Alright so I’ve done some weird shit in my life, but I’m pretty sure this takes the cake. After Jake decided to be and asshole, again, I broke up with him, again, this time for good… or at least until he got his head out of his ass because I’m a sap like that.
But all in all that was pretty par for the course, what made this shit weird was the fact that the person who found and talked to me was one of the older trolls. You know the ones who had been dead for several millennia at least? So here’s this six foot eight gray dude in a fucking leather jacket, who looks like he stepped of the cover of Grease or maybe the Outsiders. He didn’t seem bothered when I started shouting about how much of a dick Jake was and seemed sympathetic about it.
Eventually I realized we were on a beach that was, considering this looked like nothing I’ve ever seen, a more troll centered part of this place. I was still raging and my face had to be red by now when his hand came up to my face and sort of lightly smacked me. His other hand had gotten a hold of my shoulder and he pulled me into a sort of half hug, I was too shocked to pull away and honestly he felt sort of nice.
He was frigid to the touch, something I didn’t know how to react to. Must be his natural temperature. Eventually I realized I had relaxed, he was sitting on the sand and I had rested my head on the junction of his shoulder near what looked like gills. My breathing was still sharp and angry, but he was rubbing my back and letting out a weird rusty, bubbly, clicking noise.
All in all it was alien and confusing and surprisingly comforting. I sighed and relaxed and just let him murmur in what sounded like their language, but modified. It sounded like what Rose said whenever she spoke in the ‘Fester Tongues’. Coming from him however it didn’t sound threatening it sounded soothing, like he was trying to comfort me.
I huffed when his hands stilled, one tangled in my hair while the other just rested on my back, “Feeling any better?”
“Loads actually,” I muttered.
I could feel a rumble in his chest and heard a sharp laugh come from him, “Didn’t knowv if that vwould vwork, considering it’s not something humans do.”
“Well congratulations, I am even weirder now. I am officially able to be comforted by an alien fish,” I said dryly.
“Not my fault you looked like you vwere about to pass out,” He said letting out a much more sarcastic laugh than before.
“That would have been acceptable, but not preferred,” I told him.
I groaned when a sharp pain shot through my skull, “And now for a migraine, what a perfect day.”
“Come here,” He muttered turning me until I was settled on his lap with both legs hanging over the side.
His arm stayed behind my back supporting me and I didn’t know what he was up to this time. His other hand came up to my head and he started to massage my temple. It felt nice; his hands were better than any ice pack and moved of their own accord. My eyes were fluttering shut and I let out a sigh.
If this was some sort of weird ass alien courting thing I would have to find out what it entailed because I’m pretty sure I could deal with hanging around this attractive weirdo every day.
I nearly jumped out of my skin when his fingers tapped my shades, a question in and of itself. I wrinkled my nose before reaching up and captchaloging them. His fingers moving to massage the sore parts of my nose and ears where the shades had dug in over the years. I let out a satisfied hum, this felt really nice. I was surprised when his fingers trailed down to massage my jaw; I hadn’t even noticed that I held it that stiff.
I hummed as he continued to massage my temples again, my migraine forgotten. I could definitely use more of this. It felt like I was drifting off, but fuck it if I was moving even an inch. I let out an irritated noise when his hand removed itself completely, only to reappear at my hand. The giggle I heard was surprisingly light hearted. I let out a confused noise when I realized that my hands were being gently unfurled and my gloves were set on my thigh.
I couldn’t tell you how long I had been turned to mush in this guys lap, but when he finally stopped and just sort of cradled me in his lap, I blinked my eyes open. He was staring at me with surprisingly wide eyes, looking quite content himself.
“As much as I hate to say it, I’m gonna have to go find the others,” I muttered sounding kinda drunk.
A frown flickered across his lips, but he nodded anyway.
“Let’s get you up then,” His voice didn’t cut through my stupor like I expected.
I mean the guys voice was a surprisingly deep rumble, but no part of me was bothered. Probably because he was directly responsible for me being in said stupor.
“Yeah, alright,” I muttered.
His hand stayed on my elbow until I stopped swaying, I put my gloves in my sylladex and pulled out my shades I slid them over my eyes and stopped. I didn’t exactly know the etiquette for a situation like this.
I stared at him for a moment chewing my lip, eventually he made up both our minds.
“See you later I guess,” He shrugged, waving as he turned around.
“Yeah,” I nodded and started looking for a way off the beach, but not before I made sure to take in what his house looked like.
House smouse that was a fucking mansion. I noticed that his shoulders had slumped and he wasn’t headed home, probably going to talk to some of the other trolls that wandered around the town.
I turned and jogged down the beach until it turned into a human suburb, Jane and John then.
“Yo,” I called as I approached the group waiting for me in their shared house.
“Hey, Dirk!” Roxy called excitedly, waving from her spot next to Jane.
“You were gone for quite awhile,” Rose said, smiling sagely.
Either she knew what had happened or was just being her smug self. Either way I’d talk to her later.
I settled on the couch taking the spot next to Jake, this earned me a strange look from Jake and a raised brow from Dave. When we broke up I usually avoided him like the plague, but after spending some time with that troll I was feeling better. Plus this would probably piss Jake off all the more.
I was right, within an hour Jake was sulking and Jane was sending us alternating looks of confusion and annoyance. She couldn’t say anything however because I was being perfectly polite, if not a little dismissive of Jake, but Jake was being a downer.
“I think that today went great,” Jade chirped having ignored Jake’s tantrum the entire time, “I need to get going for a little bit though.”
“I do as well I’m afraid, I promised Kanaya I’d see her today,” Rose chimed in, “I was actually wondering if you’d walk with me Dirk? I had a question for you.”
“Sure thing Rose,” I told her.
Eventually we all left, with the exception of Dave who appeared to be sticking to John like he was the only thing left in the world.
After we were out of earshot the interrogation began, “So you and Jake broke it off again?”
Never one to beat around the bush, “Yup, that obvious?”
“You didn’t touch him even once and he seemed… miffed about something,” She let a grin slip on her face, “However you didn’t react like usual. You seemed completely at ease. Not to mention several remarks you made towards Jake were slightly… cutting, if you’ll pardon my pun.”
“Pardoned,” I said, making my accent thicker than necessary to get a giggle from her, “And guilty. I was talking with someone earlier; he’s a pretty good listener.”
“If it were someone from our group I would have noticed them being upset with Jake, but alas there was no such information coming my way. So I shall assume it was one of our trollish companions?” She asked ‘needling’ for an answer.
“So invasive,” I said putting a hand over my heart, “Yeah, it was a troll.”
“That leaves less to sort through,” She said, I rolled my eyes.
She would probably assume it was one of ‘her’ trolls, so that would buy me some time.
“Hey, do you know any troll that won’t flip their lid if I ask about relationships? And no offense, but I kinda don’t want to ask Kanaya. I’d prefer an older one,” I told her deciding to drop a heavy hint while getting some info.
“I don’t know them well enough, but Kankri could probably direct you to someone if you’d like to risk it,” She told me with a sly grin.
I made a noise of ascent as we came up on Kanaya, “I guess so, see ya later Rose.”
“Good day Dirk,” She said as Kanaya waved at me.