Actions

Work Header

It's a matter of trust

Work Text:

This is the moment she knows that she loves him:

"You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something; I don't know.

But we are getting ahead of ourselves; lets start at the beginning.

 

 

Once there was a girl named Veronica, and she lost her best friend in a flash of blood, chlorine and grief.

After, she stood by her dad; picked the side that she knew she couldn't live without. And to her own amazement, when everyone dropped her like a bad penny, Logan stayed. And stayed. And stayed.

 

 

Four weeks after Lilly's death she accepted that he is not going away.

 

 

Five weeks after that, her dad is out of one job and starting a new one. Nothing is quiet anymore and as her parents fight, she seeks solace in Logan's company. He is a steady presence in her life, and she needs that. She craves the normality she has lost and the friends she used to have.

 

 

Three days later, he woke her up in a strange bed after Shelly Pomroy's party, dried her tears and spent one night in lockup after punching Sheriff Lamb.

(This was the point when she actually believed he wouldn't leave.)

 

 

Six weeks after that, her mum is gone. Logan holds her tight and she can feel herself relax into his arms. He's soft and strong at the same time, but when she feels her heartstrings tugging, she pulls herself out of it and stands on her own. When she's not even good enough for her own mother, how will she be good enough to deserve love from others? She wants to hit something, but doesn't. She wants to find her mum, but doesn't. She wants to feel the wind in her hair, wants to run away, but she doesn't. The hero is the one who stays.

(And if she lets a few tears escape her eyes, Logan doesn't mention it. After all, he knows what it's like to be disappointed by a parent.)

 

 

Seven weeks after her mum leaves, eleven weeks after Shelley Pomroy's party and 20 weeks after Lilly's death, she kisses Logan for the first time.

Before, she used to believe in fairy tales, in happily ever after. That's not what they have now. But what they do have is a partnership, someone who will always have their back. It's not easy; it's never easy and they fight as much now as they did before. But it's worth it. It's worth it in all the ways that prove she is not alone.

They are in this together.

 

 

 

At one point she will think she couldn't have done any of it without Logan.

Even later she will realize that that is not exactly true. He helped, sure, but she would have managed. Veronica Mars, she is discovering, can do almost anything. She is stronger than she ever thought possible and isn't that the biggest fucking irony you ever saw? Just when everything went to hell she figured out what she was really made of.

(But she knows that she would give it all up, would take it all away for a chance to be that girl again, to see Lilly's smile or to feel the naive love of youth.)

When everyone turned their back on her, Logan stayed. And that's the reason she knows she can trust herself to love him now. That is not the reason she loves him, of course, but she has found that love is a flighty emotion. Built upon the glint in his eyes. The way he smirks, the way he holds her close and the way he looks at her when they are alone. Trust, however, trust is something different, something solid. And something she doesn't do much of anymore.

Trust is something infinitely more powerful than love.

 

 

 

This one time she tries to put her relationship with Logan into words to Wallace. It is only three weeks since she cut him down from the flagpole, three weeks since he sat down at her table, since he met Logan and she can tell that he doesn't understand.

But the point is that she tries. She tries, but after a minute she sort of fizzles out and she doesn't say anything else, doesn't want to give anything more to this person that she is starting to regard as a friend. She can see in his face that he doesn't get it. So instead she drives home and ponders the fact that she cares so much about what Wallace thinks. She had thought herself beyond caring what everyone else said about her, but he has a way of getting through all the defenses she has built up, and she doesn't know if she should even care.

(She knows he will leave, because they all leave. So she keeps her secrets to herself.)

 

 

 

 

Two weeks after that, she and Wallace are in her apartment sprawled out on the couch. The only source of light is from the tv as the end credits of the crappy movie they have been watching rolls over them.

"I get it now, you know." He doesn't look at her, just keeps his eyes half closed. "You and Logan; you're a team."

She doesn't say anything, she doesn't need to. She just smiles and knows this is why he gets by her defenses: He gets her. He is the first one in a while that wants to be her friend. And she is not in a position to throw that away.

 

 

 

This is the moment she knows that she loves him:

"You have a problem with Veronica, you leave. Actually, you have a problem with Veronica, you're pretty much dead to me, so just, like, evaporate or something; I don't know.

 

She might have lost a lot, but at least she has her new family: she has the best dad in the world. She has a best friend she would do anything for. And she has a boyfriend she loves. Whatever the future holds, she knows she can get through it with them on her side.

You know what they say: Veronica Mars, she's a fucking marshmallow.