I did a horrible thing when I was sixteen years old. I didn't want to admit it to myself, but I knew deep down I was wrong. I was perfect...an angel barely tainted by the imperfectness of the world. Some said I was sent from heaven, but I didn't feel like that anymore. I was near the end of my sophomore year when I broke up with my boyfriend. It crushed him more that it crushed me since I knew deep down that I was deeply in love with another.
He was a bad boy, seventeen years running with a steep criminal record. Besides his green complexion, I thought he was the sweetest guy when he started going to Ellington high. We were both caught up in a forbidden love, "Hate That I Love You" was our theme song. For he had his own lover...the very girl I had befriended. Even though I knew that I didn't want to hurt her, I couldn't hide the feelings I had for him. I remember the night he told me he had to break up with her. I cried with him, but I was happy to know that. That was the night of my perfect fall...the night I made the biggest mistake...
Where am I now, you ask. I'm in a hospital bed all alone...yep, that was my big mistake. That night, I did sleep with him and I didn't even know I was pregnant until I went to San Diego to visit my mom's sister, Meaghan, and her Spanish husband, Felix. It was two days ago and she was born premature. I was having pains and aunt Meaghan took me to the clinic only for them to rush me to the hospital. I didn't even get to hold my baby before they took her away.
Two weeks later, I was released from the hospital with my little baby daughter. Aunt Meaghan came to assist me and bring us to her house. I was finally able to hold her and look at her. She looked just like me especially when she opened her eyes- the same crystal blue I had. As soon as I put her to sleep, Aunt Meaghan was eager to ask about what happened.
"I don't know what to do with her. I'm only sixteen."
"Do you think we could take her in?"
"DeeDee, you know we never had kids. We would love to take her as our own."
"You can't tell my parents or brother..no one I know. She'll be my secret daughter."
"You know I will, because you're my favorite. But I just want to know what happened."
"Well, there was this guy that transferred to Ellington High freshman year and he had his own issues and baggage and girlfriend."
"Did you know about her before you slept with him?!"
"Yes, but they broke up and I was separated from my boyfriend. He was crying and I was crying then we started making out and everything just escalated and now I'm a mother."
"You should have been more discerning, Dee. Did you really love that boy to go through that?"
"Yes, I did." Tears started running down my face. "We loved each other even when we were with others. I helped his adjust to high school and we slowly fell in love."
"You got it bad. What does he look like? How old is he?"
I handed her a picture of us and said, "He goes by Ace and he's twenty-six. He's been in and out of jail for seventeen years and he's enrolled as a rising junior like me."
"I never thought you were into bad boys. He looks like an interesting character."
"He is, but I love him anyway. He's trying to change his ways."
"Well, that's good. Uncle Felix is so excited that we are adopting her."
"I bet. Thank you, Aunt Meaghan."
"No problem, DeeDee."
The beginning of junior year was a week after I came back home from San Diego. I was hooking up with Ace again (secretly I was on birth control now). He was telling me he didn't want to make up with his ex-girlfriend anymore since he was madly in love with me. He made our relationship official after two weeks. But I still felt guilty about never telling him that I was pregnant and gave our daughter to my aunt and uncle. I still couldn't forget about her though. Aunt Meaghan would send pictures of her via text message. Junior Prom was amazing too. Ace helped me pick out a mint green dress and took me. I felt like Cinderella that night, the only problem was that Ace stayed true to me, but I couldn't tell him we have a daughter.
My parents allowed me to go back to San Diego by Aunt Meaghan and Uncle Felix that summer two days before my baby's first birthday, Aunt Meaghan opened the door holding her tight. She smiled at me showing her two little top fangs that grew in. Her crystal blue eyes sparkled as the tufts of her black hair blew in the mild June wind. She got even chubbier ever since her birth too.
"Come in, DeeDee. Alejandra really missed you," she assured.
"Yeah, your uncle Felix named her after his deceased grandmother...oh man could that woman cook! But we named her Alejandra Danyell Garcia."
"Danyell? Where did you get that from?"
"I just like the name. Are you hungry? Your uncle just cooked."
"Yeah." After I ate, Aunt Meaghan handed me Alejandra and asked, "How long are you going to be here?"
"The rest of the summer," I answered tickling Alejandra's tummy. I loved the way she laughed showing her fangs.
"Oh, good. Are you still with her father?"
"Yes, we are dating now." I showed her the ring he gave me. "I even brought some pictures from prom."
"Aww! Aren't you two just cute?!," she said looking through the pictures.
"I miss him. He didn't want to let me go when I told him I was leaving."
That summer was truly amazing. I loved finally spending time with my daughter. That July, her thin black hair became thicker and grew out. Sure her black hair clashed with her blue eyes, but she was beautiful to me. She loved to smile showing her fangs too. Whenever I touched her hair after brushing it, it felt soft and smooth as her father's whenever I'd work my fingers through his hair. I remember one day she picked up my photo album and brought it to me. When I got to a picture of Ace, she yelled "Green!"
I laughed and asked, "How'd you learn to say that?"
"Green!," she chirped again.
"Yeah, that's your daddy."
"Well, Uncle Felix is your father too."
"And Aunt Meaghan and I are your mother."
"Mama!" I laughed again as she tried to grip the album in her tiny hands. It slipped and fell backwards on the floor. "Oops." I picked it back up and put it on the coffee table. Then I went in my bag and took out two dolls Soyen made of Ace- one when he was seventeen and another when he was twenty-six. I gave her the one of when he was seventeen. "Da Da!" She squeezed the doll with all her might which made me smile.
That evening, Ace called me. I had just finished bathing Alejandra and getting her ready for bed, She never let go of that doll either. It was just me and her that night since Aunt Meaghan and Uncle Felix went out to eat.
"Hello," I chirped happily.
"Hey," he answered back nonchalantly. I giggled, blushing on the other side of the phone. "I miss you."
"I miss you too."
"Da Da! Green!," Alejandra yelled in the background. I turned and saw her hugging the doll again.
"What was that?" I was trying to think of a good lie and then it hit me when he said, "Dee, what was that?"
"That was my baby cousin. I'm babysitting for my aunt and uncle. She misses my uncle."
"Then why did she say 'green'?"
"I taught her how to say that. Yeah, she caught on fast."
"Because I'm always on your mind?" He sounded so flirtatious on the other side and his accent, man I loved it. I blushed after he said that. He was right. I was always thinking about him.
"Well, I can't stop thinking about you either. When are you coming back?"
"The first week of August."
"But that only gives us two weeks until senior year."
"I know, but I figured that was enough time."
"Why are you always going to your aunt and uncle's anyway?"
"I love going to San Diego. My aunt and uncle are the best."
"Must be. I wanted to spend all summer with you though."
"Well, I have to go. Good night, I love you."
"I love you too." Click on the other side of the line, my heart started beating faster. I wanted to spend time with my daughter, but I missed Ace even more. I was torn, truly I was. I fell asleep that night with a heavy heart dreaming about him. I even had Alejandra in the room I sleep in.
August. Time to go back home. I missed Ace, but I don't think I wanted to leave Alejandra either. Aunt Meaghan helped me pack my bags and put them in her new SUV. She told Uncle Felix to watch Alejandra while she dropped me off to my house. Alejandra was screaming and crying when I walked out the door reaching for me. I just patted her short jet black hair and kissed her cheek. I let her keep the doll and waved goodbye. The last thing I heard her say was "Green!" Little did I know, that it was the last time I would see her like that again. Aunt Meaghan dropped me off at the door of my house and took off. It was really dark in my house. I walked up to my room and there he was...
Ace. He was sitting on my bed only wearing his old khakis. Candles were lit all around in the dim lit room. He smiled, got up, took me by the hand, and led me where he was sitting. He wrapped his arms around me and kissed my neck.
"I'm so glad you're back," he whispered.
"Yeah, no place like home. How did you get into my house?"
"I know how to pick locks."
"Won't my parents get mad if they know you're here?"
"Probably not. They know we're dating. Besides, after you left they went on a cruise."
"What about my brother?"
"Are you trying to get rid of me?"
"Good. Your parents don't have to know that we sleep together. You were all up for it last year."
"I know. But it's wrong."
"Fine. We could just cuddle."
"I would feel more comfortable if we got rid of the candles."
"Okay." After he blew out all the candles, he snuggled by me in my bed wrapping his arms around my waist.
"So what about that cousin of yours?" My stomach dropped when he said that.
"Why are you shaking? Answer my question."
"So is that why you're always going to San Diego?"
"Oh yeah. My aunt had her last year and I became her godmother."
"Well, that's nice. What's her name?"
"Umm...Alejandra. After my uncle's grandmother."
"Ace! I'm tired, please stop."
"I didn't mean to aggravate ya," he said after kissing my neck. "Sweet dreams."
I felt so bad lying to Ace that night. I still loved him, but I didn't know how to tell him that we have a daughter.
Our relationship didn't last long that year. In September, Ace and his ex-girlfriend got back together. I was sad that I had to go back to being friends (with benefits) with him too. Then in November, my ex-boyfriend begged me to take him back. I took him back, of course, we became a little closer through it all too. But then Aunt Meaghan stopped sending pictures of Alejandra and I began to forget about her. Then all my dreams seemed closer to me when I got into acting school and my boyfriend proposed to me at twenty-one.
After marriage, there came our twins McKenna and Malone and ironically, Ace and his wife had boy-girl twins Clover and Spade. But my husband wanted me to stay away from Ace. (It doesn't work though!) But I guess what made me forget even more about Alejandra was not only the birth of my twins, but how great my life is now. I mean, I'm an actress and my husband is an executive of DexCorp. We live in a mansion in the town I grew up in with our own maid, Rosalita Sanchez. But everytime I laid my head down to sleep, I knew something was missing...