Work Header

Drunken Mess

Work Text:

Stiles wasn’t entirely sure why he agreed to this. But the idea of meeting someone he didn’t know for a blind date put him on edge. The brunette was nervously tapping his fingers on the countertop as he searched across the bar to see if there was anyone who looked as nervous and annoyed as he did. He was currently nursing a whiskey and running his fingers down the precipitation of the glass. The young man always liked the cool, wet feel of it.
“It’s going to get watered down if you leave it any longer.” The Bartender stated, he was an attractive man. Stiles couldn’t tell what his exact eye colour was, but he could tell they were light. Either blue, green, or hazel. This lighting was making it hard to figure it out. When Stiles noticed that he was staring at the bartender’s face too long, he drank from the glass like he was taking a shot, “Easy there.”

“Jesus. What kind of whiskey was that?” Stiles wheezed, his throat was burning like hell and he was definite he killed a part of himself. The bartender was hiding his mouth with the back of his hand, but Stiles could tell that he was smiling because of the little crows feet that appeared by his eyes.

“A specialty one.” The Bartender answered, moving his hand away from his face, “So you’re waiting for someone?”

“Is it that obvious?” Stiles asked cautiously, “My friend Lydia set me up on a blind date. I don’t even know who I’m supposed to be meeting. She said they’d be wearing a pin. But everyone here is wearing some sort of pin.”

“That sounds like a pain.” The Bartender mused, “Do you want another?”

“Hey. I’ve been here a few times, but I’ve never seen you.” Stiles noted, “And yes. I’ll have another. Maybe something stronger?”

“I’m Derek Hale. My family owns this bar. I don’t really work here unless it’s really necessary. And Isaac’s decided to use his vacation time.” Derek smiled, “So you really don’t recognise me?”

“Recognise you?” Stiles frowned, taking a good look at Derek. There was something familiar about him, it was sort of eery. Attractive features, a sharp nose, thick eyelashes, lush kissable lips. But Stiles wasn’t really sure where he had met him before, “Holy shit. Are you Derek Hale, as in the guy that was all gangly as a teenager back in Beacon Hills?”

“That would be me.” Derek laughed awkwardly, pouring Stiles another drink. His ears were red. And Stiles couldn’t help but think how adorable it was that Derek seemed to be embarrassed by how he looked when he was younger. But everyone went through an awkward phase during puberty.

“They’re great.” Stiles grinned, “This is really awkward now because I used to have a huge crush on you when I was younger.”

“You used to have a crush on me?” Derek let out a startled laugh, “The gangly teenager?”

“Don’t sell yourself short.” Stiles laughed, “Do you remember my hair? I had that weird hair cut and then I moved onto a buzz cut. It was dreadful.”

“I thought it was adorable.” Derek smiled, “But your hair does suit you more now.”

Stiles tried to hide his smile behind the glass, but it was clear that he wasn’t succeeding. So Stiles did the next best thing, drank the drink all at once to quell down his embarrassment.

“Jesus. Stiles that was not smart.” Derek scolded, looking behind the bar, Stiles was confused by the sight of the trash can. Well, that was until he unceremoniously projectile vomited into it. He let out a frustrated groan before throwing up again, “Bars closed. Everyone get out.”

“Holy shit.” Stiles wheezed in between little spurts of vomit. It was disgusting. He shouldn’t have drunk anything before he went to the bar. Pre-gaming was always a bad idea. Especially if you weren’t even going to a club. He was covered in his own sick.

“Why didn’t you tell me that you drank before you came here?” Derek sighed, jumping across the bar. Stiles had never seen anyone do that in person and it was possibly the hottest thing that he had seen, “Shit. I’m going to have to take you to my place. Just until you sober up, so that I can make sure that you don’t choke on your own puke.”

When Stiles woke up, he was mortified. He knew he was missing time, but he did remember quite a few things. Like how he threw up on Derek, in his car, on Derek’s bed, and all over the house. The younger man hadn’t gotten this drunk in a long time and he realised why it was something that he avoided. There was a Tylenol and a glass of water on the bedside table and Stiles couldn’t help but appreciate it.

It took him a few minutes to realise that Derek was sleeping beside him. Stiles stared at the man for a few minutes, before taking a peak under the blankets, and surely enough Derek was as naked as the day he was born and Stiles was very appreciative of it. He hadn’t seen that many uncut dicks, and it was very fascinating to see one up close.
“Stiles?” Derek questioned sleepily, Stiles dropped the blanket and tried to act like he didn’t just take a peek at Derek’s nakedness.

“You’re naked.” Stiles stated, earning a groan from his bed partner.

“Sorry, I probably stripped at some point during the night.” Derek sighed, “I don’t deal with heat too well. I tried to be decent because you were here, but I guess that didn’t work out.”

“No need to apologise. I mean I am imposing on you.” Stiles laughed, wincing slightly at the sound of his own voice, “Why does your house look a lot cleaner than it did last night?”

“Because I cleaned it.” Derek snorted, “Had to give my car a deep cleaning and scrubbed the walls. But I couldn’t salvage my phone.”

“Oh God. I am so sorry.” Stiles apologised earnestly, he probably ruined all chances he had with the guy. Like he even had a chance with him.

“How about I make you some breakfast?” Derek smiled, getting out of bed and pulling up a pair of slack. Stiles only got a glimpse of that toned ass, but he was missing it already. He decided that it would be best if he hid under the blankets, because it wasn’t like he could physically escape passed Derek Hale. The smell of bacon and eggs and butter and everything greasy and lovely was what made Stiles change his mind. He would run after he ate.

“Breakfast in bed?” Stiles beamed, his head peeking out from under the covers. Derek just laughed at him, ruffling his hair slightly. It was weird, but Derek seemed to either have experience carrying a tray with one hand, or he was just really good at the whole balancing thing. He waited for Stiles to sit up before he put the tray on his lap. Stiles smiled at him, before taking a curious bite, “Derek. I think I might have to marry you.”

“That was the plan.” Derek said in a serious tone, “I just need you to sign the documents below my bed and then we’ll be legally married.”

Stiles stared at Derek in shock, so much so, that a piece of sausage ended up falling out of his mouth. He hadn’t ever dealt with anyone crazy, so he wasn’t entirely sure what to do.
“Er. Okay?” Stiles said slowly, in turn making Derek laugh so hard that Stiles was sure that the other man was on the verge of tears.

“Stiles. I was joking.” Derek grinned, “But I hope you’re not opposed to me actually taking you out for dinner sometime?”

“That isn’t a joke too, right?” Stiles frowned, “Because I’m going to have to take you up on that.”

“Great! Let me give you my number and we’ll arrange something.” Derek smiled, “But you should probably check your phone. It was going off the whole night.”

“Oh crap. Lydia is going to murder me.” Stiles groaned, “I hate to cut this short. But I really have to go.”

“See you around Stiles.”


Stiles was looking forward to being able to spend time with Derek, the guy seemed decent enough and it was a plus that he was ridiculously attractive. It was the little things that made Stiles want this to be a relationship, like how shy Derek seemed when they talked about how he was a gangly teenager, to how he took care of and cleaned after Stiles after his embarrassing drunkenness. He wanted this to work. He was going to make this work.