"This is going to be weird." Eliza's smile dropped a little, and Alycia swallowed thickly. Her throat had constricted due to the emotion building in her chest.
The heart really did feel.
"Our last scene together." Alycia sighed. Eliza put a hand on her friend's shoulder, brightening her smile. They were on set, filming episode nine of their TV show, The 100: Thirteen. It was going to be a difficult episode.
"Maybe not? I mean, we could always be in movies together. Besides, this isn't the end of us." The blonde reassured. They turned as a voice sounded behind them.
"No way, we're all way too close." Marie grinned, walking up behind the two girls.
"That's true. I've gained a group of friends from this series, I'm grateful." Alycia forced a smile, though in truth, she was scared. She'd never died before, obviously. In movies, it had been different, because that was acting. Now, the actress was worried that it might feel a little too real because of how she felt about the woman whose hand rested lightly on her arm.
"Exactly. I say we all head out for drinks afterwards. Bob was talking about it earlier, when we were on the phone." Marie smiled. She was already grubby and filthy thanks to makeup. Her hair was in thick strands and her clothes were ruined. But that was normal for the cast, they all looked dirty. Marie was just the one who was happiest and uncaring once she'd been through makeup.
"Let's get this over with, okay?" Eliza sighed, seeing the behind-the-scenes crew readying up.
"I'll be shooting my own scenes later, so I'll expect you guys to show me some support as well." Marie beamed in her happy way. Her voice often lacked variety, but recently she seemed far more chipper. The other actresses had noticed and supported it wholeheartedly.
"Absolutely." Eliza nodded, ushering Alycia towards their positions.
"It's a shame the fun scene is already over. I could have filmed that all day." The brunette laughed, nervously.
Eliza nodded and agreed. She got ready to act, and before she knew it, the word action bounced around the set.
'Murphy' is tied up, and immediately Eliza is gone, replaced by Clarke Griffin, and the world she is in is The 100.
"Murphy?" She whispers, seeing him unconscious and gagged. She rushes to his side, confusion clear as day on her face as she frantically fiddled with chains.
"He's alive." Titus speaks, approaching from nowhere. Clarke, obviously startled, turns to face him. It is obvious that she doesn't understand the situation, but Titus just takes a couple steps forward before stopping.
"What did you do to my friend?" Her voice is low, and calculating.
The camera focuses on different angles as Titus answers plainly, "Your friend was caught stealing from people on their way to the Polis market."
Clarke starts to remove the fabric trapped between the boy's teeth, saying, "Hey, you're okay-"
"-Please don't do that." Titus' accent is heavy as he interrupts, and Clarke just eyes him with distrust, soon replaced by shock when a gun is pulled from the Flamekeeper's robes. Clarke rises, eyes marginally wider.
Her hands raised, she questions, "Titus, what is this about?" Her voice doesn't betray her shock, staying calm.
The man starts walking again, taking slow steps whilst both Murphy's and Clarke's eyes are stuck to him, "I'm sorry it had to come to this, Clarke," The blonde shakes her head, "Truly, I am."
With steady nods, desperation seeping into her voice, betraying her, "Look, I'm leaving, right now. Octavia's waiting for me." Her eyes flicker to Murphy's, "Just let me take Murphy and we'll go."
"Wish I could," The gun rises and is pointed squarely at the blonde, who's breathing hitches, "Lexa will never execute her duty while you live."
"Titus, think. She's gonna know it was you."
With a small flick, Titus gestures the gun at Murphy, "She'll think it was him. A Skaikru weapon, in the hands of a Skaikru thief." His voice raised, and Clarke's eyebrows bunched in fear, "She might even be angry enough to declare war!" A ping and the bullet misses Clarke, hitting something metallic behind her as she dives out of its path.
Titus' aim is unsteady as Clarke darts from behind her cover, and he fires again. Pottery breaks from the second bullet's impact, and she picks up wooden frames to throw at him, self defence flooding her. A solid connection, and he topples, Clarke using the distraction to run, eyes on him and breathing erratic. In a flash, Titus twists on his hand and knees to fire a bullet at the blonde.
"Lexa." Clarke breathes. The brunette stumbles back, her jaw slack, unable to fully process the pain from the shock. Her eyes glance down at the dark liquid seeping out from the hole in her body, hands coming away slick as she grunts. She hadn't expected to suddenly be full of fear. It flooded every inch of her, though she was just as shell-shocked as Clarke. The gun drops heavily as Titus immediately knows his mistake was of massive proportion as he calls to the Commander.
But Lexa's eyes look up, finding Clarke's before her knees give out.
"No. No." Clarke's mind races, and her chest constricts so realistically that it shocks her more. She goes to catch her lover, sinking to the floor with her, panicking and unable to stop feeling that immovable weight in her chest.
The heart really did feel.
Her breathing is sharp and ragged as Titus is suddenly there, just as unsteady and unsure, but not in the same pain.
"Help me get her to the bed!" Clarke orders frantically, Murphy watching on in horror as he witnesses it all. Titus scoops the Commander up in his arms, and Clarke follows as he moves her to the bed.
"What have I done?" His grief filled voice is thick, but it is barely noticed. Clarke is too busy focusing on the laboured breathes of Lexa. It hurts. More than she'd imagined this ever would and she finds herself trying to dial back her emotions to no avail.
She's only just able to stop the scream from leaving her.
"I need something to stop the bleeding." Clarke barks, Titus eager to obey. She's quickly by Lexa's side applying pressure to the wound. It's sticky and unpleasant. The brunette writhes and struggles for air.
"You'll be okay," Clarke assures, for her own benefit as well, "Just lie still, okay? Lie still."
Lexa's bloody hands cover the blonde's, and her eyes are glossy and unfocused, taking short sharp breathes as she meets Clarke's worried gaze, "Don't be afraid." She soothes, sounding more frightened than she wanted, the unknown on the brink. Her pulse soars.
That only saddens Clarke more as Titus reappears with some unknown fabrics, "You're gonna be fine. Just stay still." She repeats. She tears the stained shirt open, to reveal the thick black blood forming a puddle on Lexa's skin. And Clarke just knows. Her hope fights fiercely, but Titus looks grim as he pulls out a bundle from his pocket, trying to ignore how Lexa is convulsing and spasming from the pain.
He begins to unwrap the red material as the Commander fights for her breaths, Clarke trying to combat the wound.
"She's losing too much blood." She asses, wiping as much as possible away. Titus reveals a thin, rectangular tin, with a skull printed on the front, the paint damaged by age.
"Stay with me." Clarke begs, watching Lexa suffer, feeling like she too can't breathe. The lid on the tin slides off, and Titus lays it out neatly, calmly. He's done this before. The blonde just bunches up the stained fabrics and presses it tightly the the hole in Lexa's middle, praying for a miracle. She does a double take at the instruments Titus has and she is once again confused.
"What the hell is that?" Her voice is scared, but only because of the situation, and the fact she might just be dying herself.
She's ignored, the Flamekeeper just pulling out more utensils, Murphy's worried eyes on them, "Titus, what are you doing?" She asks desperately.
"Hnng," Lexa groans and Clarke's eyes dart between her and Titus, confused, overwhelmed and frightened. The majority of her being denied that this was even real. Was it real? It felt like it.
Eyes wide, Clarke nods encouragingly, "I will fix you." She assures, "Just stay with me."
Suddenly, by Lexa's head, Titus attracts Lexa's gaze, her eyes on him as he approaches.
"Oh, no, get away from her." Clarke bites, but Lexa forces a nod and the blonde's heart just stops.
His two hands sandwich Lexa's face as he looks sincerely, sorrowfully, into her eyes, "Forgive me, Heda." He whispers.
"Yu nou trana bash op Klark nodotaim nowe." Lexa struggled, "Swega em Klin." (You will never again attempt to harm Clarke. Swear it.) Her voice is thick with not only pain, but the anger she feels, the betrayal. She squeezes one last promise out Titus who nods, his eyes gleaming with unshed tears.
"Ai swega em klin." He whispers. (I swear it).
Lexa nods, seemingly more peaceful and accepting, nodding and closing her eyes, lips pressed together as a tear slips down her cheek.
"Den dula yu job op." (Then do your job.) She commands, with nowhere near as much strength as Clarke was used to hearing from the Commander, her voice is unsteady, "Badan neson-de op kom we don badan Ai op," (Serve the next as you have served me), she paused before whispering, "Fleimkepa..." (Flamekeeper.)
Titus nods, overcome, and leaves, standing in the middle of the room trying to process. Clarke is there, holding her hands and filling Lexa's eyesight.
"Hey, Heda, don't you dare give up." She pleads, shaking her head.
Lexa merely mutters, "I'm not," Her voice soft, and unconvincing, "My spirit," She pauses, "Will live on."
"No!" The blonde's tone is strong, forceful, unable to accept that as an answer, "I am not letting you die." She is full of conviction, her grief subsiding from fleeting hope.
"There's nothing you can do now." Lexa admits quietly, but honestly. Clarke recoils, as if burned, her lips tremble and she frowns at the words, denial gripping her.
"The next Commander will protect you." The brunette promises with earnest eyes. She feels as if she really is going somewhere, a place without Clarke. She is briefly grief stricken with how lonely that will be.
"I don't want the next Commander." Lexa shakes her head, begging Clarke not to finish that sentence, but she does so with utter conviction, "I want you."
"I'm ready Heda." Titus announces grimly, and an utter desperation grips at Clarke, the terror of losing Lexa in full swing. Her eyes hold the Commander's for a moment before watching Titus. He must've released Murphy at some point, because the boy is now stood up.
Titus dips a finger into the pool of Lexa's blood and wordlessly draws a line across his face. Lexa's eyes are on Clarke. She tries to remain brave, fighting under the surface. The time they had was so little.
"Clarke..." She savours the word. It might be the last it crosses her lips again, and her heart spams in pain at the thought.
"I'm here." The blonde clutches her hands, voice laced with the hurt inside her.
"Ai gonplei ste odon." Her voice is quiet, wavering and Clarke's denial hits her in full force. Her heart flips in rejection.
"No." Clarke's emotion thickening her voice, "No, I won't accept that." Her jaw tightens and her lips press together.
A sad smile crosses the features of the girl she loves, "You were right Clarke," She says, "Life is about more than just surviving."
The tears sting her eyes as the blonde's head shakes, and her blood stained hand rests atop Lexa's head, stroking soothingly, as she releases a painful sigh. The brunette's smile turns grim as she struggles her own emotions, eyes brimming. She closes them and just focuses on breathing, on Clarke's hand, trying to block out her crushed sobs and sniffles of heartbreak.
Clarke takes a deep breath, and goes to speak, before drawing another to steady her voice, "In peace may you leave the shore," Her face crumples as Lexa's eyebrow twitches in confusion. Titus stops, watching Clarke with sudden interest, "In love may you find the next." Her voice cracks as she keeps attention on Lexa, "Safe passage on your travels," Lexa shudders and Clarke almost forgets her next lines, "Until our final journey on the ground." She finishes, stare captured by the dying green eyes rapidly losing life in front of her.
The words are forced to leave her throat, "May we meet again." She cries. Lexa's unblinking eyes hold hers as slips away, and Titus and Murphy watch in utter reverence. Clarke dips her head and lowers her lips onto the chilly, supple mouth of her lovers, the one the kiss belongs to. It is the sweetest of farewells, and the hardest of goodbyes. She pulls back and opens her eyes to watch Lexa's face. Her eyes, always on Clarke, lose focus, and a long breath leaves her.
Only then does Clarke lose it. She cries, her body quivering in agony and tumultuous pain. Her heart aches so much she wonders if it hasn't been torn from its confines behind her ribs. The dull ache that springs into her temples worsens as every cell in her body revolts to a world of no Lexa. She barely has the thought to slid her eyelids down with bloodstained hands. The rest of the scene becomes incomprehensible until someone barks a word that usually brought her out of her character.
-"And cut!" The director called. Eliza blinked a couple times to exit Clarke Griffin and gather herself. She still felt as if she was losing someone as dear to her as her own self. Her heart still ached.
"Are you in as much pain as I am?" Alycia whispered, Australian lilt back. Eliza blinked in shock.
"Yes." Her voice was hollow. Jason approached with a comforting smile.
"Good job Eliza, that was the one." He commended, "I think you two have both earned a break after the heaviness of that, so why don't you grab some comfort food."
With a nod, Eliza turned back to Alycia, who was sitting up now. She still had black on her lips, and without thinking, Eliza swiped at it with her thumb.
"There. I wanted to do that the entire time." She smiled. She tried to convince herself that it was over now, the scene was done, the feelings weren't real, she hadn't lost anything.
Except she had. She'd lost the love of her life, and still felt it. Alycia muttered her gratitude, seemingly unaffected by the contact as she stood.
"That was..." Her voice trailed off, and Alycia nodded.
"It was. We get a small reprieve, but I want to go watch Marie shoot her scene in a few, so if you need some alone time, or gather yourself, you'll have it." Alycia suggested, hugging her friend. Eliza returned it gingerly.
"Thanks, but I'll show some support too." She replied. They pulled back and just looked at each other, before Alycia blurted,
"I'm glad you're here."
Eliza blinked, but smiled, feeling genuine, "I'm glad you're not dead."
Alycia nodded, smirking and feeling more herself, "Good."