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ASBusinessMagnet's CinemaSins parodies

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Everything Wrong With
"Everything Wrong With Inside Out In 10 Minutes Or Less"
Spoilers!!
(duh..)


1. What's up with the strange formatting of the title card? I keep reading it as "Inside Everything Wrong With Out in 10 minutes or less".

2. [1] 45 seconds of two freaking logos... as usual. "X seconds of logos" cliché, updated for all your Disney/Pixar needs.

3. [3] This baby memory should have fallen off the track and smashed on the floor... Except we know that memories don't smash and break apart.

4. [6] Also, movie steals its entire premise from Herman's Head. In case Honest Trailers hasn't hammered that fact into your head already.

5. [8] No Love, no Loyalty, no Competitive Spirit, no Logic, no... Half of these aren't even emotions.

6. [10] ...even though they are all within "stopping Anger from pulling these levers" distance. Okay, but: Anger's head is literally ablaze, and the emotions know they have to stay away from the fire.

7. [15] And we five emotions [...] have NO SAY in the matter whatsoever. Except their console is extremely limited and mostly works by making Riley remember stuff.

8. [22] Why would Anger, Sadness, Fear and Disgust have some sort of weird say in how this room looks? Because they discussed Riley's dream house just minutes of screentime before?

9. [23] Why does the moving van status... Subtitles say "why" yet narration says "how".

10. [29] Parent openly discusses family financial trouble... No, I'm pretty sure he's discussing an enterprise here.

11. [39] What if her parents suddenly moved back to Minnesota... Then, as it's only a temporary trip to San Francisco, Riley's father would have gone alone and not taken the whole family.

12. [40] Why are all of Mom's emotions female, and Riley's emotions live in a coed dorm? If you closely watch the end credits scene, the improbable broccoli pizza cashier also has emotions of both genders, so maybe we can't make a definite rule yet.

13. [41] That's racist, but also impractical. I think you mean "sexist".

14. [43] "Prometheus School of Running Away from Things" cliché.

15. [44] Why is Sadness pretending to know which way to go? Because Joy stuck her in the corner and forced her to read the Mind Manuals?

16. [45] …but Riley is a Millennial, and it's doubtful she EVER memorized phone numbers. Except a memory is created pretty much every time any of the emotions clicks on something, which means that even if Riley only saw the phone number for a split second, there would still be a memory of it.

17. [46] …but isn't she… kind of happy singing this song? Well, have you considered the fact that the memory itself is a Joy memory? Once again, emotions literally depend on memories to make Riley do stuff.

18. [47] How do these emotions "stay happy?" Movie already has lampshaded this: [Disgust] Great idea! Anger, Fear, Disgust… How are we supposed to be happy?

19. [48] Apparently, Riley's long-lost imaginary friend goes around… stealing long-term memories? CinemaSins steals jokes from How It Should Have Ended.

20. [50] How does news about various emotions travel outside of headquarters to imaginary friends or employees of a human head? Well, if I had to guess, Dream Productions directly intercepts Riley's memories of the day and relays them to everyone else, and the Mind Workers occasionally come to Headquarters to maintain/upgrade the console. Plus, the Train of Thought passes by Headquarters every once in a while.

21. [50] Is that the weirdest thing I've ever written? Yes it is! Self-deprecatory humor: appropriate for a parody movie, completely out of place in a highly sarcastic movie review that still tries its best to take itself seriously.

22. [50] Also, you're speaking your lines, not writing them.

23. [50] Also, you missed a comma there.

24. [54] How was Riley talked into playing hockey again? Maybe she wasn't, and was just enrolled against her own will? Wouldn't seem to be too unreasonable for an 11 year old.

25. [55] But the heart never makes an appearance in this movie… physically speaking. Neither does the brain.

26. [56] Do not make fun of anything while Bing Bong is sad. That's a rule.

27. [61] How is a vacuum cleaner a subconscious thing…? You forgot we're not in an actual representation of a human mind, but rather a Sigmund Freud theme park that just sort of happens to be linked to a human being.

28. [62] Instead of lifting up the balloon cage, Joy tries to do this. If the subconscious guards have superspeed and got Bing Bong down there that quickly, they also probably took the time to tie the balloon cage to Jangles.

29. [67] Annnnnd now that Joy's fallen down here with Bing Bong, it means it's a harmless fall because this movie is NOT going to kill Joy… Except you're watching this with a wealth of knowledge about previous movies, and therefore know about the "main character immunity" cliché. A kid for whom Inside Out is literally the first movie they've ever watched would have no idea.

30. [67] Also, Killjoy.

31. [68] HOW could this kid have forgotten this first day of school sadness in the few days since it happened?! That's literally not possible! You're forgetting that just before this scene, we saw at least several dozen perfectly good memories fall down to The Pit due to the discount Roland Emmerich scene.

32. [69] So, the stories were made up by you assholes too. Once again, the emotions don't have anything even resembling a QWERTY keyboard on that console. They're relying on Riley's memories, ideas, daydreams and et cetera to run her.

33. [71] And it looks like a giant book. How the f*ck did that get down here? From Imagination Land, which, like everything in this mind, is literally on the edge of forgetfulness?

34. [76] ...but then she said his name again. Then sin every time Bing Bong's name is said.

35. [79 and 80, take two] Sin narration accidentally splits the word "fashion".

36. [80, take two] ...but a year later there's a whole Caribbean out there... Except there are exactly nine streams coming from the Core Memories, meaning that there are exactly nine of them and exactly nine Personality Islands.

35. [back to 79] Cinema Sins genuinely laughed.

36. [81] You ARE that girl! ! No, they're not.

37. [back to 80] What should have been a reverse ding is a proper ding.

38. Sentence does not relate in any way to the movie.

39. [end credits, Back to the Future part] Okay, but... Pixar referenced the part where Marty's hand disappears, and not Dave's head!


Video Sin Tally: 39
Sentence:


Bonus Round: Every curseword in this review of a children's movie

40. [2] ...some narration in this bitch.

41. [5] ...wouldn't have given two s*its about it.

42. [9] ...we're still sinning this because we're assholes.

43. [16] Damn... that is a lot of Long-Term memories...

44. [34] Way to go, slack-ass emotions.

45. [37] Movie puts a whole bunch of bulls*it...

46. [52] ...inventing ways out of its bulls*it scenarios...

47. [60] Goddamn. I know it's common...

94. [60] That s*it is DELICIOUS AND NUTRITIOUS. [x2, same sin]

95. [65] Joy is a dick! !

96. [67] ...the earlier cheap-tension-train bulls*it even further!

97. [69] So, the stories were made up by you assholes too.

98. [71] Why is there a f*cking ramp in the middle of all these forgotten memories?

196. [71] How the f*ck did that get down here? [x2, same sin]

197. [78] ...just because of all the s*it she's going through...

394. [78] You can't just pick and choose that s*it, yo. [x2, same sin]

395. [80] Indeed, but that rainbow wagon rocket s*it worked...

396. [back to 78] Well, we've been dicks to this movie...

397. [80, take two] ...with 5 f*cking islands...


Video Sin Tally: 397
Sentence:


Bonus Round #2: Every sin that Cinema Sins missed (i.e. stay true to the "everything", for crying out loud - x2 each)

794. Fear would be great at this parody of Cinema Sins. Unfortunately, though, he's not good enough for the real deal.

1,588. Wait, so how are the upper shelves of Long-Term Memory even maintained?

3,176. No pointing out that Joy could have sent up Riley's Core Memories the same way the Mind Workers sent up the Triple-Dent Gum memory.

6,352. "uuuuh but How It Should Have Ended did that" No excuse. Cinema Sins stole the "stealing Riley's memories" part.

12,704. "uuuuh but the memory would have returned after being played" Except they were able to take down the happy-turned-sad hockey memory just before Joy and Sadness's accident.

25,408. Discount Harry Styles.

50,816. Discount Roland Emmerich.

101,632. No trace of the bright memories that fell down into the pit.

203,264. [end credits sequence, as Joy and Sadness are travelling down the recall tube; quote from Portal 2] Woooo! I KNEW this would be fun. They told me it wasn't fun at all, and I BELIEVED 'em! Ah! I'm loving this! Whale of a time...


Video Sin Tally: 203,264
Sentence: Subconscious (the CinemaSins Edition)
"...something we're VAGUELY aware of but we're not quite sure it's real?"


Video Runtime: 11:20 [680 seconds]
Inside Out Runtime: 1:34:40 [5680 seconds]
Inside Out Sin Tally: 88 [80 + 8 that Cinema Sins missed]

Proportion by which this video is worse than Inside Out itself: 19,293.77