Lorne had just finished a quiet dinner in the Mess Hall and was walking toward his quarters when he heard the call. He thought the radio call from Sheppard was nothing special at first – just more run-of-the-mill city business at the end of a quiet day on Atlantis.
"Major Lorne. This is Colonel Sheppard."
"Lorne here, sir."
"I need your help Major."
"Sure. What's up, sir."
"I've got a little problem. Can you come to my quarters, Major?"
"On my way, sir."
Lorne toggled off his ear piece and changed directions, heading toward the Colonel's quarters. About 60 seconds later he was ringing the Ancient equivalent of a doorbell at the Colonel's quarters.
Usually he would hear the Colonel shout out that the door was open and that he should enter. This time, however, that did not happen. Without being able to put it into words he was on alert. As the seconds ticked past he pushed the button again while simultaneously reaching for his radio earpiece.
"Colonel Sheppard. This is Major Lorne. I'm at your door. Are you ok?"
"I'm on my way, Major." Sheppard hesitated which confused Lorne. "I'm rethinking my call to you, Major. I'm a bit embarrassed but I also don't know what else to do."
"Colonel! Open this door now!"
"Open this door or I will!"
The door slid open but Lorne was unable to see anything – all the lights in the room were turned off. He heard Sheppard's voice urging him forward, "Get in here and close the door!"
"Colonel? What's going on?"
"Get in here, Major!"
Lorne entered the room, the door sliding automatically closed behind him. "Ok. I'm in. Now what's up?"
"You laugh and you're a dead man – you understand?"
Lorne was both intrigued and a little annoyed. "I doubt that there is anything that could surprise me, Colonel."
The lights came up a little, showing the Colonel standing a few feet away, naked except for a small pillow in front of his crotch.
"I stand corrected," Lorne said, averting his eyes to anything other than the naked Colonel.
"Stand wherever you want, but if you laugh …"
"I'm not laughing, Colonel. Now what the hell is going on?"
"I tried something and it was a bad idea – a really, really bad idea."
"Ok. What can I do?"
"No," he said, shaking his head. "This is just too embarrassing. Go back to what you were doing and I'll find some other way to handle this problem."
"Colonel! I'm here. Talk!"
Sheppard slowly moved the pillow down, revealing that not only was he naked but he also had an erection.
Lorne didn't know the proper etiquette for the situation so he improvised. "Why, Colonel, I didn't know you thought so much of me. I'm impressed. Truly impressed."
"Cut the crap, Lorne. I was in an 'experimenting' mood so I tried something and now it's stuck. I can't get it off."
"Experimenting with what?" Lorne asked, not knowing quite how where he should look. He desperately wanted to look somewhere else but he couldn't seem to move his eyes off Sheppard's very erect dick.
"You see, the problem is that I had never tried a cock ring so I thought …"
Lorne nodded his head in understand. "And now you can't get it off. Right?"
"Right. And it's starting to get really uncomfortable." Sheppard looking at Lorne with pleading, puppy dog eyes. "Please tell me you know how to get the damned thing off!"
"Well, personally I've never used one of the things. I've seen them, of course, but I've never needed one, so …"
"Me either. But help me get this thing off! Help me with this and I'll do my own paperwork for a week!"
"A week? Only a week?" Lorne said with a smirk on his face and a devilish look in his eyes.
"Ok. A month. Help me! Please."
"All right. Let's see what we've got here." Lorne knelt down to get a closer look at the offending device. It was clear that the Colonel's penis had swollen a great deal since the small metal ring was placed over his penis and testicles. Knelling on one knee, Lorne started to reach forward before pausing. "May I?"
"Yes!" Sheppard said impatiently.
Lorne touch the ring, running his fingers all around the small metal ring. "Yow!" he said. It's really on there."
"No kidding. Now help me get it off before my dick falls off from lack of blood flow."
"I'm not entirely sure what to do. It looks too thick to cut if off …" Sheppard pulled back instinctively. Lorne quickly explained. "The cock ring! Not the penis!"
"You understand my need to be entirely clear about this!"
"Yes, I do. Now hold still." Lorne tried to gently grab the cock ring from the bottom, trying to ease it forward. Sheppard cringed when the ring squeezed his already sensitive nuts.
"But it hurts!" he complained.
"I have no doubt." Lorne quickly looked around the room. "Tell you what," he said as he stood up. "Why don't you lay down on your bed and let me see what I can do."
"Ok. But no pain, please!"
"Colonel, you're a big baby."
Sheppard laid down on his bed, scowling at Lorne. "Just wait until you get a sex toy stuck on your dick."
"Not likely to happen, Colonel."
"Yes, Mr. Upstanding Citizen."
Lorne's hands went back to the ring. "Colonel," he said with a smirk. "I urge you to consider your words very carefully. I'm about to hold your future in my hands."
Quickly understanding, Sheppard said a bit meekly, "I understand. Help me with this and I'll be forever in your debt."
Lorne returned his fingers to the ring, once again trying to gently move it around.
"This really is tight."
"No shit, Sherlock!"
Lorne was able to grab the ring enough to try to rotate it a little. The move didn't succeed in moving the ring forward but it did succeed in grabbing and pulling a pubic hair – the Colonel was, after all, a fairly hairy man.
"Jeez, Colonel. I've seen you face down a 7 foot tall Wraith. I just pulled a pubic hair!"
"Sorry. You've got to understand. Everything down there is kind of sensitive at the moment."
"I understand, Colonel." Lorne sat down on the edge of the bed, contemplating his next move. "I think I have an idea. I'll be right back."
The Major dashed out the door but was back in a little over 60 seconds with a large bottle of olive oil in his hands.
Looking up, Sheppard smiled and said, "Genius, Lorne."
Lorne set the bottle down, removed his jacket, and grabbed a couple of towels from the Colonel's bathroom. Returning to the bed he ordered the Colonel to lift his butt so that he could place a towel underneath the man.
The towel in place, the Colonel laid back down. Lorne opened up the other towel which he laid beside the Colonel. He opened the bottle of oil and poured a little of it onto his commanding officer's erection. He used his other hand to direct the flow of the oil toward the cock ring. He set the bottle down on the bedside table and used the fingers of both hands to try to work some of the oil all around the cock ring. When he had what he thought was enough lubrication he once again tried to slide the ring forward a bit.
Sheppard again cringed as the ring squeezed his nuts.
Lorne sat back – this time with both hands liberally coated with olive oil – and contemplated his next move. "Ok. I have an idea but you may not like it."
"No more talk of cutting anything off!"
"No. No cutting. Cock rings are used to constrict blood flow to the penis and to help you stay erect longer. What usually makes an erection go away?"
"Want me to explain the birds and the bees to you Major?"
"Work with me, Colonel, or you're on your own here."
Looking appropriately castigated, Sheppard apologized. "Sorry," he said meekly. "Ejaculation."
"Right. So let's give that a try. We've got the oil."
Lorne used his well-oiled hands to redistribute some of the oil to the Colonel's erection. After spreading the oil along the full length of the erection, he stopped and said, "I better get an absolutely outstanding performance appraisal from you this year because of this!"
"Yes! Please focus on the task at hand – so to speak!"
"All right." Lorne grabbed a handful of Colonel penis and gently stroked, working the erection with one hand while his other hand surreptitiously moved down to the Colonel's testicles to try gently maneuvering the cock ring.
Sheppard moaned, throwing his head back onto the pillow. "Oh, God. You're good at that, Major."
"Years of practice, sir."
Lorne continued stroking while at the same time trying to move the stubborn cock ring. The thing really was tight; Lorne privately was wondering how in the world he was going to get such a small thing off without inflicting some serious physical harm. He hoped that the old-fashioned approach of relieving some of the pressure would help to soften things up enough to get the damned ring off the Colonel.
If possible, Sheppard's erection became more firm. His testicles, already pulled tight to his body, constricted and after just a few more strokes, Lorne saw the man's body start to tighten. He knew the Colonel was close so he tightened his grip and stroked more insistently, focusing his attention on the ever-sensitive head. Seconds later the Colonel clenched seemingly every muscle in his body and erupted, shooting a long arc of semen up over his stomach and onto his chest, landing north of his nipples but south of his neck.
Lorne kept a firm grip, milking his friend's dick through half a dozen or more spurts. The Colonel's muscles finally unclenched as Lorne milked the final drops out of the well-oiled penis. Sheppard's eyes were closed in post-orgasmic ecstasy. Lorne was pleased to feel a little softening in the Colonel's erection. He kept both of his hands exactly where they were – one on the Colonel's dick and the other around the cock ring – so as not to startle the man as nature worked its usual magic.
As Lorne sat quietly, not moving either hand, he felt Sheppard's erection begin to subside, softening a bit more. He waited a few more seconds before another attempt to remove the ring.
Grabbing a fistful of Colonel, he squeezed gently and again tried to move the stubborn ring. The ring actually moved a bit this time. Encouraged, Lorne strengthened his grip and tried to move the ring. Despite the oily hands, Lorne managed to get a firm grip and this time was able to squeeze things through the ring and simultaneously pull the ring until at last it was off.
He held the ring up and smiled at Sheppard. Sheppard had rolled a bit onto his side toward Lorne, pulling his legs upwards a bit with both hands rubbing his crotch, enjoying the feel of blood once again circulating freely to parts that hadn't had free blood flow for far too long. Sheppard gave a huge sigh of relief.
"Let that be a lesson to you, Sheppard. Don't play with things without an adult present to save you from yourself."
Sheppard gave Lorne a scornful look, propping himself up on one elbow. "Bite me, Lorne." He expected Lorne to simply get up, so he was startled and caught completely off guard when Lorne lunged at him, shouting, "Let's see if you're ticklish, Sheppard!"
Sheppard shouted, "No, I'm not!" He tried valiantly to hold a stiff poker face but he failed miserably and quickly, descending into uncontrollable laughter. "Stop! Stop! I'm going to pee myself – and you – if you don't stop! Remember, I've had an erection for a couple of hours. I really need to pee!"
Lorne sat back and said, "Very well. Pee, now! But then be prepared. Live in fear, John Sheppard, for when you least expect it I'm going to be waiting and I will get you."
Lorne again lunged at Sheppard, sending him again into peals of laughter followed by further begging.