You even got that gold statue of that stupid Princess Peach I tried to get my hands on years ago! Nice!" Wario said, admiring the statue. "Hopefully that stupid Mario doesn't try to steal it a-"

"AND NOW IT'S SUCK EVERYTHING BACK UP TIME! YEEHAW!" the giant Piranha Plant squealed. He started inhaling as much as he could, quickly sucking the little golden Shadow and the deed to Bowser's soul right back up, along with nearly everything Anna failed to catch.

"NO! You're not getting this statue back, bub!" Wario yelled. Everyone but Shrek ran back into the house, with Shrek running the other way.

~Dr. Wily Stage 1 & 2 starts again~

Waluigi slammed the door shut as Wario placed the statue of Peach down next to the living room chair while Crazy still flopped to the music.

"Alright, let's back to the game," Wario muttered. Everyone sat around the board game again before SpongeBob grabbed the dice and shook them.

"C'mon, no eels, no eels... at least none that are electrical," the sponge muttered. He threw the dice, ending with both of them landing on six. "Yeah! Twelve spaces ahead!"

"Do you wanna tell him, Wario?" Waluigi whispered.

"Nah, he'll figure out soon enough," Wario responded. SpongeBob joyfully moved his player piece along the board, having it hop all the way, until he reached the eleventh space, realizing just what space number twelve was: the first eel on the whole board.

"Ah, barnacles..." SpongeBob groaned. He place his piece onto the eel, resulting in an actual eel coming out of nowhere, swallowing the piece, and spitting it out right at the beginning.

"Wario, do we really need eel spit on these things? Can't we just move the pieces back ourselves?" Anna wondered.

"Waa, you'll get used to the eel spit. I did, so you can too," Wario claimed. "Who's gonna roll for Zigzagoon?" Just then, the marvelous Alfonzo came out of the fridge.

"LEAVE IT TO ME!" Alfonzo insisted. He grabbed the dice, shook them up within his hands, chucked them at full force at the wall, causing them to break through and fly through the canyon before hitting a random Shy Guy.

"AH THE PAIN!" the Shy Guy screeched as the dice bounced right back off of him, flying right back into the house and landing right in Alfonzo's eyes.

"Hm! Two ones!" Alfonzo said, looking at the sides of the dice that were rammed against his eyeballs. Alfonzo then grabbed Zigzagoon's player piece and tossed it right into the two amiibos, knocking them over before Wario and Waluigi fell down onto their sides.

"Ugh... this is gonna be a long game..." Wario muttered, holding his head.


~The athletic theme from Super Mario World starts to play~

Wario was driving through the canyon and parts of hid gold mine, with his mission being to drive through all seven magical rings scattered about successfully within a time limit. He was doing just fine until a small army of Swoops managed to pick up him in the Wario Car while he was in the mines. They carried him outside and high into the air, carrying him to the next ring across the canyon. However, AOSTH Dr. Robotnik fell from above and landed in the back seat of the Wario Car just as Wario was close to the canyon's other side.

"Lovely day for tea, isn't it?" Robotnik asked Wario before taking a sip of his own brand of tea. However, the weight Robotnik brought was too much for the Swoops to handle, forcing the Wario Car to slip from their grips. Wario and Robotnik screamed, flailed their arms, and signed a peace treaty before the car crashed right into the ring, top-side first. The ring disappeared once the car entered it, and Wario and Robotnik crawled out of the wreck not long afterwards, their bodies springy from the crash, and made their way over to where Waluigi, Anna, Zigzagoon, and SpongeBob were waiting.

"I always had a particular dislike for this event and now I hate it even more," Wario rightfully complained. Suddenly, Mario jumped by and leaped off of Wario's springy body, causing the spring sound effect from Super Mario World to fill everyone's ears.

"Stupid red plumber! I'll stomp you good for that the next time I see you!" Waluigi threatened, shaking his fist at Mario as he ran off. Robotnik just laughed at the incident until Sonic did the same to him, only with the spring sound effect from the modern Sonic games instead of the one from Super Mario World.

"AH! BLASTED HEDGEHOG! You'll pay for that!" Dr. Robotnik shouted as the two lost their springiness. Robotnik whipped out a shotgun and started firing at the fleeing hedgehog as much as he could, chasing after him.


Anna was playing Gmod on Wario's computer, going through a SpongeBob-theme Death Run map. She was just a small stretch away from the end, with seemingly no traps remaining. She dashed on through when a Squidward head popped out of the sandy ground, launching her so high up that the entire Death Run maze quickly became nothing more than a small speck until she broke through the floor of a small room.

~The athletic theme stops~

After landing on a bit of the floor, Anna turned herself around and found Squidward in a bathtub, who stared right back.

"Um... what's thi-"

"WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!" Squidward screamed, firing a large laser beam from his mouth that vaporized Anna's player character instantly.


~The athletic theme starts again~

Waluigi was playing a game of hide and seek with Toad outside. Waluigi hid on the edge of a cliff behind an old statue built in Shrek's likeness and surrounded by a few bushes shaped like Sans's head.

"Stupid Toad will never find me here! Waa haa!" Waluigi quietly cackled.

"Hello!" Toad said, suddenly appearing behind Waluigi. The lanky dumbass screamed before accidentally falling over the cliff's edge as Toad just danced around.

"WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA! Tell Wario I need life insurance!" Waluigi screamed before he fell into a mine cart that was just about to enter the actual mine part of Wario's Gold Mine.

"I'm the best!" Toad boasted in his Mario Kart 64 voice. Suddenly, Waluigi and the mine cart flew on out of a tunnel above the cliff Toad was dancing on before it fell down right behind him, causing a large enough of a quake to force Toad to fall off the cliff.


Everyone had gathered around the board game again as SpongeBob shook the dice in his tiny, yellow, and clean hands.

"I already landed on two eels... please, no more eels..." the sponge muttered within his mind. He tossed the dice, causing one to land on two and the other on three... which meant SpongeBob had to land on another eel.

~The athletic theme stops again~

SpongeBob just stared at the board, a blank yet fake smile on his face, sweat crawling down his body, Wario munching on crunchy garlic, and Ariados watching a still image of the baby Grinch from that live action Grinch film on the TV.

Until everything finally sunk into SpongeBob's brain.

~Bring Me To Life by Evanescence starts to play fifty-two seconds in~

Suddenly, SpongeBob began to internally scream as a semi-transparent version of him appeared right next to him, also screaming while flailing his arms about. The screams swiftly turned into various sounds such as fog horns and dolphin chirps as his brain caught on fire, causing all the little SpongeBob's that don't actually exist that ran his brain to panic.

"THERE'S NOTHING BUT RAGE, FURY, IRRITATION, AND HUMILIATION LEFT!" one of the little SpongeBob's cried as everything burned down. Some of the little SpongeBob's tried their hardest to keep the real SpongeBob from lashing out, barely managing to succeed. And thus, despite all the rage, SpongeBob kept the fake smile on his face.

~Bring Me To Life stops~

"Hey SpongeBob, you OK?" Crazy asked.

"Huh? Oh, yeah, I'm fine, ehehe..." SpongeBob giggled.

"Well, this is it. Just me and Zigzagoon left," Wario said. "Oi! Weirdo! Zigzagoon needs to roll again!"

"LEAVE IT TO ME!" Alfonzo shouted, snagging the dice before chucking them again, resulting in the landing in his eyes... again. "Hm! A three and a six! Nice spaces ahead!"

"How come Zigzagoon's been avoiding all the event squares and eels?" Anna whispered to Waluigi as Alfonzo chucked Zigzagoon's player piece ahead, the piece landing perfectly on the spot Zigzagoon needed to go yet again. However, as everyone kept their attention away from the cards, the rabid Chibi Natsuki placed another card onto the deck.

"Alright, hand me those dice before I hand you a one-way ticket to Suplex City," Wario demanded.

"Wario, we only have regular tickets to Suplex City," Crazy said.

"Darn it! Whatever, I can roll, so who cares?" Wario muttered. He chucked the dice, with both of them landing on six. "Oh yeah! Waluigi, you mind grabbing the next event card for me?"

"Sure thing," the lanky wacko said. He grabbed the next card as Wario moved his amiibo along to where it needed to go. "Let's see... it says "Avoid the cops for the rest of your life"."

"Wait, WHA-" Anna yelled.

~Tense Competition! from Pokémon: Fire Red/ Leaf Green starts to play~

"WARIO! WE HAVE THE PLACE SURROUNDED!" a police officer Goomba shouted as cop cars and helicopters swiftly arrived, scaring Sandshrew and Sandslash into hiding. "COME OUT WITH YOURS HANDS UP! AND MORE IMPORTANTLY, WITH YOUR CLOTHES ON THIS TIME!"

"It's the heat! Quick, let's splash them with oil!" Crazy suggested.

"This shouldn't be happening! That card's unofficial! Who put it there?!" Wario shouted, with Chibi Natsuki giggling behind the fridge.


"Oh no! No way! No one makes me pay for those kind of damages!" Wario shouted before running outside.

~Tense Competition! stops as Wario Battle 1 from Super Mario Land 2: 6 Golden Coins starts~

Wario swung his arms around in circles, knocking away nearby officers until he made it to the Wario Car.

"QUICK! AFTER HIM!" the officer Goomba ordered as Wario drove off. The police gave chase in their vehicles, hunting Wario right into a large Warp Pipe that led to Smashtopolis.

"We gotta save Wario before the heat gets to him!" Crazy stated as the gang made it outside.

"Ah yeah! It's time for the mantis to tear up the streets again!" Waluigi cackled. The purple wonder of idiocy whistled, causing the Gold Mantis vehicle to come from the sky. Waluigi laughed even more as he crawled in a drove off after Wario.

~Wario Battle 1 stops~

And everyone else just stood there, watching Waluigi drive off in his excavator as Chibi Natsuki walked outside.

"And how are w-" Anna muttered before a large, modified train fell from the sky, crushing Chibi Natsuki.

"LEAVE IT TO ME!" Alfonzo screeched, poking his head out of the train before everyone crawled in. And thus the train flew off at high speeds and accidentally knocked Waluigi into a different Warp Pipe.

... And once everyone was gone, Chibi Natsuki rose up from the ground, growling like a mad dog.


~Love Is In The Air from Yoshi's Story starts to play~

Lucario was happily sipping some nice hot chocolate in front of Smashtopolis's Nook Hotel, staring at the remaining leaves falling from the trees.

"Ah... nothing could ruin today. Not this ti-"

~Love Is In The Air stops as Target by Hans Ehrlinger starts~

... And then Wario ran Lucario over, with the police hoard coming by seconds later.

"OF COURSE! OF COURSE WARIO MANAGES TO RUIN EVERYTHING! JUST LIKE HOW HE ALWAYS DOES!" Lucario screamed before he leaped onto one of the cop cars.

"Oi!" a policeman from Johto said, noticing Lucario on his car. "Lucario! What are you do-"

"GET HIM!" Lucario shouted in Heimlich the caterpillar's voice, pointing at Wario.

"We already were after him, but whatever, lunatic," the policeman groaned.

"You cops will never get me, dead or alive!" Wario shouted before chucking a copy of the PS4 version of Dead Or Alive 5 Last Round at one of the cop car's vehicles.

"OH NO, TITS!" the driver of the car, Taranza, cried out once the game landed on his front window, steering out of control before crashing into a tree, knocking all of the Pineco living in it to fall onto the car. "Stupid breasts from a stupid game! I can't believe this Sony company would allow such a game to be on their console I had no idea about until now! I'm going to have a very thorough talk with them after this!" Before Taranza attempted to rejoin the chase, all the Pineco used Self-Destruct, sending Taranza flying over Wario.

"Oh wow, flying losers. You don't see that everyday," Wario remarked.


~Target stops~

Master Hand was waiting in Smashtopolis's train station, reading Parfait Girls 2: Attack Of The Number 2: Bloody Frosting Edition as numerous Nintendo characters passed by him.

"Quite the bold move to feature such adult themes in this sequel..." Master Hand muttered.

"Oh hey, I think the train's finally coming," the nearby Snake muttered as train sounds boomed through the station. "I finally get to go home an-" Suddenly, Alfonzo's train phased right through the tracks, blocking the regular train from arriving.

"Darn, we missed the roof and went through the floor. Talk about lame!" Crazy complained as everyone crawled out of Alfonzo's train.

"Crazy! Why are you blocking the Universal Magnet Train with another train?!" Master Hand yelled.

"Hey, our train is far fancier and is a classic! If anything, you should just be grateful that you get to see such a nice tr-" Crazy replied.

~Escape From Mt. Lavalava from Paper Mario starts to play~

"RUN FOR IT! RUN!" a bunch of Goombas squealed as they ran by. Not too far away, Wario was driving through the station, with the cops and Lucario chasing him on foot.

"Buzz off, losers! Don't make me do something crazy!" Wario yelled, his body turned to face the approaching cops.

"Oh yeah?! What's your plan, idiot?!" the Johto cop wondered. Wario was just about to reveal his plan when he crashed into a small wall blocking a drop to the lower floor, sending him flying right into a clock that fit right around his head. Wario then landed not to far away from the tracks before his friends and Master Hand approached him.

"WARIO! What are you doing?! What are all of y-" Master Hand yelled.

~Escape From Mt. Lavalava stops~

"FREEZE! PUT YOUR HANDS UP, ALL OF YOU!" the police officer Goomba demanded as the police force, along with Chibi Natsuki, Lord Crump, Mario, who was holding the Peach statue from before, Lucario, Taranza, and Sans surrounded the crew. Everyone swiftly obeyed, though Crazy just started floating up to the ceiling, and the hands on Wario's clock pointed all the way up to twelve. Just a short distance away were Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private, who were watching the scene behind a pillar.

"Kowalski, analysis," Skipper ordered.

"Outside of a strange sense of nostalgia, I can only make out one noteworthy detail about the situation," Kowalski answered.

"And that detail is...?" Skipper asked.

"That it's not worth diving any deeper into the situation," Kowalski answered.

"Oh good." The four penguins then waddled away as the last few cops surrounded Wario and his pals.

"Alright, you better listen to our commands," a cop Magmortar sternly said. "Or else I'm going to Flamethrower you a-" The lower end of Wario's digestive track suddenly growled loudly, scaring Magmortar immensely. "On... on second thought, I think I'm going to just, uh, stay as far away as possible BYE!" Magmortar then ran out of the station, caught a taxi, got out of the taxi, got on a plane, flew to the middle of nowhere, and dove right into an ancient bunker, shaking with his arms crossed all the while.

"What a coward! Now we lack our firepower!" a police officer Waddle Dee with a shotgun complained.


"HUH?!" nearly everyone exclaimed.

"ALL WE HAD TO DO WAS SLAP THIS ONTO HIM," the Goomba said as the Johto cop stuck a sticker with the words "Mario is better than me" on Wario's back.

"Uh... why did we need to waste all that time just to put a stupid sticker on some idiot's back?" the Waddle Dee questioned.


"That's it?! You're not going to arrest these maniacs?!" Lucario hollered as the cops, Mario, and Sans took off.

"Well, we need to get rid of that card once we get home," Anna said before she took the clock off of Wario's head.

"I have no idea what card you all are talking about, but if it did have something to do with those insane cops chasing after you, you better burn that thing," Master Hand said. "Anyways, Crazy, you better say goodbye to Wario, you need to come with me."

"Yeah..." Crazy muttered. "I'll see you... years from now."

"Don't sweat it too much, me and Waluigi will visit ya every once in a while," Wario replied.

~Fist Bump (Piano Ver.) from Sonic Forces starts to play~

"How about one last fist bump before we go?" Crazy suggested.

"Waa. Sure Crazy. Sure." Everyone then put their fists forward, lightly fist bumping each other. Wario, Crazy, Anna, SpongeBob, Alfonzo... and even Master Hand decided to join in.

"Ugh," Lucario groaned at the sight. Zigzagoon lunged for Lucario, wearing a boxing glove over his head, and knocking Lucario down to the floor. "HEY! YOU IDIOT!"

"Well... come on Crazy," Master Hand said as the fist bump ended.

"Yeah... so long, Wario, Anna, SpongeBob..." Crazy muttered. The two hands and Zigzagoon wandered out of the station as Crazy's friends waved goodbye.

"You know... I'mma hang onto that clock. I've got a good idea to do to it when we get home," Wario said while Alfonzo got onto his train.

"When do you think the next tournament will be? When we'll be back together again?" Anna asked as Wario and his gang started heading for the station's .

"Waa... my gut's telling me December seventh two years ahead from now."

"You're probably wrong on that, idiot!" Taranza yelled, even though none of them heard.

"Buh huh huh! Yeah! I say we laugh at him now to get a head start on the gloating!" Lord Crump added.

"Excellent idea, random person!" the spider freak said before they cackled. Meanwhile, Lucario and Chibi Natsuki just growled quietly while following after Wario.


~Fist Bump (Piano Ver.) stops as Waluigi Pinball from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts~

"Waa haa! It's so beautiful, Wario!" Waluigi cackled, standing around the clock with Wario and Anna back at their house. The clock's only real changes were that a mini version Wario's head had replaced the tip of the clock's short hand, while Waluigi's had replaced the tip on the long hand.

"Yeah! Now everyone will now that it's always Wario and Waluigi time!" Wario added.

~Waluigi Pinball stops~

But while it may have been a long time for them, time basically fast-forwarded for certain others, signified by the hands on the clock speeding around in the circle they were destined to go in. So many days passed... until it became that special day...

Chapter Text

Episode 25: Round Five Begins

DECEMBER 7th, 2018

Wario and Waluigi's entire house was empty. The clock Wario edited more than two years ago? Gone. The Wario Car? Missing. Even Wario, Waluigi, or Anna were around. The only living thing even within the area surrounding Wario's Gold Mine was a lone Shy Guy, who stared into the house through one of the windows.

"Wow, this place is even emptier than my soul."


~Overworld from Super Mario World starts to play~

Back in the Smash World, it was a beautiful day by a new path in the middle of the hillside. The Pidgey were chirping, the Sunflora were using the move Growth in a dire attempt to grow even more... on days like these, wild Pichu and wild Wooper like the ones nearby... should have been doing something besides sitting around behind the bushes that stood alongside the path from both sides, with a billboard with the words "Smash Grounds Ahead: Join Us For Smash-Fest on December Seventh!" close by, but they did that anyways.

"So I said to that Pichu "OK, what makes YOU so special that you get to join Smash and get all that fame, but the rest of us Pichu get squat?", and then she just screamed gibberish at me!" the wild Pichu complained to his friend. "I was just about to punch that jerk when out of nowhe-"

~Overworld stops~

Suddenly, a loud car dashed by, causing first the Wooper and then the Pichu to poke their heads above the bushes to see what just went by... only to find a trail of smoke and dirt.


The newest Smash Grounds was filled with so much noise from everyone blabbering on about either the tournament, being with each other again, how the new Smasher's Palace's exterior looked exactly like the old Pokémon Mansion from Cinnabar Island before it burned down, or about how much they hated each other. Despite all the noise, Lucario was able to hear a far too familiar car quickly approaching from a fair distance away.

"Here comes the worst parts of all of this..." Lucario groaned. The car kept moving ahead, running over the idiot GengarFan3 in the process, killing him (good riddance). Unfortunately GengarFan3 would eventually rise back from the dead. Anyways, the new Smash Grounds just came into the car's reach.

~Glittertown from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

The car, which was actually the Wario Car the whole time, with Wario, Waluigi, and Anna sitting in it, knocked the gates right down before Wario finally stopped the car.

"Waa haa! We're back, losers! Get ready to lose to me!" Wario cackled, the trio leaping out of the Wario Car.

"Wario!" Crazy Hand shouted as he, Falco, Zigzagoon, and a blue-tentacled boy Inkling approached.

"Crazy!" Wario shouted back.

"Waluigi!" Falco yelled.

"Falco!" Waluigi yelled back.

"Red-haired beauty!" the boy Inkling cried out.

"Random person I never seen before!" Anna replied.

"SpongeBob," SpongeBob said, appearing out of nowhere.

"We're all back together again! Fist bump time!" Crazy said, curling up into a fist. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Anna, SpongeBob, and the Inkling threw their fists into the big fist bump with grins on all their faces.

"And now the whole gang of maniacs are back. Great," Lucario groaned before noticing that Zigzagoon was charging for him with the boxing glove stuck on his head. "Not this again!" Before Zigzagoon could tackle Lucario, the Aura Pokémon dove down, causing the littler Pokémon to take Snake down instead.

"Snake!" Duck Hunt Dog cried out.

"I thought we were done with the whole name thing," Anna said as the fist bump ended.

~Glittertown stops~

"I'm gonna go cry in the showers so instead of being sad and angry, I'll just be angry," Lucario muttered, walking toward the new palace just as SpongeBob somehow vanished.

"So, what'd you guys do during these last few weeks?" Wario asked.

"I bought us all bread to share with each other! I must have at least two loaves for everyone!" Falco said, leaning on a huge bag full of bread.

"I had my eighteenth birthday, which means I can final-" the boy Inkling said before Wario interrupted him.

"Woah there, who the heck even are you? What even are you? Why even are you?"

"Oh, he's our new friend! We just met him today!" Crazy pointed out as Chunky Kong started jumping up and down, causing minor quakes and forcing bananas to fall from the sky.

"Yeah! The name's Agent Four! A name I only have because no one will let me have any other name!"

"He likes memes, just like us!" Crazy added.

"Sure, I like memes, but not as much as I like cuties!" Agent Four said. "Speaking of... what's the name of this fine, red-haired girl?"

"That's my girlfriend you're talking about, just so you know," Wario said with a glare.

"... Oh, uh..."

"Forget about flirting with beings that aren't even a part of your species, let's just get to know your new friends, Agent Four!" Crazy said. "The short one's Wario, the tall one's Waluigi, and the red-haired girl whose kind will die out eventually is Anna!"

"Crazy, what are y-" Anna asked before another voice chimed in.

"Dos," Ariados muttered, standing on the Wario Car's hood with Sans standing right beside her.

"Oh, and that's Ariados," Wario pointed out. "They were hiding in the trunk with the skeleton."

"Nice to meet you all, even if the three of you now seem like grave robbers!" Agent Four said.

"Say, Crazy, you never told us what you did recently," Anna stated.

"Oh, well... I comforted SpongeBob while he got really upset for some reason back on the twenty-sixth or something of November. He wasn't sure what got him so upset... but hey, enough about sad stuff, let's go see our new rooms!" the hand said. Everyone moved towards the new Smasher's Palace, happy they were together once more.

~Dark Cave from Pokémon: Gold/ Silver starts to play~

However, two pairs of eyes were peeking through a bush close to the new Smash Grounds's gates. The owners of the eyes then pulled their heads out of the bush, revealing themselves to be Weegee and Dr. Wily.

"No sign of that confounded fake, low quality Assist Trophy that hand supposedly made of me. I know he's got it somewhere though... and when I find it, I'm going to disman-"

"Yeah yeah, dismantle it right in front of his paralyzed body, I've heard that plan three times already, Albert," Weegee groaned. "That's not even the real reason we came here. We're here to finally get revenge on those idiot brothers and everyone else here. This time though... this time I'm going to show them what happens when they mess with me..."

~Dark Cave stops~

"NO! THE IDIOT WAS RIGHT!" Lord Crump cried out, standing in the bush right across from Weegee and Wily with Taranza. "THAT STUPID IDIOT GUESSED THE CORRECT DATE FOR THE TOURNAMENT!"

"Meh, it's a little saddening, but like I care much! I managed to get Sony and even Tumblr to be against breasts! That's good enough for me! Muwahahaha!" Taranza chuckled.

"Hey, dumbasses! Keep your voices down, they'll hear!" Weegee demanded from the two.

"Yeah, and what are they going to do about it?!" Crump growled.

"Oh boy, idiots to play Whack-A-Feral-And-Violent-Squid-With-Anger-Issues with!" Agent Four cheered, rushing back out to the bushes while holding an Ultra Stamp.

~Bonus Time from Donkey Kong Country 3: Dixie Kong's Double Trouble starts to play~

"AH!" Crump screamed as the four dove their heads back into the bushes. They then began to poke their heads out of different bushes before diving back in, starting with Weegee, then Dr. Wily, then Taranza, and then AOSTH Dr. Robotnik as Agent Four tried to squash them, before Crump rose up from where he started.

"GET BENT!" the Inkling shouted. He brought his Ultra Stamp down onto Crump, squishing him to the point where the top half of his paper body had partially folded over his bottom half.

"CEASE! Cease with the creasing!" the X-Naut demanded, only for Agent Four to keep on slamming him. Crump let out more screams of pain as Weegee, Wily, Dr. Robotnik, Sandshrew, Sandslash, and Taranza watched from a fair distance away, sipping as usual on some edgy Purple Flurp while sitting in reclining chairs.


~Bonus Time stops~

Wario, Waluigi, and Anna had just finished setting up their new room, having set it up just like their old one from the last tournament, except with Wario's edited clock hanging from the ceiling in the middle, before marching out to meet up with Falco, Crazy, Duck Hunt Dog, and Agent Four.

"Waa! And finished!" Waluigi said.

"Yeah! Now we can have some fun! Let's go!" Crazy squealed, spazzing so much that he accidentally knocked everyone away. Wario and Waluigi curled up into balls during their flight, bouncing off the walls as they moved through the halls. Eventually, the reached the bottom floor of the new palace, quickly approaching an unaware Sonic and Agent Three.

"Now, aside from my high speed, the main thing people remember me for is my ability to curl up into a ball an-" Sonic told the Inkling before Wario bowled right into the hedgehog, sending him flying into a trash can with the words "No Hopers" on it.

"Ha! You're back where you belong... AGAIN!" Cranky Kong wheezed, standing behind the can. "At least this sorta makes up for that stupid hand letting that trashy K. Rool into Smash... but it certainly isn't enough! You hear me, confounded hand and fat crocodile?! I WILL get K. Rool out of Smash by any means necessary!"

"Can it, old maniac," K. Rool said, slamming another trash can onto Cranky, forcing the ancient monkey to waddle around and bump into everything.


~Ice Cream Island from Kirby's Epic Yarn starts to play~

Crazy was in his and Master Hand's room, browsing the web on a Master Hand and Crazy Hand sized computer.

"Hmm... Darling In The Franxxx? Franks, as in those hotdog thingies?" Crazy muttered, staring at the computer. "So darlings are what are in those hotdogs then! It all makes sense now... but what the heck is a darling?"

"Crazy, do you know where that Incineroar is?" Bayonetta asked, peeking her head through the door.

"She's wrestling in that Boxing Ring stage with Bowser. They're wrestling over they should watch Kill La Kill or Sesame Street."

"Ah, thanks, Crazy darling," the witch said, walking off.

~Ice Cream Island stops as Panic! from Mario & Luigi: Superstar Saga starts~

"AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH! I'M A DARLING! NO! WHY?!" Crazy screamed, flying all around the room.

"Hey Crazy, I-" Falco said just as he made it into the room, holding an Astolfo body pillow with a control stick in a certain spot. "Crazy! What's wrong?! Did you see toast?!"


"I wish they would but no one would want to eat a giant, psychotic hand," Lucario said, passing by the room.

~Panic! stops~

"Oh phew! I thought I was a goner. Thanks Lucario!"

"Say, Crazy, remember that Astolfo whatshisname you told me about a few weeks ago? Well, guess what I got!" Falco said.

"Eee! A body pillow! One that has a control stick in it for some reason! Now I can have something to hug with, play video games with, and watch SpongeBob with!" Crazy said, snagging the pillow from Falco.


Wario and Waluigi were marching their way back into the new Smasher's Palace, wiping all the dirt they got on them during their rolling flight. However, skeletal hands dragged the two into some nearby bushes.

~Stage 2 (Stalker) from Castlevania starts to play~

"Guys, I need to talk with you," Death from Castlevania said, being the one who dragged the two into the bushes.

"Anything for you, Death! What's up?" Wario asked.

"Well, you s-"

"Wait, don't tell me those loons are trying to drag you into clown college again," Waluigi said.

"No, it's slightly better than that yet still bad. Take a look for yourselves," Death ordered. The two brothers peeked through the bushes, spotting Morshu standing in front of them.

"Ah cool, it's Morshu! Haven't seen him since we visited Bikini Bottom last year!" Wario stated.

"No, it's the two approaching him," Death said as Simon and Richter Belmont walked towards Morshu.

"Here, I got those jewels you wanted. Can I buy that blue mushroom now?" Simon asked the shopkeep.

"Sure thing! Here you go!" Morshu said, taking the rubies and handing Simon a Mini Mushroom.

"Yo, can I get that picture of Squidward now?" Richter said, showing Morshu some rubies.

"I'm sorry, I can't give credit. Come back when you're a little MMMMMM richer!"" Morshu replied before Kid Dracula showed up, swiped Simon's Mini Mushroom, and forced it into Richter's mouth, causing the vampire hunter to shrink.

"HA-HA!" Kid Dracula laughed in Nelson Muntz's voice. He then ran off, still laughing.

"A TINY DRACULA! WE GOTTA KILL HIM! COME ON, RICHTER!" Simon yelled. Simon ran off, chasing Kid Dracula all the way out of the Smash Grounds.

~Stage 2 (Stalker) stops~

The tiny Richter was about to follow, but he got trampled by a group of people who wanted to see Kid Dracula get beaten, resulting in a tiny AND flattened Richter.

"... I got a little kid to rescue now so uh... I'll explain the rest to you guys later," Death muttered. Wario and Waluigi shrugged as Death vanished before they walked out of the bushes.

~Kamakani (B) by Kapono Beamer starts to play~

Suddenly, Plankton came and sat down next to the squished Richter.

"Hey there. Got squashed by a crowd, huh?" Plankton asked.

"Yeah... and got shrunk down right before hand," Richter responded.

"Eh, being stepped on happens to me a lot. Happens a least once a week it seems. Especially since a certain someone destroyed my mind contr-"

"Wait, what?"

"Er, nevermind. You going through any other pains right now? Like the feeling that you'll never succeed at your biggest dream or something?"

"Yes actually... you see people around here don't seem to appreciate me much... all because, for some reason, I'm a "clone" of Si-"

"On second thought nevermind, I know where this is going, I've seen tenough Smash Bros. fanfics during my time in prison to know where this is going. In fact, enough with the sad music, let me get something happier in here!" Plankton said, pulling out his tiny gramophone before it started playing music.

~Kamakani (B) stops as Bell Hop (A) by John Shakespeare starts~

"Listen, people are allowed to dislike you being in the tournament for being a clone or echo or whatever the concept is, especially when you have no real differences from Simon. And it definitely doesn't justify making a fanfic just to make people feel bad for disliking you guys for being clones. I don't even dislike clones, yet even I see the stupidity in guilt tripping people just because they don't like something."

"Are there really that many fanfics of that kind?" Richter wondered.

"Wait, are you saying that you, Plankton of all people, are a fan of Smash?" Ganondorf asked.

"Well, when you get stuck in prison and the only enjoyment you can get is by playing the only video game they have there, reading fanfictions, and terrorizing some of your fellow prisoners with the fact that you went to college just to mess with them, you kinda are forced to become a fan," Plankton answered.

"Ah, gotcha," Ganondorf replied.

'Anyways, I gotta go. I'm still not allowed within a fifty-mile radius of this joint, so I need to take a hike. Besides, I got formulas to steal, villains to team up with, and video game tournaments to attend to. Smashtopolis has a Smash Ultimate tournament tonight, and I'm making sure I bring you to at least top eight, Ganondorf. Well, farewell everyone, I still hate most of you!"

"Gods, Plankton is so cool. I wish he was a part of the tournament. Plankton for Smash!" Ganondorf shouted, raising his sword to the sky.


~Bell Hop (A) stops as Graveyard by Johnny Pearson starts~

Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Anna, Duck Hunt Dog, Zigzagoon, and Agent Four were walking through the garden that sprawled around behind the new Smasher's Palace, talking about things they've heard about around the grounds while a certain big guy watched over them from the palace's rooftop.

"So yeah, apparently even Marth didn't understand what he was saying most of the time and was just blabbering about random stuff in that Japanese language or something," Crazy mentioned.

"What the heck is a Japanese again? I forgot," Diddy Kong wondered, popping his head through the bushes.

"You have much to learn, young one," Crazy replied.

~Graveyard stops as Brinstar Depths from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate starts~

Suddenly, the stalker decided to roar, catching the gang's attention before flying at them.

"It's a bird!" Waluigi claimed.

"IS IT MY MOM?!" Falco anxiously wondered.

"It's a plane!" Agent Four claimed.

"It's a dinosaur from our imaginations!" Crazy squealed while spazzing just as the stalker, Ridley, landed in front of them.

"Shut the hell up, pathetic hand. I'm no dinosaur, and I'm not from your imagination," the Space Pirate stated.

"That's what the dinosaurs say before making us confront our problems!" Waluigi insisted.

"I said shut up. It's just me, Ridley. You know, a certain dragon who you claimed was "too big" and that even if I was shrunk down, I "wouldn't be myself if I was a workable size"? Remember me now?"

"Oh yeah, you. I remember you now. You're still not fit for Smash, just an FYI," Crazy said.

"Yeah, too big!" Wario added.

"Oh, you're still standing on that "too big" hill, huh? You plan on staying on it til the day you die? And it's even a little funny, since your brother doesn't agree with you on that anymore," Ridley chuckled.

"What are you saying?" Crazy questioned.

"What am I saying? Is it really not that obvious? Well, maybe this will make it all crystal clear." Ridley then showed the gang an envelope that had the Smash logo on it before reading the letter that came with it. "Dear Ridley. Apologizes for my brother and his insane friends's idiocy during the auditions years ago. That aside, I have important news to tell you. After I heard you could utilize the Mini Mushrooms from the Mushroom Kingdom to shrink yourself down to a more reasonable size from Lucario, I started to take the idea of you as a fighter more seriously. However, it was when you came by last week and showed me that new technique that didn't even require the Mini Mushrooms that I became convinced. Yes, I am finally allowing you to join the Super Smash Brothers tournament. Just don't try to terrorize anyone there, or else. Signed, Master Hand."

~Brinstar Depths stops~

Crazy, Wario, and Waluigi just stood there, taking in the reality of the situation before Crazy spoke up again.

"Er, did I say you were too big? Heh, s-slip of the tongue is all it was. You were a great pick!"

"W-waa, yeah! You were really obvious right from the start too! Yeah!" Waluigi added.

"Huh. Back-pedaling behavior wasn't what I expected, but it's still really amusing," Ridley thought. "Yes, I was a great pick, wasn't I?" Despite Waluigi and Crazy's back-pedaling though, Wario was angry and trying to hide his anger.

"Stupid reptile!" Wario quietly muttered as Crazy and Waluigi kept praising Ridley. "He doesn't deserve to be all high and mighty like this! We just said that he was too big, told him that being smaller would make him lose his charm, and punched him away when he wouldn't leave!"

"Sounds like he DOES deserve to be a little smug about getting in," Duck Hunt Dog remarked.

"Why exactly did you guys insist that he was such a bad idea?" Anna questioned.

"I dunno, me and Waluigi were just going with what Crazy was saying," Wario answered. "Whatever! I need to knock this reptile down from his high horse!"

"Here, shoot this banana at him," Diddy suggested, tossing a Banana Gun towards the yellow idiot. "Fire that thing like a gun at him! And don't worry, I got plenty more for you to shoot."

"Whatever you say, monkey," Wario muttered. While the preoccupied Ridley was busy chuckling at Waluigi and Crazy's ongoing back-pedaling, Wario pulled the banana's non-existent trigger, sending the fruity part of the banana right into the space dragon's face, where the fruit blew up, sending knocking Ridley back a fair ways away.

"WHAT THE-" Ridley growled.

~Boss 2 from Donkey Kong: Jungle Climber starts to play~

"Say your prayers, lizard!" Wario shouted, holding another Banana Gun.

"Yeah, get splatted, reptile!" Agent Four added, grabbing a Banana Gun from Diddy. Wario started quickly grabbing and firing more Banana Guns, all of which Ridley barely dodging them. Waluigi, Falco, Anna, Zigzagoon, and Agent Four soon joined in, forcing Ridley to fly away.

~Boss 2 stops~

"Waa! That oughta show that stupid lizard what happens when he gets cocky over nothing!" Wario said with pride. Ridley landed back on the new Smasher's Palace's rooftop, rubbing his head.

"Blasted idiots... if they think they can attack me like that, then it's fair game for me to fight back!" Ridley started charging up a large fireball within his mouth and then spewed it back down towards the garden, where it exploded right in front of the Wario Bros.'s crew, sent them flying while on fire, and setting the gist of the garden on fire.

~Happy Home Showcase from Animal Crossing: New Leaf starts to play~

"It's a beautiful day! A beautiful day to-" Isabelle sang while skipping not too far away from the burning garden.

~Happy Home Showcase~

But then Wario crushed her beneath his burning butt, spreading some of his flames onto her.

"THROTTLE SOMEONE'S NECK! GET OFF OF ME, FAT OAF!" the female dog demanded.

"SOMEONE PUT ME OUT!" Wario screamed, leaping off of Isabelle and running back to the palace.


"So I'm sure many of you are wondering why I brought you all to a cliff in the middle of nowhere with this giant... thing of light and wings," Master Hand said to the group of Smashers as a mechanical recreation of Galeem looming over the cliffside.

"You planning on killing us?" Daisy asked.

"No, idiot. We're going to make a film to draw more people into the tournament, and the film will be called World Of Li-"

"Do we really need more people caring about this tournament? You've already got a huge fanbase as is," Wolf stated. "And considering how rabid it is, we don't need more rabid people in it."

"Considering a certain meme managed to make a knock-off tournament that managed to get nearly as popular as ours, yes," Master Hand replied. "Now, I know not everyone is here at the moment, since some people decided to stay back at the palace..."


~Bath Time Theme from Super Smash Bros. For 3DS/ Wii U starts to play~

Lucario was still in the showers, letting the water fall down his body with his final tears.

"Ah... all the sadness has been washed away, and now all that's left is anger and the need to dry off," the Aura Pokémon said to himself. He turned off the water and grabbed the closest sponge before wiping it around his face.

"Bwahaha! It tickles!" a mysterious yet familiar voice giggled. Lucario stopped wiping and looked around the entire bathroom before slowly turning the sponge over, revealing that the sponge was SpongeBob, the size of a kitchen sponge and completely naked. "Oh hey Lucario!"


"I'm here to get rid of a bad case of the suds. Believe it or not, going through this treatment is even more fun the second time. You should try it!" SpongeBob said despite Lucari's continuous screams.


~Bath Time Theme stops~

"... but considering we're more than likely not going to get it right the first time around, or even the sixty-forth, we can just rehearse without him," Master Hand continued. "Now, this thing here is a lifeless robot designed in the likeness of Galeem, a mythical deity who, for whatever reason, had their supposed history written in a secret sector of the Ruins Of Light ages before I met you all."

"Yeah yeah, just tell us what to do already," Wario demanded.

"Alright, alright. Listen up then. This robot of Galeem will fire beams of light and you all are to dodge th-"

"AH! You ARE trying to kill us! Everyone, panic!" Daisy screamed. She and some of the other Smashers began to run around, screaming about how they were doomed.

"NO! These beams of light will be harmless! We'll just edit the footage so it looks like you got vaporized!" Master Hand informed everyone, calming down the panicking ones.

"Then start firin' lasers already!" Wario ordered.

"Just a second Wario. Crazy, do you have the camera ready to roll?"

"Oh, I already had it rolling down the cliff already," Crazy said, with the camera nowhere in sight. However, a very tired Mario brought the camera back up before Master Hand could scold his brother.

"Well... Crazy, just take the footage for our first practice shot," Master Hand ordered. "Robot Galeem, get ready to fire!"

"AFFIRMATIVE," the robot Galeem said, transforming into a void.

"We're rolling!" Crazy said, starting the recording before he decided to roll down the hill. Master Hand then gave Robot Galeem a thumbs-up.

~Final Battle from Kirby: Squeak Squad starts to play~

Robot Galeem spewed out numerous beams of light from its void form, all of them aimed for the Smashers at the cliff. Link leaped over a few of the beams, but one eventually showered him with his light and... that was it. It eventually faded into nothingness, and Link shrugged before walking away. Meanwhile, Agent Three and Agent Four tried to swim away in two trails of ink they made seconds prior, but Daisy fell down onto Agent Four and then Agent Three, stunning both of them long enough for the beams to reach them both AND Daisy.

"Bring it on, stupid beams!" Wario taunted, a beam headed straight for him.

~Final Battle stops~

Right as a beam was about to shower him with light, Wario inhaled the entire beam, taking the light right into his stomach. There, the light fused with some of Wario's undigested garlic and Wario's gastric acid. Once the three things fused, the resulting combo forced itself right back out of Wario's mouth, hurdling on back to Robot Galeem, who had reverted back to their usual form, at twice the speed.

~Eggman Empire Fortress: Mortar Canyon from Sonic Forces starts to play~

And the very instant the beam hit Robot Galeem, the robot felt nothing but pain.

"WARNINGMYDEMISEISIMMINENTREPEATMYDEMISEISIM-" Robot Galeem warned before the beam vaporized the robot.

~Eggman Empire Fortress: Mortar Canyon stops~

Everyone just stared at the burning ashes that fell down from where Robot Galeem once floated, aside from Wario, who was happily marching away.

"... On second thought, let's go with CGI for the film," Master Hand muttered.


The moon was shining above as the year's first snowfall came to the new Smash Grounds. Nearly all of the Smashers, Assist Trophy characters, and everyone who stopped by for Smash-Fest were outside, chatting the chilly night away before they had to leave.

"Alright everyone, Smash-Fest is nearly over. We'll have the first match between Mario, Pikachu, Link, Donkey Kong, Kirby, Samus, Yoshi, and Fox in just a bit, but then all those not partaking in the tournament in any fashion must leave afterwards. But don't forget, everyone is here!" Master Hand said, standing in front of the new palace.

"Waa, hold up," Waluigi said, instantly appearing next to the large hand. "What's "everyone is here" supposed to mean?"

"It's supposed to mean that everyone who matters is a part of this tournament's roster of fighters."

"What?! That's a lie!" Waluigi complained.

"Yeah! You think Waluigi doesn't matter?! And you think some of these losers you allowed here matter?!" Wario added.

"Wario, please calm dow-" Master Hand begged.

"No! We're going to show you the true meaning of "everyone is here"! Someone lay me a beat!" Wario demanded.

"On it!" Agent Four said, carrying a boombox before putting it down and turning it on.

~Menu from Super Smash Bros. Ultimate starts to play~

Suddenly, Wario and Waluigi leaped away from Master Hand and landed closer to the crowd, dabbing as soon as they touched the ground again. Once they dabbed, a text box somehow appeared on the "screen", with the following on it:

01 Wario

02 Waluigi

The box quickly disappeared, but then Falco came down from above while riding a rocket-powered sleigh, chucking gift-wrapped bread at everyone, only for the box to return on the "screen" again.

05 Falco

Crazy soon rolled through the crowd, sending some people flying before he stopped right in front of the Wario Bros.

06 Crazy Hand

After Crazy arrived, Lucario walked out of the Smasher's Palace, finally done with his shower. As soon as he took his third step outside, SpongeBob and Patrick appeared behind him, scaring him.

04 Lucario

16 SpongeBob

17 Patrick

Lucario started running away, passing by Anna, Ariados, and a dancing Zigzagoon.

08 Anna

45 Ariados

12 Zigzagoon

Once Lucario ran through the crowd, Snake was sent flying out of it, having just been beaten up by Zelda, before landing right in front of a worried Duck Hunt Dog.

9 Duck Hunt Dog

10 Solid Snake

As DHD checked on Snake, Sonic and Meta Knight rushed out of the crowd, the former giving the "screen" a thumbs-up as he ran.

39 Sonic

40 Meta Knight

~Menu stops~

Suddenly, the surrounding area got noticeably darker than before. Nearly everyone started to worry a bit, but a sudden lightning bolt crashing down by the gates caused the sudden darkness to fade back to how it was before... but when everyone looked by the gates, they only found a familiar foe floating over them...

03 Weegee

The evil meme opened his eyes right before three words appeared on the "screen".




~Menu starts again from the beginning~

Weegee teleported down between the crowd and the Wario Bros., but before he could start a fight, Malleo appeared right beside him, with Ai pulling up alongside the two meme brothers in her bumper car seconds later, forcing the will to fight out of Weegee.

07 Malleo

55 Ai Kizuna

Dr. Wily however still wished to fight as he floated in with his Wily Capsule. Mega Man ran towards his nemesis as soon as the robot spotted Wily.

15 Dr. Wily

41 Mega Man

Plankton then ran into the Smash Grounds, with Karen right behind him, but a tank fell from the sky and crushed Plankton.

32 Plankton

33 Karen

Sayori, Yuri, and Natsuki poked their heads out of the tank, with Chibi Natsuki climbing aboard the death machine.

34 Sayori

35 Yuri

36 Natsuki

37 Chibi Natsuki

Right before Chibi Natsuki could reach the top of the tank, Lord Crump, with his creases gone, crushed the chibi with his butt.

38 Lord Crump

Suddenly, the Tornadon't crash landed in the middle of the crowd, with Sanic and Teals leaping out of the wreckage.

20 Sanic

21 Teals

Dr. Eggman flew in on his Egg Mobile, with Metal Sonic sitting in a childishly designed side seat just for him, the robot looking notably upset about his seat.

30 Dr. Eggman

31 Metal Sonic

Even Bunny Lucina came to the grounds, rolling around at the speed of sound on top of a giant egg.

48 Bunny Lucina

Master Hand started sweating literal cold, frozen, and giant drops of sweat, extremely worried about all the villains suddenly showing up.

13 Master Hand

However, Lucina, Ariados, Zelda, Shadow, stood in front of the giant hand, ready to fight off the intruders.

11 Lucina

47 Ariados

52 Zelda

54 Shadow

Yet more help came as King Harkinian, Gwonam, Morshu, CD-I Link, and CD-I Zelda rode in on Gwonam's magic carpet.

22 King Harkinian

23 Gwonam

24 Morshu

25 CD-I Link

26 CD-I Zelda

~Menu stops as Credits from Hotel Mario starts~

Fat Mario and Gay Luigi also arrived, walking through the gates.

28 Fat Mario

29 Gay Luigi

~Credits stops as Menu starts again~

As the brothers walked in, Professor E. Gadd spied on them from the closest bushes.

14 Professor E. Gadd

But the CD-I heroes weren't the only CD-I characters who showed up, for CD-I Ganon rose out of Ganondorf's shadow, scaring the nearby Sandshrew and Sandslash

27 CD-I Ganon

45 Sandshrew

46 Sandslash

The ghosts of Cackletta and Fawful rose from the ground soon after, though no one noticed them at all.

56 Cackletta

57 Fawful

Mario and Luigi leaped down from above and down in front of Weegee, but Wario and Waluigi didn't want those two to be included in their version of Everyone Is Here, so Wario threw Agents Three and Four at the two brothers, knocking them down.

43 Agent Three

44 Agent Four

More help arrived as Sandy Cheeks, Frank, the owner of Palace Of Pranks, and Vaike jumped over the gates.

49 Sandy

50 Frank

51 Vaike

... Squidward also showed up, falling face-first from above.

42 Squidward

Snorlax slowly lumbered over to the grounds, annoyed that his sleep got disrupted again.

58 Snorlax

Death appeared next to Wario and Waluigi, ready to fight with them... before Sans and Papyrus poked their heads out through the cold ground.

18 Sans

19 Papyrus

59 Death

Ridley grabbed a cup of tea from AOSTH Dr. Robotnik, wanting to see how the fight would turn out...

53 Ridley

60 AOSTH Dr. Robotnik

~Menu stops again~

Suddenly, everything grew even darker than when right before Weegee arrived. However, a source of light that loomed over the gates prevented total darkness. Everyone turned, finding a Smash Bros. logo made of orange flames, with numerous figures shaped like various familiar characters. Some of the figures spoke aloud, their words echoing to everyone's ears.


"I'm your grand dad!"


But above all of those figures loomed another one. A shadowy humanoid with long hair, and the one figure to really strike fear into nearly everyone's hearts.

Patrick only had one thing to say to the figures.


Chapter Text

Episode 26: Waluigi's Campaign

DECEMBER 8th, 2018

It was an eventful day at the new Smash Grounds. Many of the Smashers were smashing and those not fighting were talking about the odd darkness and burning Smash logo in the sky from yesterday. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy Hand, Anna, and Zigzagoon however were just in Wario, Waluigi, and Anna's room, with Waluigi angrily staring at his laptop as everyone else talked to each other.

"And so I said to Toad, "Let Crazy enjoy some giant pillow with a feminine guy on it! I'm not sure why it's reminding you so much when we were playing Gmod years back!"" Falco said.

"I say we move on from talking about Toad threatening to beat people with baseball bats," Anna suggested. "Like how devilishly great Wario must be in be-"

"LIKE HOW THIS PEOPLE ONLINE KEEP MAKING FUN OF ME FOR NOT GETTING INTO SMASH AS A FIGHTER!" Waluigi growled, showing his laptop's screen to Wario. "Just look at this disgusting stuff!"

"Waa, large ads that take up most of the screen that you can't get rid of. Yeah, that is pretty filthy," Wario commented.

"What?!" Waluigi then glanced back at his laptop, finding that the ad in question was one for Super Smash Bros. Ultimate.

"Looks exactly like my Twitter timeline, only with less Smash on it," Crazy remarked.

~Death Mountain from The Legend Of Zelda: A Link Between Worlds starts to play~

"Well, that ad doesn't matter! All that matters is all these people thinking they get to mock me online for not getting into Smash, calling me a nobody and all that! They're calling nearly everybody who didn't get in this time a nobody!"

"What?! Oh, those losers aren't getting away with this! No one insults my brother like that!"

"Yeah, and it's clear the only way those losers will respect me is if I get in! So we're gonna run a campaign! A campaign for me to be more than just an Assist Trophy and to properly join the fight! Master Hand won't reject me if I get this campaign rolling! So who's with me?!"

"Waa, you know I'm in, bro!"

"Yeah, I'm in too! And if I'm in, then the Bread God will be on your side!" Falco added, holding a loaf of bread high into the air.

"I'm in until the end! And the end will likely be in two seconds! Or two eons, either one!" Crazy squealed.

"I'd help right away, but I've got some other business to attend to in just a bit," Anna stated as Lucario stood in the hall right outside the room, listening in on the conversation.

"And these idiots are up to their next idiotic scheme. Great, not even two days in," Lucario mentally groaned.

"Waa! That's what I wanted to hear!" Waluigi exclaimed. "Now, chant after me!" Waluigi took in a deep breath...

~Death Mountain stops~

... before letting out a huge waa. Literally, the "word" waa came out of his mouth, flying right into the door, knocking it and Lucario across the hall, through a window, and down onto the ground below... before the waa bounced through the same route and landed on Lucario.

"AAAAAAGH! STUPID WALUIGI! STUPID WARIO!" Lucario roared, managing to crawl out from underneath the waa's physical form. "Now my back's burning with pain!"

"Oh yeah, I forgot you hate those pests too," Ridley said.

"Any sane person would hate those maniacs! I just hate them even more than anyone else! I hate them more than they hate the thought of themselves being decent people!"

~Here's Some Weapons from Super Mario RPG: Legend Of The Seven Stars starts to play~

"Gentlemen, it sounds like we have a mutual distaste for those two brothers," a mysterious figure in a trench coat, hat, and darkness shrouding his face said, approaching the two. "And because of our mutual feelings, I say we form an alliance. We'll work together to ensure that Waluigi's wish of becoming a fighter never comes true."


"Er... you're not even going to ask my name?"

"I don't care about your name, all I care about is this alliance! It's not like you're one of the few people I hate more than those two idiots or something!"

"Well, I still want to know your name, new guy," Ridley said.

"The name's Eyeseeyou, but I prefer the name General Eyes."

"Hmm... well general, I suppose we have a deal," the Space Pirate replied.

"Excellent. I propose we take this discussion to Smashtopolis, specifically in the food court by McDonald's, where none of these fellow Smashers of yours should he-"

"YES LORD GENERAL EYES, YES!" Lucario screeched.

"... OK then. Well, uh, I'll meet you gentlemen there in an hour. So long until then..." General Eyes bolted out of the grounds, pulling out his cell phone as soon as he left. "The new, magic and hi-tech outfit worked perfectly. I managed to get that Lucario and even one of the new Smashers in on this. I still need you to meet me by the food court in an hour though," General Eyes said to the person on the other end of the line.


~Here's Some Weapons stops~

Wario, Waluigi, Falco, Crazy, and Zigzagoon were walking through the cafeteria of the new Smasher's Palace.

"Waa! Looks like lots of people are already on board with me joining as a fighter!" Waluigi said, checking the web on his cell phone as Duck Hunt Dog approached. "I see lots of them showing their support!"

"Are you sure sending out unorganized support online will be enough though?" DHD questioned.

"Of course it will! That crocodile guy got in from unorganized support alone, so Waluigi will too!" Wario replied as they walked out of the cafeteria.

"Should I tell them?" King K. Rool, who was sitting next to Fat Mario, asked.

"No," Fat Mario answered.

"Well, you should probably try a little more than get support going online anyways. Maybe we should try some stuff in real life too," Duck Hunt Dog suggested as they passed Master Hand's office. Crazy took a peek inside, finding the clock in the room had both of its hands colored purple.

"HOLY SHRIMP! Guys, come see this!" Everyone rushed over to the entrance to the floor and looked inside. "The clock's hands are purple! Do you know what that means?!"

"It's a tease! Your brother's teasing that Waluigi's going to become a fighter really soon!" Wario said with glee.

~Victory Fanfare from Final Fantasy (PSX) starts to play~

"Yeah! We did it in less than fifty-nine minutes!" Crazy said as everyone but Duck Hunt Dog started to dance in the hall. The dog just stared at them with a confused look before walking away.

"Man! What a tease! The dude thinks he's so slick, that we wouldn't realize that those clock hands undeniably have a big secret about them!" Falco remarked.

~Victory Fanfare stops with a record scratch~

"Waa! Wait! But what if it isn't a tease? What if he's just doing it to mess with our expectations?!" Waluigi suggested.

"Ooh, that's a good point. Looks like we'll have to continue our campaign, and I know just what we need to do! We need to print posters! High-quality posters that'll get everyone to want Waluigi in!" Wario stated.


The food court in Smashtopolis had few people there. Among those few people were Lucario, Ridley, General Eyes, and even Natsuki, all four of them sitting at the same table.

"So that's when Cranky Kong flailed his cane at me, insisting he'd help us kill Waluigi's hopes and dreams as long as we'd try to throw King K. Rool out of Smash afterwards. Of course, trying to throw out K. Rool would be a complete waste of time, so once we've accomplished our goal, we'll tell that old ape that he'll have to do that by himself. We're only working with him now because he might be valuable in stopping Waluigi's plans," General Eyes said to the three.

"Good, because I refuse to help that ape. K. Rool's my best friend," Ridley stated.

"Shh, he's coming!" Natsuki whispered.

~Jungle from Donkey Kong (Game Boy) starts to play~

"Hello, kiddos!" Cranky Kong said, taking a seat between Ridley and Natsuki. "Let's get talking about how we'll throw that stupid, irrelevant K. Rool out of Smash! Oh yeah, and take care of that Waluigi guy I guess."

"Yes, taking care of Waluigi. Our best way to prevent Waluigi from ever joining Smash is to convince the masses that he'd be a terrible choice. The question is, just how do we get these people to believe that Waluigi would be a poor choice of a fighter?" General Eyes inquired.

"What if we say that he wouldn't be a unique addition to the cast?" Lucario suggested. "Or perhaps that he'd be even more obnoxious in every fight he's in? No one would want to see such an obnoxious person fight even more, right?"

"We could try to tell the people he'd serve a greater purpose staying as an Assist Trophy," Ridley added.

"I say we just beat him to a pulp," Natsuki bluntly said.

"Yes! Beating K. Rool to a pulp is a brilliant idea! And then we can use his body to make paper! I volunteer being the one to pulverize him! After all, I'm the strongest one here!" Cranky claimed, angering Ridley.

"Hey, wise guy, we're focusing on taking down Waluigi first, so stop blabbering about that crocodile already," the dragon reminded Cranky.

"Can it, purple brat! Learn to respect your elders while you're at it! Old folks like me have lots of wisdom, but you kids keep on ignoring it in favor of irrelevant things! You could at least take our words to heart every once in a while."

"OK, in all fairness, Cranky is correct with that last sentence. But enough about that, and enough about K. Rool. We need to focus on Waluigi," General Eyes said. That's when Lucario's belly rumbled from hunger.

"Um... I'm going to go get some food. You guys keep thinking of ways to stop Waluigi's campaign of pain." Lucario then got out of his chair and wandered over to the McDonald's.

~Jungle stops as Viridian Forest from Pokémon: Fire Red/ Leaf Green starts~

"Alright, listen up, I've got a plan that'll for sure ruin Waluigi's dreams, but we can't tell it to Lucario. I doubt he'd approve of something like this, and I don't want to risk telling him," General Eyes whispered, leaning closer to everyone. "My idea is to claim that the Waluigi supporters are sending threats to Master Hand. All of them, sending vicious threats."

"Ooh, making up blatant lies about them! I had something in mind like that for K. Rool, but I was planning on comparing his fans to something awful. Once the public fell for it, K. Rool would get tossed out and I'd get to act high and mighty over it!"

"You sure people will believe that they're sending threats?" Ridley wondered.

"If we convince them it's all happening online, of course they will. Threats happen so often that people will instantly believe us. Besides, if they need proof so badly, we can just show them this one post from this one Waluigi fan that actually did send a threat. That will be enough for everyone to hate all of Waluigi's supporters," General Eyes said, showing Ridley his cell phone.

"Hmm... sounds good. Let's do it," Ridley muttered.

"Yeah, and then right afterwards we can spend the rest of our lives badmouthing that stupid K. Rool!" Cranky exclaimed, swinging his cane around.

~Viridian Forest stops~

"Shut up about that crocodile already, you obsessed idiot!" Natsuki replied, punching Cranky all the way over to a table where a few Kutlasses were eating. Cranky slammed face-first onto the table, squishing all their food, resulting in them attacking the old ape with their swords.


~Neon City from Wario Land: Shake It! starts to play~

Wario and Waluigi were in the palace's computer room, printing off tons of copies of their main ad for the campaign. In a matter of seconds, the entire computer room was filled with them, effectively becoming a sea of ads. As soon as Waluigi turned the printer off, several Paper Cheep Cheeps arose from the sea of paper and tried to drag the two brothers down to the bottom of the "sea".


Squidward walked out of his Moai house back in Bikini Bottom, being instantly greeted by a swarm of waterproof ads for the campaign flying right into his face. Once the ads stopped flying, Squidward discovered that it was SpongeBob and Patrick responsible for the flying paper, for they were printing the ads right in front of SpongeBob's pineapple. Right before more ads were sent flying, Squidward used a copy of Fox's Reflector to reflect the ads back at them. SpongeBob and Patrick walked right back into the pineapple before the reflected ads covered the waterproof printer. Once inside, SpongeBob stuck one of the ads, featuring a gross "realistic" version of Waluigi's face, with a thumb tack to the wall right next to the paper Doodlebob was stuck in. As soon as the ad was placed next to him, Doodlebob's face changed from a smile to a frown.


Dr. Eggman was sipping some milk within the Death Egg, watching an online video called "Remind GengarFan3 To Actually Upload His Dumb Shit On ArchiveOfOurOwn Right Away" on the large computer in the control room, when suddenly the video was replaced with an image of Waluigi dabbing in front of the burning Smash logo. Eggman threw his milk carton to the side as soon as the screen changed and rushed over to the only non-elevator exit of the room, only to discover that hoards of his robots blocking the way, all of them waa-ing just like Waluigi. The animals inside some of the robots even screamed from the constant waa-ing. Eggman screeched as Metal Sonic arrived through the elevator, unaffected by the strange Waluigi takeover. Eggman instantly leaped into the elevator and hugged Metal tightly as the door shut itself. Within a matter of seconds, Dr. Eggman and Metal Sonic left the Death Egg in the Egg Mobile before crashing into the moon... and squishing the same guy who complains about Fire Emblem. Meanwhile, right on top of the Death Egg was General Eyes, who was the one responsible for hacking Eggman's computer and most of his robots.


~Neon City stops~

The entire Smash Grounds were covered with ads for Waluigi's campaign, most of them just being posters with Waluigi saying waa on them. They were literally everywhere. Outside and inside the Smasher's Palace, on all of the stages, outside and inside the auditorium, and on the ground. A Waddle Dee had one taped to their face while Sans had them taped everywhere on his body except his face.

"How're you doing?" the Waddle Dee said in Patrick's voice to Sans.

"Wow, these are the most convincing ads I've ever seen," Shadow sarcastically said, staring at the ones on the ground. "Do these idiots seriously think they're going to get people to want him in this tournament with ads like these?" Meanwhile, right behind the hedgehog, Duck Hunt Dog covered his eyes and groaned at what the four had done.

"It's a good thing most Waluigi fans online aren't like this... too much like this, at least," Sonic added as Wario, Waluigi, and Falco stepped out of the palace.

"Look at all this. It's beautiful. So beautiful. We really did a good job on those ads, boys. Now Waluigi's a shoo-in!" Wario said with glee.

"Yeah! Now all we need to do is kick back, relax, keep our inner demons well-fed, question why Link, Zelda, and Ganondorf look so different this tournament, and relax again until the inevitable confirmation that we've achieved our goals arrives," Waluigi responded.

"Actually, you buffoons still have to get my flash drive back from Weegee too," Professor E. Gadd reminded the three.

"Waa, why did you have to remember that stupid thing?! Why couldn't you have just forgotten it?!" Waluigi whined.

"Say, come to think about it, since Zelda was the one who threw the flash drive into such danger in the first place, shouldn't she be required to help us find it too?" Falco wondered. E. Gadd stared at the trio before slowly turning around, spotting Zelda by the gates.


"GUYS! WE'VE GOT A HUGE PROBLEM!" Crazy screeched, falling from the sky.

"Yeah, you're falling from the sky!" Falco responded right before Crazy crashed right in front of them.

"No, that's not it! Check the Internet!" Waluigi glanced at his cell phone and went onto Twitter just to see what Crazy was blabbering about.

~The Castle Crumbles from Paper Mario starts to play~

"WAA! WHAT'S WITH THESE STUPID, GARBAGE LIES?!" Waluigi yelled. Wario and Falco looked over Waluigi's shoulders to get a better view of the online posts. One was from a Twitter user called Staredown, stating "Waluigi fans have been doing nothing but sending threats to Master Hand". Another was from Eggman, who posted "Waluigi and his stupid friends hacked my Death Egg and my robots to spread his idiotic Smash Bros. propaganda!1!1!". And the last was from GengarFan3, stating "Waluigi isn't attractive please stop with these lies".

"WAA! First the mock you, and now they make up lies?! That does it! These losers are getting a beating! I just need to find those punks who started the lies and throttle them!" Wario growled.

"Well, I don't know for absolute certain, but I heard from Zigzagoon who heard from a Goomba who heard from Shulk who heard from SpongeBob who heard from the web who learned from Ariados that there were some people talking about ruining Waluigi's dreams in Smashtopolis by that food court!" Crazy informed.

"Then what are we waiting for?! Let's go get those jerks!" Falco said. Wario pulled the Wario Car out of thin air and leaped into the driver's seat. Waluigi sat next to him and Falco took one of the back seats before the three drove through the gates, nearly running over E. Gadd and Zelda. However, Crazy flew right into them at the speed of sound instead, sending them both flying away from the grounds.

~The Castle Crumbles stops~

Link, who failed to realize the giant hand was Crazy Hand and instead thought the nearby Isaac used his Move Psynergy to push E. Gadd and more importantly, Zelda, away. In a fit of rage, Link started tossing many Remote Bombs at Isaac, who retaliated by using Move to bonce them back.


General Eyes was still in Smashtopolis's food court, checking the web on his cell while the rest of his allies did other things.

"Excellent. Everything's going swimmingly," General Eyes commented.

"You said it," Ridley said, staring at Cranky Kong, who was stuck in an inflatable swimming pool filled with one inch of water.

"HELP! I'M DROWNING!" Cranky cried out. "WHO'S THE IDIOT WHO THOUGHT VIDEO GAMES NEEDED WATER ANYWAYS?! BACK IN MY DAY WE JUST HAD BOTTOMLESS PITS!" As General Eyes and Ridley watched Cranky flail his arms in the pool, Lucario came along and slammed a huge book onto the table.

"And it's finished," the Aura Pokémon proudly said.

"Why Waluigi Is Better Off As An Assist Trophy..." General Eyes said, reading the title aloud.

"Yep, over nine-thousand pages as to why Waluigi is just fine as an Assist Trophy, written in just a few minutes."

"HOW MANY PAGES?!" Natsuki gasped.

"OVER 9000!" Vegeta exclaimed, appearing out of thin air while crushing a scouter.

"GODS! Monika would probably force you to join our literature club... if she was still somewhere around here. We haven't seen her in about two years," Natsuki replied.

"Yeah, she just vanished out of nowhere one night," Sayori said, coming out of nowhere. "And strangely, ever since I've taken over as club president, I've been feeling a little weird. It feels like something keeps trying to enter my min-"

"Well hello beautiful ray of sunshine!" Agent Four said, appearing right behind Sayori.

"Hold it, young one, she's eighteen," General Eyes said.

"Yeah, and I'm eighteen too!"

"No you aren't. All Inklings are fourteen or younger, you idiot," General Eyes lied.

~Panic Pit from Mario & Luigi: Dream Team starts to play~


~Panic Pit stops~

"That's hot! That's hot!" Sayori said in Will Smith's voice, disturbing Natsuki immensely. Suddenly, Oilmar zipped by with an army of Pikmin right behind them.


"What could possibly being scaring Olimar that much?" Ridley wondered.


~Showdown from Mario Party 9 starts to play~

Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy were still on their way to Smashtopolis, driving along the main road to the metropolis. Jigglypuff, who had no idea the gang in the Wario Car plus Crazy were coming because she had headphones on her ears, was soon run over by the Wario Car, getting flattened.

"Country roads, take me home!" the Vault Boy sang as he held a physical case of Fallout 76 in his hands, with a piece of cardboard in the case instead of a CD. Wario ran into him too, sending him and the case flying into the nearby Smashtopolis Dump. "Well, at least you're home, little one!" Vault Boy then threw the case at the ground before fading out of existence. Wario, Waluigi, Falco, and Crazy still moved ahead, not caring for either Jigglypuff or Vault Boy. Wario even forced the Wario Car to drive right through a giant boulder, shattering the boulder into smithereens and somehow leaving the car undamaged. A piece of the boulder fell into Wario's free hand, letting him munch on the rock.

"Grr... high in minerals... just the way I like it... grr..." Wario commented, harshly crunching as the four quickly approached Smashtopolis.


~Showdown stops~

"Eh, it's probably nothin'," General Eyes said in Jontron's voice before going back to upload more lies on the Internet.

... But then the Wario Car fell from the sky, crushing a nearby Spike with a bodypillow to death.

"OH, THAT SPIKE'S DEAD. MAYBE IF HE WASN'T SO ANNOYING I'D ACTUALLY ARREST WARIO AND WHATNOT," the police officer Goomba that chased Wario two years ago muttered as Crazy gently floated down.

"Something definitely smells fishy here..." Waluigi remarked as the trio got out of the car.

"It's probably this monkey," Wario said before sniffing Cranky. "Oof, nope, he just smells like death."

"Shut it, brainless child! If I wasn't stuck in this pool, I'd give you a good trashing and thrashing!" Cranky claimed.

"Just keep calm Lucario, those idiot's are probably just gonna focus on Cran..." Lucario said within his mind before he noticed Falco staring at his book. "... ky..."

"I knew it!" Falco said, smacking Lucario with his own book. "Lucario's behind it! And these three guys are probably in on it too!"

"And me! I'm in on it too!" Cranky added. Wario then growled, adding in even more water to the pool, causing Cranky to scream again.

"Wait, hold on, how did you guys find out about our campaign against yours? All we've done so far is make this book and started making some ads," Lucario wondered.

"We saw those lies on the web! Saying so many of Waluigi's fans were sending threats to Master Hand over him not being in Smash!" Wario yelled.

"Uh... lies? We're not behind any lies, moron," the Aura Pokémon replied. Wario swiped General Eyes's phone in the blink of an eye before ramming it right into Lucario's face.

"Then explain this little thing your little "Demon Eyes" friend was typin' up, flea bag!" Wario demanded as Lucario got a good look at the next lie General Eyes was whiping up.

~Boss Prelude from Kirby's Return To Dream Land starts to play~


"Because he's not planning on doing it, you stupid youngster! The fat one's right, we've been spreading big lies about those campaigners online behind your back!" Cranky idiotically replied, angering Ridley into add a little more water to the pool.

"And if I had enough time I would've made around seventy alternative accounts of those "Waluigi fans" to make it convincing enough to fool you," General Eyes added, taking his phone back.


"Well, I guess I don't need my itchy as hell disguise anymore," General Eyes said.

~Boss Prelude stops as Mansion (Dark Hallways) from Luigi's Mansion starts~

General Eyes took his trench coat and hat, which caused the darkness around his face to fade, revealing that it was Weegee all along. As soon as Weegee showed his face, Lucario thought back to his first encounter with "General Eyes", two certain sentences Lucario himself said back then echoing throughout his head.

"I don't care about your name, all I care about is this alliance! It's not like you're one of the few people I hate more than those two idiots or something!"


"I should've known it was you, Weegee!" Wario growled, pulling out the Dinner Blaster as Weegee put his usual green hat on.

"If you had half a brain, you would have known. Same goes for you, flea bag," Weegee remarked.

"Can it, loser! We're gonna get rid of you for good this time!" Waluigi threatened.

"No, I'm going to be the one getting rid of you. I haven't spent the last two years getting ready to finally get my revenge on you, the rest of those pesky Smashers, and that Eggman just to lose to you all again. Besides, I have two useful allies with me this time. Even if we're outnumbered, we're still stronger than you fools could ever dream of."

"Hey Ridley, just an FYI, staying on Weegee's side counts as "terrorizing people", and we both know what that'll mean to your chances of staying in the tournament," Crazy stated.

~Mansion (Dark Hallways) stops~

"OH SHIT!" Ridley cried out, instantly fleeing over to Wario, Waluigi, and company's side.

"Still to useful allies!" Cranky claimed, having finally escaped from the pool. "I can take you all down by myself even! And once I do, we'll finally throw K. Rool out of Smash! And once we do that... we'll torment him some more!" Weegee sighed as he teleported right behind the old ape.

"Just letting you know, we were never going to help you with that pointless K. Rool bullcrap," the evil meme whispered.

"Wait, WH-" Cranky said before Weegee skyrocketed him with a single kick.

"OK, now that the useless one has gotten out of the way, it's just me and my one useful ally. But we can still win easily!" Weegee claimed.

"Yeah, we're going to pummel you guys!" Natsuki added.

~Mansion (Dark Hallways) stops again as Dr. Eggman's theme from Sonic Adventure starts~

"Ah-ha! Found you pests!" Eggman said, coming down from above in his Egg Mobile as Cranky fell back down.

"What do you want, punk?! We're busy!" Wario growled.

"I want revenge! Both for ruining my tour of the Death Egg AND for hacking it and my robots today!"

~Dr. Eggman's theme stops~

"Weegee did that, actually," Cranky muttered. Natsuki then just kicked him far, far away. All the way to the kingdom of Far Far Away even.

"For once I do believe this! I knew those buffoons were too stupid to hack my beautiful Death Egg!" Eggman said.

"Waa, Crazy, didn't you hack some other place for our campaign?" Waluigi wondered.

"Sure did, and I already forgot what place I hacked!"

"Yeah, I hacked your stupid Death Egg. What are you going to do about it, dumbass?" Weegee snarled.

"I'll unleash my secret weapon on you, fool!"

"Do it then, bitch," Weegee replied, spawning a replica of his head. "My secret weapon barely has any energy left and it'll still demolish yours."

"Now that's what a true cocky bastard says. I should know, I am one on the occasion!" Falco pointed out.

~Boss - Big Arms from Sonic Generations starts to play~

"Prepare to meet your maker then, Weegee!" Eggman cackled. The Egg Mobile transformed into Big Arms in a flash, scaring nearly everyone nearby. Eggman lunged towards Weegee, who didn't even bother to move as his head replica fired a small ball of energy.

~Boss - Big Arms stops~

And as soon as the ball struck Big Arms, the machine exploded, sending the remains of it, the barely functioning Egg Mobile, and Eggman all the way back to the moon.

~Stairs Too High from Gunstar Heroes starts to play~

The energy ball however survived the collision and bounced right off, flying towards Waluigi. Instead of dodging, Waluigi took out his tennis racket.

"This is what you get for your lies, loser!" Waluigi yelled, smacking the energy ball back at Weegee.

~Stairs Too High stops~

... But Weegee easily dodged the ball by merely stepping to the side.

"Did you really think I couldn't dodge that?"

~Last Party On The Moon from the same game starts~

... But then Anna leaped towards the scene unnoticed, firing a silver bullet from a golden silenced pistol at the evil meme's back.

"AWOOOOOOOOH FUCK!" Weegee hollered, temporarily paralyzed once the bullet struck his ass cheek. Wario used this chance to uppercut Weegee into the sky, letting Waluigi jumped up after their old foe.

"Hope your ugly face gets smashed up real good this time!" Waluigi said. He slammed his tennis racket into Weegee's face, top spinning him through the skies and out of sight in the blink of an eye. Waluigi managed to land safely in the Wario Car as everyone else cheered.

"Sorry for taking so long, but at least I got some nice stuff for us," Anna said, handing Wario and Waluigi a gold pair of sunglasses each.

"Waa! They're beautiful!" Wario cackled.

"C'mon, let's all go home and have some bread. I'm starving!" Falco said. Wario and Anna got into the Wario Car.

"Do you guys think there's some other universe where similar events to Weegee's online lie and exaggeration spree happened?" Crazy wondered as they took off.


~Last Party On The Moon stops~

Gray clouds covered the skies over Weegee's Island. Almost all of the once smiling flowers were frowning, and plenty of them had turned gray over the past two years. In fact, one of the frowning flowers was slowly turning gray that day. Suddenly, Weegee zipped towards the island...

~Waluigi Pinball from Super Smash Bros. Brawl starts to play~

... and crashed into his castle's throne room, finding all of the electronic devices with screens to be showing a gif of Waluigi dancing with Skipper, Kowalski, Rico, and Private, the stereos blasting Waluigi Pinball, all of Dr. Wily's robots waa-ing, Wily himself begging for it all to end, and Malleo and Ai Kizuna dancing.

"It's all so beautiful!" Malleo cheered. Weegee then just sat on the floor with a sad look on his face for once, not even bothering to end the madness.