things_i_can_never_have



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    The guy was all bedroom eyes and artfully-mussed hair, and his expression was caught somewhere between hopeful nerves and annoyance, only one of which Clint was used to having directed at him. He’d come dressed to impress in chinos and a navy cowl-neck cardigan, whereas Clint very definitely had not.

     

     

     

    More importantly, Clint had no idea who the guy was.

    “Yeah?” he croaked, intelligently.

    The other man blinked.

    “I’m here about the apartment?” Bedroom Eyes was all confused hesitation.

    “Camille said she talked to you,” Bedroom Eyes continued, “and told me to stop by today. You are Clint, right?”

    “Right,” Clint confirmed. “I’m Clint. Okay. Uh, come in? I guess?”

     

    The sincere but inept accidental sugar daddy Clint AU that one person actually did ask for.

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    06 Mar 2019

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    Tony marched into Bucky's personal bubble until they were chest to chest. "All right Bucky bear. You. Me. Gym. I'll bring the suit."

    Bucky grinned victoriously. "Whatever you want, tin can. I'll not only have you pinned in just a few minutes, I'll even have you out your fancy metal suit."

    "Bring it, Barnes." Tony ran to the door, bumping into Steve. He spun and glared at Bucky challengingly. "I bet you a week of dirty dishes." He sprinted down the hall.

    "You don't even do your own dishes in the first place." Bucky chased after Tony.

    Steve watched in shock and amazement as Bucky and Tony disappeared from view, their banter echoing through the hall even as they vanished.

    Clint cleared his throat and looked up at Steve like a child knowing that they'd just outsmarted all of the adults in the room and expected praise to be showered upon them. "Well," Clint started innocently enough. "I can definitely see why you'd think Bucky and Tony aren't interested in each other. I'm sure that innuendo about Bucky ripping off Tony's suit was completely innocent and not at all—"

    "Shut up, Clint."

    Clint grinned and saluted. "Aye, aye, Captain."

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    12 Aug 2018

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    "Steve finds it hard enough working with Bucky these days, and dealing with Clint as well is possibly more than he can handle. He’s managed so far to keep them apart, and for good reason, but it seems his luck has finally run out."

    Or, the one where Steve comes home feeling cranky and finds not one but two irritating assholes in his apartment, drinking his beer and touching all of his stuff.

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    13 Apr 2018

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    (970): You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.

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    04 Apr 2018

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    Clint’s shoulders slumped. "Hi, I think I’m from another dimension. Here’s a tip: if the Fantastic Four ever offer you a beer, just say no." 

    Three different Clints from three different worlds. How hard can it be to get them each back to the right one, whilst also dealing with AIM, Hydra and the Mad Thinker?

    Language:
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    21 Mar 2018