It was a beautiful, warm, sunny day in Hamburg.
Birds of an exciting array of colours swept past hanging bouquets of roses and lilies, tweeting along to the wisps of cool summer breeze. Winding, the cobbled streets of Hamburg led people down to the market square, green and red wood panels telling each excited tourist the name of each shop.
Greta’s Groceries. Ralf’s Rum. Heidi’s Home Furnishings. Picturesque shops with beautiful displays.
Right at the bottom of the market square, however, was Franz’s Fancies. Candies, chocolates, marshmallows in the shape of ducks. It was the cavity-infested sugar dream of any child.
The packaging, bright and enticing, showed the care given to each piece of candy in the shop. Swirls of pink here, drops of blue there. Sugar icing and rainbow sprinkles dominated, for certain.
“Und have a lovely daaaay~” Came the loud yet proud of the owner, Franz Klinemann himself. He stood at the red counter of the shop, his white suit almost as blinding as his smile. If you were to walk into the shop and speak but one line to the owner, you would think one overwhelming thought about him; gay.
However, if you were one of the lucky few who would catch the friendly German on a rather calm day in the store, he would tell you about his three favourite people.
The first favourite person was his mother, Hilda. The two were as close as mother and son could be without the relationship seeming very wrong. Although the two had been through some rough patches (Hilda wouldn’t let Franz play Maria in the school production of Sound of Music, Hilda made Franz go to America to create clean, pure and efficient streets despite the man not wanting to go, Franz found Hilda in a German erotic movie called ‘scheisse on mein tits’), they were now besties!
Franz’s second favourite person was Falco. He was a cool dude who could sing songs.
Franz’s third favourite person was his girlfriend, Anita. She was loud, controlling, strong and powerful; everything Franz could have wished for and MORE. The two had gotten off on a rocky patch, with Franz’s mother and him attempting to take away the very essence of the city she was destined to become the mayor of and all. However, they managed to find love in a what seemed impossible situation.
Franz loved Anita’s determination to never, ever give up on any dream. Anita loved Franz sensitive, calm nature. The two mixed like cocoa and butter; bitter and soft, brown and yellow. They came together to create something beautiful; a relationship built on trust and respect.
Yes, as surprising as it was, Franz Klinemann of Franz’s fancies was not gay. He was, in fact, attracted to Anita. Just Anita. There was something about that sweaty back, messy hair, loud voice and grandma sense of dress that made him weak at the knees.
Franz sipped at his lavender and rosemary tea as he read the latest letter from Anita.
As it turns out, being mayor is harder than I thought it would be. I have to go to meetings... EW! I stand there and pretend to look interested for hours, and then I’m expected to give a Mayor’s Report. And then, Franz, I make one liiittle joke about assassinating myself and the entirety of West Hollywood goes crazy.
So I quit.
And I’m getting the next flight to Hamburg! We’re gonna be ROOM MATES, BABY CAKES!!!
Your Anita Bath
Ex-Mayor of West Hollywood.
The ink began to run down the page due to a rather excellent spit-take executed by Franz.
“Anita, moving here? Oh God!”
Franz Fancies remained closed for the rest of the day.
Anita walked out of the airport, Protester Number One carrying all of her luggage for her. Of course, even after becoming mayor, she kept in touch with her groupies; occasional bong hits and passes of a joint were sometimes the only way she got through the long, lonely months without her German boyfriend.
Aww, he was a cutie! How long had it been since he last visited? Five months. Gosh, that was a long time ago! She remembered it fondly, though.
She had been voted in as Mayor, and Franz had come as support. They had a nice meal at the delicious old Arby’s, and went to the Acid Wash Show at the Bourbon, met up with Dennis and Lonny, went to a random protest on the outskirts of town. That was when Anita learned that, as Mayor, you can’t really protest because what ever you say goes.
They had a good time together.
She totally didn’t cry herself to sleep every night for a month after he left, either. Maybe that was what made it really hard to be mayor?
Her ex-boss was comforted by money. Anita? She was comforted by her groupies and by Franz.
Money, to her, was never quite the same as good old human interaction.
Soon, though, she’d be in Franz’s arms. They could kiss and eat candy and watch cartoons. It would be kick ass!
“Hamburg, here I come!” She exclaimed, punching the air as she pushed a small child out of her way.