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Itaque mirum in locis amor (On Hiatus)

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Lifting her eyes, the blond glared across the table at the uptight captain of the rune knights. "Is keeping me cuffed to the table really necessary? You already took my keys away. Not like I woul-" His raised hand stopped her mid sentence. She huffed as he continued to flip through the thick file before him. Probably all the destruction Team Natsu's caused. I'm going to take the fall for it, no doubt. I'm an easy target.

"Miss Heartfilia-" Her soft voice cut in smoothly. "Lucy, please." His silence and deadpanned expression told her all she needed to know. "Miss Heartfilia, I have here, before me, an impressive list of damages caused by your team." He adjusted his wire-rimmed glasses on his nose. "I would like an explanation for each one."

Lucy groaned softly. Sighing, she sat up straighter before she spoke. "I will acquiesce, but I have a few terms." She watched as one perfect brow rose. She wasn't sure if it was in curiosity or disbelief. Either way. "What time is it?" His brow rose further as Lucy held back her laughter. Looking at his watch, he sighed. "It is 5:56. Why?" Lucy sucked air between her teeth. "4 minutes. Damn!" She breathed to herself.

Looking back to him, her face hardened. "I need a bag of popcorn, a tub of chocolate cherry frozen yogurt, a Lacrima tv, and an hour." At his hard eyes and furrowed brow, she sighed to herself. "Oh! And take these cuffs off for the hour." She watched the muscle in his jaw tic as his rage grew. "I give you my word as a Fa-...Heartfilia, I will not use my magic while my cuffs are off. Though I cannot guarantee that Loke or Virgo will open their own gates. Also, you have 2 minutes to agree, or you'll get nothing out of me, no matter what tortures you force me to endure." Check….your move, Glasses.


Lahar counted to ten in his head, twice. The little blond thought she could make demands. Did she not realize the position she was in?! Gripping the file, he rose to his feet. Turning to leave, he took a deep breath. "There will be no popcorn, no yogurt, or release from the cuffs. You will have 1 hour. I will procure you a small Lacrima tv." He left without another word. He needed his answers. Gran Doma will have my ass if I don't get her her answers.

3 minutes later Lahar returned with a very small Lacrima tv. Setting it just out of reach of the busty blond, he turned it on. "What channel?" He refused to look at her. He hated caving to demands, but it was either this or his job. Plus, the brown-eyed beauty did things to him on a disgustingly primal level.

"MTV." Her voice was strained as he began flipping through the channels. As soon as he found the dreaded channel, he turned to leave. Smirking to himself in triumph for having turned the volume almost all the way down. "Lahar?" He turned and faced her, a brow raised. Surely she wouldn't ask for more, would she?

Her smile was sweet and disarming. She's just as devious as the rest of them. Her melodious voice drifted to him, soft and soothing. "Can you turn the volume up? I'm not a dragon slayer, my hearing isn't that good." Again with that brilliantly sweet smile. Clenching his teeth together, he turned the volume up a few notches before turning to leave. "Umm…" He stopped but refused to look at her. "A little more? Natsu's screaming has kinda ruined my hearing." Her laugh was nervous.

Turning, he watched her fingers tangle and a most endearing blush creep across her cheeks. Sighing to himself, he walked back to the table. Using the file, he pushed the lacrima until it was within reach of the cuffed beauty. Once her fingers touched the device, he turned and left, locking the interrogation room door behind him. Heading to his office, he pulled up MTV himself. On his second screen, he watched the live feed of the girl laughing raucously at the antics of 'The Situation' and 'Sweetheart' while the rest blundered around in the background.


Lucy couldn't stop laughing. The Situation and Sweetheart had gotten into it again. Something about….something stupid. Lucy couldn't remember. She didn't really care. Snooki ended up getting involved. Oh god! What the actual fuck?! They're so stupid! Lucy leaned down to wipe the tears her laughter had produced from her face. Stupid Lahar! Keeping me cuffed here. This isn't as fun without Loke and Virgo. Popcorn and froyo would have been nice too. Lucy sighed as Jwoww started yelling at the other three. Something about a dog. Who knows. They're all just acting.

As the episode was ending, Lahar returned. He sat down across from her and adjusted the file before him. Jesus, I just want to reach over there and free his poor, subjugated hair from its prison. Loosen up! Lucy turned off the lacrima as the show ended. Placing it as far to the side as her cuffs would allow, she laced her fingers together and sat tall. She stared at Lahar in silence for several minutes. She wasn't going to be the one to speak first. To her, it was a sign of defeat. Like she was bowing to his whims.

Though, it goes against everything my father taught me. 'Be the first to speak. Take control of the conversation. Show them you won't take no for an answer. Demand much more than you actually require. That way it looks like your willing to compromise. But never compromise on the important things. Demand what is necessary and don't take no for an answer.' Lucy sighed to herself.

Maybe her father was right. Lucy opened her mouth to speak, but Lahar beat her to the punch. 'Harogen.' Lucy sighed as she shook her head. Her smile and eye roll had to have pissed him off. She wasn't laughing at him, she was expressing all her mixed feelings about her first meeting with Natsu. Schooling her face, she stared into his violet eyes. "What about Harogen? I need more detail if you want clear and concise answers."


He could feel the tic in his jaw starting again. He knew she was right, and he hated it. Unclenching his jaw, he spoke, his voice loud and commanding. "I would like to know how the port and half the town was set aflame." He watched her smile with a wistful look in her eye. Did she have something to do with it?! She couldn't have! Could she?

Before he could fall too deeply into his own twisted spiral, her euphonic voice drifted over him. "I had been tricked into boarding a boat with Bora, who had claimed to be 'Salamander' from Fairy Tail. He said he would take me to Fairy Tail. Back then I was young and naïve. Well, it turned out Bora was kidnapping women to sell into the slave trade. Natsu and Happy got me off the ship and I used Aquarius to push the boat to shore. By the time it landed, the women had awoken from the spell and rushed off into the city. Well, Bora had rings that were fire magic. Natsu eats fire. Their fight got out of control and Natsu used a fire dragon roar. He defeated Bora but ended up setting the town on fire. He grabbed my hand and started running for Fairy Tail."

His jaw was slightly agape. That overzealous fool saved a bunch of women? Impossible! Closing his mouth, he flipped the page in his file. The night had just begun, and they still had much to cover. Picking his pen back up, he pulled his notepad into a comfortable writing position. "The Onibus train station and surrounding area. It was turned to rubble. How?" He started taking notes as she spoke.

The night carried on in this manner. Lahar taking notes as Lucy described the events surrounding the destruction of each location her team had been. After several hours of her calm cooperation, he released her from her cuffs. She remained where she was and continued to answer, in detail, all of his inquiries. At one point, two of her spirits, Loke and Virgo, popped into the interrogation room. Having opened their own gates in concern for their key holder. Lucy apologized to him, and them, as she quickly explained the situation and sent them away.

All the while, Lahar tried to ignore his inappropriately hard phallus. Her sweet scent of honeyed strawberries wafted past him, wrapping around him every so often. It drove him mad. He wanted to see if she tasted as good as she smelled. It's been so long. Not since I was a Scrub. To feel a woman again. Soft, supple flesh. Warm silk sliding beneath my fingers. Hot honey running over my- Her delicate voice pulled him from his untoward thoughts. "Captain Lahar? Is everything alright? Is that the last town you needed details for?"

Nodding, he stood, instantly facing the door, if only to hide the evidence of his arousal. He quickly exited, ignoring her questions after his health. He hastily entered his office and sat at his desk. Looking up, he noticed his new partner…..Justice?...was missing from his own desk. He had nothing to do other than put away the massive stack of files Lahar had left for him. He should not have left their shared office for another hour or so.

Pulling out his communication lacrima, he called the much younger man. When he answered, Lahar almost hung up immediately. By the way the view was shaking, and the erratic pattern of the young man's breathing, Lahar could tell he was engaged in coitus. During work hours. In the building. Lahar sighed. "When you're done…." Lahar gave up on finishing that sentence. He couldn't very well say 'getting railed' The young man thought he was hiding his sexual orientation, but it was very obvious to anyone with eyes. "Take Miss Lucy Heartfilia a meal. Then show her to a room. Standard procedure. Lightweight magic canceling bracelets. And when you return to the office, I expect you to have showered. I will not have my office smelling of sex ever again." Lahar hung up.

The boy had used HIS desk as a place for coitus. Lahar had come in on a Monday to find his desk covered in a sticky fluid and his papers unorganized, as if someone had moved them, then put them back later. It took him a moment to notice the smell of sex that still lingered in the air. Lahar had demanded a new office and desk the instant he'd realized that it was ejaculate on his desk and hands. He had almost strangled the smiling youth when he walked in the door.

Sighing, he opened his file to the first page. Harogen. Taking his hand written notes, he started transferring them to the proper forms to file with the existing cases already before him. Now, if only I knew what to do with the little Celestial mage in my interrogation room...