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Hate is a Strong Word

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‘God, why are you so fat?’

            The voice inside her head was speaking nonsense once again. The brunette ignored it, hoping it was just a passing thought: it would surely vanish soon.

‘What the fuck, you loser. Why aren’t you listening to me?’

            The second thought came just as angrily as the first, catching the young woman off guard. She stopped, looking around. Again, the tormentor of her mind spoke harshly, and the woman was attempting to look past it: don’t give it any attention, it’ll go away.

‘LISTEN YOU STUPID BITCH.’

            Finally, this got the girl’s attention. She looked in the mirror, only catching the reflection of herself glancing back. Her eyes, a soft grey, held sadness in them: a sadness which brewed for many years inside of her. She sighed, stepping toward the mirror, placing a hand on the glass, she watched a shadowy wisp expel from where here skin touched the mirror, and stand behind her.

            “What do you want.” The girl snapped. “I don’t want you around.”

            ‘Well isn’t that just too fuckin’ bad,” The wisp replied, presenting a devilish smirk. “Because you know exactly what time it is, dontcha?”

            “Go away… Please.” She whispered. “Don’t make me smash another mirror… Please.” Her eyes began to well with tears, her hand was slightly trembling, knowing this was how the same old story went between the girl and her beast.

            “Why? Don’t you looove doing it though? You can’t even stand your reflection, I mean look at you!” The shadow moved its claws over the face in the reflection. “I mean really, how could anyone love some piece of shit like you?”

            ‘Stop…’ the girl thought to herself, her free hand balling into a fist, shaking harder.

            “Look at how absolutely ATROCIOUS your body is! I mean really, all that body positivity bullshit you keep trying to sell to yourself? Please!” The wisp trails its dark hands down the reflections sides, following all of the curves, causing the girl to flinch, placing her other hand on the mirror, casting another wisp into the reflection.

            “Oh, is it that time again?” The second shadow spoke, glancing to the other with a coy smile. The girl began to shake harder, tears cascading down her face as she prepared for the worst.

            “Oh, it is!” Chirped the first wisp. “It’s time to make this little bitch hate herself, even more! I was just commenting on how her positive bullshit doesn’t mean anything—“

            “Oh, and how those silly tattoos on her skin are merely reminders of something she wants to believe, but cannot?” The second commented, running its shadowy hands over the ink on the girls skin, chuckling.

            “Exactly! How she can never really love herself because no one REALLY loves her—“

                                                                        SMASH

            The mirror erupted into a thousand shards, blood dripping over the larger pieces on the now broken glass which lay before the girl’s feet. She had pulled her hand back as the two demons were chatting, and slammed her clenched fist right into the reflection before her. Shaking, sobbing, and now bleeding, the brunette blinked hard, crouching to pick up the large shards of glass. She flinched as the pieces tried to cut into her hand, gripping one so hard it caused more dark red liquid to ooze from her palm.

            “Why am I here? What am I doing?” She looked into the bloodied mirror piece, staring at a reddened reflection. Without thinking, the girl raised the sharp glass near her neck, poised as to make a slit from one side to the other. She took a breath, shaking heavily as the knife-like glass tickled the skin, causing her hairs to stand on end.

            “You can’t let them win, you know.”

            She stopped. Releasing the glass, it fell with a small ‘tink’ sound, and the girl began to cry heavily, clenching her pants tightly, trying to stop any more blood.

            “I know this is hard, but you must keep going. For your sake… For everyone’s sake.”

            When the brunette looked down at the bloodied glass, she saw a bright light this time. One who felt like the sun, who did not mean her any pain. She stared at the spectral being, tears falling to the glass shard she was looking into.

            “It’s getting so hard these days… I can’t fight forever.”

            The spirit like creature stepped through the glass shard in the girl’s hand, standing for only a moment before crouching down beside her, rubbing her back. She could feel the girl’s sobs, her cries loud and prominent in the otherwise quiet room.

            “Hush child…” The bright light cooed, holding the brunette tightly in its arms. To the young girl, the beings embrace felt as warm as a summers day, and as comforting as a lovers hug. She wrapped her arms around the bright light, feeling change shape into a more familiar person: someone of which the girl knew so well, and loved so much.

            “I’m so scared, my love.” She cried quietly, burying her face into her lover’s chest, feeling his hands run up and down her back, cooing her, and pressing a kiss on her head.

            “Shh… I am here, baby girl… I’m right here.” The blond responded, holding his significant other tightly. “And I won’t let you go.”