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Dimensional Dissonance

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Dean woke up feeling more groggy than normal. He and Sam had just gotten back last night after dealing with some Nachzehrer in Oregon. Dean got up with a groan, and after his regular morning ablutions, stumbled to the kitchen to make some coffee.

Dean clattered around the kitchen looking for the coffee, grumbling about Sam always moving things around when he found it in the wrong cabinet. “Sammy!” he cried out despite the fact Sam wouldn’t be able to hear him. “How many times do I gotta tell you where we keep the coffee?!”

Dean heard footsteps approaching the kitchen. “Hey, Sam, you up?”

When there was no response, Dean shrugged and went back to preparing the coffee.

“Dean, don’t be alarmed,” came the familiar gruff of Castiel’s voice.

Dean turned around and stared at the apologetic looking angel.

“Cas! When did you get back?” Dean asked confused.

To Dean’s surprise, he heard his own voice coming from the hall. “What is it Cas?”

A moment later, Dean is literally staring at himself coming through the kitchen door behind Castiel.

Both Deans mouths’ drop open in shock. “Woah!”

Cas looked back and forth between the two Deans, stepping back towards the one fully clothed and staring at the one wearing nothing but a pair of boxers and a robe.

“Sammy!” Dean called out. “I could really use some back-up! I think we got a shapeshifter problem!”

“What the hell you talkin’ ‘bout?” the other Dean snarled angrily. “Sam died stopping the apocalypse.”

“What?” Dean snapped. “Cas pulled him out of the cage!”

“No, I didn’t,” Castiel shook his head, frowning. “I…tried. But I couldn’t remove him with his soul intact.”

“Hey Cas,” the other Dean soothed. “I forgave you. Don’t let…whoever…whatever…this is…pull you down again.”

“What the hell is going on here?” Dean asked in frustration. “I get that I’m probably in some…alternate universe thing. Again, but…you left Sam in cage? How could you?”

“No, I didn’t,” Castiel clarified. “When I realized, I couldn’t raise him from perdition the same way I raised you, I ended his life instead. That freed his soul. Sam is now in Heaven.”

Dean relaxed a little in relief. “Well, that’s something at least.”

The other Dean looked at him in confusion. “What do you mean you’re in an alternate universe thing again?”

Dean sighed. “Can I please make some coffee first? We got a lot to talk about.”

***

“So, you’re saying you’re from some alternate…reality?” the other Dean frowned. “And that in your reality, Sam is still alive?”

“Yeah,” Dean nodded as he sipped his coveted cup of coffee. “My Cas did pull him out, not realizin’ he was leavin’ Sam’s soul behind. I had to make a deal with Death to get his soul restored and then it took a while to get him right again after all the damage Lucifer and Michael inflicted on his soul while it was trapped in the cage with them. But he’s fine now.”

The other Dean sighed wearily. “I’m glad to know that somewhere out there, Sam is still runnin’ around with me…you…huntin’ and keepin’ people safe. It’s been hard doin’ it without him. I couldn’t have kept goin’ all these years if it weren’t for Cas here.”

The other Dean then reached out a hand to Castiel and the angel pulled the hunter towards him and gave him a gentle kiss to his temple. “I couldn’t leave you to get yourself killed. I care too much for you Dean.”

“Yeah, I know Cas,” the other Dean said smiling up at the Angel. “You know I love you.”

Dean nearly dropped his mug of coffee in shock.

“Wait, what?” Dean asked. “Are you two…like…together?”

They both looked at him. “Yeah of course,” the other Dean stated matter-of-factly. “You aren’t with Cas in your reality?”

Dean shook his head. “No. I tend to prefer girls.”

“Dude, seriously?” the other Dean cajoled. “I’m straight as an arrow but Cas isn’t just some guy. He’s an angel. I fell in love with an angel of the Lord. The sex of his vessel is meaningless in the grand scheme of things and angels don’t really have genders. Isn’t that right Cas?”

“Quite right,” Castiel smiled. “Although I do recall needing to remind you of that fact quite frequently before you finally ‘got it’.”

“Ok, ok,” the other Dean nodded and smiled. “Guilty as charged. But seriously man, you should give your Cas a chance. I bet he cares for you as much as mine cares for me. You just haven’t lived through the same circumstances that brought us together.”

“Fine, I’ll think about it,” Dean sighed wanting to change the subject. “Now mind letting me borrow some of your clothes before we figure out how the hell I got here and how to get me back?”

***

Several days later and they were still no closer to finding an answer. “Man, I wish Sam were here. He was always better at all this research stuff.”

“That is an excellent suggestion,” Castiel said, looking up from the large tome he had been reading through. “One moment.”

Castiel disappeared.

“Woah, he still got his wings?” Dean marveled.

The other Dean looked at him in confusion. “’Course he still has his wings. Are you telling me that your Cas lost his wings?”

Dean rubbed his face. “It’s a really long story, but yeah sort of. They are badly damaged and he can’t use them anymore. All the angels’ wings were damaged when they fell from Heaven. Something this scribe of God named Metatron did.”

“Ouch,” the other Dean said with a wince. “I’m glad I wasn’t around to see that. But dude, your Cas was hurtin’ and you didn’t…comfort him?”

“I wanted to,” Dean said regretfully. “Man, I really did. But Sam was dying. This angel, Gadreel, he saved Sam by possessing him and helping him heal. If Cas had stayed at the bunker, the angels who were hunting him might have found Gadreel and forced him to leave Sam before he was healed. Cas seemed fine, so I asked him to leave.”

“He seemed fine?!” the other Dean growled. “Look, I get that you were trying to save Sam, but I can’t imagine turning a broken Cas out like that. That’s cold.”

Moments later Castiel returned, and beside him stood a slightly see-through, glowing Sam.

“I brought Sam down from Heaven, to help us with this research,” Castiel explained. “I already explained the entire situation to him.”

“Sam!” both Deans cried out at once. The other Dean ran over to hug his brother but stumbled as his arms went right through him.

“I’m sorry, I don’t have the power to make him fully corporeal,” Castiel apologized. “However, I think he could still be of help.”

“It’s good to see you Dean,” Sam smiled at his brother. “I have been keeping an eye on you and Cas. I’m glad you’re taking care of each other.”

Then the ghostly Sam looked over at Dean. “Now let’s see about getting you home. I hear you have an angel of your own that you’ve been neglecting.”

Dean rolled his eyes. “Yeah right. Let’s get to work.”

Sam managed to finally find an obscure reference to an interdimensional spell. They had no idea how Dean had somehow woken up in the wrong reality, but they had a means to hopefully get him back home.

“You’re sure this won’t just pop me into some other wacky reality?” Dean asked as he watched the other Dean and Castiel paint the glyphs needed for the spell.

“From what I understood,” Sam explained. “This spell is literally designed to send someone back to their home, to where they belong. So as long as your reality is where you belong, this should get you there.”

“Alright,” Dean nodded. “Thanks Sammy.”

Dean stepped inside the large circular glyph that was painted on the floor and when the other Dean and Castiel were done with their glyphs they stepped back and let Sam read the incantation.

“Well this has been…something,” Dean said. “It was interesting meeting myself.”

“Likewise,” the other Dean said. “Take care of yourself.”

Dean nodded just as Sam finished the incantation. Dean and Cas then turned towards the glyphs they had painted and placed their hands over them, sending Dean into a blinding flash of light.

***

When the blinding light faded and Dean dared reopen his eyes, he was still standing in the same place, but without the glyphs, spell circle, ghostly Sam or another Dean around. In fact, the only other person there was Castiel.

“Dean!” Cas cried out, rushing over to him and pulling him into an enthusiastic hug.

“Hey Cas,” Dean laughed. “What was that for?”

“We’ve been looking for you for weeks,” Castiel explained. “You disappeared after getting back from that Nachzehrer case. Sam is still driving all over looking for clues. Where have you been?”

“Weeks?” Dean asked in shock. “For me it’s only been a few days.”

“What happened?” Castiel asked.

Dean told Castiel as many relevant details as he could, but leaving one small fact unmentioned. He was not ready to broach that subject just yet.

“Let me call Sam,” Dean said pulling out his phone. “Aw damn the battery is dead. I never got to charge it while I was in that other reality.”

“I’ll call Sam,” Castiel offered. “Why don’t you go get some rest? You look like you could use it.”

“Yeah, I guess I am pretty beat,” Dean admitted. “Let Sam know I’m okay.”

Dean took a long, hot shower and then went back to his room. The same room he disappeared from in the first place. Just to be on the safe side he checked every nook and cranny to make sure there were no hidden glyphs or hex bags anywhere that could have caused him wake up in that alternate reality.

When he found nothing, Dean just shrugged and crawled into bed, needing to catch up on some much needed sleep.

***

Dean startled awake some hours later, looking up to find Castiel standing over is bed, staring at him. “Cas, man, what have I told you before about privacy?”

Castiel continued staring for a moment before seating himself on the bed next to Dean. “Dean, we need to talk.”

Dean righted himself, rubbing the sleep from his eyes. “What’s so urgent it couldn’t wait a couple more hours?”

Castiel stared at him for a moment, clearly contemplating what to say. “Do you remember what I told you, about my true nature and form?”

Dean thought back. “I remember something about you actually being as big as the Chrysler Building.”

Castiel nodded. “I also said that I am a multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. Do you understand what that means?”

Dean look at him for a moment and then shook his head.

“It means that I don’t just exist in this dimension. I exist in all dimensions, and realities, simultaneously,” Castiel explained. “When you interacted with Castiel in that other reality, you were actually interacting with me.”

Dean shook his head in confusion for a moment before staring at Castiel. “Woah, you mean that was still you?”

“Yes, Dean,” Castiel admitted.

“Why didn’t you say somethin’ man? And what was with all that lovely, dovey stuff with the other me?” Dean demanded.

Castiel sighed, turning fully to face the human. “In every dimension and reality where you exist, in all of them except this one, you and I become lovers. We are always and perpetually drawn to each other. Yet somehow you have resisted. That’s why I sent you there.”

Dean bolted out of the bed then, putting distance between himself and Castiel. “You mean to tell me you sent me on that little joyride?”

“Yes Dean. I needed you to see another possibility for our relationship,” Castiel said calmly. “I feel…incomplete…without you.”

“You couldn’t just…tell me that?” Dean yelled. “You had to send me on some interdimensional field trip to understand that you have feelings for me?”

“I’m sorry Dean,” Castiel sighed. “I didn’t know how else to explain it.”

“How about usin’ your words!” Dean growled. “All you had to do was talk to me.”

Castiel stood then and approached Dean, slowly backing the man against the wall. “Is that all I really needed to do? Would you have accepted me as your soulmate if I had just said it? Or would you have laughed it off nervously like you always do?”

Castiel’s oh-so-blue eyes were staring intently into Dean’s, piercing right through to his very soul. “Soulmates? Is that so?”

Castiel reached out and pulled Dean towards him. “Yes, Dean. Soulmates always find each other. Always come together. Regardless of the timeline, the reality or the dimension they are in. Even here we found each other, but you have always kept me at arm’s length. I believe the current term in this dimension is friend zoned.”

Dean chuckled at the term and blushed as he felt the warmth of the angel radiate at every point their bodies touched. They were so close that Castiel’s scent filled his nostrils. His scent was a mix of the smell of a rainstorm on a hot summer’s day, the spicy smell of autumn leaves, the crisp smell of newly fallen snow, and something very uniquely Cas.

Dean’s heart was beating faster as he studied the angel’s features, as if for the first time, licking his lips nervously.

“So, what do we do now?” Dean asked trying to break the tension between them.

“We mate,” Castiel said simply. “I tried to wait for you to come to me but I don’t want to wait any longer. You were meant to be mine and I will have you.”

Dean’s hands shot up and splayed across Castiel’s chest. “Woah, hang on a minute there. Don’t I get a say in this?”

“Are you honestly going to tell me you don’t have feelings for me?” Castiel shot him a questioning look as his hand reached out and cupped Dean’s very noticeable erection within the boxer briefs he wore. “That you aren’t completely aroused by me right now?”

Dean felt his cock twitch at the angel’s touch. “Aroused? Hell yes. But feelings? This is all so new to me. I need some time to process this.”

Castiel sighed and stepped back giving Dean some space. “I don’t know how much longer I can wait Dean. I need you like you need the air to breathe.”

Dean looked up and saw Castiel’s eyes on the verge of tears and it broke his heart to see his dearest friend in that kind of pain. “Hey, c’mon now. You’re not fightin’ fair.”

When the first tear rolled down Castiel’s cheek, it was like a wall between them had been smashed asunder and Dean surged forward, pulling a somewhat startled Castiel into an embrace. “Hey, no tears man. I didn’t say no. I just said I need to process this.”

Castiel practically melted into his embrace and Dean had to admit it felt good to hold the angel in his arms. “C’mere, take off that coat and suit and join me. I really could use some more shut-eye and I get the feeling you could use a cuddle. After I wake up, let’s talk about this some more, okay?”

Castiel nodded. “Okay.”

Castiel stripped himself down to his boxers and t-shirt that he wore under the suit and climbed into bed with Dean, wrapping himself around the human. Dean was tired and he drifted off to sleep almost immediately.

***

When Dean woke up a few hours later, he finally felt rested. Castiel was still holding him and Dean had to admit it felt nice. He wasn’t ready to let Cas know he was awake yet so he kept his eyes closed as he thought of the implications of what the angel had told him.

He had to admit he was taken aback at first when he saw the other Dean and Castiel being so openly affectionate with each other. What surprised him even more was the frisson of jealousy that coursed through him when he saw Cas touching and kissing the other Dean.

Dean thought back through all the years since he had met Cas, all the things they had been through together. Over and over Castiel had told him that everything the angel had done had been for him. Sure, Sam benefitted from his actions, but Dean had been the focus of everything Castiel had done. Dean began to realize he had been so wrapped up in everything he never noticed how much Castiel cared for him.

Dean had never been interested in having a male partner before but then again, Castiel wasn’t truly male, was he? He was an angel. A genderless multidimensional wavelength of celestial intent. Whatever that meant. Dean knew that if he asked, Cas might find a female vessel to contain him instead. But then he wouldn’t be Cas anymore, would he?

Dean sighed and opened his eyes as he turned around to look at Castiel. Sure enough, the angel’s eyes were wide open and there were tears in them once again. “Hey, I said no more tears.”

“These are tears of joy,” Castiel explained as he smiled at Dean. “Thank you for allowing me to remain at your side while you slept.”

Dean reached out and wiped away the tears on Castiel’s face. “You’re really in love with me that much, huh?”

Castiel nodded. “Always and forever. I’ve known since the beginning of time that I would meet you and that you would be the one. You were promised to me.”

“See, it’s that kinda talk that’s makin’ me skittish,” Dean sighed. “I don’t want to feel like I don’t have a choice in this. I don’t want to feel like you, or God, or Fate, or whatever is forcing me into this.”

“I’m sorry Dean,” Castiel apologized. “Tell me, what do you want?”

“Finally,” Dean rolled his eyes dramatically. “I thought you’d never ask.”

Dean sat up and Castiel followed suit. They sat across from each other cross-legged on the bed, like a couple of teenagers at a sleepover.

“First of all, let me make this perfectly clear,” Dean began. “There is no ownership here. I don’t belong to you. You don’t belong to me. Maybe we belong to each other, but it’s gotta be equal.”

Castiel nodded. “Agreed. That was always my intention.”

“Ok good,” Dean said. “Now you said ‘we mate.’ What does that mean, exactly?”

“It involves copulation,” Castiel explained. “However, between us, it would transcend that. It would form a bond between us. A permanent bond.”

“Woah,” Dean exclaimed. “Permanent how?”

“Our souls would be tied together, for eternity,” Castiel explained. “Neither of us would ever need or want to ever copulate with anyone else. We’d also be linked. We’d be able to feel each other wherever we are.”

“Hmm I could think of a few past cases where that would have come in handy,” Dean said. “But that would mean I’d stop being interested in girls?”

“You’d stop being interested in copulating with them, yes,” Castiel clarified. “And boys too.”

“I was never into other guys, you know that,” Dean growled. “Does it mean I can ask for sex any time I need it?”

“Dean, I’d know when you needed sex before you ever had to ask,” Castiel replied. “You would also know when I needed it as well.”

Dean nodded. “Okay, well that’s good I guess.”

Castiel reached out then, to stroke Dean’s face. “Will you mate with me, Dean Winchester? Please?”

A smile spread over Dean’s lips. “See, now you’re usin’ your words properly.”

“Is that a yes?” Castiel asked hopefully.

“The whole permanent thing scares me a little,” Dean admitted. “But I don’t want to lose you, Cas. I do care about you a lot. I saw how you were with that other me and if it’s like that? I guess I’d be okay with it.”

Castiel pulled off his t-shirt then and reached out to coax Dean out of his. Once they lost their underwear Castiel guided Dean to lay on his back and the angel crawled over him. Looking up at how lust blown Castiel’s eyes had become, the blue receding to a thin ring, made Dean’s breath hitch.

Dean reached up and grabbed Castiel behind the neck and pulled him down towards him so he could brush his lips against the angel’s. Castiel allowed Dean to control the kiss, as Dean felt the warmth of Cas’ lips against his. Once Castiel relaxed and lay himself down over Dean, their erections rubbed against each other and Cas let out a moan of pleasure, and Dean took that opportunity to deepen the kiss.

Dean had always enjoyed kissing, but kissing Castiel was a whole new experience. Feeling the slight stubble on his skin and the flat planes of the angel’s chest, while smelling only male arousal permeate the room, was very different in a good way. He didn’t think his cock could get any harder, he was already so aroused by just kissing another man. Well, an angel in a male vessel, but same difference, right? At least as far as anatomy was concerned.

The next thing Dean knew Castiel was spreading his legs and reaching down between them with one hand. For a brief second Dean freaked, having thought perhaps he’d be the top partner in this relationship. However, when Castiel used some of his grace to flow through him and Dean felt his anus relax just before Castiel gently inserted a finger, Dean moaned like a bitch in heat.

Damn that felt good. Why was he opposed to this again?

Dean was surprised when suddenly he felt slick begin to dribble out of his hole. “Woah, I didn’t know your grace could do that.”

“It’s not my grace,” Castiel said, his voice even gruffer with lust. “I meant it when I said you were meant for me. Your body is responding to me, getting ready to accept our coupling.”

In the back of his mind, Dean knew he should be so freaked out by that but he was now so lost in a haze of lust he couldn’t think straight anymore. Literally and figuratively.

By the time Castiel deemed that he was ready, Dean was so pliant he didn’t even fuss when the angel guided him to turn around so that he was on his knees with his head and shoulders gently pressed down onto the bed, his ass on full display.

Dean felt the angel’s hands on his hips and the heat radiating from him as he settled between his spread knees. “Do you consent to my claiming you as my mate, Dean Winchester?” Castiel asked.

Dean paused for barely a moment before nodding. “Yeah Cas, go ahead and claim me. I’m all yours, man.”

Castiel grunted in acknowledgement before he began to push his cock inside of Dean. It was a long, slow slide and Dean had never felt quite so…full wasn’t quite the right word...complete. Yeah, that’s it. He felt complete. Whole. For the first time in God knows how long.

As Castiel began to slowly thrust into him, Dean groaned with pleasure. He never imagined having sex like this would actually feel as amazing as it did. Somehow, he doubted it would ever feel this good with any other guy. Only Cas could make him feel like this, and going forward, only Cas ever would.

Dean started rocking himself into the angel’s thrusts, finding himself wanting more. Cas tightened his grip on his hips. “Stay still for me Dean, please.”

Dean nodded. “Ok, Cas, just please…”

Dean wasn’t sure exactly what he was asking for, all he knew was he wanted…more.

Castiel slowly began to thrust harder and faster, and when he changed his angle so that he began to hit Dean’s prostate, the hunter’s vision nearly whited out from the pleasure of it. “Oh, fuck yeah, right there…”

Castiel then reached out with his grace, caressing Dean everywhere, before slowly focusing almost solely on Dean’s cock. It wasn’t the same as flesh touching him but in some ways, it was oh so much better.

Castiel was fucking him almost urgently now. “I need you to cum for me, Dean.”

“Fuck, Cas. I’m almost there…” Dean groaned. A few more urgent thrusts from the angel, all perfectly hitting his prostate, while the angel’s grace continued to caress and stroke his cock and Dean came with a loud yell as he erupted all over the sheets below.

Almost simultaneously, Dean felt Cas push himself deep into him and grip his hips hard as the angel cried out his own release. Dean felt Cas’ cock throb and twitch as he was filled with the angel’s release.

At that moment, Dean also felt something else. He was still riding high in his post-orgasmic bliss, but there was something more. An overwhelming flood of emotions seemed to hit him like a freight train and without wanting to he began to sob.

Castiel gently pulled out of him and gathered Dean into his arms. “Shh. I know. You’re feeling the bond between us forming. The feelings can be overwhelming at first. Please, don’t fight it. If you just let it happen, it shouldn’t be unpleasant.”

Dean nodded, practically crawling into Castiel’s lap and letting himself be held, letting all the feelings wash over him. It was a jumble of his own repressed emotions along with a flood of feelings from Castiel. A mix of relief, joy and above all else love. So much love.

Once the flood of emotions settled down, Dean pulled back and looked at Castiel with an awestruck expression. “Cas, wow. I had no idea. You’ve felt like this for me…this whole time?”

“Yes,” Castiel said, smiling. “I love you, Dean Winchester. So very much.”

“I love you too,” Dean now freely admitted. “More than I ever realized that I did. I’m sorry I wasted so much time.”

“It wasn’t a waste,” Castiel said. “You and I are now bonded forever. Your soul and mine will always be together. Even long after this world is gone.”

“Seriously? Even though the reapers plan to throw my soul into the Empty when I finally die?” Dean asked.

“That can’t happen now,” Castiel said. “The only reason Billie was even able to threaten that was the fact she knew that your soul in this dimension your soul remained unbonded. Now that we have bonded, your soul will always be drawn to mine. Because of that the Empty would repel it.”

“What about Sam?” Dean asked. “Does he have a soulmate as well?”

Castiel shook his head. “I honestly don’t know.”

“Does this forever soulmate thing only work with angels and humans?” Dean pressed.

“No, it can happen between any two souls that are, literally, made for each other,” Castiel explained. “Be it two humans, two angels, two demons, even the souls of two supernatural creatures or any combination. ”

“Huh,” Dean shrugged. “Well for his sake I hope Sam has a soulmate too. He also deserves some happiness.”

Castiel gave a rare, bright smile then. “Does that mean this makes you happy?”

“Dude, c’mon,” Dean grumbled. “You can feel it through this bond thing, right? Don’t make me say it.”

“Alright,” Castiel agreed as he guided Dean to lie down and he wrapped his arms around him. “Yes, I can feel your joy through the bond.”

“Good, ‘cause you know I don’t do chick flick moments,” Dean groused, all while his soul sang with joy.