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Chapter Text

Jaejoong was looking at a painting on the wall. Another painting in the National Museum of Korea in the new music sector. The museum just opened a new exhibit dedicated to all things music from idols to folk music. The canvas he was admiring looked ragged and ruff like the object has been moved around from museum to museum for the past hundred years. The painting was rather simple, it conveyed a group of men wearing what looked like hanbok's and playing traditional instruments in a forest. Flowers were blossomed around them and trees that outstretched to the sky. The men all had tanned skin that was possibly caused from the blazing sun over them peeking through the trees. But the painting beside the canvas is what grasp Jaejoong's attention. In the center of the painting was a Gayageum but it dented and chipped all around. The colour around the Gayageum was in dark hues that faded into one black hole. It was staring at him like it was trying to tell him something. He looked at the painting like he was trying to find the meaning of life. Right when he thought his eyes were going to bulge out of his face for over analyzing the painting wine glass suddenly appeared in his face blocking his focus.

"The painting is about the artist thinking that no one pays attention to traditional music anymore and the music industry in damaged" A women wearing an all-black slim dress just around 5'4 said smiling at him.

"What makes you think I want to know?" Jaejoong said smirking down at her and taking the glass from her hand.

"You were looking at the photo for a good 10 minutes in a daze" She said raising her eyebrows and folding her arms in front of her chest.

"Were you watching me?" he said squinting at her.

"So what if I was," she huffed "can I at least get a thank you?"

"Thank you baby, what would I do without you" He said as he wrapped his arm around her waist.

"I honestly don't know what you would do without me" she said leaning into his touch. This woman was none other than Amaterasu a rising star in Japan, known for with her youthful face and outstanding vocals at the age of 28. With jet black straight hair that goes down just below her bum and long creamy legs that match well with her black stiletto's. She was also Kim Jaejoong's Girlfriend of one year. When the press caught them on a date in Tokyo right after a JYJ concert at the Tokyo Dome, sometime mid-June, fans went mental to find out that the doe eyed male was finally taken, but in their fans supported the couple because they genuinely looked happy together. Amaterasu turned and kissed Jaejoong on the cheek, and linked their arms together.

"We should go to the main hall. The ceremony is about to start," she said with a smile.


The main hall of the museum was elegant and polished. Art painted on the ceiling accompanied with chandelier's dangling gracefully, the walls were cream coloured accompanied with wooden floors. Around the hall were accent tables with silk cloth draped over them and orchid flowers sitting in the middle. People around them were styled in suit and ties and dresses, talking and laughing among each other with wine glasses in their hands as the couple walked in. Jaejoong felt something off as some people around started talking in hushed tones. Some of his friends around him looked at him with worried glances and he couldn't help but feel a bit uneasy. He looked around and at the corner of his eyes he saw the reason.

Jung Yunho.

He knows that figure anywhere. He lived with that man for 10 years. He was his best friend for 9 years.

He was in love with that man for... he even doesn't know.

And then the said man turned around, their eyes locked and memories crept under his skin like termites' eating at wood.

Their first kiss
The stars and moon in the sky radiated the city of Seoul. Jaejoong and Yunho were laying in their bed, tired from another long schedule, Jaejoong had his head on Yunho’s chest as the other put his arms around the other protectively. They could hear Junsu and Changmin fighting in one of the bedrooms down the hall and Yoochun complaining annoyingly about how he wants to sleep.

"Do you think they would ever stop" Jaejoong asked looking up to look into Yunho's almond eyes.

"It would have to take them to be physically moved from each other for them to start fighting but even then Changmin would find a way to cause trouble towards su" Yunho said as he pulled Jaejoong more into his chest.

Jaejoong giggled against Yunho's chest. It was times like these that makes Jaejoong's heart flutter in his chest. The members and thousands of people teased them of acting like a married couple and he can't help but agree with. Jaejoong knew his feeling for Yunho but would probably never tell them to him. He just couldn't put their friendship at risk, and Korea wasn't that friendly when it came to people who were gay. He wished things were different here, he wished he wouldn't be judged for just being himself. Jaejoong just hid his face further in Yunho's chest finding comfort in his scent and falling into a slumber.

The next morning, Jaejoong opened his eyes to see Yunho's back rising and falling softly. Why did he have to fall for a Yunho? Of everyone around them. Why not a girl? Of all people. It had to be Jung Yunho. Jaejoong sighed and got out of bed.

He needed some air.

Seoul at the time of 4:45 am was quiet and no one was out. He walked down the streets with his black hoodie and a mask hiding his face even though it was unlikely for someone to recognize him. He knew there was a big schedule for them today but he really didn't care at the moment. He's stuck in a Career where he's in love his band member and he doesn't know how the hell to deal with it. The stars were still out and almost mocking at him as he walked. They gleamed with might as he was tired and feeling like someone just ran over his heart at least 20 times.
He had to deal with his feelings fast.

After walking down Han River he thought of one solution.

Just slowly detach himself from him, don't sleep in the same bed, don’t feed each other, don’t stay by his side all the time.


Don’t love him, because one day he will find someone else and look at them the way you wished he’d looked at you and hold them like he used to with you but with more affection. He will have children you know you can't give him. He will be happy with someone else, that's not you.

And so that's what he did, he was doing well for a good month, all while getting looked at funny because he wasn't glued onto Yunho as usual. Yunho often asked if he was mad at him or something, but he assured him with the brightest smile he could pull off saying " I'm fine Yunho-ah, I'm not mad."

But it was when Yunho announced that he was going to spend time with his friends at a bar that the group knew something was up. Jaejoong had planned a dinner for everyone and was putting on a movie that he does when they have time off. Jaejoong turned around to Yunho about to glare at him.

Don't get attached...

A little whisper in his head said and instead he smiled at him.

"Have fun don’t get too drunk okay," He said and did an okay sign with his hand then turned around and continued with picking a movie.

Changmin's noodles fell out of his mouth as he looked at the scene. He was so ready to roll his eyes and another Jaejoong tantrum but instead he looked at Yunho - who had a similar look on his face - then back to Junsu and Yoochun who were looking at each other like they just saw a ghost. Changmin who then looked back at Jaejoong, who was softly humming and shaking his tiny hips picking a movie to put into the DVD player.

Jaejoong felt a sudden tension at the back of his head and pouted at them.

"What..." He asked shyly.

"You're not mad?" Yunho asked almost scared.

"Why would I be mad?" Jaejoong asked innocently.

"You’re always mad when hyung goes out with his friends," Junsu's high voice flaunted the room.

"Well I'm not, you should have fun with your friends" Jaejoong smiled slightly.

"Are you sure?" Yunho asked needing reassurance.

"Yes! Now go I'm trying to pick a movie here," he said shaking the handful of movies in his hands.

"Okay..." Yunho finally said before walking out the door. Jaejoong turned around looking at the other members.

"I'm stuck on these two movies" Jaejoong said filling his cheeks with air and holding up two movies beside his face.

Later, that night when the food was done and Yoochun was asleep, Yunho came home. His night out with his friends failed horribly as all he could think of was Jaejoong distancing himself from him. He hasn't realized how much they were so closely bonded together he and Jaejoong were until he started acting different. Not being so close to him when they sit next to each other, at first he didn't really notice but eventually there was a whole two fist of air between them. Like him not sleeping on his chest when he can't sleep or not sleeping in his bed at all. It was different. Not having anyone to hold in bed.

He was about to walk into his room and go to bed but this itching feeling was telling him he needed to talk to Jaejoong now. So he went to the only place he knew Jaejoong would be. His music room. He balled his fist and knocked on the door. He waited a couple seconds before he heard a faint 'come in'. He turned the door knob and walked in.

Jaejoong sat in his black chair with his headphones on. He had a pair of sweatpants on and a shirt that was a little big on him for the shirt was hanging off of his shoulder. Jaejoong turned around, stopped his movements and looked up with Yunho with his naturally wide eyes.

"Oh, you’re back. You’re pretty early today." Jaejoong exclaimed.

"Yeah, I left early because I wanted to talk to you" Yunho said.

"Oh, what do you want to talk about?"

Yunho kneeled down to take both of Jaejoong's hands in his own. Jaejoong's first instinct was to flinch away from him. Yunho sighed and pulled away before standing back up.

"This is what I wanted to talk to you about, whenever I go to touch you or anything you flinch or step away from me,“ Yunho looked down at his hands "Did I do something to scare you or harm you in anyway? I'm sorry if I did something bad to you, I didn't mean it"

Jaejoong started to panic.

"No, no, no," He said shaking his head, "It's nothing really, I'm fine Yunho, and you are amazing and would never do something like that to me or anyone for that matter"

" But you are not sleeping in the same bed anymore or talking to me as much as we used to, you don't even sit beside me in interviews" Was I really that noticeable? Jaejoong thought to himself.

"No, it's not like that it's..." Jaejoong stopped himself before he said something he would regret.

"It's what?" Yunho asked curious.


"See! You're closing yourself from me," Yunho howled. "It's like I'm talking to a wall with you. What happened please tell me why you are closing me out! Are you stressed? Did someone tell you something? Are you -?"

"Yunho!" Jaejoong yelled sitting up from his seat.

"Are you sick? Is there something going on in your family? Tell me Jae please, you’re not like this. Tell me Hyung! Tell me-"

"I can't!" Jaejoong yelled back him. "It will ruin our friendship if I did." Jaejoong whispered the last words looking down. But Yunho caught it.

"Why would it ruin our friendship?" Yunho said looking at Jaejoong with soft eyes and putting his hand on his shoulder to squeeze it a bit. He wants to help anyway he can. Jaejoong looked up at Yunho analyzing his face from his almond shaped eye to his mole above his lip. He brushed Yunho hand off his shoulder and sighed.

"Just drop it Yunho," He looked down at his feet.

"Jaejoong, please I don’t want you to go through this alone," Yunho said grabbing Jaejoong's face with his palms and bending down a smidge to look into his eyes.

Jaejoong really wanted to punch Yunho in the face. He makes it so hard for him to get over that him. With him being to caring and his smile on his face when he looks at him. His face when he's focused on listening to the CEO, his face when his concentrating, his face when he’s sleeping. How His body when he dances, How his body when right when it comes out of the shower, How is body opens up to him when he needs a comfort. Everything. Every single detail about Yunho makes Jaejoong's feel things he can't explain. And he's pissed because he is trying, trying so hard to get over him and look where it's got him?

Back to square one.

Jaejoong pushed Yunho away from him and stepped back.

"Just leave me alone Yunho! You’re not helping at all right now! It's annoying" Jaejoong barked looking up from his feel to look straight into his eyes glaring at him. Yunho eyes turned from soft to damaged to angry in the matter of seconds. And that scared Jaejoong.

"Fine!" Yunho roared and started walking out the room. Anxiety started to run through Jaejoong's veins.

"Yunho wait!" Jaejoong said chasing Yunho through the dorm.

"No, you want me to leave you alone. So I will stay in your little bubble"

"Yunho, I'm sorry I didn't mean to -," Jaejoong said walking behind Yunho as he walked into his room.

"Whatever Jaejoong," Yunho said walking around his room.

"It's just really hard to talk about without-"

"Just get out my room Jaejoong," Yunho glared at Jaejoong. Then pointed to the door. Jaejoong's heart pained.

"Yunho please-," Jaejoong was about to reach out to him when Yunho turned around.

"Jaejoong just stop, I'm trying to get you to open up to me so we can fix the damn problem but you just shut me down! I'm supposed to be your best friend, so that means you come to need a shoulder to cry on. What makes it so diff-" Oh Jaejoong should have also told his body to shut up because in a matter of half a second Jaejoong has his lips on Yunho's. His upper lip is temples. He has always wanted to know what it's like to feel finally feel his lips. He can feel Yunho still. Jaejoong opened his eyes. And looked at Yunho with terror.

"Oh My God!" Jaejoong's eyes started to water and he paced back and forth," I'm so sorry I didn't mean to... I … I'm going to leave" Jaejoong turned around to leave the room, their dorm and maybe the country. He just kissed his best friend. What kind of joke is God trying to play on him? Jaejoong was just out the room when Yunho pulled him back in and closed the door. Jaejoong looked at him so confused. He tried to pull away but alternatively Yunho gripped onto him tighter and pulled him close to his body. Jaejoong tilted his head to look anywhere but at Yunho.

"Jaejoong look at me," Yunho whispered. Jaejoong shook his head. Yunho repeated the same phrase 3 times, Jaejoong looked up at him. And something in his eyes told him all that he needed to know.

Slowly, Yunho leaned in towards Jaejoong.

Jaejoong's eyes fluttered closed right as their lips touched. It was so wrong on the beliefs of so many people on this world. But it felt just felt like pure bliss. The lips that connected together fitted together like a puzzle piece that has been missing and after finding it and fitting it in... it felt like victory, after winning a championship game. Everything up to this point was irrelevant. The feeling to their lips finally moving against each other is like the planets has aligned and shinning just onto them. At this point everything felt perfect.

Yunho pulled them so that they could lay on the bed.

Yunho pulled Jaejoong so he was on top of him both legs on either side of his waist and kissed him with so much love and passion that at this point he knew he might not love someone this much Jaejoong put his arms around Yunho's neck and leaned in more to the kiss. But was interrupted when they heard a banging on the wall.

"Yunho and Jaejoong Hyung!" They heard a high pitched voice "Changmin is trying to kill me because I won't feed him!" Junsu screamed through the walls.

"All you had to do was walk to the kitchen and make me food and stop being lazy," Changmin's voice boomed through the house.

"Why can't you make it yourself, if you actually did something and stop watching people do nasty things on your computer you could actually learn how to cook,"

"Ya," The taller of the two said as he started hitting the other. Jaejoong giggled at how immature the others were and rested his head on Yunho's shoulder.

"I should make them food before Yoochun kills them." he mumbled against the other skin.

"That would be a good idea, but can we stay like this for a while longer?" Yunho had a hand a Jaejoong's waist and another rubbing the back of his back. Jaejoong looked up and sat himself on Yunho's legs pouting.

"5 minutes," he said with a smile on his lips. Yunho took that as an invite and kissed Jaejoong again hugging him close to body.


Their first time.


It was in some Japanese hotel and they had to share rooms. Of course they were paired up together, they were a two for one deal. They don't really know how Jaejoong ended up laying on his back half-naked and a tanned man stripping from his t-shirt and falling on top of the latter kissing and sucking on his neck that were sure to leave hickeys on his neck.

It was getting hot way too fast. Their bodies were pressed against each other grinding on each other loving how the friction felt. Yunho kissed down all over Jaejoong's chest and then started sucking on his nipple while his hand played with the other one. He moved down to Jaejoong stomach and kissed him gently and stopped just above his pelvis.

They have thought about doing it for such a long time, but with the tight schedules and the members never giving them privacy it was hard to get intimate with each other. They have done stuff together of course with how much Jaejoong teases Yunho 24/7 but they were always interrupted from Changmin wanting food, Junsu whining or Yoochun walking by mistake. And now it's just the two of them. They have the day off tomorrow so they could stay up all night if they had too. Silk sheets and cotton pillows. Soft moans escaping from their lips.

Yunho pulled down Jaejoong black jeans that hugged his thighs with admiration. He kissed up from his toes right to his legs kissing around the others erection not wanting to rush their love making.

"Yunho," Jaejoong moaned.

"hmh," Yunho replied between kisses

"Stop teasing or I might kill you," Jaejoong said in a soft tone trying to control his voice.

Yunho husky voice chuckled at Jaejoongs 'threat' and crawled back up to Jaejoong's face and leaned to whisper into his ear. "You know you can't live without me,"

Jaejoong smiled and didn't reply because he knew it was true. Yunho always been there for him, always protecting him, defending him and loving him. No one understood him like he did. Through training, debuting, finding out he was adopted, and through any other hardships Yunho was there for him to lean on and cry his heart out when he didn't want anyone else to see. He wonders how he even lived without him and if Yunho was to leave his side would he survive.

"Let's just take it slow baby," Yunho said against Jaejoong's lips and kissed him softly before going back down to his legs.

And that's how they spent the night taking there time making it a moment that would last forever.

Skin against skin.

The sounds of Jaejoongs moans and Yunho's grunts.

The bed moving along with their motions.

And when the sun appears from the horizon, they are cuddled up together chest rising and falling exhausted from their night together.

"Yunho, do you think they will bother us for the rest of the day?" Jaejoong breathed out onto his lover’s chest.

"Well if they haven't stayed up all day by your moans and all they didn't get the hints from last night then I think were good," Yunho said with a slight smirk on his lip. Jaejoong's eyes widen and turned his head to reach Yunho eyes.

"I wasn't that loud right?" Jaejoong exclaimed.

"You were pretty loud baby," Yunho said with a grin on his face, knowing that he was the one who made Jaejoong moan like that.

"No I wasn't!" Jaejoong pouted and got off Yunho to sit up in front of him and cross legs.

"I bet the whole building heard you," Yunho loved teasing Jaejoong, he was so adorable and he had him all to himself.

"Ya Jung Yun-" Jaejoong started but couldn't finish as Yunho cut him up with a passionate kiss.

"And I'm going to make them hear it again," Yunho whispered on Jaejoong's plumped lips and pushed him down on to the mattress to mark his territory again.


When it ended.


"What do you mean you're not leaving?!" Jaejoong cried out.

"If we leave our career is over! They own us whether you like it or not! Right when we step through that door, we’re done!" Yunho yelled back.

"So you’re just going to stay after everything we've been through after everything they put us through!?" Jaejoong had tears building up in his eyes.

"I'm not gonna put my career in danger! What about our family and our friends in the company, what about-"

"What about us! We’re are a team, a family, we go through everything together! We had a plan Yunho! What about me!" Jaejoong cut him off. Jaejoong felt like he was going to lose his mind. After all the work they had put into getting all the information they need to go through with the lawsuit Yunho just bails.

"This is so like you Yunho always wanting to do the noble and honorable thing," Jaejoong said in almost a hushed tone. Was their love not good enough to last? Of course not, it was too good to be true. Jaejoong felt a tear drop down from his cheek and turned his face not wanting to face Yunho. Yunho reached to touch his arm but he pushed away from him. The other members are looking at them in shock.

"Stay with me," Yunho whispered. Jaejoong turned around startled by Yunho’s request. Could he stay with Yunho? What about the other members? Yunho walked up to him and reached out to caress his cheek.

"Stay with me and we can find a way to make it better," Yunho breathed out as he caressed Jaejoong’s cheek. Before Jaejoong could even think of a reply Yoochun was beside him.

"No, I'm not going to sit and watch this anymore, you know damn well Jae would drop everything to be with you," Yoochun walked up to Yunho and pulled him away from Jaejoong.

"That's his decision to make," Yunho replied stepping up to Yoochun so their faces were no more than a finger away from each other.

"No it's not, because he loves you and he'll do almost anything for you! He is so blinded by love that if you asked him to jump off a bridge he would. Why can't you just leave with us? That was the plan in the first place. Or do you have to go and kiss everyone’s ass like always,"

"Hyung!" They heard Junsu shout in the background.

"No, I'm sick and tired of how you think you can take advantage of Jaejoong's feeling and be so god damn selfish then still be able to turn around and bow down to Mr. Lee."

"Hyung if it wasn't for Yunho-hyung we wouldn't be as far as we are," Changmin stepped in to stand up for Yunho.

"And look what that got us?! A broken leg, sleepless nights and look were fighting against each other because of them!"

"We wouldn't be as successful well at least we would be happy! But no you're just going suck everyone’s dick to make sure that you’re in bright lights and shining no matter who goes down with you."

It happened all too quickly to even try to stop it.

Yunho lunged at Yoochun punching him in the face making him fall to the ground.

Yunho throw himself onto him continued to swing at him. But to say Yoochun wasn't fighting back was an understatement. Right at as the leader was about to throw another swing, the latter took it in his hands and gripped his fist with his palms and flipped them over for him to have a go. Yoochun realized his anger towards the older and let it all out, sure he was a good leader but all he did was be so fucking loyal to that bastard, Lee Soo Man, after all the harsh work he put us under and everything he still decides to stay.

Yoochun can hear Jaejoong yelling and trying to pull him off his beloved boyfriend. He can hear the high pitched voice of Junsu telling to stop. When he looked up for a moment and looked at Junsu and saw tears in his eyes pleading for him to stop. Right as he was about to stop, Yunho was back on top of him.

Jaejoong had more tears in his eyes as he saw bruises start to form. Jaejoong and all the other members were trying to get them stop but of course he was the one in the crossfire.

"Yunho stop it! It's not worth it!" Jaejoong hollers as he tries to pull him off the other. "We’re supposed to be a together! You guys are going to break each other! Yunho ple-"

Yunho was so enraged that he pushed Jaejoong off of him, not even thinking twice about it. And Jaejoong landed on his butt with a thud.

"God! Jaejoong get off of me and stop being so damn clingy and annoying, just sit down and shut the hell up," Yunho said irritated and it was like everything stopped.

"What?" Jaejoong said almost in a whisper.

Yunho and Yoochun were still fighting among each other but the other two saw Jaejoong’s whole demeanor change.

"That's what you're good at anyways, sitting there and looking pretty,” Yunho exclaimed.

Jaejoong has been called pretty ever since he was a child not handsome or masculine. Just pretty or beautiful or gorgeous. Maybe it was the fact that he grew up with eight older sisters that would dressed him up all the time that he grew up more feminine than ‘normal’. Or the fact that he has always looked so damn feminine that everywhere he went someone always mistaken him as a girl. He would always be looked down upon by others because they thought he was so 'pretty' to do anything. He was bullied at school and guys tried to touch him because of that oh so important factor that he was too beautiful to be a male. He was so pretty people accused him of plastic surgery. The way people lusted over him. The way people will always refer him as 'that pretty one of the group'. And Yunho and the rest of the group knew this. And Yunho still said it.

Yunho halted all his actions and got off of Yoochun not believing what he said. He looked at Jaejoong shocked in himself.

"Baby, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it" But the damage was done. Jaejoong got up not even looking at anyone and turned away, his emotions build up inside him.

"But you said it anyways," Jaejoong said in a weak voice. He started walking towards the door, wanting to leave but was pulled back by Yunho.

"Jae, I was in the heat of the moment, please" Yunho looked towards him with pleading eyes. But Jaejoong wasn't having any of it, and he ripped himself from Yunho grasp. Only to be pulled in again

"Don't. Touch. Me. Jung. Yunho" Jaejoong hissed at him.

But every time he fought the man only pulled him closer. Jaejoong slapped him, pushed him and punched Yunho angrily.

"Please just listen to me baby"

"I love you"

"I didn't mean it"

That's all he heard coming out of the younger's mouth as he felt tears build up in his eyes. Jaejoong shoved Yunho with all his strength and stepped away. He looked him in the eyes and took off the ring that Yunho gave him and threw it in his face.

"Go to hell Yunho, " He said in the calmest voice he could pull off before turning around, opening the door and slamming it shot.

Yunho stood there dazed at the turn of events.

No, he's not losing him. Yunho thought. Not after everything they have been through. Yunho runs out their dorm, after Jaejoong to look for him.

Leaving the other members to think among themselves.

"Is it really over?"

After hours of searching, Yunho was left empty-handed.


Jaejoong comes back to reality and he feels Amaterasu pulling on the sleeves of his Dress shirt. He turns and looks and at her.

"Are you okay?" she asked with worried eyes.

Jaejoong smiled at her half-heartedly and nodded.

Jaejoong looked back at the man and realized he hasn't stopped staring at him. He gently bowed at him and walked towards a table with his girlfriend on his arm. He knew everyone was watching. How could they not, it's been years since he last saw him in person. And everyone here knew that.

"SM finally let them go to the same public appearance," he heard someone say behind him and couldn't help but chuckle to the comment.

Tonight sure was going to be a long night.

Chapter Text

“Thank you everyone for coming, it has been a great pleasure to host such an event with my fellow co-workers” Park Chul-Soo – the museum director – spoke to all the guests in the room.

“Tonight’s inspiration was” The director’s voice seemed to fade out as Jaejoong felt a presence beside him. He turned around abruptly and saw Yunho with a soft smile and a wine glass in his hands.

 “Hello,” Yunho whispered to Jaejoong and then to Amaterasu.

“Hello,” Jaejoong said startled. He glanced back at Amaterasu and back at Yunho as they slightly bowed to each other. This honestly can’t be happening right now.

“We welcome all of you with open arms and hope all of you enjoy the rest of the night with lots of wine!” The director said and raised his glass.

Jaejoong took what was left of his wine and chugged down the rest of it. How ironic that his ex-boyfriend/ bandmate was here along with his current girlfriend.

 Un-fucking- believable.

“How are you Jaejoong?” Yunho asked softly with a smile.

“What do you want Yunho-shi” Jaejoong replied no second later. Jaejoong turned to look at Yunho almost glaring at him. Yunho just smiled but you could see the mischief in his eyes as he looked down at Jaejoong. They looked at each other until it was disrupted.

“I’m going to get more wine!” Amaterasu stated and kissing Jaejoong on the cheek and before leaving whispering in his ear, “people are watching,” then walking off to ‘find wine’. Jaejoong looked around room and indeed people were still watching them. He wonders if anyone snapped pictures yet and sent the pictures to dispatch. He can hear the articles now:

“TVXQ reunion? Kim Jaejoong and Jung Yunho were spotted last night at the National Museum of Korea for the new music exhibit. The duo was seen to be chatting with Jaejoong’s new boo Amaterasu over wine. Although, from our sources report that Jaejoong was uncomfortable with the meeting. Could there still be a feud between the ex-band mates? Even after nine years? We will have to stay tuned to see how this whole situation pans out.”

He turned his attention back to Yunho. And Yunho softly stared at him. Jaejoong sighed.

“I’m fine Yunho,” He paused for a second. “How are you?”

Yunho smiled.


The night was going well. Jaejoong and Yunho were talking like the last nine years never happened. . No lawsuit. No heartbreak. No pain. It was a great evening for them even though they got many onlookers eyeing them from around the room. It was nice to catch up with an old friend.

“And then Junsu fell right in front of them,” Yunho spoke with laughter on his lips.

“And he wouldn’t talk to Yoochun for like a week,” Jaejoong threw his head back laughing remembering the memories. Yunho looked at him with a soft smile. Although Amaterasu was still ‘getting wine’, it felt nice to finally talk to Yunho after so long without someone else there.

But that didn’t last when Yunho bought up his dating status and Jaejoong felt amiss.

"So, you're dating her?" Yunho said eyeing Amaterasu at the corner of his eye and he slipped his own wine.

"Yeah..." Jaejoong said feeling as though his heart is trying to jump out of his chest. He looked at Yunho as he put his drink down. "She's very sweet and treats me nice…" Jaejoong said the last part almost inaudible as he heard Yunho chuckle a bit to himself.

"What?" Jaejoong breathed out.

"Nothing, it's just odd you know," Yunho paused, looking around the room. He saw Amaterasu walking towards them with a two wine glasses in her hand, one for her beloved boyfriend. He looked back at Jaejoong and smirked.

"You being with someone else and all,” Yunho said with a sigh.

Jaejoong paled and looked at Yunho in shock.

"Hey, they had your favourite wine being severed isn't that great!" Amaterasu said with a smile as reached the two men.

"That sure is something, isn't Jae?" Yunho said not really paying attention to her anymore but on Jaejoong's reaction.

"Yeah," Jaejoong turned away from Yunho's intense stare and turned to take the wine from Amaterasu. He smiled at her politely and gulped down half the drink in one go.

“So, Yunho-ish,” Amaterasu started and Yunho gaze finally left Jaejoong, “what are you up to these days? Are you and Changmin-ish planning on having a comeback anytime soon?

Changmin, Jaejoong thought, I wonder how he’s doing…

Yunho laughed. Warm like ginseng tea. “Well if we were I couldn’t tell you Amaterasu-shi,” Yunho replied to her with a smile. 

 Jaejoong hasn’t realized how much he missed his laugh. Talking to him, his voice has matured over the years becoming deep and rich. He has seen Yunho in pictures often but they could never do him justice. His shoulders broad with confidence. His arms developed and strong probably one of the strongest people in the room. Legs thick with muscle in his dress pants. He truly aged like wine, he was very handsome. Jaejoong could see his scar on his face. He remembers how he used to kiss it at night in secret before they fell asleep in each other’s arms.

Jaejoong turned away from him and decided he needed to stop these thoughts. He had a girlfriend. A wonderful girlfriend that was right beside him and loved him so much. He had a sudden determination wash over him to try and get Yunho to leave them alone for the rest of the night.

 But that didn’t go as well as it seemed like Yunho really wanted Jaejoong attention to himself.

“So Jaejoong, how is Junsu and Yoochun?” Yunho asked casually.

“They’re fine, Yunho,” Jaejoong said, hesitated for a moment before continuing, “I’m sure Junsu would love to catch up with you,” After everything that happened, Yoochun still hates Yunho with a passion. They didn’t end on good terms and Jaejoong often questioned it they would ever talk again without wanting to claw at each other. During the lawsuit, whenever Yoochun and Yunho were in the same room they would always have argue about something from the group to Jaejoong. Jaejoong used to try and get them to stop but it always ended up getting worse with Yunho trying to talk to him about their relationship.

“Ah, I see Yoochun holds a long grudge still,” Yunho muttered, while taking another sip of his wine.

“And he has every reason to,” Jaejoong said back, looking Yunho right in the eye. Yunho stared back at him, almost challenging him.

“So Yunho-shi, I heard you did really well in your military service! Your family must be very proud of you,” Amaterasu said quickly before they said or did anything rash. But that was obviously ignored.

“Jaejoong, do you honestly think I wanted-” Yunho started before Jaejoong cut him off.

“We are not talking about this right now Yunho,” He said before turning around back to Amaterasu. “Maybe we should call it a night honey, I’m getting rather tired. I’ll drive you back to your hotel,” Jaejoong said quickly before kissing her on the cheek.

“Just like you Jaejoong, running away from your problems,” Yunho tisked almost teasingly. Jaejoong turned around almost ready to fight him.

“Yunho, you know damn well why we wanted to leave, you know damn well what was happening, don’t try to make this my fault,” He hissed, looking around making sure no one was listening.

“And you know damn well, that isn’t the only problem I’m talking about,” Yunho hissed back. Standing up straight and looming over Jaejoong. Even though their height difference between them wasn’t that great, the body mass of muscle Yunho had over Jaejoong was drastically different. Yunho almost seemed to be twice Jaejoong’s size.

“It was nice meeting you Yunho-shi,” Amaterasu bowed before taking Jaejoong by the arm and almost dragging him away from Yunho. Yunho stared back at them as they walked through the room bowing and saying their goodbyes.


Jaejoong’s eyes slowly flutter open.

His room is dark but warm due to the heating in his house. The cold air of Seoul in January still attacks outside and staying in bed sounds like the best option right now.

He would have gone back to sleep if it wasn’t for his damn phone ringing.

“Hyung! You met with Yunho hyung!” Junsu almost yelled over the phone right when Jaejoong picked up the phone.

“Yes, su,” Jaejoong groggily replied.

“What did he say? Why didn’t you tell me? It’s all over the news! People are freaking out!  People think the group is getting back together!” Junsu exclaimed over the phone.

“We didn’t really talk much…” Jaejoong hesitated not knowing how to continue, “It was just a little catch up is all”

“Yeah, well that’s not what everyone else thinks right now, it’s chaotic on sns right now hyung!”

“Well, we can’t really do anything about that now can we?” Jaejoong rolling over to his side, wanting to just fall back asleep.

 “Hyung,” Junsu paused, “are you okay? You know with seeing him again after everything that has happened?”  

“Yeah su, I’m fine… He just…. Never really changed but changed so much,” Jaejoong sighed. “And it felt a bit awkward with Amaterasu there,”

“oh… that must have been very awkward…”

“Yeah, he brought up you guys,” Jaejoong sighed “didn’t really go well when Chunnie was brought into the conversation though,”

“Did you fight?”

“No, but he kinda brought up… you know, in front of Amaterasu,”

“What Hyung! What did you say?! What did he say?!”

“It was very subtle, I don’t think she caught on but I did look like I wanted to fight him,” He chuckled. “She practically dragged me out of the museum last night before I did,”

“I need to personally thank her for that,” Junsu thought for a moment “Do you think Chunnie already knows about the news?”

Jaejoong looked at the time, “nope, he’s probably still sleeping,”  

Right when he said that his doorbell rang.

Jaejoong tossed in his bed. He just wanted to go back to sleep? Was that so hard? Apparently not with doorbell ringing again and Junsu talking too loud at this time in the morning.

He sighed and slowly but reluctantly got out of his bed to open the door. When he reached the door he looked at his screen beside the door to see who it was.

And to his surprise it was Yoochun.

“Um su, I’m going to call you right back,” He said before opening the door to let in a very distraught Yoochun inside,

"What did he say? Did he touch you? I swear I’ll rip his head of off if he did. Why does he always have to show up where he is not wanted? I bet he knew you were there why else would he show up?” Yoochun hurried out as he walked into Jaejoong’s place. He was wearing sweatpants and a zip up sweater looking like he also just got out of bed and came upon hearing about the news.

Jaejoong rolled his eyes.

“Stop acting like I’m a damn damsel in distress. I’m fine. I’m a man remember, Sergeant in the military. I’m okay,”

“Sorry hyung, you just used to get –“

“Used to. I used to be dependent on him, Yoochun. I can stand my own ground now. I’m an independent person Yoochun. I’m not like that anymore,”

“I know it’s just that…“ Yoochun ran his fingers through his hair ” I don’t know something in me just… was scared that after everything we’ve been through and fought for, he’ll come back into your life again and you’ll crawl back into his arms"

Jaejoong sighed and went to sit down on the couch. He patted the spot beside him for Yoochun to sit beside him. Yoochun moved from the spot he was standing to sit beside Jaejoong. When he sat down Jaejoong started running his hands through his hair.

 “Chunnie, you’re supposed to be my soulmate. I know in the past I was very blinded by love and my life was basically revolved around him but I’m not like that anymore. I’m my own person, look at where I am now. Successful without him, or that company. I know you have your concerns about me and my relationship with Yunho but it’s in the past now. I know I let him back in before even after everything that happened but I won’t let him back in this time,” Jaejoong lightly smiled at Yoochun while looking for an understanding from him.

There was a time around six months after the file for the lawsuit that Yunho contacted him to meet up at a hotel to receive some things he had left in the dorm. Jaejoong reluctantly went and to say the least not much was really spoken when Jaejoong entered that hotel room. And months followed where they would meet in secret and either would have sex or just hold each other and give each other promises of love awhile wishing things had turned out differently. But soon, after interviews and words being spoken, arguments arisen and that was the end of that.

And he got it when he nodded and said: “ I just care about you hyung, you used to be so fragile and seeing you hurt during the break up was painful to watch hyung. I don’t want you to go through that again,”

“Hmmm, I understand but have a little more faith in me okay, I’m stronger than you think,”

“Yes hyung,” Yoochun replied and engulfed Jaejoong into a hug. Jaejoong smiled and gave him a kiss on his forehead.

“Aigoo, chunnie is still greasy as ever,” Jaejoong said as he pulled away from the hug and started pinching his cheeks, “Worried about his dear hyung, I feel so loved”

“Hyung, I’m hungry feed me,”

“Ah, I just woke up from you ringing my doorbell! You should be the one feeding me!” Jaejoong shouted as he got up from couch and put his hands on his waist.

“I’ll buy you something?”

“What are you good for?” He sighed as his stomach called for his attention. “I’ll go get ready,” He said as he started walking over to his bedroom “and I get to pick the place and what we’re eating!” He called back to Yoochun, who was now becoming concerned about his wallet.

“He’s really something else,” Yoochun laughed out to himself.


He looked good. Really good. His plum lips and the way he talked.  The way he would cover his mouth when he laughed. Those doe eyes that look up at him. His pale skin he used to leave marks on. His soft hair and the way he would run his hair through it. He missed him.

He missed them.

He remembers when he found out that Jaejoong was dating that Japanese girl. He heard it right when he left the Military. He remembers walking through the SM building and overhearing some staff talking about Jaejoong and Amaterasu. He remember being so upset and shocked wanting to find Jaejoong tell him that he only belonged to him. But he couldn’t. So left for the rest of the day and drank a few too many bottles of soju.

He was lost in thought when he heard Changmin clear his throat and he looked up from his daydream to find that look on Changmin’s face when he was going to ask something.

“What did you say to him?”

“Huh?” Changmin rolled his eyes.

 “Jaejoong hyung, what did you say to him,”

“Oh, we just caught up and talked,”

“Did you piss him off?”

“And why would I do that?”

“I know you, you wouldn’t just talk to him without trying to bring up your relationship with him,” He said in a serious tone looking Yunho right in the eye.

Yunho laughed. “Changmin, I’m over all of that, it’s been, what? Around nine years since we broke up. We’ve both moved on,” Yunho replied before going back to eating his breakfast.

“Funny how you remembered all those years hyung,” Changmin smirked as Yunho paused.

Caught you.

“You know that’s the same amount of years since the group broke up right?” Changmin smiled. “So what did you do this time? And his girlfriend was there too. Did you expose your past relationship to the poor girl?”

“I wouldn’t do that,” Yunho sighed.

“I’m not sure, you say you wouldn’t do a lot of things but when it comes to Jaejoong hyung all those morals go flying out the window,”

“Well, I didn’t do that,”

“But you made him angry didn’t you?” Changmin paused and looked at his leader.

He sighed.

Yunho never shows much emotion. But seeing him looking distraught every now and then when Yoochun, Junsu and especially Jaejoong is brought up kills him. He misses him too. Hell he misses Junsu and Yoochun too but it’s hard. It’s hard wanted to see them when you can’t. But Yunho? Yunho lead this group, he was the backbone of the group, the person that made sure we were okay and doing the best in his ability to keep the group going and happy. He could tell that he feels like he failed the group. Failed our fans. And along with that he lost someone he loved more than anything. When Yunho came back that night after the fight he has never seen his hyung so close to tears before. Everything fell apart around him all at once. But he still kept it all together and did his best to fix things. And when they left and it was just him and Yunho left, Yunho stayed strong and slowly started to accept everything.

Yunho looked up at him just as he finished recalling the past.

“Do you think I will ever be able to get him back?” Yunho almost whispered.

“I don’t know hyung…” He paused “I really don’t know,”



Months went by and the news of Yunho and Jaejoong has finally cooled down in the media. It had slowly became old news as another scandal came along or with another group’s comeback. Jaejoong was thankful for that. Being asked about Yunho has become very tiring. There was once a time where he would do anything to just bring up Yunho’s name in an interview. But as time has passed and he has moved on. Being continually asked about him only made him annoyed and irritated. Family, friends and of course fans have all asked about Yunho.

“How is Yunho?”

“Have you guys made up?”

@yunjae041986: [email protected] OMG YOU MET YUNHO OMG YUNJAE IS REAL,”


“What did Yunho and you talk about, are you getting back together again?”

“Will the group get back together now that you two have made up?”

Honestly he can’t blame them. With the lawsuit and both parties being so quiet for so many years to basically spending the whole night together during an event would spark a lot of questions but having it asked 24/7 really took a toll on him especially the way their night ended. Luckily for him, he was currently working on a Japanese tour and was planning diligently. Thus, he had his brain in a better state of mind.

 Along with having Japan with Amaterasu helped him as well.

Jaejoong was so grateful for her, she never stepped over the line and asked too many questions about the group from the beginning of their relationship. She was always so patient and let him come to her when he was ready to talk. She was always so caring and had a certain understanding for him that he would always thank her for. So being in Japan with her and doing what he loves was heaven. But of course heaven had to run short.

Jaejoong and Amaterasu were sitting in a restaurant while enjoying a late dinner when all of a sudden he heard:


And of course when Jaejoong turned around he saw Yunho and Changmin.

A least it’s nice to see Changmin again. He honestly can’t say the same for Yunho.