Work Header

I'm on Sinking Sand

Work Text:

TJ hadn’t really been prepared for any of this. Not the text message he’d woken up to that morning, not the invitation to Colin’s home and certainly not meeting his friends.

The past few weeks had been amazing. Surprising, a previously unknown thing and in itself a mystery, but still amazing. TJ had had hookups before, of course he had. And when the sex had been good - and it had been really, really good with Colin - he wasn’t opposed to getting back together, either. But never before had it become such a frequent thing. But TJ wasn’t the kind of person to overthink a good thing, and so he’d accepted it as something good and easy happening to him for once. He loved sex but going out to find a matching piece was hard work especially when you were TJ Hammond. So Colin had come as an unexpected blessing. A handsome, irresistibly sexy blessing, with the stamina of a bear and the patience of a saint. No, TJ wasn’t about to complain anytime soon.

But then that text message had happened, waking him up after only four hours of death-like sleep. Just because TJ enjoyed being with Colin didn’t mean he’d forgotten how to have a good time without him. So he’d been to a party at an old friend’s place the night before. Kind of pool-themed, he remembered, lots of beautiful bodies in swim gear. No sex, he also remembered with less enthusiasm. But he’d made up for it with a nice mix of expensive alcoholic drinks. Good stuff but leaving him in a state that didn’t appreciate being woken up by the chimes of his text message tone.

Colin inviting him to his home was a first, too. They’d managed to talk a bit here and there when their mouths hadn’t been otherwise occupied, so TJ knew that he was sharing the place with friends and while he knew they probably didn’t sleep in bunk beds and sat around the bonfire at night, they’d still had a silent agreement that most of their time together was spent either at his place or in cars and yeah, once they’d even done the cliché thing of locking themselves inside a toilet cubicle of a bar where he’d given Colin a sloppy drunk blowjob.

What had also seemed a bit off was the time. Five in the afternoon? Seriously? Was he being invited to kid’s birthday party?

But TJ knew better than to complain. He knew from experience that great lays often came in disguise.

That enthusiasm had lasted until he’d knocked on Colin’s door and was greeted by what sounded like a frat boy party gone wild. And Colin must have seen the look on pure horror on his face first thing when he’d opened the door because he burst into a fit of giggles and said, “Oh come on! It’s gonna be fun!”

TJ wasn’t so sure but if he was honest, it were the glassy eyes and the slur in Colin’s voice that made him stay because that was a dead giveaway that the guy was at least a couple beers in alread. First of all, that meant there was a sliver of hope for at least a blowjob to happen in the near future. And then TJ just thought he was cute when he was drunk. Yes, TJ Hammond was using the word cute to describe a guy, even if only in his head. But there was no other word for it. Unlike the guys he usually went for, Colin had this carefree, boyish side to him that just left TJ with a good and warm feeling whenever they saw each other. And the alcohol only amplified that because it got rid of the layer of nerves and whatever else was holding him back sometimes and tried to tell him he had to put on a mask. Which was a bit unfair for TJ to even think because he was the master of masks and public faces.

He followed Colin inside which looked like somebody had turned their granny’s living room into a frat party. Which, TJ assumed, was probably exactly what had happened here. Every surface on the vintage style coffee and end tables was covered with bottles and snack bowls and currently there were five guys trying to fit onto the flower-patterned couch which TJ assumed was meant for three. Another one dragged himself into the room from what TJ assumed was the kitchen, slurping something of a suspicious blue color. He wasn’t sure how either of them would ever fit into his life but he gave them bonus points when no one stopped to stare or comment and he only got a quick wave from all of them. A guy on the couch grunted something that could either be a greeting or a burp but regardless, it sent the rest of them into a fit of giggles and the new arrival was all but forgotten about.

To his credit, Colin tried to introduce TJ. At least he pointed at people and rattled down names, all of which TJ forgot almost instantly, not because he was rude or he didn’t care but because it seemed like Colin didn’t truly care if he'd remember these people or not. Part of TJ wondered if even Colin would remember all of them by the end of the night.

He let himself get steered into the kitchen where he found the large counter in the center having been turned into one giant pile of crushed ice and booze. Melted ice was dripping off the surface and at least there were buckets fighting an already lost battle to keep the floor from turning into a wet mess. TJ wanted to tell Colin he disapproved of this chaos but that would have seemed hypocritical because he was already grabbing a bottle from the pile.

“So...I don't know how to say this without sounding rude, but what am I doing here?” He found a bottle opener next to a stack of abandoned caps and listened to the satisfying hiss when he popped the one off his own bottle and tossed it onto the stack.

And there it was again, that laugh that said “I know I should be offended by what you are saying but I'm just laughing it off because it doesn't feel like this concerns me”. TJ loved and hated that laugh. Hated it because he wished he had even just a crumb of that carefree attitude within himself.

“Why wouldn't you be here?” Colin asked in return and damn, here he was again with that logic that wasn’t really logic but kind of left you without any further points to make because yeah, why wouldn't he be here? Colin had witnessed the kind of things TJ usually spent his spare time with - clubs, drugs, booze, fucks - and why were those more worth his time than this? He could have argued that this wasn't really him but that'd be saying the other things were him and that wasn’t really a place he wanted to go right now.

“Okay, well, I’m gonna need some time to find a comeback to that,” he admitted, taking a pull from the bottle and then putting it down on a few inches of free counter space. He stepped a bit closer to Colin, or a lot actually. So close their chests almost touched and he could smell beer and mint on his breath. Colin’s expression didn’t waver except that he raised his brows in that challenging way he just did. “In the meantime, care to give me a good reason why I should be here?”

There was an unnerving moment in which Colin just looked at him, full on gazing into his eyes. TJ was used to being looked at and scrutinized but something about the way Colin did it always seemed like he was seeing something other people didn’t.

But then he closed the gap between them and kissed him, catching TJ’s upper lips between his own and giving it a little nip before that velvet smooth tongue came out to lick into his mouth. His hand was already moving for TJ’s hip, pulling him up close. There were a lot of these small, possessive gestures that TJ normally didn’t allow. With anyone else, he would have twisted out of that touch and fought to have the upper hand. With Colin, a lot of things were different and TJ struggled not to notice that because noticing would mean thinking about it and TJ didn’t want to think.

Time passed and the kiss turned into something more, the kind of more that had TJ’s blood heating up and his heart racing and he knew what would happen next. Or at least he thought he knew because he definitely didn’t expect the sudden high whistling and cheers that reached his ears so suddenly that he jumped away from Colin even though he didn’t even think this was a bad thing to be caught doing.

“Shea’s got himself a sweet one,” one of the guys barked and slapped Colin on the back as he passed him. Even though Colin said nothing in return, TJ had to grin at how adorably flustered he looked.

There was more laughter and more teasing while each of them gathered a few bottles in their arms and TJ rolled his eyes, impatiently waiting for them to leave again. He was a little worried that they’d ruined the mood, but nothing he wouldn’t know how to fix quite quickly.

But all hopes of that were destroyed when the guys wandered out of the kitchen again but the last one stopped in the doorway to say, “C’mon, it’s about to start. You can always bang him later.”

Apparently, this was enough to coax a reaction out of Colin but he had barely opened his mouth before the whole group of them was gone and nobody was really interested in what he’d been about to say.

“Alright, I know I’ll regret asking, but what’s about to start?” TJ asked with a defeated little sigh. And somehow he already knew it would be nothing including him and Colin getting out of their clothes anytime soon.

“Football,” was all he got as a reply at first. Well, that and Colin tucking his chin to his chest and looking up at him through his ridiculously long and thick dark lashes. And goddammit, it’s impossible to stay mad at that guy!

“Football. Of course,” TJ groaned and threw his head back, stumbling backwards a few steps. “Colin…”

But he didn’t get any further than that because Colin was already holding his hands up in a soothing gesture, interrupting whatever he was about to say. “I know, I know. I just...thought it’d be fun. I’m getting so bored with these guy hangouts and I thought having you around would make it better. And also, I just wanted to see you.” He was already stepping closer again but after two steps, TJ caught up with his intention and grinned as he started backing away. One corner of Colin’s mouth lifted into one of his lopsided grins as he understood what was happening and with two more quick strides he had him backed against the fridge, keeping him trapped with both hands planted firmly against the shiny surface on both sides of his head. “That so bad?” he asked in that low, rumbling voice that seemed to make TJ’s entire body sing and jump to attention, whether he wanted to give in or not.

“You’re so lucky I’m cheap!” He tried to make his voice sound stern but quickly gave up all pretense because his head was already tilting to the side as Colin’s lips started kissing his neck, right over his pulse.

A quiet little hum was all he got in response and TJ wasn’t mad about that because what Colin’s mouth was up to was much more enjoyable anyway. With his hands on Colin’s hips, he found himself melting into a puddle, ready to forgive him. But just like before, they got interrupted. Only this time it was Colin stopping them.

He pulled back and reached for TJ’s hand. “C’mon, they’re not gonna let this go,” he said and TJ was ready to tell him just how little of a fuck he really gave about that but then Colin cheered a quick “Football! Yeah!” and the little fist pump that followed was enough to draw an actual giggle from TJ. Sometimes Colin really did remind him of a giant excited puppy and no matter how hard he tried not to like it, it actually reached spots inside TJ he hadn’t known were even there. So with a shake of his head, he let himself be led back into the living room, only remembering to grab his bottle on the way.

Most of the available sitting space was taken and TJ felt no desire to squeeze onto the couch with a bunch of drunk guys. Apparently Colin had already made up his mind how to solve this problem because he let himself fall into the last available chair and patted his thighs invitingly. But TJ figured they’d be here a while and as preferable as sitting in someone’s lap was with the plan of indulging in some enjoyable one-on-one time was, he didn’t feel like getting into that kinda discomfort while he was forced to watch a group of sports fans getting drunk. So he settled on the floor by Colin’s feet, side resting comfortably against his leg. A look up at his completely dumbfounded expression drew a laugh from TJ’s throat but there was also something darker in Colin’s eyes, something that sent a shiver down TJ’s spine. But he didn't want to explore that any further now, couldn't with the others around. Even so, enjoying that brief little moment that passed between them was nothing he'd deny himself, so he allowed his face to split into a shit-eating grin. “Quite comfy,” he commented, deliberately wiggling against Colin’s leg for a second before he turned away, faking a sudden and intense interest in whatever was happening on the screen.

An hour later this wasn't so fun anymore. Everyone around him, including Colin, was balls deep invested in the game and TJ still couldn't even remember who was playing, not that it would have told him much. He hadn't even bothered to find out who they were rooting for and he'd long since given up on cheering along. His chin was resting on Colin’s knee and he was watching the screen with the bored interest of a sleepy cat. In fact whenever Colin made a sudden move, bumping his leg up, TJ wished he had a tail to swish in annoyance.

What he would never admit, though, but what was making this infinitely more bearable, was watching Colin. Two bottles later and an indecent amount of cheering and swearing, the guy had a flushed face, cheeks bright red and shiny, and TJ wasn’t so sure he was even half aware of the words spilling from his mouth anymore. What he was sure about, though, was that he’d never before heard anyone say ‘brah’ so often before and had actually liked it.

Colin was adorable. There, he said it. Or thought it. But anyway.

Even though Colin had invited him here, TJ didn’t know if this was a side of him he was necessarily supposed to see. Or maybe that had been the point? But what for? They hooked up, they fucked, they’d even got drunk together. But did people usually show this side of them to their fuck buddies? Would TJ be able to even tell what any of the other people were truly like whose numbers he had in his phone?

These thoughts were confusing and complicated, too much for TJ Hammond, who was determined to simplify things as much as he could, especially where other people were concerned.

Not bothering to hide his irritation, he sat up and rubbed his eyes, then somehow managed to drag himself to his feet. “I need more alcohol,” he announced, receiving only a grunt and a pat on the butt from Colin in response. On the way to the kitchen, he made a sudden turn, figuring he could as well make a quick pitstop in the bathroom. Going by a trial and error strategy, he opened a couple doors down the hallway until he got it right and came across a bathroom that screamed granny just as much as the living room. Pink tiles and flower decorations. “Huh,” he commented to no one but himself and locked the door behind himself.

He relieved himself and washed his hands and then, not feeling like joining the others yet, he looked at the various bottles and tubs of hygiene products and when that promised no further entertainment, he dug his phone out of his pocket and started the endless scrolling of a person who had too much time to kill. Facebook, news apps, messaging apps...but nothing really captured his interest and when ten minutes had passed, he figured there was no really good excuse why he shouldn’t go out to the living room again.

With a sigh heavy enough to suggest he was walking to his own slaughter, he dragged himself up from where he was perching on the edge of the tub and washed his hands again, just because it seemed like the thing to do, before he unlocked the door - and ran straight into what felt like a brickwall. Upon further inspection, it turned out to be a certain six foot-something, broad-chested someone who seemed to have been posted right outside the bathroom door for some reason.

“Colin!” The I came out as a squeak and TJ figured he sounded every bit as caught in the act as he felt. “I’m sorry, I just...uh…I was just about to come back.” Not sure if Colin was about to give him a rant for abandoning him or if he just really urgently needed to use the bathroom, TJ made an attempt to step around him, only to feel two very big and very strong hands on both shoulders, pushing him back with gentle force.

“Just where do you think you’re going, sweetheart?” There was a challenging tone to his voice and TJ was nowhere near enough of a strong person to resist, letting himself get backed into the room until he was standing in the center and watched with a dumbfounded expression as Colin leaned against the door and reached behind himself to lock it.

“Hiding in here, were you?” There was no real accusation in the question, but TJ still felt guilty. A defiant bit of guilt, though. If Colin hadn’t lured him into this hellhole of frat boys and sports and cheap alcohol, TJ wouldn’t have had to hide from it. Simple, really. But that kinda bravado was hard to hold up when he was being stared down with raised eyebrows and steely eyes.

“I had to...reply to some messages,” he said and figured this would easily win the prize for the least convincing thing he’d ever said in his life.

“Uh huh. I’m sure you did,” Colin said with a nod and goddammit, there it was again, that puppy face with the huge eyes and the jutted out bottom lip. The face that said Don’t worry, baby, I got you, just give in to me. And not once so far had that not been true. Even now TJ was sure that behind the playful teasing, Colin knew the boredom and the frustration he’d inflicted on him and was determined to kiss it better. What made this so terrible was that it didn’t seem like a game, and that TJ suddenly didn’t want it to be anymore, either.

There was no real time for him to gather his thoughts, either, because Colin was already pushing from the door and making the few steps over to him and once again, TJ found himself getting pulled flush against him by the hip.

Another thing TJ truly liked about Colin was that things never seemed rushed with him. They might be locked in a bathroom with his drunk musician friends just down the hall but that didn’t mean he just dove in and took what he wanted as quickly as possible. Instead of bringing their lips together in a heated kiss, he brushed through TJ’s hair, then brought his hand down to his cheek to cup it gently, thumb reaching to trace the outline of his full lips.

“You’re pretty when you’re pouting,” he informed him and yeah, that was another thing on the endless list of things TJ liked about Colin and that he shouldn’t even have noticed, not enough to put it on any list, physical or imaginary. Colin never cared about words being too effeminate or particularly tough. He seemed to have no assumptions about specific gender roles or care much for that matter. If he thought TJ was pretty, that’s what he’d say. And god, was TJ ever a sucker for that. He loved compliments just as much as the next guy but they got so much better coming from a genuine, heart-on-his-sleeve man like Colin.

The pout, pretty or not, quickly vanished from TJ’s face, lips curling into a little smile. “Tell me more things you like about me,” he demanded and that made Colin laugh. The full on laughter kind that had him throwing his head back and clutching at his chest with the hand that had just been caressing TJ’s cheek before.

“You’re such a demanding little diva sometimes,” he teased and quickly held up a finger in warning. “That was not a thing I like about you, just so we’re clear. Although...who am I kidding? It’s charming.” There was a drunk little groan, as if he’d just fessed up to the most horrible thing.

TJ wasn’t sure what to think about that, or about the weird butterflies that suddenly started a whole dance party in his belly. This wasn’t supposed to happen. Colin wasn’t supposed to like him. Nobody ever liked TJ Hammond. Not like this anyway. And after Sean, TJ had made it a rule not to ever like anyone again either. But this. This was different.

“Hey, whatever you’re worrying about, stop it,” Colin said in that special voice that TJ was sure he meant to sound teasing but actually there was so much softness and caring in it. TJ hadn’t even noticed that he’d sucked his lip into his mouth and was worrying it between his teeth before Colin’s thumb was back and gently pulling it back.

There was a lot TJ wanted to say in response to that and he was about to but when his lips parted, no sound came out and instead, he did the only thing he knew to do and closed in to kiss Colin. There was no protest, of course not. Colin was always happy to accommodate physical contact, and drunk Colin was probably ready to jump him now. But TJ knew they’d have to talk about this eventually. And for the first time in a long while he felt like he might actually want to talk about it instead of just cutting him off.

But not right now, not here, not when they were drunk and most definitely not when Colin’s hand was moving in to make his trademark move by cupping TJ’s ass and giving it a good squeeze. It was a bit harder than usual, clearly the alcohol in his system made him underestimate his own strength even more than usual, but TJ wasn’t complaining.

“Can’t do much here,” he mumbled against Colin’s lips and fuck, why were they always so soft and so full and so tempting?

“Gotta be some lube or somethin’ ‘round here.” Colin’s voice was muffled and distracted and every other word was incoherent because he refused to ease up on the lips and tongue action.

With a little laugh that was awfully close to a giggle and left him feeling a little embarrassed, TJ backed him up until his back hit the door and shook his head. “I’m not letting you fuck me in this godawful bathroom, with all the prepping and all and your friends probably coming out to listen.” The look on Colin’s face was hilarious when he seemed seconds away from crying like a little kid whose favourite toy just got stolen. And again, TJ laughed. It was his turn to cup Colin’s cheek, letting his thumb scrape over the rough stubble on his skin. “Aww, don’t worry, sugar. I won’t leave you hanging. I only said I won’t let you fuck me.”

Either the blood already traveling south was making it hard for Colin to give him a comeback or maybe his system was finally catching up with the impressive amount of alcohol he’d poured into his body over the past hour, but all he did was watch TJ’s hands as they reached for his belt buckle and opened it quickly and efficiently.

“Said nothing about some quick lip service, did I?”

He locked eyes with Colin and didn’t break the gaze even as he was sinking down to his knees, bringing both, Colin’s jeans and underwear, down with him until they were pooled around his ankles. Still, there was no reply but this was good. A speechless Colin, TJ had learned, was a pleased, if slightly overwhelmed Colin and that’s exactly where he wanted him to be right now.

There was something really tempting about having Colin like this, with his pants down but shirt still on, cock not fully hard but on the way there. TJ ran one hand up a strong, firm thigh, further up over his vee, then towards the wiry dark hair. TJ liked that Colin didn’t shave or waxed, just kept everything neatly trimmed and groomed. It suited him and it had come as a welcome change to the otherwise waxed and polished people TJ had slept with before they’d met.

He looked up at Colin’s face only to see him closing his eyes and banging his head back against the door as soon as TJ’s forefinger and thumb hooked around the base of his dick.

“Nuh uh, open your eyes. Watch me.” There was authority in his voice, enough to make Colin’s eyes snap open again. He seemed to struggle for a moment but then he focused, gaze finding TJ’s face and watching as his lips parted and touched the head of his cock. TJ kept them there in an open-mouthed kiss for a split second and then moved to hug them snugly around the tip, giving it a good suck, tongue clicking against the slit for the simple pleasure of feeling Colin’s entire body give a surprised twitch.

Only then did he move to take him deeper, going painfully slow. And as tortured as the sounds were that he drew from Colin this way, TJ was suffering just as much. Taking him inch by inch, so slowly that he was able to concentrate on every little vein and how it pulsed against this lips...that was almost too much for TJ, who was so used to quick gratification.

But it was sweet torture and he kept this up, bobbing his head at an unhurried pace while all the time keeping his gaze locked with Colin’s. And his eyes made this so much more intense. Just watching them widen in surprise when TJ took him in deep, as much as he could manage, filled him with a sense of pride that seemed to warm him from the inside.

But even so, he could only keep this up for so long before his impatience got the best of him and he upped the pace, earning him a grateful sigh from Colin who was clearly eager to move on, too. His hips started moving off the door, meeting TJ’s mouth halfway, and TJ allowed him to do that for a while before he tried to hold him down with a hand on his hip. What the little gesture succeeded in doing, though, was that it started a little battle of dominance that had one of Colin’s big, strong hands fumbling for TJ’s hair, finally managing to get a good grip of it and holding him in place. The struggle TJ put up in response for that was purely for show. He knew that if he put any real effort into it, would make a serious attempt to get away, not a second would pass before Colin allowed him to do so and the game was off. But that wasn’t what TJ wanted, no, the whole purpose of this was for him to finally succumb and let Colin take over.

And that he did. With the alcohol working in his system, his movements were a little slack, voice slurred and TJ had to work with him, help him to keep steady. But nevertheless, soon he was thrusting into him with exerted grunts and a look of serious concentration on his face that would have made TJ laugh if this wasn’t so fucking hot. He’d never seen anyone give themselves over to pleasure to quickly and so willingly before. Watching him was so good, TJ didn’t even bother touching himself. Of course, he could feel his own erection straining against its tight confines but he did nothing about it. Right now was about Colin, and TJ would make sure to get his own release later.

Another moment passed and then he could feel Colin losing it. Careful to look out for the signs, TJ made sure he regained the upper hand, not wanting to end this experience with choking on a string of cum hitting the back of his throat, and so he was able to give Colin’s hips another forceful push back, trapping him against the door as he let him slide from his mouth and his hand took over. His strokes were fast and frantic, mimicking the way Colin had fucked his mouth before, and he opened his mouth as a silent invitation.

Unsurprisingly, it didn’t take long before the thick cock in his hand twitched and the first shot of milky white semen spurted from the tip. This time TJ’s control was lax, though, his aim a little off, and some of it streaked across his upper lip and the side of his nose. Not bothered either way, TJ kept up the good work, now with most of the cum actually ending up inside his mouth, safe for a bit trickling down his chin. Once he was relatively sure he’d milked every last drop out of his cock, he swallowed the mess and placed a wet, smacking kiss on the tip in parting before he let go and murmured a quick “Good boy”.

But just as he made to pull away and wipe at his face, Colin caught him by surprise. It wasn’t a very hard grip but he held his face with one hand and ran his thumb through the little mess on TJ’s chin, then pushed it into his mouth. “Nuh uh, you’re the good boy here,” he slurred, watching with lazy satisfaction as TJ rose to the opportunity and suckled on his thumb a bit longer than necessary, swirled his tongue around it and then released it from his mouth with a pop.

With a smile, TJ finally pulled back and got to his feet. On the way over to the sink, he threw Colin a look and laughed at him struggling with his zipper. “Better stick to water now, huh?” His eyes were sparkling mischievously as he continued watching him over his shoulder in the mirror. Because he had no desire to rummage through the drawers to find a washcloth, he just wet a towel and wiped his face with it before he tossed it on the counter next to the sink.

By then Colin had managed zipping himself up and had made his way over, standing so close TJ could feel his breath tickle the fine hairs in the back of his neck. A second passed and then those soft lips were kissing his skin, moving from his neck to the collar of his shirt and then back up. Still slightly unfocused hands were coming around his body to push up his shirt and go for the button of his pants but the reflection in the mirror showed TJ that Colin’s face made up for it with determination, pure concentration and dedicated to covering every inch of bare skin with kisses. “You didn’t even get off…” he murmured without lifting his lips off his neck.

It would have been so easy to give in, submit himself to the incredible things Colin would no doubt make him feel. But no, instead TJ heard himself say “I don’t wanna”. It came out rushed and almost panicked, drawing Colin’s attention right up to their reflection, gaze meeting his own in the mirror. He looked confused, almost hurt and TJ felt like an asshole.

It wasn’t that he didn’t want the sex - or the handjob or whatever Colin had on his mind - and it wasn’t even that TJ didn’t want any of his. The issue was that he wanted this too much and too suddenly. Being on his knees with someone’s dick down your throat was a concept TJ Hammond could grasp. Having his insides go all warm and mushy because that someone was holding him in his arms and peppering his skin with kisses - not so much.

A moment passed in which both of them just looked at each other, eyes wide, TJ every bit as rattled as Colin. But then he forced his mouth into a little smile and gave the tiniest shake of his head. “I didn’t mean I don’t know. But maybe not now, if that’s okay?”

To his relief, Colin’s expression softened, even though he was still looking at him with this unreadable and intense gaze. But he nodded and murmured a soft “Yeah” before he kissed his neck again.

And annoyingly so, TJ felt oddly grateful that he didn’t let go of him, either. He shouldn’t feel like this, shouldn’t want to be held or exchange any kind of intimacy and yet here he was. And dammit, he was fucked.