witchofcake



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    Grinning, Wei Ying approached. As slyly as possible, he glanced at the screen, peeking from over Xiao Xing and the first girl’s shoulders. He was overjoyed to discover it was one of his own videos they were looking at.

    “Is that Yiling?” he couldn’t help but ask. “I heard from my sister that he’s single.”

    Actually, she asked him if he was ever going to give dating a shot, but that didn’t sound quite as impressive.

    Language:
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    Chapters:
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    01 May 2021

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    “Also,” added Lan Xichen, because he was a terrible brother and Lan Wangji’s current least favorite person, “Wei Wuxian will be there. I heard he’s single.”
    Lan Wangji’s eyes flashed up to Lan Xichen, who laughed.

     

    In which Lan Wangji, in determining whether Lan Xichen’s boyfriend’s family is suitable for Lan Xichen to marry into, falls in love with Wei Wuxian.

    Language:
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    Words:
    33,416
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
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    03 Jan 2021

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    Wei Wuxian's messiness comes back to bite him in the ass, a thousand years later.

    ***

    "Why are vampire stories always I Want To Drink The Sexy Neck Milkshake and never two vampires texting about the passionate letter one wrote to the other in 1863 but never sent that the other just saw in the Smithsonian’s fall exhibition on Love Through the Ages and what the fuck, Claude, why didn’t you say anything" AU, but with immortal cultivators.

    Language:
    English
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    5,938
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    1/1
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    20 Dec 2020

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    Wei Ying lets out a long, ugly groan. “I am fine, Lan Zhan. Everybody is overreacting, it’s so embarrassing for all of you.”

    “You had undiagnosed pneumonia, which you walked around with for weeks until you passed out during dress,” Lan Wangji corrects him. “It got a big laugh, until everyone thought you were dead.”

    He keeps his voice even and does not tell Wei Ying that it had been Lan Wangji who caught him, who called the ambulance, and who rode with him to the hospital, where he was yelled at by nurses who wanted to know why he hadn’t noticed that Wei Ying couldn’t stop shivering or string proper sentences together.

    “Rumors of my demise have been vastly overstated,” Wei Ying says. “Anyway, I’m already feeling much better. Basically fine. Really almost completely back to normal, so stop babying me and tell me why the fuck you let your stupid brother hire the worst man in the world to host our show.”

    -

    OR: the one where they all work at SNL, Yanli's ex-boyfriend is hosting, and that's just the beginning of everybody's problems.

    Series
    Language:
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    Chapters:
    8/8
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    02 Dec 2020

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    “I once heard a rumour that this is how Lan An and his cultivation partner did it,” Ma Qiao piped up. “Which, I mean, if anyone could…”

    “The Lans are far too boring and repressed for something like this,” Wei Wuxian said, with the authority of one who had been resoundingly ignored by a Lan for the past month. “Can you imagine Lan Wangji dual cultivating?”

    Everyone knows that dual cultivation is a myth that only works in porn. Wei Wuxian discovers differently.
    Language:
    English
    Words:
    45,188
    Chapters:
    7/11
    Comments:
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    1936
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    26 Nov 2020