Actions

Work Header

Rugbae

Chapter Text

"Man, it's about time..." With hands clasped behind his head and lithe legs taking leisurely strides in a rather slow manner, the (h/c) haired boy was the picture definition of relaxed. (E/c) orbs roved his surroundings lazily, his lips pursed around a strawberry-flavored sucker as he strolled down the column of lockers, in search of the number indicating which one belonged to him. "That intro ceremony dragged on forever." Uncaring of the odd looks talking to himself seemed to garner, he came to a stop in front of his appointed locker, lip curling in distaste considering it was on the lowest possible row. "This is gonna get old real quick." Heaving a dissatisfied sigh he drops to a crouch in order to switch out his shoes, grumbling to himself about the injustice of giving a bottom locker to someone of his height, a glance off to the side revealing someone having similar difficulties though on the opposite spectrum, a tiny guy straining on the tips of his toes to reach his cubicle which was at the altitude of (F/N)'s desires. Snorting at the sight the male returns his attention to his own problem. "Who's dick do I gotta suck to get something on the top row?..." Morosely he slams the door and rises to his full height of 180 cm, further startling the girl who'd been standing beside him and had given him the most stricken expression at his words. "Ah.." A finger comes up to sheepishly scratch at his cheek as he blinks at her then uneasily shifts his eyes away, cheeks flushing pink. Dealing with girls was never his strong suit, they were always quick to offend and be driven off by his explicit speech and somewhat difficult attitude, coupling that with a severe lack of interest in them led to the tall male always fumbling with how to interact with them. So he simply fell back to his usual go to plan when confronted with the fairer sex-walk away and otherwise ignore her. Rotating on his heel, he attempted to finally make his way out the school, eager to escape this hellhole of boredom though the group of boys huddled in the middle of the hall was proving to be an obstacle of increasing proportions.

"WHO ARE YOU CALLING A SHRIMP!?!"

Sucking intently on his fruity candy, the male swung his bag over a shoulder and regards the commotion in front of him with mild irritation and the slightest of amusement- tiny guy from earlier enacting his righteous midget fury on what seemed to be some dumbass punks whom were painting upperclassmen in a bad light. (E/c) eyes dart between Tiny, the idiots who were feeling the brunt of his anger, and the blonde fucking giant who stood off to the side shivering in his spot, looking on the verge of either passing out or bursting into tears. Poor kid.

Regardless how semi-entertaining watching Tiny give what-for to some annoying jerks was, (F/N) had plans involving him, his couch, and prime cuddle time with his cat while watching the new episode of his favorite soap opera. He opens his mouth, prepared to deliver a scathing remark of some kind when the gigantic blonde seems to spring into motion, snatching up Tiny and running off with a tearful yell of "I'M SORRYYYYYYYYYY!!"

Huh. What a couple of oddballs.

The moronic upperclassmen are left in a state of shock, one of them still on the ground from when Tiny had kicked him down, so the (h/c) haired male takes this chance to leave at long last; and if he took care to shove past them while mercilessly stepping on the fallen guy with an unapologetic coo of "Whoops~", well that was his business and his alone. Ignoring their shouts was easy as he blew a kiss then gracefully strode out the door tittering a cheery farewell.

Upon reaching the outdoors (F/N) stretches, releasing a relieved huff. Leaving that building was much more of an endeavor than it should've been. Though...he turns his head the way the dynamic duo had ran off to (or were carted off to in the case of Tiny). He supposed he could spare a few extra minutes to follow them. At the very least, they were fellow first-years and he needed to befriend somebody; if anything he could take this as a test ride to see whether they were worth the trouble of socializing with or were people he would need to avoid in the coming future.

With a determined nod as a decision was made, he set off to follow their footsteps, not managing to refrain from smirking when he'd eventually caught up and found them on the ground, Tiny releasing even more pent up anger at the blonde giant. Honestly, how could such a small stature could contain such a high concentration of rage.

"I'm... Iwashimizu Sumiaki! I'm in class 1-2!"

As Tiny picks himself up off the ground the blonde gia-no, Iwashimizu, stutters out an introduction much to the (h/c) haired male's surprise. He figured the guy would flee from being on the receiving end of Tiny's harsh words, yet here he was making friends. How cute.

"1-5. Gion."

"And I'm (L/N) (F/N), also in class 1-2. I'm a (starsign), love candy and teriyaki burgers, and enjoy long walks on the beach. My height is 180 cm, weight is classified and if you really wanted to know the length and girth of my dick I'd be more than happy to show you instead of simply telling you~"

Eyes shut as the outspoken male beamed at them with a legit flowery fucking aura, Gion and Iwashimizu were left to gaze at this interloper with varying levels of reactions. Gion attempting to send the boy into the void from the intensity of his glare whereas Iwashimizu resembled a ripe tomato with a gaping mouth.

"Who the fuck are you?"

Pulling the sucker out, (F/N) taps it against his lips as he tuts in disappointment. "Not the sharpest tool in the shed are you, eh Gi-chan? And I just introduced myself too. You can refer to me as 'darling', 'my dear', 'the love of my life', or 'daddy'~ Though if you wanted to be boring, I suppose (F/N)-chan would do." Biting down on the candy with a crunch, he winks at the unamused shorter male and abandons the newly freed stick over his shoulder. fuckinglitterbug. "And I'm your brand spanking new best friend," he remembers then that the timid blonde was still on the ground and reaches out a hand to help the other up, though not without difficulty because fuck despite his height the (h/c) haired boy was all sinewy and rather delicate, slender noodle arms straining as they heave Iwashimizu up, "Yikes, you're heavy Iwashi-chan." The faint questioning "Iwashi-chan?" goes unanswered as (F/N) brushes off any dirt from the taller male and then pats his arm with a more subdued smile. "You too Iwashi-chan, if we're going to be classmates then we should get to know each other anyways, ne? So why not kick it up into high drive and be besties~?" (F/N)'s shy counterpart seems to flounder with how to respond before slowly nodding, sparing a hesitant smile and quiet "Sure, (L/N)-kun. It's nice to meet you too" as (F/N) cheers and pat his arm several more times, "It's (F/N), Iwashi-chan! (F/N)!"

"Good, you can be his friend and leave me alone, creep." Gion scoffs as he begins walking off. Together (F/N) and Iwashimizu make eye contact and exchange shrugs, one's blasé and the other's uncertain, before following the small brunette.

The two trail a few steps behind Gion until he turns back, thick brows furrowed as he snarls "Stop following me you overgrown weirdos!!"

"Th-The front gate is this way!"

"Ne ne, I'm just trying to go home so I can watch my soaps Gi-chan, don't be so egotistical and think my life revolves around you~"

"AND STOP CALLING ME GI-CHAN!!"        

"By the way...Gi-chan, will you switch lockers with me? Mine sucks."

"DON'T IGNORE ME DAMMIT!"

Chapter Text

"You know...When you grabbed me, it made me think..." Gion starts as they all walk towards the front gates.

"That you'd enjoy Iwashi-chan grabbing you more often?"

"Shut the hell up you creep," Gion swings his bag into (F/n)'s gut, drawing out an "oomph!" and what looked like an attempt to maintain his mischievous grin with little success, "It made me think. Giants like you sure have a great view. You can do anything you want." There is a slight pause, everything silent as Iwashimizu seems to ponder over Gion's words, Gion sulks over his height crisis and (F/n) manages to regain his breath....before all shit breaks loose.

"IT REALLY PISSES ME OFF!!"
"AH!"
"WHAT DO YOU EAT TO GET SO HUGE!!?"

Shooting up like a rocket Gion's got a firm grip on Iwashimizu's collar, shaking the other boy like a ragdoll while managing to keep himself aloft enough to manage some sort of stomping motion against the taller's chest. It would be impressive if (F/n) wasn't beginning to worry for Iwashimizu's life. Now he simply needed to find some way to dislodge the blonde without incurring any physical violence against his own person... He dropped his bag and rolled up his sleeves, mentally sending a prayer to whatever higher power was there- if he died in his rescue attempt, he bequeathed everything to his cat Momocchi, requested all his porn go into flames and that his father would have his funeral be open-casket and that he'd be nude; everyone would look upon his corpse and see what they missed out on and go through their life always wondering about what could have been.

"HOW MANY LITERS OF MILK DO YOU DRINK A DAY!?"
"M-MY FAMILY DRINKS MOSTLY BARLEY TEA!"

He should really step in about now, the (h/c) haired male supposed, Iwashimizu seemed on his very last threads.

"Then I should drink barley tea!?"
"N-No, I think milk would be better..."

Like. Really (F/n). Step in.

"What the hell? Are you making fun of me!?"

It was now (F/n)'s time to give himself up for the good of Iwashimizu, rest in pieces.

"Maa, maa~ Gi-chan, I think it's safe to assume Iwashi-chan wouldn't make fun of anyone. That's probably his equivalent of kicking puppies- a thing no one should do, ergo he'll never make fun of someone!" Waving his hands as if striving to stave off any further anger, the (h/c) haired sacrificial lamb stepped forward, sweating when Gion relinquished Iwashimizu and let the giant fall on his ass and turned as if he was a predator who'd just discovered much more enticing prey.

"I died a hero dad," Is all (F/n) can think before he receives a harsh kick to the shin that manages to topple him down to one knee and apparently at the ample height for Gion to grab him in a chokehold. "Don't think I forgot about you, you beanpole! If he's got barley tea whats your secret?! All those pervy thoughts go straight to your legs to make you grow??"

"T-The only thing my thoughts go to and make grow is my di-gkk!" The unfortunate victim to a Napoleon Complex steadily pales as well as simultaneously turning blue as Gion's prettybeefy arms tighten around his neck. (F/n) slaps at the arms imprisoning him and then the ground in some indication that he's tapping out and ready to admit defeat. Or he's dying. Could go either way.

"Everyone always makes fun of me just 'cuz I'm short!" With one last squeeze as if to emphasize his point, he lets the half-dead male go, sparing no sympathy when the (h/c) male gasps greedily at the sudden reappearance of oxygen and repeatedly mumbles "I almost died a virgin.." He snatches up his bag and begins to grumpily storm off, still monologue-ing.

"I still wear kid sizes!"

stomp.

"I'm not popular with the girls!"

stomp stomp.

"And creepy old guys are always approaching me!!"

surprise surpise, more stomping.

 

Despite the constant threats against their livelihood, the two humanoid towers with apparently no semblance of self-preservation gather their things and follow after the ranting brunette. "No one takes me seriously, just because I'm small. That's why I hate guys like you who're as tall as an Udo plant!"

 

"Gi-chan, that's height-ist!" Whereas Iwashimizu seems to have the beginnings of some condoling expression his exuberant counterpart whines indulgently, "I can't control DNA, if you're going to get angry at anyone, get mad at my parents; they're the ones who are the reason for this perfect specimen you see before you!"

"(L-L/n)-kun...perhaps you shouldn't rile him up..."

"It's (F/n), Iwashi-chan!"

"Every time you speak I have the uncontrollable urge to deck you."

"You seem to do that even without me giving you a reason Gi-chan."

"Oh now you're asking for i-"

It seems the lively trio is forever destined to be sent to the ground, the unforeseen shout of "IWASHIMIZU!!" ringing through the air like some ill omen right before imminent bodies-meet-ground when a random, hefty guy tackles the blonde creating a sort of domino effect where the first-years fall from tallest to smallest, ultimately crushing a certain shrimp with the bad luck of being at the bottom of his much larger compatriots. ""Whaddya think you're doing going home already?!"

"H-Hachioji-senpai!!!!"

"Dear whatever deity is out there, this is not what I meant when I asked to be sandwiched between cute boys."

"Did you have another growth spurt? I didn't expect to see you here. Good to see another buddy from middle school!...Huh?" The casual obtruder finally seems to catch a clue about his unintended dogpile, Gion trying to squirm his way to freedom and a (s/c) arm helplessly claws at the ground.

"WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU DOING?!" In true Gion fashion, the slight cool down period from earlier is reduced to nothing as he erupts from the pile, sending all others flying.

"Yikes! Did you just give birth?!"

"ARE YOU AN IDIOT?!"

"Iwashi-chan, I think you guys flattened my butt. And maybe crushed a rib or four."

"Sorry (L/n)-kun..."

"(F/n)!"

The addition to their now quartet, Hachioji, sits up and regards the two unfamiliar boys sheepishly, rubbing the back of his neck, "Sorry. I thought Iwashimizu had given birth to twins or something. Thought I'd become a midwife, though I suppose you two couldn't possibly be twins."

"That's the only thing that's impossible?"

"QUIT FOOLING AROUND!"

Hachioji laughs and offers an apologetic smile, "Sorry. Are you two freshman too?"

Gion settles, still visibly irked but no longer shouting ("For the moment," (F/n) internally sighed) as he rises forthemillionthtime "My name's Gion Kenji!"

"Just call me (F/n), senpai~"

"Gion-kun and (F/n)-kun then. Good timing! Wanna come with Iwashimizu to see our club?"

Gion sends his upperclassman an incredulous look, pointing up at the subject of interest as if to say 'seriously? This guy?' "You guys were in a club together?"

"Huh? He didn't tell you?"

"Senpai, we literally all met like ten minutes ago, I'm skilled but that's not enough time to wrangle a life story from someone unless they're heavily intoxicated or under torturous interrogation."

"Ha! I suppose that's a good point."

"Uh..well.." Iwashimizu began, eyes directed downward as the loaded words fall from his lips, "Rugby..."

.....

"What's rugby?"

The four males stand at the chain-link fence overlooking a field with several players occupying it presently, Gion staring with a looked of absolute consternation as Iwashimizu flinches in shock and spins to gape him incredulously. "Huh?! You don't even know that much?!"

"Iwashi-chan...Is that the one where you score baskets? I'm not seeing any hoops..."
 
"Ah....that would be basketball (L/n)-kun.."

"(F/n)."

"Idiot, even I know that much! AND ITS IN THE NAME! 'BASKET'BALL!!"

"Uwah, Gi-chan, you're yelling again. I weep for your innocent vocal chords, how are they intact?"

"I'LL SHOW YOU INTACT YOU SMUG PIECE OF SH-"

Hachioji laughs once again, cutting off Gion's tirade. "Total newbies, eh?" He swings open the gate to enter the enclosed area, shutting it and beginning to slip off his jacket as he glances over his shoulder, "You can show them the ropes, Iwashimizu."

Gion's fingers cling to the chain-links as he kicks at the fence, "Don't get the wrong idea! I just came here to watch!! I'm not gonna join your club!!"

"Ah, does that mean I can call you sensei then, Iwashi-chan~?"

"That's fine, too. But Gion-kun," Hachioji makes eye contact with the belligerent brunette, his face serious despite the smile, "Rugby's a lot of fun. Once you start, You'll never forget it." Iwashimizu looks stricken while Gion's interest peaks, "And in this game. Anyone can be a star player."

"...A star...?"

"Ooh~" (F/n) hums in curiosity, mirroring Gion in his attentiveness.

"Anyways, just watch alright?" With a jaunty wave the elder male jogs off to join his teammates. Gion slides back down to his feet, his brows furrowed in thought as he seems to digest Hachioji's little mini-speech."

"Hey, Udo. Tell me the rules."

"Yes Iwashi-sensei, share your knowledge with us lowly dimwits!"

"Speak for yourself, you moron!"


"Huh? Oh...sure..!"

The players begin lining up in some form (F/n) can't even begin to comprehend, all still before the kickoff of the ball ("What's with it? How come it isn't round?" "You don't even know that?!" "Senseeeei, he only just now found out what rugby is, give his stupidity some slack~" "I will end you.") acts like some starting gun, the guys busting out into motion.

"Hm, guess they're practicing the formation.."

(E/c) eyes covet the sight of muscles and thick bodies incased in tight shirts and shorts that cling high on the legs, drinking in the lovely vision that was apparently rugby, before darting to pay attention to the flying ball, watching it with amazement as it arcs through the air before landing in some boy's hands, proceeding to act like some honing beacon as everyone shifts focus on the receiver.

"Are the rules sorta like soccer?"

"Y-Yeah. There's a goal on each end and you just grab the ball and run."

"Oh! So its like if soccer and American football had a baby, it'd be rugby!"

Gion casts the (h/c)ette a judgemental raise of a brushy brow, "You know those two, but you don't know basketball? You really are dumb."

"Gi-chan, you're cute but I will crush you~" The flowery aura makes its appearance again as (F/n) looms over the shorter male with a sickeningly sweet smile, "And what will you do then? You'll be tinier than you are now~"

"Wanna come down and say that to my face?"

"That's much too low for me. Haven't you heard of picking on someone your own size?"

"You won't be laughing when I break those skinny twigs you call legs."

Despite what (F/n) had said, he was leaning down drastically, the two bumping foreheads as lightning clashed from their gazes locked on one another's. Iwashimizu is left to fluster and try to diffuse the situation with shaky pleas that don't reach their ears. The loud FWUMP of the guy handling the ball getting tackled and basically obliterated distracts Gion enough that he abruptly pulls away to watch players plunge to the ground harshly whereas without the pressure against his head keeping him up, (F/n) flails before faceplanting in the dirt.

"He just bodyslammed him! Is that allowed!?"

Glancing worryingly at his befallen height-kin, Iwashimizu is visibly relieved the minor argument is derailed by Gion's small attention span. "That's just the kind of sport it is. You use your whole body to gain control of the ball. Big guys like me have an advantage. I got scouted in middle school..."

The third member of their party pops back up next to the blonde giant, pout in place and dirt strewn across his nose and cheeks, "You're so cold Iwashi-chan, leaving me to my fate."

 

"S-Sorry...."

 

"It looks like fun."

 

The two trees blink simultaneously and look over at their companion. "B-But rugby c-can also be a really dangerous sport..!" Iwashimizu stutters, ostensibly trying to enact some dissuasion to little to no avail, the brunette gazing at the pileup of players in a reminiscent manner.

"My dad and my brother are both big guys. I'm the only short one. So when we fought, I always got knocked out. If I could steal the ball from big guys like that," He watches one player attempt to break away with the ball only to have three others reduce him to a pancake in seconds with yearning, "I bet it'd feel really good. But.. they really are all huge aren't they? If I joined... I'd just be in the way."

"That's not true." Iwashimizu interjects, gentle smile warming his face, "There are a lot of big guys, but that's not all you need. There's big guys and small guys; fat guys and skinny guys. They're all ramming into each other. There's no ace striker, no #4 batter," they watch as the pile of humans moves and ripples as everyone shoves and pushes against each other before untangling from the mess is a rather small male, the ball clutched victoriously in his grasp, "Whoever has the ball is the star." No other words are exchanged as Gion watches, star struck and (F/n) claps Iwashimizu's back good-naturedly, chiming a cheery "Nice speech there sensei, very inspiring!" that makes the timid blonde turn a bright pink.  

A whistle blows, drawing the team's practice to a close and Hachioji wanders back over to the trio, wiping at his face with a towel as he gives an appreciative wave, "Hey, thanks for watching. What did you guys think?"

"That...was pretty fun!" Gone is the perpetual look of grumpiness from the shrimp's face, instead an excited grin lighting it up brightly.

"Ah, it was certainly interesting.." (F/n) laughs awkwardly and scratches his cheek guiltily, he'd paid more attention to the boys themselves than the actual gameplay...but really, sweaty guys in shorts and lots of body contact between them, who could blame him?

"Oh yeah? Good to hear." He gazes down at Gion thoughtfully, "You're a little on the small side... so maybe scrum half. Or winger, since you seem light on your feet...Gion-kun, wanna join the rugby club?"

The younger pauses before letting out a smug "heh" as he straightens up to his notverynotable  full height, jabbing a proud thumb into his chest. "Wellll. If you're gonna beg, I can't say no," He tilts his head up in a purely challenging way, "I'll blow anyone away!!"

"Pft, likely story.."

"Well, that's reassuring! That kind of cheek is just what we need!"

"Careful what you wish for senpai, or you might just find yourself eating those words~"

"Ignoring you. Alright Udo! You can teach me all-"

"No." The interruption is surprising to the other three, leaving them resembling fish as their mouths open and shut, "I'm...not joining the club."

"Huh?"

Why not?!"

"Iwashi-chan.."

Iwashimizu spares them a pained smile and helpless shrug, muttering a soft apology and farewell before walking off leaving them to stare uncomprehendingly.

"He does realize he's going the wrong way, right?"

He doesn't. A few moments later he reappears shamefully, seeming retain the mindset of "if I don't look at them, they won't register my blunder and this awkward moment won't exist" as he avoids looking over, shoulders hunched up to his ears.

Hachioji frowns, Gion glares and (F/n) purses his lips as the three are stuck looking at one another, feeling a little lost at the rejection.



"...well don't look at me. I'm built like a delicate flower, 5 seconds out there and I'd snap in two; and all that sweating would be bad for my complexion."

 

 

 


~Dumbass Omake~

"Ne, Gi-chan, If Iwashi-chan gets to be Udo, I want a cute nickname too!"

"I don't think he meant it to be cute..."

"Shush now Iwashi-chan, fair is fair~"

"Haah? You want a nickname? Fine fine, just stop whining you bigass baby."

"It's the next step in our quest to become besties. I gave nicknames, now you give me one. Ooh, don't think you're getting out of it either Iwashi-chan! It's either (F/n) or you get creative~"

"Ah..but (L/n)-kun.."

"Bzzt! Incorrect!"

"Hentai."

"..."

"!!"

"There. Enjoy your new nickname bestie."

"Gion-kun, that's a little.."

"I knew you liked me! You admitted I'm your bestie-to-be! Ahh, I need to mark this in my calendar so I'll remember on our anniversary~!"

"...."

 

 

 

 

Chapter Text



"You know," (F/n) mused to himself as he lay sprawled out on the ground, "I could swear at some point I said that I wasn't made for the active lifestyle."


"Then get lost hentai, I don't recall ever inviting you in the first place." Gion grouches as he digs around the equipment shed, Iwashimizu standing awkwardly off to the side.

"Uh...What exactly are we doing here Gion-kun...?"


"Perhaps he's really lost it and drew us out here to murder us?" (F/n) rolls to lie on his stomach, propping up his head with a fist as he regards his short compatriot suspiciously, "Though there are too many witnesses around for him to be successful...then again I think its been established Gi-chan's intelligence level is as low as his stature."

"Do you have a death wish??"

A tackle dummy is launched at the (h/c) haired teen who shrieks at an earsplitting frequency as he scrambles up and behind Iwashimizu, "No! I claim sanctuary!"

"Tch, idiot," the brunette scoffs as he retrieves the tackle dummy and instead shoves it into the blonde giant's hands, "Here!"

"Ah! W-What...?!"


"What's it look like Udo? I'm gonna tackle the hell outta you!"


"Huh..!?"
"Wahhh, how kinky~"


"Th-This is so sudden! Why..?"

Iwashimizu's pleas are ignored as Gion charges at him with all the mindset of a raging bull, a dark grin shadowing his face forebodingly, "Shut up!!"  

"Ah!" With all the grace of a baby giraffe Iwashimizu dodges to the side, nearly missing Gion but spelling out the doom of the person who'd been clinging to him.

"Shit Gi-chaaaan!" Thin form no match for Gion's compact musculature, (F/n) is sent rolling head over heels in manner that would seem comical to onlookers. "Gah, why is it like getting hit by a bus..? You're the size of an elementary student!" The befallen teen cries dramatically with his face buried in the ground, dulcet voice muffled by pain and good heap of dirt.

"Whoops." Gion spares him an idle shrug before turning to give the cowardly blonde a miffed glare and sigh, "And you. Don't run away. If you run, you'll get hurt."

"I think I'm the only one getting hurt in this scenario Gi-chan," an aggrieved huff comes from a certain whiny baby as he struggles to his feet, releasing a cacophony of ouches under his breath.

"Now give that back!" And once again the dummy is in Gion's grasp ((F/n) grumbles that if he snatches up the thing so much he should stop forcing it on other people) as he braces himself in front of the blonde, "We're not getting anywhere. It's your turn to tackle."

"I.."
"Dude, crush that fucking shrimp, avenge me."
"I can't!" 
A disappointed whine is drawn out.
"For one thing, I'm way bigger than you! Plus you're inexperienced. You'll get hurt for sure.."

"I won't run." With all the bravado of an anime main character, Gion's eyes bore into Iwashimizu's, "So I won't get hurt. I swear I won't!!"

Despite his bravado, the timid giant remains unrelenting. Of course that's when his tiny opposite brings up the tender subject of Iwashimizu's dark past middle school friend's injury at the accidental hands of the blonde himself.

"Only weaklings get hurt."
"...what the fuck Gi-chan, could you be any more tactless?!"

Needless to say the shit-talker gets his desired results when he's totally mowed down.

"...damn." (F/n) wanders over to stand beside a stricken Iwashimizu, smirking down at the flattened brunette. "Iwashi-chan's cute looks are a façade hiding a beast..."
"Ah, no, I didn't mean-! Gi-Gion-kun...!"

"That HURT!"
And oddly enough Gion bursts into laughter, making the remaining two of this clusterfuck of a trio question his sanity.
"That was fun!!"

"....huh?"
"Iwashi-chan, you've created a masochist..." 

"Rugby's...really fun!!"

Theres a pause as Iwashimizu stares down at down at the exuberant shorty, who was taking too much pleasure from being bowled over, lips trembling as he's moved to tears by whatever it is that was running through his mind "...yeah."

"...okay, are you two having a moment here because I'm totally lost." A sigh, "I'll never understand jocks and their obsession with beating each other up."

"Let me help you then, hentai," Gion shakily rises with a shark-like grin and then just like that, (F/n) finds himself in possession of the tackle dummy, "I'll show you how fun beating each other up really is!" And then the perverted teen is once again shrieking like a little girl as he runs with great difficulty under the weight of the dummy too dumb to drop it and escape with a cackling Gion hot on his heels.

"The only time I ever want to be under you is in bed Gi-chaaaan!"
"Fat. Chance!"
"You'll break my delicate bones!"
"Is that supposed to convince me to stop??"
"Iwashi-chan heeeeeeeeelp!"

Stuttering the aforementioned giant hesitates, wanting to help but not wanting to come between the vindictive shrimp and the source of his torment. "Um..."

"Stop running, hentai! Take it like a man!"
"I don't wanna be taking it under these circumstances Gi-chan!"



+++one minor ass-kicking later+++

The first-year trio trundles into McDonald's, garnering curious looks at their mismatched appearances-the tiny brunette who looked like the cat who ate the canary and the roughed-up looking pretty-boy weeping theatrically as the hulking blonde doted on him fretfully.

The cashier eyes the group with clear trepidation before plastering on a wavering smile, "How may I help you?"

"100 teriyakis."
"100 teriyakis with a side of your number!"
"You can't eat that much, one is enough! And (L/n)-kun, d-don't harass him...!"

"...." The cashier can only hang his head and wish he'd called in sick today.

+

Chomping noisily on his burger (F/n) squints at Gion, "Sho whad broughd up your shudden tackle practish?"
"(L/n)-kun, please swallow first.."
"Shorry~"

Gion tackles his own meal with mirrored gusto, though has the sense to not talk with his mouth full as he answers, "The team captain used a tackle on me and totally sent me flying! It was cool, so I wanted to try it!"

"Hmm~" The ill-mannered teen swallows his food this time as he tilts his head shrewdly, "Totally wiped out by the captain huh..." (E/c) eyes scan Iwashimizu intently before they gleam with a mischievous light, "Is he big like Iwashi-chan?~"

"Un?" Gion raises a thick brow and shrugs uncaringly, "I guess?"

"So we've got Iwashi-chan, Hachi-senpai, and now a captain who has no problem sending Gi-chan flying and is apparently a big boy as well...~" An ominous and elongated 'heh' leaves (F/n)'s lips as he recalls how the rugby team looked when the trio had watched in on their practice, "I think....Yes, that'll do juuuuuust nicely~"

"(L/n)-kun, what...is so funny?" Iwashimizu looks hesitant to ask, grimacing in worry as Gion sends the oddly behaving boy his own glare of suspicion. 

"Ah, nothing at all Iwashi-chan! Don't worry your pretty head! Eat up, you two have a very important day to prepare for after all!"

Somehow his deflecting wasn't reassuring in the least...

Chapter Text

"Sachiko is such a bitch," (F/N) crams a handful of popcorn into his mouth with his eyes riveted by the drama he was watching, flanked by the fat, fluffy mass of orange that was his beloved Momocchi, "Kei should've dumped her ass as soon as he found out she was pregnant. How the fuck do you forget you're impotent?" He spares the cat a disbelieving look, garnering a rumbly meow that he treats as an actual response to his ranting. "Exactly. Well put Momocchi! That dirtbag Akio definitely deserves her, they should just run off with their scummy affair-child and save everyone the trouble of dealing with their crap." He shakes his head and scoffs, lifting the bowl to his lips to guzzle down more of his snack in a show of gluttony.

 

A large, callused hand reaches from behind him to pluck the bowl from his grasp much to the gorging teen's displeasure. He tips his head back to scowl up at the hulking mass of muscle and sweat looking blankly back down at him.

 

"What the fuck pops??"

 

(L/N) Yuudai is a mountain of a man, thick and burly, easily towering over everyone with either his height or intimidating presence. His salt-and-pepper hair is cut short and adorned with a surprisingly feminine floral patterned bandana, and with sharp golden eyes stare deep into the souls of whoever dare meeting his gaze head on and a strong, stubble-dusted jaw that looks like it could break concrete-it's not surprising that he's in his element working construction, every inch of him seems to project that hard labor is of no consequence for him. Compared to his willowy twig of a son, there is not much resemblance between the two; without looking closely its hard to even imagine their connection to one another, however the heated glare pasted on both their faces is almost a carbon copy of each other- while they may not have shared many similar features it seemed pissy expressions were hereditary.  

The father and son stare down holds, neither backing down from the unspoken challenge of stubbornness.

 

(F/N) screeches in pain when his dad suddenly ducks down, ruthlessly head-butting him then walking off eating his spoils of war, "Watch your mouth, you little shit."

 

"You're such a hypocrite, you dickhead!!" (F/N) wails, cradling his face as he falls to the side, "You probably ruined my face, how am I supposed to show up to school now?!"

 

"Cripes kid, can't ruin what's already beyond help." Yuudai is not affected by the melodramatic display, overreactions are typical coming from his son and he's developed the special skill of "ignore your child when he's being a dumbass" which seems to be something he employs often. He finishes up his stolen snack as the drama queen in question rolls around and throw a tantrum, cat and father looking upon (F/n) in stone-faced detachment. Typical day in the (L/n) household.

 

The middle-aged man lets out a particularly disgusting belch and scratches his ass, shaking his head with a sigh as he drops the bowl into the sink and lumbers over to plop down beside his offspring, ignoring the pointed "You're such a pig, pops!" thrown at him.

"Your hissy fit over already? Must be a new record." Yuudai grunts as he leans back in the leather cushions, "What shit is goin' on this week? Doctor Fujikawa dead yet?"

The younger male sniffs imperiously and sits up, kicking his feet into his father's side to get him to shove over a little for more room as he settles back in his previous spot. "Don't be silly, they can't kill off the most attractive piece of eye candy on the show. This episode is focusing on the wicked bitch of the west and her flying monkey who she's having a mutant baby with; if anything they're the ones who should perish in a fiery and dramatic death." The conversation falls silent as father and son focus on watching the train wreck that is this week's soap opera episode, one significantly more drawn in the attempt of a storyline than the other-almost sitting at the edge of his seat as he clutches a pillow to his chest and remaining so until the ending credits advertising 'Til next time!'.

"Damn it, can't believe Kei took that slattern back! Obviously he's wrong in the head, his taste in romantic prospects is completely questionable! Ah, but Doctor Fujikawa was as gorgeous as ever~ Almost completely makes up for the shit fest that is Kei's love life." (F/n) borderline squeals as he smooshes his face into the pillow and wiggles around. He stills suddenly, he seems to think particularly hard over something from beneath his cottony cover before tossing it aside carelessly. "What do you think about rugby, pops?" The change in topic is a whiplash, but coming from someone whose attention jumps from point to point at the drop of a hat, isn't completely unexpected.

"Rugby? Where the hell did that come from?" Dark brows furrow in vexation before the man takes the time to think over the question, "Don't really know anything about it, wasn't ever relevant for me."
Golden eyes squint suspiciously at the other, "Since when are you interested in rugby, much less a sport of any kind? Last time I tried to get you involved in athletics, you ended up crying in the middle of the game because people would pass the ball to you and we left early-that was the end of your future sports career I entertained in my thoughts for like 2.5 seconds."

"It's not really an interest, per say..." Fingers twiddle aimlessly with a loose string from his shirt. "I made some friends, or well," he shrugs idly, "acquaintances I guess, technically. And they're probably going to join the school's rugby team; Gi-chan for sure and I have no doubt he's gonna wrangle Iwashi-chan into changing his mind and joining as well. There's no snowball's chance in hell I'd actually join as an athlete." He shudders as if the word was something unsavory.

"But?"

"I'm contemplating my involvement in a different manner."

"........"
A blank look is adopted on Yuudai's face, "Why do I get the feeling you have ulterior motives that mainly entails ogling those boys rather than actually bein' any help to them." It's not a question but a statement fueled by the awareness of the type of person his offspring was.

"Haha, you know me so well, it's almost like you've known me all my life~"

"Moron."

"Rude! Anyways!" (F/n) sighs dreamily, "Just the thought of getting up close and personal with sweaty, muscled hunks regularly..."
"Oi...There's some shit that goes on in your mind I don't wanna be privy to, reign it down."
"I'm just saying!" A hand waves away the complaints lackadaisically, "I'm contemplating my options and trying to decide whether or not its worth it in the long run. (F/n) the manager has a nice ring to it eh? Hand out water bottles, accidentally get myself wet the day I coincidentally wear white..."
"(F/n)."
"Alright, alright! Everybody's a critic, sheesh..."

Yuudai shakes his head, "Will you ever get a handle on those hormones of yours? Shit kid, you give 21 year old partiers a run for their money on the thirst scale."

"..."

"..."

".......dad." (E/c) eyes peer up judgmentally, "Don't ever say 'thirst' in that context again; you're like 20 years too old for that kinda lingo, you're embarrassing yourself-mmpf!" Lanky limbs flail as a large, callused palm presses down on (F/n)'s face.

"You know what? They can have you. In fact, tell them to keep you after school as long as they want."


+++


And with what basically was a green light to do whatever the hell he wanted, (F/n) paced impatiently on the sidelines as he eyed his fellow first years lining up to introduce themselves to the team, each of them dressed in gym-wear duh which only meant he stood out with his Juicy sweatpants and glasses that were in no shape or form prescription. ("They make me look dignified and intelligent!" he declared pompously over breakfast; safe to say a certain put upon father was not convinced. "Don't think I didn't see what you tried to sneak into your bag to wear later. Your ass will literally be bedazzled with the word 'Juicy', dignified leaves the building the minute you put on those eye sores.")

"Nice to meet you!!"

Gion is predictably overt and deafness-inducing and (F/n) doesn't even attempt to stifle his snicker, wiggling his fingers cheekily when the shrimp nearly breaks his neck to glare at him with an aura that just reeks with the feeling of 'what the fuck are you doing here??'

It's the appearance of the third year stepping forward that seals the deal for the perverted teen that he definitely needs an in on this rugby thing, eyes shamelessly roving the other's built figure- the, frankly weird as fuck, haircut doesn't diminish his looks at all, (F/n) would almost consider it cute if not a little questionable.

"I'm your captain, Sekizan Takuya. Nice to meet you."

"Wahh~~ Definitely an 11 outta 10..." (F/n) fanboys to himself and pats himself on the back for this genius plan of his. 

As the first years are prodded to give their names, experience and position (F/n) decides to throw caution to the wind and steps in to join the line, playfully leaning against a nerve-wracked Iwashimizu after the last of his peers presents themselves, smiling coquettishly and peering up at the dreamy captain through his lashes. 
"Seki-seeeenpai~ don't forget about me~"

"Ah, (F/n)-kun!" Hachioji smiles and cocks his head curiously, "Changed your mind about joining as well then?"

"Fuu~ Not exactly!" A finger is tapped against his cheek in a cutesy manner as the (h/c) haired male snickers, "I'm (L/n) (F/n), this is my first time so go easy on me~" The wink is an unnecessary tidbit to drive the entendre home, as if his tone wasn't obvious enough, "As for positions, I'm open to anything~"
Gion gazes up into the sky as if questioning his existence and Iwasimizu seems to be experiencing a case of secondhand embarrassment as he buries his face into his hands.

"Teehee, just kidding~" (F/n) flashes a victory sign and sticks out a tongue ("Did he really just say 'teehee' in an actual conversation? I knew I should've run from this hentai as soon as I saw him.") "I'm here for more of a managerial position! Gotta support my besties Gi-chan and Iwashi-chan in whatever way I can after all!"

The purposeful name dropping binds the troublesome teen to the other two and the mismatched trio becomes official in the eyes of everyone present.



"I hate you."
"Gi-chan, your tsundere-ness is showing!"