It has been an amazing gig so far. The crowd had been fantastic. I had a great view of the stage and the energy-laden people in front of me!
... One with the crowd!
I had laughed with strangers, had raised my glass in honour of the band with fans, had waved to friends from a far who I hadn't seen in a while!
I loved concerts.
The music, the crowd, the singing along, the clapping for encore, the screams of support and love and the absolute submersion in the music, which an mp3 on your iPod just could not replace.
Everyone was in a great mood; the band was at their best. I had loved the playlist and now, after the entire hall had been dipped into this majestic dark blue light that makes you feel like you are a small part of all space and time, yet like the center of the universe at the same time, I could hear my favourite song starting to come from the speakers.
I could not only hear it! I felt it! I loved that song. I cannot even tell you why. It is one of those songs that, when you had heard for the very first time, you made a connection with. It was not a special moment for me - it was just that - my song! And I knew before anyone else and lifted my arms into the blue darkness of the room - with everyone for once being calm and just enjoying the play of the lights on peoples bodies, faces and the walls. The view from above must have been breathtaking.
I closed my eyes and just ... felt the room while the music was getting louder and everyone started to recognize the song. I enjoy those moments- alone in the crowd, yet united with everyone because we are all there for the same reason... but I am taking this one moment for myself! Just me!
I hear the singer take in a breath "You were standing with your girlfriends in the street. Falling back on forever, I wonder what you came to be."
My arms start moving with the music, a big smile on my face. My song, this crowd, this concert. What a wonderful night!
"Miss Atomic Bomb..." - and I open my eyes. Just looking at the band on stage and looking at /them/ talking it all in! How amazing /they/ must feel, when /I/, down here in the masses, am already having the time of my life!
I can hear myself singing along, feel my lips forming the words without even thinking about them. My Song.
And then I start turning away from stage - looking into the crowd for when the song really kicks off and the room becomes so alive. I enjoy that - I am weird that way.
I get as far as turning half way - and I never thought a small moment could turn into forever like it did just then. Frozen in time, dipped into the soul-searching blue of the room.
I see the reflections of the disco balls dancing over his face and reflecting in his eyes, which seem to have every colour known to man, all at once. And even though there are probably another 5,000 people with us in the room, it feels like it is just the two of us. What a cheesy chick flick moment - but once you are in it, it is pretty amazing. You want to look everywhere at once, take that other person in completely because you are just so drawn in - I cannot describe it! And your opposite just flashing you that smile, letting you know without words, that he had been watching all along through my entire my song moment and had probably been looking ever since.
I didn't mind. Nothing mattered.
You know how it feels when you come out of this moment in time? When you slowly become aware again of your surroundings - the light getting a little bit brighter, everyone moving a bit faster again - and the sound from stage slowly reaching your ears again, which had only been playing back your own heartbeat for the past seconds ... minutes?
We smiled. As if we had just found out every wonderful secret about each other and were absolutely willing to make more - together! I looked to the stage - everything still was somewhat in slow motion - which song was this? What was the bands na... and I turned back, to find him still looking at me. Still smiling. Still there.
And as if the crowd had decided to close up around us, we took one small step towards each other...
BOOM! the song kicked off - my song- still my song. How long or rather .. short had our "the only ones in the crowd" moment lasted? I had missed the moment I turned around for, but got so much more. And I hadn't even spoken to him yet!
Like a mutual agreement, without words, just looks, we took each others hand and joined the crowd in singing along, waving, jumping, living this moment, this song.
I wished it would never end. Not the song, not the concert, I wished he would never let go of my hand.
Every now and then, and mind you, everything, every second still felt like it was drawing out forever, I looked at him. Again and again!
His dark floppy hair was falling into his face, curls bouncing with every move he was making to the music. He had pushed several long enough strands behind his ear and you could see sweat glistening on his forehead and running down his cheek. He sang along with so much emotion, as if he was on stage himself. It is so wonderful to see people as much into things, like I am. I cherish that about people! I cherished him. And I still didn't know his name.
He didn't stand still. Not once. He was moving his feet, swinging his hips, changed from waving to clapping, to holding up a lighter. He wiped his neck, where his hair was sticking to his shirt and skin. His hands were beautiful. Even in the dimly lit room you could see how defined they were, just like the rest of him! His shoulders, his nose, his lips! His lips.
Whenever I was looking back to the stage, I knew he was looking at me - we kept missing each other's gazes until even the cheesiest writer in Hollywood would have just shoved us together and made us kiss already.
And there it was. The moment our eyes actually met again, still holding hands, still smiling, singing along.
"Ah fuck it" are the first words I hear from his mouth that are definitely not song lyrics. His smile flashes wider, his eyes flick to my mouth and back up to my eyes. I feel his left hand pulling me in and his right sneaking around my waist, drawing me in all the way. My feet between his, his hand on my lower back, hips touching, my right hand still entwined with his, my left shyly resting on his chest.
"Benedict." he says.
"Emma." I say.
"Emma." he repeats - and I can see his eyes rushing all over my face. "Emma, I would like to do the cheesiest thing of them all and kiss you, right here, right now, in this crowd, during this song, just you and me."
~"Miss Atomic Bomb, making out we got the radio on."~
and I close my eyes....