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Chat Fic I Wrote In Two Hours That No One Wants

Chapter Text

Ms.Frizzle added RoyaltyTM, tiredofyou, and ChainsandWhipsExciteMe into a groupchat.

RoyaltyTM: what the hell????is this??????

tiredofyou: that’s enough ?’s

Ms.Frizzle: I am very bored and

Ms.Frizzle changed the chat to tiredofeverything

tiredofyou: i want trademark

Ms.Frizzle: K

Ms.Frizzle changed the chat to tiredofeverythingTM

RoyaltyTM: but why me?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: were in hell

Ms.Frizzle: No you can leave anytime you want

tiredofyou: why did you start this at like midnight

Ms.Frizzle: I am very bored and you guys are my only friends i havent bugged today

tiredofyou: and i trusted you

RoyaltyTM: and i was thankful you didnt do this

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: i am thankful cuz now i have two groupchats

RoyaltyTM: No youre thankful for the fact you now can bug me and diana all night long

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: ye that 2

tiredofyou: pls type civilized

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: hell no

Ms.Frizzle: I regret everything now

RoyaltyTM: good

tiredofyou: youre also happy cuz your toy is here

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Yes def that

Ms.Frizzle: I am NOT his toy

RoyaltyTM: how do you do the lenny face

tiredofyou: you cant i tried

RoyaltyTM: dam

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: you can spell the entire word ya know

RoyaltyTM: nO

Ms.Frizzle: Y’all

RoyaltyTM: look what you did

tiredofyou: explain

RoyaltyTM: anytime someone says y-a sams says teXANs woRDS

tiredofyou: omg

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: ya

RoyaltyTM: NO

Ms.Frizzle: Y’all’d

tiredofyou: ya

RoyaltyTM: i trusted you

Ms.Frizzle: Y’all’d’ve

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: how do pronounce that

Ms.Frizzle: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

RoyaltyTM: howd you do that

Ms.Frizzle: aint telling

tiredofyou: night boys

Ms.Frizzle: *bois

RoyaltyTM: dangit

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: *Dammit

RoyaltyTM: b YE

Ms.Frizzle: Gtg

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: k <3

Ms.Frizzle: No

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: forever heartbroken now

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: thx

Ms.Frizzle: Np

InnocentExceptQuinn

Ms.Frizzle: Hi

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: how are you awake it’s 5

Ms.Frizzle: Nightmares

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: shit ಠ_ಠ srry

Ms.Frizzle: It fine

SurferAndFisher-Boi: he right

Ms.Frizzle: Youre up this early anyway

SurferAndFisher-Boi: so? It’s for my job

Ms.Frizzle: It a school day

SurferAndFisher-Boi: im not riding the bus today

Ms.Frizzle: That’s irrational

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: why

SurferAndFisher-Boi: the bus driver had his third heart attack in two weeks and its a different bus driver,, Sam’s a bad-luck charm

Ms.Frizzle: Am not

PureTM: You so are.

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: hey babe

PureTM: Hey, how’s art school?

The-gay-palette-suits-me-better: good and you?

SurferAndFisher-Boi: look its one of the three TMs

PureTM: Good. Quinn, stop it.

SurferAndFisher-Boi: NO. YOU CANT SILENCE ME

PureTM: Where’s Sam?

Ms.Frizzle: Sorry on another chat

SurferAndFisher-Boi: how many do you have

Ms.Frizzle: 5

SurferAndFisher-Boi: ajdksfsdssk what the heck SAM

Ms.Frizzle: I like having friends

SurferAndFisher-Boi: im at the dock, we’ll discuss this later

Ms.Frizzle: I dont see what we have to discuss but k later

PureTM: I’m at school, so talk to you in lunch, Roger.

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: talk to you then

Ms.Frizzle: bye roger

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: bye

NeedsHelpTbh

gunsandcigarettes: you comin after school today?

Ms.Frizzle: ofc

tiredofyou: same

tiredofyou: school’s lettin me out for therapy

Ms.Frizzle: yay

tiredofyou: lana watch

tiredofyou: ya

Ms.Frizzle: Y’all’d’ve

gunsandcigarettes: wha tthe

tiredofyou: is everything fine

gunsandcigarettes: my parents are even more worried than normal cuz they found me dying in my room thx

tiredofyou: good.

Ms.Frizzle: Is patrick okay

gunsandcigarettes sent the photo [he’s getting a lil chubby]

Ms.Frizzle: Dont listen to lana patrick your perfect

tiredofyou: tell him he’s the reason my mind is clear

gunsandcigarettes: k

gunsandcigarettes: he says right back atcha

tiredofyou: atcha

Ms.Frizzle: new texan word

tiredofyou: yeS

tiredofyou: Lana?

gunsandcigarettes: it happened again you fuckers

Ms.Frizzle: Sorry not sorry

gunsandcigarettes: i can tbreathe

gunsandcigarettes: sanj is worried

gunsandcigarettes: help

tiredofyou: can your mom make those lemon squares

Ms.Frizzle: Those are really good pls lana

gunsandcigarettes: fine

Ms.Frizzle: I will bring koolaid

Ms.Frizzle: Diana pls bring movies

tiredofyou: k

gunsandcigarettes: sam you cured my mental illness with that

Ms.Frizzle: Now i have a life purpose thanks Lana

tiredofyou: bye

Ms.Frizzle: bye

gunsandcigarettes: bye

Coates_Bad_Trio

RoyaltyTM: why are you smiling like that

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: i didnt not set bug’s underpants on fire while they were on the flag pole

tiredofyou: drake wtf

RoyaltyTM: we’ll come back to you in a min drake diana why are you smiling like that

tiredofyou: i get to leave this hellhole

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: good for you can you take me with you

tiredofyou: no

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: fu

RoyaltyTM: why are you leaving

tiredofyou: therapy

RoyaltyTM: oh do you want me to drop you anywhere or pick you up

tiredofyou: i got a ride no worries

RoyaltyTM: just being a good friend

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: i can hear the emphasis in your voice

RoyaltyTM: now back to this bug underpants thing

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: shit

Chapter Text

Okay this is Fluffy’s brother, and I was sitting here with her as she wrote this, she has a spread sheet for this story, for everyone's names, and on a column she literally has “TeXAN WoRDS.”  And she searched “types of cactuses”

no joke, she is seriously messed up.

HappyforLife

SurferAndFisher-Boi: okay we need to talk

Too-Smart-For-You: what are we talkin about

SurferAndFisher-Boi: Sam

cantbevinced: y r we talkin bout sam

Too-Smart-For-You: he can see this Quinn

SurferAndFisher-Boi: no he cant i have his phone

Too-Smart-For-You: why do you have his phone???????

SurferAndFisher-Boi: we’re taking a test in history and i stole it and

SurferAndFisher-Boi: i have his passcode so nbd

Too-Smart-For-You: yes bd this is such a privacy issue

cantbevinced: stop ignoring me

cantbevinced: what about sam

SurferAndFisher-Boi: i think he depressed or smth

Too-Smart-For-You: what evidence do you have

SurferAndFisher-Boi: hes really quiet and his eyes like glaze over sometimes,

SurferAndFisher-Boi: And he zones out alot like 75% of the time

Too-Smart-For-You: I could talk to him for you

SurferAndFisher-Boi: pls

SurferAndFisher-Boi: he wont talk to me at all

SurferAndFisher-Boi: I’m really worried

cantbevinced: maybe he just needs space

SurferAndFisher-Boi: idek man

SurferAndFisher-Boi: alright someone just texted him and asked what type of koolaid how do i respond

Too-Smart-For-You: DOnt

PureTM: Sam’s on his way.

SurferAndFisher-Boi: you guys got done with the test that quick? shit

PureTM: He reached into his bag and looked ready to fight.

cantbevinced: fight the government or fight the school

Too-Smart-For-You: theres a difference?

cantbevinced: yup

PureTM: The Government.

cantbevinced: youd better run quinn

Too-Smart-For-You: there’s a difference with that too?

cantbevinced: yea,,, gov is motivated, but you dont want to but your pushed

cantbevinced: school is really excited too, but not very motivated

cantbevinced: Government means ready to put your head on spike during your kids bday party and happily do it.

Too-Smart-For-You: omg

PureTM: Quinn, is everything alright?

Ms.Frizzle: Things are fine edilio

cantbevinced: are you okay sam?

Ms.Frizzle: Im fine

Ms.Firzzle: Pissed but fine

PureTM: Why can’t Quinn type?

Ms.Frizzle: His phone had been repossesed

cantbevined: omg

NeedsHelpTbh

gunsandcigarettes: what type of koolaid do ya have?

gunsandcigarettes: sam?

Ms.Frizzle: Nyall

Ms.Frizzle: Someone took my phone so I had to get it back

Ms.Frizzle: On an unrelated topic can we go to the baseball field before movie marathon

gunsandcigarettes: that’s not even a texan word

Ms.Frizzle: *teXANs woRDS

Ms.Frizzle: Im sorry but thats how we have to spell it

gunsandcigarettes: yes we going to the bb field

Ms.Frizzle: I have pink lemon, norm lemon, trop punch, and cherry

tiredofyou: pink lemon

gunsandcigarettes: ya same

Ms.Frizzle: Y’all’d

gunsandcigarettes: that was an accident

tiredofyou: doesnt matter

gunsandcigarettes: yes it does

gunsandcigarettes started a conversation with cantbevinced

gunsandcigarettes: say ya infront of sam

cantbevinced: NO I KNOW WHAT HAPPENS ITS NOT FUN

gunsandcigarettes: omg plls calm down

cantbevinced: k, but i thought it was like an emergency you never talk to me during school

gunsandcigarettes: important discussion: is nyall a teXAN woRD

cantbevinced: i have to ask an expert

HappyforLife

cantbevinced: is nyall a texan word

Ms.Frizzle: *teXAN woRD

cantbevinced: is that why lana writes like that???????

Ms.Frizzle: its the proper spelling

Too-Smart-For-You: nO its NOt

Too-Smart-For-You: and nyall isnt a ‘teXAN woRD”

cantbevinced: i came here for edilio’s word

Too-Smart-For-You: wHAt

PureTM: Judge says ‘yes its a teXAN woRD’. Quinn would also like his phone back, Sam.

Ms.Frizzle: too bad :) :) :) :) :)

Too-Smart-For-You: stop IT.

cantbevinced: thx

cantbevinced started a conversation with gunsandcigarettes

cantbevinced: survey says yes

gunsandcigarettes: shit

cantbevinced: you talk to sam?

gunsandcigarettes: ya why?

cantbevinced: y didnt ya tell me

gunsandcigarettes: aint my place to talk about sam like that why does it matter?

cantbevinced: well you could say that ‘me and sam are friends’ but were dating

cantbevinced: i would like to know that one of my friends and gf know each other and get along

gunsandcigarettes: sanj, me and sam are like cactuses

cantbevinced: cactuses?

gunsandcigarettes: we both need a very certain amount of certain things or we die

gunsandcigarettes: one of those things are secrets, the other is space, and finally is other cactuses

gunsandcigarettes: me and sam need to have an environment,,, you’re like the guy with the water pail

gunsandcigarettes: important and knows how to exactly do everything right for his cactuses

cantbevinced: lana,,, am i really that important to you

gunsandcigarettes: of course even before we started dating

cantbevinced sent image [im crying]

gunsandcigarettes: aw, sanj

cantbevinced: people are looking at me funny i gtg <3

gunsandcigarettes: …<3

AmazingMoofs

onyourleftboii: heyyy

gravityandboysdontaffectme: hey bri

onyourleftboii: soooo,,,, friday governments coming to check up on us

Ms.Frizzle: Ughhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

gravityandboysdontaffectme: sam relax

Ms.Frizzle: I hate this

onyourleftboii: i kno

gunsandcigarettes: you can type 1000000 wpm so please spell it right

onyourleftboii: no

gunsandcigarettes: guys watch… ya

Ms.Frizzle: Y’all’d’ve’d

onyourleftboii: what

gravityandboysdontaffectme: omg nooooo sam

onyourleftboii: what if this is why caine hates texas sam took all the good meme mgenes for himself

Ms.Frizzle: Meme genes,,,menes,,,gemes,,,pepe

gravityandboysdontaffectme: sam no stop it now please

Ms.Frizzle: K

onyourleftboii: it dat boi

Ms.Frizzle: O shit waddup

gravityandboysdontaffectme: bYE

NeedsHelpTbh

Ms.Frizzle: So im a cactus

gunsandcigarettes: he told you that

Ms.Frizzle: Yea i caught him crying uncontrolably in bathroom

tiredofyou: who is this ‘he’

Ms.Frizzle: Lana’s bf

Ms.Frizzle: I asked him what’s wrong and he just shook his phone at me

Ms.Frizzle: Is diana a cactus too

gunsandcigarettes: yes, but she needs salt

Ms.Frizzle: From teenage boy’s tears

tiredofyou: true

Ms.Frizzle: Can i be a gymnocalycium, its pretty with pink flowers and small

tiredofyou: do you actually research cactus

Ms.Frizzle: Yea

Ms.Frizzle: You’re a ariocarpus, those are the spiny circle ones

tiredofyou: i agree with this

gunsandcigarettes: and me

Ms.Frizzle: Youre a hatiora, they look like branches with pretty small flowers

gunsandcigarettes: i searched these up and honestly agreed

tiredofyou: so i went back and we’re going to the baseball field first why

Ms.Frizzle: You’ll see :) :) :) :) :) :) :) :)

gunsandcigarettes: yes! passive aggressive smileys!

InnocentExceptQuinn

Ms.Frizzle: Is Quinn with any of you?

PureTM: He’s with me. Why?

Ms.Frizzle sent image [lookie at your phone quinn]

PureTM: my phone

PureTM: sammmmm

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: that honestly terrifies me what did you do to it

Ms.Frizzle uploaded a video [i thought you liked baseball quinn :) :) :)]

PureTM: what am i supposed to tell my parents????

Ms.Frizzle: The TruthTM.

Ms.Frizzle: You took your mentally unstable friend’s phone so he destroyed yours

PureTM: what do you mean ‘mentally unstable’

Ms.Frizzle: gtg

PureTM: no sam come back

Chapter Text

Too-Smart-For-You started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle

Too-Smart-For-You : sam can we talk

Ms.Frizzle : Astrid its three in the morning

Too-Smart-For-You : yet you respond instantly

Ms.Frizzle : Im walking my friends dog

Ms.Frizzle : Do you want to see how adorable he is

Ms.Frizzle uploaded image [look at my son]

Too-Smart-For-You : he’s amazing sam

Too-Smart-For-You : but back to the topic, why did smash quinn’s phone with a baseball bat

Ms.Frizzle : He took my phone

Ms.Frizzle : Did you see the video yet

Too-Smart-For-You : yes i saw it but you need to talk to him

Ms.Frizzle : Gtg Astrid

Too-Smart-For-You : SAM

Ms.Frizzle emailed SurferAndFisher-Boi

[hey]

[hey man]

[look im sorry but things are really difficult okay]

[just talk to me man id never judge ya]

[okay so when the government told the world who has powers i was in new york and this gang like jumped me, and by gang i mean mob, like 30 people or something and i was hit and run and all that jazz for two months]

[shit man why didnt ya tell me sooner]

[thats not just it,,, my mom was gone when i got back and ive been on my own for like 4 months,,, the gov’s looking for my dad and my stepdad trying to adopt me and my twin (who i didnt know exist til like 5 months ago) straights up ignores me cuz mom got rid of him, and]

[sam, you can tell me anything]

[the gov, and police already know,,,, but my stepdad is abusive and pedo okay?]

[dude he cant get custody of you though right like my mom will take you in or beat him to death, or kidnap you, you know this]

[he can, because some statue of limitations thing but like gunsandcigarettes and another friend of mine is in my therapy group and we dont talk about that shit with anyone else, but i am getting help just dont tell anyone k?]

[dude id never do you like that,,, but like this isnt as big as yours but im gay and in a relatiionship]

[dude spill now]

[ugh but hes from coates and you hate them]

[tell me or ill leave now]

[....Caine Soren]

[omg gtg]

[sam no come back]

tiredofeverythingTM

Ms.Frizzle : Caine is dating someone

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : who

Ms.Frizzle : Quinn Gaither

RoyaltyTM : how do you know that

Ms.Frizzle: He told me

tiredofyou : omg spill the tea sam

RoyaltyTM : no dont sam

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : who is that

Ms.Frizzle : My friend since preschool,,, and Caine’s bf

RoyaltyTM : i hate you so much

RoyaltyTM : and nyall isnt a texan word

tiredofyou : teXAN woRDS

Ms.Frizzle : It is one though

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : r u ready 4 friday

tiredofyou : stop it

Ms.Frizzle : Dont remind me

RoyaltyTM : all the the moofs are coming to Coates,,, sneak Quinn with you guys

Ms.Frizzle : Do you remember the chocolate your mom gave me when i came over

RoyaltyTM : yes

Ms.Frizzle : bring it for me

RoyaltyTM : got it

Ms.Frizzle emailed SurferAndFisher-Boi

[k im back]

[where did you go]

[talkin to caine]

[how do you know him,, my mom aint mad i told her that you got attacked by a mob and going through pain pill withdrawl]

[thanks for makin my sound like a pill head and hes my twin]

[what]

[yeah fratenal mom got rid of him cuz he looked like the dude she cheated with]

[but you two are 100% related]

[yeah]

[wow]

[so you told him about nyall and hows it teXAN woRD]

[yes and how a friend of mine destroyed my phone]

[k sorry again]

[it fine]

NeedsHelpTbh

tiredofyou : hows the sleepover sammy

Ms.Frizzle : Great,, patrick makes the best pillow

Ms.Frizzle sent the image [jealous diana?]

gunsandcigarettes : get off my dog sam

Ms.Frizzle : He so warm though

Ms.Frizzle : Plus he doesnt mind

tiredofyou: cant you push him off

gunsandcigarettes : no im at the store for some aroma therapy crap for friday at coates

gunsandcigarettes : i mean its your turn next and were already going there so

gunsandcigarettes : Sam i swear to god if your the one playing halsey so loud im gonna kick your ass

gunsandcigarettes : sam unlock the door now

Ms.Frizzle : Promise not to hit me

gunsandcigarettes : k

tiredofyou : yea we can do mine friday

tiredofyou : guys is everything okay

Ms.Frizzle : Lana lied to me >:(

gunsandcigarettes : had it coming

Ms.Frizzle : And worse she woke up patrick

tiredofyou : you monster

gunsandcigarettes : he layed right back down and hes asleep again i even said sorry to him

tiredofyou : sam or pat

gunsandcigarettes : Patrick ofc

Ms.Frizzle : Im too tired to be mad and she lets me on patrick its fine

tiredofyou : night guys

gunsandcigarettes : night

Ms.Frizzle : night

boozeTM started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle

boozeTM : hey sammy

boozeTM : sammmy

boozeTM : sammmyyyyyyy

Ms.Frizzle : Hey orc,,,its five in the morning

boozeTM : did you knw abtu firday

Ms.Frizzle : Yeah, want lana to drive you up in her truck?

boozeTM : yes pls

Ms.Frizzle : How are you and howard

boozeTM : fin howd is delaing

boozeTM : im tlking to snder and jezie

Ms.Frizzle : Do they know about friday?

boozeTM : ye they wan to talk to u bout thir gardn

Ms.Frizzle: I’ll talk to them then

boozeTM : i rely like thieri fasion

Ms.Frizzle : Did they choose something for you?

boozeTM : yeah

AmazingMoofs

onyourleftboii : whose ready to skip class

gravityandboysdontaffectme : you cant skip class its the middle of the week

onyourleftboii : but dekka,,,, its so boring

onyourleftboii : plus i have to stay still or det

onyourleftboii : do you know how hard that is

boozeTM : as hard as me

onyourleftboii : yeah that hard

gravityandboysdontaffectme : hey orc

boozeTM : hey dekks

gravityandboysdontaffectme : was that intential or?

boozeTM : yes

gunsandcigarettes : guys it too early for this

onyourleftboii : no its not, btw your out of milk i had some of your cherrios

gunsandcigarettes : i knew you were the only taking me food

gravityandboysdontaffectme : bri thats stealing

Ms.Frizzle : Im the only one of you heathens that has a capital in their name

onyourleftboii : all my friends are heathens, take it slow

boozeTM : wait for them to ask you who you know

gravityandboysdontaffectme : look what you did

Ms.Frizzle : Please don't make any sudden moves

gunsandcigarettes : dammit sam

Ms.Frizzle : You don't know the half of the abuse

onyourleftboii : all my friends are heathens, take it slow

onyourleftboii : wait for them to ask you who you know

boozeTM : please don't make any sudden moves

onyouleftboii : you don't know the half of the abuse

gravityandboysdontaffectme : pls stop i know you copied and pasted that

Ms.Frizzle : What if we did?

gunsandcigarettes : stop trying to be cool sam

Ms.Frizzle : Fine, and now skipping brianna

onyourleftboii : i cant read suddenly i dont know

Ms.Frizzle : BRIANNA

onyourleftboii : fine sammy

onyourleftboii : ahflhdhjdfhj

gravityandboysdontaffectme : what

onyourleftboii : hey sammmmy

Ms.Frizzle : Oh god no

onyourleftboii : dont be mean sammy

Ms.Frizzle : Pls stop

gravityandboysdontaffectme : whats going on wheres brianna

onyourleftboii : you know those scenes in cartoons where one kid is being held back by the forhead by another kid, that

gravityandboysdontaffectme : omw

Ms.Frizzle : Drake why cant you bug me on the other chat

boozeTM : thats drek get of her phone

onyourleftboii : lol no?

onyourleftboii : my phont got taken by ghghgh

Ms.Frizzle : ?

onyourleftboii : got my phone back dekka came to the rescue

gravityandboysdontaffectme : bye school starting

Ms.Frizzle : bye

boozeTM : bye

CoatesBadTrio

tiredofyou : so Drake got his phone taken away

RoyaltyTM : yes he stealing it back at lunch tho

tiredofyou : he got detention again so dont know how thats gonna work

RoyaltyTM : what did he do this time

tiredofyou : took some younger girl’s phone

tiredofyou : she a moof so she got it back

RoyaltyTM : which one

tiredofyou : the speedy one

RoyaltyTM : ah

RoyaltyTM : her and drake fight each other like 24/7 for some reason

tiredofyou : do i look like i care

RoyaltyTM : tru

RoyaltyTM : why did you go to the office

tiredofyou : i need a pass for my friends friday theyre comin to spend the day here

RoyaltyTM : ah

tiredofyou : can i met quinn

RoyaltyTM : why do you wanna do that

tiredofyou : as your ex i need to warn him

RoyaltyTM : then no

tiredofyou : sam will do it then

RoyaltyTM : NO

tiredofeverythingTM

tiredofyou : sam can you introduce me to quinn

Ms.Frizzle : Sure

RoyaltyTM : NO sam dont

Ms.Frizzle : Why not

RoyaltyTM : im your brother isnt that enough

Ms.Frizzle uploaded gif [sure,jan]

RoyaltyTM : Fine two cases of that chocolate you wanted

Ms.Frizzle : Hmmm

tiredofyou : sam i need to warn him of Caine

Ms.Frizzle : Diana is right tho

RoyaltyTM : Sam pls dont blow this he didnt know before i changed p;s

tiredofyou : sam think of the greater good

Ms.Frizzle : I’ll think about it

RoyaltyTM : S am pls

Chapter Text

InnocentExceptQuinn

SurferAndFisher-Boii: guess whos rich bf bought them a new phone

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: are you gay now

SurferAndFisher-Boii: bi but its brand new too guys

PureTM: What are you Sam?

Ms.Frizzle: Depressed

SurferAndFisher-Boii: sam stop making those jokes

Ms.Frizzle: They aint jokes

PureTM: Sam, are you getting help.

Ms.Frizzle: ye

PureTM: Alright if you say so.

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: guys im comin over for an art exibit i cant wait

Ms.Frizzle: wheres the exhibit

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better: its like a firehouse auction/charity thing and i get to sell my stuff

PureTM: I’m buying all of it.

SurferAndFisher-Boii: can i come

PureTM: No.

SurferAndFisher-Boii: >:(

RoyaltyTM added SurferAndFisher-Boii and Ms.Frizzle into a groupchat.

RoyaltyTM changed groupname to Please_Don’t_Sam

RoyaltyTM: sam im begging pleass dont

SurferAndFisher-Boii: what’s going on

RoyaltyTM: my ex wants to talk to you and that cant happen

RoyaltyTM: sam pls say you wont

SurferAndFisher-Boii: what if i want to met them

RoyaltyTM: do you want to

SurferAndFisher-Boii: i mean you said your still friends with them

SurferAndFisher-Boii: i want to be friends with your friends

RoyaltyTM: no you dont

SurferAndFisher-Boii: wym

RoyaltyTM: you heard rumors about the psycho rite?

SurferAndFisher-Boii: yes, sam says hes annoying

RoyaltyTM: he is and hes my bodyguard

SurferAndFisher-Boii: why do you need a bodyguard

RoyaltyTM: 1, rich

RoyaltyTM: 2, my parents piss people off

RoyaltyTM: 3, i piss people off

RoyaltyTM: 4, i instantly go to jail for using my powers on others

RoyaltyTM: 5, if i dont keep control on him he will either kill everyone or kidnap his crush (who is sam)

SurferAndFisher-Boii: ok that makes sense

SurferAndFisher-Boii: he has a crush on Sam omg

SurferAndFisher-Boii: are you okay sam

RoyaltyTM: he usually isnt this quiet

SurferAndFisher-Boii: SAM

HappyforLife

SurferandFisher-Boii: SAm

cantbevinced: what about him

Too-Smart-For-You: is something the matter quinn

SurferAndFisher-Boii: i cant get to sam to talk to me

SurferAndFisher-Boii: im really scared

Too-Smart-For-You: alright give me a minute

Too-Smart-For-You started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle

Too-Smart-For-You: Sam people are worried talk to quinn

Too-Smart-For-You: sam ?

Too-Smart-For-You emailed tiredofyou

[im sorry to bug you but we are not friends on here so i cant start a conversation, but you’re friends with sam and he is not responding can you try to get in contact with him pls?]

[who are you]

[im astrid ellison, sam’s ex, and his friends, he wont respond not even to quinn]

[on it]

tiredofeverythingTM

tiredofyou: sam quinn wants to talk to you

RoyaltyTM: Sam this isnt funny

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: whats wrong

RoyaltyTM: sam wont respond

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: what what do you mean

tiredofyou: sam talk to someone

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: sam please your scaring me thats hard to do please

NeedsHelpTbh

tiredofyou: sam talk now

gunsandcigarettes: whats going on

tiredofyou: sam aint talking to anyone

gunsandcigarettes: ya

gunsandcigarettes: om sam talk to us pls

gunsandcigarettes: sam i mean it

AmazingMoofs

gunsandcigarettes: sam i swear to god talk to me

onyourleftboii: what

gunsandcigarettes: sam aint talking to anyone

gravityandboysdontaffectme: seriously

gunsandcigarettes: yes

onyourleftboii: what he cant do that can he

gravityandboysdontaffectme: apparently he can

boozeTM: sam ths aint funy

SurferAndFisher-Boii started a conversation with RoyaltyTM

SurferAndFisher-Boii: caine im really worried

SurferAndFisher-Boii: ive called, text, emailed, im going to his house in a min

RoyaltyTM: he’s prob fine

SurferAndFisher-Boii: sam knows this is scaring people and he would do that on purpose exceptly to me

RoyaltyTM: okay maybe his phone died or he lost it

SurferAndFisher-Boii: then he would have emailed me!

RoyaltyTM: email him to let him know maybe he thinks we didn’t notice or smth

SurferAndFisher-Boii: okay

SurferAndFisher-Boii emailed Ms.Frizzle

[sam you’re scaring a lot of people is everything okay

sam this isnt funny talk to me

Sam]

SurferAndFisher-Boii started a conversation with RoyaltyTM

SurferAndFisher-Boii: hes not responding

RoyaltyTM: alright now you can panic

SurferAndFisher-Boii: I know t hat yo uass hat

RoyaltyTM: there’s no need for that language

SurferAndFisher-Boii: gaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ms.Frizzle sent to [All Contacts]

{Guys relax i took a nap}

Please_Don’t_Sam

SurferAndFisher-Boii: yo took a n ap?

Ms.Frizzle: Yes, actually it was a accident

RoyaltyTM: DO YOU KNOW HOW WORRIED EVERYONE WAS

Ms.Frizzle: Now i do

SurferAndFisher-Boii: you fell asleep midday

Ms.Frizzle: Yes

SurferAndFisher-Boii: we’re getting you insomia pills

Ms.Frizzle: Why

RoyaltyTM: so this doesnt happen you little shit

Ms.Frizzle: K, if it helps thunderstorms were going on in the background

RoyaltyTM: why the hell you were listening to thunderstorms

Ms.Frizzle: Halsey acoustic, hurricane, with stormsounds is the background

SurferAndFisher-Boii: just dont do it again okay

Ms.Frizzle: Okay

NeedsHelpTbh

gunsandcigarettes: sam what the hell

Ms.Frizzle: Im getting insomia pills if it helps

gunsandcigarettes: it does a little but still we were so worried

Ms.Frizzle: I wouldnt you know

Ms.Frizzle: I would talk to you guys or quinn, or someone

tiredofyou: yeah just be careful, what if you were swimming, or bathing, or driving or smth

Ms.Frizzle: I cant drive, and it’s too cold to swim, i’ll shower

tiredofyou: you can fall asleep standing up

Ms.Frizzle: The water will be too cold

gunsandcigarettes: what if smth happens patrick’s favorite uncle will be gone

Ms.Frizzle: Tell him not to worry

gunsandcigarettes: no, hes too anxious hes hiding under the couch

Ms.Frizzle: Patrick Im Sorry

Ms.Frizzle: Im sorry to you two too

tiredofyou: too many 2’s

gunsandcigarettes: ya making it worse

Ms.Frizzle: Who’d’ve

Ms.Frizzle: You did that on purpose and im thankful

gunsandcigarettes: when are ya getting ya pills

tiredofyou: Lana stop

Ms.Frizzle: Y’all’n’t,,,aint’d’ll’ve

tiredofyou: what the fuck Sam

Ms.Frizzle: Theres two ya’s

Ms.Frizzle: And next week prob

Ms.Frizzle: Gtg

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: what the hell Sam I was so worried pls dont do this again

Ms.Frizzle: Drake relax caine buying me insomia pills

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: how can i relax you could died

Ms.Frizzle: By taking a nap

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Y es

Ms.Frizzle: Drake im fine

Ms.Frizzle sent the image [lookie, fine]

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: No, im too mad to happy at the picture

Ms.Frizzle: How can i make you not mad

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: spend tomorrow with me

Ms.Frizzle: After the checkup?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: I dont care when

Ms.Frizzle: Alright, just stop being mad

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: YES, i got a date

Ms.Frizzle: It aint a date

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: yes it is

Chapter Text

Bro here, I can tell you, she paused the fic for like 45+ minutes just to fucking look up the meaning of the names.

When they were searching up “Orc” Wilberforce showed up.

I'm getting an AO3 account and maybe  ff.net account.

I'm just ranting while they show me the format of AO3.

 

Too-Smart-For-You started a conversation with Ms.Frizzle

Too-Smart-For-You : so hows coates?

Ms.Frizzle : We’re not there yet, but do you wanna hear a story

Too-Smart-For-You : sure, i guess

Ms.Frizzle : Okay imagine this, My friend who we’re gonna call Mary Jane is driving

Too-Smart-For-You : mary jane? Really

Ms.Frizzle : Yes, now shoosh, Im in the front with patrick inbewteen us

Too-Smart-For-You : who is he?

Ms.Frizzle : My doggo son i sent you a picture of him

Too-Smart-For-You : alright go on

Ms.Frizzle : In the bed of the truck is orc, quinn, howard and sinder and jezzie

Ms.Frizzle : I had to get orc, and when we got there sinder and jezzie had orc dressed up

Ms.Frizzle : In a SUit, and he was lookin good like??? It fit perfectly

Too-Smart-For-You : sam

Ms.Frizzle : AND HE WAS SO HAPPY

Ms.Frizzle : All of us including quinn were complientin him and shit and i swear to my grave he was blushing,, HOWA RD gave him a HUG.

Ms.Frizzle : My skin is clear, my crops flourish, my grades are in the 130%, the doggos are crying from joy

Too-Smart-For-You : I get it Sam.

Ms.Frizzle : DO you hate memes astrid

Too-Smart-For-You : yes

Ms.Frizzle : We cant be friends astrid

Too-Smart-For-You : who is tiredofyou? Shes like on your most conversations thing

Ms.Frizzle : oH you mean… give me a min to make a fake name

Too-Smart-For-You : of course

Ms.Frizzle : Celena,,, yes that’s it

Ms.Frizzle : Brb

Ms.Frizzle : Okay Im back

Ms.Frizzle : Do you know that your name means beautiful goddess

Ms.Frizzle : Quinn means wise queen hes dying

Too-Smart-For-You : why do i care sam

Ms.Frizzle : RUDE

Ms.Frizzle : My son’s name means noblemen im so proud.

Ms.Frizzle : hOward means pig g uard im dying

Too-Smart-For-You : Sam i asked you about tiredofyou

Ms.Frizzle : You want me to ask her out for you

Too-Smart-For-You : No, i want to talk to her,

Ms.Frizzle : K

tiredofeverythingTM

Ms.Frizzle : Diana you remember Too-Smart-For-You

tiredofyou : yeah why

Ms.Frizzle : She wants to be friends with you

Ms.Frizzle : AND your name means moon goddess,

Ms.Frizzle : Caines’ is hilaourous im dying

RoyaltyTM : what does it mean

Ms.Frizzle : Tall Person

RoyaltyTM : pls tell me your kidding

Ms.Frizzle : Not according to this website

RoyaltyTM : why were you searching what my name means

Ms.Frizzle : I had to think of a fake name i found this website

RoyaltyTM : how far are you out from coates

Ms.Frizzle : We’re like half way there\

RoyaltyTM : how’s quinn

Ms.Frizzle : His name means Wise Queen

tiredofyou : guess you found your queen finally napleon

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : guys he collasped and started praying everyone’s really scared

Ms.Frizzle : Where are you guys

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : in the middle of science

Ms.Frizzle : One thing on my bucket list

tiredofyou : what else is on there

Ms.Frizzle : try on a dress, swim in austrialia, win a fight, (making caine like one of my memes), convince a little kid that children fall from the sky and the ocean is babies that are waiting for their perfect mommy, and appear as a guest on a tv show

tiredofyou : why would you do that to a child, sam

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : what my name mean

Ms.Frizzle : SNAKE

RoyaltyTM : your name chose your destiny drake

tiredofyou : omg

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : DID I TELL YOU GUYS

RoyaltyTM : tell us what

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : me and sam r ging on a dat

tiredofyou : you are making me lose brain cells, drake

Ms.Frizzle : Its not a date

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : yeah it is caine i just had the best idea

RoyaltyTM : what

tiredofyou : im terrified

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : double date

RoyaltyTM : FUCK TO THE NO

tiredofyou : im crying that is the /best/

RoyaltyTM : dont encourage him diana

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : dad dont yell at mom

Ms.Frizzle : Wha the

tiredofyou : omg we never told you

RoyaltyTM : please dont tell sam he’ll tell quinn

ChainsansWhipsExciteMe : okay so i started this joke that caine and diana ar my parents since they worry over me so much

RoyaltyTM : we weren’t worried we thought you brought a gun to school

Ms.Frizzle : Does that mean that caine and quinn are my parents

tiredofyou : YES

Ms.Frizzle : I’ll tell quinn

Please_Don’t_Sam

SurferAndFisher-Boii : so we’re sam’s parents

Ms.Frizzle : I mean you brought a bag of snacks for me

SurferAndFisher-Boii : it’s for everyone and you werent complaining when i gave you some apple juice

RoyaltyTM : i couldnt stop them telling him

SurferAndFisher-Boii : change the group chat to sammys family

RoyaltyTM : NO

Ms.Frizzle : Please dad

RoyaltyTM : N OOOO OO

SurferAndFisher-Boii : does that mean im mom

Ms.Frizzle : I mean,,,,,, Papa or pops

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Papa

RoyaltyTM : Im NOT changing the name

Ms.Frizzle : Please

SurferAndFisher-Boii : pretty please ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

RoyaltyTM : How do you do that?

Ms.Frizzle : I’ll get quinn one of the overnight passes at coates

RoyaltyTM : you have one of those

SurferAndFisher-Boii : is that why you have your overnight bag

Ms.Frizzle : Yes to both

RoyaltyTM : …

RoyaltyTM changed chatname to Sammys-Family

SurferAndFisher-Boii : wait i dont have clothes

Ms.Frizzle : You and drake have similar sizes

SurferAndFisher-Boii : how do you know that

RoyaltyTM : Quinn use a lenny face

SurferAndFisher-Boii : good idea ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

SurferAndFisher-Boii : did sam tell you what my name means

RoyaltyTM changed chatname to Sammys-Royal-Family

Ms.Frizzle : YES

NeedsHelpTbh

Ms.Frizzle : Diana can you make a fake pass for quinn pls

tiredofyou : why

Ms.Frizzle : Made a deal with Caine

tiredofyou : aww, gotcha

tiredofyou : hows lana

Ms.Frizzle sent the image [look at her arms]

tiredofyou : is that patrick in the corner

Ms.Frizzle : YES

tiredofyou : youre bringing patrick

Ms.Frizzle : Coates allows pets right?

tiredofyou : no sam

Ms.Frizzle : We’ll sneak him in or have Caine sue them

tiredofyou : good plan

tiredofyou : fair warning stay away from Mr. Tach hes a perv

Ms.Frizzle : Alright, which teachers are watching us again

tirdeofyou : nurse rose, mr. tach, mr. g, and mrs. kelley

Ms.Frizzle : Auntie ROsie is gonna be there????

tiredofyou : auntie rosie?

Ms.Frizzle : She’s my godmom, and caine’s i think

tiredofyou : ahh, how come she doesnt custody of ya

Ms.Frizzle : whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t'st’ve'ten'y'all'st’d'n’t’ve’ll'on’t'vehe’d'whom'st’d’ve'dist’d'n’t'st’d’ve’ll’s’d’ve’re'n’t'y'all’ll'ven’t’t'whom'st’d'y'all’ve'nt’ll’ve'y'all'oughtn'tt'shan’t’ve'there'dn’t'vet'be'st'dn'mightn’t'ven’t

tiredofyou : what the fuck, Sam/

Ms.Frizzle : She has no dna or legal rights to me

tiredofyou : alright

Ms.Frizzle : Do you have a list

tiredofyou : a list of what

Ms.Frizzle : A list of people you’d fuck

tiredofyou : who doesn’t

Ms.Frizzle : I know right

Ms.Frizzle : whose on your list

tiredofyou : none of your business

Ms.Frizzle : we-re at Coates

tiredofyou started with a conversation with Too-Smart-For-You

tiredofyou : hey

tiredofyou : im sammys friend

tiredofyou : you okay

Too-Smart-For-You : srry watching my little brother

tiredofyou : oh cool how old

Too-Smart-For-You : 4 hes a little... energric

tiredofyou : wyd besides watching your brother

Too-Smart-For-You : watching tv you?

tiredofyou ; we got out of school cuz the government is going through the moofs, and sam’s still talking to the nurse’s and doctors

Too-Smart-For-You : how are the others

tiredofyou : SO quinn is flirting with caine, who is waiting for his turn and by flirting i mean quinn is sitting in Caine’s lap

Too-Smart-For-You : omg

tiredofyou : Drake (he is awful at typing and has a huge crush on sam) is waiting and wants to fight orc (sam playing peacemaker again)

tiredofyou : orc, sinder, jezzie, and howard are just chillin in the lunchroom (also where were waiting)

tiredofyou : lana and patrick are outside enjoying the breeze and sunshine

Too-Smart-For-You : how is brianna

tiredofyou : the runt trying to kill drake?

Too-Smart-For-You : ya

Too-Smart-For-You : wait no

tiredofyou : im not sam

Too-Smart-For-You : reflex okay?

tiredofyou : i get that happens to drake when he talks

Too-Smart-For-You : i want to see this happen

tiredofyou : anyway breeze chick is playing on her phone deathglaring drake

tiredofyou : the dekka chick is like swooning and gazing at brianna

tiredofyou : anyone else you know and ---shit

Too-Smart-For-You : what’s going on

Too-Smart-For-You : whats happening

HappyforLife

Too-Smart-For-You : quinn is everything alright

SurferAndFisher-Boii : holy shit

cantbevinced : whats going on

cantbevinced : is Lana okay????

SurferAndFisher-Boii : gtg has to make sure he doesnt die

cantbevinced : who gonna die

{A FEW HOURS LATER}

tiredofyou started a conversation with Too-Smart-For-You

tiredofyou : okay so dont interrupt just listen okay??

Too-Smart-For-You : alright

tiredofyou : so theres this real perv teacher and he was watching over the kids but

tiredofyou : he wasnt really there until later in the day and he started talking to sam

tiredofyou : sam started to look like he was going through a panic attack and he started to cry

tiredofyou : Drake runs up and like instantly puts himself between sam and the perv

tiredofyou : once drake realizes why sam is crying he goes ballistic almost snaps his whip arm at this asswipe

tiredofyou : like i would to but i dont have a tentacle arm, and drake almost kills this guy

tiredofyou : Caine holds him back with his mind power so Drake doesnt touch this guy so drake doesnt go to jail

tiredofyou : one of the cia or fbi dudes show up and steps inbetween sam and mr. perv

tiredofyou : he’s like ‘whats going on here’

tiredofyou : and sam looks like hes about to have a seizure

tiredofyou : and drake is trying to keep sam from dying and i speak up

tiredofyou : ‘mr. perv has been arrested numerous times for pedo-shit but he hasnt been convicted and sam and me have been abused personally but the dean wont do shit about it’

tiredofyou : fbi guy looks pissed and he instantly pulls out the cuffs, and im ready to name my child after him

tiredofyou : fbi guy pulls mr.perv out of the luchroom and drake takes sam up to my room, (me and sam are on the same therapy group, so we do little get-togethers) later once almost everyone is gone and cooks started dinner

tiredofyou : fbi guy comes back gives his card and says ‘anyone else is doing this shit call me’ and leaves like he was never even there

tiredofyou : anyway story over and you can speak

Too-Smart-For-You : are you okay, like, do you want some tea or smth?

tiredofyou : are you sheldon from the big bang

Too-Smart-For-You : is that how you met sam through memes.

tiredofyou : yes

Too-Smart-For-You : what are you doing now

tiredofyou : were watching moana even though curfew is out and boys arent allowed in the girls dorms

Too-Smart-For-You : whos we

tiredofyou : me, sam, mary jane, caine, drake, quinn and patrick

Too-Smart-For-You : is mary jane her real name or

tiredofyou : its fake but until i get her permission to talk to others about her situation i got Sam’s permission to talk about this,

tiredofyou : sam is singing along to We Know the Way its adorable???

Too-Smart-For-You : PROOF

tiredofyou sent a video [hear the sirens songs]

Too-Smart-For-You : omg

tiredofyou : i know right

Too-Smart-For-You : so hows the movie

tiredofyou : already seen it so i thought i updated things for you

Too-Smart-For-You : so whens the group coming back

tiredofyou : probably tomorrow noon why

Too-Smart-For-You : do you want met up i mean we live pretty close to each other so why not just meet

tiredofyou : sure and it just got to I am Moana

Too-Smart-For-You : thats sam’s favorite

tiredofyou sent the video [hear his voice]

Too-Smart-For-You : aww well i gtg bye

tiredofyou : bye

 

Chapter Text

Ms.Frizzle added SurferAndFisher-Boii, RoyaltyTM, onyourleftboii, and ChainsandWhipsExciteMe into a chat

Ms.Frizzle named the chat MEMESASSEMBLE

RoyaltyTM : NO

onyourleftboii : YES

Ms.Frizzle added boozeTM, $cammin, and Rich_Bitch to the chat

onyourleftboii : why them, like i get orc, but?

$cammin : excuse u

$cammin : like what did i do to deserve this

Ms.Frizzle : Did you not read the chat name

$cammin : why, why this

Ms.Frizzle : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Rich_Bitch : how do you do that

SurferAndFisher-Boii : dont you own this app?

Rich_Bitch : yeah but

$cammin : oh no baby what is you doing?

RoyaltyTM : HOW DO YOU TURN OFF NOTIFACTIONS

boozeTM : cash me outside howbow dat

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : cane is lit dying it amazin

onyourleftboii : what

Ms.Frizzle : *Caine is literally dying it is amazing

boozeTM : o

$cammin : orc you typed that perfectly how

boozeTM : ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Rich_Bitch : how did you do that

Ms.Frizzle : *x-files theme*

RoyaltyTM : this is my personal hell

Ms.Frizzle started a conversation with Rich_Bitch

Ms.Frizzle : So im just gonna say it

Ms.Frizzle : How did you get mcdonald’s

Rich_Bitch : Alright, so my dad got me a job working at BurgerKing

Ms.Frizzle : Okay

Rich_Bitch : the Manager like had a fancy rich white dude poker night and he let me tag along for some reason

Rich_Bitch : I win and I win McDonald’s so Im now the CEO of Mikey D’s

Ms.Frizzle : quick question

Ms.Frizzle : Can i run the twitter

Rich_Bitch : why the fuck not

Ms.Frizzle : YES!

<@MickeyD what do I get at Arby's>

<RUN JUST RUN>

<When did McDonald's get cool>

<Since they let the MemeMasterTM run this bumper car>

<OMG bumpercar>

<Is this Sam>

<@NewNapleon no this is Patrick>

<@MickeyD I'm coming and I'm coming for you>

<and I won't stop coming til I hit the ground running>

<He is actually screeching I hear him>

<@ATTLEII @NewNapleon is a cyptrid if you hear him run run to McDonald's You'll be safe I promise>

<IF YOU MAKE ME A MEME I WILL FIND YOU @MickeyD>

<@NewNapleon too bad>

<I'll send drake after you>

<DO IT>

MEMESASSEMBLE

Ms.Frizzle : Helps

boozeTM : what going on

RoyaltyTM : Sam i am goign to kill you

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : try it bitch

Rich_Bitch : what have i done

RoyaltyTM : YOU DID THIS

Rich_Bitch : i can explain

Rich_Bitch : he asked nicely

SurferAndFisher-Boii : what’s going on

Ms.Frizzle : I made Caine a meme

onyourleftboii : when wasn’t he meme

RoyaltyTM : excuse you

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : his yellow sweatervest

onyourleftboii : the one thing i agree with drake on

Ms.Frizzle : I mean on an international level

Ms.Frizzle : Did you know his twitter name is NewNapleon

$cammin : omg

Chapter Text

Ms.Frizzle added BRUISESANDBITEMARKS, Bleeding_Violets, i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now, Black_Roses, and goldengirl into a group chat.

Ms.Frizzle : Okay so listen real quick

Ms.Frizzle : The school wants me ‘the schoolbus hero’ to start a club for some bs reason

Ms.Frizzle : And i thought ‘well they want a club started by the ‘hero’ maybe a hero club that goes around and plants flowers, go to nursery homes,and other good deeds and I thought of you five? Let me count

Ms.Frizzle : Yeah it five

Bleeding_Violets : Invite *handclap emoji* Orc *handclap emoji*

Ms.Frizzle : Fuck that’s a good idea

Ms.Frizzle invited boozeTM into the groupchat

boozeTM : wht’s ging n?

Black_Roses : scroll up

boozeTM : SINDER!!!!!!

Bleeding_Violets : hey

boozeTM : JEZZIE!!!!!!

goldengirl : sam introduce everyone now

Ms.Frizzle : Well orc jezzie and sinder just did and everyone is capable of doing so but do you want to do a hero club bs w/me or not?

goldengirl : ugh, im taylor

goldengirl : who yes is actually gold from the radiation

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS :  im dahra and mary’s little shit of a brother choose that name cuz i got a hickey from mary once

i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now: im mary and darha gf

Ms.Frizzle : Best name ever but i still need to know are yall gonna join or nah?

goldengirl : sure why tf not

boozeTM : ye

Bleeding_Violets : sure

Black_Roses : k

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : SURE

i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : alright

Ms.Frizzle : Great now the chat name

goldengirl : SAM’S HAREM

Bleeding_Violets : lmao yes pls

Ms.Frizzle : Everyone cool with it?

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : yeah

i’ve_adopted_all_you_heathens_now : k

Black_Roses : do *HANDCLAPS EMOJI* it

boozeTM : kay m dtin smne bu k

Ms.Frizzle : Who are you dating

Ms.Frizzle changed the chat name to SAM’S HAREM

goldengirl : you understood that?

Bleeding_Violets : dont’ be mean to orc

boozeTM : Howrd

Ms.Frizzle : FUCKING CALLED IT

MEMESASSEMBLE

Ms.Frizzle : I have some tea to spill hun-ey

onyourleft,boii : spill it

RoyaltyTM : no don’t

Ms.Frizzle : Howard and orc are dating

$cammin : why did orc tell you

Ms.Frizzle : Cus i replaced you

$cammin : what

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : what

boozeTM : haha

boozeTM : dnt lie samy

Ms.Frizzle : Also Mary and Dahra is dating

Rich_Bitch : good for them

RoyaltyTM : I am going to reiterate

RoyaltyTM : HOW DO YOU TURN OFF NOTIFICATIONS

Ms.Frizzle : Rude

$cammin : ya caine are you homophobe

Ms.Frizzle : Nyall

RoyaltyTM : what no im pan i like boys

RoyaltyTM : i just would dont like be up AT THREE IN THE GODDAMN MORNING

Ms.Frizzle : Caine finally crursed lkdafjkld;jsfkljkdjf im dying

$cammin : since when did you like boys

RoyaltyTM : since i was born

onyourleft,boii : omg are you dating anyone?

Ms.Frizzle : Quinn was literaly sitting on his lap during the checkups

boozeTM : quin?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : thy bn datin 4 lik 6 moths

Rich_Bitch : 6 moths jfc learn to type

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : orc wrte wos thn me

onyourleft,boii : no he doesnt

Ms.Frizzle : *MORTAL COMBAT VOICE* fight!

RoyaltyTM : NO

RoyaltyTM : I am not in mood to deal with this

RoyaltyTM : ALBert how do you block people on this

Rich_Bitch : I don’t know tbt

Rich_Bitch : ask sam

RoyaltyTM : YOU OWN THE FUCKING APP

Ms.Frizzle : Haha

RoyaltyTM : I am telling your ‘papa’

Ms.Frizzle : shit no

onyourleft,boii : wtf

Sammys-Royal-Family

RoyaltyTM : Quinn

SurferAndFisher-Boii : yes?

RoyaltyTM : your fucking son is driving me up the goddamn wall

Ms.Frizzle : He’s lying!

SurferAndFisher-Boii : start at the beginning

RoyaltyTM : First he puts me a meme group chat with brianna and albert, and drake,a nd orc and howard

RoyaltyTM : then he calls me out on twitter and makes me a meme on there likek a little asshat

RoyaltyTM : and he wakes me up at fucking three to here about how kids who i dont; know or care about are dating

RoyaltyTM : then he starts afuking figt on the ficnking meme chat

SurferAndFisher-Boii : okay first caine calm down i can barely understand what you wrote

Ms.Frizzle : I didn’t understand any of that

Ms.Frizzle : That must means hes lying

SurferAndFisher-Boii : sam be quiet or youre grounded

Ms.Frizzle : Caine you know you can mute the chat right?

RoyaltyTM : WHAT

RoyaltyTM : HOW

Ms.Frizzle : Okay so in the chat in the top right corner theres a little star click it

SurferAndFisher-Boii : he means tap it

Ms.Frizzle : Did i fucking stutter

RoyaltyTM : dont’ be mean to your papa

RoyaltyTM : and i saw the mute button im crying

RoyaltyTM sent the image [so fucking happy]

SurferAndFisher-Boii : you actually are crying are you okay

RoyaltyTM : so much better gtg good night ily

SurferAndFisher-Boii : WAIt

Ms.Frizzle : Is he talking to me or you

SurferAndFisher-Boii : idk but its me than im pissed

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Caine look at your phone

Ms.Frizzle : Mute mode stops the phone from flashing on and junk

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ugh

NeedsHelpTbh

gunsandcigarettes : its literally been years since we’ve talked

tiredofyou : really literally

Ms.Frizzle : Guess what

tiredofyou : what

Ms.Frizzle : I showed caine the mute button

Ms.Frizzle : Then he said i love you to either me or quinn

tiredofyou : WHAT

tiredofyou : WHAT

Ms.Frizzle : He also cursed

Ms.Frizzle sent the image [lol the language he preaches about]

tiredofyou : AND I FUCKING MISSED IT

gunsandcigarettes : omfg this is amazing

gunsandcigarettes : btw diana when are you gonna go meet Astrid

tiredofyou : tomorrow after school why?

gunsandcigarettes : where

tiredofyou : the beach why

gunsandcigarettes : dont invite draek or caien

Ms.Frizzle : Draek and caien lol thats their new names now

tiredofyou : why

gunsandcigarettes : because the beach is where sam and quinn surf after school

gunsandcigarettes : shirtless

gunsandcigarettes : and you two are going to that smoothie place i work right?

tiredofyou : yeah

gunsandcigarettes : i dont want those two to get boners from the surfer bffs

Ms.Frizzle : Draek the snaek

tiredofyou : i feel like if drake knew about your memer side he wouldn’t like you anymore

Ms.Frizzle : Only one way to find out

tiredofeverythingTM

Ms.Frizzle : Do you know about the #bowwowchallenge

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : ofc

Ms.Frizzle : Fav meme go

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe sent the image [NUT]

Ms.Frizzle : The nut button hah classic

tiredofyou : sam mute button where

Ms.Frizzle : The star in the right corner

tiredofyou : thanks

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : do u lit knw evythng abot this app

Ms.Frizzle : Yup

Ms.Frizzle : Night

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : nite <3

Ms.Frizzle : NO

Sammys-Royal-Family

RoyaltyTM : i didnt even realize i typed that

RoyaltyTM : but like private conversation after school quinn?

SurferAndFisher-Boii : alright

HappyForLife

cantbevinced : alright so lets revamp whose dating who

Ms.Frizzle : Quinn and Caine are dating (honestly if i ever catch them kissing im gonna burn down coates)

PureTM : Roger and me are dating, and his art auction is tonight so I’m turning my phone off at 4:30 p.m.

Ms.Frizzle : Gotcha, you and lana are dating and working together at the smoothie place

cantbevinced : WE MET THERE HONESTLY BEST ROMANCE STORY EVER

Ms.Frizzle : Beats the fault in our stars

SurferAndFisher-Boii : and Twilight

Too-Smart-For-You : and Everything Everything

Ms.Frizzle : Haha Astrid out here throwing book shade

Too-Smart-For-You : Im the only one allowed to

Ms.Frizzle : Diana and Astrid;s dating

cantbevinced : writing that down

Too-Smart-For-You : we are not dating

Ms.Frizzle : No capitals means hiding bs

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Sam and drake

Ms.Frizzle : LIES AND SLANDER

PureTM : Calm down, Sam.

Ms.Frizzle : THey’re spreading lies about me

SurferAndFisher-Boii : i cant think of any one else

Ms.Frizzle : Orc and howard,,, mary and dahra

SurferAndFisher-Boii : honestly Mary and Dahra is the purest ship

Ms.Frizzle : Edilio and Roger

cantbevinced : lol tru

Ms.Frizzle : Edilio howd ya meet Roger

Ms.Frizzle : Yaint

SurferAndFisher-Boii : sam you said that

Ms.Frizzle : Did i fucking stutter

PureTM : I was doing community work at a park, and Roger was hired to do a mural.

PureTM : The park had picnics it was fun.

cantbevinced : adordable

Ms.Frizzle : Pics or it didnt happen

PureTM sent the image [Water Balloon Fight]

cantbevinced : adordable

PureTM : School is starting, go to class.

RoyaltyTM started a conversation with SurferAndFisher-Boii

RoyaltyTM : do you have time to talk

SurferAndFisher-Boii : yeah

RoyaltyTM : so are you mad that i said that or

SurferAndFisher-Boii : its the fact that its over phone

RoyaltyTM : we can pretend i didn’t send it i think i can delete my messages

SurferAndFisher-Boii : sam is the only one who knows how

SurferAndFisher-Boii : i once spent three hours searching online to see how to change my name

RoyaltyTM : ugh

SurferAndFisher-Boii : plus he takes like thirty screenshots so

RoyaltyTM : we can pretend that i deleted it

SurferAndFisher-Boii : it’s okay

RoyaltyTM : no its not youre upset

SurferAndFisher-Boii : It’s just that

SurferAndFisher-Boii : i didnt want the first time you said that on the phone

RoyaltyTM : aww that’s really sweet

RoyaltyTM : im sorry

SurferAndFisher-Boii : lets just pretend you never said that

RoyaltyTM : or I said it to sammy

SurferAndFisher-Boii : latter

RoyaltyTM : k

Ms.Frizzle added SurferAndFisher-Boii, RoyaltyTM, ChainsandWhipsExciteMe, and gunsandcigarettes into a group chat.

Ms.Frizzle : Everyone shut up

Ms.Frizzle changed the chat name to #LetTheShipSail

RoyaltyTM : samuel explain

Ms.Frizzle : First thats not my name

Ms.Frizzle : Second im spying on astrid and diana;s date

RoyaltyTM : SAm no

Ms.Frizzle : Quinn and lana youre helping me

Ms.Frizzle : you and draek are taking notes

gunsandcigarettes : add sanj

SurferAndFisher-Boii : why

gunsandcigarettes : cuz im not going to be the only single

Ms.Frizzle : Me and drake is single

gunsandcigarettes sent the image [sure,jan]

RoyaltyTM : just do it

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : yur not gona fgt it?

Ms.Frizzle : Okay mr. shia labeouf

Ms.Frizzle added cantbevinced into #LetTheShipSail

RoyaltyTM : listen if sam wanted to set the world on fire he’ll do it no matter i or anyone says

cantbevinced : whats going on

SurferAndFisher-Boii : scroll up

cantbevinced : what do i do

Ms.Frizzle : Are you working  today?

cantbevinced : no and why is no one getting on sam for his grammar

Ms.Frizzle : I have done nothing wrong

SurferAndFisher-Boii : i know this and i love you

RoyaltyTM : what

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : lol

cantbevinced : ‘me and drake is single’ Drake and I are single.

gunsandcigarettes : sanj you realize no one cares

cantbevinced : rued

Ms.Frizzle : Rued

SurferAndFisher-Boii : rued at 7:16 pm

RoyaltyTM : i rued the day i met you

Ms.Frizzle : Ayyyyyyyyyyy lmao

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ayyyyyyyyyy

cantbevinced : gdi

gunsandcigarettes : stop or i’ll bring discourse here

Ms.Frizzle : The Discourse

SurferAndFisher-Boii : The DiscourseTM

RoyaltyTM : i regert everything

Ms.Frizzle : Regert

RoyaltyTM : stop sam

Gunsandcigarettes : sam how many chats do you have

Ms.Frizzle : Back to the topic

SurferAndFisher-Boii : answer the fucking question

Ms.Frizzle : gdi

Ms.Frizzle : 9

RoyaltyTM : what the frick

Ms.Frizzle : Okay you cursed me out yesterday

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : what

Ms.Frizzle : #Letcainesayfuck2k17

RoyaltyTM : dont you dare bring that back

<#LetCaineSayFuck2k17>

RoyaltyTM : I’m disowning you

Ms.Frizzle : Are you following MickeyD

RoyaltyTM : only to know when your doing something stupid

cantbevinced : *you’re

gunsandcigarettes : back to the topic

cantbevinced : ya what im doing

Ms.Frizzle : Yalldve

cantbevinced : dammit

Ms.Frizzle : Notetaking for you sanj

cantbevinced : k

Ms.Frizzle : Okay they just got here

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Astrid is wearing her nice cargo pants

Ms.Frizzle : Are they cargo pants

SurferAndFisher-Boii : i think i dont know fashion

Ms.Frizzle : Neither does Caine

gunsandcigarettes : hello 911 i would like to report a fucking murder

RoyaltyTM : excuse you

cantbevinced : Notes; 1) Sam is savage af

gunsandcigarettes : Diana is wearing her red top with the lacy straps

RoyaltyTM : that means she wants to sit outside

RoyaltyTM : to tan

Ms.Frizzle : write that down sanj

cantbevinced : 2) Diana has nice fashion taste

cantbevinced : 3) diana wants to burned alive by the sun

Ms.Frizzle : The sun is a deadly lazer

Ms.Frizzle : Alright cookie has them in his section shit

gunsandcigarettes : i can asked to trade him

Ms.Frizzle : Pls

RoyaltyTM : how come you never say pls to me

Ms.Frizzle : because i can bribe you

RoyaltyTM : got me there

SurferAndFisher-Boii : they’re laughing at something on astrid’s phone

Ms.Frizzle : i sent her one of those medival memes

Ms.Frizzle : ‘runeth up bitch thou doesntth want these hands.’

cantbevinced : 4) sam has great meme taste suited for different people

cantbevinced : 5) astriana has the same sense of humor

Ms.Frizzle : 10/1 great ship name

SurferAndFisher-Boii : dont you mean 10/10

Ms.Frizzle : Did i fucking stutter

RoyaltyTM : how is diana’s posture

Ms.Frizzle : Astrid can def see her boobs

RoyaltyTM : SAMUEL

SurferAndFisher-Boii : youre grounded

gunsandcigarettes : Diana is leaning forward and her head is on her hand

Ms.Frizzle : It’s more like her chin is on her hand

Ms.Frizzle : The nonpalm part of her hand

RoyaltyTM : yeah Diana wants to date Astrid

cantbevinced : 6) Astrid is not gonna be a virgin tomorrow

Ms.Frizzle : Hah

SurferAndFisher-Boii : you acutally laughed out loud

Ms.Frizzle : It’s funny

gunsandcigarettes : so Cookie wouldnt trade with me but he told me they ordered a strawberry-mint smoothie and a mango-bannana smoothie

RoyaltyTM : Diana’s allegirc to strawberries

Ms.Frizzle : sanj notes

cantbevinced : 7) they ordered captialism

cantbevicned : 8) no chocolate covered strawberries

Ms.Frizzle : good or evil virus of satan?

SurferAndFisher-Boii : quote of the century

RoyaltyTM : stop

gunsandcigarettes : okay Cookie gave em the smoothies in to-go cups shit theyre leaving

SurferAndFisher-Boii : we cant follow em

Ms.Frizzle : not all of us

gunsandcigarettes : sam get your butt back here

Ms.Frizzle : #LetLanaSayAss2k17

Ms.Frizzle : MUTE MODE

Ms.Frizzle : Have fun smelling my poop bitches

RoyaltyTM : what

cantbevinced : 9) sam likes grown men playing with barbies

Ms.Frizzle added tiredofyou and Too-Smart-For-You into a group chat

Ms.Frizzle named the chat #Pranked

tiredofyou : no

Ms.Frizzle : Ugh

Ms.Frizzle changed the chat name to Most_Popular_Girls_in_School

Too-Smart-For-You : okay

Ms.Frizzle sent the images [receipt 1], [receipt 2], [receipt 3], [receipt 4], and [receipt 5]

tiredofyou : great job spy

Ms.Frizzle : Im not a spy

tiredofyou : well do you know what they call people who spy

tiredofyou : spies

Ms.Frizzle : Woo bars but im not a

Too-Smart-For-You : please stop

Ms.Frizzle : The vines over now

Ms.Frizzle : Astriana

tiredofyou : no

Ms.Frizzle : Too late

Too-Smart-For-You : okay but i call deandra

Ms.Frizzle : I CALL TRISHA

tiredofyou : i call brittney mathews

Too-Smart-For-You : whose Mackenzie zales

Ms.Frizzle : Caine

tiredofyou : yes

 

Chapter Text

AmazingMoofs

Ms.Frizzle : Okay so me caine and quinn is watching ~The Batman~ and we got into a dabate

onyourleft,boii: pls tell me its batman vs superman debate

onyourleft,boii : because i have like a conspiracy theory about that

Ms.Frizzle : No but we can talk about that privately

gravityorboysdontaffectme : which batman series

Ms.Frizzle : ~The Batman~ 2007 i think

gravityorboysdontaffectme : k continue

onyourleft,boii : i love the art direction in that one

gravityorboysdontaffectme : i love catwoman

Ms.Frizzle : Same but id think i date bruce or dick

Ms.Frizzle : We’re still on season one and alfred is so sassy and good pure

boozeTM : hve u seen damian wayne fav

onyourleft,boii : whose damian wayne

boozeTM : bruces only blod son

boozeTM : he was trind to be a assanin and kilt peple at 3 yers old

boozeTM : he also died

gravityorboysdontaffectme : like Jason Todd

Ms.Frizzle : First we dont talk about either of my sons deaths

Ms.Frizzle : Secondly have you seen supersons? I love jon

onyourleft,boii : whose jon and whats supersons

Ms.Frizzle : DC released a comic of superman son, Jon, and Damian fighting together like the good pure boys they are

gravityorboysdontaffectme : can we get back to the debate sam

Ms.Frizzle : Alright who is your fav batman villian

gravityorboysdontaffectme : thats not a debate

onyourleft,boii : penguin, he somehow reminds me of jack

Ms.Frizzle : H elp

boozeTM : clayface his bakstry so sad

Ms.Frizzle : TRU i love my clayface son

gravityorboysdontaffectme : poison ivy, i would marry her if she wasnt already married to harley

Ms.Frizzle : I want harley to go back to school and live her life as a shrink she deserves peace in the world

onyourleft,boii : tru

onyourleft,boii : whose your fav sam

Ms.Frizzle : First none can judge me but god himself

gravityorboysdontaffectme : o  kay

Ms.Frizzle : Secondly its a three way tie

Ms.Frizzle : Thirdly no one can judge me

onyourleft,boii : tell me now

Ms.Frizzle : Okay Babydoll, she just so hhhhhhhn

gravityorboysdontaffectme : explain

Ms.Frizzle : Her medical condition doesnt allow her to pyshically age so she looks like a six year old girl

Ms.Frizzle : She couldnt become an actoress like she wanted because no one took her seriously

Ms.Frizzle : Villians, too, and her boyfriend couldnt respect her like the consenting adult she is

Ms.Frizzle : Secondly is mr. freeze, beacuse the ~The Batman~ version of him is hot

gravityorboysdontaffectme : s AM

Ms.Frizzle : And once on his wedding anniversary it wasnt going to snow and since his dead wife loved the snow he broke out of Arkham Asylum  to make it snow for her

Ms.Frizzle : His wedding anniversary is on chirstmas eve btw

onyourleft,boii : thats so sad omg i love him and his sweet heart

onyourleft,boii : no one deserves him

Ms.Frizzle : Lastly my sweet sweet

Ms.Frizzle : …..

onyourleft,boii : SAM NO SUSPENSE I WILL FITE YOU

Ms.Frizzle : Manbat

onyourleft,boii : thats not a real villian

onyourleft,boii : holy shit it is what???????

onyourleft,boii : hes so scary omg why sam

Ms.Frizzle : I was kidding but Caine loves him

Ms.Frizzle : I love Two-Face hes so cute

onyourleft,boii : first why does caine like him

onyourleft,boii : second two-face aint cute

Ms.Frizzle : Fite me right now brianna

Ms.Frizzle : I’d willingly marry Harvey Dent

Ms.Frizzle : He was a lawyer who had suppressed mental disorders, i think one was bipolar disorder

Ms.Frizzle : He was working alongside batman, and jim gordon to rid gothams streets of mob bosses

Ms.Frizzle : And one of the mob bosses hired another lawyer to throw acid on harvey

Ms.Frizzle : Which brought out his mental disorders, and disfigured him

Ms.Frizzle : He became obsessed with ideals of right vs wrong

Ms.Frizzle : He never makes a decision without consulting his two-sided coin which also got disfigured from the acid

Ms.Frizzle : His mental disorders had killed Harvey Dent and only Two-Face survives now

Ms.Frizzle : So

Ms.Frizzle : I WILL FIGHT AND DESTROY ANYONE WHO BACKMOUTHS MY HARVEY DENT SON

onyourleft,boii : sam check your email

Ms.Frizzle : SCREAMS NO WHY WHYW HWYWHYW HWYW WHDSLKJDKLSSHFSSD:JLKLSDJLK:SDJKLLJS

gravityorboysdontaffectme : sam chill

tiredofeverythingTM

Ms.Frizzle: mY BATMAN WOULD NEVER

RoyaltyTM : sam get off your phone

tiredofyou : what are you talking about

RoyaltyTM : we’re watching ~The Batman~ from 2007 and Batman just took away a mental ill man’s puppet that he thinks is real and says its therapy

tiredofyou : #notmybatman

tiredofyou : also did ya all hear that next week from friday is another checkup

Ms.Frizzle : Yall

Ms.Frizzle : Ughhhhhhhhhhhhh

Ms.Frizzle : Diana whose your favorite batman villian

tiredofyou : tell me yours

Ms.Frizzle : mines a tie between Babydoll, Mr. Freeze, and Two-Face

tiredofyou : nice

tiredofyou : probs Harley shes so sweet and tragic

RoyaltyTM : tru mines ManBat

tiredofyou : pls tell me caines kidding

Ms.Frizzle : joker is so ugly in this version but i still think it fits

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : joker is my favorite

tiredofyou : that doesnt suprise me at all

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : he dosent have any tragic backstory that excuses him which is the best

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : not everyvillian needs a tragic backstory

Ms.Frizzle : or hero

RoyaltyTM : whose the better hero batman vs superman

Ms.Frizzle : BATMAN

tiredofyou : batman

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : batman

RoyaltyTM : batman thank you all for agreeing

Ms.Frizzle : Quinn agrees too so great

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : sam make a seprate chat with quinn already

Ms.Frizzle : K

RoyaltyTM : Sam no

Ms.Frizzle added SurferAndFisher-Boii, RoyaltyTM, tiredofyou, and ChainsandWhipsExciteMe into a groupchat.

Ms.Frizzle changed the name to LetUsBeTumblr

tiredofyou : add astrid

Ms.Frizzle added Too-Smart-For-You into the chat.

Too-Smart-For-You : what exactly are we gonna be tumblr about

Ms.Frizzle : Fav batman villian

Too-Smart-For-You : i really like the killer croc idk why i just do

SurferAndFisher-Boii : bane

Ms.Frizzle : Would you leave caine for bane

SurferAndFisher-Boii : yes

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : it rhymes

RoyaltyTM : batman vs superman

SurferAndFisher-Boii : batman

Too-Smart-For-You : superman

Ms.Frizzle : Blocked

Too-Smart-For-You : relax will you

tiredofyou : im leaving you astrid

Ms.Frizzle changed the chatname to The DiscourseTM

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Sam yes

RoyaltyTM : sam no

RoyaltyTM : how did you know i was gonnna say that

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : you always say that to anything sam does

SurferAndFisher-Boii : and i always respond with sam yes

Ms.Frizzle : Caines pouting

tiredofyou : send pictures

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : SEND PICTURES

Too-Smart-For-You : no dont

Ms.Frizzle sent the image [quinn trying to cheer him up]

tiredofyou : adorable

tiredofyou : sam ill fistfight you for the spot of best man at their wedding

Ms.Frizzle : Then i get maid of honor

tiredofyou : yes

RoyaltyTM : Stop talking like we’re getting married tomorrow

SurferAndFisher-Boii : its next week

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : cn i be the one drunk guy who gets kicked out

tiredofyou : yes

RoyaltyTM : please

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : rude

SurferAndFisher-Boii : rood

Ms.Frizzle : rdla

Ms.Frizzle : Caine fucking sat on me

RoyaltyTM : i saw you typing it sam i wasnt taking any chance

Ms.Frizzle : GET OFF OF ME YOU MOLDY POPTART

tiredofyou : moldy poptart im ??????

tiredofyou : im telling lana

NeedsHelpTbh

tiredofyou : sam called caine a moldypoptart

Ms.Frizzle : Diana youre such a filthy homestuck

tiredofyou : hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

gunsandcigarettes : sam what is wrong with you

Ms.Frizzle : the police found my dad and he hasn’t responded to the calls the police left so im anxious

tiredofyou : Caine didnt tell me that stale piece of bread

Ms.Frizzle : caine is such an egg

gunsandcigarettes : sanjit is dying guys please stop

Ms.Frizzle : Sanj is the next egg

gunsandcigarettes : elp me

gunsandcigarettes : diana help

tiredofyou : whens our next meeting gonna be

gunsandcigarettes : tomorrow at sams for doing this to me

Ms.Frizzle : K

Ms.Frizzle : Batman vs superman lana go

gunsandcigarettes : both me and sanj say bats

tiredofyou : good

Ms.Frizzle : fav batman villian go

gunsandcigarettes : catwoman and sanj’s jason todd

Ms.Frizzle : meet me in the pit mf

HappyforLife

Ms.Frizzle : meet me in the pit sanj

Ms.Frizzle : now

Too-Smart-For-You : sam whats the matter

SurferAndFisher-Boii : your face is so red dude are you okay

Ms.Frizzle: meet me in the pit MEET ME IN THE PIT

PureTM : What’s going on?

cantbevinced : i did nothing wrong

Ms.Frizzle : jason todd is not a villian fite me now

Too-Smart-For-You : really wow

Too-Smart-For-You : quinn take away sams phone pls

SurferAndFisher-Boii : fight me sanj

Too-Smart-For-You : gdi

PureTM : Please explain to me.

SurferAndFisher-Boii : we’re watching batman and we started talking about villians and sanj is wrong bye

cantbevinced : how can i be wrong if you google batman villians list he pops up

Ms.Frizzle : hes too good for that

InnocentExceptQuinn

Ms.Frizzle : batman vs superman go

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : batman obvs

PureTM : The Batman.

SurferAndFisher-Boii : fav batman villian

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : crazy quilt

Ms.Frizzle : Hnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn

PureTM : Clayface.

Chapter Text

TheDiscourseTM

Ms.Frizzle : So, there’s gonna be a pride assembly at school and i cant wait for the school to fuck up

tiredofyou : text me as things are going down please

RoyaltyTM : why are they having an assembly

SurferAndFisher-Boii : there’s a new kid coming thats openly gay and they think there’s not already out kids at school,, me and Edilio are thinking about wearing pride shirts

SurferAndFisher-Boii : mine says ‘Bi Bi Bi Boy’

tiredofyou : do it

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Edilio’s says ‘Secret Gaygent’

tiredofyou : i like that one, i have have one that sam got me that says ‘bi and hella kawaii’

Ms.Frizzle : I got caine one that says ‘my anaconda loves all kind of buns’ with pink, blue, yellow

RoyaltyTM : i didnt’ want a shirt

SurferAndFisher-Boii : too bad

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : do i get a tshirt

tiredofyou : wow thats legible howd that happen

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : sam showed me the talk to text feature

RoyaltyTM : the what

Ms.Frizzle : you speak in the mircophone in the phone and it transfers it to text

tiredofyou : how come youre the only one who knows everything about this app

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : do i get a shirt

Ms.Frizzle : I gave it to you yesterday

Ms.Frizzle : ‘let me be perfectly queer’

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : oh yeah

tiredofyou : 100003948588/10 sam thats great do you have a shirt

Ms.Frizzle : I have several

RoyaltyTM : how do you afford that

Ms.Frizzle : A few weeks ago your mom came over and was ‘shooked’ by how i lived so she gave a credit card

Ms.Frizzle : she said something like ‘my son’s brother shouldn’t live in these conditions but he can’t move in with us because he wasnt raised to be rich’ but nicer

RoyaltyTM : WHAT

Ms.Frizzle : relax thats not the first they were rude to me

RoyaltyTM : WHAT DO YOU MEAN

Ms.Frizzle : your dad thinks that i’ll like corrupt you or smthn and your mom thinks im a project it so fun to know that you corrupted me

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Sam how is your self esteem

Ms.Frizzle : i’m fine???? Why’d ya ask

SurferAndFisher-Boii : beacuse if i don’t straight up ask ya you would deny it and play idiot

tiredofyou : true

Ms.Frizzle : Diana does that too

tiredofyou : dont be throwing shade i will drag you down

Ms.Frizzle : i have crap on all of my contacts

tiredofyou : prove it

Ms.Frizzle : Diana steals drakes beef jerky

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : thats been you i thought it was the speed bitch

Ms.Frizzle : Caines been taking diana’s shampoo

tiredofyou : caine wtf

RoyaltyTM : yours it nicer than mine

Ms.Frizzle : Drake has been stealing caines phone and sending fake business emails with pictures with the old cat memes

RoyaltyTM : DRAKE YOU FUCKER

RoyaltyTM : i thought i been hacked like several times or quinn was doing it

SurferAndFisher-Boii : whyd do you think itd be me

RoyaltyTM : like you took my phone on our dates and sent random emails to random contacts

tiredofyou : sam isnt a virgin

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : WHAT

Ms.Frizzle : a handjob isn’t sex diana

RoyaltyTM : who replaced my innocent brother

Ms.Frizzle : im not innocent

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Who did you give a handjob to?

Too-Smart-For-You : and how does diana know?

Ms.Frizzle : lol im not telling

RoyaltyTM : i forgot you were in this chat

tiredofyou : dont be rued to my girlfriend

SurferAndFisher-Boii : rued

tiredofyou : no

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : ARE WE JSUT GOING TO FUCKING GLOSS OVER THE FACT THAT SAM GAVE SOMEONE A HANDJOB

Ms.Frizzle : Drake chill i wasnt forced

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : BUT YOU ARENT DATING ANYONE WHICH MEANS THEY BROKE UP WITH YOU

Ms.Frizzle : It was mutual and we were dating before, and he didn’t use me for sex relax

Too-Smart-For-You : I was the only person you dated though???

Ms.Frizzle : you’re the only girl ive dated i had a bf before you

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : WHO DID YOU GIVE A HANDJOB TOO

Ms.Frizzle : Drake fucking chillax hes not that bad and im not telling any of you because yall tell drake and he’ll kill him

SurferAndFisher-Boii : not even me? o(╥﹏╥)o

Ms.Frizzle : you already know quinn I brought him to your fourth of july

SurferAndFisher-Boii : OH OH OH SHIT

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : WHO IS QUINN I WILL FIGHT YOU

RoyaltyTM : Don’t even try it, merwin.

SurferAndFisher-Boii : iM SCREAMING

SurferAndFisher-Boii : you never introduced him as your bf, tho?

Ms.Frizzle : we were still dating

SurferAndFisher-Boii : IS THAT WHY HES SO NICE TO YOU?

Ms.Frizzle : yeah, im his favorite (づ。◕‿‿◕。)づ

Too-Smart-For-You : Who is it?

Ms.Frizzle : he gave you the shovel talk when we started dating astrid

Too-Smart-For-You : YOU GAVE ORC A HANDJOB????????????????

Ms.Frizzle : lol yeah it was at howards back to school party in a closet

RoyaltyTM : I can hear drake screaming from down the hall help

tiredofyou : people are running really fast like it the apolcayse

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Does Howard know?????

Ms.Frizzle : Does Caine know about your first bf?

SurferAndFisher-Boii : DO NOT

RoyaltyTM : Wait no tell me sam

Ms.Frizzle : then i tell quinn something you did

tiredofyou : drake broke his phone on the wall hes literally about to implode

Ms.Frizzle : tell drake to chill or i’ll block him

MEMESASSEMBLE

RoyaltyTM : Sam gave orc a handjob

$cammin : WHAT

boozeTM : it was at your back-to-school party when we were 15

Ms.Frizzle : Caine has a two year old daughter

Rich_Bitch : WHAT THE HELL

RoyaltyTM : HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT THAT

Ms.Frizzle : Diana told me, duh

RoyaltyTM : ofc she would

$cammin : lets get back to the handjob thing

Ms.Frizzle : we dated that summer when school started back up we broke up and that as far as it ever got

boozeTM : yeah

$cammin : anyone else dating someone else i need to know about?

$cammin : AL?

Rich_Bitch : Im ace, so no, thx for the shirt btw sam

Ms.Frizzle : np

$cammin : what shirt?

Rich_Bitch : the assembly the schools having for the new kid cux they think no one at school already out, a bunch of us are wearing pride shirts that sam got us

Ms.Frizzle : I gave orc yours,

boozeTM : i like ours

ouyourleft,boii: youre tying faster than normal orc, everything alright?

boozeTM : sam showed me the talk-to-text feature

Rich_Bitch : the what

RoyaltyTM : how many times do we have to go over this

RoyaltyTM : you own the fucking app

Rich_Bitch : and?

RoyaltyTM : im done with you

$cammin: anyway what do our shirts say cuz ive calmed down from the shock of my life

boozeTM: your says lets get one thing straight im not

$cammin: nice

boozeTM: mine says no one told me life was gonna be this gay and sad

onyourleft,boii: me

onyourleft,boii: but bi

Rich_Bitch: youre literally twelve take a nap

onyourleft,boii: sam already got me my shirt

onyourleft,boii: ‘my sexuality is gay rocks from space’

Ms.Frizzle: dekks was ‘gamer girl, gay mer girl’

Rich_Bitch: how come i have to deal with you people

Rich_Bitch: i dont deserve this

RoyaltyTM: that the biggest lie ive ever been told

Rich_Bitch: really its not ‘i love you’

onyourleft,boii: fucking savage

Ms.Frizzle: albert im the only one allowed to drag caine everyone knows this

RoyaltyTM: quinn did it once and apologized to sam

Rich_Bitch: but he deserves it

onyourleft,boii: and its so easy

Ms.Frizzle: I can ruin your lives just test me

Rich_Bitch: ya cant do anything

Ms.Frizzle: yalldvent

Rich_Bitch; firstly

Ms.Frizzle: Albert steals all of howards doritos, and he leaves toothpaste instead

Ms.Frizzle: he had a emo phase in his last school, i got debra to send me pictures,

Ms.Frizzle: Albert started to cry when the school announced the were going to start selling chicken nuggets

Ms.Frizzle: Albert wrote on his secert twitter post the he ‘unironically fuck ronald mcdonald only if wendy was in the room watching’

Rich_Bitch: stop now

RoyaltyTM: i cnat fucking breathe

Rich_Bitch: please im beggin you stop

Ms.Frizzle: i can drag someone else if you want

onyourleft,boii: please

Ms.Frizzle: brianna has a secert fanfiction dedicated to brendon urie

onyourleft,boii: NO SAM STOP

Ms.Frizzle: she also has an entire tumblr for discourse on tumblr

Ms.Frizzle: Brianna is in love with the oogie boogie man from the nightmare before christmas

Rich_Bitch: wtf bri

onyourleft,boii: i dont have to explain myself to you

Ms.Frizzle: she set a fire to the park and blamed it on a rooster and everyone fucking believe her

onyourleft,boii: how do you know about it

Ms.Frizzle: Bri’s first kiss was a kid a park named orsay

onyourleft,boii: do someone else

Ms.Frizzle: howard has a onceler blog

$cammin: drag me all you fucking like i dont care anymore

Ms.Frizzle: howard does drugs

Ms.Frizzle: he got stoned at the movie theater and told me that it was 100% percent that way

Ms.Frizzle: it was fifty shades of gray

RoyaltyTM: no no no

Ms.Frizzle: Howard dated quinn for two days then edilio for an hour

RoyaltyTM: BACK THE FUCK UP

$cammin: lol we were five

RoyaltyTM: (┛◉Д◉)┛彡┻━┻

Ms.Frizzle: lol

Chapter Text

MEMESASSEMBLE

Rich_Bitch: Mr. Caine Soren in the press conference rag

Rich_Bitch: Notice how his mouth never moves

Rich_Bitch: Almost

onyourleft,boii: Where’d you come from?

Ms.Frizzle: Mississippi

gravityorboysdontaffectme: And your parents?

Ms.Frizzle: Very wealthy.

$cammin: Where are they now?

Ms.Frizzle: Six feet under.

RoyaltyTM: But he was granted one more start

Ms.Frizzle: The convent of The Sacred Heart!

onyourleft,boii: When'd you get here?

Ms.Frizzle: 1920

boozeTM: How old were you?

Ms.Frizzle: Don't remember

$cammin: Then what happened?

Ms.Frizzle: I met Quinn

Ms.Frizzle: And he stole my heart away

Ms.Frizzle: Convinced me to elope one day

Rich_Bitch: Oh you poor dear I can't believe what you have been through A convent girl! A run-away marriage!

Rich_Bitch: Now tell us Sammie…

Rich_Bitch: Who's Howard Bassem?

Ms.Frizzle: My ex-boyfriend.

boozeTM: Why'd you shoot him?

Ms.Frizzle: I was leavin'.

gravityorboysdontaffectme: Was he angry?

Ms.Frizzle: Like a madman

Ms.Frizzle: Still I said, "Howard, move along."

RoyaltyTM: He knew that he was doing wrong.

$cammin: Then describe it.

Ms.Frizzle: He came toward me.

onyourleft,boii: With the pistol?

Ms.Frizzle: From my bureau.

boozeTM: Did you fight him?

Ms.Frizzle: Like a tiger.

RoyaltyTM: He had strength and he had none.

Ms.Frizzle: And yet we both reached for the gun

Ms.Frizzle: Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes we both

Ms.Frizzle: Oh yes we both

Ms.Frizzle: Oh yes, we both reached for

Ms.Frizzle: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

Ms.Frizzle: Oh yes, we both reached for the gun

Ms.Frizzle: For the gun.

boozeTM: Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes they both

onyourleft,boii: Oh yes, they both

gravityorboysdontaffectme: Oh yes, they both reached for

$cammin: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun,

boozeTM: Oh yes, they both reached for the gun

Rich_Bitch: for the gun.

RoyaltyTM: Understandable, understandable

RoyaltyTM: Yes it's perfectly understandable

RoyaltyTM: Comprehensible, Comprehensible

RoyaltyTM: Not a bit reprehensible

RoyaltyTM: It's so defensible

onyourleft,boii: How're you feeling?

Ms.Frizzle: Very frightened

gravityorboysdontaffectme: Are you sorry?

Ms.Frizzle: Are you kidding?

$cammin: What's your statement?

Ms.Frizzle: All I'd say is

Ms.Frizzle: Though my choo-choo jumped the track

Ms.Frizzle: I'd give my life to bring him back

boozeTM: And?

Ms.Frizzle: Stay away from…

onyourleft,boii: What?

Ms.Frizzle: Jazz and liquor…

boozeTM: And?

Ms.Frizzle: And the men who...

$cammin: What?

Ms.Frizzle: Play for fun…

gravityorboysdontaffectme: And what?

Ms.Frizzle: That's the thought that…

onyourleft,boii: Yeah

Ms.Frizzle: Came upon me…

boozeTM: When?

Ms.Frizzle: When we both reached for the gun!

Rich_Bitch: Understandable, understandable

Rich_Bitch: Yes, it's perfectly understandable

Rich_Bitch: Comprehensible, comprehensible

Rich_Bitch: Not a bit reprehensible

Rich_Bitch: It's so defensible!

$cammin: Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

gravityorboysdontaffectme: Oh yes, they both

boozeTM: Oh yes, they both reached for

RoyaltyTM: Let me hear it!

boozeTM: The gun, the gun, the gun,

onyourleft,boii: The gun

$cammin: Oh yes, they both reached

gravityorboysdontaffectme: For the gun

RoyaltyTM: A little louder!

Rich_Bitch: For the Gun.

boozeTM: Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

$cammin: Oh yes, they both

gravityorboysdontaffectme: Oh yes, they both reached

onyourleft,boii: For the gun, the gun,

RoyaltyTM: Now you got it!

gravityorboysdontaffectme: The gun, the gun

boozeTM: Oh yes. They both reached

onyourleft,boii: For the gun

$cammin: For the gun.

boozeTM: Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

gravityorboysdontaffectme: Oh yes, they both

Rich_Bitch: Oh yes, they both reached for

gravityorboysdontaffetme: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

$cammin: Oh yes, they both reached for the gun

onyourleft,boii: For the gun.

boozeTM: Oh yes, oh yes, oh yes, they both

boozeTM: Oh yes, they both

onyourleft,boii: Oh yes, reached for

gravityorboysdontaffetme: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

$cammin: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

$cammin: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

RoyaltyTM: Both reached for the...gun

$cammin: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

boozeTM: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

onyourleft,boii: The gun, the gun, the gun, the gun

gravityorboysdontaffectme: The gun, the gun,

RoyaltyTM: Both reached for the gun.

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: i fuckinf hate this

Ms.Frizzle: do one with us its so fun

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: fuck no

Ms.Frizzle: pls

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: i dont know any songs

RoyaltyTM: hah what you were playing yesterday

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: no im pretty sure no one else knows it

RoyaltyTM: trust me

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: After the war I went back to New York

Ms.Frizzle: !!!!!!

RoyaltyTM: A-After the war I went back to New York

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: I finished up my studies and I practiced law

RoyaltyTM: I practiced law, Merwin worked next door

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Even though we started at the very same time Caine Soren began to climb,

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: How to account for his rise to the top? Man, the man is

Rich_Bitch: Non-stop

RoyaltyTM: Gentlemen of the jury, I’m curious, bear with me, Are you aware that we’re making hist’ry? This is the first murder trial of our brand-new nation

RoyaltyTM: The liberty behind deliberation

onyourleft,boii: (Non-stop)

RoyaltyTM: I intend to prove beyond a shadow of a doubt with my assistant counsel

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Co-counsel. Soren, sit down

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Our client Levi Weeks is innocent; call your first witness

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: That’s all you had to say

RoyaltyTM: Okay

RoyaltyTM: One more thing

$cammin: Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?

onyourleft,boii: Why do you assume you’re the smartest in the room?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Soon that attitude may be your doom (aww)

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Why do you write like you’re running out of time? Write day and night like you’re running out of time?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Ev’ry day you fight, like you’re running out of time

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Keep on fighting in the meantime

boozeTM: Non-stop

RoyaltyTM: Corruption’s such an old song that we can sing along in harmony and nowhere is it stronger than in Albany

RoyaltyTM: This colony’s economy’s increasingly stalling and honestly, that’s why public service seems to be calling me

boozeTM: (he’s just non-stop)

RoyaltyTM: I practiced the law, I practic’ly perfected it. I’ve seen injustice in the world and I’ve corrected it

RoyaltyTM: Now for a strong central democracy. If not, then I’ll be Socrates throwing verbal rocks at these mediocrities (aww)

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Soren, at the constitutional convention

RoyaltyTM: I was chosen for the constitutional convention

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: There as a New York junior delegate

RoyaltyTM: Now what I’m going to say may sound indelicate (aww)

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Goes and proposes his own form of government

onyoureleft,boii: (what?)

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: His own plan for a new form of government

Rich_Bitch: (what?)

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Talks for six hours the convention is listless

boozeTM: Bright young man

$cammin: Yo, who the f is this?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Why do you always say what you believe? Why do you always say what you believe?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Ev’ry proclamation guarantees free ammunition for your enemies

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Why do you write like it’s going out of style?

onyourleft,boii: Write day and night like it’s going out of style?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Ev’ry day you fight like it’s going out of style

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Do what you do

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Caine?

RoyaltyTM: Drake Merwin, sir

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: It’s the middle of the night

RoyaltyTM: Can we confer, sir?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Is this a legal matter?

RoyaltyTM: Yes, and it’s important to me

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: What do you need?

RoyaltyTM: Merwin, you’re a better lawyer than me

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Okay

RoyaltyTM: I know I talk too much, I’m abrasive; you’re incredible in court, you’re succinct, persuasive

RoyaltyTM: My client needs a strong defense you’re the solution

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Who’s your client?

RoyaltyTM: The new U.S. Constitution?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: No

RoyaltyTM: Hear me out

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: No way

RoyaltyTM: A series of essays, anonymously published defending the document to the public

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: No one will read it

RoyaltyTM: I disagree

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: And if it fails?

RoyaltyTM: Merwin, that’s why we need it

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: The constitution’s a mess

RoyaltyTM: So it needs amendments

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: It’s full of contradictions

RoyaltyTM: So is independence; we have to start somewhere

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: No

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: No way

RoyaltyTM: You’re making a mistake

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Good night

RoyaltyTM: Hey, What are you waiting for? What do you stall for?

onyourleft,boii: (what?)

RoyaltyTM: We won the war; What was it all for? Do you support this constitution?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Of course

RoyaltyTM: Then defend it

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: And what if you’re backing the wrong horse?

RoyaltyTM: Merwin, we studied and we fought and we killed for the notion of a nation we now get to build

RoyaltyTM: For once in your life, take a stand with pride; I don’t understand how you stand to the side

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: I’ll keep all my plans close to my chest

$cammin: (wait for it, wait for it, wait)

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: I’ll wait here and see which way the wind will blow

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: I’m taking my time watching the afterbirth of a nation watching the tension grow

gravityorboysdontaffectme: I am sailing off to London; I’m accompanied by someone who always pays

gravityorboysdontaffectme: I have found a wealthy husband who will keep me in comfort for all my days

gravityorboysdontaffectme: He is not a lot of fun, but there’s no one who can match you for turn of phrase, My Caine

RoyaltyTM: Dekka

gravityorboysdontaffectme: Don’t forget to write

Ms.Frizzle: Look at where you are; look at where you started

Ms.Frizzle: The fact that you’re alive is a miracle just stay alive, that would be enough

Ms.Frizzle: And if your wife could share a fraction of your time

Ms.Frizzle: If I could grant you peace of mind; would that be enough?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Caine joins forces with Albert Hillsborough and Howard Bassem to write a series of essays defending the new United States constitution entitled The Federalist papers

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: The plan was to write a total of twenty-five essays the work divided evenly among the three men

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: In the end, they wrote eighty-five essays, in the span of six months

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Howard Bassem got sick after writing five; Albert Hillsborough wrote twenty-nine; Soren wrote the other fifty-one

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: How do you write like you’re running out of time?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Write day and night like you’re running out of time?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Ev’ry day you fight like you’re running out of time like you’re running out of time

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: Are you running out of time?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: How do you write like tomorrow won’t arrive? How do you write like you need it to survive?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: How do you write ev’ry second you’re alive? Ev’ry second you’re alive? Ev’ry second you’re alive?

Rich_Bitch: They are asking me to lead; I am doing the best I can

Rich_Bitch: To get the people that I need; I’m asking you to be my right hand man

RoyaltyTM: Treasury or State?

Rich_Bitch: I know it’s a lot to ask

RoyaltyTM: Treasury or State?

Rich_Bitch: To leave behind the world you know

RoyaltyTM: Sir, do you want me to run the Treasury or State department?

Rich_Bitch: Treasury

RoyaltyTM: Let’s go

Ms.Frizzle: Caine

RoyaltyTM: I have to leave

Ms.Frizzle: Caine

RoyaltyTM: Look around, look around at how lucky we are to be alive right now

Ms.Frizzle: Helpless

RoyaltyTM: They are asking me to lead

Ms.Frizzle: Look around, isn’t this enough?

gravityorboysdontaffectme: He will never be satisfied, he will never be satisfied; Satisfied, satisfied

gravityorboysdontaffectme: He will never be satisfied; Satisfied, satisfied

Rich_Bitch: History has its eyes on you

RoyaltyTM: I am not throwin’ away my shot; I am not throwin’ away my shot

RoyaltyTM: I am Caine Soren

RoyaltyTM: I am not throwin’ away my shot

$cammin: this is so fucking weird

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe: yeah why is sam eliza

Ms.Frizzle: Because i love her

onyourleft,boii: he also privatly meassaged us and said he release more dirt on us with he didnt get to be Eliza

RoyaltyTM: whats wrong with you

Ms.Frizzle: ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Ms.Frizzle added all contacts into a groupchat

Ms.Frizzle named the chat TheNoogetyClusterFuck

RoyaltyTM: SAM NO

Ms.Frizzle: SAM YES

Chapter Text

TheNoogetyClusterFuck

Too-Smart-For-You : will someone please explain

tiredofyou : well sam? Caine? Sam? SAM?

Ms.Frizzle : Well theres not much to explain

RoyaltyTM : its four in the morning, you added all your contacts in one chat, and oh yeah

RoyaltyTM : YOU CAME BY COATES AND KIDNAP ME AND DIANA

Ms.Frizzle : First off, it wasnt kidnapping,

Ms.Frizzle :Second, we have one more person to pick up

Too-Smart-For-You : so wait if you two are together why not talk out loud

tiredofyou : because lanas not in the mood to deal with us

goldengirl : same

tiredofyou : no offense but who the fuck are you?

RoyaltyTM : see sam this is why this wont work

Ms.Frizzle : Just everyone introduce yourselves to each other

goldengirl : taylor

tiredofyou : diana

Too-Smart-For-You : how many people are in this chat

Ms.Frizzle : … 23 people

SurferAndFisher-Boii : gdi Sam how many chats

Ms.Frizzle : 12, not a big deal tho

SurferAndFisher-Boii : SAM

SurferAndFisher-Boii : tell me that isnt you guys driving towards my house

RoyaltyTM : it was sam idea to bring you along I said we should let you work

SurferAndFisher-Boii : where are we going

tiredofyou : hm? Sam

Ms.Frizzle : Rembrr the city that was having the pride festival a few months ago?

SurferAndFisher-Boii : yeah, all the way up there?

Ms.Frizzle : Yeah thats where mine and Caines dad live

RoyaltyTM : Sam brought his two friends and i brought you kinda,

Ms.Frizzle : I gonna get Gaia too

tiredofyou : how do you know of gaia

RoyaltyTM : so you didn’t tell him??? How tf do you know

Ms.Frizzle : lol

SurferAndFisher-Boii : whos gaia

Rich_Bitch : my guess is caine and dianas kid

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ok so im talk to caine outloud and in privaty bye

goldengirl : name?

Rich_Bitch : Albert

Too-Smart-For-You : Astrid

goldengirl : im making a fucking list honestly what the fuck sam

LittleDevil : who are these people?

Ms.Frizzle : My friends

Ms.Frizzle : Don't repeat anything they say please

LittleDevil : fuck

Ms.Frizzle : Fuck

goldengirl : whats your name

LittleDevil : gaia

Rich_Bitch : what/

tiredofyou : you added my daughter to this chat

LittleDevil : hi mommy!

Rich_Bitch : who do you thin is gonna kill Sam first diana or Caine

LittleDevil : me

goldengirl : same

$cammin : I love her @caine can I adopt her

LittleDevil : try it and I'll set you on fire

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Sam where are we going you're staring at your phone really hard

Ms.Frizzle : Gaia wanna come with us

RoyaltyTM : Sam I will throw your phone out the window

Ms.Frizzle : Why not just kick me out the chat

Rich_Bitch : how do you do that

RoyaltyTM : why don't I just throw you out the car

Ms.Frizzle : Im ready

SurferAndFisher-Boii : noooooo

goldengirl : I need y'alls names

RoyaltyTM : Caine Soren

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Quinn

Ms.Frizzle : Everyone knows who I am

poolboy : I'm duck

tiredofyou : wtf Sam

i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : im mary

goldengirl : i know that god youre name is so long

RoyaltyTM : commas are important

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : dahra

poolboy : @mary can you take me school today

i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : sure

goldengirl : i feel like there are a lot of mini crews here

SurferAndFisher-Boii : okay but whos the orginal squad

SurferAndFisher-Boii : i think its me, sam, astrid, and edilio

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : i think its me, diana, and caine (maybe sam)

gunsandcigarettes : no its me, sam, and diana

Too-Smart-For-You : please say your name

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : drake

gunsandcigarettes : lana

cantbevinced : shouldnt you be driving

gunsandcigarettes : we are at stoplight

cantbevinced : LANA

cantbevinced : im sanjit btw

PureTM : Guys, guess what.

SurferAndFisher-Boii : yes edilio

PureTM : The new kid whos assembly is tomorrow is Roger!!!

Ms.Frizzle : The first time edilio made a spelling mistake and extra puntaction im so porud

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : yup im here right now

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better sent the image [ive arrived]

Too-Smart-For-You : is that Edilio in the bg

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : yup!!! Im roger btw

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : im kinda upset ya didnt stay for me

Ms.Frizzle : Y'all've'd

$cammin : im howard

boozeTM : orc

DontTrustMe : why am i in this chat meant for lessers

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : why is the whore in this chat

DontTrustMe : screw you merwin

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : ya know caine aint here so i get to beat your ass now

Ms.Frizzle : YALL

Ms.Frizzle : Need to chill seriously

Ms.Frizzle : Either knock it off or ill stay here in the city

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : noooooo

DontTrustMe : why am i here

Rich_Bitch : I ask myself that everyday

$cammin : why was i put on this earth

boozeTM : what is my purpose in life

Ms.Frizzle : Noo stop them

Ms.Frizzle : @bri bring memes

onyourleft,boii : this bitch empty

gravityorboysdontaffectme : YEET

onyourleft,boii : brianna

gravityorboysdontaffectme : dekka

Bleeding_Violet : I'm jezzie

DontTrustMe : penny

RoyaltyTM : why do you have penny's info

Ms.Frizzle : Why and not

Black_Roses : I'm tsundere

Black_Roses : wtf *****Sinder

Ms.Frizzle : Aaaaand that's every one

goldengirl : u sure

Ms.Frizzle : Yeet

Ms.Frizzle : @gaia if you're not gonna eat your chicken nuggets give em to me

Rich_Bitch : are y'all at Mickey ds

SurferAndFisher-Boii : have been for a while

tiredofyou : Sam got us a discount for running the twitter

Ms.Frizzle : And for giving out your contact info

Rich_Bitch : gdi

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : wait why did you give out his contact info

Rich_Bitch : cuz I'm the CEO of mickeys d

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : well shit I'm in a group chat with a millionaire

goldengirl : he's actually a billionaire

DontTrustMe : hi there

Rich_Bitch : I'm aroace

DontTrustMe : wtf is that

Ms.Frizzle : Guys don't curse around Gaia please

DontTrustMe : or what

Ms.Frizzle : Brb gotta mess around with the settings

gunsandcigarettes : and I'm scared now

cantbevinced : yeah we're john Egbert

cantbevinced : that's not what I wrote???????

$cammin : omg Dave strider

poolboy : bad and naughty words get turn into homestuck characters

gunsandcigarettes : I can't breathe

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : KARKAT VANTAS

tiredofyou : this is The Best thing you've ever done Sam ilysm

Ms.Frizzle : thnx

tiredofyou : I take it back

Ms.Frizzle : rued

SurferAndFisher-Boii : rued

PureTM : rued

Ms.Frizzle : did Roger just stral edilios phone

PureTM : awwww no one fell for it :(

Ms.Frizzle : Rogers too pure

poolboy : let's play a game

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : what game

poolboy : never have I but everyone has 10 points and the things are bad

Ms.Frizzle : yee

poolboy : okay I'll start never have I suck dick

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : 10

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : 10

Ms.Frizzle : 10

Too-Smart-For-You : i feel like sams lying 10

Ms.Frizzle : No I'm not

SurferAndFisher-Boii : 9

Ms.Frizzle : Gamzee makara

$cammin : if you done it twice does that take two points

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : Penny would be out the game then

DontTrustMe : @ me next time

poolboy : no

$cammin : 10

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : 9

DontTrustMe : 9

tiredofyou : 10

Ms.Frizzle : shit brb

tiredofyou : gdi what did you do

RoyaltyTM : I've accepted the fact that sam is 1000% going to get arrested

poolboy : so they gone now

poolboy : well shit what r we gonna do

DontTrustMe : is anyone from Coates here??

DontTrustMe : expect drake

gravityorboysdontaffectme : I go I'm in your science class

onyourleft,boii : i go!!!

DontTrustMe : i don’t bielebe you

gravityorboysdontaffectme : !!!L:FJLK:AJKLFKJL

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : bielebe

onyourleft,boii : bielebe

poolboy : bielebe

LittleDevil : Bielebe

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : bieleb

poolboy : Mary just fucked up a fuck up

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : no she didn't

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : oh u’re talking about the speeling error

poolboy : speeling

PureTM : Not to interrupt, but school is going to start soon and I don't think any of you are allowed to be on your phones during the lessons.

Too-Smart-For-You : am I the only scared as to why Sam and the others hadn't talked yet

cantbevinced : lana

cantbevinced : lanaaaa

cantbevinced : lanaaaaaaaaa

gunsandcigarettes : sanj stop it

gunsandcigarettes : I'm already pissed

goldengirl : what did Sam do

Ms.Frizzle : lol

RoyaltyTM : it's not funny SAMURAI

RoyaltyTM : the nepeta leijon

Ms.Frizzle : was is autocorrect?

Too-Smart-For-You : what did you do Sam

Ms.Frizzle : Nothing mom

SurferAndFisher-Boii : what I thought me and Caine was your dad

Ms.Frizzle : then Astrid can be my??? idk cousin??

Too-Smart-For-You : I don't want to apart of this family

Ms.Frizzle : rued

SurferAndFisher-Boii : rued

RoyaltyTM : sighs

RoyaltyTM : rued

tiredofyou : aww Caine did it

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : let's keep it going

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : rued

tiredofyou : rued

gunsandcigarettes : rued

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Astrid ur not allowed to do it

Too-Smart-For-You : why would I want to

boozeTM : rued

Rich_Bitch : rued

onyourleft,boii : rued

gravityorboysdontaffectme : rued

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : Rued

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : rued

goldengirl : rued

poolboy : rued

LittleDevil : rued

Ms.Frizzle: ayyy I got Gaia to do it

$cammin : rued

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : rued

cantbevinced : rued

Black_Roses : rued

Bleeding_Violets : rued

DontTrustMe : rued

Too-Smart-For-You : so what did Sam do tho

Ms.Frizzle : haha it's actually CAINES fault

RoyaltyTM : how is it my fault you punched a dude?

Ms.Frizzle : you wouldn't punch him for me or Quinn

cantbevinced : why did you want him to be punched

Ms.Frizzle : so the dude on cashier is clearly having some kinda anxiety attack

Ms.Frizzle: he's shaking and stuttering and whimpering

Ms.Frizzle : he's crying so hard that he gets a nose bleed and he can't type on the order thing

Ms.Frizzle : I went back up to order some more food and the dude in front of me goes, “hurry it up retard,”

Too-Smart-For-You : who wants to help me bury the body

tiredofyou : mood

Ms.Frizzle : and the guy pipes up, ‘sorry my bf just broke up with me-”

Ms.Frizzle : the asswipe goes “ugh fags’ and I raise my hand to yknow

poolboy : punch him?

Ms.Frizzle : Caine grabs my arm, and tries to get the attention of the dude

SurferandFisher-Boii : Caines doing that stupid ‘humph, hmph, hmph,’ noise bs

RoyaltyTM : the guy turns around and his face is redder than ketchup

Ms.Frizzle : shush im telling the story

Ms.Frizzle : caine says ‘maybe you shouldn’t say that loud enough for anyone human being with basic decency to hear.’

Ms.Frizzle : the idiot goes, ‘did you just call me humus?”

poolboy : he did not

tiredofyou : he fuckin did and i almost started crying

Ms.Frizzle : I say ‘no he called you homo’

Ms.Frizzle : the guy tries to grab my collar and i duck

poolboy : yes?

Ms.Frizzle : as much as i love that joke not now rubberduckie

poolboy : *do not*

Ms.Frizzle : i back up a few steps and this guy says ‘i aint a fag’

Ms.Frizzle : i scream ‘WELl i am BiATCH’

Ms.Frizzle : the dude freezes and with no hesalkafn i punch him

Ms.Frizzle : all of us are like ‘o shit man look what you did’

Ms.Frizzle : so i grab one of the bags on the counter and run to lanas car

Ms.Frizzle : and me and gaia are currently sharing some chicken nuggets

poolboy : chicken nugs :>

Ms.Frizzle : duckie nigs

$cammin : do not

boozeTM : the tchr kps glring at ou

PureTM : Howard just flipped Mrs. Resz off.

boozeTM : hoWD NI

DontTrustMe : howd

ChainsAndWhipsExciteMe : not col pny

DontTrustMe : Tavros Nitram you drake

ChainsAndWhipsExciteMe : fite me joe

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : friggin’ joe, always being dumb

$cammin : OWO I'm sowwy Mws. Rwesz

boozeTM : wy

Ms.Frizzle : howard wrtie that in the meme chat no context just taht

MEMESASSEMBLE

$cammin : OWO I’m sowwy Mws. Rwesz

$cammin : SHE JUSTA LOKS AT MY PJONE

Rich_Bitch : SHE JUST TOOK HIS PHONE AND IS SCROLLING TJROUGH OUR SHT NO

Ms.Frizzle : BINCH

MS.Frizzle : spam the chat spam it

onyourleft,boii : A;lkdhlf

onyourleft,boii : Alfdkh sflka dsf

onyourleft,boii : Sd;fsdfs

onyourleft,boii : Dfh dslhsf

onyourleft,boii : Sdf sdf

onyourleft,boii : Sdf sd sdf

onyourleft,boii : F dslf s

onyourleft,boii : F sdf

onyourleft,boii : Ds dsf

onyourleft,boii : Sd fsd

onyourleft,boii :  Fsdf

onyourleft,boii : F sd ds

onyourleft,boii : F dsf d

onyourleft,boii : Sf sd

onyourleft,boii : F sdf

onyourleft,boii :  Dsf sdf

onyourleft,boii : Ds

onyourleft,boii : Fsd

onyourleft,boii : Fsd

onyourleft,boii : Fs

onyourleft,boii : Df

onyourleft,boii : Dsfa

onyourleft,boii : Fd

onyourleft,boii : Sf

onyourleft,boii : Dsf sdf sd

onyourleft,boii : F d

onyourleft,boii : Fdf df

onyourleft,boii : Ds fdsfsd

onyourleft,boii : F s

onyourleft,boii : F

Rich_Bitch : Okay she stopped.

Rich_Bitch : Howard just let out a sound equivalent to a audible keyboard smash.

Ms.Frizzle : Okay but big mood

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

poolboy : that went awful i take it?

poolboy : howard looks like he’s crying

DonTrustMe : 1-800-did-iask

poolboy : i asctually clicked on the line and its a regrection line kll me please

Ms.Frizzle : sucking dick for free

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : DIRK STRider please tell thats not what your doing

Ms.Frizzle : i hiding in the back of lana’s truck

RoyaltyTM : sam you made us come out here not get out

cantbevinced : you guys are already there?

RoyaltyTM : yea we’re outside our dad’s apartment and sam wont get his jade harley out

Ms.Frizzle : im scared okay???? Like oh no ;a

gunsandcigarettes : shit

Too-Smart-For-You : whats the matter

tiredofyou : private chat later

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : ????? TELL ME

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Later okay??

Ms.Frizzle : okay i’m

Ms.Frizzle : better now

Ms.Frizzle : i run everything by yall later

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : ??? wait tell meeeeeeeeeee

Ms.Frizzle : okay later drake

poolboy : howard just called to stay after class al;kjfdlk;jdf

boozeTM : she wnt to knw wh bri is

TheDiscourseTM

SurferAndFisher-Boii : okay so me, lana and diana are waiting in the hallway while, sam caine, and gaia are to sam/caine’s dad and gaia’s granddad

SurferAndFisher-Boii : and Diana’s phone died to ill tell yall happened

SurferAndFisher-Boii : so sam started getting his daily panic attack and so caine got in the back of the truck with sam was hugging/holding sam whispering stuff i couldnt hear to calm down

SurferAndFisher-Boii : sam calmed down pretty quickly and caine is trying to not use his powers to destroy shit

SurferAndFisher-Boii : and some dude just ran in here and he froze at diana she just said ‘yooo it the gvnmt dude from the check-up’ and shes right

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ‘so what are yo udoing here’

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ‘oh yknow my roomate just discovered he’s a dad to twins so’

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ‘and a grandpa to a two-year old daughter/

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ‘oh you know them”

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ‘well he’s dating the younger one, im the mom of the granddaughter, and the bff of the older one.’

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ‘oh well, let’s go get dinner, then,’

SurferAndFisher-Boii : ‘can i charge my phone in your car?’

SurferAndFisher-Boii : so me and diana are currently in Darius’ car?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : who the fuck is daruous

SurferAndFisher-Boii : Sam/caine’s dad’s roommate, and i think he’s some type of security guard for one of the scientist studying yall

Too-Smart-For-You : is it Dr. Miller?

SurferAndFisher-Boii : nah it’s dr. smith?

SurferAndFisher-Boii : dont know who that is

Too-Smart-For-You : hes a radiologist specialist

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : fucking explain it better

Too-Smart-For-You : he studies radiation

tiredofyou : Taegan Smith?

Too-Smart-For-You : yes?

tiredofyou : that’s sam/caine dad

Too-Smart-For-You : man thy’ve met each other before wow

SurferAndFisher-Boii : al;kdljf that was the dude who took caine’s blood

Too-Smart-For-You : wow that’s that’s really something huh

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : hows sammy now?

SurferAndFisher-Boii : he sent me a text telling me to get him his favorite from wendy’s so i guess were getting wendy’s

<tfw you have to get wendy’s cause youre banned from the closest Mickey-D’s [image: allaroundmearefamiliarfaceswornoutplaces] >

<@MickeyD how did you get banned from your own restaurant?>

<Guy was begin homophobic so i punched him, and ran>

<YOUR MY HERO>

SurferAndFisher-Boii : my phones about to die so ttyl

Too-Smart-For-You : bye

TheNoogetyClusterFuck

Ms.Frizzle : so im back

Ms.Frizzle : it went pretty well i guess

Ms.Frizzle : he decided to watch over gaia for caine (whose phone broke) and his roommate unofficialy adopted diana

Ms.Frizzle : he’s gonna download this app so we can keep in contact and junk

Ms.Frizzle : Quinn, and Diana are both asleep, Caine is trying not to fall asleep and it almost 11 pm so all of yall are asleep probably

Ms.Frizzle : time to piss everyone off

Ms.Frizzle changed name to Glow-Stick

Glow-Stick : heyyo its ya boi remix style

 

Chapter Text

TheNoogetyClusterFuck

GlowStick added The-Better-Steven-Universe into the chat.

GlowStick : this is hunter!!!! He’s justed transferred into my history class

GlowStick : so be nice ̿̿’̿’\̵͇̿̿\=(•̪●)=/̵͇̿̿/’̿̿ ̿ ̿ ̿

GlowStick : i wont hestaite

SurferAndFisher-Boii : im still mad you wont tell me how to change my name

GlowStick : just tell me and ill do it for you

SurferAndFisher-Boii : no???? I Tell me how to do it

goldengirl : @The-Better-Steven-Universe answers some questions fro the chart

The-Better-Steven-Universe : the chart?

goldengirl : there is a total of 25 peope in here i need a chart okay?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : sam you never said thered be this much people what if i do something stupid

DontTrustMe : like that?

GlowStick : ⊂•⊃_⊂•⊃ im watching you penny

DontTrustMe : jladjk stop with the faces

goldengirl : the questions

The-Better-Steven-Universe : oh right go ahead

goldengirl : batman v. superman

The-Better-Steven-Universe : Batman? Why does that matter

goldengirl : because sam already has the info on his phone, i just had to steal his phone to get the info

goldengirl : now, fav batman villian?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : Penguin, i like his aesthetic

goldengirl : sexuality

The-Better-Steven-Universe : alkjfdslkj, what

goldengirl : what’s your sexuality?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : why does that matter?

goldengirl : sam get us sexuality shirts, join us join us

The-Better-Steven-Universe : omg, bi

goldengirl : pineapple on pizza?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : best fucking topping ever

gunsandcigarettes : ew

poolboy : why is your name that?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : because i have a pet lion and im not trash so?

poolboy : WHAT

poolboy : how do you have a pet lion?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : well, it’s a mountian lion, and its actually a lioness

gunsandcigarettes : that bitch tried to eat me once,

The-Better-Steven-Universe : you probably telling the truth

The-Better-Steven-Universe : she just likes me for my microwave hands

poolboy : what

GlowStick : right hunter developed powers later, just like rubberduckie

poolboy : if it were not for the laws of this land, i would have slaughtered you

AmazingMoofs

GlowStick added poolboy, and The-Better-Steven-Universe into the chat.

GlowStick : this is the chat for powered people who dont suck dick for free

onyourleft,boii : then why am i here

GlowStick : beacuse youre 12 and you dont suck for free

GlowStick : you suck for food

TheNoogetyClusterFuck

The-Better-Steven-Universe : so is anyone in this chat straight?

goldengirl : here’s the link to the chart

goldengirl : w.gdisamisickofthisbullshit.com

The-Better-Steven-Universe : wow so thats alot im crying

GlowStick : tay get ready im gonna make another chat w/everyone but also with my dad and his roommate

goldengirl : NOOOOO

GlowStick added all contacts into a new chat.

GlowStick named the chat HowToAdult

GlowStick : Ayyyyyyyyyo

army_brat : omg there’s 27 people in here and i cant do this

RadioStar : thats what she said

army_brat : ahd;lskhf TAEGAN NO

army_brat : there’s children here

GlowStick : the youngest in Gaia, and after that there;s a 12 and everyone besides you two is 15-16

goldengirl : sam i just got the chart looking nice >.<

GlowStick : noice

goldengirl : you two need to answer some questions for the chart

army_brat : ask away

goldengirl : batman v. superman, fav bm villian, pineapple on pizza

army_brat : batman, killer croc, its good

RadioStar : batman, deadshot, im good w or w/o

GlowStick : tay you know what we should do

goldengirl : what samuel

GlowStick : first, my full name is not that™, second belly button peircings

RoyaltyTM : NO

goldengirl : matching ones

GlowStick : yes

RoyaltyTM : NO SAMURAI

RoyaltyTM : GDI SAM WHY DOES MY PHONE DO THAT

GlowStick : why should i know?

SurferAndFisher-Boii changed name to ActualMerman.

ActualMerman : beacuse you know everything about the app

ActualMerman : and changed my name to what i asked.

GlowStick : i couldnt resist

ActualMerman changed name to Pineapples.

RadioStar : is that all your changing your name to

Pineapples : yes

army_brat : why

goldengirl : you know what they say about pineapples

Pineapples : ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

army_brat : taegan im terrified what are the children saying

RoyaltyTM : omg stop it cause of your stupid tshirt

Pineapples : one my shirt isn’t stupid, second no it’s cause of pysch

Pineapples : and yknow what they say about pineapples

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : anything’s a dildo if your brave enough

RadioStar : NOT IN MY HOLY CATHOLIC HOME

GlowStick : DAD chilll drake isnt serious

tiredofyou : aren’t ya atheist

Glowstick : y'all'd've'f'ld've

RoyaltyTM : yes no one has religion in my family

army_brat : you all would have i would have? What are talking about sam

RoyaltyTM : finally someone from the south to translate and negaitote with sam

GlowStick : i came out to have a good time and honestly im feeling so attacked right now?

TheNoogetyClusterFuck

GlowStick : who want to hear me talk about me getting sent to dentention

gunsandcigarettes : what did you do sam

GlowStick : so im walking in the hall minding my business when i over hear some toothpick say

GlowStick : ‘i cant believe we had sit through that boring ass lecture about the gay boy, no one gives a shit about him,’

PureTM : who is it

GlowStick : idk just some future highschool dropout

GlowStick : so i say ‘the gay boy actually isn’t the only queer kid at school, please be careful’

GlowStick : ‘why you gonna fite me?’

GlowStick : ‘no but my ex might, yknow orc the fucking wall of gay’

GlowStick : so he started going on and on about how all the moofs were getting better grades and like other shit? Cause bri won the writing contest so he thought she won because she has powers and ugghhhhh

GlowStick : then the bitch goes ‘oh, and lets not talk about how only the black moofs are getting the good powers.’

GlowStick : so i broke his nose, and im kinda being watched by the police?

gravityorboysdontaffectme : youre doing amazing sweetie

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : i cant believe that people like that still exist

The-Better-Steven-Universe : i can

The-Better-Steven-Universe : there was this one dude who was ragging on moofs/not-white kids, and i was like ‘dude calm down just finish your homework then we can watch the game; but then i got my powers and ive seen him try to beat kid cause of their powers so i just switched before he figured out

poolboy : okay, so hunter? That sucks, so do you wanna like? Hang out with me and my firends friday we’re going bowling

GlowStick : hunter im sorry that this bitch punk ass had something to say like that

gravityorboysdontaffectme : not to sound mean, but it sounds like you really didn’t try to stop him that hard

The-Better-Steven-Universe : i.. really didn’t i shouldve tried harder but im definetly gonna try and stop him if i see him do it

The-Better-Steven-Universe : @poolboy whose your friends,

poolboy : mary terrafino, and dahra baidoo, (the gay girl couple suggling outside everyday during 5th lunch)

The-Better-Steven-Universe : oh i remember them, theyre really nice, mary gave me a cookie once

tiredofyou : you overshare when your nervous don’t you?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : is it that obvious?

GlowStick : no hunter your doing amazing

goldengirl : sam when are we going to the hospital?

GlowStick : things discussed in one chat stay in the chat

goldengirl : ughhhh

SAM’S HAREM

goldengirl : when are we going to the hospital

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : next week

GlowStick : everyone remember their jobs?

Bleeding_Violets : no

GlowStick : sinder, jezzie is in charge of seniors/people in wheelchairs

GlowStick : mary and dahra is in charge of decocrating for the play/skit and watching the little kids

GlowStick : me and orc is in charge of prepping food for everyone and talking to staff about what else we can do

GlowStick : and tay is in charge of watching the kids visiting from another school

goldengirl : ughhhh why

GlowStick : because they might mess with patients and theyre really young like 12 or 11

GlowStick added RoyaltyTM, RadioStar, army_brat, LittleDevil, and tiredofyou into a groupchat.

GlowStick changed the chat to ~TheFam~

RoyaltyTM : why don't i question anything any more

GlowStick : because im your brother

RadioStar : the fam?

tiredofyou : short for family, slang

army_brat : I'm still confused, why're me and Diana in this chat?

GlowStick : well, Gaia told me she caught you two kissing so?

RadioStar : of course

GlowStick : and I'm ninety percent sure Darius wants to adopt diana

tiredofyou : please

tiredofyou : you should invite our bf/gf here

GlowStick added Pineapples, and Too-Smart-For-You into the chat.

army_brat : im still confused about his name

Pineapples : well

Pineapples : id bug caine about it

RoyaltyTM : nOOOOOOOOOOOOO

Too-Smart-For-You : okay but

Too-Smart-For-You : are you two actually dating??

RadioStar : yes sam’s been showing me sexualtiys and junks

RadioStar : i am pan

tiredofyou : i knew it was genetic

Too-Smart-For-You : okay but what is sams full name

GlowStick : he doesn’t know

RadioStar : i think its just sam???? I mean that was waht the police letter said

GlowStick : yeha no it not

tiredofyou : we have bets on what it is mine is samuel

Pineapples : mine is samurai

RoyaltyTM : im crying no

GlowStick : why brother (◕︵◕)

GlowStick : brb

NeedsHelpTbh

GlowStick : have we decided the next date?

gunsandcigarettes : no we haven’t

tiredofyou : sam why is caine red and shaking

GlowStick : how am i supposed to know

TheNoogetyClusterFuck

RoyaltyTM : sam stop sending me songs to the moshi monster website im sick of it

GlowStick : mr snoodle do the doodle

goldengirl : lakdflksjf hwy did i have a crucsh on you?

GlowStick : i honestly do not know

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : what

GlowStick : [ link ]

GlowStick : tag yourself im blingo the fox

GlowStick : Caine is zack binspin

RoyaltyTM : stop slandering my good name

Pineapples : what good name?

goldengirl : see i liked you then you had to open your mouth and ruin evrything

GlowStick : um,,,,, were getting mathing belly button preicings? Everything is perfect

Too-Smart-For-You : veggietales, i wish i had a belly button

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : dont remind me of that astrid

The-Better-Steven-Universe : okay but back to moshi monsters

The-Better-Steven-Universe : [ link ]

The-Better-Steven-Universe : im the diamond necklace singing

poolboy : omg im dj quack

Pineapples : [ link ]

Pineapples : im the guy narrating

Rich_Bitch : im big bad bill

Too-Smart-For-Smart : im pooky

goldengirl : im dr strangeglove

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : [ link ]

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : im iggy

tiredofyou : that sounds exactly like gaia

$cammin : the lone girl or the group of girls

RoyaltyTM : yes

boozeTM : sam can you change my name

boozeTM changed name to ROCKDADDY

$cammin : omg no,

ROCKDADDY : pls change it

ROCKDADDY changed name to Book-Zeke

Pineapples : i dont get it

GlowStick : okay so like book worm, but the zekes are worms

GlowStick : im a genius

GlowStick : [ link ]

GlowStick : there’s a second one lakfjdlkfjs;alkfj

GlowStick : im still blingo the fox

Pineapples : [ link ]

Pineapples : okay but why is this astrid

Too-Smart-For-You : excuse you

GlowSticks : who wants to hear a secret about caine?

RoyaltyTM : no one

onyourleft,boii : no sam tell us

GlowStick : when the police introduced me and caine it wasn’t the first time we met

RoyaltyTM : NO SAMURAI I MEAN IT

Pineapples : im terrified where did you met

RoyaltyTM : sam no sighs

RoyaltyTM : ya

GlowStick : it'dn't've

GlowStick : no ive got type it all back gdi caine

GlowStick : moshi monsters, there was this one asshole dude i competed against he hated caine for some reason???? So me and caine teamed up to piss him off

GlowStick : he sent us death threats for weeks lol

RoyaltyTM : IM TRYING TO LEAVE THAT BEHIND ME SAMURAI

Pineapples : can i tell them where me and sam met

GlowStick : sure

Pineapples : we were four and i wouldnt share my toys with any of the other kids so sam stole all me toys and replaced them with sticks but no one could it prove it was sam so i just quielty fumed at him until i kinda starta punching him??????

tiredofyou : lol

Pineapples : out of nowhere last year these random ass kids toys started showing up in my locker and sam was the only one who knew my combination and i was like ‘tf is this???? Sam please tell me you didn’t steal these from pete?’

Pineapples : sam get this ass eating shit grim on his face and says ‘quinn those are yours from when we were four. I did steal them all those years ago,’

PureTM : Didn’t you give Sam a black eye that day?

Pineapples : yes

GlowStick : okay wait, we know how astriana, rodilio, marha, ocward got together how did gairen meet

goldengirl : what is that

The-Better-Steven-Universe : ship names wait let me guss

The-Better-Steven-Universe : roger, edilio?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : mary darha

The-Better-Steven-Universe : orc, howard??

The-Better-Steven-Universe : and i am stumped on gairen

GlowStick : quinn gaither, caine soren

The-Better-Steven-Universe : oh wait how did the others meet

GlowStick : astriana, mutual friends

GlowStick : marha, school mutual crushes

GlowStick : rodilio, meet at park

GlowStick : ocward, friends to lovers

The-Better-Steven-Universe : any other ships that i should know about

Pineapples : merple

GlowStick : the fuc;;;;;; no no no noNONO NONO NOONONONONONONONONO ONONONONON

RoyaltyTM : omg merple

The-Better-Steven-Universe : what is that??

Pineapples : lanjit, jezzder,

GlowStick : lana, sanjit,, met at a smoothie shop on the beach where they work

GlowStick : jezzie sinder, same classes in school

Pineapples : sam temple, drake merwin,,,, how did yall meet

GlowStick : 1; we arent dating 2; the junior surfing competion 4 months ago, he spilt his smoothie on me

Pineapples : thats where me and caine met actually

Pineapples : you were surfing in the finals and caine made a comment on how he thought it looked easy, so i challenged him to seeing if he could take lessons from me

GlowStick : well those lessons didn’t play off, he stills sucks at surfing

RoyaltyTM : i was more concerned with kissing than surfing

GlowStick : disgusting?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : what who is drake merwin and why do they think your dating

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : im a drake merwin, and i love him

GlowStick : 1) its just a crush, 2) im not talking about this today okay?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : okay? Did i hit a nerve

Pineapples : sammy doesn’t like to talk about datng himself or his exs, or new crushes or love about himself.

The-Better-Steven-Universe : oh?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe started a conversation with GlowStick

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : is everything okay? Wait is your court thing tomorrow

GlowStick : ....yeah

GlowStick : im sorry if i was rude in the groupchat,

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : its okay i understand,

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : me saying i loved you definitely didnt help did it

GlowStick : haha its was real just a lot of things in my mind and today

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : can i help at all?

GlowStick : prolly not just dont get too mad at me

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : i could never get too mad at you, <3

GlowStick : …..<3

Chapter Text

Arsenic: ヽ( ͡°╭͜ʖ╮͡ರೃ )ノ

Fluffy: wtf r u ok?

Arsenic: (´༎ຶ  ͜ʖ ༎ຶ `)♡

Fluffy: plese stop

Arsenic: ⋋|།'͡ᴼ╭͜ʖ╮͡ᴼ'།|⋌

Fluffy: why

Arsenic: ┬┴┬┴┤ ͜ʖ ͡°) ├┬┴┬┴

Fluffy: i always feel like somebody is watching me

--------------------------------

tiredofyou added RoyaltyTM, ChainsandWhipsExciteMe, 4feetofkickass, DontTrustMe, onyourleft,boii, and gravityorboysdontaffectme into a groupchat.

tiredofyou named the chat AllTheBadGuys.

onyourleft,boii : umm, im innocent??

gravityorboysdontaffectme : no one beileves that bri

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : um why is the slut here like i dont like this

DontTrustMe : have you ever heard of puncuntation?

tiredofyou : omy godddd shut upppppp

tiredofyou : the school wants all its freak’s to be in some club thing for like the press???? So here yeah are

RoyaltyTM : we need a leader i volunteer

4feetofkickass : um andrew????

onyourleft,boii : who tf is andrew

gravityorboysdontaffectme : hes in my history class he like has shock waves right

tiredofyou : just add him

gravityorboysdontaffectme : i dont have his contact info

4feetofkickass : im not an admin

tiredofyou : finnneeee give it to me

tiredofyou added SANICSCREAM into AllTheBadGuys

SANICSCREAM : i am terrified what is going on

tiredofyou : scroll the fuck up

SANICSCREAM : alright???

SANICSCREAM : cj why did you sell me out

gravityorboysdontaffectme : yeah drew

SANICSCREAM : i will fight all of you at the same time

RoyaltyTM : why does chat go off more than ncf

SANICSCREAM : tf is ncf

tiredofyou : i’ll add you

tiredofyou : and cj

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

poolboy : okay but why is poolboy a trope in porn

Too-Smart-For-You : so you know and yet you choose your name as this why?

poolboy : okay but to be fair, answer my question

GlowStick : maybe you chose your profession

poolboy : that’s not funny at all

GlowStick : do you know what this chat needs?

tiredofyou added SANICSCREAM and 4feetofkickass into the groupchat.

GlowStick : not that

goldengirl : gdi why does she have admin privileges

GlowStick : because she doesnt have privilege anywhere else

goldengirl : i need yall to answers questions for the chart

SANICSCREAM : chart

The-Better-Steven-Universe : dont question it

goldengirl : batman vs superman, fav batman villian, sexualites, and pineapple on pizza

SANICSCREAM : hawkgirl, joker, gay gay gay, ill cut a bitch if they try to add pineapples to pizza

GlowStick : its were they belong

SANICSCREAM : no it isnt

4feetofkickass : superman, riddler, straight, and sams wrong when it comes to pineapples pizza

GlowStick : im never wrong

RoyaltyTM : okay that’s a lie samurai youre almost always wrong

GlowStick : @someone save me

poolboy : leave sammy alone i will not heastaite

The-Better-Steven-Universe : you spelled hesitate wrong

poolboy : hunter help defend sam

The-Better-Steven-Universe : i am

The-Better-Steven-Universe : im defending him from your bad spelling

Rich_Bitch : howard and orc are hiding in my garage and none of my siblings will leave me or them alone

Rich_Bitch : ‘so which one are you dating?’ none of them bitch! I am an asexual, i will fight all of you

Rich_Bitch : my sister just asked orc if he had a rock dick

Rich_Bitch : im gonna go kms see yall in hell

gunsandcigarettes : well does he

$cammin : yes he has one

poolboy : one, how many does he have

$cammin : seventeen

Book-Zeke : alkdjfsa;a;ljkddjkld stop it howard

Rich_Bitch : can we please leave please

Rich_Bitch : like go to mickey-d’s or even like die please

$cammin : one of your siblings asked ‘so whos the furry?’

gunsandcigarettes : well its obv howard

Too-Smart-For-You : it’s both of them

GlowStick : as i was saying before the pineapple wrong people joined

4feetofkickass : that’s not even an insult

GlowStick : THIS CHAT NEEDS SOME

GlowStick added fbibot in TheNoogetyClusterFuck.

GlowStick : bots

SAM’S HAREM

goldengirl : um sam?????

GlowStick : tay your suppose to watch the other students

goldengirl : okay but does drake have a brother

GlowStick : why?????

goldengirl sent the image [im freaking out]

GlowStick : they look a little alike

Book-Zeke: looks more like daddy to me

GlowStick : daddy

Book-Zeke: iadfjlkdf i mean a father son realtionship

GlowStick : i guess???????????

GlowStick : ask him even he knows a drake

goldengirl : kay

goldengirl : he says kinda??? It sounds familiar but he has amnesia so it might who knows?

GlowStick : ill be over in a minute @Black_Roses come take my place

Black_Roses : kay

GlowStick : wow he does look a lot like Draek

NeedsHelpTbh

gunsandcigarettes : sam you dont seem okay? wahts up?

GlowStick : wahts

tiredofyou : sam YOU have been weird

GlowStick : im fine honestly just busy at the moment

gunsandcigarettes : oh, its the hospital day huh

GlowStick : yeah, but like? Its the one that i like gave my statement in so im freaking a little

tiredofyou : text us later okay? <3

gunsandcigarettes : <3

GlowStick : ✌.ʕʘ‿ʘʔ.✌

tiredofyou : pfffft love ya

GlowStick : love ya too

Coates_Bad_Trio

tiredofyou : Caine whats wrong with Sam

RoyaltyTM : he screams and cover his ears whenever i ask so idk

RoyaltyTM : its freacking me and quinn out tho

tiredofyou : @drake answer the question

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : how should i know

RoyaltyTM : answer us

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : no

tiredofyou : he sweating i can see it from here

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : I DONT KNOW

tiredofyou : ill tell sam you told us and then he tell us

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : nO okay Sam’s step dad was in custody court or watevr nd sm ws frekin abut it pls dnt tel hm he hat me

RoyaltyTM : WHAT WHY DIDNT HE TELL US

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : he still feels bad about his panic attack when you met your dad

tiredofyou : he doesnt need to feel like that

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : please dont tell he wont talk to me anymore please i really like sam

RoyaltyTM : oh we know, we know

tiredofyou : wait how did the court decide

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : sams completely emancipated so he needs an apartment and a job but he doesnt want any help, believe me ive asked

RoyaltyTM : well, atleast he isnt with his stepdad

GlowStick started a conversation with ChainsandWhipsExciteMe

GlowStick : um drake?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : yeah sam

GlowStick : you told diana and caine didn’t you?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : how did you

GlowStick : you call me sammy, but anyway i need you to come to the hospital

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : why are you okay

GlowStick : yeah im fine just its easier to explain if youre here

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : i can have caine drive me

GlowStick : no just walk please no one else

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : okay ill be there in like fourteen minutes

HowToAdult

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : lets talk about families

RadioStar : why?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : because i want to

cantbevinced : oh! I have four little siblings! Choo is the oldest after me, he’s 12,

cantbevinced : then there’s peace, shes 7 and very adventurous

cantbevinced : next is bowie, hes 5, and loves mlp

cantbevinced : lastly is pixie, shes 3 and beats me up

RadioStar : mutiple kids run in my family, im actually a triplet , the middle one

RadioStar : im thinking about inviting my sis and her family for lunch with e/one

Rich_Bitch : im the youngest of nine whole siblings, youngest of 3 half mom, youngest of 12 of half dad

GlowStick : that’s a lot, i have my twin and my dad so thats like it

army_brat : you have me, sam. I have three older sisters, no nephews or nieces.

Too-Smart-For-You : well everyone knows about my five year old brother, Petey and his autism

GlowStick : also do you want me to babysit for friday w/diana

tiredofyou : please, only kid out of three marriages w/mom, five marriages w/dad

tiredofyou : i do have some step siblings tho

$cammin : one older bro in jail, no mom, left when i was baby

Book-Zeke : only kid dad and mom are getting seprated

PureTM : I have 7 older brothers, 3 younger brothers, 5 older sisters, and one younger sister.

poolboy : only kid, mom is dead

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : you didnt have to tell us that, only kid

poolboy : why not

Too-Smart-For-You : why did you wanna talk about families drake?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : I FOUND MY DAD

RoyaltyTM : WHAT WHEN

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : today!!!!!!!!!!!

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : so what had happened was when i was 4 they were fighting and my dad left and got in to a car crash, then a coma, and woke up amnesia,

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : Sam and Taylor thought he looked like me, then called me to come to the hospital to take a dna test, then they called my grandpa who i havent seen since i was 2 and im so excited

GlowStick : taylor left but im still here,

poolboy : wait what about your mom

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : uh, well after dad was legally declared dead, she remarried my stepdad and i got my two half sibs

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : lilly, six, hates me, but loves my mom

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : dairen, 2 loves me hates his dad

GlowStick : drake turn around

RoyaltyTM : what happened sam

GlowStick : i huy who vaguely looks like drakes dad came in

GlowStick : IM CRYING HELP

Too-Smart-For-You : what happened

GlowStick : drakes dad name is DRAKE MERWIN,

tiredofyou : omg

GlowStick : and DRAKES GRANDPA IS DRAKE MERWIN LAKJKLAFJ

GlowStick : i asked if he was the third and he went ‘no im the fifteenth, my great whatever started the tradition’

RoyaltyTM : IM SCREAMING

onyourleft,boii : i still wanna talk about our fams, im the second daughter of my moms second marriage

gravityorboysdontaffectme : im a only kid, but i have this one cousin who i adore

4feetofkickass : im the only kid but my parents kinda hate each other, they just ont get a divorce

SANICSCREAM : my dad left before i was born just me and my mom

Pineapples : same, my aunt sometimes comes by tho

RoyaltyTM : okay but Drake’s name situation is more pretentious than anything that i could do

tiredofyou : maybe tbd

The-Better-Steven-Universe : im the youngest of three boys! Both my parents are only children

BRUISESANDBITEMARKS : both sides of my family have a tradition of having three kids, marrying someone with two sibs, them have three kids as it goes down

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : my parents, plus me and john

goldengirl : only kid of parents that never married, and they just stuck me at coates to forgot me, thankfully i transferred to public

DontTrustMe : middle daughter of a pedophile kinda fucked up because he never paid attention to me and idk its fucked up cause i want his attention

GlowStick :

gunsandcigarettes : only kid of parents that married when they realized mom was pregnant, grandpa is best grandpa

Black_Roses : only kid, parents married

Bleeding_Violets : parents never married, mom got a sperm bank, i have hundreds of half sibs out there.

GlowStick : my phone is dying see yall later

Coates_Bad_Trio

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe : guess who stole drakes phone,,

RoyaltyTM : SAMURAI

RoyaltyTM : GDI

tiredofyou : sammy, when are we gonna have are meeting?

ChainsandWhipsExciteMe changed name to DirtyMinded

tiredofyou : is he gonna be mad

DirtyMinded : prob not he does want to change it anyway

DirtyMinded : he’d prob like that i picked one out just for him

tiredofyou : see you say that you dont like him yet you do things that will give him the impression that you do like him

DirtyMinded : See that’s the thing,,,, drake is just teasing he doesnt have a crush on me

RoyaltyTM : uh huh,

RoyaltyTM : anyway, Quinns birthday is coming up and I need ideas, or you to take my ideas and tell me which ones are bad

DirtyMinded : alright shoot me those ideas, and in general

RoyaltyTM : okay so 4 months of dating,,, a car is too much right lik hes 15 he needs to drive for his lincense

DirtyMinded : yes a car a bit too much, maybe next christmas, next

RoyaltyTM : a small vacation over winter like? A weekend w/his mom and junk too ofc

tiredofyou : hmmmm a bit more than the car is

RoyaltyTM : some jewelry? Like a bracelet

DirtyMinded : he’ll lose it and feel bad, he has butter fingers

RoyaltyTM : suggestions?

tiredofyou : that’s all you had?

RoyaltyTM : im not that good at thinking about this stuff

DirtyMinded : a dildo

RoyaltyTM : BOIII

DirtyMinded : a vibe?

tiredofyou : a vape pen

DirtyMinded : suck his dick for free

RoyaltyTM : nm ill ask dad

RoyaltyTM : and sammy, i already do that for free ;)

DirtyMinded : i mean i assumed he pad you for your services… quinn doesnt seem like the guy to skip out of the check

DirtyMinded : get him a puppy

tiredofyou : how did we go from dildos to puppies

DirtyMinded : idk verything always puppies

RoyaltyTM : what type of puppy

DirtyMinded : he actually prefers birds so get him one of those

DrtyMinded : Drake’s gp is gonna take me home then drake so bye bitches~

RoyaltyTM : WHAT TYPE OF BIRD THO

DirtyMinded sent the image [thisone]

RoyaltyTM : drake that isnt funny give the phone back to sam

DirtyMinded : he is about to fall to sleep no

AmaxingMoofs

GlowStick : so does anyone know where to find a job?

gravityorboysdontaffectme : why samuel

GlowStick : i want some money? I dont want caine to pay for me forever so job

poolboy : wendys is hiring

GlowStick : albert would fire me

poolboy : can you get albert to pay you

GlowStick : ive been doing it for free for a while it’ll feel to ask for money suddenly

The-Better-Steven-Universe : what about that surf shop on the beach

GlowStick : they’re full staffed already asked

poolboy : do porn that’s what i would do

GlowStick : sis, we’ve been knew

poolboy : omfg i hate you

GlowStick : night bois

poolboy : night sammie

The-Better-Steven-Universe : night

Chapter Text

GlowStick added Pineapples into a groupchat.

GlowStick : !!! QUINN GET YOUR THIN SURFING ASS ON HERE

Pineapples : MY ASS ISNT THIN SAM

GlowStick : YES TF IT IS BUT GUESS WHAT

Pineapples : WHAT SAM

GlowStick added Manic, and Sonia into the chat.

Manic : why just pineapples?

GlowStick : intorducing the two, the amazing, the twins,

Pineapples : AHHAHAHAH I SWEAR SAM IF YOURE FUCKING WITH ME I WILL KILL YOU

Sonia : Anna Geli

Manic : and Emma Geli

Pineapples : THE OG SQUAD IS BACK TOGETHER BABY

GlowStick renamed the chat to The_OG_Squad .

Pineapples : so im bi, and i have a bf.

Sonia : im bi, too! And a gf!

Manic : BI BUT SINGLE SO SAM BE MY WINGMAN?

GlowStick : FOREVER AND ALWAys

GlowStick : Also pan

Pineapples : Sam how tf did you get their info

Sonia sent an image [bich,weback].

Pineapples : omw,

GlowStick : Get in this group hug!!!!

GlowStick : im gonna add them to TNCF

Pineapples : YES BITCH

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

GlowStick added Sonia, and Manic into TheNoogettyClusterFuck.

Sonia : who made the name?

GlowStick : me!

Sonia : SAM ILYSM

SANICSCREAM : hi my siblings

Manic : lkfslakf fuck

Pineapples : wait why are youre guys names sonia and manic

Sonia : in this old sonic cartoon, sonic is a triplet with a pink hedgehog (me), and a green one (emma).

Manic : we chose these names because we absorbed our triplet in the womb, so rip sonic

GlowStick : AWW ILYALL SO MUCH

SANICSCREAM : can i be your shadow?

Manic : get in here faker

RoyaltyTM : what is going on?

GlowStick : HTAT MY TWIN CAINE

Manic : BICH SINCE WHEN

GlowStick : SINCE LAST YEAR, WE MET AND NOW WE LIKE EACH OTHER

Pineapples : And my bf.

Sonia : @GlowStick gc with just the twins

GlowStick : NICE!!!!

RoyaltyTM : NO!!!!

GlowStick : FINE LATER

gunsandcigarettes : who are these people,

goldengirl : i’ll ask yall questions for the chart later I am tired

onyourleft,boii : sam

GlowStick : yes?

onyourleft,boii : can i add my ex-gf, and her gf?

GlowStick : just send me their stuff you don’t have admin privileges

tiredofyou : why would you want your ex-gf in here?

onyourleft,boii : to suffer with me

tiredofyou : im glad that you’re that petty bri

onyourleft,boii : thnx

GlowStick added Prophetic_Dreams, and StillAnEmoPhase into the chat.

Prophetic_Dreams : whats going on?

onyourleft,boii : hi welcome to hell can i take your order?

StillAnEmoPhase : gdi Berenson

gunsandcigarettes : i’m sorry whom?

onyourleft,boii : that’s my last name,

onyourleft,boii : I’ve swear ive told yall that before

tiredofyou : u ever just meet someone who is the embodiment of the first name

RoyaltyTM : Computer Jack

gunsandcigarettes : cookie

tiredofyou : panda

tiredofyou : bug

GlowStick : talyor

DirtyMinded : penny

Rich_Bitch : howard

$cammin : ALBERT YOU KNOW MY LAST NAME

Rich_Bitch : but still

poolboy : Hunter

The-Better-Steven-Universe : you rite

Black_Roses : Jezzie

Bleeding_Violets : Sinder

Pineapples : Roger

GlowStick : guess what ya bich just did

GlowStick : guess what ya bich just got like it’s nothing

GlowStick : guess what ya bich is now

GlowStick sent the image [praiseme]

Pineapples : you got a job!!!

GlowStick : yeah, the arts and crafts store right next to day care

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : i work at the day care

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : i will talk to you and take you there

GlowStick : demanding not asking

i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : yes

GlowStick : fine

BRUISES&BITEMARKS : mood

Human_Krew

Z-Baby : @The-Better-Steven-Universe talk to us you bitch

The-Better-Steven-Universe : what do you want

Mona-Lisa : for you to get rid of those freaks

Blue-Paladin : yeah u use 2 b cool and now u suc

The-Better-Steven-Universe : they are my friends and they like me for me

The-Better-Steven-Universe : unlike you guys they aren’t upset about my powers

TheTurkArmy : did we ever say we were upset about your powers?

Z-Baby : I believe that we were actually upset about you not telling us

The-Better-Steven-Universe : you guys were talking about attacking Duck because he got powers

Blue-Paladin : who?

Mona-Lisa : the human drill

Blue-Paladin : oh kay

The-Better-Steven-Universe : another thing, Duck is a person, he doesn’t like that name so knock it off

Z-Baby : so you think that just cause you got powers now you all big and bad?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : and you think that just cause you got some friends that your racist opinion matters?

TheTurkArmy : we stick together unlike you

The-Better-Steven-Universe : then kick me off the chat!

The-Better-Steven-Universe : my friends actually care about unlike you guys!

The-Better-Steven-Universe : all you guys cared about was my basement so you guys could smoke weed and watch football on my dad’s tv

The-Better-Steven-Universe : please kick me off this racist, arrogant, stupid, ignorant chat

Z-Baby : stupid? How the FUCK are we stupid to want safety from the freaks

The-Better-Steven-Universe : you dont need to attack others for safety, they don’t want to hurt anyone, you guys are the ones hurting others

Blue-Paladin : we haven’t hurt anyone

The-Better-Steven-Universe : you guys planned to attack Duck!

The-Better-Steven-Universe : and Turk made a grilled duck joke

TheTurkArmy : we were high

The-Better-Steven-Universe started a conversation with GlowStick:

The-Better-Steven-Universe : sam i need your help

GlowStick : anything

GlowStick : in the month i’ve known you i will kill for you

The-Better-Steven-Universe : well, we aren’t at the part yet, but I’m gonna add you to a chat and can you convince them to kick me out?

GlowStick : sure!

Human_Krew

The-Better-Steven-Universe added GlowStick into the chat.

Z-Baby : who the fuck is this?

GlowStick : who are yall?

Z-Baby : Zil

GlowStick : ew, hunter i thought you liked me

The-Better-Steven-Universe : i do!

GlowStick : Then why am I in the chat with sewer trash

Mona-Lisa : excuse me

GlowStick : youre excused

Blue-Paladin : dont talk 2 her like that

GlowStick : after you stop typing like youre on myspace in 2005, geez

Z-Baby : why don’t you just leave?

GlowStick : kick hunter out of the chat and then ill leave

TheTurkArmy : wow hunter can’t fight your own battles so you get some freak to do it for you

GlowStick : I’m only a freak in the sheets (◕‿-)

Z-Baby : no one here is gay, you fag

The-Better-Steven-Universe : im bi, so stfu

ANTY : no you’re not you just think you are because the freaks messed with your mind

GlowStick : No one is gay here, huh, Zil? Well, I guess you only like guys when they’re passed out high, and telling you to stop and fighting back huh?

GlowStick : 2nd, no one can mess with each others minds, hunter is who he says he is,

Z-Baby : i dont fucking know what the fuck youre talking about you fucking dyke

GlowStick : see, being in 4 classes with you taught me something

GlowStick : the more you cuss, the more scared you are.

Z-Baby : oh so that’s what this is about. You like me.

GlowStick : i dont like rapists

GlowStick : or idiots too stupid to know how to kick someone out of a chat

Z-Baby : everyone here knows how to do that

GlowStick : then do it.

ANTY kicked The-Better-Steven-Universe out of Human_Krew.

GlowStick started a conversation with The-Better-Steven-Universe

GlowStick : go to your profile, click the x, type their group chat and it’ll block them and their chat for you

The-Better-Steven-Universe : thank you!

Human_Krew

Z-Baby : antonie you idiot

GlowStick : leave my friends alone

GlowStick left Human_Krew.

The-Better-Steven-Univese started a conversation with GlowStick.

The-Better-Steven-Universe : sam can i ask a question?

GlowStick : about?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : what you said to Zil

GlowStick : a friend of mine was at some party with him, and Zil started to y’know touch him, and

GlowStick : my friend was pushing Zil away and Zil gave him a black eye,

GlowStick : we’re in group therapy, and he’s homeschooled now,

The-Better-Steven-Universe : Tell him I wish I was there to help

GlowStick : dont worry you dont know him, but i think he does need a little bit of more friends.

GlowStick added Manic, Sonia, and RoyaltyTM into the chat.

GlowStick named the chat Twinses.

RoyaltyTM: im not even shocked

Manic : we should all get smoothies

GlowStick : emma you hate socializing

Manic : yeah but me and you can spot out cuties

Sonia : and i can video talk to my gf!

RoyaltyTM : then I’m bringing Quinn

Manic : the og squad + Caine

RoyaltyTM : wait what

GlowStick : see the four of us were bffs since we were like 8 and then the geli’s HAD to move

Sonia : sam we’ve apologized please we’re sorry

RoyaltyTM : then how are you guys back

Manic : our dad got a better job so we moved back

Sonia : also caine were half way there so

RoyaltyTM : im omw

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

RoyaltyTM: this is a callout post to sam

GlowStick : what did i do

RoyaltyTM : he still has pokemon go on his phone

tireofyou : omfg i thought sam did something acutally problematic

Rich_Bitch : im sorry to tell you this but that is problematic

gunsandcigarettes : i mean??? I knew

RoyaltyTM : and you haven’t repossesed his phone for it yet??

Manic : unlike you other people have some chill

Sonia : he deadass gasped in the middle of smoothie place and spat all over me and Emma

GlowStick : guys what are words that start with d

tiredofyou : diana

GlowStick : besides names

DirtyMinded : dirty

Rich_Bitch : dicks

Sonia : douchebags

Pineapples : damn

tiredofyou : doodles

StillAnEmoPhase : that got weird and unweird real fast

RoyaltyTM : dumbbutts

Pineapples : see you freaked out about pokemon go, and yet you need to get called out on your lack of cursing, i mean ive heard edilio curse

PureTM : I’ve only cursed in Spanish.

GlowStick : man i havent heard from you on the chat in like years

PureTM : I dont want to deal with your drama and petty fighting.

Pineapples ; i understand

DirtyMinded : sam why did you need this

GlowStick : they are 3 people that names start with d and i need word to go with them and now im narrowing it down.

onyourleft,boii : whom?

tiredofyou : so theres me, drake, duck, darha and dekka, so whose the unnamed two?

GlowStick : you’re forgetting David

DirtyMinded : who the fuck is David

RoyaltyTM : SAMURAI

GlowStick : that’s caine’s birthname?

GlowStick : he seriously didn’t tell yall

tiredofyou : no he fuckign did not

DirtyMinded : guys we’re the 3 d’s

tiredofyou : caine change our gc to 3 d’s do it

RoyaltyTM : sighs

Coates_Bad_Trio

RoyaltyTM changed the chat name to The_3_Ds.

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

RoyaltyTM : happy?

DirtyMinded : the 3ds

GlowStick : guys we still havent decided what the 3 d’s stand for

DirtyMinded : if you stand for nothing, then what’ll you fall for

tiredofyou : i call dicks

DirtyMinded : im dumbasses

GlowStick : david wait are you

RoyaltyTM : my name is caine, and im not doing it

Pineapples : he’s douchebags

RoyaltyTM : Quinn you’re suppose to back me up

Pineapple : no im suppose to kiss it better after they make fun of you

RoyaltyTM : i

RoyaltyTM : okay

Manic : @DirtyMinded was that a hamilton reference?

DirtyMinded : YES

GlowStick : bich we actually recited non-stop in one of our chats but switched the names

Manic : bitch

Pineapples : im so glad im not in the chat

RoyaltyTM : i wish i wasn’t in that chat to be honest

tiredofyou : caine you shortened to tbh

RoyaltyTM : i dont care

tiredofyou : idc

Sonia : wait do you not like hamilton quinn

Pineapples : its not like i hate it but

GlowStick : shun him

Manic : shun him

Pineapple : I JUST LIKE BMC MORE OKAY

Sonia : everybody’s got a red solo cup

Pineapples : AHH

GlowStick : but can we agree the best off-broadway is Percy Jackson

tiredofyou : okay i know that one

GlowStick : it’s good rite

tiredofyou : last day of summer is my favorite

RoyaltyTM : haven’t heard it

Pineapples : ill send you the link to full soundtrack

TheBoysTM

Cookie-Monster : babe please tell me you had home ecs today

Panda-Bear : yeah why

Cookie-Monster : instead of a cookie monster, i am panda’s homemade cooking monster

Panda-Bear : did you hear

Cookie-Monster : what happened

Panda-Bear : the geli twins are back

Cookie-Monster : they are going to kill us, we teased sam and quinn while their gone,

Cookie-Monster : do you remember in 4th grade when orc pulled on quinn’s hat?

Panda-Bear : Anna jumped off the swingsets and kicked orc in the head

Cookie-Monster : while Emma punched howard in the dick

Panda-Bear : do you think if we give them some of my food theyll spare us

Cookie-Monster : is giving up your food the same as living at all

Panda-Bear : omg youre so fuckign dramatic

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

Sonia : so panda came out of nowhere and gave me and emma food ??? whats was that about

tiredofyou : oh man, you lucky hoe, cookie usually steals all of panda’s home ec food

Manic : why tho

tiredofyou : why does cookie takes it or why did he give it to you?

Manic : the second one

$cammin : so you won’t kill them

Sonia : why would we kill them

$cammin : they teased Sam and Quinn for a little after you guys left

Manic : the food better be good

$cammin : i mean I STILL HAVE THE SCAR FROM 4TH GRADE SO

Manic : you have a scar on your dick

Book-Zeke : o my god

DirtyMinded : wait explain

Manic : in 4th grade orc and howard was teasing sammy and quinnie so me and anna beat them up

Sonia : i kicked orc in the head, and emma punched howard in the other head

Book-Zeke : i used to have the scar then i turned rocky

GlowStick started a conversation with poolboy.

GlowStick : rubber duckyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy

poolboy : what

GlowStick : i think we need to do something to cheer up hunter

poolboy : why whats wrong

GlowStick : his old ‘friends’ are harrasing him, and so i thought we could make a gc with him

poolboy : what why we tho you could just make one without anyone’s approval

GlowStick : i want to use it to trash talk su

poolboy : omg hunter loves trashing su then do it

GlowStick added poolboy, The-Better-Steven-Universe, BRUISES&BITEMARKS, RoyaltyTM, Pineapples, and i've_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now into the chat.

GlowStick named the chat StephenGalaxy.

GlowStick : this chat is used for trash talking steven universe.

The-Better-Steven-Universe : thank god i need something to talk about

Pineapples : okay so like mary and darha are obv ruby and sapphire

GlowStick : which one is which is the question

RoyaltyTM : mary is saph, darha is ruby

BRUISES&BITEMARKS : sam is lapis sorry i dont make the rules

i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : quinn is peridot

Pineapples : duck is connie fite me on this

poolboy : why are we assigning ourselves to the characters

GlowStick : because i said

GlowStick : caine is either lars or jasper

RoyaltyTM : jasper please

Pineapples : what about pearl and garnet, and amethyst

i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : and greg

GlowStick : caine you are now amthyst

RoyaltyTM : even tho she’s the 2nd worst out of them, you ship her w/peridot thats why

GlowStick : it’s one of the ships that was completely beautiful in the show

BRUISES&BITEMARKS : um ruby/sapphire

GlowStick : more romance w/them then we shall talk

The-Better-Steven-Universe : okay so then, jasper can be edilio

GlowStick : AHHHH

RoyaltyTM : wait before you add him lets find out who else we are adding into the mess

Pineapples : diana is garnet, i mean she does look like a fusion of mary/darha

i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now : ill take that as a compliment

The-Better-Steven-Universe : drake is pearl

GlowStick : conspiracy theory?

RoyaltyTM : you’re probably right

poolboy : so we have pearl (drake), garnet (diana), amethyst (caine), steven (hunter), connie (me), lapis (sam), peridot (quinn), and jasper (edilio).

BRUISES &BITEMARKS: so greg, the diamonds, and anyone else?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : any human expect connie and greg are basically pointless, so no

GlowStick : do we really want the diamonds, tho?

Pineapples : sam

Pineapples : the twins can be yaknow the diamonds

GlowStick : EMMA IS BLUE, MY DIAMOND

Pineapples : ANNA IS YELLOW, NICE

RoyaltyTM : but you guys leave homeworld

GlowStick added Manic, Sonia, DirtyMinded, tiredofyou, PureTM into the chat.

PureTM : What’s going on?

GlowStick : scroll up

Manic : neat

Sonia : you didn’t scroll up

Manic : how do you know

Sonia : im sitting right next to you

tiredofyou : im that petty

DirtyMinded : why am i pearl

GlowStick: because i said

Pineapples : goddammit sam

TheGCThatWeUseToTalkAboutTheOtherGC

GlowStick : should we add caine to this

tiredofyou : i mean we make fun of him alot in here

Pineapples : yeah but mostly sam

gunsandcigarettes : anyway we def need ed

GlowStick : he hate being called that and you know it

GlowStick added PureTM, RoyaltyTM, and DirtyMinded into the chat.

tiredofyou : why did you add drake

GlowStick : felt like it

PureTM : I just want a nap.

GlowStick : sleep you beautiful creature you

FIGHT_ME_SANJIT

gunsandcigarettes : i need someone to babysit sam for me

a_train_mf : No.

cantbevinced : lana I already have a job, i cant do it

gunsandcigarette : i know for a fact that you dont have to work next friday so you are coming and helping me watch sam at the checkups

cantbevinced : choo youre helping or ill tell jen that youre the one who broke her vase

a_train_mf : I guess, like she has 300 of those vases.

cantbevinced : glad we came to an agreeance

AllTheBadGuys

tiredofyou added Praying-Mantis into the chat.

DirtyMinded : who the fuck is this

Praying-Mantis : bug

DontTrustMe : oh the pervert

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

tiredofyou added Praying-Mantis into the chat.

tiredofyou : i know you like all your friends and their friends in one place

GlowStick : thank you

DirtyMinded : guys im dying

$cammin : what’s going on

DirtyMinded : my parents made me get up at the ass crack of dawn on Sunday just to go to church with my cousins

Too-Smart-For-You : oh my god

tiredofyou : why do they want you to go to church

DirtyMinded : so ill be late with hanging out with my dad today

GlowStick : that type of petty is not welcomed here

RoyaltyTM : do you know what you should do

DirtyMinded : run away

GlowStick : NO!!!!!

RoyaltyTM : pretend like youre burning when you first enter

tiredofyou : bruh

GlowStick : @Too-Smart-For-You, please record it for me

DirtyMinded : imma gonna do it

Pineapples : did caine gain some of Sam’s humor?

RoyaltyTM : no?

RoyaltyTM : i just hate brittney

tiredofyou : BITCH

tiredofyou : ME

poolboy : astrid share the video

Too-Smart-For-You : he’s not here yet calm down

PureTM : Are you actually going to record this?

Too-Smart-For-You : yeah, petey’s home this week with mom so he wont freak at drakes screaming

GlowStick : he doesn’t go any more?

Too-Smart-For-You : the pastor screaming and stomping freaks him out and so we thought it be good to take turns watching him on sundays

GlowStick : need any help just come get me

DirtyMinded : alright were here get ready

poolboy : guys it’s been 15 minutes what happened

DirtyMinded : my parents sent me back to the fucking car im dying of laughter and heatstroke.

GlowStick : come over to my house

DirtyMinded : i dont know where you live?

Too-Smart-For-You uploaded a video [samisthiswhathesoundslikeinbed ]

GlowStick : how should i know asstrid?

tiredofyou : astrid out here taking names

Too-Smart-For-You : I’m sick of the pining

GlowStick : theres’ no fucking pining.

Too-Smart-For-You : i cant tell if my dad is going to ground me or take me out for ice cream

tiredofyou : hwy

Too-Smart-For-You : my family kinda hates the dougals

Too-Smart-For-You : they said if we weren’t sinner petey wouldn’t be ‘sick’

GlowStick : omw to fite

Too-Smart-For-You : its fine sam

GlowStick : still omw to pick drake up

DirtyMinded : ayyyyy, also i hate my cousin too

GlowStick : so we hate her yes? But drake has her on his phone and you the ruels

tiredofyou : sam no

Pineapples : sam did the thing with rued but with ruels

GlowStick added Accept-God into the chat.

Rich_Bitch : never

SANICSCREAM added 4feetofkickass, a_train_mf, Accept-God, Black-Roses, Bleeding-Violets, Cookie-Monster, Manic, Panda-Bear, Praying-Mantis, Prophetic_Dreams, Sonia, StillAnEmoPhase, the-gay-palette-suits-me-better into a chat.

SANICSCREAM named the chat BackgroundCharactersAreImportant2.

Manic : who said i was a background character

Panda-Bear : okay wait who are these people and how do you have my info

SANICSCREAM : panda its andrew

Panda-Bear : okay nvm then

Sonia : can everyone please tell me their names it scares me not knowing

a_train_mf : my name is virtue

Manic : no offense but that is the weirdest name ever

a_train_mf : its not my birth name so i dont mind

4feetofkickass : i am computer jack

SANICSCREAM : everyone calls him cj tho

4feetofkickass : silence drew

Praying-Mantis : everyone calls me bug so

SANICSCREAM : he also has a turn on for women beating him up hence his name

Praying-Mantis : i mean youre not wrong

a_train_mf : disgusting?

Accept-God : oh! do you need to talk to god?

a_train_mf : no thanks

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : wait a minute

the-gay-palette-suits-me-better : cookie, panda, and virtue, like sanj’s brother

a_train_mf : yeah that me

Black-Roses ; how do you know sanjit;s brother

SANICSCREAM : none of your business

Bleeding-Violets : terrifying

Praying-Mantis : add them to tncf

SANICSCREAM : i dont have admin

Bleeding-Violets : then give it to sam

TheNoogetyClusterFuck

SANICSCREAM: sam im gonna send info your way so you can add them in here

GlowStick : noice! people!

DirtyMinded : like are they even people sam wont add to this chat

The-Better-Steven-Universe : yup

DirtyMinded : whom?

The-Better-Steven-Universe : you really dont want to know

GlowStick added Panda-Bear, Cookie-Monster, and a_train_mf into the chat.

a_train_mf : someone please kick me

SANICSCREAM : out of the group chat or in rl

a_train_mf : both

cantbevinced : ahhhhhh choo

DirtyMinded : your brother chew?

DirtyMinded : autocorrect

a_train_mf : yeah that me

gunsandcigarettes : great so you guys can suffer with us

Cookie-Monster : LANA!!!! hi

tiredofyou : panda? Nice to hear from ya

GlowStick : wait a minute

GlowStick : you guys are friends?

gunsandcigarettes : yes sam

GlowStick : i feel betrayed?

GlowStick : you kno i like having a lot of people in one chat to deal with things it helps meeeeeee

tiredofyou : sorry, ill get you food saturday

GlowStick : this is acceptable sacrifice

ImDyingSquirtle

Rich_Bitch : guys????? Im dyinggggggggg com one

Rich_Bitch : please before they see me

$cammin : before who sees you?

Rich_Bitch : MERPLE

Book-Zeke : what

Rich_Bitch sent the image [theshiphassailed]

$cammin : is sam in Drake’s lap???? Omg

Book-Zeke : anyone can literally see them? Are they official?

Rich_Bitch : idk im hiding

$cammin : ask them!!!!

Rich_Bitch : ok!!!!

Book-Zeke : its been five minutes al are you alive

Rich_Bitch : please don’t call me that

Rich_Bitch : they are secertly dating so dont tell caine or like anyone, and drake therthen all of us including the dude at the counter if it got out

Rich_Bitch : according to sam, he isnt ready to come out in front of everyone and be in a relationship for others to judge

$cammin : sam or drake?

Rich_Bitch : sam

Chapter Text

MONSTERS_&_HEATHENS

Napalm : can we please change the fucking chat name

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : no :3c

Napalm : fuck you

NYOOOM : hey before we do the daily dose of ‘this groupchat and their problems’ can someone give me the answers to number 7 on menik’s homwork

*lightsabersounds* : it’s d

Napalm : why the fuck do you help them cheat

Napalm : your mister goody two-shoes

*lightsabersounds* : i’m stressed beyond caring tommy

Napalm : don’t start that bullshit again

All-Women-Are-Queens : @NYOOOM did you finish the paper for hiks

NYOOOM : lol no

*lightsabersounds* : that’s in two hours

NYOOOM : i can fudge it

V.V : silence

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : did you remember you medicene today vincent

V.V : i just took it.

NYOOOM : where’s our seventh member?

Art-is-Pain : did someone call me?

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : go back to england justin

Art-is-Pain : I NEVER WENT THERE

V.V : hey how do you not start crying because you saw a flower

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : are you sure you took your meds vincent

V.V : yes,,, lemme ask my mom

All-Women-Are-Queens : so the plans for today still on?

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : cruz no 1 rule in this groupchat

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : never mention anything in front of Tom

Napalm : what are you doing

*lightsabersounds* : field trip

Napalm : that is even more terrifying where are you going

V.V : she said yes

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : vincent, tell us about your new book

Napalm : shade

NYOOOM : even scarier question is the trio going?

All-Women-Are-Queens : Armo… sweetheart, you said you’d drive us

NYOOOM : That’s today? Well shit

V.V : the great gatsby

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : you can still come right

NYOOOM : oh yeah i just need gas

*lightsabersounds* : joy, justin you still coming?

Napalm : wait a mintue whos NOT coming?

V.V : it’s okay

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : hmmmmm, you

All-Women-Are-Queens : depends on vincent mood today

V.V : feel like a 2

*lightsabersounds* : have you had breakfast yet

V.V : no

All-Women-Are-Queens : I can make you lunch, sandwiches!!!!!

V.V : ≧◡≦

NYOOOM : vincent and cruz are the only pure beings left alive

Art-is-Pain : breath if your not surpised

Napalm : where are you going

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : you don’t need to know

*lightsabersounds* : hoe don’t do it

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : THOT

*lightsabersounds* : oh my god

NYOOOM : STOP USING OLD MEMES GODDAMIT

All-Women-Are-Queens : *stuffing garlic bread into my purse* i got to go

Art-is-Pain : cruz is the only one left allowed to use memes

NYOOOM : anyone who would marry cruz speak now or forever hold your peace

Napalm : okay no

NYOOOM : the rest of us are happily married to cruz and you can eat ass Tom

Art-is-Pain : the first time i met cruz i wanted to do drawings of them but they said no :/

All-Women-Are-Queens : you wanted to do nude modeling

NYOOOM : AJDLSJ

*lightsabersounds* : i’d pay for that

Art-is-Pain : the pictures or cruz to model nude infront of you

*lightsabersounds*: why not both

NYOOOM : first of all i was married to cruz first, so if anything id get to have her love and affection

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : that’s what id thought you say

*lightsabersounds* : who’s scary shade or the babadook

All-Women-Are-Queens : someone change the chat icon to our gay icon, the babdook

Napalm : you can’t i have admin privileges

V.V : so do i

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : ayyy vincent

NYOOOM : holy shit he #didthat

All-Women-Are-Queens : vincent can be our new queen, i resign

NYOOOM : NO

*lightsabersounds* : co-queens

All-Women-Are-Queens : *softly gasps in spanish* you right

Napalm : we can come back to this after school

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : no we aren’t

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot started a conversation with All-Women-Are-Queens

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : you told tom where to find armo’s car

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : and now he’s coming with us

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : all seven of us in Armo’s speedracer

All-Women-Are-Queens : he gave me the detention look

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : seriously?

All-Women-Are-Queens : seriously.

MONSTERS_&_HEATHENS

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : cruz is off the hook for telling tom

NYOOOM : why tho

*lightsabernoises*: let me guess, detention look

All-Women-Are-Queens : yeah

NYOOOM : TOM WHY

Napalm : i needed information

V.V : not cool

Napalm : cruz ill buy you sonic if you get them to lay off

NYOOOM : YOU CANT MENTION SONIC AND NOT BUY ME SOME

*lightsabersounds* : you still owe me money, but i’ll take a slushy

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : i want a pretzel, with cheese

V.V: can i have chicken strips

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : Fuck your chicken strips!

V.V : rude

All-Women-Are-Queens : It’s a vine vincent, shade means no harm on it.

V.V : oh

V.V : sorry

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : its fine

All-Women-Are-Queens : i want tater tots

Napalm : the usual table for lunch?

All-Women-Are-Queens : yes

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : better go now Tom, the lines are long

Napalm : how can you make everything sound like a threat

All-Women-Are-Queens : it’s her superpower

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : given to me by alien gods

V.V : aliens aren’t real

*lightsabersounds* : we’re just picking on tom, vincent

V.V : this is allowed

NYOOOM : HA vincent even makes fun of tom

Napalm : so what exactly are planning on doing in perdido beach

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : my mom’s triplet brother’s twin sons live there

*lightsabersounds* : so your cousins?

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : if you wanna call them that

All-Women-Are-Queens : cool, but what exactly are we gonna do there

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : im gonna find out gave them their powers

Napalm : the government can do that

V.V : can they can they really

NYOOOM : doesn’t both your parents work for the govt vu?

All-Women-Are-Queens : and yours shade

V.V : yeah

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : yuppo

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : which is how I know something bad is gonna happen

Napalm : i mean already me and Malik can make sure you don’t do something stupid

*lightsabersounds*: Who are you kidding Tom we’d be doing the stupid shit with them

All-Women-Are-Queens : so Tom and Malik are the mom friends?

*lightsabersounds*: tom is more like the friend that has to be in control of everything other than the friend who is actually the mom friend

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : you’re the mom friend Malik

*lightsabersounds* : got to be something huh

All-Women-Are-Queens : which friend am i

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : ‘looks like a cinnamon roll, is a cinnamon roll’

Napalm : isn’t that a hella old men

Napalm : *meme

V.V : what am I

NYOOOM : the lovable one that looks all quiet and soft but has gone to jail for punching his teacher in the throat

V.V : can we stop bringing that up

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : Armo is the friend that looks like the stereotype but breaks every single one including the stereotype of not a typical whatever

NYOOOM : is this because I switch clubs every two weeks

All-Women-Are-Queens : yes

*lightsabersounds*: shade is ‘looks like they could kill, has already poisoned your drink’

All-Women-Are-Queens : jansndndndndbdhdhjd

NYOOOM : oh tubular

V.V: skdjjddj can that be our new catchphrase in the chat room

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : yes

Napalm : I high key hate all of you

All-Women-Are-Queens : but you low key love us

Napalm : yeah I do

NYOOOM : toms gay text it

Napalm : jehehdhd bi

NYOOOM : wait was that you coming out

NYOOOM : OTM I MENA IT COME HER E

{3:24 p.m}

Napalm : what are we listening to

All-Women-Are-Queens : why did ya ask in the gc

Napalm : it’s Vincent’s turn with the aux and I don’t want to interrupt his music

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : it’s the mean girls broadway album

Napalm : what song are we listening to

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : where you belong

Napalm : thanks

Art-Is-Pain : again thanks @*lightsabersounds* for letting me borrow your charger

*lightsabersounds* : np

Napalm : so hw exactly are we gonna figure out the powers if the govt cant do it

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : haven’t thought that far ahead

Napalm : not that surprised tbh

{5:02 pm}

Napalm : oh fuck of FUVK

{6:38 pm}

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot started a conversation with GlowStick

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : hy cux

GlowStick : shade?

GlowStick : what’s up?

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : im currently in the hospital

GlowStick : FOR WHAT??

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : so me and my friends being teenagers and not realizing that things could y’now

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : kill us we decided to figure out gave yall your powers

GlowStick : jfc

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : so my one friend named Malik brought a thing that measures radioactive

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : and we found this mine thats making the machine beep like crazy

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : so we go in like any normal teenagers.

GlowStick : okay continue

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : we find a glowing alien rock

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : and

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : we ate it

GlowStick : IM SORRY YOU DID WHAT

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : what about ‘we ate it’ that wasnt clear

GlowStick : i swear to god I will kill you

TheNoogettyClusterFuck

GlowStick : @RoyaltyTM do you remember out cousin she’s like 14

RoyaltyTM : yes????

GlowStick added If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot in the groupchat.

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : sam that is the best name ever

GlowStick : i know right

RoyaltyTM : @If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot what did you do

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot : we found the thing that gave yall your powers and ate it

Pineapples : oh vore?

a_train_mf : thanks! i hate it

RoyaltyTM : we?

GlowStick added *lightsabersounds*, All-Girls-Are-Queens, Art-is-Pain, Napalm, NYOOOM, V.V into the chat.

Pineapples : i love your names

*lightsabersounds*: i kinda want to change for our new powers

NYOOOM : smae

If-She-Breathes-She-A-Thot changed chat name to Parasite

Pineapples : MOOD!!!

All-Girls-Are-Queens changed chat name to Invisi-Girl

NYOOM changed chat name to Cubchoo

*lightsabersounds* changed chat name to Snow-Owl

V.V changed chat name to Patrick

Art-is-Pain changed chat name to Crab-Boy

gravityorboysdontaffectme : at one point i want to ask but the othee point doesnt

Parasite : i get that

Cubchoo : @Napalm change your name

Napalm : i think mine still fits

Patrick : i guess

Crab-Boy : i’m tired :/ night night

Invisi-Girl : night night

{12:02 am}

GlowStick : i found the song that represents this gc

GlowStick : link

Snow-Owl : what the fuck

GlowStick : that’s fair tbh

Chapter Text

Albert Hillsborough (Rich_Bitch) - new owner of mcdonalds, ace, no powers,

Andrew (SANICSCREAM) - the kid who caine tied up and was recorded as he poofed, friends with computer jack, has a power of sonic wave thing that falls but from his hands not mouth

Anna Geli (Sonia) - one of the twins that first poofed, idk remember which one dated sam so tragic, no powers, has a gf (OC),

Antonie (ANTY) - human crew, died in lies i think, no powers

Aristotle Armo Adamo (Cubachoo) - in Monster, in love with cruz, can turn into a polar bear,

Astrid Ellison (Too-Smart-For-You) - dating diana, is lowkey losing faith in religion but still goes to church if petey isn’t too bad on sundays, no powers

Brianna Berenson (onyourleft,boii) - the breezeTM, like 12, lives across the street from sam’s old house, and they use to be babysat together which is how they met

Brittney Dougal (Accept-God) - cousins w/Drake, was in cult for like the 13 first years of her life, doesn’t understand that you can be gay

Bug (Praying-Mantis) - thinks saying ‘step on me’ is respectful, is very in love with himself, keeps flirting w/Dekka even though the age gap and she’s a lesbian

Caine Soren (RoyaltyTM) - dating the boy quinn, is in love with himself, thought that a car would be an appropriate birthday gift

Choo Brattle-Chance (a_train_mf) - is good with cameras, loves all his siblings and his adopted parents, has a sibling bond with lana

Computer Jack (4feetofkickass) - friends w/andrew and bri, is scared of dekka, hates his powers,

Cookie (Cookie-Monster) - loves lana in friend way, is dating panda, probably wants more food,

Dahra Baidoo (BRUISESANDBITEMARKS) - i love her, is dating mary, has probably fought mary’s brother

Darius Lee Ashton (army_brat) - it’s okay if you don’t remember him, is dating taegan, has fistfought a pedo

Dekka Talent (gravityorboysdontaffectme) - god i love her, has fistfought everyone in the gc, loves taco bell as a take out food

Diana Ladris - dating astrid, flirts alot, hates the beach, hates school, likes to tease everyone

Drake Merwin (DirtyMinded) - secretly dating sam so shhhhhh, has daddy issuses, likes fishing w/grandpa, fucking hates his tentacle arm it fucking sucks

Duck Zhang (poolboy) - how can you forgot him, the most iconicTM line in the entire book, is probably going to flirt with hunter,

Edilio Escobar (PureTM) - dating roger, stays out of the gc cause can’t deal with drama, somehow has all the tea though,

Emma Geli (Manic) - anna’s twin, bffs w/sam and quinn like her sister, prob has killed a man

Francis Specter - whom?????????????, secret for villian, im scared,

Gaia Soren-Ladris (LittleDevil) - exists, lives with either grandpa (taegan) or foster mom, has a phone because her parents are rich

Howard ($cammin) - gay, dating orc, is still on his bullshit, is that vine where a dude gets a bong and he says he can do it by himself and he blows out the drug

Hugo Cruz Rojas (Invisi-Girl) - transgirl ftw, love her, has caught shade doing illegal activities, is good in science

Hunter (The-Better-Steven-Universe) - technically has a lion, all of his old friends were snakes, has a power, is upper middle class

Jezzie (Bleeding_Violets) - emo, love, flowers,

Justin DeVeere (Crab-Boy) - may or may not know of homestuck, is a cancer in case you wondering, fucking hates painting people let him paint landscapes godfuck,

Lana Arwen Lazar (gunsandcigarettes) - our qween, is so fucking valid, hasn’t smoked a cigarette in 3 weeks, if she gets to 4 weeks sanjit buys a red lobster for the big ass gc as in the restaurant

Lance (Blue-Paladin) - human crew, is the cute from far away then he speaks and you are like oh no hes stupid, would so say #lightskinistherightskin, had a gay moment once but it’s fine,

Lisa (Mona-Lisa) - human crew, probably would use the terms top or bottom in a straight setting, calls lance daddy,

Malik Tenerife (Snow-Owl) - hc that he gets owl wings, i like birds, is the meme king alongside shade and cruz,

Mary Terrafino (i’ve_adopted_all_of_you_heathens_now) - dating dahra, goes to work with sam, accidently cursed in front of some 5 year olds

Nerezza (StillAnEmoPhase) - do you remember her, if it’s okay if you don’t, dating orsay

Orc (Book-Zeke) - found a passion for books, mostly audiobooks but it’s okay, likes when his bf howard reads to him,

Orsay (Prophetic_Dreams) - dating nerezza, my au my rules mate, works at a pizza place

Panda (Panda-Bear) - is a great home cook, is friends with Diana because they went to a cooking class together, kinda hates everyone, dating cookie, insomnia,

Penny (DontTrustMe) - probably had ptsd flashbacks every day, had fought drake before they got their powers, the vine of ‘i so pale’

Quinn Gaither (Pineapples) - dating caine, has a job because is a business woman, embodiment of the lenny face

Roger (the-gay-palette-suits-me-better) - dating the kingTM edilio, needs more stories, @mg give us the angst backstory, just moved to perhidio beach

Sam Temple (GlowStick) - the boi!!!!!, is secretly dating drake and he will give you a black eye if you tell, has issues but who doesn’t

Sanjit Brattle-Chance (cantbevinced) - is dating lana our queen, is trying to be a businessman, babysits on the side

Shade Darby (Parasite) - hhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

Sinder (Black_Roses) - goth bae, ‘i love my goth gf’ memes, likes food gardening over flower gardening,

Taegan Smith (RadioStar) - basically an oc, lets be honest here, had no idea he had kids and is livid that connie never told him, doesn’t know what sam’s stepdad did so upcoming angst is in order

Taylor (goldengirl) - done with sam’s shit at the exact time she is up for sam’s shit, i love her, how could mg hurt her

Tom Peaks (Naplam) - redeemed motherfucker, is the oldest and is ready to fight,

Turk (TheTurkArmy) - human crew, needs a beating, is lowkey ready for a fistfight

Vincent Vu (Patrick) - my son, ‘MG TURN ON YOUR LOCATION I JUST WANNA TALK’, i don’t like how they portray mental illness with monster so uhh we finna fix that

Zil (Z-Baby) - im actually gagging, needs a beating, homophobic, transphobic, racist piece of shit