Storytime – a Community Effort (by Haruka and Michiru)
Shun: Here’s the game, guys! We're going to tell an ongoing story in which ANYTHING can happen! It doesn't matter how long or short your part is, but you have to mention at least two people from the comm in every entry and give them a role (one of those can be yourself if you like, or the person from the previous post -- it doesn't matter. And the role doesn't necessarily have to be a human one) Roles can change throughout the story, too, so people can be mentioned more than once.
Once upon a time, there was a handsome King named Shinobu. He was young and handsome, and very self-assured. His kingdom was prosperous, and his people found him to be a fairly benevolent ruler (albeit kinda conceited.)
The time was nearing when the King would have to choose a mate. There were many who wished to wear the crown and sit by his side, but the slave boy Mitsuru had already won his heart. Too bad slaves couldn't marry Kings!
(Mitsuru: I'm not sure I like where this is going already.)
As He knew he could never have him, the benevolent, kind, wonderful and beautiful King Shinobu decided to declare war on a neighboring kingdom.
Crushing the kingdom, he set himself up as an emperor, and married the Prince Kurapika, making him the Empress (it's just a title), despite the rumour that he talked too much.
(Kurapika: Thanks a lot. We're having separate rooms.)
(Shinobu: Ah, but you're the captured empress. To make sure your people accept me, you'll need to have babies. But I did it to continue my line, so you can have a separate room.)
(Kurapika: You're so good to me ....)
(Shinobu: Yes, I am. I could have made you part of a harem, you know.)
(Kurapika: Last night I saw a movie where someone tried to kill a king by putting poison on his crown. Interesting ....)
(Shinobu: Good thing I'm an emperor and keep guards on my empress at all times.)
One of the people from Kurapika's former kingdom was Nephrite the Village Idiot. He had been longing to marry Prince Kurapika himself, but now his hopes were all for naught.
Furious with Emperor Shinobu, he headed out on a journey to the Forbidden Mountains, looking for the Evil Wizard Kanou who was rumoured to live there. He would give anything for a spell that would destroy Emperor Shinobu!
(Zoisite: Isn't it fun how fiction can sometimes be so true-to-life?)
(Jadeite: I can’t stop laughing!)
Along the way, he came to a mountain pass, only wide enough for one man. The cliffs were 150 feet high of sheer rock, and the only way to find the Evil Wizard Kanou, would be to pass this way.
Guarding this pass was the lovely harpy Zoisite. Zoisite was eternally in a crabby mood for three reasons.
1. He was the only male of his kind, making him the King of Harpies.
2. All the female harpies were ugly, so he was the only good looking harpy.
3. Finally, he was gay, and being the only male harpy, it made for a huge case of sexual frustration.
As the female harpies were too ugly to look upon, he decided to leave Harpitopia, and take out his crabbiness on passing travelers trying to go through the pass where Nephrite, the Village Idiot, was currently parked.
(Zoisite: I'm a harpy?? Well, at least you made me good-looking. You'd have had to die, otherwise.)
(Jadeite: I figured you'd like that better than a sphinx. At least this way you have wings instead of a really big, fat butt.)
(Zoisite: Smart boy.)
Zoisite the Harpy King knew from the moment that he saw Nephrite the Village Idiot that he would have a particularly fun time making his life miserable. He flew over to land in front of him and said that he would only be able to pass if he could give the answer to the eternal question, "How many licks DOES it take to get to the centre of a Tootsie Pop?"
"Two-thousand, three hundred and five," replied Nephrite. Zoisite gave him a flat-eyed look.
"Lucky guess," he muttered. "But since you answered correctly, you may pass. However, beware! There are yet more dangers on this road you choose to travel. You might want to take on a traveling companion." He snapped his fingers. "Kio the Pegasus is trapped in a cave just over that rise -- if you free him, maybe he'll help you reach the Evil Wizard Kanou."
"You can fly," Nephrite pointed out. "Why don't YOU help me?"
"Screw you, you're on your own!"
(Ritsuka: *giggle* Soubi!! Who'd have thought you'd have a funny sense of humour?
(Soubi: Learn something new every day, hmm?)
When Nephrite, The Village Idiot, got over the rise, he found the local pride of cats, headed by Kyo. His right paw feline, Karupin, was laying meatloaf in the middle of the path, with the six little kittens, May, Yayoi, Ritsuka, Midori, Youji and Natsuo, playing around him. Mamushi hissed at Nephrite, The Village Idiot, warningly.
Kyo padded over and looked up at Nephrite, and asked him what he wanted, showing gleaming teeth.
(Nephrite: Was it necessary to call me the village idiot more than ONCE in the same paragraph??)
(Kyo: It fits the story. It's just fiction, Nephrite....)
(Zoisite: Psst! Thanks, Kyo!)
Nephrite the Village Idiot gazed down at the talking cat and said, "Wow, a talking cat!" (he IS an idiot, after all.) Then he remembered his mission. "I need to free Kio the Pegasus from his cave so that he can take me to the Evil Wizard Kanou so that I can bargain with him to kill Emperor Shinobu!"
(See, telling your entire assassination plot to a stranger is also a sure sign you're dealing with an idiot.)
Midori kitten bit him on the ankle and tried to climb up his pant leg with his sharp little claws digging into the flesh underneath.
"Daddy!" Midori said. "I thought Kio the Pegasus could only be ridden by his true owner, Ayase the Last Uke on Earth!"
(Zoisite: Midori, you rock! XD)
(Nephrite: You just like that he emphasized my being an idiot so many times!)
(Zoisite: And so well!)
(Jadeite: I can't stop laughing STILL!)
Kyo, the King of all Cats, nodded sagely.
"Yes, my son, only the beautiful Ayase, the Last Uke on Earth, can ride the Pegasus, Kio. Hark, Village Idiot, we will not allow you near the cave holding the Pegasus. We're holding him prisoner, trying to lure out the innocent Ayase, the Last Uke on Earth. And only an idiot would dare to fight us!"
Nephrite, the Village Idiot, looked dumbly down at Kyo and Midori. "You can both talk!" He exclaimed. He shook his head, and rubbed his sore leg. "No, I must fight you, for I need Kio the Pegasus! He will take me to the Evil Wizard Kanou so that I can bargain with him to kill Emperor Shinobu!" He said, repeating himself as he had already forgotten that he had told them his entire plan.
"With what will you fight us? You have no knife. You have no sword. Idiocy is not contagious," Karupin chuckled.
"If you can bring us Ayase, the Last Uke on Earth, we will give you Kio the Pegasus," Kyo sat, tail swishing.
"And if you refuse, we'll feed you to Ayame," the adorable kitten Ritsuka, chimed in.
"Yessssssssss," a voice hissed, "I would enjoy thissssssss ssssssnack."
(Zoisite: I am DYING, this is so cool! XD)
(Nephrite: I don't know about dying, but someone might get dead before long. My first choice is you, Zoisite.)
(Ritsuka: You realize you're getting a lot of 'screen time', right?)
(Nephrite: Who ASKED for it?!)
(Ritsuka: You should be more appreciative.)
End of Part 1
None of these characters belong to us.
This fic is not to be re-posted.