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  1. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley has always dreamed about adventure and otherworldly things, but the highlight of his day seems to be sending out late fees to people at the library. At least until one single bookseller in Soho refuses to return a book.

    He keeps telling himself that every time he returns to the bookshop, it's because the bastard won't give back the book.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    21,597
    Chapters:
    9/9
    Collections:
    2
    Comments:
    118
    Kudos:
    195
    Bookmarks:
    31
    Hits:
    1854
  2. Tags
    Summary

    Kinky Angels and Vanilla Demons - or a supernatural ethereal long journey of exploration.

    In which an Angel and a Demon treat the whole no fraternization rule with the same casual blasphemy that orangutans show to God. (quoted source)

    Or in other words, Aziraphale and Crowley embark on a sexual adventure because Crowley has gotten it into his head that should he ever instigate sex or Satan forbid, top the angel, there is no way it will not cause Aziraphale to fall from his grace.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    41,131
    Chapters:
    11/11
    Comments:
    32
    Kudos:
    90
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1803
  3. Tags
    Summary

    Until the first Valentine's day after the Nayend comes around, Aziraphale has never viewed it with much appreciation. Love should be shown every day of the year, not just on one specific date.

    Crowley has never seemed to give a toss either, though this time, he's gone silent as a snake on the hunt, so to speak... That should have been enough of a warning to Aziraphale that something was cooking (and it wasn't a five course dinner).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,589
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    4
    Kudos:
    49
    Bookmarks:
    7
    Hits:
    201
  4. Tags
    Summary

    From one royal to another; Sidon lets slip that all his courtship attempts have failed miserably and he's even been so careful to stick to specifically HYLIAN rituals, as he is worried Zora rituals might be too vague for a Hylian.

    Too bad for him that he's been trying to court Link, who, while interested, is not the best at picking up on flirting.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,838
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
    Kudos:
    305
    Bookmarks:
    32
    Hits:
    2249
  5. Tags
    Summary

    Crowley stared at the plant.

    The plant stared back.

    Well, it wasn't the actual plant he was staring at per se, but the vibrant red chilli hanging among its dark green siblings.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    1,031
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    13
    Kudos:
    91
    Bookmarks:
    15
    Hits:
    397
  6. Tags
    Summary

    Post-not-end-of-days Crowley feels a change is needed, but he can't do it alone. Not to mention, he's not entirely sure what it is, this nebulous thing that he wants. He just knows it involves Aziraphale.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    15,318
    Chapters:
    4/4
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    182
    Bookmarks:
    26
    Hits:
    1586
  7. Tags
    Summary

    Somewhere around the death of Jesus, Aziraphale started wondering if anyone paid him any attention. By 1100AD he was quite sure and by 1800 he thought 'sod it' and opened a bookstore in Soho.

    This is canon divergent from the Garden of Eden. Aziraphale and Crowley do not meet and yet the End Times are still foiled (though who knows how - maybe an angel and a demon weren't all that necessary after all). Instead Aziraphale runs into Crowley and they end up striking up a friendship.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    23,123
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    157
    Bookmarks:
    36
    Hits:
    1335
  8. Tags
    Summary

    "I gave it away," the angel had said, fretting, wringing his hands, believing he had done anything but follow Her blueprints.

    And behold, She had looked down upon the two figures on the wall and seen a spark that should have technically not existed. The bloom of interest, of likemindedness of recognition of oneself in another person.

    And the birth of morosexuality, possibly. She would be seeing this from both of them over the millennia, to the point where She could no longer call it an aberration, but rather a well-worn habit.

     


    Or an angel is trying to ease his/her/their demon into intimacy [0.0]


    0.0Please note that this is only a guide for angels who have set their eyes on a demonic partner.
    Return to text
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40,963
    Chapters:
    13/13
    Comments:
    121
    Kudos:
    189
    Bookmarks:
    39
    Hits:
    3138
  9. Tags
    Summary

    Now, as you may suspect, a naturally occurring hallucinogenic substance would not normally have much of an effect on a— a— a displaced former wotsit of the Shamayim. You’d be correct.

     

    But this time, as the universe around the post-celestial pair begins to pulse and jive as though some stoned genius in a beatnik club had slid his arse over the bench and placed hot fingers to the keyboard, Crowley noted distantly that something was different this time. The last five hundred years were fun for a reason, and that reason was Crowley’s relationship with reality— in sum, if he wants the drugs to work, they work.

     

    Right at the moment though, he is not in charge of any reality, in any universe.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    40
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    2
    Kudos:
    5
    Bookmarks:
    1
    Hits:
    132
  10. Tags
    Summary

    Aziraphale has a secret. He has carried it with him for thousands of years. If Heaven or Hell find out, it might put Crowley and himself in even more danger.

    If Crowley finds out, Aziraphale will have to face what he's been concealing even from himself.

    With the almost end of the world come and gone, the choice is taken out of Aziraphale's hands.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,853
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    18
    Kudos:
    116
    Bookmarks:
    28
    Hits:
    664
  11. Tags
    Summary

    Over the span of 6,000 years, Crowley has taught himself to never say or think the word 'love' in connection to Aziraphale. After the Armageddon fails to happen, he can, but one thing is theoretically knowing that he can confess his feeling, it's a whole other thing to break his self conditioning and do so. Of course Heaven and Hell are making things even more difficult for the two. Because both sides have decided that getting the pair on their side would be a feather in their caps. Not only is this unwelcome, but also rude and could, quite frankly, have been timed better, if you ask Aziraphale. Ask Crowley, and he'll just make a noise and mutter about hellfire and burning. This is a story of love, of the inability to say it when you feel it counts, the other ways you have to find to say or show it. It's about Heaven and Hell being a pain in the arse, an angel discovering the Internet and subconsciously miracling himself a twitter account just to post mushy thoughts about one rather oblivious demon, a few footnotes, which add that bit of crack to balance the emotional story.

    The first two chapters are tweets - it's crack, so much crack. If you'd rather skip it, go directly for 3rd chapter which is the actual story.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    13,620
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    42
    Kudos:
    122
    Bookmarks:
    29
    Hits:
    1476
  12. Tags
    Summary

    One does not simply saunter into a Soho bookshop to declare one's undying love for a celestial principality. Especially not when one is a demon.

    Or, Crowley decides to finally tell Aziraphale how he feels. Yes, it goes about as smoothly as you may imagine.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,677
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    26
    Kudos:
    174
    Bookmarks:
    13
    Hits:
    1279
  13. Tags
    Summary

    Because Crowley seems so very at ease when she's female presenting, Aziraphale feels perhaps he should give it a try as well.

    Safe to say it doesn't quite pan out the way she expected.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,896
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    15
    Kudos:
    125
    Bookmarks:
    17
    Hits:
    1242
  14. Tags
    Summary

    Nothing but a lovely, slow morning in a cottage somewhere, a sunlit bedroom, an angel and demon. Touching and appreciating, Aziraphale knows his way around Crowley's buttons and he's not afraid to push them.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,148
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    12
    Kudos:
    188
    Bookmarks:
    20
    Hits:
    1853
  15. Tags
    Summary

    God left a few stray easter eggs in the code of the Universe - Crowley stumbles upon one and gets stuck reliving the 24th of December over and over again.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    6,487
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    30
    Kudos:
    135
    Bookmarks:
    18
    Hits:
    1040
  16. Tags
    Summary

    There's a new Jaeger in town - and Crowley might be in over his head.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    8,922
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    96
    Bookmarks:
    19
    Hits:
    603
  17. Tags
    Summary

    Things were supposed to have changed after the Armageddon didn't happen, but for some reason it's mostly the same, unless you take Crowley moping around in the bookstore into account.

    At some point his sour disposition is going to annoy Aziraphale enough that the angel will have to react.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,536
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    17
    Kudos:
    207
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    1222
  18. Tags
    Summary

    Half a world between them and Crowley gets a rather funny phone call from Aziraphale. Who is sloshed, doesn't know he's called Crowley on the mobile that Crowley insisted he take with him and is happily waxing poetics about Crowley to his own drunk self.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,745
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    38
    Kudos:
    324
    Bookmarks:
    41
    Hits:
    2100
  19. Tags
    Summary

    Fairy Land has had a nice, long run of the show Happily Ever After, but with it gearing up to its 13th season, the previous two years' dwindling viewer numbers mean this might be the last one.

    The premise has always been a selection of contestants competing for a happily ever after. No one has ever considered adding a clause specifying that villains can't participate. So what happens when the Master of Magnetism decides to join in on the 'fun'?

    The show might turn out to be a total disaster — or a total success if the show’s suffering host, Charles Xavier, manages to come to terms with several things, the pressing one among them being his budding attraction to this impossible man. Not that his co-host, Raven, makes it easy for Charles to stay in denial when she’s in charge of dressing up the contestants.

    Add in a tablespoon of Shrek, some How to Train your Dragon and a pinch of Monsters' Inc and your Happily Ever After might just not flambè your arse

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    20,666
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    22
    Kudos:
    78
    Bookmarks:
    14
    Hits:
    1012
  20. Tags
    Summary

    It's just supposed to be a nice little soak in the bathtub (Crowley's fault) and Aziraphale spends quite some of that soak contemplating feelings he may or may not have (also Crowley's fault). And because apparently one can't think about Crowley without him sauntering in the door, things get a little heated, genders get a little bent and Aziraphale gets a lot more than he's bargained for (absolutely Crowley's fault).

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    4,412
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    14
    Kudos:
    222
    Bookmarks:
    22
    Hits:
    2243

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