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Operation Texting

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I think Hotch and Prentiss are up to something.

Are you texting me while sitting across from me on the plane? Really Morgan!

I can't exactly talk about this in the open, Pretty boy.

Give me your reasons for this thought. She has never said a word to me.

Watch the way he touches her as he walks by. Watch how she looks at him when he does it. Get ready, he is gonna pass by her with his coffee.

Ah. I see your point, eye contact is considered one of the first steps in flirtation, not to mention that touching while speaking or perhaps passing by is a beginning form of foreplay.

Don't start rambling Reid.

You asked. Plus that doesn't mean anything. We do that all the time with each other.


You touch me all the time when we talk and when you pass by.

Morgan? Are you asleep?




There is definitely something going on. He keeps looking at his phone here at the crime scene. He just giggled.

I'm watching Prentiss here. I have to agree that they are indeed texting each other. She just snorted at something he typed. I am going to see if I can overlook what they are writing.

You may want to rethink overlooking. I would hate for it to corrupt your innocent mind.

Innocent? Why does everyone here think that I am clueless. I'll have you know, I know all about sex.

What book did you read?

Blow me.

I'm going to assume you know how that can be taken.

You are referring to sucking dick, yes I understand the term.

I can't believe you just texted the words 'sucking dick' You surprise me all the time.

You surprise me every time you think I am clueless. I am not a teenager.

We are way off topic, go see if you can see what she is typing. Rossi is keeping his phone well away from me.

Sorry it took me so long. She asked me if I was seeing someone. It threw me off. She said I was smiling a lot today. I think she was trying to distract me.

Headed back to the station now. Hotch is still typing away on his phone. I am surprised he gets anything done with all the texting.

We managed to get stuff done and we texted all day.





Please. I am getting no where here. These local cops don't want to hear us.

Different town, same story. I'll be there in 5. Did you get Prentiss' phone yet?

She is guarding that thing like it's her precious.


Read a book.

Oh excuse me, genius.

Lets just say she is not letting it go for a second. I may have better luck with Hotch. He really doesn't see me as a threat.

He is one of the best profilers there is Reid. He knows you are the biggest threat on the team. He would never underestimate you.

You are right. You put his phone in his pocket as soon as I got within two feet of him. I think we need a better plan.

How are they acting around each other?

Like they have a secret.



I have information about Operation Texting.

Are you sure your not a teenager.

I'm sure, and shut up. I saw Hotch text about meeting at 11 tonight. Trying to find out if he said a place.

Good Job. Keep looking.

Are we going spy on them like 007?

Holy shit Kid, you are crazy. You don't need to see that.

I'm not trying to see anything, need I remind you that Prentiss is like my sister. Plus I have no desire to see Hotch sans clothes.

If we go spying, we may get an eyeful or an earful.

I think I can handle an earful.

Have you ever had an earful Pretty boy?

What kind of question is that? Are you asking me about hearing people have sex?



Would you like to tell me why Garcia is texting me asking if I am a virgin?

What? I have no idea why she would ever ask that.

Did you answer her?

Why is this so interesting?

I don't know, ask her.

She said you were wondering.

She just said it wasn't you, never mind.

Ok I saw that they are meeting near the pool. There is a pool at the hotel?

Focus Reid. Yeah there is a pool. Ok we will start 'Operation Text" tonight.

Holy Moly.



You go to the left of the pool and hide. I'll follow Hotch. If he sees me, I'll think of something.

I'm in place Q.


I am hiding. I swear, you need to read a book.

You need to get laid.

She told you!

I don't know what you're talking about. Focus. Hotch is leaving now.

Focus? Why didn't you just ask me?

I don't know. I was just wondering. I'll ask next time.

Next time? You already know I'm a virgin now. What good is that?

Holy shit, you text back fast when you're pissed.

If I want to know anything else I'll ask you.

I see Hotch. Where is Prentiss?

Beats me.

Ok I have a question.

Sure you do....go ahead.

Do you like girls?

WHAT? Are you asking if I am straight or gay?

I guess, yes.

Does it matter to you?

Not at all. I figure as your best friend, this information should already be known.

I don't really have a preference. I guess I want who I want. I don't care on the gender.


No, I am making this personal information up. Now pay attention to Hotch.

Where are you?

Behind the big potted plant at 6 o'clock

Prentiss is here. I can kinda see them, how about you?

They're leaving, getting in the SUV. Shit, this was a bust.

Want to go eat?

Yeah lets go.



Hotch just asked me how the pool was.

What? Shit.

I told him it looked clean and sanitary.

What the hell kind of answer is that? Reid?

Well it was not a question I was expecting. I had to throw something else out there. I went on to tell him about how pool chemicals were made and he told me to get back to work, so I think I covered it up pretty good.

Yeah right. Pool chemicals. I don't know why I asked?

I am not very good at the 007 missions. I mean does it really matter if they are doing something?

You are not curious about two team members spending all this time texting each other and then leaving together at 11 at night?

Well, we have been texting more than they have and we left to eat at 11 last night, together. Maybe they are like us.

Yeah, That is what I am saying.




Hotch just told me to stop texting while he is giving a profile. See now I am in trouble.

He is giving me the stink eye, stop texting while he is talking.

I think HE needs to get laid.

Great, now I spit coffee all over this officer and he is pissed.

Warn a guy before you throw that out there. LOL

What's LOL?

I finally have some knowledge that you don't know? Oh this is great.



Oh and I am the teenager?

I'll ask Garcia.




Prentiss and Hotch just left the station together. They went to get 'Coffee". They wouldn't let me go.

I'm going to just ask JJ.

No, this covert operation is kinda fun.




Can I ask you a question?

Aren't you supposed to be watching the building for the unsub?

I'm in the back seat, Hotch and Prentiss can watch, if they stop making goo goo eyes at each other. I am way too smart to be subjected to this. I've made sure to drive them nuts talking so now as long as I am quiet they don't care what I am doing.

Goo Goo eyes? I swear you come up with some crazy shit.

Ok, ask.

Have you ever slept with a co-worker?

A little personal.

You wanted to know about my sexual preference and if I got laid, I think I deserve and answer.

I guess the answer would be Yes. But not the same department.

Not a team mate though?

No. There are a lot of rules about that.

oh. ok.

There wasn't anyone I wanted to break the rule for before.

Before what?



You talk in your sleep, Pretty boy.

No I don't.

If I did, I would be one of the 5% of Adults that do.

What did I say?

Wouldn't you like to know.

That is why I asked, Morgan.

I think you were dreaming.


What did you dream about last night, Pretty boy?



Hotch just tucked Prentiss' hair behind her ear.

I think you are over reading this stuff. You do that to me.

Reid, you really are clueless sometimes.



What the hell is Hotch wearing?

Do you think he knows he has Prentiss' shirt on instead of his?

I do believe that this is conformation of Hotch getting laid.

I just told Prentiss she needs to switch tops before the officers notice and check their supply closet for DNA evidence. She didn't laugh.

LOL I can't believe you said that. Hotch just ran out of here with her as soon as she walked in. This is fun. You are amazing, my friend.



Meet me at the pool. Hotch and Prentiss are in the suv.

I'm not back yet. Rossi and I are headed back now. What are they doing?

Just talking but they are like 3 inches apart and she has a dopey look on her face.

Dopey? you have a 187 IQ and you use dopey?

I'm just full of fucking surprises.

Whoa, pissed I see. Who pissed in your corn flakes?

It's nothing. Something someone said.


Garcia. No big deal. Let it go.

I'll keep watching, see you later. Why am I still watching? Don't we already know they are together.

We can stop watching, we have conformation. Though catching them at it is fun.



Where the hell are you?

I'm at the pool.

Are you serious?

Yeah, it's nice and clean. Relaxes me.

Are you coming up to the room?

I'll be there later.


JJ is here, I'm going to see what she says about all of this Prentiss/Hotch stuff.

Don't come right out and ask. Be smooth.

Have I never been smooth in my life? I don't understand smooth. I do however understand hiding things. I am good at that.

Spencer, somehow I pretty much always know when you're hiding stuff.

No you don't.

Keep thinking that, Pretty boy

JJ says they have been fooling around for months. We are really slow.

Other things on our minds I guess.



I said I was sorry.

Sorry isn't going to cut it.

What else can I say?

I am too embarrassed to deal with this.

What do you want me to say Spencer?

Oh so now you'll call me Spencer?

I heard my name, what did you want me to do?

Not barge in the bathroom.

It isn't a big deal. Don't worry about it.

Reid, really it doesn't bother me at all.

Are we still going to play 007?

Text me later.


I swear to God Morgan, you told Garcia?


I realize that you tell her most things and she is who you talk to, but...

Wait a minute. You tell her things and she tells me. She tells you everything I go to her with doesn't she? OMG

Reid relax, she doesn't say much.

I can't even believe I was so stupid. You know everything.

We can talk about this.


Spencer, do not ignore me.

God Damn it



Where are you?


Are we down to one word answers?


Don't you think we should talk?

Talk to Garcia.

Come on Spencer. She didn't say much. I mean she must have told you things about me.

Forget it.

Are you coming back to the room?

I really don't think so.

I can't really face you tonight.

Why not. I am not mad about this morning. Who hasn't done that?

I am sure most people say their best friends name out loud while in the shower....doing things.

I said it didn't bother me. I don't know why you are so worried about Garcia. Think about it Spencer, do you really need to worry about this?


Fuck, Just answer me.



You need to talk to me.

What do you want me to say to you?

Stop hiding.

Ok, fine. If you don't ever want to talk to me after I guess I'll just deal with it.

Don't be dramatic. There is nothing you can say to make me not talk to you. You are really blind sometimes.

I am not blind. How can you say that?

We have been playing 007 with Hotch and Prentiss and almost every time you have mentioned that we tend to act the same way with one another, get a clue.

It is easy for you to play with me, I get it. I am safe. I am clueless and won't read into anything too much. I get it.

I wish you were here so I could hit you.

Well I think I will avoid that.

Take a chance Spencer. Just tell me what the hell is going on and what you are hiding.

I am a virgin. I have kissed a few people. Nothing like fireworks. Pretty much didn't care about it. I have only been in love once. I tend to say his name, when showering, while touching myself. I get that this is weird for you. I mean you joke with me, I get it. I will leave you alone now.

Stop, I said not to be dramatic. Let me go over a few things with you.

Ok. Go ahead.

Don't interrupt until I tell you I am finished. You do realize doing this via text is stupid.

Easier to say things and read them. Scientific fact, want me to list the statistics and facts?

God no, not right now. Ok. Are you going to shut it?

Just go. I won't text back until you ask me to.

First, I told you how Hotch was touching Prentiss and she was throwing looks at him. Then you said we do that all the time.
Second, We text all day, and giggle.

Third, The idea that you even used the phrase 'sucking dick' did wonderful things to my mind.
Fourth, Once again you compared us to Hotch and Prentiss and I agreed we were like them.

Fifth, I needed to know your sexuality.
Sixth, I would break the work rules for you

Seventh, You dream about me and that makes me imagine crazy things.
Eighth, When I walked in on you, I wanted to just shove you back into the shower and finish what you had started.

Finally, If you haven't figured it out yet, I am absolutely head over heels for you. I am clueless as to what to say next. Let me know.

It would have been less stressful if you would have just climbed into the shower. I think the shock would have worn off after the first touch.

Are you coming back here?

Yeah, um, how awkward is this going to be?

I'll make it easy on you. I'll go take a shower and practice saying your name.

I'll be there in two minutes.