turbo_geek



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  1. Public Bookmark *

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    “Damn it, Matt! Stop saying crazy things because of drugs!”
    Or: why Matt’s heightened senses and prescription painkillers don’t mix.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,866
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    112
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    18 Oct 2019

  2. Public Bookmark *

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    Foggy's always joking when he asks Matt to marry him. Matt's always serious when he says yes.

    - OR -

    Five proposals Foggy forgot, and one Matt makes sure he'll remember.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    3,845
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    133
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    2233
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    18 Oct 2019

  3. Public Bookmark *

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    Frank opens the door and blinks. The Yelp review wasn’t kidding. The waiting room looks like a goddamn bake sale.

    (Or: The everybody lives AU where Frank Castle’s neighbor files a lawsuit against him and his wife laughs and gets her church friend Matt to help.)

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    2,401
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Collections:
    1
    Comments:
    84
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    2620
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    516
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    18 Oct 2019

  4. Public Bookmark *

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    "There was something else I was going to ask you," Aziraphale continued, unabashed. "Ah… How to put it?" He tapped his hand on his thigh for a moment, and then apparently found inspiration. "Ah! When you're…" Crowley made the mistake of making eye contact with him, and Aziraphale gave him another outrageous wink. "Dining out… What cutlery do you prefer to use?"

    "I'm sorry?" Crowley said pleasantly, trying his best not to cause anything in the dining room to catch aflame in his frustration.

    Aziraphale gave him a reproachful stare, as if Crowley were being very stupid. "When you're eating, Crowley. Do you favour the… The knife?" Aziraphale actually glanced conspicuously at his own crotch, and Crowley considered leaving the dining room via the nearest window. "Or the spoon?" Another raised eyebrow. "Or even, let's say, a fork?"

    "What the fuck is the fork in this situation?" Crowley hissed through gritted teeth.

    ---

    Aziraphale mentions that he'd like to have sex with Crowley. Crowley is completely taken-aback, and very conflicted, and very interested. Aziraphale is also trying to kill him by using elaborate food metaphors to explain the whole subject, which is not helping in the slightest.

    Language:
    English
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    13,913
    Chapters:
    3/3
    Comments:
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    257
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    16 Oct 2019

  5. Public Bookmark 13

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    A little knowledge is a dangerous thing, especially in the hands of a well-intentioned Antichrist and a trio of friends bent on giving faltering Cupid a leg up.

    “There needs to be an escape hatch too,” said Pepper.

    “Escape?”

    “Well if there is a problem. If she wakes up and sees a badger or a fox and falls in love with it instead. It’s further on here, where the Fairy King cures the Queen after she falls in love with this Bottom.”

    All the boys sniggered. Bottoms were, alas, just too funny not to laugh at.

    Language:
    English
    Words:
    12,874
    Chapters:
    1/1
    Comments:
    10
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    56
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    13
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    15 Oct 2019