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Joan Holloway Harris's Diary

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October 15th, 1965

Wt: 150 lbs.

Alcohol Units: 14

Cigarettes: 10 (less than before)

Belly getting rounder. Greg is away in Vietnam, I still have mixed feelings about him (and what he did to me those years ago), and I believe I love him but sometimes and I feel guilty about it, feel my life would be easier if I wasn’t married to him. At the least, I wouldn’t have to hear him lecture me like a child, doubt my intellect, or make cracks about how he will get me and the baby into shape. Don Draper is getting married to his secretary, Megan Calvet. Me and Peggy just laughed. Feels like me and her are truly connecting (is it me or her or both?). And he's smiling like a fool, like he's the first man that ever married his secretary. She's 25. As if that's news. That fuckwit, can't believe Allison had left. Don’t know when to break the news to Roger that I didn’t have that abortion, wonder how he would take it….and I wonder if he would keep a secret. Would Greg ever put two and two together that it’s not his child? My Mother is going to spend at least a year in Manhattan with me in a few months, hope she brings news from Kate.