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Inbetween Worlds

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❝I thought you hate me. The glances you were giving me every time no one was watching; I hated them. They were hurting me. You may never noticed, but they really did hurt me.

I kept trying, smiling at you. All I got from you was this glance full of emotion. An emotion I wasn’t able to describe.

It was a surprise, when you first said it, when you started making me feel weird. I never felt this way before. But there it was, killing me softly. From inside and outside.

Was it love? If so, why did it hurt so much?

What did you want? What was it that made you so hateful and cold?

And most importantly, how did you make me fall for you? ❞


Let's look a few weeks before...


Again, blue eyes are falling onto turquoise ones; pink lips, searching for rosè ones.
“Don’t do this...”, the older boy whispers, letting it sound like a painful groan.
“Pleas-”, the blonde lad says, but being interrupt by a cold shiver, running down his back.

Niall tries to shift but, Louis has him pinned against the wall; his hands holding the small man’s wrists tightly. His lips are only inches apart from his own one, and Niall never has felt so desperate for something, or for someone.

Louis, on the other hand, was waiting for this moment since forever; this moment of relieving pain.
Being able to show emotions is what he’s looking for, for so long. Simply not able, not allowed to show any of his feelings, even, lately, it has been hard.
How are you supposed not to show someone the love you have for them, when you know, you are able to hurt them? The older boy knows about the risks, yeah, he knows.

But what about Niall? Does he know them? Does he know the limits? Obviously, right now, he doesn’t even care. One more step..., he thinks and his mind repeats it like a mantra. The younger boy is confused, even though he just wants to kiss the other boy’s lips, he’s still confused about this feeling. Since when did he get them, since when does he fall for Boys?
However, he just wants to kiss those lips, for whatever reason, he can’t resist.

And even Louis is unable. Unable, to keep secrets; unable, to resist; unable, not to love.

“I’ve waited so long for this.”, he whispers, finally, “I’d die to kiss those lips of yours just once. Only if I could, though...” He leaves Niall perplexed, not waiting any longer. He parts his lips on the small, fragile-seeming boy, loving how they are moving perfectly.

Since this day, everything changed. Badly.

Chapter Text

ᴄнαρтєя 1.



Niall lets out a chuckle; Louis making weird things can always make him laugh. Louis instead, looks at the blonde with anger in his eyes. The younger boy’s smile disappears quickly and he wonders what Louis’ problem is. It has always been like that; cameras on, Louis plays around; cameras off, Louis starts being weird. It always have and always will be. At least that’s what Niall thinks. He doesn’t really understand what is happening; since the first day at XFactor, when he met the mysterious boy, all he was getting were glances he couldn’t really state. 

All he said back then was the sentence, “Let’s all dress like Louis, 'cause I like his shoes.” Is it the sentence that made him hate the irish-man? The lame joke? Ah, shit. 

Why can’t he just tell him?

But Louis has his own reasons for not telling the other boy; secrets. Secrets, he isn’t allowed to tell someone, not even his best friend. He never thought it would be that - difficult to play this role, to let everyone not notice. Well, he does a great job, nearly everyone believes him. Nearly.

Niall does notice, he doesn’t exactly know what it is, but there’s just something that isn’t right or normal about this boy. And Niall can’t help but wonder.  

The blond’s eyes fall onto Louis. He’s sitting in Harry’s lap, playing with some of his curls and somehow, yeah, somehow, the feeling of jealousy hits Niall. Why can’t Louis just be normal to Niall as well? It can’t be that difficult! All Niall wants is normality, but he isn’t getting some any time soon. Slowly narrowing his eyes, he watches how Louis claps his hands and Harry laughing about something Louis just said.

“Hey, mate, wanna get some food with Liam and me?”, Zayn interrupts his thoughts and Niall just nods, standing up from his seat on the couch and walking together with the older lad over to Liam. Liam smiles kindly at them, “I guess, I’ll just go get Paul. That’s a crowd outside.” Zayn strains his ears and Niall bites his lower lip. He just wishes everything could be normal. I mean, yes, he loves being in the band and he loves the lads, but there’s just something about Louis that keeps him awake at night. “Here we go.”, Liam says, coming back from wherever he was, Paul walking next to him.  

The three boys and their bodyguard are walking down, standing next to the glass door and Paul starts walking out of the building where they had an interview before, Zayn and Liam following him. Only Niall is still standing.  

“Niall!”, Zayn’s voice rips him again out of his thoughts and the younger boy jerks his head up, running straight into the door while doing this. “Ah, fuck!”, he curses and Zayn can’t hold the chuckles back. “Stop laughing at me!”, Niall groans in pain, walking behind the others. He kind of smiles at all the fans. Even though they’re in New York he hadn’t expected so many fans. Of course he knows One Direction has million of fans, but it’s still heart-clenching seeing them. It reminds him that he’s seriously living his dream.

A few screams of the girls to his left interrupt his thoughts.  

“Niall! Niall!” The blond looks at them, smiling. “Niall! What do you think about Larry?” Niall’s jaw drops at that. “Is Larry real?!”, a ginger-haired girl screams louder than the others and his heart seems to crack a bit. Ouch. 

Ignoring any of these comments, he starts walking a bit faster than before, hoping to find the car that was parked in their near. With a sigh of relief he lets himself fall onto the black seats of the grey jeep. Zayn and Liam letting themselfes down in front if the irish. Said boy leans his head on the window frame, watching from the corner of his eyes how Zayn slightly stretches himself, settling his right arm around Liam, who only smiles and leans into the touch. It’s not that the boys are in love or something. No, it’s nothing like that, they are just really good friends. And sometimes, he wishes he’d have such a good friendship with one of the lads. Liam has Zayn and Harry - has Louis. Niall frowns at the thought and suddenly his stomach starts to grumble rather loudly. Niall slightly cocks his head, wondering why they aren’t driving to Nando’s or McDonald’s or anywhere, because the poor boy is starving. He finally decides to ask. “Are we going to get some food today or..?”, he says, slightly annoyed of all the waiting since he hadn’t eaten in quite a while. Liam chuckles, “Yeah, yeah, we’re just waiting for the other lads. But we can only take the food to go, 'cause there’s another interview tomorrow in...”, the older boy seems to think, “Oh yeah, Manhatten!” Niall huffs, rolling his eyes at the thought of Louis being in his near. “And let me guess? We have to drive there!” Zayn nods, “Yep.” Niall throws his head back, groaning. He hates long drives! Especially those where Louis is close.

“Where do you want to sit?”, Niall can hear Harry ask. “Next to you, Haz’ ” , a happy voice, Niall recognizes as Louis', replies and the blond boy rolls his eyes, imagining in his head how the older boy would look at the curly-haired boy with a dreamy glare. Ugh. 

Harry stops in front of the car, Louis nearly tripping after him, looking around, seeing only two more seats free. One next to Niall and the other one on the window’s side. He frowns. “What are you waiting for, Lou?”, Harry asks, lightly nudging the older boy into the jeep. “Uh, I don’t want to sit in the middle.”, he mumbles. Harry groans annoyed, “Boo, you know I have to sit next to the window! Otherwise I have to throw up. You remember the last time?” And, yes, in fact Louis does remember. His nose cringes at the memory. Huffing, he shoves himself into the car, sitting down next to the younger boy. Louis grinds his teeth. He really doesn’t want to sit here. No - he can’t sit here. It’s just wrong. Why can’t they accept that?

Niall on the other hand, sighs and starts chewing on the corner of his lips. Fate just doesn’t like him. One way or another, he has to talk to Louis or be in his near, sooner or later it will happen. Oh well. Later., the irish boy decides, letting out a few breathes and laying his head again against the window. Sometimes the young boy wonders why he isn’t happy. Well, not at all. And then his eyes fall onto the 'Larry’-Love next to him. Not that there’s something going on between the two, Niall just feels jealous, because he cares so much about the older boy. And maybe because he thinks that it’s utterly unfair what Louis is doing. He at least wants to know a reason for his attitude!


• • •


About ten minutes later the jeep comes to a stop and Niall can’t help but grin to himself. Finally, food!

“Welcome at Nando’s, can I take your order, please?”, a sweet, high voice comes out of the speakers and Paul starts speaking to the probably young lady. Since he already knows what the boys like to eat, he doesn’t bother asking them anymore. Alright, would you please drive up? Your order will come in a few.”, the voice says again and the car starts moving with a few loud coughs and cracks. While the boys wait for the food, Niall looks around. Zayn and Liam are laughing and talking to each other and Harry and Louis are cuddled up. Once again Niall starts biting his lip, frowning and starting to become sad. He was right before - he’s alone. 

“Here we go.”, a manly voice says, “Thank you for coming, hopefully see you soon.” Niall’s eyes widen at the incredibly, yummy smell and water begins to form in his mouth. “Calm down, Ni. You’re slobber is everywhere!”, Zayn jokes and Niall sticks his tongue out at him. Who cares about drool anyways? It’s fucking food and he hasn't eaten since this morning! 

“That’s for you, boys!”, Paul calls rather loudly and turns around to give them the bag. Niall smirks at the words on it. 'Take Me Home’

As the five lads are eating their food, everything is fine, just like always, might add. Liam eats exemplary, flinching every time Zayn digs his spoon into his ice-cream (it's not like he's totally afraid of spoons, alright. Just he's kinda afraid that Zayn gets some idea and wants to feed him with it); Louis and Harry feeding each other; Zayn just eating casually and easily as always and Niall, himself, just shoves anything and everything of his food into his mouth. “Niall, man.”, Zayn chuckles, wiping away with his hand a bit of the ice-cream that was at the corner of his mouth, Liam watching him doing this, frowning at the sight and grabbing a tissue to help the older lad. Niall’s about to forget about the comment Zayn was about to make, taking hold of the chicken and almost biting when Zayn starts again, “You’re eating like you’ve never eaten before!” The blond bloke swallows the amount of food in his mouth and shrugs. He really isn’t going to tell him why he’s eating like that. He’s just a bit nervous, that’s all. He doesn’t like Louis’ being, it makes him feel weird and he isn’t planning to admit that.

After all of the boys finished eating, they throw the leftovers into the bag and hand them to Paul who only huffs at the laziness of the young mates.  

Immediately, Zayn lays his head into the crook of Liam’s neck, closing his eyes and Liam smiles at that. He really likes the closeness the two have. Louis is about to do the same, but Harry’s stomach is planning something else. “I’m sorry, BooBear. I just don’t feel well right now. I might as well throw up, though.”, the younger lad explains and Louis tilts his head, looking at the curly-haired boy, feeling a bit guilty that he overfeeded him only a few minutes ago. The oldest boy sits himself back on the middle-seat, stretching his feet out and realizing that Niall is laying next to him. Oh, yeah, he almost forgot.

But the irish boy isn’t noticing that Louis’ gaze is grounded on the boy. Niall is too caught up in his thoughts that he doesn’t even notice how he slowly drifts off to sleep, his eyes close and his mouth slightly parted. Louis lets out the breath he was holding for a few seconds, finally letting himself relax. That’s until fragile-seeming Niall turns a bit around, his head falling onto the older boy’s shoulder. Louis tenses, waiting for the other boy to turn away but, to his bad luck Niall doesn’t even stir. Ever so slowly, Louis relaxes again, somehow liking the feeling of the warmth the blonde boy’s laying head gives him. Carefully, he looks around, seeing that everyone is asleep and, as Niall could break with one touch, the Doncaster lad strokes over the pale skin. He breathes in and lays his own head back. Barely wondering how everyone fell asleep so fast but more enjoying this moment, Louis eventually falls asleep too. His mind full of the sleeping beauty next to him.

Chapter Text

ᴄнαρтєя 2.





Niall's being awaken by a gentle grip and slight shoves on his right arm. Slowly, ever so slowly, he lets his eyes open, his lids fluttering and his lightly parted lips form into a yawn. “Niall, mate, wake up. We arrived.”, a few chuckles, the blond boy recognizes as Zayn's, inform him and he finally decides to better rub his eyes. Why can't they just let him sleep? 

Zayn smirks to himself as the younger boy is nearly falling asleep again and with a cocking eye-brow he bends forward and takes the other boy over his shoulder. Niall clings onto him tightly, carefully trying to hold his eyes open but, unfortunately- failing. His mouth parts again and Zayn smiles lightly, while he starts walking in front of the big, grey building next to them, squashing between the door and clicking the button of the lift. Meanwhile, Niall starts feeling a big lump in his throat. But not one of those where he wants to cry, no, it's more like he's nearly vomiting. With a muffled 'Zayn' he shoves himself off of the startled boy and holds his hands out in a defending position. “Niall, are ya okay, bud'?”, Zayn finally asks, even though he's slightly nervous. Niall shakes his head vigorously and in the next moment - it's over. Clarity seems to run into Niall's mind and he blinks a few times.

“Ni..?”, Zayn starts again. Niall gulps dryly, “Y-Yeah?” “Are you alright?” The blond nods. Seriously, he doesn't even know what's gotten into him.  

“I really don't know what just happened, I'm sorry.”, Niall finally says, looking at Zayn, who has an obvious sheepish expression on his face. “Uh, okay?”, the older replies, shaking his head, “The lift's there, c'mon.” 

Zany starts walking in front of Niall, onto the lift and clicking one of the shining buttons. The blond wraps his left hand around the cold, silver holder, hissing at the contact and gulping. He never liked lifts, anyways.  

A few moments vanish and the boys arrive at the top floor, stepping out. Zayn smiles empathetically at the younger boy as he starts walking into Liam's direction, who is talking on his phone, “You'll be alright?” Niall nods, “Yeah, I'll be fine. Guess, it was just one-of-a-kind.” And with that Zayn steps away fully, stalking over to Liam as realisation hits him.

Niall watches the raven-haired lad walk away as he shakes his head, trying to clear his mind of whatever that was. But his calming doesn't last long.

“Hey, Niall, mate, what was up?”, he hears Harry calling out for him, walking over and rubbing his left shoulder; Louis following close after. Niall sighs. “I..don't know, actually. I just felt a bit sick, s'all.”, he replies and tries to ignore the glance Louis, once again, gives him. “Told you, he is fine.”, Louis whines at Harry, grabbing his shoulders and pulling him back. “Lou, I'm trying to help Niall!”, Harry complains at the oldest boy and Louis pouts at that. Does he really have to help Niall? Why can't he help someone else? The Doncaster lad clenches his teeth. It's not that he doesn't care about the blond, it's just...he can't. He can't help him. He's helping him enough by keeping a distance between the two.

“I think you should sit down or something, you look a bit pale.”, Harry's low voice disturbs him at his thoughts and he hears Niall whining, “But I'm alright, Harry, really.” Harry chuckles, “Alright, but if you're throwing up, don't say I didn't wanna help.” Niall shakes his head, “Of course, not.” 

“C'mon, Harry..”, Louis murmurs. “What is your problem, Louis? You were actually quite worried about Ni, too!”, Harry nags and Louis swallows a big load of nothing (oblivious to the fact how Niall's eyes widen). Can't Harry just shut up once? “Bla-bla-bla!”, the oldest yells and the curly-haired boy nudges him next to Niall, smirking. 

The two hiss at the contact and Niall tries to back away, but Louis has him by his wrist. A quick pain goes through that spot, causing him to gulp as the blond looks up into ocean-blue eyes; those staring back at him in disbelief. Niall's lips part at this unrealistic situation, what is he even doing?

“Uh, guys?”, both boys back away from each other as they hear Harry's voice, ripping them both out of this trance. Niall lets a much needed breath slip through his lips. “Sorry...”, Louis lets out, frowning, “I thought, you were about to fall over.” And like that, he turns around, walking over to the restrooms, still totally confused about what just happened.

Stepping in and slamming the door behind him, he starts to run to and fro. He wishes he'd have something to punch, because his nerves are just raw. What in hell did he think; why didn't he just kiss him in from of everyone, already?! For god's sake!  

He has to keep cool, this can't happen again. For sure, Niall felt this sparkling pain, as well. It wasn't to ignore, really. They were much too close. How could he be so dumb? This needs to stop. Now.

And, in fact, yes, Niall did feel it. But he's still too starstruck to even stir. His eyes are wide open and his lips are parted as he stands there, next to Harry who is smirking at what he had caused. “Cooee! Niall?”, he chuckles, raising a hand up and snapping his fingers in front of the blond's face. Said boy shakes his head and frowns. What did just happen? The brown-haired boy laughs, “Are you okay?” “W-what? Oh. Uh, yeah, I'm..fine.”, the older lad finally replies as Harry looks to his right. “Good. Uhm, I'm just going to find Louis, we're on in a few minutes.”, the younger tells him and walks away.  

Niall rolls his neck, letting it crack as he heads up to Zayn and Liam.  

“Hey, mate.”, Liam greets him, smiling. Zayn looks at Niall. “Do you feel better?”, he asks and Niall nods, smiling wryly. “What's this interview about, by the way?” “Just usual stuff. About the tour and I guess, something about bromances, too.”, Zayn informs him. What a big surprise. “Nothing about the big announcement? I was rather counting on that.”, Niall asks now and Zayn shrugs as Liam replies, “I guess, that's another topic as well.” 

The blond nods, feeling about the stinging spot, where Louis' touch is still lingering, with his two fingers and immediately shivers start running down his back.

“Boys?”, a rather pudgy man with half-bald head calls out, making wave-motions at the three, “You're on in ten!” 

Quickly, the three bandmates are running over and letting themselves down on the grey couch, next to them a ginger-haired interviewer. From the corner of the room Harry and Louis are running over to the rest of the boys, sitting all down as Louis mutters 'bastard' under his breath. Since the couch is a bit too small for five people, Liam is sitting on the left arm-rest, next to him Zayn, Niall in the middle, then Harry on his other side and on the right arm-rest sits Louis.

“5, 4, 3, 2..”

The interviewer starts introducing herself, talking about that she's got some special guests today. The interviewer is a woman, called Emma, around the age of thirty with brown hair and light eyes. “So, I'm here today, with the boy-band One Direction! Nice to meet you, boys.”, she smiles at them and they all share their 'hello's.

The interview passes by rather fast. All the boys talk about how they feel now that they are on tour and also about the big news. A few glances here and there Louis is giving Niall, but he tries to ignore them and simply smile. He leaves a comment from time to time, chuckles at the boys' jokes and honestly doesn't know what else to do. His mind keeps repeating the recent events, and unconsciously, his fingers run down his arm to his wrist, just where Louis had touched him. Goosebumps are forming on his skin as soon as he once again feels over that spot, rubbing over it countless times.

Only now he notices that he is breathing heavily through his nose and a startled Zayn looks at him, slightly nudging his elbow into Niall's side. Immediately, his hand removes from its seat on his wrist as he looks at the older boy. “Are you okay, bud'?”, Zayn asks and Niall nods, having a feeling of nausea and suddenly the air around him seems to heat up. He can feel droplets of sweat form on his forehead and under his armpits as Zayn looks even more puzzled at him, “Are you sure?” Niall gulps and it feels like everyone around him seems to grow bigger, like he is squeezing between big towers and they are coming nearer and nearer. He sinks deeper into his seat on the, much too small, couch, shutting his eyes and biting down on his lip hard.

Now everyone's attention is on the smallest boy as he squirms and winces, trying to just fucking unwind already.
Harry next to him feels concern rise up as he turns to face Niall, fiddling with his hands because he is about to freak out. He doesn't know what to do! “Niall! Niall, what's up?”, he asks him as he sees him shiver, stroking with his fingers over his arm, trying to at least do something.
Louis behind him is about to explode. He wants to help Niall! He really, really wants to. Just - he can't. It's a bit like a volcano inside him is about to release. The oldest boy is battling with himself, whether not to help or to just forget everything he told himself just a few minutes ago.

Well, there's a moment in everyone's life where they just think 'screw it' and do what their heart tells them to. And this moment, now appeared in Louis Tomlinson's life.

“Get him over here! Lay him down, he needs space!”, he says, pointing at the white floor and not really meaning anyone in particular while telling it. The boys stand up and perspiration starts to form on their foreheads. Zayn and Liam take Niall by his feet and Harry takes his shoulders as the interviewer stands there, not knowing what to do and in total shock.

Niall feels the hands around him, but he doesn't dare opening his eyes. He is just ashamed and embarrassed and the feeling is still there, causing his head to spin.
The boys lay him down on the floor and Niall twitches a few times. And then - it's over.


• • •


 It's not that he likes it, really. It's not even that he's not trying. But Niall just can't hold it in any longer.

The vomit is coming out of him and he can't even help it. He just sits there, kneeling and somehow trying to hold himself up on his weak arms. Tears are rolling down his red cheeks and when it's finally over, the disgusting taste is causing the need in Niall to puke once again.

And when it's finally finding its end, Niall takes a deep breath in, wiping away the perspiration on his forehead with the back of his hand. He hiccups a few times before he stands up, holding his hands up to achieve a balance and then walks over to the sink, spitting and cleaning his mouth. 'Cause, fuck, he still has got this taste in his mouth!

The blond sighs one time and then turns to head over to his and Harry's room. Silently, on his tiptoes, he walks along the corridor, trying not to wake anyone. A few cracks come from the parquet as he stops in front of the Hotel-room and opens the door quietly. He slips in and closes the door maybe just too loud and maybe Harry woke up. But Niall doesn't really care about that right now.

He slips under his blanket in a quick motion and squeezes his eyes shut. He can't help it. He just really fucking doesn't understand it!

Without him even knowing, his hand wanders down to his wrist and immediately he freezes. A prickling burn passes through his whole body and there are stars and multicoloured sparkles in his mind. In just a second, Niall bites his tongue hard and tangles his legs with the blanket. His pale arms travel down to his sweatpants, moving underneath it and his muscles flex as he licks his lips. A vision is coming to his mind and as he moves his sweating hand on his hard cock, he feels a bit giddy, because Harry is right there, but he just can't stop himself from doing it.

Niall squeezes his dick a bit harder at the top and throws his head into the pillow at the sensation; his neck stretched and beads of sweat spread all over it. And this ocean-blue eyes come back to his mind. And everything he wants to do is give the person those eyes belong to a good kick in the arse. He can't believe he's doing this. And he damn sure can't stop this. Not right now. Everything's hot and slick and crazy.

His hand starts moving faster and Niall can't hold back a few moans and sighs. His hips snap and thrust into his now hot palm, trying to feel that friction.
With a choke of “Louis” and his mind full of tanned skin and blue eyes and feathery hair, Niall comes. All over his abdomen and stomach, and coates his hand and sweats.

And before Niall can catch his breath, he hears someone saying his name and when realisation hits him, it's already too late. Niall knows it's Harry. And he wishes he could just disappear when he says, “Did you just...?”

Chapter Text

ᴄнαρтєя 3: Fool.




“Did you just..?”

Niall feels like there’s a rope around his neck; he can barely breathe, because for fuck’s sake! this shit is not what he had expected! Quickly, he takes his hand out of his sweats and for a moment he considers to pretend he is asleep, but Harry is smart enough to get that he would be faking it. With a long sigh, he sits himself up and risks a look at the younger boy, but immediately regrets it as he sees the expression on the other’s face. Niall buries his face into his hands with shame.

The first thing that went through Harry’s head was “he’s gay!”, but now, his brain slowly starts figuring it out and it’s more like, “oh, he’s gay” and “he’s into Louis”. And then, a grin appears on his face, because, oh my god, he’s into Louis! The curly-haired boy leans a bit forward on his bed as he sees Niall’s look, full of embarrasment and guilt. But Harry doesn’t understand. Why is he acting like that? Yeah, sure, he cought him while he was masturbating, but they are best mates, it shouldn’t be such a big deal. Besides, it’s not the first time he saw Niall’s dick. They have seen each other naked plenty of times — it’s not a big deal.

A light sob falls out of the blond’s lips and he hopes that Harry didn’t hear it, but it seems that today everything goes wrong.

“Niall, hey, little darling,” Harry starts, standing up from his bed and heading over to Niall's. The blond rolls his eyes, because, seriously Harry? Darling? “C'mere, don't be sad.”, Harry says now, letting himself down on the bed and wraps an arm around Niall. The older boy frowns, “Uh, I think it's better if, uh, I could just go and, uh, get myself clean from all this, eh yeah.” “Cum, Niall.”, Harry finishes the sentence Niall was too embarrased to do and looks at him while he stands up, disgust written in his facial features. A grin forms on his lips as he shakes his head, watching the blond walking into the bathroom and closing the door behind him.

Fuckfuckfuck, Niall's mind is blurry of what happened just a few minutes ago, but he tries to block it as good as he can. With a groan, he pulls his sweats down, wrinkling his nose at the sticky liquid and then hops into the shower, closing the curtains and turning the water on. A hot spurt hits the blond boy straight on his chest and with a hiss he backs away, immediately turning it off again. “Ah, shit.”, he curses and misses the sound of the door opening.

“Hey, there.”, he hears a low voice behind him and nearly screams, turning around and his mouth falls open. Why in hell is Harry in here?! “Sorry, didn't want to scare you.”, Harry chuckles and squeezes next to Niall into the shower, then closes the curtains again. “Wh-What are you doing, Harry?”, Niall asks, stressed out now and he really tries not to look at Harry's private parts. “I'm keeping you company. Don't want you to get an attack again.”, the younger simply answers and Niall feels like he's going to burst any second. “Alright, listen, Harry,” he starts, trying to be as politely as he can, “I don't think, you get the point.” Harry smirks, turning the water on again and splashes it on Niall. “Hey!”, Niall squeaks and his cheeks go pink, because it sounded anything, but manly.

The younger boy shuts Niall, holding his hand over his mouth, “Psh, it's 3 am. Don't wanna wake someone, do you?” Niall rolls his eyes as Harry keeps talking, “It's cool if you don't want to talk about it. But you can't argue away that you masturbated to the thought of Louis.” A prominent amount of pink appears on Niall's cheeks while Harry takes his hand away and lets him speak, “Okay, I did what I did, but can we just not talk about it?” “As you will.”, Harry shrugs, “Now turn around, so I can help you clean yourself.” Niall frowns, “Thank you very much, but I can do that very well myself!” “C'mon, now.”

With a rapid gesture, he turns him around and Niall nearly slips, but Harry has him tight and when Niall is finally stable on his feet, he lets the water flow over the blond's back. Niall folds his arms as Harry keeps on cleaning him. His big hands run over the smaller's back and then over his stomach and abdomen. Niall's breath hitches, “Doesn't this disgust you?” “I probably have got more experience than you know,” Harry chuckles, “But, I've got a question for you.” “Yeah?”, Niall gulps. He knows Harry is bisexual, but what he didn't know beforehand, was that, you know, Harry is — quite experienced.

“Are you — gay?”

The question comes through Niall's thoughts, a bit cloudy and only just so, but when it finally hits him, he has to take a deep breath in. He doesn't know — is he?

And he wants to say just this, but Harry leads his hands up, letting them circle around Niall's chest and the next second, the blond feels hot breath on his neck. “Uh, H-Harry-” “Psh..” Harry smirks to himself, because he can nearly see the sexual tension between him and Niall. The thing is, though, that he also found out that, yes, Niall is gay, bisexual, at least. Niall, on the other hand, is totally overwhelmed and doesn't know what to do. His emotionsare completely going wild, right now. Why is Harry doing this with him?

Harry pulls away, abruptly and Niall turns around quickly, “Harry!”, and with a quick motion, he grabs him by his biceps and pulls him down, so their faces are only inches apart. “I think this should answer your question..”, he whispers and grasps into Harry's locks, crashing their lips together. Harry is a bit perplexed, at first, but kisses back just as heatedly, after he finally realised what is happening. Their kiss is messy and Harry shoves his tongue into Niall's mouth.

And then it hits Niall.

He sucks in a breath and suddenly rage runs through him. What the fuck did he think, kissing Harry?! With a shove, he tries to get the younger boy off him and as he finally accomplishs, he squeezes out of the shower, picks up a towel, turns around to Harry, “I- I'm sorry! Fuck. Shitshitshitshit.”, and walks out of the door.

Stepping into the room, he throws the towel on the floor, quickly hides himself under his blanket, forcing it over his head, and breathes in and out, fitfully. Why in the first place, did he kiss Harry?! Wow, congratulations, Niall, you just got the award for the biggest fool on earth!

Niall tries to cover his ears with his hands, tightly gripping his hair. He just wants to forget what happened in there! Through the blood rushing in his ears, he can make out the sound of a door opening and then foot steps. The blond shuts his eyes as tight as he can, maybe he can just pretend to be asleep. And Harry won't even try to talk to him? Oh well, nothing goes right today, it seems.

“Hey, Niall, don't be embarrassed, alright?”, he hears Harry speak up and immediately tightens his grip on his hair, his teeth starting to pierce his lower lip. “I kissed you back, just as much. Please, Niall. I didn't mean to scare you away or something.”, Harry says again and Niall clutches his stomach, because these are surely just excuses. The younger boy sighs, loudly, and gives the blond's blanket a small tug. He didn't want to embarrass him! “Please, Niall, let me under the covers.” Niall doesn't move, just bites down harder. “Niall, please.” And Niall can't hear him begging any more, so he decides — much to his dismay — to hold a bit of the blanket up, with his eyes still closed, and lets Harry slip into bed, next to him.

A smile creeps onto Harry's face as he carefully wraps his arms around Niall's waist, pulling him closer. Niall just frowns, because, c'mon, can this get any more awkward? “You're cold.”, Harry states and Niall huffs, “No shit, Sherlock.” “Hey, don't get sassy on me, Mister.” “Sorry...” Harry chuckles at him and with a warm hand, he cups the blond's cheek, his fingers tracing over Niall's rosé lips. And then, he leans in, he doesn't know what it is, but ensures himself that he is going to figure it out later, because there's obviously no space for that in his mind, right now. Harry holds on for a second, breathing in and then closes the gap between their lips.

And Niall is surprised when he feels Harry's soft lips on his. And he's even the more surprised when they don't move. He doesn't dare opening his eyes, just out of his own stupid fear to see Harry only faking it and making a disgusted face behind his closen eyes.

Nothing happens for a couple more moments, when Harry's lips finally start moving. Finally, because Niall can't bear this tension. Harry's kiss is slow at first and Niall gets bored. He doesn't even know the reason, himself, he just knows that he really wants to kiss Harry right now. So, he does. He starts moving his lips against the younger's, more forceful, but still gentle and he can't resist going with his hand through Harry's curls. They feel soft against his fingertips and as Harry starts plunging into Niall's mouth with his tongue, his last sober brain cell takes its leave. Their lips move beautifully against each other and Niall is sure, he didn't had such a kiss in a long time.

“Niall.”, he hears Harry moan, and this time, Niall opens his eyes, pulling back a bit, getting a better look at Harry's face. Harry smiles at him, his dimples showing and tilts his head a bit, almost innocently. Niall's eyes start looking up and down the other's body, and now that he sees that he is naked, as well, a decent amount of pink appears on his cheeks. He can't really take in anything else, because Harry grabs his face again and crashes their lips together. In a swift motion, Niall pushes himself off a bit and sits straight onto Harry's lap, with each leg on either side of the younger's hips. Both boys hiss at the friction their crotches get and Niall can't help but rocking a bit forward, trying to get more of this friction. Harry gasps into the blond's mouth as his erection is gently rubbed by Niall's smooth cock. Their kiss turns a bit more frantic with every second, teeth clashing and lips starting to puff up, but both sides still enjoy it.

And the next second, Harry grabs Niall's hips and thrusts upwards rougher than before. Niall moans out louder than planned and he tries to focus, but with Harry moving so deliciously, he can't control himself. And when Harry takes both their dicks in his hand, moving up and down just fast enough and warmth arising, Niall starts kissing Harry a bit harsher, tangling his fingers with the locks of Harry's hair more. The younger boy starts speeding up now, groans escaping his lips constantly and when Niall pulls just right at his neck hair — he comes. A moan on his lips, which is swallowed by Niall, and with a particul-lary hard thrust upwards, he gives Niall the last push that he needs, to come, too. The blond throws his head back at the feeling and Harry pulls at his lip, as Niall moans, “Harry!”, and then collaps onto Harry's pale chest, which is covered with both their cum now. But both of them could care less, right now.

Niall's breath is uneven as he lays there, on Harry's suddenly really comfortable chest, and tries his best not to fall asleep right then and there. “That was...intense.”, Harry suddenly chuckles, just as Niall's eyes threaten to flutter shut. The blond makes a noise which sounds like an agreement and yawns, loudly. “Someone's tired.”, Harry smiles and Niall would roll his eyes, but he's too tired to do any of that. “That's because it's 4 in the morning, idiot.”, Niall smiles, lightly and Harry starts stroking over Niall's pale arm with only the tip of his fingers. “This is gross. Can we just, like, get this jizz of our bodies, please?”, Niall suggests and Harry snickers, “Yeah, sure, sleepy-head.” The curly-haired boy pushes Niall off him, in a gentle gesture, and cleans their stomachs and abdomens with the blanket. “Oh, Harry.”, Niall laughs at the laziness of the other boy and Harry just shrugs it off, “What? We're not the ones to wash that.”

The younger boy takes Niall into his arms again, letting him snuggle into his neck as his fingers move up and down the blond's arm. Wouldn't Niall be totally exhausted, he would think of something to say, and maybe even ask what all of this means. But right now, everything in his mind just keeps on saying sleepsleepsleep.

“Uh, Niall?”, Harry whispers into the air, hoping secretly that Niall has already fallen asleep. “Yeah?”, it comes from the smaller boy and he takes a deep breath in. “I like you, you know?”, he reveals, “And maybe, I don't know, but maybe we can try work this out. I mean, if you want to, that is.” Niall's heart flutters a bit, surprised, but somehow happy, and he giggles, “Is that your way of asking me out, Styles?” Harry chuckles, the vibrations giving a tickling feeling to Niall, as he replies, “Yeah, I kinda, guess so.” Niall props up on his elbows, staring into Harry's eyes, a smile on his lips. “Do you want to?”, the younger asks, now, his nervousness slightly showing. Niall smiles, “Yeah, I mean, I would want to try it out. Just..see where it goes.” Harry cocks an eye-brow, “So..?” “Yes, I want to give it a try, Harry.” The younger boy gleams with pleasure while hearing Niall's words and a bright smile appears on his face. Niall smiles back at him, a bit shyly, and leans forward to kiss Harry's cheek. Niall lays back onto the other's chest, cuddling more into him.

There are different things going throught both boy's heads right now. Niall is just really tired, but happy to be in Harry's arms and he is, in fact, really nervous about what the two of them are going to be like now that they're dating. Harry is nervous about it, too. But more like excited. Howsoever, he's got some kind of guilt in the pit of his stomach, but he tries his best to force it away.

The last thing, going through Niall's mind, is how good Harry smells. The last thing that goes through Harry's mind, though, is that this time, it was his name, Niall moaned when he came.

Well, there are two types of people.

• • •

Niall wakes up, still laying on Harry's chest, listening to the younger's heartbeat and smiling to himself as he intakes his apple-like smell (which Niall would have found weird, if you asked him just a week ago). Harry shifts under him and puts a gentle arm around the blond's waist, “Good morning, babe.” Niall blushes at the word ‘babe’ but he tries to calm himself down and not let his cheeks flame up. “Morning.”, he giggles and rubs the sleep out of his eyes, rolling on his side, off Harry. “Did you sleep well?”, he asks, stroking a bit over the bare skin on Niall's hip. “Yeah, surprisingly, I did.”, Niall smiles, giving Harry's chest a few sweet kisses, “How ‘bout you?” “Me, too. You were clingy.”, the younger boy teases and Niall gasps playfully, “Oh my! Won't happen again, if you don't want me to cuddle with you.” Harry grins, “Aw, don't be like that, baby.”

Niall giggles, nudging a finger into Harry's belly just because he can, causing the other to snicker. “Babe?”, Harry shows a dimpled smile and Niall looks up at him, “Hm?” A cold hand goes under the blond's chin as Harry's other hand pushs away a few strands of hair out of Niall's eyes. The younger boy tilts his head, sweetly and the blood rushes into Niall's cheeks as Harry starts leaning in. Their lips barely touch when someone walks straight in on them, calling out a loud, “Wake up, Harry!”

The person, being none other than Louis.

He stops in his tracks, staring at them shocked and totally perplexed as Niall tries to yank away from Harry, gasping when he sees Louis looking at him with wide eyes. He swallows a big lump in his throat while Harry looks like he's never been so calm before, even though he curses himself in his mind for forgetting to lock the door. “Hey, Lou.”, he says, simply and Louis still can't move. His eyes are still locked with Niall's as he tries to figure out what this means. He tries to put one and one together and as he takes in that both boys are naked, he can feel his heart drop. All he is able to bring out, is a shaky, “oh” and then the next second he is totally confused. He shouldn't even be bothered about this! It's not like Niall is his, anyway!

“Sorry for interrupting.”, he cringes and turns around, quickly. He can't believe what Harry and Niall were about to do! Niall! With Harry, for fuck's sake!

Louis storms out of the room, running into Liam as he runs into his own room. Arriving there, he is starting to become furious. He trusted Harry, goddam!


Back, in Niall and Harry's shared room, Niall is torn apart between running after Louis — even though he just knows, he doesn't want to see him — or staying here with Harry. He knows that the latter is the better choice, but he can't help wanting to comfort Louis. Harry seems to notice how nervous he is being, out of sudden, “Hey, baby, what's up?” Niall gulps, “N-Nothing. I think, I should talk to Louis.” “Are you sure?”, the younger raises an eye-brow at him and the blond nods, “Yeah. Yeah, I'm sure.”

Niall tries to stand up, but Harry pulls him back, letting him sit on his lap and laying his arms around his waist. “Harry. I really need to talk to Louis.”, Niall tries to convince him, but Harry is having none of that, “And I really want you to be here with me.”, he argues back, kissing the back of Niall's neck. The blond smiles a bit, his heart swelling, “M’sorry, baby, I promise, I'll be right back.” And Harry sighs at him, letting his hands fall down to his sides as he lets Niall stand up. “Thank you.”, Niall whispers as he kisses Harry's cheek, sitting up and putting a pair of sweats on and the only thing going through Harry's mind is how bad he wants to kiss him on his lips.

But Niall is gone as soon as Harry progresses the thought, walking down the corridor to Louis’ room. The blond has not a clue what to say to Louis. He doesn't even know why he looked so shocked. Maybe it was because of Harry. Yeah, surely... Now that he stands in front of the older's door, this idea seems to turn bad. He should probably go back to Harry and cuddle with him. But he needs to ask Louis what this was. He doesn't want him to be even more mad at him than he already is.

With a gulp, he knocks on the door and hopes the best, but there is no answer coming from the other side. He frowns and without a second thought, opens the door, relieved and stressed at the same time to find it unlocked. “Louis?”, he asks into the room, cloing the door again and then he catches the sight of Louis sitting on his bed, with his back faced to Niall. “What are you doing here?”, he asks coldly and Niall feels nervous now. “I-I just..”, he can't find the right words to say, he just doesn't know what to reply, because, actually, he doesn't even know it himself. “I don't understand why you're here.”, Louis snaps and Niall feels a bit of anger starting to bubble up in him.

“Stop being so cruel! I didn't do anything wrong!”, he says before he can think about it. And as Louis turns around to face Niall, he wishes he could just take back what he said. Louis’ face is red, fury going through him, “Get out.”, he demands and Niall is too mesmerised by the way the older's eyes shine at him. “I said. Get. Out.”, Louis clames, once again, and Niall can't help but gulp, his feet seem to be glued on the floor.

The second Niall's brain starts thinking, it is already too late. Louis is standing up from his spot on the bed and walks over to the blond in only seconds, their faces closer than they probably should be. “What do you don't understand when I'm telling you that you should get out?!”, he spits and Niall feels a shiver run down his spine. “I-I-”, Niall tries to think of something to reply, but Louis cuts him off, “How many times do I have to push you away, until you get it, Niall?!” And this one hurts a bit more than Niall wants it to, but Louis isn't the only one being mad, “I should have known, you do that on purpose! But I just don't get why you're hating me!” “Congratulations, Niall, you finally got it!”, Louis chuckles, darkly, “Why in hell are you even here?” “I wanted to talk to you, dammit! You just walked into Harry and me and looked so hurt and I just want to understand why, since it obviously wasn't because of me!”, Niall says, a bit louder than he wanted to and Louis growls, “What were you two even doing in there?” Niall is not sure what confuses him more; the fact that Louis wants to know this or that he didn't kill him, yet.

“It's none of your business!”, he answers in an angry tone, because, seriously, Louis doesn't give a shit about him, so why should he tell him? “Tell me, Niall.”, Louis steps even closer to the blond and Niall tries to back away, but suddenly Louis holds him by his wrist. Both of them hiss at the contact, an electrifying, but pleasuring sting goes through them and Louis regrets his action, releasing Niall's wrist. Niall sucks in a breath and after glancing at Louis he turns around as quickly as he can and runs out of the door, slamming it behind him.

“Fuck.”, Louis swears and lets a hand go through his hear. He's the biggest fool on earth!